Questioning Quinn Fabray
by Free2LoveFree
Summary: Rachel Berry shows up in tears on Quinn's doorstep interrupting Quinn's date... with a woman. What caused Rachel to fly across country? And when was Quinn going to tell her she was into women? The answers just may bring fun, healing, and a lot of Faberry fluff. A Future!Fic one shot that turned into so much more. Rated: M for later chapters.
1. Tears and Confessions

**Well guys, this is my first go at both posting a story to fanfic and to the Glee universe. I won't ask you to go easy on me -I rather be told the truth any day -but please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Right now, this is a one shot, but I have enough ideas floating around that I just might expand on this soon.  
**

* * *

The sound of urgent knocking at her front door brought Quinn to her feet, a confused look crossing her face as she headed towards the door. She wasn't expecting anyone else tonight so she was understandably shocked to see one of her best friends standing on the other side, tears rolling down her face.

"Rach? What's going on?" Quinn quickly reached for the distraught woman, pulling her into her arms. She leaned out the door and grabbed Rachel's suitcase, dragging both the woman and her bag into the house.

"I… I'm s-sorry. I had, I had to get away. I didn't know what else to go."

"Slow down, Rachel." She held the woman at arm's length, looking her over for any sign of injury. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is someone else hurt?" Rachel shook her head.

"No. God, no. I'm just… lost. Th-they… they c-ca-cancled… oh my god what am I going to do? What am I doing here? I don't even know what I was…" Her sentence was muffled into Quinn's shoulder as she threw herself back into the stunned woman's arms.

"Rae, you have to calm down. I don't understand what you're saying." Quinn was worried. Everyone who knew Rachel Berry knew she was dramatic to a fault, but the way Rachel was sobbing in her arms was more than a little worrisome. She rubbed her friend's back and comforted her as best she could as the little diva clung to her.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel's head snapped up at the sound of another woman's voice. Rachel took in the woman through blurred eyes and from what she could tell she was Hollywood gorgeous with long dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. Rachel's eyes widened.

"I am so sorry. I… I… I should have called." Rachel spun and wiped her eyes quickly. "I'm a mess. I'm sorry Quinn. I didn't expect you'd have company. I'll just… I'm going to find a hotel." She sputtered at high-speed, turning to grab her bag.

"No." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist, pulling her around to face her again. "Rae, you're going to go to my room, take a shower, and relax. I'll join you in a few and you can tell me what possessed you to fly 2,500 miles and show up crying on my doorstep." Quinn's heart broke at the hopeful, yet shattered look that filled two big brown eyes.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked softly, her eyes flickering over Quinn's shoulder to the curious woman standing a few feet behind them.

"I insist," Quinn assured, pulling the small brunette into her arms again, "I know I used to make you cry, but I hate seeing you in tears. Now get. You know the way."

Rachel nodded and wheeled passed the two women; glad that Quinn hadn't tried to introduce them with the state she was in. She gave the woman a small nod as she moved quickly towards Quinn's room. She was thankful that Quinn hadn't turned her away, not knowing where else she would go at the moment. Even after all the years since high school, a part of her always worried that one day it would happen. She shook the thoughts from her head and went to do exactly what her best friend had told her to, smiling to herself as she heard Quinn apologize to her guest. Whoever the woman was, Rachel was happy that she obviously outranked her on Quinn's priority list.

Quinn sighed as she turned around, "I am so sorry about this."

The woman shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. "Was that THE Rachel Berry?"

Quinn couldn't help but smile and feel a bit proud. Her friend, a term she had never thought in high school she'd ever use, had made her dreams come true. She had made it to Broadway and was a huge success, winning two Drama Desk awards, and one Tony award in five years on Broadway. As if that wasn't enough, the little diva had followed in the footsteps of her idols, winning a Grammy for best song written for motion picture. She was already halfway to her EGOT at only 24 years old.

"Yeah, it was."

"Right. Well, I think it's time for me to get going then."

"I am sorry our night got cut short, Jennifer." Quinn sighed. "I didn't know she was coming."

The woman smiled as she shrugged on the jacket Quinn held for her. "It's fine, Quinn, really. If Rachel Berry had shown up on my doorstep, I probably wouldn't even apologize before kicking you out."

Quinn laughed as she ran her hand through her hair. "Yeah, well, she can be quite... overpowering."

"Hmmm I'm sure. Though, she could over power me anytime." The woman laughed and Quinn tried not to cringe. "Thank you for supper." Jennifer smiled as she laid her hand on Quinn's forearm and lifted herself up, brushing her lips against the taller woman's check. "Give me a call if you'd like to do it again sometime. Maybe we'll actually get to eat the next time."

Quinn shook her head after she saw the woman out and turned towards the dining room knowing she had a bit of time before Rachel emerged from the shower. She wasn't overly upset that Rachel had interrupted the night; actually, if she was honest with herself, she was almost thankful, though she was a little more than curious, and somewhat worried, about why the brunette dynamo had shown up in the state she was. Rachel had assured that no one was hurt or dying, but with Rachel, there could be a million other things, from a broken heart, to a broken nail, that would cause tears to fall. Quinn quickly cleaned up the leftovers from her unfinished meal, wanting to check on her friend as soon as she could. She was surprised when she walked into the room a few minutes later to see Rachel already sitting against her headboard, hair wet and curling around her shoulders, with dried tear tracks on her face.

"Hey."

"Hello, Quinn. I want to apologize again for disturbing you and ruining your evening." Rachel swallowed hard at the glare sent her way; very much reminiscent of the look she received many times when they were younger.

"Rachel, you can stop apologizing. And you can start explaining." Quinn held up a finger. "After I get comfortable." Quinn moved to her large, walk-in closet and slipped out of her shoes and dress. "I'm surprised you only came with one bag," she teased, eyeing the suitcase that now sat on her vanity chair in the closet. She dug through a set of drawers, pulling out an old worn down set of Cheerio running shorts and a random shirt.

"Yes, well, this trip was somewhat out of character and I have to admit that I might have been hasty when I decided to come see you. I just…" Quinn heard a sniffle coming from her bed, "I just had to get out of that city. I didn't want to go home. I know my… I know my dads would have… they would have pitied me and suffocated me. And… and…" Quinn rushed from her closet, quickly pulling down her tank top as she made it across the room, dragging the sobbing diva into her arms.

"Breath, Rach. You need to breathe." Quinn continued to rock and whisper to the woman in her arms, trying to get her to calm down. She didn't know what was going on but she knew it was big. Yes, Rachel knew how to turn on the waterworks, but this was getting to be a bit much even for Rachel. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but it had taken a while before she was able to get the brunette finally calmed down. The two of them had stretched out but Quinn refused to let go of Rachel and Rachel needed the closeness. They quietly laid beside each other, Rachel's head against her chest, her arm draped across Quinn's waist. Quinn squeezed her arms, hugging her friend tightly to her.

"Rae?" Quinn didn't want to push her, but she needed to know what was going on.

"I…" Rachel's voice cracked. "Brian was cheating on me."

"Oh Rach, not again."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't get it. Am I not good enough?"

"Rae, you are too good. For all of them." She held Rachel tighter, wanting her to believe. "Now, what else happened?"

Rachel groaned and buried her face into Quinn's shoulder, her words muffled against her skin. "What do you mean?"

Quinn rubbed her hand up and down Rachel's back. "This might have warranted a sob fest over the phone, or even a Facetime call, but an impromptu flight across the country? When you just started a show? Come on Rae."

"My show was closed."

Quinn's heart dropped. "You JUST opened."

Quinn felt tears soaking her shoulder as she pulled Rachel tighter to her side. "Three official performances! Three. That's all they gave us Quinn!" Rachel choked on her tears, letting her friend comfort her with presence. "We went down like _Glory Days_. Like _The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All_." Rachel sniffed. "Thankfully they're blaming our producer and director but... we had three official performances. Do you know what this is going to do to my career? I'm going to be the laughing-stock of Broadway!"

"Come on Rae, you know that isn't true."

Rachel shrugged. She knew it wasn't, but right now her heart was breaking and it felt like her world was crashing down around her. First her lying, cheating boyfriend dumped her. And the next day, the show she'd put so much time and effort into, even if it wasn't the best show ever, was yanked from beneath her.

"What happened?"

"Our director happened. The story was good. I sent you the script before I accepted it. Even you said that it seemed like it could go somewhere. The producers didn't promote nearly as much as they should have, but even so, we could have started slow. The rest of the cast was decent, not to my caliber, but good enough. The stage and costumes worked well. But the direction was... it was… Mr. Shue did a better job!" Rachel exclaimed throwing her free arm in the air dramatically.

Quinn chuckled. Only Rachel could pull off such a verbose description while crying, and dramatically emasculating their former coach, all in one breath. "I'll be the first to admit there is no way we would have won sectionals, much less Nationals, if it hadn't been for you as our Captain. God knows I love Mr. Shue but yeah, he kind of sucked."

"I wouldn't go that far, Quinn, but he did lack direction. And focus. And was constantly late. And allowed way too much drama to ensue. And had the most unhealthy obsession with 90s rap."

Quinn laughed, hugging Rachel to her again. "I've missed you."

Rachel sighed. "Me too."

"I'm sorry about your show Rae. But I'm sure it won't affect your career as bad as you think."

"I hope you're right." She knew that she was, but it just hurt.

"What are you going to do now?"

Rachel shrugged as best as she could without moving from her comfortable perch. "I already have another show lined up if I want it."

"If?" Quinn prodded, honestly surprised. Her and Rachel talked on a regular basis, and as much as she knew Rachel was getting tired of the demanding schedule that came with a Broadway career, she never expected her to think about turning down a roll.

"I have been doing eight shows a week, fifty weeks a year, for four years with only a short rehearsal time between shows. I think I need a break from the stage. I can't take another heartbreak like yesterday. Not right now. My agent is hunting down some possible TV guest spots."

"Working on your EGOT again?" Quinn felt Rachel smile into her shoulder.

"When am I not?"

"You're halfway there, Rae. You'll get there soon enough."

The two women fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. If anyone would have told them six or seven years ago they'd be able to lay in each other's arms, comforting each other, able to talk about anything, to call each other, or show up on one another's doorstep unannounced and be welcomed with open arms, they probably wouldn't even have laughed. They would have looked at you like you'd grown two heads, lost your mind, and needed a padded room. Yet, the last five years brought them closer than they'd ever expected.

"Quinn?" Rachel's soft voice broke Quinn from her thoughts.

"Rae?"

"There was a woman here."

Quinn smiled. She had wondered how long it would take Rachel to bring that up. "Yes, there was."

Rachel thought about the dinner she'd seen as she passed the dining room. It was obvious Quinn had created an intimate atmosphere for the two of them. "You were on a date." It was a statement, not a question, though Rachel felt it should be, but she was too tired to be confused.

"Yes, I was."

"With a woman." Rachel said calmly.

"I think we established that she was a woman, yes."

"Quinn. You were on a date with a woman."

Quinn tried hard not to laugh. It shocked her that Rachel was so nonplussed by that fact. God knows she wasn't when the thought first crossed her mind. "Yes, Rae, I was on a date with a woman. Is that a problem?"

That finally motivated Rachel to move. She had to look at her friend, to see if she was serious, because this was seriously starting to throw Rachel for a loop. She sat up and leaned on her elbow, looking down at her friend, who looked back at her, mildly amused.

"Quinn Fabray, ex-head cheerleader, one time President of the Celibacy Club, devout Christian, who only dated the most popular and hottest guys in high school, Quinn Fabray was on a date with a woman! And this is not a big deal?"

Quinn finally let out the laugh she'd been holding in. Rachel huffed and dropped herself back down on to her friend's chest. "It makes complete sense now."

Quinn snickered, getting herself back under control, wondering what Rachel was getting at. "Wh-what do you mean?" She asked through her giggles.

"It's obvious. A stage light fell, crashing into my fragile form, flinging me off stage, where I obviously hit my head and ended up in a coma. This is all a coma dream, another world my injured brain has created, where shows that I star in get cancelled, and my best friend starts dating women out of the blue."

Rachel huffed again as her human pillow shook with unconstrained laughter. "Oh my god, Rachel, that was…" Quinn struggled to catch her breath as she continued to laugh. "Sometimes I… I forget… how over the top… you can be."

Rachel growled as she rolled away from her laughing companion.

"Aww, geez, come on Rae. You know I was just teasing." Quinn pulled Rachel onto her back. "And is really that shocking? I mean, my two best friends in high school were completely gay for each other. I love your dads like my own. No, scratch that, way more than my own. Kurt and I became closer over the years. We work in an industry surrounded by out and proud homosexuals. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't restrict yourself to one gender if someone you were interested crossed your path. Is it that surprising that I wouldn't?"

Rachel breathed out slowly and uncrossed her arms. "No, you're right, I wouldn't restrict myself due to someone's gender. It's just… I guess it's just unexpected. I know we never discussed our orientation, but I, well, I assumed." She held up a hand, "And yes, before you continue, I know what it means when you assume something."

Quinn smiled and lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "It was unexpected for me too. I just realized there was no point in limiting myself. Once I got away from the high school scene and my parents' need to control everything, I realized there was no point. They pretty much stopped talking to me again once I started dating Puck and I knew that it was time to start living for me."

Rachel turned her head and took in her friend's profile. "We had discussed all of that after Noah and you realized you were going two different directions in life. All except this obvious epiphany about your orientation."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "I guess at the time, it wasn't something to talk about. I recognized it was there, but I wasn't ready to openly accept it. Funny enough, it was actually Puck that helped me realize I was open to more than just men in my life."

Rachel blinked a few times and bit her lip. She didn't want to pressure Quinn, but she really wanted to know. Was she gay? Bi? Pan? How did she come to this realization? Was Quinn gay in high school? What kind of person was she attracted to? How many people had she dated? Or slept with? That made Rachel squirm a bit and she wondered why. She was sure it was all the questions that she was respectfully trying to keep in. She knew how hard it was to come to terms with your sexuality, and for someone like Quinn it had to be even more so.

Quinn turned to look at the darker woman lying next to her and watched the struggle play out on her face. She had to admit, she was rather impressed. High school Rachel would have already blurted out a million questions. Quinn sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "I can tell you're dying to ask and I will give you all the answers you want, but first I need food, and probably a few glasses of wine."

"Oh, Quinn, you hadn't even eaten yet?" When the blonde shook her head she sat up. "Of course. I can be so dense some times. I interrupted your meal. Your date! Oh my god, Quinn, I am so, so sorry."

"Don't you start that again, just come help me heat up everything."

Once the two were settled on Quinn's overstuffed couch, each with a plate of food and a full glass of wine, Quinn gestured for Rachel to begin. "You've been patient. Ask away." Quinn said as she brought a fork full of pasta to her lips.

"So Noah? How did Noah help you come to this realization?"

Quinn nodded and took a sip of her wine. "Puck is, was, and always will be a horn dog. Even though he's a committed horn dog, he's still a horn dog. With a rather extensive porn collection."

Rachel snorted. "Not surprising."

"No. Anyway, one night, we'd had a few too many drinks and after… after Beth…" Quinn sighed, still not able to say her daughter's name with out her voice catching, "Puck knew I didn't put out when drinking. So that night, he asked if I would be ok with him putting in one of his DVDs so he could, uh, give himself a helping hand." Rachel chuckled into her glass as Quinn turned as red as her old Cheerios uniform. Quinn rolled her eyes and continued. "We're sitting there, drunk off our asses, watching these two girls on-screen getting hot and heavy. And Rae, I swear if you tell Santana any of this I will never talk to you again, but I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my entire life.

Rachel arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "It is perfectly natural to become aroused by watching the copulation of two individuals, especially when your inhibitions are lowered due to alcohol consumption."

Quinn nodded and shrugged a shoulder as she swallowed the bite she'd just taken. "I get that, but it was more than that. I mean, ok, we both know I slept with Santana. And she was good. But I just shrugged it off as drunken fun, we were both looking for someone to fill a void. I just figured it wasn't my thing. Yeah, I got off, but it wasn't the be all, end all."

"Maybe it was because of your previous relationship with her."

Quinn shrugged. "Looking back, I think that's probably pretty close to the truth. We had a weird history, and she was in love with Brittany. " Quinn shrugged. "Anyway, so I was sitting there with Puck, watching this surprisingly well made porn, and I was more turned on than I had been with any of the people I'd ever slept with –granted that number was very, very small. I just figured it hadn't been good for a while, and tried to play it off as just being the alcohol."

"Understandable, especially if you were in denial."

"That's the funny part. It really wasn't that big of deal. But I couldn't I couldn't get what I had watched out of my head. I mean, yeah, I'd seen Santana and Britt all over each other, but not like that. And every time I thought about it, I got so hot. I was beginning to wonder if I had turned into a female Puck. Every woman I saw made me wonder how soft they were, what they would feel like, how they would taste. And other than thinking I was losing my mind, I was okay with it. Other than I was in a constant state of arousal."

Rachel was surprised. If she had ever contemplated Quinn being even slightly homosexual, she was sure that she would have freaked out over the realization. Though, in hindsight, there was the whole night with Santana. She waited for Quinn to refill both of their glasses before the blonde continued her story.

"So after a few days, I needed some relief. I didn't want Puck and he was supposed to be working late anyway. So since he would be gone for a while, I decided to pop in the DVD and… yeah…. well Puck walked in."

"While you were masturbating to…"

"God, do you have to say that word?" Quinn downed her drink, knowing her cheeks were flaming red, but she decided to power on anyway. "But yes. To lesbian porn. He actually sat down with me and asked what it all meant and if I was okay with it. And of course, he encouraged me to pursue it. Told me he didn't even have to watch, not that he would ever say no to that either. Really, I was honestly surprised that he was barely even a pig about it. "

"I'm impressed."

"So was I. I never did, pursue it that is, at the time anyway. It did start me thinking and Puck and I talked about it a lot. We were getting to the point in our relationship where we realized we were more like friends than we were lovers, so it felt natural and okay. But, it still took me a long time. To be okay with it all."

"And are you now?"

Quinn bobbed her head from side to side, not quite nodding but not shaking her head either. "Mostly. I don't want to label myself or go walk in the next Pride parade swinging a big rainbow flag, but I'm okay with being me, with accepting that I can be attracted to more than just men. Being out here in L.A. I guess made it easier. "

Rachel bit her lip as she pondered her next question. Or questions. She still had so many but even if the woman she was asking was now one of her best friends, she knew some of them might be over the line.

Quinn smiled. "Ask Rae. I won't bite. And I don't have to answer if I don't want to. I'm a big girl. I promise."

Rachel nodded, not even surprised that Quinn could read her. Even though Rachel was a seasoned actress, she still wore her thoughts and her emotions on her face more often than not. "So you said 'attracted to more than just men'. Does that mean you are bisexual? Have you gone on many dates? With women I mean? Have you slept with any? Wait. Never mind. I don't want to know. Does your family know? You said not to tell Santana so does that mean her and Brittany don't know? Oh and that brings me to high school. Do you think that your subconscious desires is what caused so many issues in high school? I mean that would explain a lot wouldn't it? Head cheerleader, expected to date the Captain of the football team, yet secretly denying her inner lesbian tendencies, leading to her lashing out at every attractive and talented female in school!"

Quinn burst out laughing. It was funny how she seemed to laugh more around Rachel than anyone else. She was just so over the top that Quinn couldn't seem to help herself. "Rae! Rachel! Stop. Just… stop!" Quinn laughed. She remembered once upon a time when this part of Rachel would piss her off. Now, she couldn't help but find it funny.

"I am NOT a Lifetime afterschool special! I'm just me! God, where do you get this stuff?" Rachel sat and watched her friend laugh, patiently waiting for her questions to be answered. "Ok, fine. I did say I'd answer if I could, I just didn't expect a dozen questions at once."

"That is an immense exaggeration. It was only four questions."

"More like half a dozen. Blurted out at top speed. Along with a well written, hiding in the closet, coming out story! That I'm sure you already have choreographed and put to song in your head."

Rachel crossed her arms unimpressed and did her best to glare at her still giggling friend.

Quinn smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm not bi, I'd say more pansexual than anything but I don't like to label myself. I find the whole package attractive, not specifically the gender. I have gone of seven dates with women, not including tonight, which, before you apologize, I want to actually thank you for interrupting. There was no chemistry there and it was just starting to get to the point where it was becoming strained. I have not told my parents, as you know we only talk on holidays and birthdays, and it is not something that would come up in conversation." Quinn ticked off each question on her hand as she went. "No, Brittania does not know, not that I really care one way or another, nor would they. Annnddd," Quinn took a deep breath, drawing out the word, "I guess if I was being honest and really thought about it, which I hadn't before, Santana always gave me shit for my bathroom drawings and name calling, so your theory might have a kernel of truth to it."

"See! I knew it! You were attracted to me, weren't you?" Rachel asked, clamoring onto her knees on the couch.

Quinn laughed and pushed Rachel away from her and laughed as the actress fell dramatically back on the couch. "Brat!"

"Takes one to know one!" Rachel quipped back with a smile. She scrambled up and scooted back against the arm of the couch. "Ok, so one more question. Wait, make that two."

Quinn nodded for her to continue as she gathered up their plates and cups. "Shoot."

"One: Would you mind if I slept in your room with you tonight?" Rachel asked, rising to help clean up their impromptu supper. "Thanks to the good company, food, and wine, I am feeling much more relaxed, but I don't think I am quite ready to be alone with my thoughts and doubts as of yet."

"Of course, Rae. Not like we haven't fallen asleep in the same bed before. I'll even let you snuggle up to me before we go to sleep instead of waking up in your octopus grip in the middle of the night."

"It's not my fault. I'm a natural cuddler and you emit a great deal of body heat that I can't help but be drawn to."

Quinn laughed lightly as she placed their dishes into the washer. "It's fine, Rae. And your second question?"

"How would you mind a roommate for a while?"

Quinn turned and leaned against the counter behind her. "You're staying in L.A.?"

Rachel shrugged. "I guess for a little while. I was serious when I said that Tina was scouting for a few guest rolls. L.A. has stronger shows that New York does currently so it would be more practical to stay in the area. I could look into getting a condo or just rent out a suite…"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Quinn interrupted. "My family stays with me when they're in town. And you are part of that family." Quinn watched as tears filled Rachel's brown eyes and felt her heart grow just a little bit more, knowing she had more than made up for their past. "So you're staying. On three conditions."

Rachel's smile faded. "I will be willing to negotiate."

"One: I love you. I love music. I love show tunes. But I cannot listen to them, watch them, or discuss them on a daily basis. The guest room has a rather large TV, and Bluetooth headphones. If you must watch them, on repeat, please utilize both."

Rachel smiled shyly. "I think I can handle that. And I'll have you know, that my musical repertoire consists of more than just musicals."

"Duly noted. Two: I don't have a maid so you will be required to help with the chores. And you'll be responsible for your own vegan cuisine. I've become a decent cook but that is still over my head."

"Actually, I've recently downgraded to vegetarian. Don't ask, it's a long story, but I can handle that stipulation and I enjoy cooking so I don't mind cooking meals for both of us."

"We can switch off then on the nights that we're both in. My schedule is a bit sporadic at the moment but we can figure that all out later."

"Ok. And number three?"

"Number three is a three parter. As long as you are here, I need my best friend time. I don't get to see S and B very often, lately I barely get to talk to Kurt. I need Rachel time. So even if we're both overwhelmingly busy, there must be two lunches, one dinner, and one movie night every week. No excuses."

"Three parts? So lunches, dinner, and movie night?" She smiled as Quinn nodded. "And here I thought you were going to ask for my first born child. We'll merge our schedules tomorrow so that way we can utilize our time and coordinate our scheduling." Rachel rolled her eyes at the amused look on Quinn's face. "Yes, I still do that. Be happy I no longer use kitten calendars."

Quinn chuckled and pulled her friend into a hug. "Never change Rae. Never change.


	2. Dates and Surprises

**So I've decided to continue this little saga. I'm going to try to put up a chapter or two a week. I haven't figured out a schedule yet, but I have a rough idea of where this is going. We're looking at a slow burn Faberry story filled with lots of fluff, fun, lightheartedness, and dialogue (because that's what I'm good at) and maybe a little bit of angst along the line but not too much. **

* * *

Rachel had been staying with Quinn for almost three months and honestly was surprised how smoothly it was going. God knew it had been a fight and a half living with Kurt and Santana. Granted, they lived in a hovel compared to Quinn's ocean side condo but it was more than just the space. Rachel never felt the stress she did with any of her previous roommates. Rachel and Quinn just seemed to mesh. which was surprising given their history. They learned each other's routines fairly quickly, often cooking for each other and doing one another's laundry when the other was having a long week. Sometimes they enjoyed movie nights, curled up on the couch; and other nights Quinn would drag Rachel out to a movie premier. It didn't matter as long as they got to hang out. Rachel realized what she had missed out on her entire childhood as they spent late nights drinking wine, catching up on their days, even going as far as doing each other's nails like they were in middle school. She knew they were good friends, and would even hedge to say best friends, before she temporarily moved in, but she enjoyed getting closer to Quinn, getting see a little more of the woman who hid behind so many walls.

Her favorite part of staying together though was dinner nights. Quinn loved food, be it cooking it, or eating it. And while Rachel still revolted at the massive amounts of bacon the woman consumed, she had to admit Quinn was a talented chef. As much as they both enjoyed cooking together, sometimes they were just too busy but they both tried as best as they could to make their weekly lunch and dinner quota. Rachel had even started going as far as stopping by the set of Quinn's hit TV show to force her to have their dinners together when the blonde couldn't get away, laughing at the teasing Quinn would get from her co-workers. All in all, she couldn't be more pleased with how things were going.

"So I have one more day of shooting Dr. Kildare and then two more series lined up." Rachel said as she leaned over and snagged a spring roll from Quinn.

"Hey! That's mine." Quinn grumbled good-naturedly around a mouthful of food. "How long will those tapings run?"

"Two months off and on between the two I believe. And I have a few auditions lined up for those movies I told you about last week. I'm really hoping to land the Gypsy roll. Could you imagine? Getting to work with my idol? To have her be my show business mother? Learning first hand from the great Babs herself?"

"Just don't drool over her and you should be fine. Seriously, they'd be insane not to cast you. You're perfect for the role! I mean it's Stephan Sondheim. You were born to sing his music."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've lost role I was born to do. I'm debating singing _Everything's Coming up Roses._ Do you think that would be too much?"

Quinn grimaced and shook her head. "Kurt was right the first time around, don't so Streisand. Everyone's going to be doing Streisand songs. Go original. You're good at that. Or at least much improved over high school." Quinn laughed, remember standing by the piano, pushing Rachel to follow her dreams. The stubborn diva hadn't listened to her at the time, but Rachel finally did what she was born to do. She became a star.

"Hey!" Rachel laughed too, pushing her friend's should from across the table. "Just much improved? I won a freakin' Grammy with that talent, thank you very much!"

"I know you did. And you deserved it." Quinn softened and smiled. "You've made your dreams come true."

"I had something to prove."

Quinn shook her head. "Not to those of us who know you. We all knew you were going to be a star." Quinn held back a sigh as Rachel just shrugged off her response. She knew the woman really didn't believe her and she hated that Rachel could still seem like the somewhat insecure girl in high school, who yes, was confident in her talent, but so unsure about everything else. She knew there would always be the hidden scars, some she helped inflict herself, lying beneath Rachel's thick skin. She hid it so well in high school, but Quinn knew her now, really knew her, and some days she could see the scars more than others. As much as they'd moved passed it, it was something Quinn would never forgive herself for. Quinn shook her head and cleared her throat, knowing bringing up those hurts wouldn't do any good for either of them.

"So, thank you for bringing me supper. I'm sorry I missed our date a few days ago." Quinn stopped when she realized what she had just said. "I meant, our, our scheduled dinner."

Rachel just waved her off, distracted. "I was thinking I should start looking for my own place."

Quinn sat back, feeling like she'd just been punched in the chest, wondering where this conversation came from. How did they transition from movie roles to Rachel leaving in a few sentences? Quinn swallowed hard. Did she make Rachel uncomfortable? Nothing had seemed to change between them after Rachel found out about Quinn's sexuality, but maybe Rach thought she wanted more? Quinn just stared at her friend, dumbfounded, but unable to think of any other reason that Rachel would want to leave. Quinn shook her head sadly. It would make sense. Of course she'd want to leave, she always made everyone leave, she should be used to it by now.

"You –you want to move out? I thought things were going well." Quinn asked, unable to keep the shock and hurt from her voice. "Did... did I do something wrong? Was it because of what I just said?"

Rachel's eyes snapped up, catching the pain in the two hazel ones looking at her in confusion. "I'm sorry? What are you talking about?"

"I called our dinner a date?" Quinn asked, confused. "Did that offend you or…"

"Of course not, Quinn." She hesitated as she cocked her head to the side. "Really, if that's the easiest way to characterize our get togethers, by all means. They are, basically, platonic dates. Call them whatever you like." Rachel said simply, like it was no big deal to her one way or the other. Honestly, it really wasn't.

Quinn shrugged, still fighting off the hurt. "I love hanging out with my best friend." She knew she sounded small and pathetic, but she really didn't want to be alone again.

Rachel smiled and reached for hand, holding it in her own. "So do I. Call it whatever you like. It's not a big deal." To prove her point she gave Quinn's hand one last squeeze before snagging another one of her friend's spring rolls.

"Ok-ay." Quinn drew out the word, more relieved, but still just as confused. She honestly enjoyed having Rachel around. They got along so well, such a huge contrast to how they were in high school. Living so far away from everyone she cared for was difficult, and she had so few true friends on the West Coast. It was hard finding someone real in Hollywood, someone who wasn't putting up a front, or trying to get a leg up in the industry. It was nice having someone who knew pretty much everything about you and still cared for you regardless. No games. No pretenses. Just a strong bond and a great friendship.

"So..." Quinn swallowed hard around the lump in her throat and tried again. "So if that isn't it, why do you want to move out?"

Rachel shrugged as she looked down at the small table. "It's not that I _want_ to. I just… I figured you'd want your space back soon and seeing as it looks like I'm going to be on the west coast for a while, I just thought..."

"No, you assumed." Quinn grinned, trying to quell both of their doubts. Rachel didn't want to leave, she felt like she was obligated to. Quinn felt her smile grow into a full grown, ear to ear grin as she reached over and snagged a piece of broccoli from Rachel's plate. "And we've covered why you shouldn't do that."

"Right. So is this your way of telling me you don't want me to move?" She teased back, leaning over the table, smiling.

"This is my way of telling you I'll support your decision either way. If you decide to move, I'll help you look for a place, and make sure you don't get completely screwed by some money hungry, wanna be actor, waiting on his big break." It was Quinn's turn to reach for her friend's hand. "But, if you want to stay, we can go shopping, redecorate. Maybe even have some of your stuff shipped over to make it feel a little more like home. Your choice, but I would love for you to move in." She gave Rachel her patented Quinn-Fabray-smirk as she leaned back, "Besides, I've finally gotten you trained. Who else is going to make sure I have clean clothes and don't sleep through my alarm?"

"I see how it is. You're just using me for my vast array of talents."

Quinn was getting ready to respond when the PA banged on the door to tell her they were ready to start shooting again. Quinn sighed. "We will talk about this later. But think about it. I wont be back until late tonight and we have an early morning cast meeting so I probably won't see you for a few days. But let's do lunch sometime this week? Just send me your schedule, k?"

Rachel smiled to herself as she watched her friend walk out the door. "You'll see me much sooner than that." 

* * *

Quinn rubbed her tired eyes as she slumped down in her chair. She hated read-throughs and to make things worse, the cast didn't even get the script in advance like normal. Some hush-hush, surprise, big guest star and a huge plot twist that they didn't want leaked. She'd heard around set that everyone's confidentiality agreements had been updated, though she hadn't saw her own yet. She was sure their producer, Shara Mitcheson, would get to it before the end of the day.

"Yo, Fabray, you look like something the cat dragged in." Quinn rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Shove it Paden. We were on set until 2:15 this morning, I didn't get in bed until almost 4, and I had to be up at 6 to get here. I'm awake, semi-coherent, and haven't killed anyone yet. Don't talk to me." Quinn really didn't mind her cast mate. In fact, they usually got along pretty well. April Paden was like some weird combination of Santana and Brittany, a combination of snark and innocence that only the redhead could pull off.

"Snippy. You need to get laid."

"Yeah, well, there's that too."

"You know if you stopped dating your roommate, you might actually be able to get to have some sexy times."

Quinn rolled her eyes. It was official; she was back in high school. Quinn dropped her head to the table and groaned. It wasn't even worth the effort to argue with the woman. They'd just end up going round in circles, with Paden teasing her about the way Rachel would come to set every other week to share dinner with her.

"Aww, come on, it's cute!"

"Seriously, fuck off April."

Quinn jumped when a script landed heavily beside her head. She looked around the room, realizing she must have dozed off.

"Welcome to the land of the living Fabray." She glared up at their producer as the PA moved around the room, handing out scripts. "Alright folks, if we could get started?" Shara called everyone to attention. "As you know, sweeps week is right around the corner and we need to start getting ready. Our ratings have been steady but the higher ups are hoping to boost our numbers this fall. As such, they're calling in the big guns. We have two rather big name guest spots for our next arc. Raymond Luke Jr. will join the cast as a teenage runaway. He'll be on set in two weeks. Our second guest is someone I'm sure you've all seen around set lately, but she seems to be running late today. We'll go ahead and start with a quick rundown of the current case and then begin the read through. Hopefully by then our missing star will show up."

Twenty-five minutes later Quinn had given up caring who was supposed to be coming and was just trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. She was trying to pay attention but she just really wanted to sleep. Seriously, whose brilliant flippin' idea it was to schedule a read-through after a late night shoot? Granted, it wasn't supposed to go as late as it had, but one of the newest cast members to their ensemble repeatedly missed his mark or forgot his lines. Quinn glared over at the young man whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember at the moment as the door swung open and a familiar, frazzled looking woman floated through.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Apparently traffic is a lot worse than I expected it would be and the barista messed up my soy latte twice."

"Rae?" Quinn stared as her best friend's presence filled the room, wondering what the woman was doing there… and then it hit her. Quinn's jaw dropped in shock. How did she not know about this? If her sleep-addled brain was working properly she may have figured it out sooner. _THAT_ was what her boss meant when she said everyone had probably seen the guest around set. Rachel had been by set more than a few times in the weeks she had been staying with Quinn. Why hadn't anyone told her that she was going to be on Quinn's show? It was the only reasonable explanation of why she was here. It was only moments later when her suspicions were confirmed.

"For those of you who have been living under a rock the last few years, please allow me to introduce our special guest, Tony- and Grammy- award winning, Broadway superstar, Rachel Berry."

It was official. She was going to kill Rachel. She glared at the small woman as their producer ranted on. She was sure that Shara was filling in everyone on Rachel's background, how she'd bring a new set of viewers, blah, blah, blah. She couldn't bother to listen, she was too pissed. Or hurt. Or just fuckin' surprised. She felt like the girl whose boyfriend was stole from her in high school, the girl whose parents had kicked her out, the girl whose friends all turned their back on her. She was just utterly confused and couldn't make heads or tails of what she was thinking or why. Quinn growled internally. Or not so internally she figured as she heard April snort and mumbled something about getting laid. She flipped off the actress as the woman stood and smiled at Rachel, moving two seats down to make room for her. Rachel thanked her as dropped her bags into one of the two empty seats, and herself into the other, placing a cup of coffee in front of Quinn in the process.

Okay, maybe she wasn't going to kill her, just maim her a little bit. "Oh, thank heaven." Quinn groaned as she pulled the lid from the cup and inhaled deeply. Or marry her. Quinn couldn't decide. "You," Quinn paused to take a drink, "are an angel."

"So if everyone could please welcome Ms. Rachel Berry." Shana's voice brought her back to the room at large. Her cast makes clapped as Rachel smiled at each one of them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Quinn whispered loudly over the applause.

"Confidentiality agreement." Rachel whispered back. "And I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, guess what? It worked. Consider me surprised." She tried to keep the bite out of her tone, but apparently lack of sleep, and according to April, lack of sex, caused her filter to fail her. She watched as Rachel's face fell and wanted to kick herself.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I really wanted to tell you but I wasn't allowed to."

Quinn sighed. She knew it wasn't like Rachel to keep something from her and she knew how their contracts worked. Even if she was completely blindsided, she had to admit it wouldn't be too horrible to work with Rachel again. Yes, she still talked a lot, and thought she knew better than everyone else; but she also had such a passion that Quinn couldn't help but admire, even when they were at each other's throats in high school. She laid her hand on Rachel's knee. "I'm sorry, Rae. I didn't get much sleep. I get it, really, it's fine."

The smile that filled Rachel's face was worth it. She laughed as Rachel did a happy dance in her chair. "We get to work together!"

The rest of the cast hid their smiles as the little diva squealed and hugged Quinn's arm. Quinn was generally a nice person, but she could always be a little hard and cold at times. She kept a wall between her and anyone else so they all got a kick of seeing her soften a little bit around the vivacious brunette. They all agreed that while the rest of the morning dragged on, it was just a bit more bearable for everyone in the room thanks to Rachel, and in turn Quinn, keeping everyone entertained. More than once Rachel randomly broke out into song, delighting everyone.

"As much as we love your singing Ms. Berry, we have three more scenes to get through today." Shara laughed from the front of the room. "Now, does everyone understand where we're going with this?" Everyone around the room nodded but Quinn. "Alright Fabray, what are you missing?"

"I guess, it just seems like Detective Riya is getting very close to a character that will only be around briefly." Quinn worried about what it would do to her character. She could do angst if she had to, she'd lived through enough of it in her lifetime, but it wasn't her forte. She liked getting the laughs and pushing through the drama, which made the show perfect for her. It was why she had such success with it. Critics heralded it as a "_30 Rock_ meets _Cagney and Lacey_." She could have come up with a better description but it seemed to work. They walked the fine line between a serious police drama and an off-the-wall comedy well and while she hated thinking it, she was a little worried that the often serious and over-the-top Rachel Berry might destroy the balance.

"Actually, Berry has already signed on for four episodes with the option to extend her contract at a later date. More than enough time to adequately flush out the relationship between the two characters."

Quinn looked at the diva next to her, surprised. "Really?"

"Quinn, I am positive that you and I had a conversation where I informed you of my intent to do guest appearances. I have done two so far, but none with the caliper of _Steel_. This show is has a strong, award-winning cast. Its writing staff has already received numerous nominations. You, yourself, were nominated for an Emmy last year." Quinn blushed at the mention of her Emmy nod. "Not once in the last three seasons has the show not been nominated in more than one category. I find the dynamic of the show highly enjoyable and am looking forward to the challenge my character will bring. It will open a few doors for me and push me into comedy, an area that, while admittedly, I have very little experience in, will allow me to show potential future employers the wide array of my talent. Over all, I felt that this guest spot was a very prudent career choice move."

Quinn nodded along with her friend's reasons, feeling more than a bit guilty at her initial reaction. She realized that Rachel was the type of person to arise to any challenge and conquer it, and comedy would be just one more thing she'd end up excelling at. The choice to join _Steel _was, of course, thoroughly well thought out, not that Quinn would expect anything less for Rachel. Her fervent speech had Quinn convinced she was up to the challenge, but it was Rachel's closing words that made her absolutely melt.

"When they approached me, I couldn't say no. I wouldn't have even if it all of that weren't true, which it is. I still would have said yes for the simple fact that this guest appearance has given me the opportunity to work with my best friend. I was humbled to be asked to work alongside you. I loved performing with you in high school, but with our stronger friendship, and this new media... I've sat in on a few of your tapings Quinn, and you are amazing. Why would I say no to that?"

Quinn couldn't help the smile that lit up her face and was happy to see an answering one of Rachel's. Quinn shook her head internally and was reminded again of what a sap she'd turned into as she reached under the table and took Rachel's hand in her own, hoping to convey her apology and gratitude for Rachel's passionate words. All of her doubts were gone and she couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with Rachel at that moment. Rachel was always the one to tear down the walls Quinn built in high school, and apparently she could still do it today. No one had ever made her feel as special as Rachel did.

Quinn swallowed back her emotions, knowing every eye in the room was on them, she did her best not to shift uncomfortably under the scrutiny. She squeezed Rachel's hand again before she donned her well-practiced mask of indifference and looked to the head of the table with a shrug. "She does have a point. I am pretty amazing." She said with a smirk. The table chuckled and she ducked as April tossed a napkin at her and pretended to gag.

Rachel shook her head and leaned closer to Quinn. "Doesn't she remind you of…" Rachel whispered as the rest of the cast moved onto another scene that didn't contain either of them.

"Oh yeah." Quinn said with a laugh, throwing the napkin back.

"Should I be worried?"

"Na, she's got enough Britt in her that she's mostly tame. It's kind of funny actually."

Rachel nodded. "I miss them." Brittany was so loving and innocent that she was easy to grow attached to. She was honestly shocked at the odd friendship that had sprang between her and Santana while they were roommates, though the Latino woman still swore up and down that she couldn't stand Rachel, everyone knew better. She'd probably gotten more calls from her than Kurt, Brittany, and Blaine combined since she'd been on the West Coast.

"I do, too." Quinn took another drink of her coffee and sighed with pleasure. "Do you know when B's show ends its run?"

Rachel shook her head and sighed as she realized her coffee was gone. She really needed to kick the habit but it was her one vice and one she wasn't willing to give up at the moment. "No. When I talked to Tana a few nights ago she said that some other shows have been trying to buy out her contract but nothing has been decided. Britt feels like she's betraying her cast by even thinking about going to another show so knowing Brittany, she might be with the show until the end of time."

"Yeah, B doesn't like to let people down. She'd feel horribly guilty." Quinn cocked her head to the side, trying to think of a way to get their friends out to the west coast, but nothing was coming to mind. "We might need to fly out soon then and see everyone."

Rachel hummed, noncommittally. As much as she wanted to see everyone, she also didn't want to burst the little bubble that Quinn and her had created. It was nice just being the two of them. She had honestly worried for a moment that Quinn would be upset that with the surprise of her being on the show. She had even had it written into her contract that if any of the lead actors had any issue with her being on the show that she would be able break her contract without any penalties. She was honest when she said that her big reasons for joining the cast were due to the possibility of Emmy contention, but if she were being honest with herself, it was more the possibility to work with Quinn.


	3. Skin and Truths

**A little bit of angst mixed in with fluff and humor. Please let me know what you think, be it good or bad. For those of you who have already reviewed, favorited, or followed –you guys rock! Thank you!**

* * *

Rachel was glad to sit down. They'd been shooting for eight days straight and she was exhausted. After working on Broadway she was sure a syndicated television series would be a walk in the park, but the filming schedule was grueling. Some days she was on set in the early hours of morning, others she was stuck repeating the same scene long after the theater would have went dark. She was glad they only had one more day of shooting on the current episode before she had a few much needed days off.

"I was wondering if you are by any chance free tomorrow night? I was thinking that maybe we'd try out that new sashimi place that Thomas had mentioned earlier today? He said that they…"

Quinn held up her hand to stop what she was sure was going to be a verbose replay of the conversation they'd both had earlier with the younger actor. "I was there, Rae, and no. First off, you know I don't do sashimi. Sushi, I like. I can trick my brain into eating it, because not all of it contains raw fish, looks like raw fish, or tastes like raw fish."

"Quinn, you should know by now that sashimi isn't just fish. Many dishes consist of other types of meat, for instance chicken, beef, and frog."

"Says the vegan, vegetarian." Quinn deadpanned. "You're not selling your point any more, by the way."

Rachel blushed. "Touché. I can't help it. I unwittingly stepped into the world of Japanese cuisine when I was dating that nice actor from Isa, Japan."

"Yes, well, that brings me to my second reason of skipping out on the wonders of Japanese dining. I actually have a date tomorrow." Quinn admitted. She was excited. It'd been a long time since she'd actually been out. She didn't count the well timed interruption of her best friend four months prior. For one, the date wasn't even half through before it was over, and for two, they didn't actually go out but stayed in.

Rachel roughly swallowed the bite of the margherita pizza they were splitting for lunch while on set. "Oh." Rachel could hear the disappointment that coated that one word, but couldn't help it. She'd had Quinn to herself for so long that she hadn't even thought about the woman dating since she first moved in. She shook it off and moved on.

"Right, well, I guess it is a good thing you have a date then, you won't have to be subjected to a cuisine that you find unpalatable. I'm sure I could convince Thomas and some of the other cast to join me. April Paden seem interested in branching out. It would be a good bonding experience for the rest of the cast. I am sure you'll find your date's company much more enjoyable."

Quinn shook her head. She had heard the disappointment, and though she was a bit confused by it, she was honestly just happy to hear that she wouldn't be stuck eating oddly shaped raw meat. "Just because I don't want to suck down some weird meat concoction doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy the company. Find another place, on another night, and we'll go out with the whole cast and crew okay?"

Rachel sighed. That's not exactly what she had meant, though she herself wasn't sure what she meant. She just felt uneasy at the thought of Quinn going on a date, though that didn't make any sense either. More than once of the previous five years one of the two of them would call to get a boost before going out with a new guy. Though, Rachel did have to wonder why she never got a call for an ego boost before Quinn went on a date with a woman. She'd been on seven dates and not one of them did Quinn call her before, or at least to the best of her knowledge she hadn't. Maybe she'd been more comfortable going out with someone of her own gender and didn't feel like she needed the extra dose of confidence? Or maybe she was uncomfortable telling Rachel about it? It made her wonder if Quinn would have ever actually told her about being open to same-sex relationships if Rachel hadn't, quite literally, stumbled into her date. Rachel wanted to ask, but decided to save the questions for another time. Right now, she'd play her part as best friend and boost Quinn before her date, asking all the right questions, and give her the obligatory pep talk she knew Quinn was angling for.

"So who is he? Or she? What are they like? Do I know them? How did this date come about? And how did I not know about you getting asked out until the night before?" Rachel pressed as she took another bite of her pizza.

"It is a him, his name is Austin. I'm not sure what he's like exactly, but he has sandy blonde hair, but darker than Sam's, with caramel brown eyes. I hope to learn more about him tomorrow. And the reason I'm telling you so late is because the it was a rather impromptu request."

"Fair enough, but when have you had a chance to get asked out lately? We've been working non-stop. Unless, he's one of the crew?"

Quinn shook her head as she polished off her piece of pizza. "You know when I went to get coffee this morning?"

Rachel nodded. "I had to be on set early with April."

"Right, well that's when. I got stuck inline sandwiched between an office go-fer who had a gazillion drinks to order, and a fine young gentleman who decided to chat me up while we waited."

"Quinn, you cannot be serious? You are going on a date with some random man you met at a coffee shop?"

Quinn looked up confused. "Yes?"

"He could potentially be a serial killer or psychopath or deranged stalker!"

"Relax Rae, people go out with people they just meet all the time and he looked harmless."

"Yes, and so did Buffalo Bill before he pushed the Senator's daughter into his van with the intent of using her as a suit! A skin suit, Quinn!"

"Oh. My god." Quinn snorted into her cup. "I can't believe you just referenced Silence of the Lambs."

"Quinn, focus! It rubs the lotion on it's skin, Quinn. He could want your skin!"

"Rae, seriously, he's not going to want my skin for a suit. God, that has to be one of the weirdest things I have ever said in my entire life."

"What's weird?" April asked as she plopped down beside the diva, stealing a piece of pizza.

"Rachel, believing my date would want to steal my skin."

"I had a guy try to steal my hair. I think it has a lot to do with my hair. 'Cause look at how long it is and how beautiful it is."

"No, what is weird is Quinn going out with a random stranger she met at the coffee shop this morning."

"That is weird. Haven't you seen American Psycho? God, Quinn if I knew you were that desperate I thought you would have finally broke down and asked Rachel. At the very least I would have set you up with my cousin."

"Why are you here?"

"I work here." April replied as if were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, here, as in here, my trailer, stealing our pizza?" Quinn glared at the red-head.

April shrugged. "I was hungry." She rolled her eyes at the look Quinn was giving her. "Get over yourself. Oh. Wait. Am I interrupting one of your date thingies?"

"It's NOT a date, Paden."

"You know sex isn't dating either. You two should totally have sex. Then maybe you wouldn't be so tense."

Rachel looked between the two women and burst out laughing. "Oh god! She IS so Brittany!"

"No? I'm April." April looked at Rachel liked she'd lost her mind. "Is she having an asterism?" She asked out of the side of her mouth, her eyes never leaving the laughing diva.

"Aneurysm. No. She just has mental issues." Quinn sighed.

"Oh, okay." April shrugged and grabbed another piece of pizza, which she promptly used to point at Quinn. "You really should reconsider going out with random people you've never met. I mean, I pegged you for a lot of things, like a closet case, but stupid wasn't one of them. At least tell me you're being smart and meeting him in a public place."

Quinn shook her head as she heard Rachel mumble something about Kurt. "What are you doing, Rae?"

"I am getting video documentation of the intriguing April Paden. No one is going to believe me when I tell them that there is a full grown, redheaded child of one Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce running around LA."

April reach over and snatched the phone from Rachel's hands. "Oh no. Nu uh. I am no one's child. I can't believe you would even call someone a redheaded stepchild. Do you know how discriminatory that is? What if everyone made fun of you because you were short? Or had a big nose? Or were Jewish?"

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Quinn held up her fingers as they started listing them off. "Dwarf."

"Hobbit."

"Treasure Trail."

"Sorry about that. Schnozz."

"Yentl."

"Sad little Jewish girl."

"It doesn't it count if you call yourself that!"

"I guess. How come I got all of the horrible nicknames anyway?"

"We were jealous of you?" Quinn shrugged "And did you forget Tubbers? Preggers? Lucy Caboosey."

"Oh. Yeah. How did I forget those? Though your caboose these days is pretty nice." Rachel giggled.

"Pshhh, my ass has _always_ looked nice." Quinn retorted before snatching the last piece of pizza.

"I feel like I'm watching verbal ping pong. It's kind of disgusting, like I've been dropped into some weird version of the Twilight zone where they torture you with sexual tension. Are you guys always like this? Because if you are then that totally explains why no one joins you on your dates."

"Paden, for the last time, they're not…"

"April, how would you like to join Thomas and I tomorrow night for sashimi?"

"What are we slashing?"

"No, it's a type of food."

"Well, as long as it's dead, I guess it'd be okay to slash it." Quinn rolled her eyes as Rachel held a hand between her and April, pointing as she mouthed "Brittany."

"Is Tubbers going to be there?" April grinned over at the blonde as the woman next to her burst out laughing.

"No, actually, I have a real date."

"You mean you have a date with someone who isn't Rachel?" April sounded like she was honestly shocked.

Quinn threw her hands in the air. "I'm going to make up. We're supposed to be on set in twenty minutes." 

* * *

Quinn sighed. Maybe Rachel had been right. Not about the whole skin snatching thing, but about going out with a complete stranger. Austin really seemed down-to-earth when she'd met him two days before, but since sitting down with him at the restaurant she was second-guessing her choice. This was why she so rarely went on dates. Her love life was a disaster for a reason. Men sucked and women were just crazy. Or vice versa. She wasn't sure anymore. Honestly, Austin was nice enough, but he talked nonstop. And while it was cute and endearing on her best friend, it was annoying and rather nauseating coming from the man-child across from her. Especially since he mainly talked about himself, his likes, and who he knew around LA, as if she would be impressed by such a fact. She rolled her eyes at the thought. She was on a first name basis with more than a few celebrities and he was listing off people who knew people.

"Do you like musicals?" Quinn asked, interrupting her date mid-sentence, not that she had been paying attention to what he'd been saying anyway. She wasn't sure where the question had come from but now she was honestly interested in what his answer would be.

"I… I guess? Why is there one that you'd like to go see? Maybe on a second date? I am sure they have something playing in town. I know someone who works at Naurt Theater that might be able to get us some tickets."

Quinn rolled her eyes knowing that that particular theater was a movie theater. A prestigious movie theater, but a movie theater none the less. While they still had regular showings of Rocky Horror, and had festivals of Disney classics, it would never be considered a theater company that put on musicals.

"Are you serious right now?" Quinn's irritation leaked into her voice, but the man was on such a roll she was sure he hadn't even noticed.

"Of course. It might take a week or so to get tickets but I'm sure…"

Quinn sighed in relief when her phone began to ring from inside her clutch. Usually when on a date, she'd have muted her phone, but she was beyond thankful for her oversight when she saw Rachel's name on screen "I'm sorry, please excuse me."

Quinn stood from the table and walked to the front of the restaurant. "Oh, thank god." Quinn sighed into the phone the moment it connected.

"That good?" Rachel laughed in response.

"Well, he hasn't gotten around to trying to steal my skin yet, but I'm almost ready to peel it off myself and give it to him just to shut him up."

Rachel's laughter made Quinn smile for the first time that night. "That makes me almost wish I would have tailed you like April suggested."

"You mean you didn't? I could have sworn I saw suspiciously familiar red and brown hair seated a few tables away from mine." Quinn leaned against a wall out of sight as she took in the embarrassed blush that crossed her best friend's face.

"I am sure that it just happens to be someone who is as stunningly attractive as April and I. We just so happen to be a the sushi place that Thomas was…"

"Nice try Rae, and it was a sashimi restaurant. Look up and to your left." She waited until Rachel's eyes found her own and gave her a small wave. She laughed into her phone at the color that rushed to Rachel's face. "Busted."

"Quinn, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"

Quinn hung up her phone with a shake of her head and made it over to her friends' table. "I should be offended. But if you two can find a way to get me out of this disaster of a date, I would be willing to forgive you both."

Quinn could tell that Rachel was more than willing to give in, but April cut her off before she could accept the deal. "Now hold on, let me get this right. I come to a beautiful dining establishment, with an equally beautiful date," Rachel felt her cheeks redden even more at the wink April sent her, "and you expect me to end said date just to help you out? I don't know, doesn't sound like we aren't getting anything out of this deal. What do you think, Rachel?"

Rachel hesitated for only a moment, she didn't want to upset Quinn, nor did she want her to really believe that April and her were on a date. She couldn't help but smirk at the dumbfounded look her roommate was giving them and decided to play along. "We were having such a lovely time together."

Quinn looked between the two, incredulously. "Fine." Quinn growled. "What do you want?"

"Simple. Pizza. Beer. And Glee." April said with an evil smirk. Damn it, if she didn't look like Santana right then. If Santana was a red-head, who was evil and soulless.

"Glee?"

"Tapes. I know yous got tapes. DVDs. I want to see Quinn Fabray in action. That's the deal."

Quinn debated lying, but she knew even if she didn't have a copy, Rachel was sure to have a few copies in her DVD collection, or at the very least on her iCloud. She considered telling April just to look them up on YouTube, but then she'd still be stuck on this horrible date. A date that she probably should get back to before he ran off with her jacket and clutch which were both still at the table.

"Fine. Just do whatever you have to." Quinn regretted those words even as they left her mouth. She saw the mischievous look in April's eye as she spun on her heel and headed back to her table.

"Sorry, my agent." Quinn lied as she slid into her seat.

"Agent? Oh are you an actor or something?"

Quinn stared at him incredulously. "I... uh... yes, yes I am."

"Oh that's great! I tried to get into acting myself, but I quickly realized I wasn't meant to be in front of the camera. I know, shocking, with my good looks you'd think I would be perfect, but I decided I liked working backstage better. I've been working as a janitor over at Bundalac Studios. One of the directors there said he'd take a look at my script soon. I've been writing for a while. When he buys it, I'll make sure to suggest you, and seeing as we're dating, I'm sure I'll be able to get you a part."

Was this guy for real right now? Before she could even answer a "drunk" redhead fell into her lap. "What the actual hell?" Quinn yelled as the actress in her arms burped, loudly.

"Sssssor-weeee I ssssseem to have mis-placed... well, my self." Paden slurred before erupting in giggles as she hung onto Quinn's neck.

"Oh. My. God." Quinn wanted to slam her head against the table, but a voluptuous woman sat between her and her target. Just when she thought the night couldn't get any worse. This was their big plan? Couldn't have been a 911 emergency call? Or a fire in the bathroom that forced them to scramble for safety, allowing her to slip away in the crowd? No, she gets the famous actress who decides she wants to play a drunk, in front of a crowded room full of people. Lovely.

"You're cute!" April exclaimed loudly, earning her a look from a few nearby tables.

"Uh, miss?" Her date finally shook himself out of his stupor and tried to get April's attention, finally lifting his eyes from where they had been fully planted on her… assets. "Would you mind getting off my date?"

"Ohhh... You wannnt me to get your date off? Kinky! But I like it!" April turned her head and started kissing her way down Quinn's neck.

Quinn shook her head and groaned, "Fuck my life." She heard her friend giggle into her neck.

"Hey ssssexy," April purred loudly into Quinn's ear, making sure Quinn's date could hear, "what do you say we ditch the looser and go back to my place?"

If this was her way out, she might as well make a show of it. Quinn let out a low throaty moan as April nipped at her neck, chuckling to herself as the redhead shivered involuntarily. Oh, this could be fun. Get back at April for her stunt, and leave dickhead saluting his shorts, stuck at the table. Quinn laughed to herself. So much fun. Quinn made a show of lifting her neck giving the woman room to continue her assault on her neck, staring her tablemate in the eye the entire time as she began to let her hands wander to PG-13 areas. She smiled, knowing she had the man's attention as she bent down and tilted April's chin up.

She smiled evilly as April's eyes widened in surprise as she brought her face closer. "Sell it." She whispered as she took the redhead's lips between her own, instantly deepening the kiss. She smirked into the kiss as April moaned loudly, not caring if it was for appearance or not. She thrust her tongue deep into April's mouth as she grabbed her ass and pulled her closer. She could feel the woman breathing heavily as she continued to besiege her mouth. As she pulled away her smile grew at the dazed look at the woman in her arms.

"Let's get out of here." She said throatily. Red hair bounced as April nodded in agreement before she stood quickly on shaky legs. Quinn glanced across the table as reached into her clutch and pulled out a few bills, throwing them on the table in front of the stunned man.

"Enjoy your dinner. It's on me."

"Wait, I'm not coming with?" The man began to stand up, then quickly sat back down. "I mean, if you want we could…"

Quinn growled as she pulled April into her side. "I don't share." She grabbed her jacket with her free hand and spun them around, heading for the exit. "Where's Rachel?" She asked when they were far enough away from the man who kept trying to stand, but couldn't out of embarrassment. She laughed to herself. As much as she'd outgrown her HBIC attitude, she couldn't help but admit she still got a thrill out of putting people in their places. She was initially shocked, and pissed, by April's show, but now she just wanted to high five the woman and go get a slushy for old time sake. Not that she would ever do either.

"She wasn't thrilled with my plan so she decided to wait by the doors and call ahead for pizza."

Rachel paced a few feet from the door of the restaurant. She had tried to talk April out of her scheme but the woman had already decided pretending to seduce their "beautiful, blonde, bombshell" friend –April's exact words, was going to happen one way or another that night. At first, April had tried to talk Rachel into being the one doing the seducing, but when Rachel had been adamant that the plan was horrible, April decided that she'd play the roll. She felt her stomach clinch at the thought, though her muddled brain couldn't decide if it was more at the thought of Rachel herself doing the seducing, April seducing Quinn, or of Quinn possibly falling for the lateral. She'd watched the beginning of it from the same wall that Quinn had been standing at when she busted them. She cringed as she watched April drape herself over Quinn, kissing her way up Quinn's neck but had to turn away as soon as Quinn began to grope the woman. She felt like she couldn't breath. She had spun on her heel and quickly left the establishment to begin pacing, which is where Quinn and April found her ten minutes later.

Quinn instantly knew something was wrong and dropped her arm from around April's waist, stepping closer to the brunette. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Rachel nodded, though she couldn't hold eye contact with Quinn. No, everything was far from okay, but she couldn't admit that to Quinn. Quinn would ask questions that she didn't want to answer.

"The driver should be here in just a minute." She said, looking over towards April and back to Quinn. Quinn knew she was lying, or navigating around the truth with deflection, and Rachel knew she knew it. She caught two hazel eyes searching her own and she silently begged Quinn not to pursue it, not even sure what she would say if Quinn asked. She sighed in relief as she caught Quinn's subtle nod as the blonde stepped back.

"Okay, we'll have to stop on the way to the condo to get some drinks. There's nothing at the house."

"Already taken care of. I asked Wade to pick us up a selection when I called to tell him we were ready early." Rachel was glad for her forethought on the matter.

"Your driver is amazing. How come the studio gets you one and we get nothing?" April asked from where she was leaning against the façade of the restaurant.

"I'm a bigger star with a better agent who is good at getting me all the perks." Stated like it was a fact. Which it was.

"I need your agent." April said with a laugh

"Remind me and I'll give you Tina's card. Quinn can point her out later tonight."

"She's coming over tonight?" April asked confused.

"No, she'll be on the DVD. She was one of the Gleeks. One of the members of our Glee club." Quinn clarified as a black town car pulled up to the curb.

"Good evening ladies." A tall, fair skinned man with a faintly oriental accent bowed to them and opened the door.

"Hello, Wade. I am sorry we had to interrupt your meal."

"Do not worry about it, my dear. This is what I get paid to do, and it is my pleasure to be surrounded by such beautiful and talented ladies, such as yourselves."

"Not only do you get all the perks, you get the ass-kissing as well. Tell that Tina chick she has a new client." April said as she slid into the car.

Rachel just nodded and thanked Wade quietly before she slid into the small back seat. There was no way that she was going to allow Quinn to sit next to April after the display they'd just put on. _God, I hope it was just a display._ Rachel caught herself thinking.

Quinn looked up at the man who smiled and gave her a wink as he held out his hand and helped her into the car. She was apprehensive about what was going on with her best friend as she slide into the car next to her. Quinn couldn't understand what had happened in the few minutes that passed between her catching her friends spying on her and the time they'd made it out of the restaurant. Had April said something to make Rachel uncomfortable? April had admitted that Rae wasn't thrilled with her plan, so maybe she was upset that her own plan wasn't the one that was put into play. God knows that it wouldn't be the first time that Rachel threw a fit because she hadn't gotten her way, though the last time she'd seen an appearance of her diva tantrums they had just finished high school. Now she had managers and agents who threw fits for her.

And anyway, that theory didn't really hold water seeing as the two women were now sitting next to each other, talking about the different members of their Glee club. So what did that leave? Quinn played back the last few minutes as she stared out the window as Los Angeles sped passed. Was it the fact that Rachel had been right about the date and Quinn hadn't apologized? Quinn threw the idea around. That theory was a possibility when it came to Rachel, but it seemed more than that. If that were the case, Rachel would just seem a little pissed, Quinn would be able to crack a joke, and they'd be okay. But she hadn't seemed mad, she seemed… lost. That was the only word that came to mind at the look Rachel had in her eyes when she'd finally made eye contact with the blonde. But the question was… why?

Quinn excused herself to go change into something comfortable as soon as they walked in the house, leaving Rachel to play host to their cast mate.

"Have you been to Quinn's place before?"

April shook her head. "You mean this isn't your place, too?" She looked around the quaint living room, honestly surprised by the number of books that lined the walls.

"Well, no. Yes. Kind of. Quinn asked me last week to move in with her while I'm staying in the area."

"Man, and I thought lesbians moved fast. Already u-hauling it and you two haven't even had your first date."

"If you're referring to the colloquialism used to describe lesbians moving in together after the second date, then you are off base. She wouldn't want to date me. Quinn and I are just friends. Best friends, but just friends." Rachel hesitated as she thought of Santana, "Though one of our good friends did say something similar when I told her I'd be living here."

"Sounds like me and this friend would get along great." April said as she made herself at home in Quinn's favorite chair.

Rachel cocked her head to the side in thought as she sat down on the couch. "Either the two of you would get along great, or you'd absolutely hate each other. I haven't decided which yet."

April looked over her shoulder towards the hall that led to the bedrooms. Seeing the coast was clear, she looked back at the little diva. "So what _is_ the story with you and Blondie?"

"What do you mean?"

"You guys live together. You hang out all the time. You have 'platonic' dates. And your friends tease you about being together?"

"When you put it that way." Rachel laughed. "No, really though that's just Santana being Santana. She's made comments like that even before Quinn and I became friends."

"Before you became friends? You mean you weren't always like this?"

"Oh, god, no." Rachel shook her head, adamantly, and smiled. "She tormented me for a good portion of high school."

"And that made this Santana think? What? That Quinn had some underlying feelings about you?"

"Well," Rachel thought about it, but wasn't sure if she wanted to be _that_ honest with April yet. She reminded her a little too much of Santana to completely trust the fiery redhead. Honestly, Santana's reasoning could have been anything from being a bitch to Quinn's semi-pornographic pictures she would draw in the woman's bathroom. "I couldn't tell you how many inappropriate, 'wanky' things that woman has said over the years."

"Wanky?"

"It's a Santana thing." The two women jumped as Quinn answered the question. "Any time anyone would say anything remotely sexual, she'd yell out wanky. It got to be so bad in high school that I would have dreams with her yelling it in the middle of the night."

"No, that was actually Santana. She programmed her Google Talk number into your phone and set her ringtone to her saying wanky so she could call you in the middle of the night to annoy you." When Quinn just stared at her she shrugged. "She did it during one of the glee parties."

Quinn blinked slowly as she processed that information. She shook her head and sighed. Really, she should have seen that. "And that's Santana, my best friend." Quinn laughed as she leaned against the back of the couch and tossed the things in her hands at April.

"Sleepwear and a DVD of every glee performance with the original twelve members ala one Rachel Berry. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Wait, what?" April asked, jumping from the couch.

"I'm going to bed. I have to be on set early."

"Like hell you are. We had a deal."

"And I fulfilled my deal. The beer," Quinn pointed at the bags of beer sitting next to the couch, "the DVD," she pointed to April's hands, "and the money for pizza is on the small table in the entryway."

"Oh, no. You can come sit your happy ass down because you are watching it with us."

"Nope, that wasn't part of the deal. Plus, I'm sure Rae would be more than willing to watch it with you. Glee was her baby after all." Quinn spun around again and began to head back to her room.

Rachel swallowed hard. It was her baby, but she wasn't the only reason Glee had kept going for as long as it had. "Quinn?" Rachel's soft voice stopped Quinn in her tracks. She looked over her shoulder to find rapidly filling brown eyes. "I –I don't know if I can." Rachel's voice broke over the words.

Quinn sighed. She should have saw this coming. She turned and quickly made her way around the couch, lowering herself to the coffee table in from of Rachel. "Why not Rachel?"

Rachel shook her head and looked down. Why did it still hurt so much? "I haven't… since... you weren't there Quinn, at his memorial. You… you don't know how hard it was."

Quinn kicked herself, both for not realizing, or thinking about, what watching old Glee performances would mean for Rachel and for not being there. She hated that she wasn't there for Rachel while she was handling Finn's death, but they weren't close at the time, and she had her own emotions to work through. It was just too much. Of course, it would be hard. For either of them to watch. Finn had been such a big part of their youth and his passing had affected them all.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there for him, for you." Quinn cupped Rachel's cheek in one hand and wiped the lone tear that fell from her eye. "I just... I couldn't. It wasn't fair to anyone else, I know that but I was finally getting on my feet after everything and I just..." Quinn sighed as she saw April leave the room from the corner of her eye but kept her gaze trained on her upset friend. "Is he why you can't watch them?"

"I… I haven't been able to watch any of our performances since." Rachel admitted softly. It had killed her to. Finn and her may have gone their own separate ways but he had been a huge part of her life for so long. She missed him, his friendship, his cocky, crooked smile.

Quinn moved to the couch and pulled Rachel into her arms. "I used to. I would be missing everyone while at Yale, and I'd pull out the DVD and I'd listen to you sing, watch Brittany and Mike dance. Laugh at Finn's constipation face." Quinn smiled as Rachel chuckled and slapped at her waist. "I miss him too, Rae, but it was good, watching us back then. I cried the first few times, and after a while, it got easier. I remembered all the craziness that we went through, and how hard it was back then, and I'd realize how far we've all came since then. I mean look at us, Rae." She smiled as Rachel melted into her side just a little bit more. "We've came so far and I can't help but believe that Finn is out there right now, watching over us, smiling when we get things right and kicking chairs when we do something stupid." Rachel's full body laugh made Quinn feel lighter.

Rachel sat up and wiped her eyes before she gave Quinn a peck on her cheek. "Thank you, Quinn."

"Always." Quinn stood as the doorbell rang. She stopped and looked down at Rachel. "Go get into some pj's and we'll watch together. We'll laugh at how stupid we all were, and when you feel the need to cry, I have two good shoulders you can use."

Rachel swallowed around the lump in her throat as she watched Quinn glide away, feeling a warmth radiating from her chest. She was so lucky to have a friend like Quinn in her life and she couldn't help but wonder how different high school would had been able to push all the boyfriend and popularity crap out of the way. As much as it would have been better for her, she wouldn't change any of it. It brought them here and made them who they were. And she was pretty happy with here and now.


	4. Death and Kisses

**Apparently, it's impossible to sleep when it's so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face and so quiet the only thing you can hear is your own breathing. A six-hour power outage in subzero temperatures put a huge dent in my writing time yesterday but I promised an update today.**

* * *

Quinn stared at the script, dumbfounded. Rachel had already successfully completed two episodes of _Steel _and the show had already extended her for two more episodes. Quinn would be the first to admit Rachel was amazing. She snorted to herself. Of course she was amazing, she's Rachel Berry. Quinn found herself wondering if she'd ever stop being astounded by Rachel's talent. She honestly didn't think she ever would.

But that was what left her so flabbergasted at the direction the writers and producers had decided to take this arc.

"So, this is a little unexpected." Rachel admitted as they read through their scripts together, sitting across from one another on their couch.

Rachel had officially moved in two weeks ago, after they had rescued Quinn from her disaster of a date. The night of crying and laughing over Glee had released a few more demons they both had hung on to. They'd spent the next week talking, more than usual, which was hard to believe since Quinn and her often found themselves in some type of discussion with the other -be it about their day, or politics, or the newest movies coming out. They'd spent a full weekend shopping for things that would make the house more of a mesh of both of their personalities. Rachel shifted in her seat and looked around the room that was once completely Quinn. It was now filled with little touches of the diva as well, bringing a warmth and comfort to the room she hadn't expected. Pictures of both of their friends and family covered one wall, interspersed with playbills, awards, and diplomas both women had received over the years. She realized that it felt more like home than New York had in a long time and she loved that Quinn had went out of her way to make her feel at home here.

Rachel sighed as she looked back at the script in her hand, unable to stop thinking about the changes it could mean for them in the coming few weeks. She was sure everything would change, and as much as she tried to keep an optimistic look at life, she wasn't sure the change would be good. If anything, it would be a bit heart breaking, she was sure.

"You didn't know about this then?" Quinn asked, still staring at the script propped up on her knees. She kept re-reading, wondering if she had lost her mind. After the tenth time reading the page in front of her she was convinced that it wasn't her, but her bosses that had gone insane. She threw the script on the coffee table in disgust.

"No, no, I did. In general terms. I mean, I knew it was a possibility. It was one of a few that had been tossed around when I first signed on. It's just… seeing it on paper is much different."

"I was wondering how they were going to pull this off."

"So you knew?" Rachel asked, honestly astonished. "You're okay with it?"

Quinn shifted uncomfortably under Rachel's scrutiny, still unable to meet her gaze. "I didn't know it was going to go down like this, no. And I'm not sure if I'm okay with it, honestly. I mean, my character has had a few romantic interest over the last few seasons, but this… this may break her."

Rachel hummed. She wasn't sure how she felt about it either. "I… I don't even know what I'm feeling at the moment."

"I thought you'd be upset."

Rachel rose from the couch and threw her script next to Quinn's, almost knocking over their empty wine glasses. "Well, of course I'm upset, Quinn! They're killing off my character! When they extended my contract, I thought that meant I would be a semi-reoccurring character –a character whom I might add had great chemistry with the cast! How could they kill me off? I've NEVER been killed off before!"

Quinn chuckled, finally lifting her eyes from their scripts.

"Don't laugh." Rachel huffed as she flung herself back on the couch dramatically.

Quinn just smiled and shook her head; everything about Rae was dramatic. Quinn swung her legs to the floor as she reached for the wine bottle that was sitting next to the couch. She leaned back, taking a swig straight from the bottle, before passing it to the woman seated next to her.

Rachel hugged the bottle to her chest and leaned her cheek against the back of the couch, looking over at her friend. She loved moments like these, just sitting and enjoying each other's company, even if it meant bonding over her character's up and coming death scene. She knew not many people got to see Quinn like this, relaxed, completely scrubbed clean of make up, walls down. She was reminded once again of just how breathtaking Quinn really was. Rachel knew she should stop staring, but she was loath to move her eyes away.

"I'm going to miss working with you." Rachel admitted softly.

The last three weeks of filming together had been amazing. She'd caught herself more than once just watching Quinn when she wasn't required to be on the soundstage herself. She loved watching Quinn in her element. Rachel really had a lot of chemistry with the rest of the cast, but the sparks that flew between Quinn and her on-screen blew her mind. She'd worked with many actors and actresses over the years, and never had she felt such an easy connection as she had with Quinn. More than once they had gone off script but they played off each other so well, feeding each other lines, that it was rare for the director to call cut.

Quinn took the bottle and sat it next to their scripts and scooted closer, pulling Rachel into her embrace. "You're still living here. We'll still see each other."

The smaller woman smiled in contentment and laid her head on Quinn's shoulder. Rachel looked up, getting lost in sparkling hazel eyes, slightly glazed over from their shared bottle of wine. "It's not the same."

Quinn took a deep breath, her lips curling up into a smile at the smell that was so distinctly Rachel. Quinn hugged the diva closer, content to just hold the smaller woman. "I know. Let's just make the next two episodes so awesome that they reconsider." 

* * *

Detective Elle Riya leaned against the front of her desk and eyed the woman across from her. She still couldn't believe her and her partner had the bad luck to get assigned to guard Senator Maureen Tallann's daughter while threats came against the Senator and her family, but they'd been asked for specifically.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" Carmina Tallann smirked at the hot detective. "See something you like?" She joked, her words coated with thinly veiled disdain. She hated feeling like she was being babysat, and in a precinct none the less.

"I've seen better." The detective shrugged. "Then again, I've seen worse."

Carmina rolled her eyes. "Right, like you don't want to get with all this."

Detective Riya grinned to herself. She knew the woman hated her, hated being here, and hated that the Detective could get under her skin. And man, did she ever love getting under her skin. She smirked and decided to call the woman's bluff, her grin growing as the feisty brunette gasped as the Detective stepped into her personal space "Maybe I do."

Carmina looked into the blonde woman's green eyes and smiled. She just figured out how she was going to get through this stint of protection detail. "Maybe you should." Carmina ran her finger over Elle's collarbone. "You know, Detective, I wanna thank you…"

Ella shrugged a shoulder. "I was just doing my job"

"Right. Well, I just wanna know... if I can buy you dinner."

"That'd be terrific."

Carmina smiled as she trailed lower, sliding between the top two, undone buttons on the detective's shirt. "Great. You get off in, like, a half hour?"

The detective snorted and took a step back. Leaning against her desk, she crossed her arms and shook her head. "Oh, no. Here, I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But, to sit and eat... with you, that's... that's just... that's crazy talk! I have half a mind to issue you a drug test. I mean, come on…"

"Well, I could think of other ways of thanking you."

The Detective sat up a little bit straighter, sure she was being played, but interested none the less. "Now, you have me listening."

Carmina did a quick look around. The squad room was mostly empty, Riya's partner had her head deep in a file a few desks away, but other than that, the immediate area was vacant. She smiled evilly as she stepped forward and rose to her tiptoes, pulling the cocky Detective closer by the lapels of her jacket. Her lips lightly brushed against the woman's and she couldn't help but sigh int the contact. Carmina was thrown off-balance as the taller woman stepped into her, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss. Carmina's hands quickly reached up to run through impossibly soft hair. Their kiss seemed to last forever, though she was sure it had only been mere seconds. The older woman pulled away, staring at her with a cocked eyebrow. Carmina returned the beautiful detective's gaze, willing her brain to kick-start. Instantly, a smile spread across her lips and a deep belly laugh ripped from her throat.

"Damn you, Quinn!" Rachel slapped her hand against the woman's arm. "You aren't supposed to be _that_ damn good at that!" She heard the cast and crew around them chuckle. "I completely forgot my lines. I _never_ forget my lines!"

Quinn laughed at the shocked look that still filled her best friend's face and buffed her nails against her jacket. "Oh yeah, still got it!"

"Shut up."

"I mean, I know I'm good, but when you have Finn and St. James to compare me to, I'm a god." Quinn laughed.

"I see you didn't add Puck on that list."

"Meh, Puck was a pretty good kisser. B was better."

"You kissed Britt?" Rachel asked as she leaned against the desk behind her, mirroring Quinn's position. She'd forgot all about them being on set, surrounded by Quinn's cast mates, extras, and production crew. She hadn't even noticed that the director never called cut after her flub.

"Britt kissed everyone in school." Quinn shrugged, stating a well-known fact. "Really, after all that practice, I don't think there is anyone who could top our little dancer."

She watched Rachel tilt her head from side to side before she nodded in agreement. Quinn raised an eyebrow before she snickered. Of course Rachel and B had kissed. Like she said, Britt made a point of kissing everyone in school.

"So wait, you both have kissed how many of the same people?" April asked as she joined Quinn on her desk.

"More than a few." Quinn laughed. "You mean we didn't tell you? God, we used to fight over boys like they were going out of style."

"Don't remind me." Rachel groaned.

"Rachel stole my boyfriend in high school."

"I'm pretty sure you returned the favor."

"Then there was Puck."

"Your ex?" April inquired.

"Both of ours, but more mine than Rachel's. She just had a thing with him."

"That lasted like a day. Apparently, two hot Jews, is just too much." Rachel laughed.

"Ok, so who else?" She loved getting to see this side of them, free and open.

"Brittany, the blonde dancer from the DVD? She's one of our best friends. If you wanted to graduate, you had to first make out with B. It was an unwritten school policy."

"And Santana."

Quinn's jaw dropped; she was glad she was sitting down for that bit of news. "You and S kissed?" She asked incredulously.

"God, don't make it sound like it's a horrible thing."

Quinn quickly shook her head. "No, it's not like that. It's just…. Santana." She said, as if that explained everything.

"Yes, well, it wasn't something planned. Tana was drunk, sad about Brittany, and unsure about Dani, and well, she kissed me."

"I guess that makes sense."

April smiled. It seemed like her partner might be just a bit jealous over the fact that Rachel had kissed both of their best friends and not her. The stage kiss totally didn't count. She wondered if she could use that fact and push the stubborn woman into seeing what was literally right in front of her.

"Now I feel a little left out." April pouted expertly. "You kissed all your best friends but me."

Quinn snorted. "Who said you're her best friend?"

"Fine, maybe not best friend, but still, am I not a good enough friend to kiss?"

"She's not going to kiss you. Who said she even likes kissing women?" Quinn argued, getting more and more irritated with the woman sitting next to her.

"Actually…." Rachel interrupted, "I rather kiss a woman than a guy more often than not. They're just…" Rachel sighed softly, unable to stop thinking about the kiss she'd experienced just a few minutes before, "It's like comparing cotton to iron. They're not all hard edges and slobbery kisses and groping hands. They're soft, and gentle, and god, so passionate. It just radiates from them. They have curves in all the right places and they just know how to move, how to caress." Rachel's voice trailed off and she blushed, realizing she was still in a room full of their peers and co-workers.

"Damn, she makes me almost want to switch teams." April admitted as she watched the dazed look on the little diva's face as she dreamily described kissing a woman.

Quinn felt her face warm as she recalled the feeling of Rachel in her arms as she kissed her. Sure, it'd been a stage kiss, nowhere near as nice as a real one would be, but she knew just what Rachel was describing and she couldn't stop her brain from imagining just what a real kiss with the smaller woman would be like.


	5. Mourning and Costumes

**I was really hoping to get this out yesterday but I couldn't stop writing, so it's a rather long chapter ~6,000 words. This chapter does get a bit more serious, but not in an angsty way. Thanks for all the favorites, follows and to those of you who have so awesomely left one of the few reviews I've gotten :) And to my Xenite reviewer –come off guest so I can PM to tell you how much that review rocked!**

Quinn hated today, hated what it meant, hated that she hated it so much. And even though it hadn't been real, watching Rachel die over and over, take after take, for two days, had sucked. Royally. Many of the tears her character had shed had been indistinguishable from her own. The more Quinn thought about it, the worse she got. It was just a show, and they were just acting, and at the end of the each take, she would breathe a sigh of relief when chocolate-brown eyes would spring open, and Rachel would stare up from where she laid in Quinn's arms and give her a small smile. It still didn't stop the thoughts that bombarded her between each take, but it kept her from completely losing it all together. She just couldn't imagine a world without her best friend in it and even pretending to do so broke her heart to just think about. Quinn wondered what it would mean in the long run. If her best friend fictionally dying could reduce her to a sobbing mess, she couldn't help but worry what that would mean for her when Rachel had finally wrapped up her guest spots and films and decided it was time to head back to the lights of Broadway. She was afraid it would break her, worse than she'd been broken in a long time. And she really, really didn't want to think about Rachel leaving.

So when a few of the cast members had suggested going out together to celebrate Rachel's last day on set, she was more than willing. A few drinks, time with Rachel, and their cast mates sounded like just what she needed. Though they hadn't talked about it, she knew Rachel could tell how hard the scenes had hit her. Before they had left, Rachel had stepped into her trailer and wordlessly wrapped her arms around Quinn, resting her head on her shoulder. They spent countless minutes in each other's arms, just embracing, before walking hand in hand to meet their friends.

The large group quickly took over a corner of their favorite local bar and grill, moving tables together, ordering an obscene amount of food, wine, and liquor. All in all, the mood was light and jovial, conversation flowing around them. Quinn quietly watched her diva enjoy herself, laughing with her colleagues, occasionally smiling over at Quinn. Rachel knew that something was going on in that pretty blonde head, but she also knew that Quinn would tell her when she was ready. It reassured her every time she looked over to find two hazel eyes already on her. She'd raise an eyebrow, silently asking if everything was okay, and she'd get a small nod. Rachel felt better when she reached over and threaded her fingers with Quinn's long, tapered ones. She just needed the contact, and had a feeling that Quinn did as well. Quinn's eyes widened in shock and Rachel turned to follow her line of sight, stunned to see their feisty, buzzed, redhead friend standing on a chair, tapping the side of her wine glass. Rachel hissed at her friend to get down as immediate area of the bar and grill quieted down.

April shook her head at the tiny brunette and grinned at the cast and crew that had joined them.

"Thank you, losers!" April smirked, talking loudly over the noise coming from the rest of the room. "We are gathered here tonight to celebrate –errr mourn –the passing of the aptly named Carmina Tallman. Because our writers love metaphors almost as much as the famous Rachel Berry does, and Carmina Tallman roughly translates from some weird Gaelic/Latin mash to mean talented singer. And damn if she wasn't talented, even if the only place she was singing to the heavens was from our very own Detective Ella Riya's bed." April waited until the tittering chuckles died down, loving the deep blush that quickly filled both women's cheeks, before moving on with her impassioned speech.

"We are here to give thanks for the life of Carmina, and the experiences that we shared. Rachel has blessed up and kept us entertained with her singing chops, her amazing acting skills, and her need to repeatedly retake each and every kissing scene, because the previous eighteen takes weren't 'just right'." April smiled and blew the diva a kiss.

"And so, we come together to wish her well now that our time together is over. For Carmina and Rachel, the journey is beginning, but for us, there is loss, grief and pain. We may laugh, or cry, or drink ourselves into a stupor, but we will carry on. _Steel _bends but it doesn't break." The table broke out in shouts of agreement, everything from a well-timed "Hell yeah!" To "Sing it preacher!" echoed around the table.

"Every one of us here has had our life touched –some more physically than others, (cough, cough Ella) by Carmina's existence. Otherwise, we would not be here to gorge ourselves on food, friendship, and spirits." April smiled as she watched Quinn hug Rachel from behind. She loved their dynamic, both on and off-screen. If they'd only allow themselves to take that small step that their character had, they might just find the kind of love that Hollywood only wished they could emulate on-screen. They needed to be together and she was going to make it her mission to make sure it happened. Because both of her friends needed it to happen. The way Rachel unconsciously leaned back into Quinn's arms, the way both smiled just a little bit wider, was all the proof she needed.

April shook her head and refocused on her speech. "All jokes aside, Rachel, it has been a pleasure to work with you. We could not have asked for a better guest to appear on our humble show. So raise your glasses, losers, to true talent, a true star. To Rachel, may you reach the heavens and beyond."

Rachel felt her eyes stinging with tears and snuggled into her best friend's side as Quinn lifted her glass with a "hear here." Rachel gave April a watery smile and stood up to hug her, surprised when she was slowly passed from person to person around the table, each wishing her luck and telling her what an honor it had been to work with her. She was seriously overwhelmed by it all. When she jumped on a plane almost five months before, she could have never suspected things would play out the way they had. She'd become closer than she ever thought possible to Quinn. She'd made strong connections with some amazingly talented and funny actors. Somehow she had gained a true friend out of the snarky, over the top, redhead with very little verbal filter. It was all more than she could have hoped for and she just needed to get away and let it all process.

"Is it bad that I just want to go home, curl up with you, and a carton of vegan rocky road?" Rachel whispered on to Quinn's shoulder when she had finally made it back around the table. She smiled as she felt Quinn's arms tighten around her for a moment.

"If that's what you want, then that is what you'll get." Quinn stated before standing and polishing off the last of the. She hadn't realized until she stood up that she had more to drink than she originally thought and would have fallen over if not for two small, but deceptively strong, arms that wrapped around her waist.

Still holding on to Quinn she turned to the group. "I wanted to thank you all for a lovely evening and a great few weeks of filming together. You all have made this a very enjoyable and enlightening experience. Please be well and if any of you have driven here tonight, I implore you to find an alternative way home. I have grown fond of you all and wish only for you health, happiness and safety. Now, I must get this one home to bed before she falls asleep standing up." Rachel gave a small wave and directed her somewhat drunk friend towards the door.

"Hey Beatrice!" Rachel turned her head back towards April, knowing she was referring to Shakespeare's overly dramatic character. As she watched April smirk, her eyes flickering to the blonde hanging off her, Rachel was certain that the woman was going to make another reference about the nature of her relationship with Quinn. Honestly, as annoying as April could be about it, it wasn't anything Quinn and her hadn't heard since high school. Yet, for reasons Rachel rather not think about, more and more often, the commits seemed to be hitting closer to home. It was one of those things that she forcefully pushed to the back of her mind to deal with another day. Though it easier said than done when you had a friend who constantly brought up the subject you were ignoring. Or when the subject you were ignoring was a beautiful blonde was currently nuzzling your neck.

Rachel raised an eyebrow at the redhead, waiting for her snide comment. She was surprised when she watched April's eyes soften. "Take care of her."

Rachel nodded in response, and though she knew there was no way April would hear her, she whispered what she knew would be true for as long as Quinn let her. "Always."

* * *

"You've ruined it." Rachel looked up sharply from the script in her lap as Quinn stormed into their condo, obviously upset.

The force of Quinn's glare as her friend took Rachel aback as she watched her friend pace up and down the living room. "I'm sorry, what did I ruin?"

Quinn watched the small frown between Rachel's eyes and longed to lean over and kiss it away. _Wait. What?_ Quinn shook her head wondering where that thought had come from and began pacing again It's not like she needed that on top of everything else.

Rachel watched as Quinn came to a dead stop, before she began pacing again, and fought her instinct to jump in front of the angry woman, forcing her to cease her insistent movement.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked softly, not wanting to upset her friend anymore.

Quinn shook her head at herself. As much as she wanted to lash out, she knew it wasn't Rachel's fault. Not really. And she really had grown out that habit a long time ago, or she thought she had. She could still feel the need to snap at Rachel and find a way to make it her fault, a habit she had created through years of putting Rachel in her place in the meanest and cruelest ways possible as a way to cover up her feelings, her hurts and pains. She didn't want to do that anymore and had promised herself years ago that she would never purposely hurt Rachel like that again. When that realization hit her she sighed and dropped herself next to her best friend on the couch. She sat there for less than a second before twisting her body, forcing her head between the small space between Rachel's lap and the script she still held in her hand.

Rachel looked down, surprised. Not that they hadn't been in this position before. Often when they stayed home for their movie nights, she'd end up with Quinn's head on her lap, unconsciously running her fingers through her blonde hair. Or Rachel's feet would be propped on Quinn's thighs, her strong fingers digging into the tender flesh. No, she was surprised by the vulnerability and sadness that filled Quinn's eyes as she stared into them. Rachel sighed as she sat down her script on the arm of the couch and began running her fingers through Quinn's soft, blonde hair.

"What did I ruin, Quinn?"

"_Steel._ You ruined my show." Quinn whined.

Rachel looked down at the blonde in her lap, completely confused and flabbergasted. "Quinn! How dare you infer that I may have done such a thing!? If anything my presence on you show improved it!" Rachel couldn't keep the hurt and anger out of her voice, half tempted to throw the woman off her lap and onto the floor.

"Rachel." Quinn knew when she softly used her full name she'd have her attention. Once upon a time, even that name was a treat; but now, unless they were in public, she was Quinn's Rae. Her bright, shiny, starlight. She hadn't meant it the way it came out, but honestly it was the truth –Rae had ruined the show, for her. "That's what I mean, Rae." She said softly. "I got so used to you being there and making everything better and now I miss having you around."

Even though Quinn was a lot more open with her feelings than she had been in high school, Rachel knew that she still struggled with being completely open. For Quinn to admit something more than a quick, "Hey, I miss you, dork" over the six years they had been on opposite sides of the country, was still rare. Rachel sighed and let her body relax back into the couch. Quinn's words soothed over the confusion but not the pain in her chest. She hadn't realized how much she would miss getting to see Quinn on set every day, getting to sit next to her in make up, breaking out into song together any time anyone said anything remotely close to a song lyric. She continued to run her fingers through Quinn's hair, gently scraping her nails against her scalp, something she'd found out a long time ago relaxed her best friend.

"I know. I've missed you too. This week has been tediously long and boring compared to getting to hang out with April, you, and even Thomas." Quinn snorted. She just couldn't imagine what Rachel saw in the young actor Thomas, but she knew that Rachel would befriend almost anyone. "At least you get to continue to do a bit of comedy on the show, even if you are filming my funeral. I'm stuck doing this beautifully written, but horribly dry, political drama."

Quinn watched her friend concentrate on playing with her hair and sighed in contentment, glad Rachel didn't seem as upset and hurt as she was worried she might still be. And she missed her too. Quinn smiled lazily, "If it's such a dry drama, why did you say yes to it?"

"Tina sent me a handful of scripts when I first got here and at the time this one seemed the most promising for an Emmy nod." Rachel shrugged. "I had actually signed on to do that show before _Steel _so I was contractually obligated to do the filming. Don't get me wrong, the show is great. It's just… the lead isn't you. And the show isn't _Steel._

I may have ruined _Steel_ for you, but you all ruined every other show for me."

"I can't apologize for that. I loved acting with you." Quinn leaned her head closer to the warmth of Rachel's stomach, soaking up the woman's comforting touch. "How did you being on _Steel_ come to be anyway? You never did tell me."

Rachel looked down and the blonde and smiled. "It's totally your fault you know. That I ruined your show. If I hadn't been coming to set to have dinner with you, Shana never would have stopped me to ask if I'd want to come play around on set with you. Her exact words, by the way."

Quinn nodded and let her eyes drift close under Rachel's ministrations. "Sounds like the boss lady. Speaking of dinners, we need to start our schedule back up now that we're not forced together every day."

Rachel's hand stilled in Quinn's hair. "Quinn, no one would ever have to force me to spend time with you. I love being near you." Rachel admitted quietly.

Quinn's eyes slowly drifted open, finding herself pinned beneath Rachel's brown eyes. She always felt like Rachel could see into her soul, beneath all the pain and anger that made up much of who she was when she was younger; beneath her mask and walls now. She had a way of slipping beneath all of Quinn's defenses. It would have been just as terrifying as it was in high school if it wasn't completely comforting at the same time. She couldn't help but feel completely content, maybe even happy in this moment. She wasn't the same scared, lonely girl that she was in high school and neither was Rae. Part of her wished she could travel back and time just to show the younger versions of themselves what a friendship with each other could be like, what they could come to mean to one another. Maybe if she hadn't been so damn stubborn back then, then they would have had this type of relationship much sooner. God knows how many times Rae tried to befriend her, yet she always kept her at arm's length. It terrified her because she felt like she honestly couldn't hide herself from Rae, she was open book and the only one who could read her perfectly, who took the time to learn how, was the one she had fought so hard against. A part of her knew that if anyone could break down each and every one of her walls, it would be the woman staring down with her with something akin to adoration swimming in her eyes.

All she knew is that staring into Rachel's eyes made her breathe easier for a moment, even as her heart raced and her hands began to itch with the need to touch Rachel, to run her hands through her hair, told lift herself up holding on Rachel's neck, to bring their lips together. Quinn stopped herself. Maybe that was why she was so scared of letting Rae in completely for so long, those feelings that always seemed to skirt the edge of her consciousness. The thoughts that filtered through her mind as she slept. Her dreams were always so sweet and vivid that it pained her to wake up and find they weren't true. She remembered how she felt when she watched Rachel take stage, loving the passion she put into everything she did. How Rachel's voice made her feel like she could float off towards the heavens and be perfectly fine with her feet never touching the ground. Rachel was the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced. She was her best friend; the person who both at once kept grounded, and made her want to fly.

"Hey princess, where did you go?" Rachel's soft voice and her even softer fingers running over Quinn's eyebrow broke her from her train of thoughts.

Quinn minutely shook her head and smiled. "Do you know what we need?"

"Hmmm… I can't think of anything I need at this moment, but I am sure you'll supply me with the answer if I ask nicely enough." Quinn's hazel eyes twinkled up at her in amusement. "Quinn, will you please inform me of what we need?"

Quinn sat up and bounced in her seat. "We need a night out! No missing each other; no tedious, boring political dramas; no trying to be funny when attending a fake funeral. Just you, me, hundreds of screaming fans and flashing bulbs."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at Quinn's enthusiasm. "It sounds like you have something specific in mind?"

"Mmhmm. My publicist called me a few weeks ago. Warner Bro. wanted me to come to one of their premiers. At the time I said no because I thought we'd be shooting tonight, but with the rewrites due to your character's extended stay, we wont be shooting those scenes for another week or so."

"What time does it start?" Rachel asked as she picked up the phone next to her to check the time. Depending on the location, the movie, and the studio releasing it, premiers could start as early as 2pm or as late as 10.

"We have to be on the carpet at 6."

"Quinn, that isn't nearly enough time!" Rachel shrieked.

"Rachel, it's three hours away. That's plenty of time."

"Not when I have to call my stylist, find a dress, find a matching…." She felt Quinn's warm hand cover her mouth as the blonde stifled a giggle.

"Rae, calm down. First off, you don't need to go over the top, it's not that kind of premier. Well it is but… we'll you'll see. Second, I have everything already taken care of. Our outfits are in the back of my closet. I've already called Tina to make sure everyone knows you'll be there as well. PR and all that jazz. She assured me that she'd have Wade here with plenty of time to spare, and he will be bringing you that vegetarian lasagna that you said was as close to your daddy's as you'd ever tasted." Rachel smiled behind the hand that still covered her mouth. "Eww, Rae! Was that necessary!"

Quinn pulled her hand away and wiped Rachel's slobber on her own leg. "You can have that back. Now come on, we only have two hours to make you look magical."

Quinn offered her the same hand that Rachel had just licked, excitedly pulling her towards her room. She couldn't wait!

She sat Rachel at the vanity in her walk-in closet and spun around, walking towards a set of drawers in the corner. "So now, you have a choice." She looked over her shoulder at Rachel with a smirk.

Rachel swallowed hard, being momentarily transported back to high school. She would have been afraid of the look in Quinn's eye if the girl didn't look like she was a twelve-year-old hyped up on caffeine and sugar at the moment. "Okay, what are my choices?"

"Costume or hat?" Quinn cocked her head to the side and smiled as she began to rummage through one of the drawers.

"I… uh… I'm not quite sure how to answer that. I will admit I am just a little confused."

"Just answer the question, Berry. Hat. Or costume."

"Right, well, then I guess, since I am most comfortable on stage, and am adept at wearing costumes, since I have done so for dance and theater most of my life; and seeing as how it is difficult for me to convincingly pull off a hat that I am unsure of what it looks like, I will choose costume." Rachel ended her soliloquy with a nod to herself, hoping she'd chosen correctly.

"Yes!" Quinn pumped her fist in the air. "I was hoping you'd say that."

She smiled at Quinn's enthusiasm as she watched as Quinn quickly moved through her closet. "I need you to run to your room and grab that white button up, the one that made you look like a hot nun, not the you stole from Ms. Pillsbury." Rachel would have been mildly offended if she weren't somewhat curious about what her friend was up to.

"Oh and that yellow LL Bean cardigan if you still have it hanging around from high school." Quinn yelled after her.

A few minutes later Rachel joined Quinn back at her room, and glared down at the object on the bed. "I'll have you know that I grew out of wearing plaid and argyle shortly after high school, Quinn. A fact I know that you are more than aware of."

"Yes, and thank god for that, because honestly, I don't know if I could have lived with you if you still dressed like that. I would have had to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers just to be around you on a daily basis."

"Thank you for that." Rachel replied sarcastically as she looked down at the black and gold plaid skirt, golden tie, and dark bunch of material that was laid out on Quinn's bed.

"Quinn, what exactly is this premier for?"

Quinn smiled as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "Oh, I didn't tell you?" She asked as she batted her eyes, innocently.

"You know full and well you did not, Quinn. Now, I am asking you nicely, before I go and make an utter fool of myself, and am reduced to having nightmares about being slushied again after all this time, why am I putting on these clothes?" She watched as Quinn physically deflate onto the bed next to the outfit, losing the excitement that had filled her for the past half hour. Rachel wanted to kick her self, she should have just trusted Quinn and went along with whatever she had planned. In truth, she _did_ trust Quinn and she knew nothing like that would ever happen again. For one, they were no longer in high school, where there was a ready supply of sticky, dyed corn syrup. And for two, even before they became friends, Quinn had stopped bullying her in such a manner. It was just habits, or in this case, hurts, died hard.

"I'm sorry, Rae. I didn't think. I was just so excited and I know I'm a huge geek sometimes and I just didn't think what wearing something like this would mean, or that it would bring up any hard feelings. I just…"

Rachel sank down next to her best friend and pulled her hand between both of hers on her lap. "Quinn, I believe that you didn't mean anything by it, but I still need to know. Take a deep breath, relax a moment, and then tell me where I'm going and what this costume is."

"Right, tonight is the premier of Potterverse's _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. I just figured it'd be a way to dress up, let loose, and have a bit of fun. I really didn't mean anything bad with the skirt. I just… I knew from past experience it would look amazing on you." Quinn shrugged the shoulder closest to Rachel. "I may not have liked the argyle, or the animal print everything, but you always found a way to make them work for you."

Rachel blushed and smiled, squeezing the hand still in between both of hers. "I did what I could." Rachel joked horribly, hoping to ease some of the tension that had settled around them. "So, I'm going as…"

"Well Newt Scamander, the wizard who supposedly wrote _Fantastic Beast_ was a Hufflepuff so I figured you could dress up as a Hogwarts student from his house." Quinn's excitement started seeping back into her voice.

"Okay, that would make sense, and be acceptable. I do remember their uniforms being somewhat similar to my previous choice of dress. If you think I can pull it off, then who am I to argue? But that does beg the question, what exactly are you going as?"

Quinn beamed as she jumped up and ran to her closet. "Don't move!"

When she emerged from the closet a few minutes later, Rachel's eyes widened. "Quinn, what exactly is that on your head?"

Quinn danced in place. "Come on Rae, haven't you seen or read any of the Harry Potter books or movies?"

"Yes, but it has been a long time since Finn made me sit through them."

"Oh, that's it, you need a Harry Potter intervention. They're classics that must be watched on a yearly basis at the very minimum. If I have to sit through Barbra and Liza movies, you can sit through JK Rowling with me."

"Quinn. Hat?"

Quinn sighed and let her shoulders slump, pinching one of the strands that fell on her shoulder, making her hat roar. "It's Luna Lovegood's lion hat. I'm Lion!Luna." She said in a defeated voice.

Rachel stood up and crossed the few feet that separated them and adjusted the stuffed hat so it sat properly on Quinn's head and bopped her nose with the tip of her finger. "Well, I think Lion!Quinn looks very cute." Rachel couldn't help the way her heart skipped a beat at the goofy smile her best friend gave her.

"Now, if you excuse me, I must go get ready. As beautiful as I naturally am, it's going to take more than a few minutes to make me look magical, as you so eloquently put it. Be sure to see Wade in when he arrives. Knowing him, he brought enough food to feed an army, so make sure you insist he sit with us for dinner." Quinn's smile grew impossibly wider.

Before she knew it, they were being ushered out of their town car and onto the chaos of the red carpet. Fans and actors alike were dressed in their favorite Harry Potter gear. It made Quinn feel like a kid again, one who didn't have all the hurts and pains she did growing up. It didn't surprise her, or anyone else for that matter, that a new generation was embracing the books that her generation had grown up on. There were times when Quinn really felt that stories like the world Rowling had created were her own refuge from the horrible state of her home life. And to get to share that love with Rachel just made it that much more special. She vowed that very moment that the two of them would see every single Potter movie ever created together like this.

Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist as the little diva hit the button on her hat, making it roar and the kids around them laugh and scream. Rachel beamed at Quinn, she very much looked like a geek, but a very happy one. If dressing like a witchy lion made Quinn this happy, she would make sure that she did it more often. Or just embraced her inner child more. The two women couldn't keep the smile off their faces as the slowly made it down the carpet, being ushered along by one of Quinn's agent's lackeys.

Neither women really thought about how often they casually touched each other. Since arriving they'd walked hand in hand over to greet some of the young fans looking to meet a celebrity. They were once those kids and both still would bend over backwards for any child who was an aspiring star. When it was finally indicated that it was time for the two women to begin the press circuit, Quinn didn't hesitate to place her hand on Rachel's lower back and guide her through the maze of cords, lights, and people. For them, it was just second nature. But apparently the press thought it was much more than that, repeatedly hounding them about when they had began dating one another. Rachel was glad that the LGBTQI community had come so far in the last few years that no one even balked at the idea that they, as two women, could be dating each other.

Still, Rachel had laughed at the absurdity of it when they were first asked.

Full on, holding Quinn's forearm to keep from falling over, open mouth laughed at the man's question.

In the back of her mind, Rachel almost felt like crying. If only things like that happened in real life, and not just in cheesy movies. Real life friends didn't fall for their best friends. She choked back the tears and forced herself to continue laughing and soon, the laughter rang true.

Quinn looked down at her, fully amused as the diva bent at her waist laughing.

"No, really, we're just best friends. Rachel is laughing because she's just to modest to tell you that I am out of her league." Quinn finally joked when she could tell her friend was finally winding down.

"Hey now!" Rachel grinned up at her lion-headed friend as she wipe the corner of her eyes. "I'll have you know I am a GREAT catch. I was even listed as one of People's hottest women!"

"Well, god knows, you'd be lucky to date al this." Quinn waved her hand to indicate her rockin' body.

"And you'd be falling all over yourself to get with this."

Quinn laughed, completely forgetting the paparazzi standing two foot away as she nudged Rae with her shoulder. "Brat."

"Snob."

"Baby Streisand!"

"I take that as a compliment! But who would that make you?"

"Princess Dianna of course!" Quinn struck a horrible 'regal' posse.

"Well then, by all means, your grace." Rachel curtsied.

"You two seem to get along well."

"We have a unique dynamic built on years of terrorizing each other." Quinn quipped as Rachel wrapped her arm around the taller woman side and leaned into her.

"So from the looks of it, you're obviously a Harry Potter fan. Can you tell me what Harry Potter means to you?"

Quinn laughed. "I don't know if we have time for that, but I'll try. Growing up, my home life was awkward. I was awkward. I wasn't like the other kids who could just go make friends, I was chubby, and had no self-confidence. Most little girls make friends instantly and play around and have fun all the time. Not me. The few I called friends never understood me and I was lonely. Very lonely. Then one day I picked up a little book called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and everything changed. Suddenly, I found people I belonged with. Harry, Ron and Hermione became my best friends in the entire world and I wanted nothing more than to be taken away from my dull existence to be with them." She knew Rachel was staring up at her in awe, and that her handlers were urging them onto the next reporter, but she felt like she needed to say this, just once. Quinn knew she'd never be able to tell the woman who had created such a beautiful world just what it meant to her, but she could tell a beautiful girl, who was so unsure of herself, that it does get better. Even if she couldn't build a time machine to do so, Quinn knew there were more than a few girls out there who were just like her. And she wanted to let them know that they didn't have to be lonely, that there was people out there just like them. A few of them had even gone on to become famous actors and actresses.

"Throughout the rest of my life they were there every step of the way and we grew up together. I saw myself in Harry with his problems of feeling like an outsider, even with the people he cared about. I saw myself in Hermione, being smart and shunned for it. I saw myself in Ron, as he bumbled his way through things. They taught me what true friendship really means and I always held that in my heart. They taught me the value of loyalty, of forgiveness, of selflessness, even when for a long time I forgot to practice it." She smiled down at Rachel as the woman squeezed her side. "They taught me to never give up. They got me through all the bad times and they made the good times even better. These characters will remain in my heart forever. Even when all the books are printed and the final credits roll on the very final Potter film ever, what JK Rowling and Harry Potter has done for me will always be with me, and I will never stop loving this story."

* * *

**Deep Quinn makes me want to hug her. And things seem to be happening with our favorite twosome. Maybe things will start to move forward soon ;)**


	6. Sickness and Comfort

**This honestly started out as a short, filler chapter but it kind of grew out of control. Still somewhat of a filler, with a few revelations that set begin to set up for the next few chapters. See bottom for shameless begging.  
**

* * *

Rachel laid in bed, barely conscious, as she tried to figure out what woke her. She knew it had to be past midnight but not early enough for her alarm to go off. All she knew is it was still dark and she was loth to actually open her eyes to find out, even if waking up at some untold hour was highly unusual for her. Rachel listened carefully for a moment before giving up, the pull of sleep too much to ignore. She sighed and burrowed deeper in the comfortable warmth that surrounded her, drifting back to sleep, when her eyes popped open in realization. The sound of raspy breathing, a slight snore that was not her own, echoed through the room. She smiled, knowing that she would recognize the breathing pattern anywhere. A long, thin arm that encircled her waist and a warm body spooned her from behind. She smiled and snuggled deeper into the arms surrounding her, knowing full and well who was in her bed, even if she didn't quite know why. And then it hit her. The body behind her was warm, very warm.

Rachel slowly shifted in her best friend's embrace, not wanting to wake the sleeping beauty. She lifted her hand to Quinn's forehead, only to have her fears confirmed; Quinn was running a fever.

"Oh sweetie." Rachel sighed quietly. She moved from the bed, grabbing everything she knew she would need to treat the sick woman. Rachel kicked herself for not seeing it the night before. She was just so tired from three straight days of ten hours of filming that she didn't think anything of it when Quinn said she was calling it an early night. Rachel moved around the kitchen, starting the kettle for some herb infused tea. While she waited for the water she got out a tray to pile everything on. A towel to make a cool compress from, Tylenol for if the fever got too high. She moved quickly to her bathroom to get the thermometer. Once in the kitchen, she began to set everything on the tray, hoping Quinn wasn't too sick. Even if it was a 24-hour bug, she still planned on calling both of them into work. It would be a hassle for both of their shows to work around, but at the moment her priority was Quinn. She was terrified her lungs might be acting up again and hoped it wasn't anything as serious.

"Quinn, sweetie, I need you to wake up." Rachel gently nudge Quinn's shoulder, hating to disturb her while she was resting, but knowing they needed to get her temperature down. She knew that if a temperature wasn't too high, you were supposed to let it run its course, but she hated the thought of Quinn not feeling well. She decided she'd let Quinn choose if she took the medicine she brought with into the room once they had found out how high her temp actually was.

"Quinn?" Rachel shook a bit harder, smiling softly as two hazel eyes flutter open, glazed over with sleep and sickness.

"Rae?" Quinn croaked, confused as to why she was obviously in Rachel's room when she knew she had fallen asleep in her own hours before. She knew she was coming down with something and didn't want to spread her germs, nor have her best friend worry over her so she had kept it to herself. She knew Rachel would hover over her until she felt better but she didn't want to risk Rachel getting sick as well.

"Can you sit up some? We need to take your temperature. You're burning up."

"Rae, no. I'll just go back to my room. Don't want you sick too." Quinn groaned as she tried to sit up, ready to crawl over the diva to get to her room if need be.

"Nonsense." Rachel said, easily pushing Quinn back on to her bed. It was a little terrifying that Quinn seemed so weak. If she were up to par, she would have fought to get passed Rachel and easily won. "Open up."

Quinn sighed in defeat and scooted up against the headboard, trying not to grimace in pain. Her whole body hurt. Her head was pounding, her throat felt like she had swallowed a box of nails, even her skin felt too tight on her body.

"How'd I get in here?" Quinn asked, trying not to raise her voice over a whisper. It just hurt too badly.

"You sound awful!" Rachel sighed, placing the electric thermometer into Quinn's mouth. "I woke up with you snuggled behind me, which usually I wouldn't mind. I was about to go back to sleep when I realized you were unnaturally warm."

Quinn tried to give Rachel and apologetic look, wanting to say sorry but unable to around the contraption sticking out of her mouth. She was thankful when it beeped.

"How bad?" Quinn asked softly as she leaned back into the comfortable pillows, soaking in the smell that was distinctly Rachel, happy she could actually still breath through her nose.

"102.4. It's high enough to warrant medication for fever if you wish, though it might be prudent to let it run its course."

Quinn shook her head. "Meds please." Quinn hated the thought of taking medicine, even simple over the counter pain reliever, but she felt bad enough that she knew she needed something.

Rachel nodded as she poured two pills into her hand. "I also brought you some tea with honey in it, which you sound like you need."

"Thanks."

Rachel quickly handed her the medicine and the mug of tea. She watched the blonde struggle to swallow and felt her heart-break a little bit. She hated seeing Quinn in pain and knowing there was so little she could do to help. She took the mug from Quinn's shaking hands before she left to wet a compress to help cool Quinn's feverish body. Quinn sighed in relief as the cool cloth ran across her arms, up across her shoulders, before Rachel settled it on the back of her neck. She nodded her thanks as Rae handed her back the tea and dutifully took another drink, trying not to wince as it hit the back of her throat.

"How long have you been ill, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she moved a strand of hair from Quinn's face.

The blonde pressed her cheek on to Rachel's hand, just needing her touch. She'd always been clingy when she was sick, so it didn't surprise her that she'd made her way to Rachel's bed in her fever induced haze.

Quinn shrugged her shoulder. "Didn't feel good earlier, didn't want to worry you."

"Oh sweetie, you should have told me. Maybe we could have headed this off before your fever got so high."

Quinn once again sent her an apologetic look as she sipped her tea. She moved it back to the tray that sat on the table next to her.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep? Or I could run you a cool bath? It might feel good on your hot skin and bring your fever down? Or if you're not tired, I could always…." A warm hand on her forearm stopped Rachel's words.

Quinn looked down to her lap, then back up at Rachel through her eyelashes. She really didn't want to ask. It made her feel awkward and needy, but right now, there was only on thing that she could think of that would make her feel even remotely better.

"Could you just…. cuddle with me?"

Rachel's mouth turned up at the corners. How could she say no to such an adorable request. "Of course, love. Just let me cool down your compress again, then we can lay down together."

Quinn smiled at the term Rachel had used, sure that the small diva hadn't even realized what she said. It, and Rae's doting on her, made her feel warm all over, and not in a feverish way. She rarely ever had anyone around to take care of her when she was sick. Granted, she rarely ever got sick, but the few times she could remember growing up, she'd been left to fend for herself. Her mom would drop off a tray of food and medicine and then leave her be. The only time she ever really remember being tended to was before Frannie had moved away, and it had been her sister, not her mother, who had done the tending. It made her miss her just a little bit more. Fran and her used to be so close, but after she moved away for college, their relationship fell to the wayside. She always seemed to miss her more when she was sick.

Quinn felt the bed dip as Rachel climbed in behind her, laying a cooling cloth over her brow. Quinn grabbed the hand and placed a small kiss on it before she pulled it around her stomach, forcing the brunette to hold her. Even as feverish and horrible as she felt, she also felt overwhelmingly safe and cared for, and that was all she needed to drift off to sleep.

"Quinn? Quinn, sweetie, you need to take some medicine before I go."

Quinn groaned as she opened her eyes, wondering how long she had been out for. "Go?"

"I'm sorry, love, I couldn't get the full day off. There is one scene that they absolutely need shot today."

"Oh." Quinn knew she sounded dejected but she couldn't help it. When she was sick she reverted to the state of a small child. "Okay."

"I made you some soup for lunch." Apparently she had been out for almost twelve hours. "Homemade chicken noodle. And some more tea. There is Advil, Tylenol, some vitamin C, zinc and Echinacea to help boost your immune system, so be sure to take those. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to stay awake, but I wanted to make sure you didn't have to get up for anything, so I brought a few snacks and a selection of your favorite books and movies. There is _Alice in Wonderland, The Chronicles of Narnia, Slaughterhouse-Five, _and_ Atlas Shrugged._ As for movies I brought a wide array of movies by your favorite classic actresses Katharine Hepburn, Sophia Loren, the beautiful and talented Audrey Hepburn. Breakfast at Tiffany's is already in the DVD player, cued up…"

Quinn pulled the garrulous woman into her arms, stemming her flow of words. She was completely overwhelmed and in her vulnerable state, she wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss her best friend or just break down crying. No one had ever put so much effort into making sure she was okay. Know one knew her well enough to know that each and every one of those things were perfectly her. She had no idea that Rae knew a list of her favorite books, movies, even her favorite thing to eat when she just needed comfort. She should have known, out of all the people in the world, Rachel would be the one person to know those little details.

"Rae, you… you're amazing. Thank you for all of this." She felt Rachel sigh against her ear and sag against her.

"I just want you to be ok." Rachel whispered.

"I will be, I promise."

"I just don't like you not feeling well and you sounded so sad when I said I had to leave."

Quinn chuckled lightly as she let the diva go, trying not to wince as it hurt her throat. "When I get sick, I get clingy. I just want to be held, have my head rubbed, and have food brought to me. You've done all that and more."

Rachel looked down at her hands. "I just… I don't want to leave you here alone." Quinn had tossed and turned most of the night and Rachel felt so powerless to make her feel better. She kept replacing the cool cloth, sponging her down the best she could when Quinn had begun to groan in pain. It just all felt like it wasn't enough and now she had to leave for a few hours when all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed with Quinn. She hated it. It gnawed at her chest and made her eyes hurt from trying to hold back tears.

"Hey, I'll be okay. You've taken care of me better than anyone ever has." She motioned to the overflowing side table filled with everything she could possibly need. In addition to movies, books, and lunch, Rachel had also brought tissues, bottled water, Quinn's journal, phone, and laptop. She also spied more than a few of her favorite snacks.

"You even made me get well cookies!"

"I know you love my cookies." Quinn melted at the sight of Rachel's shy smile.

"You really are the greatest." Quinn said, hugging her friend again.

"Yes, well, just remember that when it's your turn to take care of me. I've taken precautions, but there is a high likelihood that I will contract whatever virus or bug that you've caught."

"I hope not."

"As do I." Rachel looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand on her side of the bed. She really didn't want to go, but she knew if she didn't soon she was going to be late. "I have to go, but if you need anything at all, please call me. I can be back here in under half an hour."

Quinn reached out for Rachel's hands from where they sat on her lap. "I'll be fine Rae. Go do what you need to and when you get back, we can cuddle up and watch the amazing, gifted women who came before us doing what they love."

Rachel smiled and nodded, brushing her lips across Quinn's forehead before she turned to leave.

Rachel was completely exhausted by the time she got back. It had only been a little over four hours, but it felt like so much longer when all she wanted to do was get home. She quietly made her way to her room, hearing the familiar notes from Cabaret filtering into the hallway. She smiled, knowing it wasn't one of the ones she had laid out; it was a favorite from her own collection that she'd have to tease Quinn about when she was feeling better. She leaned against her doorway, melting at the site in front of her. Quinn had apparently tried to stay awake but had fallen asleep sitting up. She had slumped over onto Rachel's massive pile of pillows, her mouth slightly open as she snored softly. Her short, blonde hair stood in every direction and the sweatshirt she had pulled on swallowed her whole, making her look so young and innocent.

Rachel decided to take a quick shower and slip into her PJs before joining Quinn on the bed. She was surprised that the woman barely reacted when she readjusted her on the bed. Rachel took the opportunity to just take in every small detail of her best friend's face. Rachel smiled as the woman next to her unconsciously snuggled closer, tangling her legs with Rachel's and pulling her body closer by her waist. Rachel tried to hold back a laugh, remembering Quinn telling her that _she_ was the octopus cuddler. She couldn't help but the way her heart seemed to swell as she was held in Quinn's embrace.

Rachel thought back to the last few months. She loved the time that she had gotten to spend with the demure blonde. She had always been drawn to the blonde, even in high school, but now… now it was so much stronger, and living together just made it so obvious. Quinn made her laugh in a way no one else could. They could talk about anything and everything and often did. Getting to work together had been nothing short of amazing. Rachel made it a habit to never lie if she could control it, and that meant to her self as well. There were so many emotions that she had pushed away for so long, but it seemed like they weren't something she'd be able to run from for much longer; she only hoped they didn't ruin her relationship with the woman sleeping next to her. "I think I'm falling for you." She whispered into the slowly darkening room as her eyes drifted shut.

When she woke hours later it was to two sparkling green eyes staring into her own with a small grin. The two women lay facing each other, their legs tangled together under the blankets much the same way they were when Rachel had fallen asleep. They seemed to have drifted even closer in their sleep and Quinn's hand currently rested on Rachel's hip. It was an intimate position, but neither woman wanted to bring it up, both fearing the other would move. Rachel couldn't stop her hand from lifting, running her fingers through sweat dampened blonde hair.

"I think your fever is finally breaking." Relief filled Rachel's voice.

Quinn hummed in pleasure as Rachel's nails lightly dragged against her scalp. She felt like a lazy cat and swore she'd be purring if she could. It was a good thing she knew Rachel loved cats. Quinn couldn't seem to drag from chocolate-brown ones that she felt like she could drown in. It should have terrified her, but for once she was content to just be.

"How is it possible that even sick you still manage to be the prettiest girl I've ever met?" Quinn felt a small smile spread across her face, knowing a light blush was coloring her cheeks.

"Your birthday's a little over a month from now." Quinn stated, ignoring what she was sure was a rhetorical question.

"Hmm, yes it is." Rachel let her hand drop to the small space between them, wondering where Quinn was taking the conversation. She was glad Quinn hadn't dwelt on her unfiltered assertion. She hadn't meant to let the words slip from her mouth but more and more she seemed to be unable to filter herself. Rachel knew the time was fast approaching where they would have to discuss what was going on between them; just as much as she knew tonight, with Quinn still sick, and the two of them practically wrapped up in each other, wasn't the right time. She knew if they waited much longer, something drastic might occur, and she was so scared it would ruin them

Quinn's hand sliding into her own brought Rachel back to the present and the conversation about her birthday. Rachel looked down at their hands and up at the amused smirk on Quinn's face, almost daring her to say something about their intertwined fingers, and smiled. She wondered if she could still blame Quinn's boldness on her fever and medication.

"You've done such a good job taking care of me and I want to do something special for you."

"Quinn, I don't need a reward, you getting better is all I need." Rachel said earnestly. For once, she didn't want someone tripping over themselves to treat her like royalty.

"I know that. Just humor me. What would you like for your birthday?"

Rachel saw the look of determination on the ex-cheerleaders face. It was a look she had learned well over the years, any time Quinn was determined to get her way. Which was often. Rachel sighed to herself, knowing there way no way of getting out of this, even if Quinn was sick, so she decided to really think about it. God knew she could buy herself almost anything she wanted. She had invested well from her very first stint on Broadway. Between her shows, royalties from her Grammy-award winning song, as well as a few others she had written under a few pen names, she was more than well off. Honestly, materialistically, there wasn't anything she wanted or needed for.

"Come home with me." Rachel said before she even processed what she had said. She really needed to work on her Fabray filter, because her internal one seemed to completely fritz out around the woman. Not that it was nearly what it should be to begin with.

Quinn stared at her best friend in shock. Rae knew she hadn't been back in the four years since Puck and her had separated. Santana and Brittany were in New York. Most of the Glee members she was close to were spread around the country. She still talked to her mom on the phone every few months, but the drama from high school had always lingered, and she'd pretty much cut contact after the disapproval she received when she started dating Puck. There really wasn't much to go back for.

"Hear me out," Rachel begged quietly, squeezing the fingers that were lying between her own. "I only have two more days of shooting, and I know the week before Thanksgiving you guys are shooting your last takes before going on hiatus until after the New Year. We have the press circuit to run for the show, so I won't be surprised if they book some New York shows anyway. I will already be in New York as I was asked to be on a float for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I was already hoping to ask you if you'd want to join me. I was just thinking we can spend a few days in New York, see everyone, go to a show or two or whatever you like. Then we could make a road trip out of going back to Lima."

Quinn sighed as she released Rachel's fingers and rolled onto her back, already missing the warmth of the smaller woman, even if she was less than a foot away. "Beth and Shelby are back in Lima again." She admitted to the ceiling, knowing that Rachel knew as much but just needing to say it.

Rachel stared at her friend's profile, wondering what she was thinking. "I know."

Quinn huffed as she turned her head, staring at Rachel. "Are…. do they still come over for… Will they be there…"

"Yes, Quinn, Shelby and Beth will be there for Christmas dinner."

Quinn nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. She knew they would be but she had to ask. It was a tradition that had started shortly after Rachel began her career on Broadway. She knew that Shelby had visited Rae shortly before she auditioned for _Funny Girl_ and their relationship had grown from there. Apparently seeing your birth daughter on stage fulfilling a dream you couldn't was the key to a maternal bond with said child. She knew how hard it had been for Rachel; she'd been there when Shelby pushed her away in exchange for Quinn's own daughter. She was there when Shelby came back to town. She couldn't imagine what that was like for Rachel. She knew when Shelby finally came crawling back how it had been awkward and hard for both of them –Rachel had told Quinn as much herself. Yet, no matter how hard it was, she couldn't tell her mother no. In the end, it was a good thing. Shelby called her now on almost a weekly basis and no matter where in the country she was, Beth and Shelby had become guest at the Berry's Annual Christmas Dinner.

"I… I haven't seen her in person… in a long time." Quinn's voice broke. She knew that Rae knew that. Quinn made sure she made her Skype date with her daughter at least once a week and when Rachel was around she'd often come over to say hi. Still, talking on Skype and seeing your daughter in person, knowing she could reject you and run away was a totally different thing. She wanted to go, to see her, god did she want to, but she wasn't sure if she could. "It's hard to imagine that she's eight now. She's gotten so big…"

Rachel smiled at the thought of her adopted sister. "I know. My mom sent me her school pictures last month. She looks just like you Quinn."

Quinn looked over at Rachel, knowing the movement had dislodged the tears that had filled her eyes when Rachel's thumb brushed across her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I shouldn't have asked. I wasn't even thinking."

Quinn shook her head with a watery smile. "No. No, it's fine. I… I think… Rae, promise me you wont leave my side." She choked out.

"I will always be with you every step of the way." Rachel hesitated, wondering if Quinn would say anything more. When more tears spilled over her friend's cheek she knew she needed to ask. "Quinn? Does this mean we're going… I mean… are you sure you want to?"

"What the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets. I mean, you only turn a quarter of century old once in a lifetime." Quinn joked through her tears.

"Hey, ouch." Rachel growled, playfully smacking Quinn's arm before letting her smile fade. "But really, sweetie, this isn't about me, or my birthday, anymore. I need to know if you really want to do this, not for me, but for you. Quinn, do you want to spend the holidays with me? Knowing it will mean seeing your daughter, face-to-face, for the first time in three or four years?"

Quinn sighed, knowing it would be too easy to pin it on a hastily spoken birthday wish. The thought of Rae wanting to spend the holidays with her would have sent her into a tailspin of happiness. It was just overshadowed by her nervousness at the thought of seeing her daughter again. "I…. I think it's time. I think it's time I went home."

Rachel nodded, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break out across her face. "Knowing you'll probably get stuck seeing Puck? And more than a few Glee members?" Rachel asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the somber mood that had settled over them.

"God, Gleeks." Quinn let out an exaggerated groan, happy that her throat was feeling good enough to do so, even if it was still a bit sore. She smiled playfully in spite of her groan. "I do miss those geeks."

"So you want to do this, even knowing you'll be stuck in a car with me for ten to twelve hours?"

"It's only a nine-hour drive from New York to Lima!"

"Yes, but I must make my mandatory annual stop in Hershey, Pennsylvania to restock my father's supply of 'the best chocolate ever'. His words, not mine."

"Dad or Daddy?"

Rachel beamed. She knew Quinn was one of the few people who could remember which man was which. Even after dating Finn for as long as she had, he never could get it right. "Daddy."

Quinn huffed. "LeRoy better know how much I love him."

"So does this mean you're in?" Rachel asked, trying not to get her hopes up.

"Yes."

"For the whole thing?"

"Yes, Rae. The whole thing." Quinn sighed, trying to fight a smile. She knew the little diva was dying to show how overjoyed she was but was holding back.

"Thanksgiving in New York?"

"Thanksgiving and sightseeing."

"Driving to Lima?" The excitement in Rachel's voice was steadily growing.

"I get partial control over the radio." Quinn smiled over at the brunette who was practically vibrating.

"Deal! Hanukkah and Christmas?"

"As long as you're by my side." Quinn answered seriously. She wasn't even surprised when five feet, three inches of brown hair and tanned skin landed on top of her, crushing her in a hug.

"This is going to be so great!" Rachel squealed into Quinn's neck, earning her a squeeze from the woman beneath her. "I have to call dad and daddy! They're going to be so happy to see you! And you have to tell Beth! We can have to have a Glee-union and do Christmas carols!" Quinn chuckled at Rachel's infectious exhilaration.

"Oh god," Rachel exclaimed, finally realizing she was still laying on top of the sick blonde. "Why didn't you tell me I was crushing you?!"

Rachel tried to scramble off the blonde, but was held tight by two strong arms. "Nu uh, just stay."

Rachel sighed as she settled back down, her head settling on Quinn's chest. Any other time, she'd be up, planning out every last infinitesimal detail of their trip, but she just felt so content at the moment that she didn't think she ever wanted to move again. Just the sound of Quinn's heartbeat settled her soul. She briefly thought back to the moments after Quinn's accident when she would listen to the beeping on the machines telling her Quinn was still there. Rachel pushed the thoughts aside as she wrapped her arms tighter around Quinn.

Quinn felt the change in the small woman in her arms. "Is everything okay? Do I need to let you go?" She whispered into Rachel's hair, hoping she'd tell her no. She sighed in relief when Rachel shook her head.

"Just don't let go."

Quinn nodded and pulled Rachel even closer to her, silently promising that if she ever had the chance, she'd never let go again. 

* * *

_**!Warning: shameless begging ahead!**_

**I have been **_**so**_** thrilled by the number of followers and favorites this story has gotten, but I have to admit I'm a little disappointed and confused by so few reviews. I wont ever be an author who adds "Hey don't forget to review" on every chapter, so this will probably be my only request in this story. I love feedback, positive, negative; heck even flames, though they suck, let me know if I'm on the right track or not. I'm trying to keep everyone as close to character as possible so if you like what you read, send me a little note, a virtual high-five, or a smiley face. Even if it's just telling me "Hey, your spelling sucks" (because let's be honest, it really does) And if you think this story sucks… well then what the hell are you doing still reading it :) Thank you to all those who have stopped and taken the time to read this story. I'm glad some of you are enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**


	7. Bonus Chapter: Interviews and Beer

**Holy crap man, almost twenty reviews in three hours? Y'all rock, please keep 'em coming. Just because you guys are amazing, and I was bored, I am posting this completely unplanned, completely pointless (but fun) impromptu "interview" chapter. This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands and get sucked into watching clips of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon –you all get crazy, silly, fun bonus chapters. The first few lines of dialogue come straight from Lea Michelle's March appearance on the show. She's just too cute so I had to add them. I'll have a full update out in another day or two :)**

Rachel gave Quinn a small wave before the PA positioned her and waited for her name to be called.

"And now please welcome the beautiful and talented Rachel Berry everyone!"

Rachel let her stage smile spread across her face as she stepped out on to the bright stage.

"Jimmy!" Rachel beamed as she leaned over to peck the handsome host on his cheek.

"Rachel, you look gorgeous! Thank you for coming on our show!"

"Thank you, thank you! It's so COLD here! I forgot how cold New York is in the winter. I want to go back to California!"

"Oh what are you talking about? It's great out! You just have to wear more clothes when you come on that's all!"

"I'm sorry!" Rachel laughed, slightly adjusting the edge of her dress down. It really was cold on the set and her dress left little to the imagination.

"It's pretty simple." Jimmy laughed. "Now this, this is exciting." She watched as Jimmy reached behind his desk and pulled out a magazine with her face covering the front. Even after all this time, it still wasn't something she'd gotten used to before. "You're currently on the cover of Vogue! Look at this." Jimmy said, holding up the current issue. "Just beautiful."

"I was so excited to be asked to be on their cover! I used to read that magazine when I was younger and to now be the person on their cover now is just…"

"Mind blowing I'm sure."

"God, I feel like most of my life is just surreal at this point."

"How does it feel? You started out on Broadway, you went on to write a Grammy award-winning song, and now have moved on to television? How wide-eyed are you with this experience? You have what? Two Golden Globes, a Tony, and a Grammy?"

"Yes! I do. And I'm so excited I can say that. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks…"

"Well, Happy Birthday."

"Thank you. I'm not even 25 yet and I've reached so many of the goals and dreams I had for myself when I was younger. My background has given me so much preparation, a great solid ground. This is such a tough industry and I've been so blessed to be so successful in it. I got my start with my Glee club in high school, winning Nationals back in 2012." Rachel turned to the camera and waved. "Hi guys!" She tried to give a shout out to her old Glee members as often as she could during interviews. It was just who Rachel was. Glee club had helped her get to where she was today and she'd never forget them for it. "Being able to start on Broadway, then helping produce an award-winning song, it has all been a great experience and it's all helped me prepare for the next phase of my life."

"So you're moving on to television and film?"

"That's the plan for the moment. Theater will always be my home and I hope to one day return there, but for now I'm focusing on other mediums."

"You've done quite a few guest spots recently, correct?"

"I have. I've done two, wait, three guest roles. You can watch me this spring on _WhiteGold_, I just finished three episodes of _Trial_."

"And you're currently guest starring on the Emmy-award winning show _Steel _with your former high school nemesis."

Rachel laughed. "I guess you can say that, though Quinn and I made our peace a long time ago. She's one of my best friends in the world."

"That's so awesome!"

"It really is. Getting to work with her was amazing!"

"So you did what? Six episodes?" Jimmy Fallon asked as he leaned over the desk.

"I was originally signed for four episodes but they liked the chemistry I had with Quinn, who plays Detective Ella Riya, so much that they extended it for two more episodes."

"Speaking of chemistry, can I just say wow! You two set the screen on fire!" Jimmy gushed as Rachel fought the blush that threatened to rise. "Can you tell us about your characters?"

"I play the daughter of a Senator who has been receiving death threats and Detective Riya and her partner Alexa Garnet have been assigned to protect me."

"What are we going to see in this clip? Set it up for us."

"I play Carmina Tallman, who is a snarky, independent woman who is none too pleased to be placed under the watch of the Secret Service, much less two beat cops. So in this clip you see her trying to get under the skin of Detective Riya."

Rachel sat in her seat and watched along with the audience. She had to admit, the two of them looked great together on screen. She smiled as the camera cut back to them and Jimmy informed her she was in for a surprise when they came back from break.

"During the break I challenged Rachel Berry to a round of the classic drinking game Flip Cup. But Rachel, I think we need more of a challenge."

Rachel laughed. "I don't know Jimmy, I've never played this so I don't think it'll be hard to beat me."

"Oh, that's even better! Do you think you need some help?"

"I could use all the help I can get." Rachel admitted.

"I was hoping you'd say that. We need partners. So joining Team Rachel is the one and only Scarlett Johansson." Rachel greeted her partner in this weird drinking game with a smile and stage hug, hoping the actress was better at this than she was.

"Seeing as the two of you have long since buried the hatchet, I felt it was only fair to invite your co-star. Joining me on Team Jimmy is one of the stars of the TV show _Steel_, Ms. Quinn Fabray."

Rachel squealed as she turned around in shock to see her best friend walking on to the stage with a huge grin. Quinn wrapped the diva in a hug and spun her around before turning to greet Jimmy and Scarlett.

"Okay, so we're going to be playing a game of team flip cup. Here's how it works. You drink your beer, you put your cup down, and then you flip your cup until it lands upside down. Then go down the line. First team to flip all their cups wins."

"Have you played this before?" Rachel asked her teammate.

"Oh yeah. We've got this." Scarlett assured her, nudging the shorter actress with her shoulder.

Quinn smiled evilly as she reached across the table and shook both their hands. "Good luck! You're gonna need it." She pointed at Rachel and smirked. "Berry, you're mine!"

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Good, healthy rivalry!" Jimmy cheered. "How about Rachel and you start us out?"

"So when she drinks and flips, then I can drink, correct?" Rachel asked, trying to make sure she had some semblance of an idea what she was doing. It was all fun and games until they pitted her against Quinn. Both women were entirely way too competitive for their own good.

"That's right. Okay, everyone ready?" Jimmy counted down and Rachel and Quinn lifted their red solo cups to their lips, both chugging down the beer as quickly as they could. Quinn flipped hers on the first go while it took Rachel three tries. Scarlett caught them up, downing and flipping hers before Fallon was able to get his cup over. Rachel was stoked when she had her drink gone and cup almost flipped before Quinn even picked up her second cup. They quickly moved down the line, Rachel and Scarlett quickly moving ahead of Jimmy and Quinn.

Rachel looked across the table elated as she downed her last cup and began to attempt to flip it. She'd done so well with the second cup that she was sure she had this. Until she watched Quinn lick a droplet of beer off her lips.

"Come on Berry, you got this!" Scarlett cheered next to her as Rachel tipped the cup too far again, completely distracted by her best friend's tongue. Quinn grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at her best friend as she emptied her cup and flipped it perfectly her first try, leaving Jimmy to try to win for them. Rachel finally managed to flip her cup, but not before the talk show host had finished his last drink. She playfully glared over at Quinn who just seemed to smile wider, both missing their teammates landing their cups at the exact same moment.

"Oh! Boom!" Jimmy yelled as everyone broke out laughing, high fiving each other. "It's a tie! We're just all _that_ awesome. I'm surrounded by winners!" Jimmy threw his arm over his teammate's shoulder and pointed to the camera. "My thanks to Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, and Scarlett Johansson. Don't forget to catch Rachel and Quinn on _Steel_ airing Thursdays on CBS. We'll be back after this commercial break!"

**If you haven't played flip cups, it's a blast. Messy, and you end up covered in beer, but it's fun. Remember children, please drink responsibly and to obey the laws in your area. Or you know, whatever. Just don't follow Quinn's example and you should be ok :)**


	8. Frustration and Floats

**A little late tonight but with family, cooking, and a debilitating migraine it's taken a bit longer to get out. I have to thank each of you that reviewed over the last few days. You guys are amazing! My reviews doubled since Saturday! I really wanted their Thanksgiving celebration chapter to coincide with our fabulous American holiday -but one of the reviewers mentioned the name Rae being "innocent and naïve" and well… this happened. I'm still not sure about this chapter but I hope you enjoy it regardless :) Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Edit: Posted on Thanksgiving, edited/extended and reposted on Black Friday**

* * *

**Frustration and Floats Part I**

"Seriously Q? What the hell is your problem?" Santana growled at the blonde.

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and tried to bite back the growl that wanted to escape her throat. Rachel and her had planned to spend the holidays together and yet they'd been in New York for four days and had only saw each other a handful of hours. They had been completely blindsided when Tina called them shortly after they had landed at JFK to inform Rachel that there was no possible way they would be able to stay at Rachel's condo. Apparently the building managers had decided an emergency fumigation HAD to be completed before Thanksgiving, leaving them stranded without a place to stay for their first few days in town. Quinn would have been perfectly fine staying in a hotel room together, but of course Rachel, being the more practical of the two, decided that it wasn't worth the additional cost when they knew so many people around the city. And of course, all the friends that she had prayed would be unavailable were more than accommodating for the duo: Rachel at Kurt and Blaine's, Quinn at Santana and Brittany's. On opposite sides of the city.

If that hadn't been bad enough, their production company had gone crazy when they had found out the women were going to be in New York for the holidays and had booked them on every TV show and radio broadcast in New York/Tri-state area and both of their schedules had them running ragged. It seemed that if Rachel wasn't appearing on a show, she was constantly practicing for her third consecutive year on top a Macy's float. She was one of few artist who absolutely refused to lip sing her songs and therefore she "required" as much practice time as she could fit in. If she wasn't on top of a float, she was passing Quinn as they had been shuttled to and from promoting the show. Those were the only moments they had gotten to see each other over the past few days and it was starting to take its toll on Quinn.

She thought she'd outgrown this feeling –the anger and need to lash out. Her skin felt too tight and she was fighting the need to claw her way out.

"Damn it Q, answer me." Santana barked, pushing the blonde's knee with her foot. Quinn looked up with a glare and snarled.

"Santana, leave her alone." Quinn let the look fade as she watched Brittany sit down on her girlfriend's lap, draping her arm over Santana's shoulder. She knew Brittany wouldn't like them fighting.

"Q just misses Rachel." Britt turned and smiled at Quinn in understanding. "I'm sure that Rachel misses you too, Q."

"So you're still Fabgay for Berry?" Santana snorted.

"Shut up S." Quinn growled as she picked up her nail file. She was trying to be better and fully planned on ignoring the feisty woman across from her.

"You're not even going to deny it?"

Quinn snorted. "Right, just to have you twist my words? No, thanks." Quinn tapped the file against her chin as she tilted her head in thought, grinning to herself. "Though really, you'd have to up your game to come anywhere close to April anyway."

"Your soulless, ginger, co-star? She ain't got nothing on Santana Lopez."

She knew she was probably provoking Santana into an argument and as much as she hated herself a little bit for it, she knew that Santana wouldn't take it personally. She figured if they got into a small, harmless argument she would at least have an outlet for her restless energy and irritation.

Quinn could almost imagine April and S in a ring going at each other and she wasn't sure who would win, but she was damn sure neither would walk away unscathed.

"I think it's the other way around. You'd be surprised, Santana. She'd give you a run for your money." She said as casually as she could, knowing it would irritate the volatile brunette. Though honestly, she thought it was true. Maybe not physically, but in a verbal showdown, April might just take the ex-cheerleader.

Santana's comments were cringe worthy in high school; she'd give her that. S and her had gone head to head enough times that Quinn could attest to her cruelness. Even when they were getting along, Santana would make sure to get a dig in one way or another. It was just how S was. Even when she'd grown up and mellowed out to a degree, she was still as feisty as ever. Quinn couldn't even remember the number of insults and innuendos Santana had thrown her way over the years, many directed at Quinn and Rachel's sexualities, even going as far as telling then to "stop making out " if the two women dared even look in one another's direction. But April? April had a way of making it seem so obvious, like she really believed they should be together. Like she was stating what everyone else could see. When Quinn actually let herself think about it, she wondered if it really was something everyone else could see. Quinn lifted a shoulder. "Bitch has bit."

She could feel Santana's eyes on her and forced herself not to fidget.

"Right. Whatever." Santana roll her eyes and Quinn almost choked on her breath, surprised and somewhat disappointed that the feisty woman hadn't risen to her challenge.

"Anyway, you'll see your hobbit tomorrow. We're supposed to meet at Kurt and Blaine's at nine."

"Why so early?"

"We're all going down to the parade route to catch Berry's float and then helping cook. I mean really, do you really want to leave the cooking to the vegan and two queens?"

"She's actually vegetarian now." Quinn responded without a second thought, more interested in filing her nails and pretending not to care.

"Santana and I are vagatarians too. You should totally be one too, Quinn!" Brittany beamed at Quinn. "Then you and Rachel could be vagatarians together! I'd share but S doesn't like it when we do that anymore."

"Damn right." Santana growled into Brittany's neck. Quinn rolled her eyes as she watched the Latina begin to nip at her girlfriend's neck, making the taller woman giggle.

"And that's my cue to leave. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"You're leaving?" Britt's sad voice stopped her in her tracks. It had always stopped her in her tracks. Brittany and sad just didn't mix.

"Yeah B, I'm just going to go find Rae." That seemed to make Brittany happy, even if it wasn't the truth. She wasn't sure where she was going but even if she wasn't starting to feel like a third wheel, she just needed to get out.

"If you hear from her tell her to call me, k? And I promise I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled as Brittany sprung from her girlfriend's lap to throw her arms around Quinn's neck. It helped her feel just a little better. Brittany always gave some of the best hugs and seeing her smile had always made Quinn feel better no matter what was going on with her.

Quinn grabbed her oversized bag and camera and headed for the door with a wave back at her friends. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she really didn't want to sit around and watch her two best friends grope each other with the mood she was in. Quinn felt unsettled and couldn't figure out why her anxiety seemed to be climbing through the roof. She felt like she had a dozen triple espresso and couldn't get her mind and body to settle for even a moment. She knew she missed Rachel, but it felt like so much more than that. She felt like an addict in need of her next fix.

Quinn decided to walk off some of her anxious energy and began wandering the streets of New York with no destination in mind. It was days like these that she was glad she could hide in her hipster boots and coat and blend into the city, instead of being hounded by paparazzi and overzealous fans. Honestly, she rather be behind the camera than in front of it more often than not. She shouldered her bag and lifted her camera to her eye, just wanting to see what lay beyond. She roamed the city streets for a few hours, stopping to take a picture when the mood struck. Quinn really believed that she was lucky enough to live in such an incredible and beautiful world and loved to find the honesty and truth in it. Her pictures weren't always about the pretty shots, but the ones that were the most real. It helped ground her when nothing else seemed to. It had been her haven before Rachel had moved to LA, she'd just grab her camera and wander the boardwalk or walk down Hollywood Boulevard capturing whatever caught her eye. The last few months she'd pushed it to the wayside, more content with spending time with Rachel, but without that tether now, she felt like she needed the solace it could bring.

"Quinn Fabray, as I live and breathe." Quinn looked up from her viewfinder at the sound of the familiar voice and smiled.

"Oh my god Kurt!" She jumped into the smiling man's arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here, remember?"

Quinn rolled her eyes even as her smile stayed perfectly in place. "You know what I mean."

"I stopped by Britannia's loft. I didn't even knock before I realized you weren't there. I decided I'd head to our café and give you a call but lo and behold, who should I find in the middle of a New York City sidewalk, rudely blocking the flow of foot traffic but the she devil herself."

Quinn smiled took in her friend. He oozed New York. "Don't move." She adjusted the settings on her camera before she lifted it to her face and snapped the picture. She smiled as she looked at the picture, Kurt in the middle of the frame, smiling widely as people blurred passed him.

"Wow, Quinn, that's fantastic."

Quinn blushed and gave a small shrug. "I guess it's good to know I'll have something to fall back on if this acting thing doesn't pan out."

"Your acting thing has won you an Emmy. I don't see it _not_ working out anytime soon." Kurt laughed and wound his arm with hers as they began to walk. "So tell me, what are you doing out here playing photographer anyway?"

Quinn sighed and shrugged. "I'm sure you heard _La Concerto de Fasques Sexuelles Lesbiennes_ being performed by one Brittany S. Pierce and Santana."

"I think the entire neighborhood could hear it. But why do I get the feeling that there is more to it than that? You seem very…. morose. Much different from when I picked you and Rachel up at the airport a few days ago."

Quinn felt her shoulders fall a slightly. She had been so excited when they first landed. It had been years since she'd had any real company for the holidays. Then everything went to hell. She knew it went deeper than that, but decided the glossed over version was better. Even that version though, she was sure she wanted to share with the biggest gossip to ever spring from Lima, Ohio.

Kurt watched Quinn's thoughts playing out on her face. She was always so hard to read, but he could tell there were a million things going on in that head of hers.

"Listen, Quinn, I know we're not very close, we may never have been, but we're family. Just so you know, I still happen excelled as a very decent listener."

"Kurt, I just… I'm not sure it's something I'm ready to talk about. Please no disrespect, but I'm not sure I would even if I were ready."

Kurt couldn't blame her. He still regretted not being there for her when she needed it in high school. Everyone had surrounded and supported him when he had needed it, even Quinn, and he truly felt they failed Quinn when she needed them most. It always made him want to try to reach out to the closed off woman, and this time wasn't any different, but he could respect her decision.

Quinn watched the boisterous man side-eye her and waited for him to push for an answer or to throw a diva fit. She realized how much he'd grown up when he finally gave a small nod and tried to smother his huff of disappointment. She couldn't help but smile and give hug his arm to her a little more.

"So where are you taking me anyway?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "It seems our resident diva is having a melt down of some sort. Someone cancelled on her or something, I kind of lost track. Anyway, she had tried to reach you but apparently your phone was off and I apparently look like damn retriever of lost things. Today that thing being you."

Quinn took a second to process, trying to find the answer in that jumbled mess. Once she did, she couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face. "Wait, we're going to see Rae? I thought she was practicing for her float appearance tomorrow."

"I swear! No one listens to me at all. Yes, Quinn, we are going to see Rachel. Didn't you hear me say someone had cancelled on her and she was having a major melt down?"

"I… uh… I guess I missed that part. I'm sorry. So she isn't practicing on the float today?" Quinn asked as they turned down another side street. She was glad Kurt had stumbled upon her because she was hopelessly lost before he had started dragging them away from the few streets that looked vaguely familiar.

"She is." Kurt said matter-of-fact-ly. "That's part of her melt down. That overly hyped, want-to-be-singer, Jonathan Groff was supposed to sing with Rachel on the M&amp;M Broadway Float and he 'got sick.'"

"Right, so are we walking all the way there? Because I'm pretty sure your boots weren't made for that." Quinn pointed down at Kurt's very fashionable but also very high-heeled boots.

"Oh honey, it's not like we are walking to Hoboken, New Jersey. Didn't you know that Rachel's been practicing down at Chelsea Piers? She's meeting us at Del Posto for a late lunch to discuss some hair brained idea she has."

"When did you talk to Rae anyway?"

"When she called me freakin' out that you weren't answering your phone, afraid that you'd been left to die in some dirty back alley. And for the love of Barbra, why must insist on calling her Rae anyway? It's so…. juvenile!"

Quinn looked down at the sidewalk, confident that Kurt would keep them from running into anyone or anything as she thought about how to answer that. She had been so impressed with how he hadn't pushed her before to open up that she decided to give him this one. Really, it wasn't anything big enough for him to really gossip over, and even if he did, she highly doubted that anyone else would understand it anyway.

"I don't know, it's something that just happened a long time ago. You know how stars are her thing?"

"Who doesn't? It's her metaphor. Gold star Rachel Berry."

Quinn snorted, thinking of the secondary meaning of 'gold star' knowing as much as she might have wished it were true back in high school she knew full and well it did not apply to Rachel Berry in any way, shape, or form. "Right, who could forget?" She hesitated for just a moment. "Okay, this is going to, well, I'm going to, have to act like a total geek for a moment. And I swear if you tell anyone this Kurt, I will end you."

"I can handle that. Just don't damage the face. The fans will want an open coffin funeral."

Quinn couldn't help but smile and shake her head. "I can agree to that. Or you know, just don't say anyone and we won't have to worry about your demise." Kurt shrugged his assent. "So this might get a little confusing but stick with me here. What is a star?"

"Do you mean like a movie star or a star in the sky?"

"The latter."

Kurt hummed and shrugged, "A luminous ball of hot gas billions of light years from earth?"

Quinn snickered, knowing that Rachel wouldn't appreciate that definition. "Correct. The closest star to the planet earth is a yellow dwarf star that we call the sun. So if you think about it in those terms, sun ray, equals star ray, equals Rachel." Quinn shook her head. "Ok, wow, that was a moronic, vapid explanation."

"No, no I guess in a way that does make sense."

"Yeah, but…" Quinn ran her hand through her hair. "It's so much more than that and that was a really simple, really dumbed down version of it. In truth it's, well maybe it a little over the top. The only way I can explain is to tell you how I came up with it. Can I tell you a story?"

Kurt eyes lit up. "Story time!" He giggled, bouncing on the balls of his feet. She was sure if she didn't have one of his arms tucked around her own, the boy would have clapped.

She rolled her eyes this time, wondering if her mother was right that one day they'd get stuck like that. "Remember the Metro passes that Rae and I were horrible about using?" She waited up he had nodded. "Well, one weekend shortly after she opened _Funny Girl_ I finally got around to using the ticket she got me. Santana and Rachel were still fighting kind of and she was off on tour with Mercedes and Britt; you were doing god knows what; so I guess Rachel felt lonely and had begged me to come down." The story sounded vaguely familiar to Kurt but he listened quietly as she continued, wondering what this had to do with the nickname she'd given their good friend.

"Anyway, we somehow ended up in this little dive bar with a live karaoke band and of course, Rae had to sing. I hadn't really sung since we graduated so I convinced her to have a few drinks with me first. We drank and talked for hours so by the time that she finally took to the stage, we were both more than a little intoxicated. So keep in mind, I was very, very buzzed when I came up with all of this and cannot be held fully accountable if it sounds stupid." She looked over at Kurt who seemed had been quietly listening, his eyes trained on the people and buildings they were passing. Assuming he's still listening, Quinn took a breath and continued.

"She gets up on stage, and Rachel being Rachel, stuns the crowded bar into total silence with her voice. And she's just up there singing her heart out and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. When she gets up there on stage, it's like, the whole world stands still to take notice. She was up there singing and I was struck blind, yet I couldn't look away. It was like looking into the sun. You know you shouldn't stare yet you can't seem to tear your eyes away. She had this aura around her that screamed beauty, passion, warmth, and danger. I found myself thinking that she's so much more than a star; she's like a little piece of the sun on earth. She is so brilliant and bright and even though you know that she has the potential to burn you, you can't help but want to bask in her warmth. And you can't help but feel warm when around her, like you've been laying next to the pool just soaking in the rays. And that's when it hit me: she's like our own personal little ray of sunshine. That's when she became my Rae."

She looked up at Kurt to see if he understood what she was saying but he continued walking on, still holding her arm in his. Quinn began to wonder if he had even heard her when he slowed to a stop and turned to her.

"When are you going to tell her, Quinn?"

Quinn's eyebrows came together in confusion. "What? Why I call her Rae?"

Kurt shook his head as he reached for the door handle next to them. "That you're in love with her."

Quinn stared at the man dumbfounded, blocking the entrance to the restaurant until he finally put his hand on the small of her back and guided her in. She wasn't in love with Rachel. Was she? She could admit that she was attracted to the tiny brunette. In her mind she couldn't fathom who wouldn't be though. Rachel was perfection. She had the most stunning body, a smile that could make you melt, eyes of liquid joy that sparkled more than all the stars that the singer loved so much. Quinn wasn't given time to process everything that was suddenly bombarding her brain as the diva herself launched into her arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and buried her face into her hair.

Quinn chuckled as she slid her arms around Rachel's waist and hugged her closer. There would be other times to worry about all the feelings that Kurt's question had brought up. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy whatever little time she had with her diva.

"No homicidal maniac pulled me down a dirty alley. I promise."

Rachel pulled back though her body still pressed against Quinn as she smacked the taller woman's arm. "That's nothing to joke about. New Yorks crime rate may be better than it was twenty years ago, but nearly a person a day still gets killed!"

Quinn smiled as she pressed her forehead to Rachel's temple. "You're right. I'm sorry. That's not something to joke about."

Rachel's arms nestled around Quinn again as she sigh, "Damn right it isn't."

Kurt stood watching the scene before him, wondering how he hadn't seen it before. Granted, it had been a while since he'd seen the two women together, but after Quinn's round about revelation, he wondered how he could be so blind not to see it before. Both women had pinged his gaydar more than once over the years, but it was seldom, if ever, that they had rang it so loudly, or about one another.

The threesome caught up over Del Posto's famous lunch prix fixe. It had been years since Quinn had gotten to spend time with the two divas together, and when they had been together; she had way too much teenage angst happening to really enjoy it. Quinn thought back to high school, so much happened in those short four years, that often it felt more like they were part of some twisted fairy tale than real life. She truly felt she would never deserve the relationship they had. Rachel forgave her years ago for all the hell Quinn had put her through: the scheming, the name-calling, the endless slushie facials, all the evil and horrible things she had done. She didn't deserve it, but she knew that Rachel wouldn't let it come between them. Even in high school, Rachel continuously reached out to her.

"So what do you think, Quinn?"

Two brown eyes sparkled as they waited for Quinn to respond.

Quinn tried to remember if she had heard the question at all. She'd been so caught up in just watching them and remembering she had totally missed what they were talking about while waiting for their dessert to be served.

"Uh, yeah, that… that sounds ok?" She responded, hoping it was the right answer.

She began to blush as Kurt snickered. "You have no idea what you even just agreed to, do you?"

Quinn looked between the two divas, wondering how bad she had just screwed herself. "Uh… I… I'm not sure?"

Kurt barked with laughter. "That's what I thought. There is _no_ way you would have agreed if you had been paying attention. "

Rachel huffed her annoyance, though Quinn could see the amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Really, Quinn. This is important."

Quinn reached over and took Rachel's hand into her own, stroking her thumb across her knuckles. "I'm sorry, Rae. So," Quinn resigned herself to following through, no matter what she had just agreed to, "what brand of torture did I just sign up for?"

"You did hear me say that Jonathan Groff wont be joining me as scheduled tomorrow?"

"I… I think I got something along those lines yes."

Kurt sighed dramatically.

"Ok, here's the run down, Blondie, please stop making googley eyes and pay attention this time. Groff's agent called to say that he's come down with some deathly illness but word on the vine is he was caught out and about with a male prostitute and is trying to keep it hush, hush. Either way, he won't be there tomorrow, and Queen Rachel has seen fit for us to rescue her from this huge catastrophe." Kurt rushed out in one breath.

"Us?"

"Have you ever seen the Burt Bacharach, Hal David musical _Promises, Promises_?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Oh, please tell me you're not!" Kurt shrieked.

"Wouldn't it be perfect though?" Rachel squealed, pulling Kurt's hands into her own.

Quinn watched their back a forth, partly amused, and partly exasperated because she had no idea what they were talking about. It was obvious how close the two divas had gotten during their time together in New York.

"Well, yes, it'd be amazing, but who else are we going to get?"

"Are you still in contact with Isabelle Wright?"

"Oh, my own personal fairy godmother? I may be able to contact her. But what about some of the chorus line dancers? They might be a better choice."

"I'm sure we could get Britt to bring some of her people."

Quinn's irritation finally won out over her amusement. "Would someone care to fill me in here?" She snapped.

"Oh, I'm sorry Quinn, I just got excited thinking about it. The first year Kurt and I were in New York, with all that was happening with Finn at the time, and the workshops being offered over the weekend, we decided not to come home for Thanksgiving."

Quinn looked down at the table. She remembered walking out on stage and being surrounded by almost all the people she had grown to care about, before realizing the ones who weren't there. Quinn shook her head and sighed, trying to remember she needed to stay focused on what Rachel was trying to tell her.

"I remember. You two were the only ones to break the promise to come back."

Rachel saw the look in Quinn's eye, even as she tried to look away and felt herself deflate a little bit. It's funny after all they had talked about over the years that particular Thanksgiving was something that had never came up. "You understand why we didn't, right?"

Quinn laid her hand on Rachel's knee. "I do. I just…" Quinn felt her chest grow tight. The ones who came back had dinner together and it was like they had always been friends, always been close. It made her realize how much she missed Rachel at the time, how much she wished they really had been close back then. She understood why she hadn't wanted to come back. It wasn't long after that they'd lost Finn. She just wished that they could have had one more time together with all of them as a group, like they always should have been. Yeah, there was Shue and Emma's almost wedding but they were all drowning in their own drama by that point that it just wasn't the same.

Quinn took a deep breath and gave Rachel a tremulous smile. "I don't know. It doesn't matter now anyway." Quinn sat back and let her smile grow, knowing that Rachel needed the reassurance. "I'm sorry, you were saying? What do you both staying in New York have to do with _Promises, Promises_? And whatever I inadvertently agreeing to helping you with?"

"At the time, I was interning at Vogue .com with the goddess Isabelle Wright. Like us, she didn't have any family in the area and wasn't doing much for the holidays, so on a whim, I invited her to join us."

"And of course, forgot to inform me that not only was she coming, she was also bringing guest."

Kurt waved her off. "Details. Don't tell me you didn't think that party was fabulous."

Rachel nodded. "It was amazing. So Kurt manages to tell me we're having company right as a dozen beautiful drag queens come strolling into our flat. Not five minutes later Isabelle struts in chanting the opening lines to Scissor Sister's _"Let's Have a Kiki"_."

"And everyone but Rachel's loser boyfriend joined in."

"Brody wasn't a loser."

"No, just a man whore who wasn't good enough for you"

"Point taken."

"Rachel breaks out into "Turkey Lurkey" from _Promises, Promises _perfectly mashing the two songs up. Quinn, you would have been impressed."

Quinn squeezed Rachel's knee, remembering her hand was still laying upon the soft skin and chuckled at the light blush that dusted Rachel's cheeks. "She always blows me away."

Kurt practically fanned himself as the two women's eyes locked and both women smiled at each other. He wondered how long he'd be stuck sitting there while they unwittingly made goo-goo eyes at each other. He thought about snapping his fingers to get their attention, but he genuinely wanted to see if they would ever figure it out on their own. If not, he'd have to play fairy godfather and step in.

Kurt looked around the room before giving up. He was never a patient person and they shouldn't expect him to be so just because they were too blind to what was literally right in front of them.

"So you're thinking of having us perform that? On top of a float?"

Rachel blinked before looking back over at Kurt, trying to remember what they'd been talking about.

"Right. The moves are pretty simple. I know you already know it, but we really need a good alto. That's why I'm here to beg you Quinn."

Quinn moved her hand and sat back, crossing her arms. "Rae, I've barely sang since high school. I'm sure you could find much more talented performers than I."

"That's not true, you sing all the time around our condo, and you don't go sharp nearly as often as you used to."

Kurt burst out laughing while Quinn glared at her best friend. "You're not making me want to help you."

"Come on Quinn, it'd be great exposure. You can show everyone what a triple threat you are." Kurt encouraged.

Quinn sighed, wondering how she was going to get out of this. God knows if Rachel got Brittany involved, there would be no way she could say no. She looked over at Rachel, who pinned her with her big, wide, puppy dog eyes. She was so totally screwed.

"That's not fair." Quinn groaned, pointing her finger at the beautiful brunette. "Rae, you know I can't say no to you when you look at me like that." Quinn whined.

Rachel leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder and batted her eyelashes in the most comical, and utterly adorable, way. "That's cheating! Kurt, tell her it's cheating!"

Quinn looked over, hoping for back up, but the grin on his face told her she wasn't just on her own, and hopelessly outnumbered.

"All's fair in love and singing." He quipped, leaning back in his seat as the cute waiter delivered their desserts.

Quinn looked back down at the diva perched on her shoulder as the diva jutted her bottom lip out in a perfect pout and fought the urge to pull it between her own. Quinn looked from Rachel's pleading eyes to her rosy pink lips and back again, surprised to see Rachel's eyes darkening as she pulled her lip between her teeth and sat up, staring in the opposite direction. Quinn stared at her friend in confusion, wondering about the look, but also why Rachel had pulled away like she had.

As Quinn began to pick at the dessert box in front of her, she couldn't help but wonder if Rachel was mad at her. The table seemed uncomfortably quiet and as much as she tried to catch Rachel's eye, the stubborn woman wouldn't even look in her direction. Quinn kicked herself for not caving to Rae's begging immediately. She knew she was going to say yes, not just Rachel was asking, but because it sounded like an amazing experience. She couldn't deny that getting up on a float and acting like they were back in Glee sounded amazing, especially if she could convince them to bring Santana and Brittany along. Granted, if anyone else had asked, she would have turned them down in a heartbeat; but it _was_ Rachel asking and she would do anything for tiny dynamo. Quinn finished off her sparkling wine and sat back, looking at the two divas across from her and nodded to herself.

"So where are we rehearsing?" Quinn asked, breaking the awkward tension that had settled over the table.

Two sets of eyes shot up, blue ones sparkling with pride, brown ones with hope.

"Does that mean you're in?" Rachel asked, elation filling her voice.

"You owe me. Full control of the radio, every song, no complaints, the entire trip." Quinn growled, trying to maintain her tough façade, even though she was fighting back a smile.

Quinn let the smile break across her face as Rachel hugged her from her seat, half expecting the vibrating brunette to climb into her lap when she wasn't able to hug her fully.

"We should go get ready then. I'll call Brittany and see if she will let us use her studio space, maybe get a few more dancers." Kurt rose from the table, giving them both a cheek kiss before heading to the door with a grace most women would envy.

Quinn waited quietly at the table as Rachel signaled their waiter for the check. She looked up at Rachel who still seemed a little standoffish and ran her fingers through her hair, wondering just when that had become a nervous habit she recognized it to be.

"Rae?"

Rachel looked up at the vulnerable note in Quinn's voice.

"Are we okay?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side. Of course Quinn had noticed her pull away, how could she have not; but Rachel wasn't yet ready to explain her actions to her best friend. She'd been teasing and yes, maybe even flirting, but when Quinn's eyes landed on her lips not once, but twice, Rachel couldn't stop where her mind went. She silently begged Quinn to close the small distance between them and when she realized just what she was thinking, she had pulled away, trying to fight down her blush. Damn April and her insistence. Just because they were best friends, and Quinn just happened to be pansexual, and played a lesbian character on their show, and they had shared a kiss or fifty during taping, didn't mean that Quinn actually felt anything for her like that.

"Of course we are, Quinn, why would you even ask?"

Quinn looked at her incredulously. "When you pulled away, I thought you were mad at me for not saying yes."

"Is that the only reason you agreed to do it, Quinn? Because I was mad?" Rachel didn't know if she wanted to be hurt or angry at the thought. "If that's the only reason you did, then you can forget about it. I'm sure we could find someone else." Rachel practically growled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Quinn shot her a glare as she reached over and pulled Rachel's arms down, forcing the upset woman to take her hand. "Stop it. Rae, you know I wouldn't do anything I damn well did not want to do." Quinn said harshly, before stopping to take a deep breath. She bent her head down until she was able to lock her eyes on Rachel's and started again softly. "I didn't say yes because you were mad. I said yes because it sounds like it could be fun. How many people get to say they got to sing on a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float? And with their best friends none the less."

Rachel sighed and shot Quinn an apologetic look. This week had been hell for her and all she really wanted was to crawl into Quinn's arms and let the blonde hold her and tell her everything was okay. She missed her dad's, she missed the warmth of California, she missed getting to cuddle up next to Quinn. She missed Quinn. Rachel signed for their meals and stood up, gathering her coat and bag. She grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled her outside, needing to be away from all the people and noise and chaos and just be for a moment.

She waved at Kurt and motioned for him to give them a minute as she pulled Quinn into a nearby ally. Checking to make sure it was relatively empty, she turned and pulled Quinn into her arms. Rachel felt the taller woman stiffen in her arms for only a moment before they melted into one another.

"I've missed you." Rachel whispered into the lapels of Quinn's coat, playing with the soft hair that barely stuck out from the bottom of the woman's oversized beanie.

"Me too." Quinn sighed as she pulled Rachel closer, the smaller woman's head fitting perfectly beneath her chin. They just fit together naturally. The two women stood in the dirty ally, with the noise and turmoil of the city passing by them, content to just hold each other, living in the moment, when a thought occurred to Quinn.

"Hey Rae?" She waited until the smaller woman hummed into her neck. "Wasn't Kiki B's ghetto version of Siri?"

The sound of Rachel's laughter echoing off the buildings; it's warmth spread through Quinn fought against the cool fall air and won.

* * *

**I'll apologize now for the errors in this chapter. Trying to write and edit with a migraine is nearly impossible. I tried to go back and work on it some but I'm still not sure about this chapter. On a good note, I decided to take time to figure out where this story is going and have a pretty good idea. We're looking at another 8-10 chapters. Maybe more. Because I have ADD and shiny things distract me. **

**I will give you a heads up that there will be a (tiny) bit of angst along the way. I promise it wont be drawn out and I will try to keep enough humor and fluff in there for you not to want to kill me. And for those who are hoping for things to… progress… a little more That will be coming in another two or three chapters. *****wiggly eyebrows***** So look for a higher rating soon. **


	9. Part II Frustration and Floats

**I wanted to add onto the last chapter but didn't want to go through the hassle of reposting it, especially when it's already had so many reads, so this is a short(ish) addition to the previous chapter. I wasn't completely happy with the last chapter though, so I **_**did**_** go back and rework it a bit. If you've already read it, it's not necessary to go back and re-read it. The storyline is mostly the same but it does have more lines, fewer spelling errors, and a bit more fluidity making it an easier read. If you haven't read the first part yet… well color yourself lucky that you get both parts at once. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Frustration and Floats Part 2**

Quinn was absolutely overwhelmed. She'd been to huge award shows, attend crazy premiers, had even gone to a few parades out in LA, but nothing had prepared her for Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. They'd been up for hours and their float had only just begun to move. They planned to sing and play up the crowd along the route, but mostly just wave and smile until they reached Macy's and NBC's cameras. The immense noise seemed to reverb through her body. Quinn grinned as Rachel wrapped her arm around her waist and smiled up at her, looking beyond serene; she was in her element, surrounded by cheering crowds, loving what she got to do.

Rachel danced into Quinn's side, her arm wrapped around Quinn's waist. She didn't want to let go, ever. She leaned into her further, taking in the crowds, the echoes of marching bands and parade goers surrounding them, and quickly decided this was her favorite Macy's parade ever. Rachel had spent the last few days without Quinn and had missed her in that short time more than she had ever missed anyone. She thought her homesickness and longing when she first moved to New York; when Finn and her broke up repeatedly she thought she knew what it was to miss someone. Yet these last few days had shown her just how little she knew on the subject and just how much she had grown to care for Quinn. As she stood surrounded by Quinn's arms, smiling, waving, and enjoying the atmosphere, she could finally admit to herself that she was head over heels for Quinn. She knew it was something she would have to talk to Quinn soon, especially when the tabloids were already starting to link them together. Honestly, it was more to do with herself than the public. Rachel was never one to keep things to herself, especially when it came to her feelings. As she looked up at Quinn, she found herself drowning in sparkling green eyes, and decided for now, she'd just enjoy this.

Rachel tucked her self closer to her best friend, leaning so she could be heard. Quinn shivered as Rachel's lips grazed her ear. "I am so glad I get to share this with you."

Quinn beamed down at the small brunette. "I can't thank you enough for this experience. There is no where in the world that I rather be."

As the two women stared into each others eyes, they knew it was completely true for both of them.

* * *

Rachel looked around the full room and smiled. This had been one of the best Thanksgivings she could ever remember, even topping her first in New York. After the last-minute float change, Kurt had decided to have their Thanksgiving catered in. Kurt's prized sideboard table was overflowing with every type of traditional Thanksgiving dishes. She had been overwhelmed with the smell when she had first walked into their beautiful condo. Everything had been completely perfect. The food tasted as amazing as it had smelled. The decorations were beautiful. And the company was even better. She was completely surrounded by people she cared about and one who cared for her as well. The Glee alumni that were in the area were all in attendance, as were quite a few of her and Kurt's Broadway friends. In high school the members of Glee hadn't been overly close. The last few months of their senior year was the only time Rachel could say they were all truly friends. Yet, even with all that happened during those four years, the time after high school is what had truly made them a family. She was sure that it was Quinn who had said that it would be different, and it was. Sure, they weren't together everyday, and maybe that's what helped them get closer, because no matter what, not matter where they were, be it in New York City, or back home in Lima, or attending the birth or wedding of one of their fellow members scattered across the country, they had remained there for each other. She was sure that Finn's passing had a lot to do with that, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he'd like the thought that he helped bring them together after all this time. These were the people who had become her family –not the ones that were related by blood, but the ones she chose.

She smiled as a scent she would recognize anywhere washed over her a crisp mix of lemon, basil, fresh-cut grass and something that was just distinctly Quinn Fabray. Rachel always thought that she smelled like spring or summer, fresh and warm and new. She didn't turn to acknowledge the woman. She knew Quinn would talk when she was ready and for the moment Rachel was just content to simply watch their friends scattered around the room with half empty plates and glasses enjoying each other's company.

"Why are you over here by yourself?" Quinn's soft voice barely loud enough to be heard over the din of laughter and conversation that filled the room. "Everything okay?"

Rachel looked up to see Quinn mirroring her position, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed just taking in the room. She smiled softly as she looked back towards their friends. "I'm more than okay. Just… happy."

Quinn looked over at the brunette for a brief second before nodding and turning back to the view. "Hmm, me too. I think this is probably the most at peace I've felt for a long time."

"Peacefully looks good on you Quinn."

Quinn looked down when she felt delicate, warm fingers slide around her wrist. She watched the smile slowly spread across Rachel's face as she turned her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"It feels good, too." Not sure if she meant the peace and happiness surrounding her, or the hand pressed against her own. Probably a little of both. "You have a lot to do with that you know."

Rachel leaned back against the door frame, this time turned towards the woman still surveying the crowd, their hands dangling between them. "Feeling good?"

"Mmm, that too. But I meant for me being at peace."

"I can't take credit for that, Quinn."

Quinn smiled over at her briefly and squeezed her hand. "In a round about way, it's kind of because of you." Quinn shook her head, trying to figure out how to put what she was feeling to words. She'd come so far and had gotten better about letting people in, but feelings, or more over, talking about them, was still a somewhat foreign concept for her.

"God knows I was so angry and bitter in high school, I treated you like shit; and before you interrupt, I know you've forgiven me and it's in the past. I treated you like crap and yet you were always the one who tried to be there for me, even when I know I didn't deserve it. You chased after me and made me face myself over and over. For a long time I wanted to hate you for it, but I couldn't, even when I tried. And every time you'd stop me, and look at me like you were utterly disappointed in something I'd done, it tore me down. It made me want to be better. To prove to you that I wasn't just some crazy, evil blonde out to ruin everyone's happiness."

"You were never crazy, Quinn. Misguided, hurting, and so very, very angry, but never crazy. Even before I really knew you, I could see the hurt and the anger that you tried to hide behind a pretty smile and a sun dress. We both made some terrible choices back then, granted some worse than others," she smiled and swung their hands back and forth to ease the barb. "But you did become a better person, the person I suspect was under neither all the barbs and wrath. You did that, Quinn, not me. The only thing I did is encourage you and try to give you a safe place where you didn't have to feel like you needed to hide behind those walls." Rachel shrugged like it was no big thing, but to Quinn it had meant the world, both back then and now.

"And look at us now." Both women looked down to their hands as Rachel tugged Quinn a little closer. "You grew up, Quinn. We all did." Rachel admitted quietly.

Quinn smiled softly as she lifted her hand, lightly brushing her knuckles across Rachel's cheek as she opened her mouth to respond, hesitating over the words for only a moment.

"Rae, you have no idea what you mean to me. If I could go back and change things…"

Rachel smiled and leaned into Quinn's touch, angling her body closer to Quinn's. "Things happen the way they do for a reason."

"Hey, lovebirds!" Santana laughed evilly from the other side of the room as both women jumped in shock. "It's time for dessert and we ain't waitin' on you all night!"

"I'm going to kill her." Quinn mumbled stepping towards her 'friend' with murder in her eyes. Her anger seemed to vanish almost instantly though as two tan arms encircled her waist.

"No, you're not." Rachel laughed as she hugged her best friend, grabbing her hand as she dropped her arms, and pulled her into the kitchen. She had created a slew of desserts over the previous few days, both because she thought they'd all be cooking Thanksgiving dinner together, and as a way of distracting herself from missing her best friend. She looked over at Quinn and couldn't help the way her heart began to race. Rachel was almost glad for the interruption. She wasn't sure how long she would have been able to stop herself from kissing Quinn. The urge was so strong, and with Quinn standing so close, looking so beautifully vulnerable, it wouldn't have taken much for Rachel to close the distance.

Quinn stood to the side of the kitchen island, watching as Rachel set about making sure everyone had everything the needed. She couldn't help but wonder about what was going on between the two of them. Last night, after a grueling day of practicing, the two women had collapsed together in bed, both utterly exhausted. They had long ago given up trying to find an excuse to cuddle and just did so as if it was second nature. Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel as the smaller woman tucked herself into Quinn's side, draping an arm and leg over her, possessively. She was so completely tired that she almost instantly began to drift of to sleep, but right before sleep took her entirely, she could have sworn she felt two soft, warm lips pressed against her neck and vaguely recalled sighing with contentment before drifting off completely. Then tonight before they had been so rudely interrupted, she could have sworn that Rachel was leaning in. She was still trying to remind herself to breath.

The sound of fervent moan broke Quinn from her train of thought and she looked up her friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, my god, I think my mouth just had an orgasm!" Quinn raised an eyebrow as Santana brought another fork full to her lips and moaned loudly. "Berry, what the hell is this?"

Rachel shrugged as she stepped up to the island beside Quinn. "Just a little concoction I came up with a few years ago. It's a double chocolate mousse pie with fresh strawberries and a strawberry compote drizzled with dark chocolate ganache."

"I don't know what you just said, and honestly I couldn't care less because if a pie can make me this wet, you're doing it right." Santana groaned as she shoveled another piece of pie into her mouth, her eyes rolling back in her head as she swooned. Rachel shifted uncomfortably at the thought.

As soon as the plate was clean, Santana dropped it to the counter, grabbed her girl friend, and dragged her from the room.

Quinn sighed and shook her head. "Some things never change."

"Stay off our bed!" Kurt yelled at the departing women.

"Right, well," Rachel sighed as she felt a familiar tightening in her stomach as she tried to shake off the imagery that had inadvertently accompanied the noises she'd heard Santana making moments ago and wondered if Kurt had ever perfected a brain bleaching method. She couldn't believe that had just happened.

"It's the hormone shots." Quinn explained with a shrug. Britt and Santana had decided on getting pregnant and S had just begun taking the shots the week before.

"Oh no, it's definitely the pie. Have you tried it?" Kurt asked, already cutting the blonde a small piece. "I told Rachel she should label it Reine Baie Chocolat Fraise Paroxysme_._ It's a hedonistic delight."

"It's the ingredients. The crust is made with nuts and seeds, and dark chocolate. Both are high in omega-3 and magnesium which helps produce estrogen that increases one's sex drive. Not to mention that almonds, walnuts, and chia sees are a good source of energy for increased sexual stamina. There is a hint of chili powder in the ganache that helps to increase blood circulation and triggers the release of endorphins. And the strawberries are vulvic in appearance when sliced. Overall, I guess that it could be construed as being an aphrodisiac."

The plate Kurt had prepared for Quinn hung in midair as both he and Quinn stared at Rachel dumbfounded. Kurt looked down at the plate and then back up to the two women. "Nope. No. I don't need two sets of lesbians dirtying up my house." Kurt quickly pulled the plate back and spun on his heel, trying to erase images the word "vulvic" produced in his head.

Quinn felt a shiver move sensually down her spine and shook her head. She forced a laugh, trying to shake off the tension that had settled over her. "After all that, I think I have to try some. You could make a killing off the sales if you put that little speech on the back of the box. If it's truly that good no wonder Kurt thought you should call is Queen Berry's Chocolate Strawberry Climax."

Quinn reached over to cut herself a slice when a half-dressed, completely mussed Latina appeared in front of them, snatching the remaining pie from in front of her. "Uh huh, nope. Mine. Get your own, Tubbers." Quinn stared at the departing women in complete disbelief.

"I promise I'll make you one for Christmas." Rachel smiled.

Quinn huffed before a yawn completely overtook her.

"We should head to my place soon." Rachel said softly, rubbing the small of Quinn's back.

"Are we still leaving at what-the-fuck o'clock in the morning?" Quinn asked, leaning into the touch.

"Language, Quinn. Really, it doesn't make you sound like the intelligent woman I know you are."

"Rae." Quinn sighed tiredly.

"Fine. Yes, we are still leaving at an ungodly hour in the morning. We need to be on the road by five to avoid traffic and make it to Hershey World at a decent hour."

"They're open until ten p.m. tomorrow, Rachel. I checked. Why do we have to get up so early?"

Rachel looked around the room, not sure if she wanted to answer.

"You have the entire trip completely scheduled, don't you?"

"I wouldn't go as far as to say completely." Rachel hedged.

"Rachel."

Rachel sighed. "I may have planned a few stops along the way, along with some attractions I thought you might enjoy. I have never taken a road trip with anyone other than my fathers and I thought it would be entertaining. I was planning on getting your approval for each of them first, I assure you."

Quinn shook her head and smiled down at her diva. "It sounds like fun, Rach." Rachel looked up with a huge smile and Quinn knew that seeing that look made it all worth it.

* * *

**Look out, we're going on a road trip! I wonder what Rae has planned for them and if Quinn will want to strangle her before it's over. Look for a short update with the trip on Sunday. Until then :)**


	10. Christmas City and Chocolate

**S****o this chapter is a few days late. My bad. I have never been to any of the places I'm taking our girls, but wanting them, and y'all, to have a memorable experience… well let's say when you combine my love of research, my "oh look something shiny" tendencies, and my mild OCD/perfectionist streak you can expect an update to take a bit longer. Hopefully you enjoy this leg of their trip. 5400 words of complete and utter fluff. Part two of their trip will hopefully be up tomorrow.**

* * *

"Uncle! Uncle!" Rachel laughed from beneath Quinn as Quinn's fingers danced over her skin, finding every ticklish spot on her body.

"Doesn't work. You're mine Berry!"

Rachel continued to be serious, though she could barely catch her breath around the force of her laughing. "I'm always yours."

Quinn stopped moving and looked down at the smaller woman whose eyes shined with laughter and tears of joy and couldn't help but snuggle into the still chuckling woman's neck.

"Quinn, you have to sit up." Rachel giggled as she tried to push her sleepy friend away from her.

Quinn groaned in her seat, realizing as she came to consciousness that the sound of Rachel's giggles weren't coming from her dream but from the seat next to her and cursed her imagination. Quinn sat up, her hair sticking up in every direction, still half way between wake and sleep. The giddiness of her dream lingered in her chest and she looked over at her best friend and grinned, sticking out her tongue.

"I can't help it if you're more comfortable than this seat."

"While that's most likely true, you trying to crawl into my lap while I'm driving may not be the safest thing in the world."

"But Rachie! I'm tired and you make a good pillow!" She teased. Quinn's smile grew as she laid her head on Rachel's shoulder and whined loudly, "Are we there yet?"

Rachel laughed and pushed her away again. "Such a child."

Quinn donned her best pout and looked up through her lashes, trying not to burst out laughing as she put on her best child-like voice. "How much longer? I'm hungry!"

"This is why I told you it would be a good idea to eat before we left." Rachel pointed out, seriously.

Quinn huffed and sat back into her seat, folding her arms over her chest. "And I told you that you were lucky to get me out of bed."

"Well, you should be thankful that I let you sleep in a full extra hour." Quinn was unable to stop her smile. She had spent that extra hour curled around the diva. She was more than thankful for that extra hour. "It's a good thing I know your not a morning person. Check your door." Rachel pointed towards the pocket of Quinn's door without taking her eyes from the road.

Quinn reached down and felt her hand meet solid metal and lifted, grinning widely. "I think I may love you." Quinn's quipped not even registering those words as she cracked open the top of the Stanley Thermos that had been tucked into her door. She unscrewed the lid and placed her nose at the opening, content for the moment to inhale the delicious aroma that filled her nostrils.

"Are you going to drink it or just try to absorb the caffeine through osmosis?" Rachel smiled over at the glowing woman.

"I was trying to figure out if you'd know how to run a central line of this stuff. Need it straight into my veins."

"And they call me dramatic." Rachel chuckled and reached for the radio, only to have her hand knocked away. "Uh-uh. You planned the trip. I plan the music. We had a deal."

Quinn smiled in triumph when the diva frowned and placed her hand back on the steering wheel. "Good girl."

Quinn silently poured her coffee, humming softly as the warm, bitter liquid hit the back of her throat. She watched Rachel, knowing that the silence was going to drive her nuts and wondered how long it would take for the smaller woman to break. She'd honestly been surprised that Rachel hadn't even attempted to turn the radio on in the two hours Quinn had slept since they'd first gotten in the car. Quinn waited, slowly sipping her coffee as she took in the miles of road, fields, and houses that passed by them. She knew it was only a matter of time.

Sure enough, two minutes later the silence was shattered. But not by either of their voices. Rachel looked over at Quinn's stomach and laughed.

"Are you sure you're not part lion? Because your stomach isn't growling, the poor thing is roaring at me."

"It's telling you that you better feed it before it decides to devour you. I know you've prepared everything and then some for this trip, so where are the snacks?"

Rachel shook her head, "No snacks for you. At least not yet."

Quinn glared at the woman, who seemed completely unaffected. She wasn't sure when her glower stopped intimidating the little diva, and as much as it irritated her, it kind of made her want to smile.

"Rae! I'm starving!" Quinn whined playfully.

"You are not starving. Children in Africa are starving. Homeless children in America are starving. You are not starving."

"My stomach tends to disagree."

"Your stomach is a rather fearsome creature, so again, it is a good thing I know you so well."

"Yes, you do. Better than anyone in the world. And therefore you know I get cranky if I don't get fed at regular intervals."

Rachel smiled over at Quinn. She knew it was true. Quinn really was like a little kid some times –she was always more cranky when she was tired or hungry. She knew Quinn was right about knowing her better than anyone else too. That was something that went both ways: she was aware that Quinn knew more about her than almost anyone. It was all the little things, things no one else would even think to ask. They were things Quinn didn't even have to ask, because she actually listened when Rachel talked. Not many people actually did.

"Yes, well, I also knew that even if you had eaten before we left, though the possibility was marginal, that you'd be hungry again within a few hours. Therefore, one of our first stops is at Christmas City for breakfast with St. Nicholas."

Quinn snorted. "Seriously?"

Rachel looked over at her for a brief second before returning her eyes to the road. "Am I serious that I knew you wouldn't eat before we left, that you'd be hungry shortly after regardless, or that we are having breakfast with a fictional entity meant to bring joy and happiness to young children?"

Quinn thought about it. "Really, all of it, but I guess I was asking if there really is some place called Christmas City?"

"Well, yes to the all the above, though Christmas City is just the moniker Bethlehem, PA goes by for the holidays."

Quinn bobbed her head from side to side. "I guess that makes sense. I mean, Bethlehem? I'm surprised they don't have a huge star hanging over head leading everyone there." Rachel rolled her eyes. "So how long until we reach the fabled city of Jesus' birth? And please don't tell me they're going to make us eat in out of a manger or something equally as weird."

"You need more coffee. Your jokes are horrible."

"It's barely eight a.m. don't judge me." Quinn bit out, before drinking more of her coffee. "Coffee is my friend."

"So am I."

"If you were my friend, you'd be feeding me right now."

"We only have half an hour until we reach Bethlehem, Quinn."

"And by the time we get there, I may just be hungry enough to eat baby Jesus! Did you not hear the caged animal in my stomach growling at you?"

"I think baby Jesus heard her growling."

"EXACTLY! I need food!"

Rachel huffed and motioned for Quinn to hand her her bag from the back seat. She blindly dug around her bag until her fingers happened upon what she was searching for. "Just so you know, I do this under duress. I really was saving this for later, so you better appreciate it now."

Quinn watched as Rachel's hand emerged from her bag holding an oblong package wrapped in brown baking paper. As she began to fold back the paper she couldn't help the girly squeak that left her lips.

"Is that…"

"Yes."

"You cooked me…"

Rachel scrunched up her nose. "Yes."

"It's real bacon?"

"Yes, Quinn, I cooked you real bacon. I hope you are happy to know that I care for you enough to participate in the slaughter of helpless creatures."

Quinn beamed happily as she bit into a piece of thick, perfectly cooked bacon, too happy to respond to Rachel. As she chewed she nodded to herself –it was official. She was completely in love with the beautiful, alluring, slightly annoying, completely sweet and amazingly talented, Rachel Berry. Anyone who would make her bacon was good in her books, but for someone who despised meat to do so, just made her swoon a little bit. She decided to reward her love by finally turning on some music. She settled on her Christmas playlist to show her appreciation, making sure the first song that played was Rachel's favorite, _Last Christmas_. She had actually made a ton of playlist for the trip, far more than they'd be able to listen to even if there trip went on for weeks, but she knew that there were only three list that she'd probably choose from and all the songs on them had been chosen specifically for the woman sitting next to her.

* * *

After their breakfast with Santa, which as they had expected had been aimed at young children, the two women wandered around the Christmas-themed marketplace, stopping at different artisan booths to pick up small last-minute gifts for their friends and family. She'd allowed Quinn to talk her into observing a glass blowing demonstration and the two women stuck around to create their own ornaments. Rachel had only planned on spending an hour or two in the beautiful town, but when Quinn had begged her to wander the market, she couldn't say no.

"I'm sorry I threw your schedule off." Quinn said softly, swinging their hands between them as they finally headed back to the car.

"Don't be. I know I said I had everything planned, but really, other than one stop, everything is adjustable."

"Are you going to tell me what else we're going to be doing?"

Rachel thought it over as they stored their finds in the trunk of her Nissan Roadster. "Maybe not all the stops. I guess I should have asked before, but you don't need to be back in Lima anytime soon do you?" Rachel asked over the top of the car before climbing into the driver's seat. She looked over at Quinn as she buckled her seatbelt and waited for her to answer.

"I don't know? Do we have to be there anytime soon?"

"I don't understand, I just asked you that."

"Rae, I'm here with you. I'm going with you. I told you, I don't really have anything back in Lima waiting for me, so whatever you have planned, I'm good with. I promised Beth we'd be there on Christmas Eve, but other than that, I'm all yours."

Rachel smiled and squeezed Quinn's hand. "I promised Dad and Daddy that we'd be there for the first night of Hanukkah, which means we have eight days until we have to be home. So what do you say we just play it by ear. I'm sure here are a hundred little towns like this along the way that each have something we could find to do."

"You really want to throw out your itinerary?"

"Maybe not completely, but…" Rachel just shrugged, "The whole point of this trip was to spend time together and with everything that happened in New York, we really didn't get that."

Quinn bit back a small grin, happy to know that she wasn't the only one who had missed their time together during those few days.

Rachel looked down at their clasped hands and debated telling Quinn her real reasoning. When she looked up, she saw so many of her own feelings reflected in the hazel eyes staring into her own, waiting for her to continue, and knew it was what Quinn needed to hear.

"I just want to spend as much time with you as I can before I have to share you with everyone." She admitted with a shy smile.

Quinn's eyes twinkled with joy and unconstrained happiness as she playfully nudged Rachel's shoulder with her own. "Pssshhh, you're going to have to detach me from your side first. You promised not to leave my side."

Rachel grinned and nodded. "A promise I intend to keep."

"You better, Berry!" Quinn said affectionately.

"So, next stop, Hershey, Pennsylvania."

Quinn wasn't sure what to expect when Rachel began to tell her about Hershey Park. She expected that Hershey, Pennsylvania would have a factory tour and probably every bit of chocolate history ever, but a theme park? Rachel had assured her there was more to do there than just eat chocolate, and learn about chocolate, but she'd honestly been surprised by the number of rides and attractions the place had, and the number of people on the chilly afternoon. They had grabbed a bite to eat before leaving Bethlehem and had made good time, arriving in the chocolate capital shortly after two, leaving eight hours of chocolaty fun. She was sure her brain was going to explode from excitement. Right.

After two hours, the highlight of the day had been the "factory tour" which was a highly frightening "roller-cow-ster". Quinn really wished she was kidding.

"Stop it."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and lifted an eyebrow.

"You're grumbling too loud." Rachel sighed and crossed her arms.

"I wasn't even saying anything."

"Ok, well you were thinking too loud then and I could hear it. I know that this wasn't exactly the most thrilling place to stop but could you at least pretend that you're enjoying yourself."

Rachel had never been to Hershey Park, or any theme park for that matter. And yeah, okay, this was probably the most cheesy theme park east of the Mississippi but she was still determined to have fun.

Quinn sighed and wrapped her arm around Rachel's back. "I'm sorry. It's just this is all so corny that I forgot the reason we were here was to have fun."

Rachel leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder. "We can always go find something else to do."

Quinn looked down into two sad brown eyes and shook her head before she even realized she was doing so. "No, you planned this and we're already altering your perfectly planned out itinerary." She turned to face Rachel, running her hands up and down the smaller woman's arms. "I know sometimes I can be a little difficult and I'm really not meaning to be, Rae. It really does me a lot to me that you planned all this. I just sometimes revert to high school where I hate everything and nothing can make me happy and… well it's stupid and it doesn't really make any sense. It just happens." Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and pressed their foreheads together. "Can you forgive me?"

Rachel saw the sincerity in Quinn's hazel eyes and pulled her arms around the taller woman's neck, moving to press her check against Quinn's. "Always."

Quinn slid her hand up Rachel's arms, until their fingers tangled together at the nap of her neck, smiling as she spun the Broadway superstar away from her in a perfectly rehearsed dance move –that they honestly never rehearsed, smiling as the small diva laughed in delight.

"So," Rachel smiled as she twirled back towards the blonde, "now that you plan to be on your best behavior, we have somewhere to be." Quinn hummed in question as she intertwined their gloved fingers and continued their little dance. "All part of the experience, Quinn. And right now, we are going to go experience Santa's Secret Garden."

Quinn shook her head as Rachel began to drag her to their destination. "What else do you have planned for us, my little Christmas elf?"

Rachel smiled back at Quinn. "Was that just a dig at my height?"

"Maybe."

"Well then, maybe I don't want to tell you."

"Then maybe I'll just have to tickle it out of you."

Rachel stopped and looked at the woman eyeing her dubiously. "You wouldn't." She stepped back as Quinn slowly stepped closer. "Quinn, you know I dislike being tickled. It was previously used as a form of torture and I still find it to be…" Rachel squealed as Quinn descended on her and the little diva twirled on her heel, running through the thin crowds of children, parents, Santas and elves that filled the garden. She was almost bowled over as she stopped suddenly to keep from running over a small child. Quinn grabbed her around the waist, picking her up and swirling her to keep them both from falling over. All thoughts of how corny and lackluster the park had been fled Quinn's mind as she felt filled with absolute joy.

"Uncle!" Rachel giggled before Quinn even had a chance to tickle her. "I give, I give."

"Smart woman." Quinn settled her arm over Rachel's shoulders as they walked through the winter garden, even if the temperature hovered in the mid-fifties.

"I am completely brilliant, thank you for noticing." Rachel beamed, letting her arm circle around Quinn's back.

"So, what else are we doing tonight?"

"Well, I figured we might as well spend the night here, since we've planned on taking on our time. The park has a few hotels and resorts so when I bought our tickets, I got us a suite at Hershey Lodge."

"Sounds like a good idea. We can get a good nights sleep, have breakfast and do a bit of shopping before we head out."

"That was my logic. I still have to get Daddy his mandatory five-pound Hershey bar."

"Who in god's name needs a five-pound Hershey bar?"

"Apparently daddy."

"Right. That reminds me, I don't know much about Hanukkah, but I know you traditionally get each other presents for each night. What should I get your dads?"

"Quinn, I assure you, it's not necessary for you to get them anything."

"Rae, I love your dads. They've always treated me amazing, even when I really, really didn't deserve it. Plus, I'm sure if you've told them that I'll be joining you and I know LeRoy and Hiram will have a gift for me, and I just wouldn't feel right not showing up with something for each of them. Not to mention I'm going to be staying at your dads' house for almost a month."

"I already labeled the gifts I got them from both of us, Quinn."

Quinn stopped and dropped her arm from Rachel's shoulder. "Rae…." She sighed, she didn't even know why the thought irritated her, but it did. "I…"she shook her head. It wasn't something worth arguing about, and right now, "I need food. When is this agenda of yours going to feed me again?"

Rachel knew that wasn't what Quinn was really thinking, or even why she had stopped. She hadn't meant to offend Quinn or overstep her bounds –really she hadn't even given it a second thought when she had put Quinn's names on the packages. She wanted to explain it to Quinn, but really she didn't even particularly understand it herself. It just felt normal, like something she had done a hundred times before, though she knew it was something new. She was just glad that Quinn decided to let it go and decided unless the blonde brought it back up, she would too.

"How does a little Christmas dinner theater sound?"

Quinn lifted a shoulder as she shoved her hands in her pockets. "It sounds like something you'd enjoy. I'll just be happy if there's food." Quinn tried to smile but was having a hard time with it.

"Well the rather garrulous customer service attendant informed me when I made our reservation that the lodge we're staying in have a very nice dinner theater show that I thought we could attend."

"As long as you promise not to tell me every two minutes that you could do it better, or that the lead keeps going sharp, or try to join them on stage, then it sounds like it could be fun."

Rachel bounced and clapped her hands together. "And after we'll have to find some hot cocoa and cookies and take a drive through Hershey's Sweet Lights. It's a drive through all these huge Christmas light displays. What do you think?"

"As long as you're by my side, I think it sounds amazing." Quinn admitted softly.

* * *

Quinn woke up with a groan. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd been this tired, other than when she was pregnant, and she was used to running Sue Sylvester's Cheerios Drills. It was like someone had drained her battery and she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through another day of sitesightseeing with the Energizer Bunny still asleep in the next bed. She shifted uneasily as she looked over at the sleeping woman. How could someone look so perfect even when they slept? Seriously, when Quinn woke up, she looked like she was part animal, her hair sticking up in every direction, drool at the corner of her mouth, bags under her eyes. Rachel? She looked like she could wake up and walk onto the cover of a magazine, not a hair out of place. Quinn decided it was totally unfair.

It felt odd not waking up with Rachel draped over her. She'd tried to hide her disappointment when the other woman had climbed into the second bed the night before. It was silly for her to assume that just because they often shared a bed at home, that they would do so while traveling too. She had never felt like she did waking up next to Rachel and it was something she'd grown to crave. It wasn't like she'd never fallen asleep with someone else, it occurred often when she was dating someone. It was that none of them had prepared her for what it would be like to fall asleep with and wake up next to Rachel Berry. It was pure love and joy bursting from every inch of skin that pressed against her. It was the feeling of being dizzy and euphoric as the scent of Rachel's hair and skin lingered in her nose. It was the longing ache that settled lower in her body as Rachel's leg pressed between her own. She was woefully unprepared and yet completely in love with the feeling of the way the smaller woman felt in her arms, the smell of her, the way they fit so perfectly together.

Quinn wasn't blind nor stupid –she knew what was happening between them. Quinn wasn't sure how it happened but she was sure they are falling in love with each other and it made her smile. Rachel had always been an affectionate person, but now it was as if she craved Quinn's touch, almost as much as Quinn felt the need to touch Rae. Their nightly cuddles had become an addiction for Quinn and she couldn't help but want more; she couldn't help but wonder when they'd finally take the tiny step left that would completely change their relationship.

If she were honest with herself it was that step, that small shuffle by this point, which terrified Quinn. She couldn't imagine not having Rae in her life and worried that finally acting on what they had both been feeling for so long could completely ruin everything. Quinn rolled from bed silently and searched for her work out clothes. As tired as she was, she knew sleep wouldn't be returning and decided she needed to work off some of the nervous energy that suddenly filled her. She left a quick note for the brunette, leaving it on the nightstand where she was sure to see it. She looked down at the sleeping beauty and sighed, fighting the urge to bend down and brush her lips across the diva's forehead, she turned and made her way down to the lodge's well-equipped gym.

Putting her worries out of her mind as she queued up the treadmill, she thought over the night before. It had been truly magical. Yes, the dinner theater had been a bit cheesy but it was still fun. It was the type of place she could see bringing her future children, or maybe Beth if Shelby allowed it. She knew her little mini-me would have loved it, especially if her Broadway star big sister was there with them. She'd probably have to hold her down the same way she did Rachel. She smiled to herself as she remembered the feeling of Rachel's thigh under her hand as she kept a hold of the women to keep her from jumping up and belting out the songs along with the small chorus line, not that she was complaining.

Shortly after dinner they had climbed into Rachel's car and drove the short distance to two miles of woods and Christmas lights, their fingers intertwined as they took in the captivating lights. They traded their favorite (and least favorite) holiday stories in between singing along to whatever Christmas carol happened to be playing on the radio. The hug she received when they returned to the hotel still lingered on her skin. If she hadn't known before that moment that she was in love with Rae, that hug would have blindsided her. It was the way that Rachel pulled her in, as if she were desperate for the contact, as if she had been without it for far too long, a feeling that echoed within Quinn as she ran her hands up and down Rachel's back. Rachel laid her forehead against Quinn's pulse point and just sighed in contentment. Quinn knew she had to feel how fast her heart was racing in that moment, but she hadn't commented on it. Quinn simply melted into the hug, allowing Rachel to crush her with the emotional passion that the diva was always overflowing with. She had never had a hug that was so intensely intimate, so moving, that it made her breath catch in her throat and her eyes water with the power of it. When Rachel had pulled away, she had kissed Quinn's cheek before going to get ready for bed. Maybe that build up was why she was so disappointed that Rachel had felt the need to sleep alone, even if she was less than two feet away.

Quinn was pulled from her thoughts as a man tapped her shoulder, asking if she was almost done with the treadmill. It was only then that she realized she'd been running for almost an hour, lost in her thoughts of a tiny brunette she suddenly had an intense longing to see. She apologized and quickly went through her cool down before deciding to make a stop on her way up to their room.

Rachel woke up with a smile, a dream of beautiful hazel eyes and soft pink lips slowly fading from her conscious mind. She slowly rolled on to her side, wanting to have a few minutes of quiet before she greeted the day. She loved her quiet time in the morning when Quinn was still sleeping. She often found herself staring at the blonde when they'd end up lying together. She had wanted to crawl in with Quinn the night before, but her emotions had been too high. Her heart had absolutely ached for the nearness of Quinn but she did not trust herself not to do something she deemed unwise at the moment. The last few days had assured her that the attraction she felt for Quinn was more than mutual. She didn't want their first real kiss to be fueled by her lust and inability to control herself; she wanted it to be perfect when they finally took the step of becoming more than friends.

Rachel started at the sound of the door opening and looked over the Quinn's bed to find it empty and tried to swallow her panic. She began to breathe a sigh of relief when Quinn's blonde hair peaked around the corner, but her breath caught in her throat. Quinn stood before her in a sports bra and yoga pants, her skin sparkling with a light sheen of sweat. She'd obviously been working out but Rachel's brain was having problems processing much of anything as she stared at Quinn's delectable abs. Rachel let her eyes slowly drift upward, licking her lips as she dragged her gaze over the gratuitous amount of cleavage being shown off by the tight black and pink sports bra. By the time her eyes finally reached Quinn's she was almost panting. Rachel almost moaned at the cocky smirk and darkened eyes that stared back at her.

"Did you hear a word I said?" Quinn's voice had dropped an octave. She'd never been so turned on by just a look before in her life.

Rachel shook her head slowly, not trusting her voice, as she fought the blush that was filling her cheeks.

"Breakfast is being brought up and we have a spa appointment before we take off. So you need to get up and get moving." Quinn waited for Rachel to drag her eyes upward again and smiled to herself. Oh yeah, she still had it. "Rae? Get dressed. I'm going to go shower."

Rachel nodded as she watched the woman turn towards their en suite, her eyes glued to Quinn's ass. Rachel fell to the bed with a huff after Quinn looked over her shoulder knowingly and winked, wondering if it was possible to die of sexual frustration. She turned her head as she heard the water in the bathroom start and decided she'd have to take care of the problem herself. Just as she began to slide her hand down her stomach she heard a knock at the door and groaned, reaching down to cup the ache between her legs before she unsteadily rose from the bed. She seriously hoped the spa was all it was cracked up to be because she knew she was carrying a lot of tension and knew there would be no way to ease it before Quinn was back in the room.

"Damn that woman and her gorgeous body." Rachel huffed as she walked to the door and threw it open.

* * *

**I was out for most of the holiday weekend and came back to 100 reviews, almost 200 followers, and 60 favorites and we're not even half done! You guys have amazed me with your reviews, follows, and favorites! Thank you guys so much! We're finally getting to the meat of the story.**


	11. Answers and Jealousy

**So I was supposed to be writing a research paper that my professor so kindly sprung on us, but a few reviews asked some pertinent questions (you'll know who you are when you read this). The answers kept disrupting my research so I decided to get this out so the muses would leave me alone. And let's be honest, this is so much more fun to write than a research paper. Seeing as I really, really should be working on that paper though, this is completely unedited. This is my longest chapter yet so that could mean a LOT of errors. You have been warned.**

* * *

After Quinn had treated them to Hershey Lodge's Chocolate Spa package the two women spent a few hours shopping before finally returning to the road. All in all, it had been a fun experience. Rachel was happy that they though they hadn't adhered to her precisely planned out schedule, they had been able to do a few of the things she had on her list. There was really only one more that she had in mind that she knew they were going to do regardless. It had been planned out from almost the moment Quinn had agreed to the trip.

The women agreed that if they saw something that looked even remotely interesting along the way, they would stop. They took turns pointing out billboards, landing them in some of the oddest and most amusing places along Interstate 80. It had been an interesting trip for both of them. They'd stopped by various Amish shops and stands, picking up gifts and little things for their condo. Somewhere around State College, PA Quinn had spied a road sign saying "Giant Cow" and they'd followed it until they found a giant cow sitting on top of a restaurant. Quinn had allowed Rachel to tease her until the little brunette insisted they drive an hour out of the way to visit the home of Punxsutawney Phil, the world-famous groundhog. They had saw a sign for "America's Only All Water Cavern" and had spent more than a few hours taking a boat tour and pretending to be prosecutors lost in a labyrinth maze. In all, what began as a ten hour drive had grown exponentially and it had taken them three days before they had even hit the border of Ohio.

"God, I am so tired!" Rachel sighed as she dramatically fell back on to the bed in their final hotel stay in Pennsylvania.

"You're the one who decided you wanted to go shopping for the last eight hours and then bring every bag up to the room to sort." Quinn spread her arms to indicate the massive amounts of bags and luggage strewn over most of the room.

"Yes, well, one must always be organized. I figured if we got this part out of the way, then we could enjoy the rest of our trip."

"I would have enjoyed it more without having to make three trips to the parking lot to carry all of this up." Quinn snipped.

Rachel waved her off, knowing that a tired Quinn was often a cranky Quinn. "You're the one who refused to allow the bell boy to help bring everything up."

Quinn rolled her eyes knowing it was true. She just hated feeling like she was abusing such privileges. "So how are we going to go about this? Because I honestly can't remember whose bags are whose."

Rachel turned her head to the side and eyed the bags before looking up at Quinn. The blonde stood with her hands on her hips, much like her cheerleading stance in high school, currently glaring at all the bags. She wondered how the look that once made her cower in fear now made her realize just how utterly cute the woman was. The need to hug that look away was overwhelming. Her heart-felt like it was going to leap from her chest and her arms physically ached with the need. And really, who was she to deny herself the wonder of being held by Quinn. She slowly rose from the bed, stepping over bags and around suitcases until she finally stood beside Quinn.

"What?" Quinn couldn't help but feel a bit weirded out by the look Rachel was giving her. Rachel was grinning from ear to ear and looked like she was ready to leap on her.

Rachel shook her head and slid her arms around Quinn's waist and buried her nose in the taller woman's neck. "Have I told you how amazing this trip has been?"

Quinn chuckled and dropped her arms to Rachel's back, pulling her closer. "I know you had this whole plan and changed it just for me. So really, it was all your doing."

Rachel shook her head, moving back to Quinn's shoulder so she could look up at the woman, refusing to let go. She stared into Quinn's eyes, loving how they seemed to lighten to a sea green when she was content, happy.

"I'd do anything for you."

Rachel's whispered confession made Quinn's heart skip a beat, her stomach flip, her breath catching in her throat. It was like all those silly cliché romantic tropes coming to life; things that she honestly never believed happened to people. Yet here Rachel was in her arms making her feel each and every one of them. Quinn moved her eyes from rich chocolate ones, down creamy skin, to Rachel's lush pink lips and back up again. She felt Rachel's breath catch as both of their heads slowly moved closer.

"Quinn."

The sound of Rachel's voice, the one word whispered across Quinn's lips, felt like heaven, and sounded like a plea and a warning. Quinn shook her head and leaned back.

"We, uh, we should get through this stuff."

Rachel sighed heavily and stepped back, wondering what had just happened. They'd been so close and she knew that Quinn wanted that kiss as much as she still wanted it. She'd seen the look in Quinn's eyes, felt the way her heart beat against her chest.

"Quinn?"

Quinn knew what Rachel was asking just by saying her name. It was a question of why she had stopped, why she had pulled back, and it was one Quinn wasn't even sure she could answer. Was she really that afraid of ruining their friendship? Was she actually afraid of intimacy as one of the few woman she dated suggested? She wasn't sure but right now, surrounded by shopping bags, in a nice hotel, but still a hotel none the less, it just didn't feel right. She looked over at Rachel apologetically and saw the woman's heart breaking before her eyes.

"No, Rae." She shook her head and pulled the woman into her arms. She needed her to know that she wasn't rejecting her. No matter how afraid Quinn was, she wanted this; she _needed_ to see where this would go for them. She pulled back and ran her fingers along Rachel's cheek. "Soon, okay. Soon." She promised as she pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead.

Rachel threw her arms around Quinn's neck and held tightly, nodding her acceptance. She felt her throat tighten and nodded again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to cry from sadness at the thought that Quinn didn't want this, out of frustration for the almost and maybes, or out of joy at Quinn's quiet promise. Right now though, she just needed Quinn to hold her.

The woman stood, arms wrapped tight around each other, until Rachel finally nodded and stepped back, taking a shuddering breath. She reached down and wrapped her hand in Quinn's, looking up at her uncertainly.

"Are we going to talk about this?" She hated to ask, but she was growing desperate.

"Let's just enjoy this for now. We'll talk when the time is right."

Rachel sighed deeply wanting to ask when that may be but knowing that pushing Quinn was never the right thing to do. She wanted to be happy in the moment, but right now, she felt like someone had just told her that her dog had died. Not that she had a dog, but if she did, she was sure that's how this would feel. She dropped Quinn's hands and began to dig through the bags on the bed in front of them, organizing the gifts into piles.

"Rae?"

Quinn bit back a groan when the woman didn't answer her or look in her direction.

"Rachel? Come on don't be like this."

"Be like what?" Rachel asked as she studiously kept her eyes diverted from Quinn.

Quinn reached for her hand, stopping Rachel from her almost frantic movements. "Don't be hurt, okay? Don't shut me out."

Rachel's eyes snapped up, full of fire. "You're the one shutting me out."

Quinn straightened her shoulders, trying to bit back her frustration and irritation. She'd gotten a much better hold on her temper over the years, but there were still times it seemed to flare to life. "No, I'm asking you to give me a little bit of time."

"Fine. Take all the time you need." Rachel snatched her hand back and turned back towards the bed. She didn't know what the hell was wrong with her or even why she was getting angry. She knew that this was a huge step for them, and she worried what it might do to them in the long run, but it was a risk that she was willing to take, because she honestly could see a long term thing with Quinn. She knew Quinn was the type who took longer to process and act. Even in high school, she would plan meticulously before jumping into something; the one exception being Puck and look how that turned out. Rachel shook her head, trying to convince herself that she needed to calm down as she reached into another bag. It had to be one of Quinn's. She looked at the double stainless steel shaving kit and lathering bowl and cocked her head to the side. She didn't think it was the type of gift Quinn would get one of the boys from Glee and she honestly couldn't think of any other men in Quinn's life who she would buy something like that for. It was the type of gift you'd get your father, but Quinn hadn't spoken to her dad in over ten years. Rachel clinched her jaw, knowing almost instantly, and the anger that she had almost managed to push back rocketed back to life.

"Who are these for?" Rachel turned angrily towards Quinn, glaring at her.

Quinn looked down at the items in Rachel's hands and shrugged. "Your dads?"

Rachel shook her head, pissed. "I told you you didn't have to do this. I already got them gifts from us."

"Which you shouldn't have!" Quinn snapped back.

"I don't see what the big deal is!"

"Of course you don't!" Quinn snatched the gifts from Rachel's hands and sat them on the bed. Quinn turned to stalk and stopped as her foot hit a bag. She growled and it took everything in her not to kick it across the room. When she was mad, she paced, and she couldn't pace, because of course, there had to be bags everywhere. And it just made her angrier.

"Well then explain it to me!"

Quinn turned back towards the diva. "You wouldn't understand!" Quinn yelled, stepping over bags and around the infuriated diva.

"I can't understand if you don't tell me what the issue is? What, Quinn, did I stupidly make some sort of implication by getting them a joint gift? Did I overstep some invisible barrier? What is the damn big deal? So what? I put your name on a handful of gifts?"

Quinn stopped her trek to the bathroom and spun around. "It's not about any of that, Rachel! God, it's not even about you or us! I could give a shit less about what implications it makes!"

Rachel threw her hands up in the air, internally breathing a sigh of relief. "Then why Quinn?" She asked, softening her voice. "Why does it matter so much?"

Quinn felt her anger fizzle under Rachel's intense stare. She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed where Rachel had been laying. Quinn placed her elbows on her knees and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I… I don't know."

Rachel was on the move as soon as she heard Quinn's voice break. In the few seconds it took her to cross the room she noticed Quinn's shoulders begin to shake.

"Hey, hey now." She knelt in front of the trembling woman and pulled Quinn into her arms, feeling tears coat her neck almost instantly. She ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, whispering quietly as she wondered where this was coming from. Slowly Quinn began to calm. Rachel sat back on her heels and dried the few tears still staining Quinn's face. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"

Quinn sighed and shook her head. She really didn't but she knew that Rachel deserved an explanation. "It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway?"

Quinn looked into Rachel's desperate brown eyes and nodded. "Did you know your dads call me?" She asked softly.

Rachel turned her head a bit in confusion. "I know they have asked to talk to you a few times when we have our weekly calls."

Quinn shook her head. "Even before you moved out. For the last three years they just call, to see how I'm doing, I guess. I don't know." Quinn looked up and could tell Rachel was still confused. "Remember about four years ago when I flew in to New York for Thanksgiving."

Rachel nodded. She had been stuck working for most of Quinn's trip and had only saw her for a few hours on Thanksgiving day but she remembered because it was one of the few holidays they shared together before this week.

"You were working and your dad's decided it was their job to keep me company."

"I remember them being affectionate towards you that night but I never really thought anything about it."

Quinn smiled and shook her head, fighting off her tears. "Your dads are so great, Rae. They're everything my family never was. Open, caring, loving. I ended up telling them about my home life. I'm guessing you must have told them a lot because they seemed to know a good deal of it already."

"I tell my daddies everything."

Quinn nodded, already knowing that fact. "They asked me for my number before I left. I really didn't think anything of it at the time, but shortly after the New Year, I got a call from them. And they kept calling. Once a month, they call, just to see how I'm doing, what's new in my life." Quinn choked on her tears, knowing it was pointless to try to stop them, she let the tears fall. "I never had that before. Mom tried for a bit after Beth, but I never felt that unconditional parental bond with her, and definitely not with my dads."

Rachel smiled, it sounded just like something her parents would do, and she was more than thankful they'd gone out of their way to make Quinn feel special. "I know that meant a lot to you. I didn't know." Quinn shrugged her shoulder like it was no big deal, but they both knew it was a lie. Rachel ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, trying to sooth her, but she still wasn't connecting all the dots. "What does this have to do with the presents though?"

Quinn lightly shook her head and leaned into Rachel's touch as the woman cupped her cheek, wiping her tears with the pad of her thumb. "Remember I told you this was stupid. I just… I never… when my dad was around, we never had holidays like normal families. It was so formal and business-like. The only part of Christmas that was enjoyable for me was the night before, when Frannie and I would stay up late and exchange the gifts we got each other because we were actually allowed to show emotion and laugh and enjoy each other's company. We would never get up on Christmas morning to run down and open presents like you see in the movies. Even as kids, Fran and I were expected to wait until a respectable hour, when our chef would serve us breakfast. Then we would calmly pass out the presents. We only got one gift each and usually it was something practical, but impersonal. The gifts from us to our parents weren't really from us. My mother would buy everything and just put our names on it."

"Which is why it was such a big deal when I put your name on the gifts? God, Quinn, I'm so sorry."

Quinn shook her head. "I guess that's part of it."

Rachel moved to sit next to Quinn, her knees groaning in protest after kneeling for so long. She slipped her arm around Quinn's waist and waited for the other woman to lean into her side before she asked, "What's the rest of it then?"

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out. She still hated being vulnerable, hated crying even more, but she knew that Rachel wouldn't look at her any different for it. Even so, she was almost glad that she didn't have to look at Rachel when she explained what to her seemed almost childish.

"It's not just the name thing. It's the fact that I never got to get my father anything. I never had a dad, I had a father. A father who rarely smiled, who never showed affection, who would rather lift his hand in anger than out of love. Your dads have been better parents to me, just by calling, than my own parents were my entire life. And, I don't know, I guess I was excited to actually spend a real holiday with parents who were open, and loving, and affectionate. Who would open a gift and know that it was given out of love, and that the person who had gotten it had put a lot of thought and effort into it. Whose eyes would light up in happiness over the simplest things."

"And I took that away from you." Rachel felt like such an idiot.

Quinn shrugged. "You didn't know."

Rachel pulled Quinn closer. "I should have asked."

Quinn sat up a bit and wiped her face. "I probably wouldn't have told you. I would have let you do it."

Rachel pulled her leg under her as she turned towards Quinn, her brows knitted together in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense, Quinn. If it meant so much to you, why wouldn't you have told me? Why didn't you say something when I first mentioned it?"

Quinn looked down at the patterned carpet, kicking it with her toe. "Sometimes it's just easier to go along with it. That's how my family was. If there was a problem, we didn't talk about it. If there was something that we didn't agree with, we kept it to ourselves. I'm getting better with it, with talking, but sometimes it's hard. I don't always understand why I'm even upset. I just… I get angry and I don't know why something even bothers me."

"Is that why you pulled away when we first talked about it?"

Quinn nodded. "I was mad. I didn't even know why I was mad though, or why it bothered me so much. I tried to keep my anger from you, because I knew you didn't deserve it. On a certain level I knew you were just trying to make things easier on me, but it really irritated me. I guess I really didn't understand it myself until we started fighting about it."

"I'm sorry I got so mad."

Quinn turned, echoing Rachel's position on the bed. "Me too. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I was angry over you refusing to talk about us and I took it out on you about the gifts. If it makes any difference, I think they'll love the shaving kits."

"Rae?" Quinn hesitated as she played with Rachel's fingers. "It's not that I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it's obvious we're both attracted to each other, I just… I like that right now there is no pressure and I… everything seems to have just developed so naturally and I'm afraid if we talk about it, or push it, that it's going to become awkward and I don't want that."

Quinn looked up to see if Rachel understood and found the woman smiling at her, the adoration and love coming from Rachel's gaze making her want to melt where she sat. She felt Rachel turn her hand to grasp Quinn's, giving it a small squeeze.

"Okay." Rachel nodded.

"Okay?"

"We've played this trip by ear so far and it's turned out amazing. I can honestly say I've had more fun in the last few days than I ever have in probably my entire life. And if letting go, going with the flow, how ever you want to put it –if that's what you want and need, well you've already shown me with this trip how enjoyable that can be. So yes, okay."

Quinn grinned from ear to ear, almost feeling like her face would split in two with the size of it. "Okay."

The two women before deciding to order room service and sort through the remaining bags as they waited. Rachel oohed and awed over the gifts that Quinn had chosen for her fathers, surprised at how well she seemed to know the men. They agreed that Quinn would put her name on each present and though Rachel offered to change the name tags on the other gifts, they would still be given from the two of them. Quinn knew it was the right choice when she felt Rachel crawl into bed with her later that night. Maybe opening up wasn't such a bad thing after all. 

* * *

It seemed as though the moment they hit the Ohio state border, the snow began to fall. Big, fat, wet snow flakes hit the windshield at an almost alarming rate.

"It's a good thing we're only three hours from Lima." Quinn stated as she watched the roads quickly turn white.

"We're not going to Lima. At least not yet. We still have four days left."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at Rachel. "Rae, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I mean, if this keeps coming down like it is, we're going to be buried under a foot of snow in a few hours."

Quinn watched Rachel shrug, never taking her eyes from the road. "I guess it's a good thing we'll be stopping in less than an hour then."

Rachel smiled, she knew Quinn was curious, but she wanted it all to be a surprise. This was the one stop that she had planned from the beginning, and their talks along the way had made her convinced that Quinn would love her surprise. She'd been a little hesitant when she first planned everything out, but she had a feeling that it was something Quinn needed. She was dying to tell her, but she really, really wanted it to be a surprise.

"Ok, I'll bite. Where are we going?"

Rachel bit her lip. "There are a few museums and such in Akron I thought we could visit."

She could feel Quinn's gaze on her, trying to figure out what was going on, and couldn't help but smile.

"You're up to something. I can feel it."

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. Right now though, I would suggest you play DJ for us, because I'm going to need something to keep me calm. The roads are already starting to get slick."

"If you need me to drive, just let me know." Quinn offered, though she hoped Rachel wouldn't take her up on it. She hated driving in snow and knew that Rae had a lot more experience driving in it. She had lived in New York for more than a few winters while Quinn had been on the West Coast soaking up the sun and sand.

"That wont be necessary. I just tend to tense up when driving through it. It's absolutely ridiculous, but I can't seem to help it and it leaves me sore for days afterwards if I don't distract myself."

Quinn flipped through her iPhone until she landed on her "Make Rae Sing" list. If anything could keep Rachel from getting too tense, it was singing along with past Broadway stars.

The drive that should have taken an hour ended up taking almost twice as long and both women breathed a sigh of relief when they finally hit the outskirts of town.

"We can't check in to our room until three this afternoon, but I need to get out and stretch my legs and back. If you're up to it, I was serious when I said there are a few museums in the area."

Quinn nodded. "Long as we can find a coffee house or something before hand. I don't know how you did it Rae, I'm a freakin' mess over here and I wasn't even driving."

"Try driving in snow like this in New York. This was a cake walk."

"Right. No thanks. That's why I get a driver when I'm in NYC."

The two women stepped from the car with a moaning with pleasure as they stretched. Quinn tucked Rachel into her side as they lazily began to wander the historic district of Akon. Rachel pointed out a sign for Mocha Maiden on the side of a building and the two women followed an alley until they reached the door of the Musica Urban Café. Quinn shrugged and opened the door, happy to get out of the snow for a few minutes. They each ordered their drinks and looked around the hipster-esque coffee house. Quinn rolled her eyes at the played out décor but figured she was just jaded after years of living in LA.

"Do you guys have concerts here?" She asked the barista as she pointed out a poster for The Lonesome Sound.

"Musica has shows almost every weekend. Arlo and the Lonesome will be playing in a few days."

"I saw them in Cincinnati a few years ago. They have a really unique sound."

"Yeah, they're folksy but have some awesome lyrics."

"I loved their acoustic vibe."

"Right? The raw sound of their bass and banjo?"

Rachel watched the barista smile at Quinn and fought down her irritation. The woman was blatantly flirting with Quinn and Quinn seemed to be eating it up, smiling right back. She lost track of their conversation as the two talked about other bands she had never heard of.

She almost growled at the woman as she watched her purposely brush her hand against Quinn's as she handed her their order. "Indigo Wild will be here tomorrow night. Maybe you'd like to come see them?"

Quinn felt Rachel step up closer to her and place her hand on her back and raised an eyebrow. She looked at Rachel in question before turning back to the woman and answering. "Uh, yeah, maybe."

"Sweet. Let me give you my number and you can text me if you decide to come. We can get some coffee or something?"

Rachel did her best not to stomp her foot –like really, was she invisible or something? How dare the woman flirt with her… her… friend right in front of her.

"Actually, _we_ wont be in town at the time." Rachel growled out, glaring at the woman behind the counter and almost climbed over the counter as the woman smirked in challenge and slid a piece of paper in front of Quinn.

"Yeah, no worries, take it anyway and if you're ever back in town, give me a call."

Quinn finally clued in on what was going on and bit back a smile. Rachel was positively fuming and she had a feeling if her hand went anywhere near that paper, not only would the woman explode, but she'd be in the dog house before their relationship even began.

Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's back in reassurance and smiled up at the woman who, she realized belatedly, had been flirting with her.

"The show sounds awesome, but I'll have to pass. Rae here isn't a big fan of indie rock." She made sure to emphasize her meaning as she squeezed the woman next to her. "Got to keep the lady happy."

Rachel smiled and stood on her tippy toes, brushing her lips across the corner of Quinn's mouth. "You do make me happy."

Quinn beamed as she smiled down at Rachel, her skin tingling where Rachel had kissed her. "I try."

Rachel put her head on Quinn's shoulder and smiled up at the barista, letting her know that she won. The woman nodded, smiling at the two in front of her, letting Rachel know she got it.

"Well, now that I have been properly put in my place," The woman grinned, "would it be a bad thing to ask for an autograph from you both?"

Rachel look at the woman and laughed, holding on to Quinn's arm to keep from falling over. Quinn shook her head as she smiled at Rachel's hysterical laughing, watching as she wiped her eyes and stood up. "Oh, god, you know what? Just for having the balls to ask that, yes, you may."

"So you guys really do have a thing outside _Steel_ then?"

Quinn shrugged as she took the pen the barista offered. "You knew who we were the whole time?"

"You guys are like the hottest thing out there right now. I'd have to be living under a rock not to. Rachel has a voice to die for, you are drop dead gorgeous, and _Steel _is the best show out right now. Last night's episode was hot!"

"Which one was on?" Rachel asked as she took the pen from Quinn, smiling at what the woman had written. _Great taste in music, even better taste in women! Next time try for one without an even more beautiful woman on her arm ~Quinn Fabray_

"You two, on the bed, hot and heavy. I swear, you guys almost melted my screen you were so hot. Sorry for making a move on your woman, but I just had to try."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not the jealous type." Rachel shook her head as she pushed the paper across, earning her a small laugh from both women.

"It was great meeting both of you. Thanks for this."

"You're welcome. And if you could please keep this to yourself." Rachel asked, pointing between Quinn and her. "We're not exactly ready to be hounded by the press just yet."

"Yeah, sure, no problem." The woman agreed, waving as the two actresses turned towards the door.

"Not jealous my ass." Quinn chuckled as they made it back out into the snowy day. 

* * *

After visiting the small but entertaining art museum the two women decided on a late lunch before checking in. The snow was still coming down and Quinn had begun to worry about how it would affect their travel plans. Hopefully the roads would be plowed by morning. Quinn smiled and looked at Rachel in question as they pulled up to a Victorian farmhouse with a sign swinging out front the read The Whimsical Pig.

"A B&amp;B?" Quinn asked, taking in the quaint home.

"I thought we'd stayed in enough hotels along the way." Rachel said in lieu of an explanation.

"It looks cute." Quinn admitted as she stepped out of the car. The bed and breakfast was welcoming with its understated holiday decorations running along the picket fence surrounding its front yard and placed sparsely along the front porch. The two women quickly made their way inside out of the cold and snow, nearly falling into each other as a grey cat flew passed the door.

"Sorry about that, Lily tends to enjoy giving our guest a start."

Rachel smiled up at the woman greeting them from behind a small counter. "It's not a problem. It's just good to get out of the snow."

"It's not supposed to let up any time soon. They're already talking about shutting down the highway if it keeps up, so it's a good thing you made it into town when you did. And just in time for our afternoon wine and cheese."

Quinn was glad that they'd stopped if that was the case. Wine and cheese were just an added bonus. The two women were quickly checked in and waved off help with their luggage as the older woman showed them to their room and informed them of when breakfast was the next morning.

"We usually don't offer supper unless requested specially but if we do end up getting snowed in tonight, all of our guest are more than welcome to join Ron and I."

"Thank you Susan, we'll be sure to let you know before hand."

"Of course. And please join us for a glass of wine in the parlor once you're settled." Susan backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Quinn looked around their sitting room, loving that they had their own fireplace and the holiday knick knacks that cluttered the mantel above it.

"I hope you don't mind sharing a bed. This place was too perfect to pass up." Rachel said as they walked into the main bedroom area, complete with a canopied, king sized bed.

"Yes, because we've never slept together." Quinn quipped.

"Well, technically, we haven't." Quinn stopped dead in her tracks as the leer the small brunette gave her and felt a shiver run down her spine.

"You are going to be the death of me."

She nearly passed out when Rachel leaned close to her ear and whispered seductively, "Oh, but what a beautiful way to go."

She cursed under her breath as the diva danced from under her hands. "Why don't we unpack later? I'm feeling a bit peckish and I'm hoping the have a vegetarian cheese or some crackers I can snack on."

After the scene at the coffee house, Rachel decided that though she disliked playing games, she was willing to tease the blonde into submission. She couldn't help but wonder how long it was going to take to push Quinn to her breaking point. Rachel was all for taking things slowly and letting them develop naturally, but she also was anything but a patient person and if a little shameless flirting and innuendos helped moved things along, well then, so be it.

"Are you coming?" She heard Quinn groan as she stepped back into the sitting area and stripped off her coat and scarf.

"Go ahead. I'll be down in a bit."

The muffled reply peaked her interest and she stuck her head into the room to find Quinn laying face down on their bed. She smiled at the prone woman and debated if she wanted to push or wait. She decided to give Quinn a small break and nodded.

"If you're sure?"

Quinn turned her head and looked at the brunette propped against the wall, running her eyes up and down the beautiful body that moments ago had been hidden under multiple layers. She watched Rachel watching her and couldn't help but flush under the heated gaze.

"I think I'm going to take a quick shower, then I'll meet you down there. Or you could come back up here and we could figure out what we're going to do."

Rachel hummed to herself and agreed, seeing herself out of the room, leaving behind a frustrated woman. Quinn decided to get up head to take a cold shower when her phone began to ring. She looked at the ID and grumbled, knowing if she didn't answer, the caller would just keep trying. She slid her finger across the screen and lifted it to her ear.

"Santana."

"Where the hell are you!? You left two days before us and you still ain't home. Did you finally tie up the midget and have your way with her?"

"Santana!"

"What? Like it wasn't completely obvious you two wanted to jump each other's bones."

"God, do you always have to be so crass?"

"Just telling it likes it is. So? Did you?"

"No, S. And no matter what you think, we never looked at each other like we wanted to 'jump each other's bones.'"

"Whatev. You guys have looked at each other like that since high school."

"You're insane."

"And you're blind. I swear I've never met a bigger pair of pressed lemons in my entire life."

"Pressed lemons?"

"I ain't got time to explain it to you. Just tell me when you're going to be home and what the hell is taking you so damn long to get here. Britt is beginning to worry you all drove into a pipe on the way here."

"A pipe?"

"Ditch. Ok, she couldn't remember the word for ditch. No, stop worrying my girl before I kick your ass and answer the question."

Quinn shrugged and then realized Santana couldn't see it. "We decided to take our time."

"On the trip or with your relationship, 'cause I don't think you could go any slower with that."

"Lay off, S. Tell B we're okay. We haven't driven into a ditch. And no we're not having dirty sexual escapades. Neither of us have had a lot of time off the last few years, so we're taking our time and seeing some sights on the way home."

"Hell, I'd be happy with y'alls having straight up white vanilla sex at this point. Just being around you two is like being back in a McKinley classroom with a bunch of horny, sexually repressed, teenagers. And now I owe Kurt $20."

"What did you bet on this time?"

"If you and the hobbit had finally become unpressed. Mama is yelling at me to get off the phone, so hurry up and tell me when you'll be back."

"I'm not sure. We made it to Akron but it's looking like we're going to be snowed in and I'm not sure how long Rachel is wanting to stay here. I know one way or another we'll be back by Saturday at the latest."

"Damn it, we're only here for the week. B has too many shows around the holidays to take off, so we're doing our Christmas this week. She's going to be so disappointed not to see you guys."

"How about we plan on meeting up for New Years then?"

Santana grunted her agreement and told Quinn she'd call her soon before hanging up. Quinn decided that a phone call from Santana was almost better than a cold shower and made her way downstairs. Quinn and Rachel spent the afternoon enjoying the company of the few guest who had made it in and the innkeepers' cats before deciding to try and brave the elements for dinner. Quinn told Rachel about their possible New Years plans over supper and was happy that Rachel seemed to want to join their friends for the holiday.

"So, I may have done something." Rachel admitted after checking her phone when they returned to her room.

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked as she tried to work the fireplace. Quinn looked up as she heard a knock on the door and watched Rachel shift from one foot to another nervously as she bit her lip.

"Please don't be mad at me."

Quinn stood up fearfully as Rachel moved to the door. As she opened it Quinn felt her heart begin to race at the face staring back at her. It was almost like looking in the mirror ten years in the future.

"Hello, Luce."

"Fran?" Quinn couldn't move her feet and felt her chest tighten. She hadn't seen her sister in more years than she could remember and seeing her standing in their doorway now was overwhelming.

"Quinn?"

Quinn looked over at Rachel who looked back nervously, concern filling her gaze.

As soon as Rachel saw the tears filling Quinn's eyes she made her way across the room. "Oh god, I'm sorry, this was a mistake wasn't it?"

Quinn shook her head and looked passed Rachel to where her sister still stood, looking terrified and unsure of herself. She moved her eyes from one woman to the other in wonder and shock, her smile breaking across her face as a tear rolled down her cheek. She squeezed Rachel's hand as she stepped around her, towards the only happy part of her childhood.

"Frannie."

Fran quickly stepped into her little sisters arms, holding the sobbing woman to her chest. She smiled over at the other woman in the room through watery eyes as she clutched her sister to her tightly.

Rachel let out the breath she had been holding since she first gotten the text that Fran had made it down from Cincinnati. She was so sure this would be good for Quinn but had a last minute fear that she'd gone too far this time, a fear that she thought was justified when she'd saw the tears in Quinn's eyes. Now looking at the two women embracing, she was glad she'd taken the chance. Just like a relationship with Quinn, it had the chance to end horribly, but the results could also be breathtakingly perfect. She nodded to Fran and moved to leave the room, brushing her hand over Quinn's back as she made her way to the open door.

"Rae?"

Rachel turned her head back. Quinn still clung to her sister but the smile she sent Rachel made the smaller woman's heart burst.

"Thank you." 

* * *

**I never liked that we didn't learn more about Quinn's sister on the show. So lots going on in this chapter. I really thought that their trip would be almost over by now, but apparently the girls had other ideas. Have to love when your character decide to change everything up on you. And yes, I know, they STILL haven't kissed but you're not allowed to strangle me, because then they never will. Would it make you feel better if I promise it WILL happen in the next chapter?**

**Also, I'm in need of a bit of help. Other than the basics, I know very little about Hanukkah and while Google has a wealth of information, I'm sure I have some readers who could do the search engine one better. If any of your would be kind enough to PM your own personal experiences, traditions, memories, gift idea, etc. I would greatly appreciate it. Anything you guys could share would be tremendously helpful!**


	12. Sisters and Sledding

"You're trembling."

Quinn felt the words reverberate through her, feeling them against her cheek as she held herself to her sister's chest. She still couldn't believe that this was happening, that her sister was in her arms, that Rae had found her.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

Quinn hesitated for only a moment before she whispered her answer into the quiet of the room. "That if I let go, you'll disappear again."

She felt strong arms tighten around her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn felt her breath catch in her throat and she hugged her sister tighter before letting go. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

She had barely take a step away when her sister grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

"Listen, Quinn, I know I haven't been there. I haven't been there for a long time. I wasn't there when you needed me the most and there is no way I can even attempt to apologize. I could make a ton of excuses, but right now, none of them would matter. But I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn shook her head, wanting to believe that, but she needed to know. Quinn looked up into the face that reminded her so much of her own and saw the echo of sadness and pain in the woman's blue eyes.

"Even if I'm gay?" The question slipped passed her lips before she even registered the words but she wouldn't take them back. She wanted all of her cards on the table before they went any further. If her sister left now, it would hurt, but it was a hurt she could survive. She needed to know how true that was before she got too attached again. Quinn wasn't sure how she would handle just getting her sister back in her life, only for her to turn her away when she found out things she didn't like.

She watched Fran's face for any sign of disgust or horror, but the look on her sister's face never changed.

"I guess that would depend? Are you?"

Quinn stood, watching her sister, whose face gave away nothing. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise, Fran."

"Well, that's a start."

She watched as the corner's of Fran's mouth turned up as she looked at her in confusion. Fran grabbed her hand and pulled them both down into a chair, not letting go. Fran tilted Quinn's head up, catching her gaze. She wanted her sister to be looking her in the eye when she said what she needed to. She wanted Quinn to know how serious she was.

"I know nothing about you, Quinn. I knew Lucy, the little girl who I thought was adorable, but had no self-confidence. Lucy who was overweight, with braces, and acne. Lucy who loved books and was quiet and shy. I knew a girl who had no courage. The girl I knew grew up a long time ago and the women she became isn't someone I know… but Quinn, I really want to. I want to know this brass, self-assured, courageous woman who just revealed a huge secret that, given our family history, could have pushed me away." Fran saw the tears in her sister's eyes and knew there were answering ones in her own. "I'm hoping you don't push me away instead and actually give me a chance. I want to get to know you, Quinn. So, to answer your question –you being gay, or lesbian, or heck whatever you are –that's a huge part of you but it's not going to make me leave. I meant it when I said I'm not going anywhere."

Fran smiled when Quinn crawled into her lap and threw her arms around her neck, just like she had when they were kids. She let the younger woman cry into her neck as she held her and let her own tears fall into her sister's hair.

"Better?" Fran asked after Quinn had finally calmed.

Quinn nodded, not wanting to move and it seemed like her sister was content enough to let her stay. This moment still seemed surreal. Things like this didn't really happen did they?

"So, I have to ask, are you and Rachel…" Fran let the question hang in the air, unspoken.

Quinn shrugged into her sister. "Not officially." Quinn jumped when her sister pushed her back.

"Why the hell not?!"

She was surprised by the loudness of the question, deciding now would be a good time to move. She stood up and sat of the seat next to her sister, still holding her hand. The squeeze Fran gave it told her that her sister understood.

"It's complicated?"

"What's complicated about it? That girl is obviously completely head over heels for you! I mean, she broke into your phone to find numbers to talk to complete strangers –people you've pretty much estranged yourself from, to call another complete stranger and beg her to come see you. She's beautiful, talented, friendly, and she knows how to calm you down. What the hell is complicated about that?"

Quinn laughed and ran her free hand through her hair. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds kind of stupid."

"It _is_ stupid but I'm sure I'm missing something. Fill me in?"

Quinn took a deep breath but nodded and spent the next hour filling Frannie in on her life over the last fifteen years. It shouldn't have surprised her that Fran had no clue about Beth, but then again, she didn't know about Fran's two kids who were apparently asleep on floor below them, nor the fact that Fran had been divorced for almost a year. It was almost midnight when a small knock came from the door, breaking both women from their discussion.

Quinn extracted her hand from where it still laid in her sisters and walked to the door, surprised to see Rachel on the other side holding a toe-headed little boy with an ash blonde little girl tucked in next to her leg.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Peter had a bad dream."

Fran stood up and quickly made her way to the door, pulling the almost three year old into her arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late it had gotten."

Rachel shook her head. "It's not a problem. I figured you two would be up here talking for half the night. I wasn't going to come get you until morning but…"

Rachel looked over at Quinn for the first time since she'd opened the door and saw her eyes locked on the little girl still almost hiding behind her legs. Quinn's eyes flickered between the two women and the little girl who looked so much like Beth at that age.

"Are these…" She pointed to the boy and girl.

"Lucille, come say hi to your Aunt Quinn."

Quinn looked up at her sister in awe and the woman smiled and shrugged, nodding in acknowledgement. Quinn swallowed back her tears, hating how much she had already cried that night.

Rachel looked down at the little girl and smiled when the girl didn't move. "Lucy? Remember the woman I was telling you the story about?" The little girl looked up and nodded, her finger stuck her thumb in her mouth sleepily.

"That's your Auntie Quinn."

Lucy looked over at the woman who had knelt down to her level and back up at the nice woman who had told her stories all night. "Really?" She asked around her thumb.

"Mmhmmm. I wouldn't lie."

The three women watched as Lucy stepped around Rachel's legs and stared at the woman kneeling in front of her.

"You look like mommy."

"That's because mommy is my sister."

"Mommy told me I was named after her sister. But they called you Quinn."

Quinn smiled at the girl, melting in place, and nodded. "That do call me Quinn, but it's just a nickname. It's actually my middle name. Do you know what that means?"

The girl's blonde curls bounced as she nodded. "It's your second name that your mommy calls you when you do something bad. I know I'm in lots of trouble when mommy says 'Lucille Maria Porter' like she's mad."

The women chuckled and Quinn nodded. "Well hopefully you're better than me and don't get in trouble a lot. My mother would call me 'Lucy Quinn Fabray' when she got mad."

"Nana Fabray is your mommy?" The girl grinned excitedly.

"Yes, she is."

"I've seen your pictures! Nana says I'm just like you!" The excited little girl threw her arms around her aunt.

"Mom talks about me?" She asked, looking up at her sister.

Fran smiled sadly and lifted a shoulder. "Sometimes. I think it's hard for her. She misses you." Quinn said nothing to the revelation as the little girl in her arms began to play with the hair at the back of her neck. "She does that when she's sleepy. I really should get them back to bed."

Quinn scooped up the little girl getting a giggle from her. "Let me help you?"

Fran nodded and said her goodnights to Rachel, promising to see her in the morning as she stepped out of the room. Quinn looked over at Rachel and smiled, pressing a butterfly kiss on her lips as she passed.

"I'll be back in a few."

Rachel blushed and nodded as she watched the two women walk down the quiet hall and silently patted herself on the back. From the small smile Fran gave her after seeing the kiss, it was apparent that not only had it gone well, but that Quinn had told her sister quite a bit. As she stripped out of her clothes and into the shower, she thought over what that meant. She was glad that Quinn had decided not to hide any of herself from her sister and that it honestly didn't seem to faze Fran at all. She smiled to herself as she stepped out of the bathroom, remembering the feeling of the chaste kiss Quinn had given her. It was small and fleeting, but just the fact she had done it and in such a loving and caring way, made Rachel feel like she could float away. She had a hard time wiping the smile off her face as she brushed her teeth and performed her nightly rituals.

"Oh my god, Quinn!" Rachel shrieked as she felt two arms encircle her waist, completely startling her.

"Thank you." Quinn whispered into her back, her face buried between Rachel's shoulder blades.

Rachel turned in the circle of Quinn's arms and wrapped her hands around Quinn's neck, smiling up at the beaming woman. "It was okay?"

Quinn nodded and picked up Rachel, spinning her in a circle as she grinned from ear to ear; her smile growing even wider as Rachel threw back her head and laughed. "It was fantastic. Rachel. I just…" Quinn felt like her chest was going to burst, overflowing into the ducts of her eyes.

Rachel smiled as words seemed to fail her best friend and wiped the tear gathering at the corner of Quinn's eye. "Happy tears?" She whispered, running her thumb over Quinn's cheek.

"Very happy."

"Happy looks better on you than peaceful." Rachel decided.

Quinn just nodded and grabbed Rachel's hand, pulling her back into the room. She just wanted to be wrapped up in the woman who had given her one of the best gifts she didn't even know to ask for. She knew that tonight with Fran was just a stepping stone, but it was a big one, and they never would have gotten there without the huge boost from the little diva currently staring at her in adoration.

"I'm happy and peaceful because of you." Quinn pressed two fingers to Rachel's lips to keep her from arguing. "And I am also physically and emotionally exhausted. I know you're dying for details, but do you think it would be okay if we just crawled into bed and…." Quinn hesitated for a moment before realizing that it was okay to ask, and that Rachel probably already knew what she was going to say anyway. "…could you just hold me?"

Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn's cheek. "Of course."

"I promise I'll tell you everything later."

"You don't need to do that, Quinn. All I need to know is that you're happy and things went well, and I can see that with my own two eyes." Quinn grinned in agreement and hugged her diva one more time before sending her to the bed so Quinn could get into her PJs.

Not long after, the two women slid into each other's arms on the ridiculously comfortable bed. "Do you think they'd let us take this bed home with us?" Quinn sighed as she laid her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"I think that is highly unlikely, but I'm sure we could inquire as to the brand and maybe see about getting a similar one when we get home."

Quinn hummed to herself as her eyes began to drift closed. As well as the night had gone, she had cried more than she was willing to admit, and was completely drained.

"Home. That sounds nice." Quinn was asleep before the words fully passed her lips.

Rachel smiled, running her hand through Quinn's shoulder length hair. It'd grown out in the few months she'd lived in California. Home did sound nice.

* * *

Rachel was frozen to the bone but she couldn't remember when she'd last had this much fun. Her legs were sore, her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and she was honestly beginning to worry about frostbite, but when a tiny gloved hand slid into hers and begged to go "one more time" she couldn't say no.

Frannie and the kids had planned on staying just until the lunch time, but with two feet of snow surrounding them, and the highways back to Cincinnati still treacherous, the innkeepers had insisted the three stay an extra night, especially seeing as the guest that were scheduled to stay wouldn't be able to make it in due to the weather. The older couple had also let it slip during breakfast that there was a wonderful sledding hill, complete with a toboggan run, not too far from the inn; graciously offering the use of their grown son's old toboggan for the day. The three women had taken turns climbing up the huge hill with the children, enjoying themselves almost as much as the youngest of their group. She'd even convinced Quinn and Fran to go together for a slide down the toboggan run, getting a few good shots on Quinn's camera of the two.

"Ms. Rachel?" Lucy's voice brought her from her thoughts.

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"Do you like my Aunt Quinn?"

Rachel wouldn't have been able to stop her smile if she wanted. "I do, very much so."

"She's pretty when she smiles at you. I think you should kiss her."

Rachel laughed as they finally made it to the top of the hill. "You do, do you?"

The little girl nodded and she climbed on the sled. "I think it would make her happy."

Rachel settled herself behind the small blonde, hugging the little body tightly to her. "And you would be okay with that?"

Lucy looked over her shoulder at Rachel, her brows knitted together.

"You're _supposed_ to kiss the people you love." The tone of the tiny voice telling Rachel what a stupid question that was.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to… kiss you." Rachel said, giving the girl a noisy kiss on her cheek before pushing them over the edge of the hill, the girl's giggles and squeals echoing down the hill.

"Alright munchkin, I think it's time we go get warmed up." Quinn told her niece as she helped her up off the sled once it came to a stop.

"But Quinnnn! I want to go again!"

"Lucille, no whining. Your brother is getting tired." Fran motioned to the boy almost asleep in her arms.

"But mommy!" The little girl crossed her arms and her bottom lip jutted out.

"No buts, young lady."

Quinn bit back a laugh as the little girl stomped her foot, looking very similar to a younger version of Rachel. "But Rachel and Quinn haven't gone!"

Quinn shook her head and grinned as she looked over at her sister helplessly. "She does have a point."

Fran rolled her eyes and held out her hand for Quinn's camera, shooing the other two women away.

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked quietly as they made the steeper climb up to the top of the toboggan run.

Quinn smiled to herself, replaying the previous evening and the day she'd spent with her sister and her family. She shook her head, not even sure she could put it to words, and settled with a simple answer. "I'm good."

"They're amazing."

"Is it bad that part of me is sad that I missed them growing up the last few years, but another part of me is almost relieved?" Quinn looked over at Rachel to see if she understood. She should have known that Rachel knew exactly what she was getting at without saying it.

"It makes sense, Quinn, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. For one, you didn't really know they existed. And I think your sister would understand. Those were the years that you missed out on with Beth."

Quinn took a deep breath and held it. "I did that to myself." She admitted as she released the breath heavily. "I totally screwed up with your mom."

Rachel quirked an eyebrow and then shook her head. "My mom didn't handle things the best either. I mean, she _did_ sleep with Puck."

"At least that was somewhat forgivable. I tried to get her daughter from her."

"Quinn, you were young and hurting and had no one to take your back."

"You tried to stop me."

"I always cared for you Quinn."

Quinn hummed, knowing bringing up the fact that she didn't deserve it would just lead to an argument when another thought hit her and she began to giggle.

Rachel side-eyed her as they reached the top of the hill. "What?"

"Oh god, you don't want to know." Quinn shook her head as her laughter begin to grow. Honestly, she was a bit disgusted by the idea, but she couldn't stop laughing.

Rachel planted her feet in the snow, hands on her hips, as she glared at the laughing woman. "Really, Quinn? Is this necessary? If you're going to laugh at me at least tell me why."

"Not at you!" She chuckled, "Remember you asked. It just hit me, you and your mom made out with the same person."

"Oh, eww. Quinn!" Rachel was lusting after the woman who had given birth to her sister, whose baby daddy she had once had a heated make out session with, who had then slept with her mother. "There goes your chances of ever getting laid."

Quinn stepped closer and ran her hand over Rachel's cheek.

"Does that mean there was once a chance?"

The sweet mix of Quinn's breath against her lips, the husky tone of her voice, and her proximity made all thoughts of peculiar web fate had woven vanish, and she nodded. Rachel lifted her eyes, hesitating for a moment on Quinn's lips before locking her eyes on two forest green eyes.

"I really want to kiss you." Rachel's voice was barely a whisper.

"What's stopping you?"

Rachel's eyes flickered to Quinn's lips, returning her gaze into sparkling eyes. She took a deep breath and slowly leaned forward, hesitating a hair's breath from Quinn's mouth.

"I refuse to have our first kiss tainted by thoughts of who my mother slept with." Rachel would have laughed at the look of shock on the woman's face if she didn't feel just a teeny bit bad about teasing her. She climbed onto the sleigh and waiting for Quinn, watching the woman take a few deep breaths before sitting behind her.

"There is no way Shelby is your mother, because she's not the devil you're apparently the spawn of."

* * *

Rachel had never really felt maternal, she wasn't even sure she'd ever want children, but looking down at the small child in her arms, she could picture it for the first time. She wondered if it had to do something with the blonde hair and green eyes that looked up at her.

"Sing?" The small boy asked.

The day had worn them all out and even after a long nap and a good meal, their entire group seemed to be keeping the pace of sloths. She'd offered to take Pete when he began to get cranky shortly after supper, sitting in a rocking chair near the fireplace in one of the communal rooms. The two sisters sat near by teaching Little Lucy how to play Candy Land.

"You want me to sing?" She asked, getting a huge nod in return.

"One song and then its time for bed." Fran warned her son. "He loves being sang to and will make you do it for hours if you let him."

"I wouldn't mind."

Fran watched the woman smiled down at the boy and could picture her holding her sister's child in such the same way. "I'm sure you wouldn't but it's already passed his bedtime."

Rachel nodded and tried to think of a song to sing. She smiled as she remembered a lullaby of sorts that her daddy used to sing to her when she was little.

_On the hearth, a fire burns,_

_And in the house it is warm._

_And the rabbi is teaching little children,_

_The alphabet._

She noticed the room had stilled other than the crackling coming from the fire-place, but her eyes never left the small green ones staring up at her in wonder. She smiled as she smoothly transitioned to the language she'd first heard the song in.

_Zet zhe kinderlekh, gedenkt zhe, tayere,_

_Vos ir lernt do;_

_Zogt zhe nokh a mol un take nokh a mol:_

_Komets-alef: o!_

_Lernt, kinder, mit groys kheyshek,_

_Azoy zog ikh aykh on;_

_Ver s'vet gikher fun aykh kenen ivre -_

_Der bakumt a fon._

_Lernt, kinder, hot nit moyre,_

_Yeder onheyb iz shver;_

_Gliklekh der vos hot gelernt toyre,_

_Tsi darf der mentsh nokh mer?_

_Ir vet, kinder, elter vern,_

_Vet ir aleyn farshteyn,_

_Vifl in di oysyes lign trern,_

_Un vi fil geveyn._

She looked up as the final notes faded from her lips, seeing three entranced blondes staring at her.

"Dat was perdy."

She chuckled and looked down at the Peter, kissing him on his forehead. Rachel blushed in surprise when the little boy sat up and pressed his warm, wet lips against her cheek.

"Dank you, miz Wachel."

"You're very welcome Peter."

Quinn and Rachel agreed they'd clean up their games and bid the family goodnight as her sister took the children to bed. They'd just finished putting everything back together when she looked up at an elderly woman smiling down at them.

"Please forgive me if this is rude of me to ask. I'm sure you're here enjoying time with your family, but well, a few of us were hoping that you'd be willing to honor us with a carol or two."

They knew the other residents at the B&amp;B had realized who they were before, and if they hadn't, Rachel's song for Peter gave them away. They had been lucky that the coffee shop had been their only real experience with fans or photographers along the way. Rachel looked up at Quinn, silently asking if it would be okay.

"You know I'd never turn down a chance to hear you sing." Quinn said with a shrug.

She looked up at the woman, and around the room. The nice thing about staying in a B&amp;B is there weren't a lot of guest, and the atmosphere was very homey.

"I'd be delighted to."

She accepted Quinn's hand as she stood and turned around at the sound of a throat clearing. She smiled at the innkeeper who stood holding a guitar.

"I'm not the best player, but Christmas tunes are my specialty –if you'd like some accompaniment?"

"That would be lovely, Mr. Bishop."

The man nodded and settled himself on a chair near his wife, waiting for instructions. The two took request from the handful of guest as his wife handed out cookies and hot cocoa. After a few songs, Quinn cleared her throat.

"Can I request a song?"

"Of course you can Quinn."

"I didn't get to see you, but Kurt still hasn't stopped raving about your rendition of O Holy Night back in college?"

Rachel smiled, remembering the night well. It was one of the highlights of her early career and nodded, turning to the innkeeper.

"I'm not sure I know this one well enough to join you." He admitted. "Plus, I think you'll do just beautiful on your own."

Rachel smiled and nodded before letting her eyes slide closed. Quinn couldn't help but smile in pride at the woman before her. Yes, she had been brilliant and beautiful in high school, but her years on Broadway had just strengthened Rachel's voice to the point it was hauntingly beautiful. The blonde felt chills run down her spine and goose bumps spread across her arms as Rachel began to sing, her voice caressing each word. For someone who didn't adhere to the Christian beliefs the song was based on, she did it amazing justice, leaving Quinn absolutely breathless, tears filling her eyes.

As she tore her eyes off the small brunette, she saw that she wasn't the only one in the room that was equally effected, smiling as she saw her sister standing in the doorway with tears running down her cheeks. She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt Rachel's small hand slip into hers as her own tears began to fall. She slowly opened her eyes and stared up into two shining brown ones, staring straight back into her own and felt the power and magic of the song and Rachel's voice fill her. No one moved as the song faded away, each too overwhelmed with emotions the impromptu concert had given them; though it only took a moment for Quinn to stand and pull Rachel into her arms.

"That was beautiful." Quinn whispered as she leaned back and ran her fingers over Rachel's cheek, the woman grinning at her. The sound of clapping faded in their minds as their eyes locked, completely lost in one another. They slowly moved closer until their lips hung over one another, savoring the last moments before they met. Quinn's hand sunk into lustrous brown hair as their lips finally met, both women sighing into the contact. The kiss was so soft, so filled with love, that Rachel couldn't stop the tear that trickled down her cheek. They slowly separated, pressing their foreheads together, and grinned at one another.

"And it didn't even take mistletoe." The older innkeeper joked.

* * *

**You guys not only finally get what you all have been insistently begging for, you also get it two days early because Fran hijacked this chapter and took off with it. This wasn't what I originally had planned for this chapter, but sometimes characters have a way of jumping ship to run off and do their own thing. So what did you guys think of Fran and the kids? And the long awaited first kiss? Let me know!**


	13. Parents and Exes

**So this was supposed to be a pretty short**** chapter meant to alleviate my boredom, feed into my procrastination, and reward the few fantastic reviewers that left some awesome feedback on the last chapter. And then this happened. I guess the universe thought you guys really, really needed a reward, because this chapter went to completely out of control. I could have (and possibly should have) split this into two chapters, but I liked how it worked out. Hopefully you guys do too!****  
**

* * *

Quinn had been quiet since they'd left Akron and the B&amp;B almost an hour before and it was starting to worry Rachel. She had attempted, unsuccessfully, to engage in a conversation but Quinn barely gave a one or two word answer before falling silent. Rachel wanted to push, but she knew that while Quinn had grown up a lot since high school, there were still times where she tended to recede inside of herself and hide behind her walls. It was moments like these when Rachel couldn't help but let old insecurities flare to life. How could you not be insecure when the person you were attracted to was Quinn Fabray? She was gorgeous and talented and smart and could be the sweetest person ever, she was fiercely loyal and protective, and god, did she mention beautiful? Because Rachel knew she had never seen anyone as stunning and amazing as Quinn. But Quinn had been quiet and it was leaving Rachel with far too much time to think about far too many worse case scenarios even as she hoped she was wrong. Quinn was quiet because she was missing her sister that she'd finally reconnected with, not because she wasn't regretting what had happened between them the night before.

As much as she was worried, Rachel couldn't help but smile a little as she thought about it. That kiss had been the perfect first kiss. It was the kind of thing you read about, watched on movies, heard about in love songs, but rarely got to experience in real life. It had honestly been the perfect moment. They decided to call it a night afterward, both somewhat embarrassed with the audience surrounding them. It had felt strange to get hugs from both innkeepers and Quinn's sister, hearing them all tell her what a cute couple they made. Rachel blushed fiercely when Fran had told her it was about time. But all of that, the embarrassment and the nerves were overshadowed by the complete euphoric happiness that surrounded her every time Quinn would catch her eye and smile shyly.

Rachel very much felt like she was back in junior high school again, getting her very first kiss and then dancing around one another when they'd returned to the room. They both acted skittish, not speaking as they prepared for bed; just smiling at one another each time they looked at the other, which was every few seconds. Rachel was sure her heart was going to beat out of her chest when Quinn had climbed into bed beside her. They'd laid there for what seemed like hours, both on their sides staring into the other's eyes as Quinn played with Rachel's fingers under the blanket. It was absolutely perfect.

They'd shared a small kiss before heading off to breakfast that morning, enjoying their last few hours with Quinn's family before Fran had to leave to return to Cincinnati. It was shortly after when they loaded up the car that Quinn seemed to pull away. The farther they got from the bed and breakfast, the farther Quinn seemed to climb inside of herself and it was starting to bother Rachel. She had hoped if she had given Quinn some time the woman would have opened up to her, but Quinn just continued to stare out the window, leaving Rachel wondering what she'd done wrong. She knew it was probably irrational, and she knew she had a tendency to blow things out of proportion, but she couldn't stop her brain from jumping to conclusions. Even as she tried to tell herself it was nothing, no big deal, that Quinn may have been tired, or missing her sister, or pondering life, the silence began to eat at her. With each mile that passed, Rachel felt her irritation grow and she fought back the urge to yell at Quinn, to tell her that if she really didn't want to be with Rachel, she should just have the guts to tell her as much. Which just made Rachel irritated at herself for such irrational thought.

Rachel huffed and flicked on her turn signal to take the next exit. She needed to get out of the car and away from Quinn for a few minutes before she did something stupid. Like yell at Quinn for not talking to her. Or try to force her to talk. Which she knew from experience was like trying to walk through a brick wall –you just end up nowhere and in complete pain from trying.

"Why are we stopping?" Rachel almost jumped from the unexpected sound breaking the silence after so long and gritted her teeth in annoyance.

"I need some coffee." She tried to keep her voice smooth, but it was difficult. Her worry had irreversibly shifted to anger, and even as she tried to take a few cleansing breaths, it seemed to grow.

"They won't have a vegan option."

Rachel knew most gas stations didn't, which is why she usually made sure to bring along a thermos of coffee when away from big cities. Animal products hid in the stupidest places. She rolled her eyes.

"Well then, I feel the need to stretch my legs."

"Rae? We've only been on the road less than an hour."

Rachel calmly took a deep breath. "Yes, and in that hour, you've completely ignored me. So forgive me for needing a little stimulation."

"Well if you want some stimulation…" Quinn smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, only to have them furrow moments later as Rachel glared at her.

Quinn sighed and shook her head internally. Rachel was mad and a joke wouldn't sooth it over.

"So you've gone from ignoring me to being concupiscent, imploring puckish mannerisms to try to reach your intended goal?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Can you please stop pretending to be a dictionary for two seconds and tell me in English what has your panties in a bunch?"

Rachel glared over at Quinn as she put the car in park and jumped from the barely stopped vehicle. Quinn cursed under her breath as the diva stormed away.

"What the hell just happened?" Quinn asked the air as she reached over and pulled the keys from the ignition.

Quinn looked up at the building Rachel disappeared into. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make sense of it. She knew that Rae had saw her pulling away, but she had allowed her to. She hadn't pushed, hadn't tried to make her talk and it made Quinn fall just a little bit harder for the amazing brunette. She figured that Rae knew her well enough to know she needed some time to work out what was going on in her head. Maybe she should have pushed passed her comfort level to talk to Rachel about it, but her head was kind of a mess and she just needed some time to figure it all out. Her sister and her had spoken alone before they'd left and her feelings and emotions were all over the place. Quinn mentally kicked herself. All she would have had to do is tell Rachel her sister had dropped some stuff on her and Rachel would have understood, would have given her the time and space to process.

Instead, she was angry and it was Quinn's fault. She just couldn't understand why she as _so_ angry. This wasn't the first time since they became best friends that Quinn had pulled back. It almost always led the blonde to apologizing. She tried think of what was different and the only thing that she could come up with… was…

"Oh god. I'm SUCH an idiot!" Quinn jumped from the car to go search for Rachel, finally realizing why she was so upset.

"Rae?"

Rachel refused to look up, trying to decide which of the brands of coffee in front of her might taste the least horrible and not cause her to completely disregard her vegetarian lifestyle. Animal products hid in the most unusual places.

"Rachel, I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk to you at the moment."

Quinn laid her hand on Rachel's arm, happy the woman hadn't yanked her hand away. "I'm sorry, Rae. I could never, never regret what happened. I know you don't want to talk to me, but can you please listen?"

She waited and when an answer didn't come, she took it as acceptance and opened her mouth to speak when a gentleman cleared his throat behind them. Quinn looked back as the man motioned for the coffee they were standing in front of and nodded, pulling Rachel with her.

"Can we… I don't really think I can do this standing up, and I want to be able to look at you when I try to explain. So can we go sit down? We can get some coffee at the diner and I can try to explain?" She watched Rachel shift from one foot to the other, still refusing to look at her. "I know you don't believe me yet, but please Rae? I promise this isn't to do with us."

Quinn wouldn't have noticed Rachel's shoulders sag or the small sigh of relief she gave if she hadn't been watching so closely and felt even more like an idiot. Quinn looked around and pulled them another few inches into a hallway that led back to the bathrooms and showers. She lifted her fingers to Rachel's chin until Rachel's eyes me her own.

"I'm sorry for making you think that I regretted anything. You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Please forgive me for worrying you?"

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes, judging her sincerity. She sighed and nodded when she found nothing but love and hope looking back at her. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't stay mad when Quinn was looking at her like that, speaking softly all the words she needed to hear. She breathed a sigh of relief when Quinn leaned down to softly brush her lips.

She laughed lightly at Quinn goofy grin and pushed the woman away from her, shaking her head. Damn Quinn and her being so damn adorable. She huffed and playfully stormed off towards the small café attached to the gas station, loving the sound of Quinn's laugh that echoed behind her.

"So?" Rachel asked as the waitress brought them coffee and a huge bowl of non-dairy creamer at Quinn's request.

Quinn knew what Rachel was waiting for and tried to decide what exactly to say. She was still processing, but she knew that Rae deserved an explanation after she'd worried her. Plus, she was trying not to be that girl who hid behind mask and walls, insecurities and old pain. Her emotions must have shown across her face because she soon had a tiny hand grasping hers from across the table.

"If you really don't want to tell me Quinn, you don't have to. I was just worried that you regretted the kiss and got angry that you couldn't tell me that."

"I meant it when I said that I could never regret that Rae. Never." Quinn tried to smile, but was sure it looked at forced as it felt. "And I do want to talk to you, it's just, my head's kind of a mess right now."

"I can give you time and space, Quinn. I just need you not to shut me out completely. Rationally, I knew that it probably had nothing to do with us, but…" Rachel shook her head. "…emotions aren't rational, nor are insecurities. And you pulling away left every single one of those insecurities screaming at me what I wasn't god enough, pretty enough, talented enough."

"Rae…"

"I know it's not true, I do; but like I said, emotions and insecurities aren't rational." Quinn ran her thumb over the back of Rachel's hand and waited, knowing that she wasn't quiet done. "Can you at least tell me why? You said it wasn't to do with us, and I'm trying to accept that…"

"It's just difficult to, I get that. And I guess if it were the other way around, I would probably would have felt the same way. What's going on between us is so new, and I have a history of running away from change, so I get why you'd think that. But please know that I could never regret one of the most amazing moments of my entire life."

Rachel looked up in wonderment at the sanguine statement. "Most amazing?"

"Second only to holding Beth the first time." The smile that filled Rachel's face and the love that filled her eyes gave Quinn the strength to tell her what had her so stressed out. Quinn let her smile fade to a grimace and tried to take a deep breath around the sudden lump in her throat.

"Fran told me that our mother would like to see me. She apparently wants me there for Christmas."

"I take it Fran told your mom you were coming."

Quinn nodded and took a sip of her coffee, remembering the conversation with her sister. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be mad at Fran for telling her or thank her for opening the door. It had been a long time since she had saw her mother and she wondered if now wasn't the best time to finally have closure on the relationship.

"Fran talked to her last night. Apparently mother knew she was coming to see me and wanted to know how it went. She wanted to know how I was and insisted that Frannie tell me she'd love to see me."

"That's a good thing isn't it?"

Quinn pulled her hand back into her lap. Rachel knew it was Quinn's way of holding herself together, but she hated when Quinn pulled away and tried to understand.

"I'm not sure."

"I…" Rachel stopped, trying to figure out even how to broach the subject. She knew that this trip already had the potential to be an emotional rollercoaster for Quinn, seeing Beth and Shelby for the first time in a few years. She knew Shelby and Quinn had tentatively patched things up, her mother had even allowed Quinn to see her Beth in person a few times. Their relationship was still a rough area for both mothers and this would be the first holiday that Quinn had ever gotten to spend with her daughter. She wasn't sure how Quinn would handle having to deal with her own parental issues on top of that.

She knew that Quinn never really got over her mother letting Russell kick her out. Quinn couldn't understand as a mother who loved her child and would do anything for her, even if she was being raised by another woman, she couldn't understand how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood. Rachel could remember the night that Quinn had finally broke down and dealt with the pain of losing her child and her family only months apart. It had become the first stepping stone to their closer relationship. She knew that Quinn only spoke to her mother once or twice a year and had never felt like she could live up to the woman's expectations –even if they had been lowered after Beth's birth.

"I'm trying to understand, Quinn, I guess it's just difficult for me because I haven't had to go through all you have. I always wanted a relationship with my mother and you saw how well that went. Yet, even though she hurt me, I couldn't help but want her in my life. I know that Judy has hurt you on multiple occasions, and that it may be difficult to put yourself in that position again… " Rachel sighed, trying to think of how to put it. Rachel only had one answer and knew it wasn't logical, nor would it fix everything, but it was the only thing that she could come up with. "but she is your mother."

The two women sat quietly, each caught up in their own thoughts as they drank their coffee. Rae was one of the few people in her life that she ever felt comfortable enough opening up to and she knew that she was the one person who would never judge her. Quinn knew that what Rachel needed right now was for her to let her walls down so she tried to figure out how to put it into words. She understood what Rachel was saying. It was the same thing she thought of when comparing her relationship to her daughter with the relationship her and her own mother had.

"I don't even know if I can explain it, Rae. I told you when I was sick a few weeks ago that I didn't know what it's like to have someone take care of you when your sick. I didn't have a parents like yours. I didn't have a mom who would kiss away the pain when of a skinned knee, or to hold me when my heart had been broken. Frannie did that for me, she was my family; when she left, it was just me and two strangers who had raised me to be just like them and I hated them for it. So I don't have a mom, I have a mother." Quinn sighed and looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Even so, I guess you're right. There will always be a part of me that will want her love and her acceptance -two things I never thought I was worthy of and I let it turn me into a monster for a long time." Quinn hesitated as she looked up into two accepting brown eyes and timidly slid her hand across the table until Rachel took it and intertwined their fingers. "I am finally in a good place in my life. I have an amazing career, I'm surrounded by people who love and accept me for who I am, and I have you. Yes, I would like some kind of closure in that relationship, but I'm not sure I want to disrupt all that for the possibility of getting hurt again."

Rachel smiled down at the hand that she held. "Quinn, everything we do in our lives has the potential to either make us happy or to devastate us." She looked up at Quinn, pleading with her eyes for the woman to really hear what she was saying as she softly stroked her thumb over Quinn's knuckles, letting Quinn know that the statement applied to what was happening between them as well.

"We spend far too long worrying over the implications of every move we make in our life. We worry about what others will think of us, how the actions we take will affect us in the future. We spend so long worrying about the maybes and the what-ifs that we let the possibilities pass us by. We forget to live for the here and now." Rachel stopped and smiled up at Quinn, unable to not think how wonderful the here and now was. "Yes, it has the potential to end badly and to hurt, but it has just as must potential to be amazing, and wonderful, and everything we hoped it could be. And if we're lucky, sometimes more. We just have to be willing to see that the risk are worth it, that pain only last for moments, and happiness is fleeting, but those brief moments will get us through until the next."

Rachel shook her head at herself and took a sip of her cooled coffee. "Judy could disappoint you, but if she wants to spend the holidays together, it sounds like she's trying."

"I guess. I'm just… Fran surprised me. I really thought when I told her I was gay that she was going to turn her back on me. Frannie had always been a little like our father in that she was always very conservative and we both know he'd condemn me to hell before speaking to me anymore. She might surprise me, but I find that difficult to believe. Yes, she could, but she bought into the same party line as Russell for so long. Mother knows I play a lesbian character on television but she doesn't know how close to the truth it is in real life. What if she doesn't handle it like Fran did, Rae? I don't think I could take a fire-and-brimstone speech from her."

"Has she ever said anything about your character?"

"We really never talked about it much. She called after I won my Emmy to tell me she was proud of me."

"Well, that's something, right? I mean, she could have completely stopped talking to you, or treated you horribly, just for even portraying a homosexual character! Yet, she still told you she was proud of you. That's a big thing, Quinn!"

Quinn couldn't help but smile a little at Rachel's enthusiasm and she did have a point. "I guess I never thought about it that way. It was the first time she'd ever said those words to me."

"That she was proud of you?" Quinn nodded. She had cried after she'd gotten that call. "I think she just might surprise you Quinn. It's your choice, and I'll support you no matter what you decide to do, but I truly hope you'll consider it."

"I have some time. I don't want to hide anything from her, I won't hide this." Quinn lifted their hands.

"I would never ask you to and if you want me with you when you go see her, I'll be right by your side."

"Well, you did promise to be by me the entire time anyway." Quinn smiled. "What… what do you think about maybe, after Hanukkah maybe meeting her for lunch somewhere? Together? I know it's a lot to ask…"

"No, it's not. And I think it would be a good idea. Just meet somewhere on neutral territory and feel each other out. It would be better than showing up on Christmas day and all hell breaking lose."

Quinn snorted at the idea. It would be a huge step away from their traditional Christmases together. "I do want to go over for Christmas, Frannie and the kids are coming down, so maybe if I settle things with my mother first it would be easier."

"I'll be by you the entire time." Rachel promised.

It was almost suppertime by the time they finally reached the edge of town. Between side trips, attraction stops, time with Fran, and freak snow storms, it had almost taken them a week to travel less than six hundred miles, and while neither woman would trade a moment of it, they were both exhausted and glad to be home. Their talk earlier had helped settle Quinn and the tension in the car had disappeared, leaving them both in good spirits, spending the remaining two hour drive flirting and laughing together. It was just what they had needed after the stress-filled afternoon.

"Dad! Daddy!" Rachel flew out of the car into the waiting arms of her fathers the moment the engine had died down. Quinn had texted the men as soon as they hit the outskirts to let them know they'd be pulling in soon. Quinn smiled as she slowly walked towards the group, loving how the men laughed and squealed along with their daughter. It was obvious how much they loved and missed her.

Quinn shrieked as she was lifted into two strong arms and spun in a circle, only to be engulfed by another set of arms as soon as her feet hit the ground. "Quinn!"

Quinn blushed and smiled into LeRoy's chest as she was smothered between the two men.

"Daddies! Let her breath!" Rachel laughed as she pulled the trapped woman from between her fathers and leaned into her side, wrapping her arm around the woman's back.

"We're allowed to smother you both. We've missed our girls!" Hiram exclaimed. "Now, come give me another hug." He said taking them both into his arms.

Rachel was warmed by the sound of Quinn's laughter and the feeling of her father's arms squeezing them in a group hug. Once the men had finally gotten their fill of hugs for the moment, they helped bring in the myriad of bags from the back of Rachel's car, raising an eyebrow when Rachel insisted they all be put into her old room.

"Now that Rachel has allowed certain milk products back into her diet, we hope that pizza will be acceptable for dinner?"

"She'll only eat it if the cheese is rennet-free." Quinn answered as she unloaded another armful of bags onto the queen-sized bed.

LeRoy snorted from the doorway. "You forget we had to cater to her vegan lifestyle the first twenty-one years of her life." Quinn blushed. Of course they would know that. "It's nice someone else remembers though."

Rachel shook her head at the look her father gave them both. She knew it wouldn't take long for the men to notice the chemistry between them, but she hadn't even looked in Quinn's direction since they'd arrived and she was already getting knowing looks. She wondered how long it would take her Daddy's curiosity to overtake him. The smile and raised eyebrow he gave her made her think it wouldn't be sooner than she'd want. The two men left to order their supper and give the women time to unpack.

"So how do you want to handle that?" Quinn asked as she moved a bag of presents to the closet.

"Handle what?" Rachel asked, the pile of clothes in her hands hanging in midair.

Quinn snorted and took the clothes, placing them on top of the dresser. They both knew exactly what Quinn was asking and what Rachel was avoiding. She stepped closer to Rachel and threaded her hands around the woman's back. "This? Us? Other people? We really haven't talked about any of it."

"Yes, well, I wanted to on the way here, but someone was distracted by other things." Rachel lifted her arms around Quinn's neck and smiled to let her know she was teasing.

"I can't help it if the most beautiful woman was sitting next to me. She _can_ be quite distracting."

"Is that the reason you always stared at me in school?" Rachel grinned as she felt Quinn's shoulders lift.

"Wouldn't want you to get a big head. Well, bigger. You might not be able to fit through the door way any more."

Rachel laughed, able to take Quinn's jab as the joke it was meant to be. She rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Quinn's. The feeling was quickly becoming addicting and they hadn't even moved passed the innocent brushes of lips against one another.

Quinn smiled as they broke apart wanting nothing more than to kiss the woman again, deeper, with all the longing she felt but she needed an answer. She saw Rachel hesitate when she had asked. They really hadn't defined anything between them and only a few kisses had been exchanged. She had a general idea where they both stood, but she needed verbal confirmation.

"Seriously though, Rae, I'll follow your lead here. I mean, other than my mom, everyone else probably wont be too surprised in the change of our relationship. I already told you I don't want to hide this, but I want you to be comfortable, so whatever you want to tell everyone, or not tell everyone, I'm okay with."

Rachel played with the hair under her fingers, loving how soft it was. "I don't want to hide. Not that I would be able to from my parents anyway."

"I think LeRoy figured it out when you pulled me out of that hug."

"Hmmm yes, Daddy is the more observant of the two."

"So what exactly are we telling them? I mean, we haven't exactly defined this."

"They know you're my best friend and already love you like their own, so it won't bother them.. I guess we tell them when they ask that we've decided to see where this goes?"

Quinn leaned her forehead against Rachel's and stared into her chocolate brown eyes. "I more than want to see where this goes, Rae."

Rachel beamed in response. "So? What does that make us?"

"Does asking you to be my girlfriend sound a little too high-schoolish?"

Rachel threw her head back and laughed. "Oh god, that does sound like high school. Is there a better word that sounds more mature for a serious relationship?"

Quinn's smile slowly faded as she took in the smiling woman in her arms.

"Is this a serious relationship?"

Quinn knew that they'd both said they want more than just seeing where this was going but a serious relationship? She thought about it and could, for the first time, actually see herself with someone for the long term. Rachel knew everything about her, her quirks and her flaws. They knew each other's past. And now she could really see them as part of one another's future. A title like 'serious relationship' should scare the shit out of her, but instead she wanted to pull Rachel into her arms and spin her around in circles.

She didn't need an answer, it was staring straight back at her. Rachel's nose wrinkled with the size of her smile and Quinn couldn't resist any longer, leaning down to take Rachel's lips between her own. She smiled into the kiss as Rachel's arms tightened around her neck the moment she swiped her tongue over the softest lips she'd ever felt.

Rachel moaned softly as she parted her lips, allowing Quinn to deepen their kiss for the first time, completely losing herself in the kiss, in the feeling of Quinn pressed against her, the smell of her shampoo lingering in her nostrils, the taste of her on her tongue. Her skin tingled and her brain felt pleasantly hazy and she realized she could kiss this woman for the rest of her life and be perfectly happy. Who needed food or water or singing?

"Well, I guess we don't need to ask now." The sound of Hiram's voice shattered the moment. Both women jumped at the voice.

"Really, Dad, was the necessary?" Rachel's cheeks flamed, both from the vestige sensations of the kiss and from being caught making out with the embarrassed blonde buried Rachel's neck.

"This was what I was trying to avoid." Quinn chuckled. She had never been caught by any parents, including her own, and she couldn't help but be a bit mortified.

"Aww, look Hiram, they're both blushing."

"Was there something you wanted or did you both just come up to tease us?" Rachel glared at the men who were leaning against her doorway as she hugged her girlfriend closer to her.

"Well, we were going to tell you supper is here, seeing as you didn't respond when we yelled for you both." LeRoy wiggled his eyebrows.

"But after seeing why you didn't answer, we're just going to tease you." Hiram laughed.

"Oh god." Quinn groaned as she rested her forehead against Rachel's shoulder.

"Get used to it Quinn. We already considered you a daughter before this and as an unofficial Berry, you must be subjected to Berry teasing."

"He says teasing, I say torture." Rachel sighed.

"Toe-ma-toe, ta-ma-to." LeRoy quipped before turning to leave, dragging his husband with him.

Quinn stepped back and looked at the women in front of her. "Please tell me that did not just happen."

"Well, it's two less people that we have to tell."

"Yes, but they're going to tease us just as bad, if not worse, than Santana would. Just be thankful we don't have to deal with her and B until after Christmas."

Rachel's smile fell a little as she stepped back and took Quinn's hand. "I hate that we had to miss them."

"Yeah, I get Britt's shows having to come first but it was kind of nice seeing them at Thanksgiving. It was weird because I really hadn't spent that much time with them together since shortly after high school."

"I know. I miss them. And Kurt and Blaine."

Quinn looked down at their hands. "You know, eventually, we're going to have to discuss that. You're in New York, and I'm in LA."

Rachel almost melted at the vulnerability that coated Quinn's voice and the way she stood. She knew that Quinn was right, it wasn't even something that she had thought about before this moment. Which showed just how hazy the blonde made her. She usually always thought about every detail of what would happen, but with Quinn, everything happened so naturally that she didn't want to stop and plan every aspect of what was happening between them and where she saw it going.

"I know we're going to have to face that eventually, but we'll figure it out together. I promise." She smiled when Quinn pecked her cheek.

"You're right, we'll figure it out, because I don't plan on letting you go any time soon."

* * *

"Dude, what the hell?"

Quinn looked over her shoulder at the man standing in the doorway behind her as she reached in the cabinet for a glass.

"What's your malfunction?"

"I want to know what's going on between you and my fellow Jew Babe."

Quinn rolled her eyes and moved to grab some juice out of the fridge. She knew it was a mistake when Rachel told her that Puck would be joining them for the first night of Hanukkah. Apparently her fathers had invited him after hearing that his family would be down in Cleveland to see Jake leaving Puck alone while on leave. She knew he wasn't aware she'd be there the moment he walked in the door. Thankfully it hadn't been awkward and he'd seemed genuinely happy to see her. She knew he'd keep pestering her for an answer and as much as she was prepared to act annoyed, she really wasn't. In a way, she almost felt that she owed him an explanation, but but she wasn't sure her relationship with Rachel was one she wanted to share with her ex. She still considered him a great friend, but everything was so new with Rae and it seemed like they hadn't had a moment alone to enjoy it.

Quinn wondered if she just ignored him that he'd get the message and leave, but after dating him for so long, she knew it was highly unlikely. He was like a dog with a bone and when he wanted answers, he'd annoy you until he got them. She turned around with a huff, deciding to get it over with before anyone else walked in.

"What do you mean?" Quinn avoided his eyes as she poured her juice,

letting her annoyance filter through her voice.

"Don't play games with me, Quinn. I _know_ there is something going on between you two. You forget, I know you both. I know that look you're giving her and I'm not blind –she is giving it right back."

Quinn crossed her arms and took a drink, trying to bide her time. She could admit it, but it was more fun seeing him get so worked up. "I'm looking at Berry like I always have."

"Almost, which is kind of telling in itself." Puck shook his head and snorted as he lowered himself onto a stool at the island separating them. "Damn it, why didn't I see this back in high school?"

"You're lucky Rachel isn't in here. She'd be yelling at you about your language."

"No, she'd be too busy making goo-goo eyes at you to even notice I was in the room. Stop changing the subject." Puck glared at her.

"Fine." Quinn snipped. He'd peaked her interest. "You tell me what you meant about high school and I'll think about answering your question."

"Oh, I'll get an answer, one way or another. You know you can't resist The Puckster."

Quinn rolled her eyes and bit back a groan. "Right, which is why I'm currently following you around the country playing army wife."

"You know it's Air Force."

Quinn waved him off as she finished her drink and turned to rinse it out. It didn't really matter to her what branch, even though after dating him for so long, it was engraved into her brain. She honestly was proud of him. He had told them over dinner that he'd been promoted to E7 Master Sergeant a few months prior. He had been so worried about becoming a Lima loser, but he had actually made something of himself with the military.

"Do we have a deal or not?" Quinn questioned, trying to get the conversation back on track. She really didn't want to be standing in the kitchen talking to Puck when the most amazing woman was waiting in the other room for her.

"I never understood it in high school, the way you'd look at her, or her at you. You tried so hard to hate her, which I never really got, because Rachel was always great. Once I knocked you up though, you kinda let her a little closer to you and you'd look at her, like when she was singing and stuff, and it was like you'd never seen anyone like her before."

"I hadn't. None of us had. Even back then she was a star."

Puck bobbed his head in agreement. "True, but you still looked at her differently than anyone else did. Like even when you were trying to hate her you truly respected her, but it was more than that."

Quinn shrugged, not disagreeing, but wanting to see where he was going with this. She did respect Rachel in high school. Even when she was throwing slushies on her, she begrudgingly respected her. She would look Quinn right in the eye and held her head high. That took guts.

"I never understood why she always wanted to be your friend, why she was always chasing after you, or trying to stop you from doing something absolutely stupid. Or why she would look at you like a proud parent anytime you'd do something right. She'd get that huge smile she gets when she is truly happy about something. The smile she has been wearing every single time she's looked in your direction tonight."

"So what? She's my best friend, I can make her smile, what's your point."

Puck shook his head. He should have known his ex wouldn't make it easy on him, but he knew what he was saying was true. "You know it's not just because you're her best friend. We saw her moon over Finn forever. She looks at you like you've just went out and hung the moon and the stars just for her. And I personally know how you look when you're in love with someone, but I've never seen you like this. It's changed you, you're freer, happier."

Quinn couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She really did feel like she could float away at any moment.

Puck laughed and pointed at her. "See, that, right there. That goofy ass smile says it all. So come on baby mama, your turn. You made me get all sappy and shit, so fess up. What's up with you and Jew Babe?"

"Fine, ok, you're right. I'm not sure about the whole high school thing, but I'll give you the rest." Puck smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. "God, Puck, do you have to be so crude."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"Right, because I don't know that look at all."

She smiled when Rachel walked in the room, stopping whatever offensive and vulgar thing that was going to come out of Puck's mouth next.

"Rachel!" Puck jumped off his stool and grabbed the woman, spinning her around.

"Noah?" Rachel laughed as she dizzily grained her footing, looking curiously over at Quinn who just shrugged. "I was wondering where you two went off to."

Quinn lifted her hand and wiggle her fingers, beckoning Rachel to take her hand. As soon as Rachel's fingers slid in to hers she pulled the other woman closer to her and draped her arm over Rachel's shoulder.

"Puck was just about to proposition me for a three-some."

Puck gaped at her for a full minute before remembering he should be defending himself.

"I was not."

"Right, so what were you going to say." She stared at the man as he opened his mouth, only to promptly shut it. "That's what I thought, and before you ask, the answer is no."

"So I take it you told him?" Rachel asked as she leaned into Quinn's side, loving that she was able to touch her like this now. They had agreed that they would keep the PDA to a minimum until they were able to tell everyone, not really wanting to cause sudden heart failure for any of their friends or relatives. Plus, Quinn decided she wanted to tell her mom before news got around town. Lima wasn't a small town, but news like this still spread like wild fire, especially when the news pertained to two of the biggest stars ever to come out of Lima, Ohio.

"Not really. He sort of cornered me about what I was doing with you."

"Gotta protect my fellow Jew." Puck said with a shrug when Rachel looked over at him.

"That's very sweet of you Noah. Are you okay with this? I mean, I know that you and Quinn were once a pair."

The two women watched as he thought over the question, both hoping that it wouldn't be an issue between them. Though neither of them saw or spoke to the man often they still considered him both a good friend and part of their extended family, just like many of their former Glee members.

"If Quinn and I were meant to be, we would still be together. It'll take some getting used to, don't get me wrong, but as long as you're both happy, then whatever." Rachel beamed over at her friend, but Quinn waited. Puck may have out grown a lot of his immaturity, but he was still Puck and always would be.

"But you know, if you want to make me feel better about it, you could always make-out in front of me."

Quinn rolled her eyes and hugged Rachel to her, kissing the top of her head. "And there it is." 

* * *

"So what did you think of tonight?" Rachel asked later as they laid in bed together. She had her head on Quinn's shoulder and Quinn had her hand dangling over them where she could play with her fingers. Rachel smile at it, realizing that this was something Quinn loved to do. She didn't quite understand it, but she couldn't help but find it utterly adorable.

"Puck or Hanukkah?"

"Both, I guess."

"It was kind of nice to see Puck again. We really haven't gotten to hang out since we broke up so it was a little odd at first."

"What all did he say before I interrupted?"

Quinn lowered their hands and laid them on her chest over her heart. "He said that I used to look at you almost the same way in high school. And that you used to look at me the same way too."

Rachel shifted so she could look up at Quinn, the only light coming from the bright moon outside her window. "I'm surprised he noticed."

"Tonight? I couldn't take my eyes off of you, I think he would have been blind not to see it."

Quinn felt Rachel shake her head against Quinn's shoulder and looked down at the woman in her arms. Rachel sighed heavily and moved closer, not sure if she could talk while Quinn was looking at her like that.

"I meant in high school. I guess I was a bit of a masochist, because you treated me horribly for so long, but I had the biggest crush on you for years."

"You had a crush on me?" Rachel nodded. "God, but why? I was such a bitch to you."

"I know, it doesn't really make sense. I truly disliked that part of you, it hurt every time you'd call me a name, or ignore me, or when we'd be fighting." She felt Quinn tense under her and ran her fingers over Quinn's arm trying to sooth her. "But then there were the times that you'd let your mask slip, or you'd do something nice, and I knew I was actually getting to see the real you. And Quinn, the real you is so amazing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have given me the time of day back then?"

Quinn chuckled humorlessly. "No, I probably would have beat the hell out of you for even saying such a thing."

"Exactly."

The two women laid quietly, both absorbed in their own thoughts, but secretly wondering how different high school would have been if Rachel had said something and Quinn had been in the right place emotionally to accept it.

"What about later? After you found out? You know… about me?"

Rachel lifted a shoulder. "I just let things be. It's got us here, didn't it?"

Rachel loved the silence that would fall around them between conversations. Unlike the car, which was filled with tension, the quiet that now surrounded them was easy. It wasn't strained or awkward and for a change, she didn't feel the need to fill it, but a thought kept pushing it's way into her mind.

"What about you?" Rachel's voice finally cracked the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said Puck told you we both looked at each other in a similar way to what we do now?"

Quinn made an affirmative noise, understanding what Rachel was asking. "I don't know. I spent part of the evening thinking about that."

"Is that why you were so quiet tonight?"

"That and I was just trying to understand what was going on. Even though I dated Puck I never joined him for Hanukkah so tonight was a first for me."

"I kind of gathered that by the questions you were asking."

"Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine, I just didn't know before. I guess I was under the assumption that you'd had joined Puck and his family for the Hanukkah celebrations. I'm kind of glad that you get to experience it with my father's and I first." Rachel hesitated a moment, waiting to see if Quinn would resume their conversation, but the woman stayed silent, drumming her fingers on Rachel's arm. "So did all your thinking bring you any answers?"

"I don't know. I was so blinded by everything I was supposed to be in high school that the thought of possibly being gay wasn't even consciously on my radar. It wasn't something I decided to hide like Santana did, I just honestly didn't know. Looking back, I can see different things, what I could call crushes now, but then?" Quinn shook her head. "I always tended to treat girls like crap. Just being around other females made me so angry. It didn't make sense to me back then, I just thought it was all the pressure I was under to be the best, but your question you asked me a few weeks ago got me thinking? When you asked if all my rage was from being repressed?" She felt Rachel nod into her shoulder as she picked up her hand and began running her fingers through Rachel's.

"I know you said it in jest, but it does make a lot of sense, so I guess I can see what Puck meant. Most of my anger was always directed at the girls in the school who were the prettiest, or the most attractive, or the most talented, and you were all that and more; so it'd make sense that'd I'd go after you worse than anyone else. Even when I was busy trying to be HBIC and treating you like crap, I always had a lot of respect for you. I know I never showed you in the right way, but I did. I was so stuck on myself though that I couldn't have told you even if I wanted to."

"So you think you could have had feelings for me back then, but were just too blinded by parents and pressure to see it?"

Quinn shrugged beneath her shoulder as she intertwined their fingers. "I guess it's possible. But does it really matter now?"

Rachel leaned up on her elbow and smiled down at Quinn. "I guess it doesn't. I'm rather enjoying where we are now."

"It is rather nice." Quinn lifted her hand and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Rachel's ear. "How could I have not seen just how beautiful you were?" She grinned as Rachel turned her head and grazed her lips against Quinn's palm.

"As long as you see it now, that's all that matters."

"I do. You have to know how beautiful I think you are." Quinn's hand slid behind Rachel's neck, slowly pulling the woman forward, feeling her heart race as Rachel's lips neared her own.

Rachel tilted her head, closing the distance between them, their laced fingers braced against Quinn's hip. Rachel didn't hesitate to deepen their kiss almost instantly, allowing Quinn's hands to guide her almost on top of the woman. She'd never felt a kiss as soft or as passionate as Quinn's, one that made her feel so much. Finn had once told her that kissing Quinn had felt like fireworks, but even as the thought filtered through her mind, she knew he was wrong. Kissing Quinn was like a wave, starting slowly, building momentum, crashing over you. Rachel was overwhelmed by the feelings flowing over her, flooding her heart with joy and love, thundering through her veins like a wave crashing upon shore. Kissing her wasn't like a firework, it was a wave, rushing towards the shore, breaking with a whispered moan, an exhale of warm moist air, before rolling out again, contently ebbing and flowing into one another. It was like being drenched in water so sweet and warm that you could drown in it and be utterly happy to do so.

Quinn's arms held her tighter as the blonde flicked her tongue against the roof of Rachel's mouth, drawing out a long moan and all thoughts of waves and fireworks died as the sensation shot straight down her spine. She pressed her body closer to Quinn's, wanting nothing more than to crawl inside her skin and never leave.

"You're smiling." Rachel's words danced across Quinn's lips before kissing her again.

"I could kiss you forever."

Rachel hummed in agreement before finally pulling away, struggling to catch her breath. "As much as I wouldn't mind that, we're supposed to meet your mother tomorrow, so we probably should get some rest."

Quinn groaned as dropped her hands to the bed. "Ugh! You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn's cheek before dropping herself onto the bed next to Quinn. "I figured we both needed something to cool us down. We're not ready to take the next step yet and if you kept kissing me like that, I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself."

"That's not helping." Quinn sighed as she rubbed her hands over her face.

"I believe I once told you that girls wanted sex just as much as boys. Just because we're women now doesn't mean that fact has changed." Rachel watched in confusion as Quinn began to quickly crawl over, snatching up her phone and pillow. "Where are you going?"

"To sleep in the guest room. I can't lay next to you after what you just said."

Rachel looked at Quinn as she gathered up a few more things and headed towards the door. "Did I offend you?"

Quinn stopped, the door handle cool under her palm, and shook her head. She took a deep breath before spinning on her heel, quickly making it back over to the bed. She didn't want there to be any misunderstandings between them like there had been that morning. Quinn leaned down and took Rachel's face between her hands, kissing her with every ounce of love and passion she felt for the woman.

"I'm leaving, because if I stay, I'm going to end up trying to have my way with you and you're right, we're not there yet."

Quinn smiled to herself as she heard Rachel whimper and fall back on the bed as she left the room. 

* * *

**Damn their sensibilities. The tension just may end up killing them after all! ****Still a lot I want to cover before the holidays as I'll probably be unable to update for the week before and after Christmas ****so look for **a few faster/longer updates because of that. ********This really didn't begin as a holiday story, but it's kind of turned into one for the moment, so look for a night of Hanukkah, some Christmas cheer, and fun filled New Years Eve. And of course, Judy, more Glee Alumni, and more sweet lady kisses.****


	14. Panic and Acceptance

**Apparently, I am incapable of writing a short chapter. I'm worried I killed you all with the massive amount of words, fluff, and sexual tension in the last chapter, so I'm evening it out with a bit of drama in this one. Warning: This is completely unedited as I'm getting to the end of my semester and life is crazy.**

* * *

Quinn sighed as she stepped from the vehicle, dreading this more than anything she had in a long time. She had decided after talking with Rachel that they would meet with her mother sometime after the Hanukkah celebration was over. She knew that they could have met sooner, but she had wanted to get her feet under her and adjust to being back in the town she'd grown up in. Not much had changed since she'd last been there, other than her status as a celebrity, but apparently that was a big enough change. It seemed that when two huge stars coming into town, together no less, it was something to take notice of. Quinn knew that it was nothing for Rachel, she'd experienced it all before on her many visits since becoming a Broadway star, but this was Quinn's first time back with it since landing her role on _Steel_.

Of course she' d had her run ins with fans and the press out in LA, for the most part she was a face among many and was relatively left to her own devices. Granted, there were times when the paparazzi would hound her, or do something weird like hid in her bushes at the end of her road, but that was LA, it was to be expected. Lima though, Lima was totally different, and waking up to find Jacob Ben Israel, who unsurprisingly was a local television reporter, on the door step looking for an interview was a little unnerving. As was the fact that he trailed the two of them where ever they went. She cursed her luck, and the universe. Judy had called first thing Monday morning to chastise Quinn for not letting her know the moment she arrived to town disappointed her had to hear it on the local talk radio show rather than from her own daughter. Quinn swallowed hard remember the short conversation. She felt like she was back in high school as a freshman who couldn't tell her parent's no as her mother demanded that Quinn join her for a lunch date the next day.

Quinn felt her breath grow shorter in her chest and her palms begin to sweat. She hadn't had time to prepare. Really, was there anyway to come out? To a parent you've been almost estranged from for so long? What was the etiquette? Quinn began to hyperventilate. She didn't know what she was going to say, and she was more than a little terrified of what her mother would do.

Rachel saw the panic fill Quinn's face the moment she got out of the car and quickly moved around. She slid her small hand into Quinn's and squeezed, sighing in relief when two scared eyes met her own. "Quinn, sweetie, you need to breath." Blonde hair bounced as Quinn nodded and took a deep breath. "It _will_ be okay. And no matter what happens today, you still have me, you still have people who love and care for you. Just remember that okay? It's not like last time. You're not alone and if I have anything to say about it, which believe me, I do, whole PowerPoint presentations worth if need be, you'll never be alone again."

Quinn smiled slightly at the joke, though she was sure Rachel could whip up a dozen or more PowerPoint slides on the subject. The teasing was what she needed though to get out of her a little bit and she couldn't help but look at Rachel with thanks and relief. She brought Rachel's hand to her lips and pressed a small kiss to it. She knew there was a possibility that Ben Israel could possibly catch a picture and have it on his twitter account in mere seconds, but at the moment she didn't care. And really, it wasn't like she was making out with the woman in the parking lot, though she wouldn't have minded stealing a kiss or two. She really needed to call her agent and let her know that they might want to get their PR people on stand by. Yes, she played a lesbian on TV but she had always been coy about her actual orientation; mainly due to the woman they were going to see if Quinn could just get her feet to move.

Quinn eyed Rachel and then the building behind me. "Help me?"

"You've got this, Quinn. Now, come on, it would be impolite to show up tardy." Rachel knew that she'd have to give Quinn a push, maybe even literally. She couldn't imagine being in Quinn's shoes, she'd never really discussed her orientation with her father's, but then again, it wasn't something that really mattered to them one way or another, as long as she was happy. She tugged at Quinn's hand, trying to get her moving, surprised when it actually worked, and even more surprised when Quinn tightened their grip when Rachel tried to pull her hand way. She looked down at their hands in question, but Quinn ignored the look and held the door for her with her free hand.

She only finally let go when Judy swept her up in her arms, hugging her tight. It scared the hell out of Quinn. Her family had never been affectionate and she could only remember a handful of times where her mother had actually hugged her.

"Hello mother." She tried to keep the quiver from her voice as she stepped back and motioned towards her best friend? girlfriend? her Rae. "I'm not sure if you remember…"

"Rachel Berry, it's nice to meet you again." Judy said warmly as she shook Rachel's hand, urging them both to sit after. "I didn't know that you would be joining us today."

"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? No of course not dear. It's a pleasure to have you."

Quinn eyed her mother as the waiter handed them their menus and told them the specials of the day, not that Quinn had paid any attention. She was too busy trying to figure out her mother's out-of-character behavior. Her mother had never been touchy-feely, much less warm and welcoming and Quinn couldn't help but wonder what her angle was. Was it because of Quinn's celebrity status? The Fabray image? She felt like a cynical asshole but she'd seen it all for so long that she couldn't help but see her mother's actions as anything other than insincere. The three women quietly looked over the menu before placing their order.

"So how was the trip? I saw you both on the Macy's float! That was amazing. I sometimes forget what a talented singer you are, dear." Judy smiled over at her daughter. Quinn squirmed under her mother's proud stare.

"I told Quinn she needs to sing in public more often. She really does have an amazing voice."

"As do you dear. I remember you back from when you and my Quinnie were in that singing group in high school. Seems your talent has only grown."

Quinn smiled as Rachel blushed, glad she wasn't the only one feeling somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Mrs. Fabray. That is very nice of you to say."

Judy Fabray waved off the thanks. "Please, you can call me Judy. Mrs. Fabray was my mother-in-law and she was a horrid woman." Quinn nodded her head at the assessment. The woman had been retched. "So how did you and Quinn manage to reconnect?"

Rachel wasn't sure what to make of the woman yet, which baffled her. In a lot of ways, she was like Quinn –an enigma she just couldn't help but want to unravel. In high school she'd been drawn to the woman but she could never figure her out. Even when she smiled there always seemed to be something behind her eyes. Yet, with Mrs. Fabray, it actually seemed like she was being genuine, which went against everything she had ever known about the woman.

She shook her head, realizing that Mrs. Fabray was waiting for an answer and looked over at Quinn and smiled. "Quinn and I became friends towards the end of our senior year and we kept in contact through out college and my first years on Broadway. I guess our real friendship began when she took a train from Yale to come to New York my first year there. She… well, she stopped me from doing something that at the time I had my heart and mind set to do." She rolled her eyes as Quinn snorted. "Fine, it was a completely ludicrous notion that would have probably ruined any chances I had at a career in Broadway. It took me a long while after that to realize just what she'd done for me, but when I did, I reached out to her."

"She showed up at my dorm room, completely soaked from head to toe due to a freak downpour, and proceeded to call me an idiot." Quinn laughed.

"And that made you become good friends?"

"The reason she did it, did. After that, we talked, or emailed whenever we could. I'd go up and visit her, or if she didn't have a show, she'd come down and spend some time with me and my Yale buddies."

"Do you remember that little dueling piano place we went to one of your first trips to New York?" Rachel asked, grinning ear to ear. It was probably one of her favorite memories, other than her first trip to New Haven.

Quinn couldn't help but smile. "I just told Kurt about that place over Thanksgiving. Too bad it closed down."

"I'd love to open a place like that, just a little dive bar where no ones and maybes could come and just enjoy singing with a live band."

"You would." Quinn smiled, picturing Rachel up on stage and her behind the bar serving drinks. It could be fun. Maybe she'd talk Rachel into if either of the ever decided to retire. Quinn looked over at her mother who just seemed to be happily watching them. "So yeah, that's about it."

Rachel watched Judy nod, but could see the lingering questions laying in wait as they were served their meal. Rachel was just glad that Mrs. Fabray had chosen one of the nicer country clubs to dine in, because in town where some of the best restaurants where called things like the Beer Barrel or Bread Stix, you're not going to expect much. At least the country club was high end enough to offer vegan and vegetarian options without having to berate the entire staff in order to get a decent meal. The women let their discussion fall to the way side as they began to eat, or in Quinn's case, pick, at their food.

"So how did you end up out in LA?" Judy asked after they'd each gotten a good way into their meal.

Quinn smirked and Rachel narrowed her eyes at the woman in a challenge. They both knew she'd shown up crying, but she was hoping Quinn would be kind enough not to bring that up. But she forgot, Quinn usually wasn't kind. Sweet yes. Loving, smart, brilliant, of course. But rarely kind.

"She showed up at my door all wet again. And this time it wasn't because of the rain."

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at the giggling woman next to her. "You're a brat."

"Takes one to know one."

They both looked up at Quinn's mother cleared her throat. "What Quinn is trying to say, is I showed up at her house one night upset because my show in New York had been cancelled."

"I think I heard something about that. Are you going to be in it now that they're bringing it back?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side in wonderment. Judy must keep a very close eye on the theater world to know that there was talking of relaunching the show. "I'm surprised you know about that." She said honestly. "I was approached to reprise my role in The Son, but I declined."

"Wait, what?" Quinn glanced between the two women, confused. "How did I not know that The Son was going to be revived? Rae? Why didn't you tell me?"

Rachel heard the hurt that Quinn tried to hide in her voice as she tried to think how to answer honestly, with Quinn's mother sitting directly across from her. "It's still tentative, but it's looking more and more like it's going to happen. I, well, I got a call a few days before Thanksgiving."

"And you turned them down?" Quinn asked incredulously.

Rachel bit her lip and looked down at her plate, pushing some of her pasta around. She hadn't wanted to tell Quinn because she knew that Quinn would push her to pursue it, and at the time she'd gotten the call, she was too busy wanting to pursue Quinn. She had also been burned by the failed production and was worried that the show was tainted, worried that if she went back and it failed again, she'd lose her love of Broadway. And if they were alone, she'd tell Quinn as much, but she didn't want to do it here and now, where anyone could over hear them, in front of Quinn's mother. She didn't want her to see her as the failure she felt like she was the day she knocked on Quinn's door.

Rachel sighed and shrugged her shoulders, finally looking up to meet Quinn's gaze. "I did." She said with more certainty than she felt. "I have too many projects going on out on the West Coast right now," she gave Quinn a pointed look. "Broadway will be there if and when I decide to return."

"If?"

"Yes, if, Quinn."

Quinn could tell by her tone of voice that the conversation was over, at least for the moment. She couldn't begrudge her for not wanting to speak about it in front of her mother but she wasn't going to let this go, not as easily as Rachel wanted her to. It wasn't just that Rachel had turned down the role, she had a feeling she knew what some of the reasoning behind that was, the main one being their budding relationship. Bu the idea that Rachel was even possibly considering not returning to the stage, Quinn couldn't, she wouldn't accept that. It was Rachel's dream to be on the stage, and while Quinn knew she could possibly be just as happy on the big screen, Rachel was _born_ for the stage. She stared at the woman before her before she nodded. She knew Rachel saw the determination in her eye to get answers when she sighed and nodded minutely.

"Okay." Quinn nodded and shook her head. This day was just too weird.

The women fell into an awkward silence as they finished their meals and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief as the waiter whisked away their dishes, knowing that their lunch was drawing to an end.

"What was it like working on _Steel_ Rachel?" Judy's question jolted both women who had both been lost in their own thoughts.

"It was… an experience." Rachel nodded to herself. "The cast is absolutely fabulous."

"Well of course, my daughter is a part of it." Judy chuckled and smiled over at Quinn, lightly patting her hand on top Quinn's.

"It's the first time that Quinn and I had worked together since high school and back then we were usually at each other's throats, so it was a learning experience. It was nice though. And April, she is a character in and of herself."

"April Paden, she's the actress who plays Alexa Garnet." Quinn clarified.

"The cute redhead?"

"You say cute, I say a terror, but yes, that's the one."

"She's not the bad, Quinn!"

"Says the woman she gave a eulogy for."

Rachel laughed, "You do have a point."

"So ladies, you must tell me, do the sparks fly as much off the screen as they did on?"

Quinn looked at her mom and blinked. Just blinked.

Her world stopped for just a moment.

Every thought process in her head had completely stopped.

Every movement in the restaurant surrounding them stopped.

Every sound. Every breath. Stopped.

She would have swore if she looked at a clock in that moment, it too would have stopped.

She blinked again, and all at once, everything came rushing back at her. The noise became uncomfortably loud. Every word spoken around them, every piece of cutlery hitting a plate, even the sound of her own breathing threatened to overwhelm her. It was too much, too fast, and she felt like it was cutting off every breath that she took.

"Quinn, sweetie, you need to breath. Just breath with me?"

Two warm hands cupped her face, begging her to take a breath as the world swam before her eyes. The colors and movement were too much, too fast, all becoming a blur beyond the two eyes staring into her own.

"Come on baby, breath for me. Just slow, easy breaths, can you do that?"

Quinn wasn't sure she could. It felt like someone was sitting on her chest and she couldn't breath, she knew she had to, she knew that, but she couldn't get passed the pressure on her chest.

"Just breath with me, okay, take a deep breath in and hold it," Quinn nodded, her eyes swimming with tears as she tried to take a deep breath, but it seemed to catch in her throat. "Just a little bit more. Good, now breath out. Come on Quinn, you can do this."

Quinn nodded again, trying to copy the breathing pattern being exaggerated for her. Tears streamed down her face as she finally began to breath, deeper and easier with each breath pulled desperately into her lungs. Tears were wiped as fast as they came, soothing words surrounding her, blurring together, but comforting none the less. She heard more murmurs from around her, but none of them seemed to make sense, nothing filtered through to her other than they eyes that stayed locked on hers and the hands brushing against her cheeks.

Quinn began to panic as the hands pulled away, desperately grabbing at them.

"Quinn, I need you to let me go for just a moment. We're going to take you home okay? I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Quinn nodded and felt herself be lifted into two strong arms, not knowing or caring who it was. She whimpered as the two eyes moved away from her, only to come back within a moment, joined by worried brown ones. 

* * *

Quinn slowly woke to the sound of two voices speaking quietly nearby. She couldn't remember where she was or how she'd gotten there, but her head throbbed painfully.

"Shh, lay still, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

Everything came back to Quinn in a flash as she stared up at the same two worried eyes that had helped calm her.

"Mom?" Quinn's voice sounded raw and tired in her own ears.

"You gave us quite the scare." Judy chuckled humorlessly.

"Where's Rae?" No sooner than the words left her lips did she see the diva over her mother's shoulder. She still couldn't place where she was thought the room did look vaguely familiar.

Rachel smiled and walked around the coffee table to sit on the couch next to Quinn. "I'm here, love." She said softly, slipping her hand into Quinn's who crushed it in a death grip.

She looked down at their hands and the up at Quinn. She' was scared, so scared. She saw the confusion in Quinn's eyes, the questions over what occurred and couldn't help but feel her heart restrict. She knew that Quinn had been terrified of telling her mother about them, about her, but she truly didn't expect what happened in the restaurant.

"You had a panic attack Quinn, a pretty bad one."

Quinn nodded, remember the question her mom had asked before her world had shut down. She also remembered hazel eyes, so similar to her own, talking her through it all. Quinn looked up at her mother in wonder.

"You…. you helped me?"

Judy smiled, though there was no joy in the expression. "It's what a parent is supposed to do. I.." Quinn watched her mother falter, and furrowed her brow. Her mother didn't stutter, didn't falter, she knew what she wanted, what she was going to say, and what the answer would be before she ever began to talk.

Quinn was surprised when she saw Rachel take her mother's hand in her free one. "Just tell her what you told me, Judy."

Judy looked up at the brunette and nodded. "I'm usually so eloquent and poised, but you scared me today, Quinn, so please forgive me if this is a jumbled mess. This is not how I envisioned today happening. I am not sure what I expected, no, that is not true. I expected you to turn your back on me, to tell me that we could never have a relationship, because I know I do not truly deserve one with you." Quinn wasn't sure if her mother expected her to disagree or not, so she kept silent. Judy only waited a moment before she continued.

"I have made far too many mistakes, even before I let Russell throw away my baby girl. I never knew how to relate to my girls and there were so many rules I thought I was supposed to follow. I was supposed to be the perfect wife, with the perfect children, and God forbid if you or Frannie ever stepped out of line. Your father was a tyrant and by the time you were old enough to understand what was going on, I was too busy hiding from him in a bottle to be the mother you needed me to be.

I'm not asking your forgiveness, because even if you ever do find it in you to forgive me, I will never be able to forgive myself for how I treated you…"

"Why?" Quinn interrupted.

"I'm not sure I understand the question. Why can't I forgive myself?"

Quinn shook her head, adamantly. "Why? Why now? What's changed to make you tell me all of this now? Now that I'm grown? Now that I no longer need you?"

Rachel watched the older Fabray wince and deflate under the questions Quinn threw at her. Her tone wasn't hurtful, just honestly searching for answers. They were valid questions and ones that Quinn would need answers to before she could begin to heal. She just hoped that Judy had the courage, and that Quinn would actually listen.

"I know I have missed so much time with you, and you're right, you probably don't need me now. You needed me when you were growing up, and I wasn't there for you mentally, or emotionally. You needed me when you became pregnant and then I wasn't even there for you physically." Judy hesitated only a moment before she continued, looking over Quinn's should at a wall covered with pictures, a wall Rachel had saw and stared at in awe, a wall that she knew Quinn had yet to see. She had a feeling once Quinn did, a lot of her questions would be answered.

"I have gone through a lot these last few years while you were away, Quinn. I… Well, I guess it started when Fran brought Lucy to see me the first time. Holding Lucille, I realized just how much I had lost. She reminded me so much of you and all the dreams I had when I first became a mother. She reminded me of holding your sister for the first time and promising her that I'd do better than my mother did. She made me remember how tired and jaded I already felt by the time you were born, and how utterly unfair that was to you. She reminded me of how much of your life I had missed out on by doing what I thought I was _supposed_ to do, instead of doing what I _should have_ done. I didn't change overnight, but that first visit opened my eyes to things I had blinded myself to to try to pretend everything was okay."

"But it wasn't okay, it was never okay." Quinn's broken voice interrupted.

"Oh, sweetie, I know, and I am so, so, very sorry. There is nothing I can do will ever make up for that. No amount of words or apologies can ever make up for the life you were forced to live. I am truly, utterly sorry for everything your father and I put you through…"

"Don't apologize for him!" Quinn snapped, sitting up a bit on the couch to lean against the arm. She ran her hand through her hair angrily. Quinn wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore. She was lost and confused and just angry. She didn't know who this woman was sitting in front of her, looking just as lost and broken, and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"Quinn?"

Quinn had almost forgot that her love sat next to her, listening to every word her mother had spoken. She looked up, falling instantly into the love and concern that filled Rachel's eyes.

"I know you need time to think about what your mother is telling you, time to process everything, but please don't pull away."

Quinn shook her head and sighed. "I can't promise anything."

"There… there's something else."

Quinn bit her lip. If Rachel was the one prefacing the next part of their discussion, there was no way it could be good.

"I wasn't going to tell you, but Rachel insisted you'd want to know."

Quinn felt the dread begin to boil in her stomach. "W-what is it?"

"I… I'm fine, I'm healthy, the doctor's gave me the all clear…" Judy stumbled over her words and looked up at Rachel for help.

"Your mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. She's been in remission for over two years now."

Quinn felt like she'd been punched in the gut. No fuckin' way. No. She just…. just no. The two women watched as Quinn untangled herself from the couch and stepped around them, heading towards the door, and as much as they both wanted to go after her, they knew she needed time.

Quinn stopped and briefly looked around, finally realizing she was in her childhood home, though it looked nothing like the last time she'd walked out the door. The house that once felt like more of a museum than a home was now warm and welcoming. Everything from the ostentatious furniture and wall paper to the once plush carpets had been changed, just like everything else in her life seemed to be changing. _What the fuck was I even thinking coming back here? _Quinn thought to herself as she stood and stared at entryway wall, really seeing it for the first time. She couldn't help but be a little in awe of it. There were pictures of her, from the time she was in elementary school, all the way up to some beautiful black and white shots she'd had done the year before. There were pictures of Fran and the kids. Even pictures she'd once taken. A whole mural of frames tastefully overlapping until it covered almost the entire wall.

She once again felt the air leave her chest. She was staring at the proof her mother had changed. Not just the pictures, but what they meant. Her parents never displayed any pictures of them growing up. The house was always so cold, meant to be seen but not to truly be lived in. Now, where wallpaper and high priced art adorned the walls, warm caramel paint and family portraits embraced them. The expensive, plush carpet had given way to beautiful hardwood floors. Where furnishings that once belonged in a museum once stood now was filled with comfortable, well used furniture. And it was all too much. Quinn spun on her heal and left the house.

Rachel stared at the spot Quinn had stood moments ago. She knew Quinn was hurting and confused and overwhelmed and there was nothing she could do but give her the time and space she needed until she was ready to talk about it. And she hated it.

"I… I should probably go."

Judy looked up at the diva's soft spoken words. "I wish you wouldn't. I really would like to get to know the woman who has stolen my daughter's heart."

Rachel met Judy's eyes and let out a deep breath. It was silly to try to deny anything after the scene they'd caused in the club. She was still a little stunned by how quickly Judy had sprung into action to take care of her daughter; though she still warred between respecting the older blonde for it, and being jealous that she wasn't the one taking care of Quinn.

"I… she… well, she hasn't said she loves me." Rachel admitted quietly.

"And you'd be blind not to see it."

"Did you? See it? Would you have?"

She knew Judy understood what she was asking. Would she have seen it if she hadn't watched _Steel_, would she have known for sure if Quinn hadn't admitted it with the strength of her panic attack. They'd talked over the hour or so it took Quinn to regain consciousness, but it was very similar to what she finally told her daughter. Now she wanted to know for sure how Quinn's mother would handle this, because she'd be damned if she'd let the woman hurt Quinn another time.

Judy nodded and stood up. "Would you like some coffee?" She asked in lieu of an answer, not waiting for Rachel to respond before she turned and walked out of the room. Rachel watched the door that Judy had wandered through and finally decided to follow her, knowing it was the only way she'd et answers. It seemed like the apple really didn't fall far from the tree. Whenever Quinn wanted to think, she did one of two things, she worked out –walked, jogged, biking, anything to get her moving. Or she cooked. Apparently the latter was a habit she learned from her mother.

Rachel stood awkwardly in the Fabray kitchen and watched as Judy puttered around the kitchen, first starting an elaborate coffee machine, then digging out different ingredients and utensils. Judy finally stopped and turned towards Rachel.

"You know, I think Quinn was blind to it, but I always saw it there, right under the surface. I guess that's part of the reason I pushed her so hard. Why I wanted her to be head cheerleader, to be the president of the celibacy club, to do anything she could to be normal. I know that's not fair to her, and after I started watching her show, I realized how wrong it was to do that to her. I actually started to go to a few PFlag meetings after I saw her kiss another woman on the show. It was my wake up call, I guess you could say. It wasn't easy, but, well, your fathers' are amazing."

"My dads?"

"You do know they run the local Pflag correct?" Rachel nodded in understanding. "They really were great about answering my questions and concerns and stupidity."

"It's not stupidity."

"No, it was. It was stupid of me to try to force Quinn to be something she wasn't. I believe you were around at the time her father kicked her out." Judy grimaced as she looked down into the bowl of flour she was mixing. "When I _let_ him kick her out without saying a damn word." The woman hesitated for a moment before she turned away, grabbing something out of the cabinet. Rachel had a feeling she was also wiping her eye and her suspicion was confirmed as she watched the woman dab her eyes. "I think, I would like to think I'm smart enough to have seen it. Even if I never saw a minute of _Steel _or never thought about the possibility of Quinn being a lesbian, or whatever she identifies as, I think I would have saw what was happening between the you and my daughter. For one, you two are a bit obvious, obliviously so. You two stare at each other like two people in love do." Judy turned and began to scoop out dough onto the pan she'd grabbed. "I may not have handled it as well, if I did not have some sort of previous idea. I would hedge to bet that is more along the lines of what you wanted to ask me."

Judy had looked up and locked eyes with Rachel, almost challenging her to ask. "I know you have questions, real questions, so why don't we save the small talk for after?"

Rachel stared at the woman who stared straight back and finally nodded her head. Rachel straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. "Fine. I want to know is how you will handle our relationship? This isn't something that is bound to stay quiet long. Quinn doesn't want to hide it, and I'm not ashamed of who I love. Quite the opposite actually. So it will be on the cover of magazines, in every newspaper, plastered on the front page of websites. Our names will be trending on Twitter and on the lips of everybody in this town. Every single person you know will know your daughter is gay. And every damn one of them will have an opinion. Some will be favorable, most will not. Your friends will look at you in _that _way. Your pastor will corner you. You'll loose friends even if you don't support us. You will get hundreds of calls a day trying to get information from you. You will get calls telling you that you are going to hell for allowing your daughter to follow this path. Just when you think it's all died down, or blown over, someone will spot us with a male lead and it will bring up allegations of cheating and the windstorm will start up again. Or we'll get engaged. Or have a child. Or star in a new movie. There are a million different reasons and none of them really matter. What does matter is how you will handle it. What I want to know is how you will treat Quinn now that you know for sure she is gay?" Rachel raised a finger to indicate she wasn't finished. "What I want to know if you're going to hurt her again? She wants a relationship with you, even if the idea of one scares the hell out of her, and if you can't handle this? Her being gay? The crap that will come from it when she comes out? You need to tell her now. Like right this moment, before she gets any more invested in this. Yes, it will hurt her, but she'll at least be able to move forward. If you decide later that you can't do this? She is strong and she has come so, so very far, but you have the chance to completely break her."

Judy watched the brunette sitting at the island across from her in awe. "I want to answer you honestly, Rachel. I want to say without a doubt that I won't hurt her and that I completely support her, but you've given me a lot to think about."

Rachel sat quietly as the woman fell silent, watching as she continued to prep what seemed to be a rather large batch of peanut butter cookies. She smiled almost to herself as she noticed that each of the ingredients were vegan friendly and it gave her a little bit of hope. She knew she was pushing Quinn's mom, but right now, someone needed to be brutally honest with her for Quinn's sake.

"I think on the surface, I was more than willing to accept Quinn." Judy's soft voice finally broke the silence. "I didn't mean to scare her today. I honestly thought it would be a good way to break the ice." Judy snorted to herself. "I actually had that line planned ever since Fran told me she was reconnecting with her sister. Of course Quinn would be upset. I didn't think about what all accepting her would mean, and I thank you for laying it out for me, but knowing doesn't mean I am going to run, Rachel. Going through it –I would go through anything for my daughter's happiness. I don't have a great track record with that; I've turned my back on her too many times in the past. I was incapable of loving her the way she should have been loved; I wasn't a mother to her. I've given her enough reasons to think I wouldn't accept her for who she is, that I would turn my back on her." Rachel could hear the self-deprecation coating her voice and made her way around the island. She laid her hand on Judy's arm, stopping her frantic movements, but otherwise stayed silent. She felt Judy give an uncharacteristic shrug, the movement stiff and unpracticed as the woman looked over at her and gave her a sad smile. "I don't want to hurt her, Rachel, I swear to you. The only way I can show that to her, to you, that I'm not that same woman I was, not the same woman who hurt her is by showing her how I've changed. If she lets me. I have made so many mistakes and as much as I want, I can't take away the pain she's felt. But hopefully, if she allows me, I may at least ease it some. I was serious when I told her I'm not looking for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. All I'm hoping for is that she will be willing to give me a chance."

"I can do that."

Both women jumped at the rough, gravelly sound of Quinn's voice.

"How much of that did you hear, dear?"

Quinn gave her mother a shaky smile. "Enough."


	15. Comfort and Stars

**The beginning of Hanukkah starts tomorrow so I thought this was the perfect time to get this chapter out. It's a day late, but with Christmas pageants to attend, a house to clean, and trying to get packed, I'm surprised I've gotten anything written this week. ****I'm not Jewish but I tried to be as accurate as possible. ****That being said any and all mistakes are my own! To all my Jewish readers out there...**

**HAPPY HANUKKAH!**

* * *

"I'm really sorry we missed the lighting the candles tonight, Rae. I know the holiday means a lot to you and your dads." Rachel loved the crooked small smile Quinn sent her way when she handed her three gifts, one from each of her dad's and one from herself.

The corners of her lips slowly lifted upward into a lazy smile as she settled herself on the bed across from Quinn. "We still have three days left, and it's not the first time I've missed a night or two of Hanukkah for some reason or another. Technically, Hanukkah is not a religious holiday even though it is the most well-known Jewish holiday. Really, it is a celebration of a great miracle, so I guess it's not as bad as say, skipping out on Passover." They had ended up spending the evening talking with Judy for hours. Rachel had tried to leave to give the women time to bond but both of them insisted she stay. It was nice to get to see a side of Quinn that she didn't know and to get to know her mother just a little bit. It had been nice, a bit stressful, but overall nice. Everything about it though had worn them both out, and she knew that Quinn was still a little weighed down by the experience.

Quinn leaned against the head-board and played with the edge of the wrapping paper covering on of the boxes in her hand. She shook her head at herself, realizing that something that such a big part of Rachel, something that was a large part of Puck as well, she knew virtually nothing about. She never took the time with Puck to find out, having pretty much washed her hands of religion at the time and now she felt like she was missing out on something so vitally important to the woman she loved. Maybe it had something to do with rekindling her relationship with her mother, or maybe it was because of Rachel, but she kind of wanted to know more. It wasn't like she was planning on switching religions, but it would be nice to share something like that with Rachel.

"Tell me about it? Like, I know there was some battle or something over a temple and there was like a lamp or something that only had oil for a day but it ended up burning for eight? Which is why you have eight nights right?" Quinn looked up at Rachel through her lashes and watched as Rachel tried to bite back her smile.

"You really want to know?" When she nodded Rachel's smile spread into a full grin, making her heart soar just a little bit at the site.

"Okay, well, like I said, it really isn't a religious holiday; it's not in the Torah but it does have a lot of the same morals and values. Jewish religious holidays would be like Rosh Hahanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover, to name a few. And you have the basic storyline down about the celebration." Quinn smiled as she watched Rachel settle into story telling mode.

"The Greeks were great philosophers and they accepted the Torah as a book of wisdom, though they never embraced it as something holy. The Jewish Temple was seized by Syrian-Greek soldiers who made the observance of Judaism an offense punishable by death, forcing the Jewish population to worship Zeus. After many years under Greek rule, they made learning the Torah illegal, along with anything to do with Judaism. It was a time of persecution for all Jews but eventually a small band of Jews rose up against the Greek armies. They became known as the Maccabees, a word that means hammer in Hebrew. They would study Torah and when the Greeks came around, they would pretend to be playing a game, dreidel. Finally, after years of gathering Jewish fighters, and scoring small victories, they led a revolt and succeeded. The Maccabees retook their ancestral land and on the twenty-fifth day of Kislev, the third month of the Jewish year, they made their way to the Beit Hamikdash, the second Temple, which had been desecrated by the Grecian army. They rummaged through the ruins to find only one flask of pure olive oil with which to light the makeshift menorah they hastily put together. As you said, there was only enough to burn for one night, but amazingly, the oil lasted for eight. Just enough time for another batch of oil to be created. And since we don't really celebrate the war and conflict that led up to recapturing the Jewish temple, we celebrate the miracle of oil."

Quinn took Rachel's hand from where it sat on the bed between them and kissed her palm. She loved hearing Rachel talk. She wasn't sure when that had changed; she found that though it had once drove her up the wall she now found comfort in it. And after the upheaval of today, of being faced with her mother and losing control, having a panic attack –which was something she thought she out grew when she left Lucy behind in middle school, hearing Rachel basically tell her mother she was in love with her, and her mother not only being okay with it, but still wanting to be a part of her life? Yeah, it was a bit overwhelming and right now, she just needed normalcy. She needed Rae talking a mile a minute about something she was passionate about, so she softly asked Rachel to continue. Rachel looked at her for a moment before she nodded and proceeded.

"Basically, each night an additional candle on the Hanukkiah, or menorah, is lit. I'm sure you noticed that we say blessings, three berakhot: the blessing over the candles, the blessing for Hanukkah -a pray for the miracle of the oil and our ancestors, and the Shehecheyanu, which is said the first night and is a blessing said on new or unusual experiences. We don't often perform Shabbat, but we always during Hanukkah, so we'll be lighting the candles earlier that day than we have all week." Rachel knew Quinn was still a little lost in her head when she didn't respond or ask questions as she normally would. Still, she somehow knew that Quinn just needed her to carry on a bit longer, so she tried to think of every little piece of information she could. She pulled her feet under her and crossed her legs, letting Quinn play with her fingers as continued.

"My family passes out one small gift each after dinner and lighting the candles. We tend to save the bigger gifts for when we celebrate Christmas with Daddy's family. You know that I am a performer and that my love of all things music comes from my fathers, so we usually tend to sing traditional songs after we light the candles, but not everyone does this. Some people believe that every person should light their own menorah because it brings more light into the world, but I grew up just lighting one as a family, and most of my Jewish friends did too. It is also a tradition to put the menorah by the window for everyone to see in order to publicize the miracle of Hanukkah. This doesn't happen nearly as often anymore, because there are dangers associated with that, but many people like my family have an electronic one that we put in our window. Dad has one of those he got from his Bubbe, my great-grandmother, but truthfully I think it is as unsafe as putting burning candles next to our curtains. It's so old that I'm sure one day it's going to cause a fire. Of course, when we light that, it doesn't count as lighting the candles."

Rachel hesitated and shook her head. She knew there were better parts of the celebration or her religion that she could talk about, even memories she had of it from when she was a child, but it was hard to organize her thoughts when she couldn't tear her eyes from the woman across from her; it was hard to think at all when the woman was touching her so softly, seeming to be content to just listen to the sound of her voice no matter what she was saying. Which was probably good because she honestly wasn't even really sure what she was saying. Information just leaked from her mind to her lips without really thinking about it. She was more entranced with the blonde across from her, just watching Quinn as the woman watched her fingers slide in and around Rachel's. She was stunningly beautiful and it made Rachel's voice catch for a moment when Quinn looked up at her, her eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"Keep going."

Rachel nodded and swallowed around the emotion that suddenly overwhelmed her. "W-we have some uh, some traditions my family does. L-like, for one night every Hanukkah, we collect money for tzedakah –which basically means charity. When I was younger it was change that we'd gathered in little banks throughout the year, but now with my Broadway success, I-uh I make a donation to a different charity every year and ask my fans to do the same. This way we are giving a gift instead of receiving one." Rachel looked off to the side. She couldn't keep talking if Quinn was going to look at her like that. "Again, this is just a tradition for my family. I love it, but I don't-"

"I love you."

Rachel's eyes shot up to Quinn's in shock, her heart beating triple time in her chest at the interruption. Quinn looked just as surprised at the words, but by the grin on her face Rachel knew she meant it. Rachel continued to blink at the blonde sitting in front of her, trying to process the words she was sure she had heard. If she had heard right.

"I-I… what?"

Quinn looked down with a sheepish smile, somewhat embarrassed. She hadn't even meant to say the words out loud, but she couldn't, and wouldn't take them back.

"I'm in love with you, Rae." Quinn shrugged. "I know, it's probably too soon to say, or not the right time, but I can't help it becau-"

Quinn was cut off by two warm lips sliding over hers insistently, her hand automatically rising to tangle in the brunette's hair as she parted her lips. Rachel slid up onto her knees, her presents falling to the side as she kissed Quinn with every ounce of passion and love she'd felt for her for so long.

Rachel pressed her forehead against Quinn's when they parted, panting and grinning widely. "God, I love you too, Quinn. I have for a long time."

Quinn ran her fingers over Rachel's high cheekbone and smiled. "Yeah?"

"I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want to scare you away."

Quinn huffed happily and brought her lips to Rachel's again, unable to ignore the pull. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Rachel Berry."

"I love you too Quinn Fabray." Rachel dropped her head back down, sliding her lips over Quinn's. Their kisses became more and more insistent and it was only the pain of a box stabbing into her hip that made Rachel pull back. Looking between them she laughed at the somewhat crushed presents scatter across Quinn's lap.

"Maybe we should unwrap these?" Rachel chuckled as she sat back.

"Oh, I do believe there is something I much rather be unwrapping at the moment." Quinn wiggle her eyes brows and laughed at the sudden darkening of Rachel's eyes. Her laughter died in her throat as she took in the sight before her. Quinn was certain she'd never seen anything more beautiful than a well kissed Rachel Berry, hair mused, lips swollen, a light flush across her skin. She licked her lips hungrily as she tried to fight down her suddenly raging hormones.

"Oh no, I will not have our first time under my parent's roof, where we would have to monitor our actions as not to disturb them." Rachel shook her head adamantly. "And not before we…" She paused for a moment and sat back on her heels, looking up nervously at her love.

"Rae?" Quinn watched Rachel retreat into her head a little bit and waited, but when nothing more came, she leaned down and caught Rachel's eye. "Before we what?"

"Quinn, will do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A date?"

Rachel nodded. "It just occurred to me that while we have become close friends, and have recently extended that title, all of our previous outings were just as that –friends. And because of that friendship, we have missed quite a few traditional dating steps. Really, when you think about it, we've almost done everything in reverse. We already know everything about one another, or the important things anyway. We moved in with each other over six months ago. We've already shared our first kiss and confessed our love. So I think it only appropriate that we go on an actual date."

Quinn smiled and nodded. "A date? I could do that."

"So yes?"

"Yes, Rae, I would love to go on a date with you."

Rachel shot forward and kissed Quinn quickly, bubbling with happiness. She felt like she could run a mile, or sing every word from the _Sound of Music._

"Good, I will plan everything out and let you know when and where. Now," Rachel forced herself to sit back, and cross her legs, even if she was practically dancing where she sat, "open your presents."

Quinn smiled and shook her head. "Which one first?"

"Open daddy's." Rachel said, pointing to the somewhat crushed box on top.

She'd gotten a journal and pen set from Hiram –she had told the men during one of their calls how much she liked to write so she was touched that they remembered. Rachel had given her a hard copy version of Bittersweet, one of her favorite Lesbian Litt books. LeRoy's gift made her laugh though –a vegetarian cookbook. The night before she'd given Rachel a cookbook stand made from reclaimed wood and a certificate for lessons with one of the hottest up and coming vegan chefs on the west coast.

Rachel smiled and muttered something along the lines of great minds before she turned to her own gifts. She smiled when she opened the gift her Daddy had given her. She slid closer so Quinn could see as well. It was a framed picture of Quinn and her he had taken during the one holiday they'd shared together a few years back. She didn't even remembered this picture being taken but it was beautifully captured, warm and filled with the colors of the holiday.

"God, look at us." Quinn whispered as she ran her fingers over the edge of the frame. "No wonder your dads seemed to know."

The two women in the picture were surrounded by friends and family but seemed to have eyes only for one another. Quinn's arm was draped over the back of the chair, her body leaned in towards Rachel. It was apparent that she'd just whispered something in Rachel's ear because the little diva had her head thrown back laughing, both of their eyes sparkling with happiness. Rachel ran her fingers over the image lovingly.

"Sometimes we are blind to what is right in front of us."

"I'm glad a few annoying people in our lives wouldn't let us continue to obliviously fumble around our feelings."

"I have a feeling that April…"

"…And Kurt."

"And probably Santana... are never going to let us hear the end of this." Rachel looked up at Quinn and cocked an eyebrow. "Kurt? Really?"

"Yeah, open your present and then I'll explain. It kind of goes with the story." Rachel opened the simple box and smiled at the star that sat cushioned within. "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." Quinn's smoky voice caressed the words that were inscribed on the back of the necklace. "When we were in New York, Kurt asked my why I called you such a juvenile name like Rae…"

"Phonetically, it is an appropriate nickname." Rachel interrupted out of habit which made Quinn smile. She lightly place her hands on Rachel's arms where they sat on her knees, her hands still holding the small gift box between them.

"True, but that's not exactly why I call you Rae. I'm going try to explain it to you better than I did to him, but I'm warning you, it might sound a bit cheesy."

"It's a good thing cheesy looks adorable on you."

Quinn rolled her eyes and fought the need to run her hand over her face and shake her head. "I must really love you, because I'm going to let that one go." Quinn chuckled before growing quiet. She really did want to explain it better than she had to Kurt, because that had been a jumbled mess, and this was too important to mess up.

"Every time I think of the sun, I think of the warmth of laying in sunrays. There's this quote that I read back at Yale that always made me think of you. It reads, 'He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.' You always loved stars, they were always your thing, but to me, you were always the sun. My eyes were always drawn to you and even when I tried not to see you, you were always there. Even back in high school you had this… You were my guiding light, who made me see what I was doing wrong and made me want to be better. You were the one who lit the path for me when I felt like I was stumbling in the dark, who would chase after my like the light of a dying day. You always had this way of looking at me and even when I tried to hide from it, your light still encompassed me. You shine brighter than anyone I have ever known, Rachel. You walk in the room and instantly it becomes brighter just because you are there. And even on the coldest days, your smile alone keeps me warm, just like a ray of sunshine."

Quinn saw the tears and happiness that filled Rachel's eyes and tried not to roll her eyes at herself. She was not an overly sentimental person, but she was trying to tell her Rae what exactly she meant to her and apparently it turned her into just as big of a mush ball as Santana was with Brittany. She shrugged internally. Maybe that wasn't such a horrible thing if it made Rachel look at her like that. She lifted her hand and wiped away the lone tear that trailed down the brunette's cheek.

"Galileo was one of the first men to show physical evidence that the planets rotate around the sun. I chose the Galileo quote because you are the center of my universe, you are my star, you are my ray of sunshine, and I know with you by my side that I have nothing to fear."

"I… Quinn… that was beautiful."

Quinn breathed out a quiet laugh as the small woman settled herself in Quinn's arms, her head just above Quinn's heart.

"I love you." Rachel sighed into Quinn's neck, never meaning those words more than she did in that moment.

"I love you too, Rae."

* * *

**A HUGE shout out and thank you to icesk8er -without her help this chapter wouldn't be. Thank you so much lady for your help, insight, and encouragement. Hope you all enjoyed. Keep an eye out for the second Hanukkah chapter later this week.**


	16. Hanukkah and Belonging

**So I've been super busy with finals, packing, and trying to get everything that the holidays bring done, so I apologize ahead of time if this chapter isn't 100% up to par. I wanted to get it posted before I take off for The Great White North on Saturday. Fourteen hours, in a car, with three kids, three adults, and a dog. Hopefully if I have any downtime in the next 48 hours I'll get another chapter out. ****Wish me luck! **

* * *

Quinn stumbled over a pair of shoes as she walked into the door of the Berry residence, surprised by the level of noise that assaulted her ears as she entered the house. When she left that morning to have breakfast with her mother, the house had been clean, quiet, and unassuming. As she looked around at the almost over-the-top blue and white decorations that covered the hallways and living room she couldn't help but wonder if she had just stepped into an alternate universe. She picked up the shoes, smaller than any that she could picture Rachel or her father's wearing and moved them to the side closet, checking her watch to confirm she'd only been gone for a little over three hours as she stepped around huge bins, bags, and shoes.

"Quinn!" The woman smiled into the massive man's shoulder as she was swept up in a hug. "You have to save me!"

Quinn laughed at LeRoy's whispered plea. "What in the world is going on here?"

LeRoy stepped back and looked at the chaos and destruction that surrounded them. "Please tell me that Rachel warned you about Hiram's family?"

Quinn eyed him warily and looked back towards the door, honestly wondering if she could make a run for it. "Should I be scared?"

"Terrified. We both should run for it now while we still can." The man's words sent a shiver down her back, but she could see the love and amusement that filled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He whispered as the kitchen door swung open and the noise level rose.

"Quinn!" Rachel bounded over to her girlfriend and threw her arms around her neck. It hit Rachel that she hadn't told Quinn about the family that would be joining them from all over the state tonight and hugged Quinn a little tighter, happy when the woman seemed to pull her closer, content to just hold her. She knew with the chaos of her family there wouldn't likely be another moment like this until the holidays were over.

Quinn hugged her close and rolled her eye at the wink LeRoy sent her before he sulked back to the kitchen when Hiram yelled for him. She decided to ignore the man and snuggled closer to her love, her heart bursting with love at the feel of the woman in her arms who seemed content to just stay there.

"Would it sound silly to say I missed you?" Quinn whispered into Rachel's hair before depositing a kiss there.

"Of course not. I would find it utterly sweet and romantic and feel inclined to tell you I missed you too."

Quinn grinned down at the loquacious woman. "In that case, I missed you Rae."

Rachel beamed up at the blonde before closing the distance between them, lightly brushing her lips across Quinn's. "I missed you too, love."

The two women quickly lost themselves in the kiss, loving the feelings that each slow caress brought them. Only the sound of an overly loud throat clearing behind them sprung them apart.

"Oye! And what do we have here?"

"Aunt Machla!" Rachel turned around and eyed the older woman glowering at them and moved to step in front of Quinn protectively. Her great-aunt was the type of woman who fed into every single Jewish stereotype there was: she was a loud, rather robust woman, with thick lips, and dark beady eyes, who made a style of wearing mitpachat and long skirts. She would yell _oy vey_ and other pointless Yiddish phrases because the woman would tell anyone who stood still long enough to listen that she fluent in both Yiddish and Hebrew, even though she had only learned as much as any of them while studying their religion. She was stingy, nagging, loud, overbearing, and overprotective. It was the last point that had Rachel the most worried.

Rachel was one of the few female children in the family, her grandmother and aunt all had boys, and only one of those boys had a daughter other than herself. Of course, all of her uncles were very protective of her, but her Aunt Machla could out do them all. The one and only time the woman had met Finn, Rachel was sure her fearsome aunt had caused the boy to wet himself a little. She knew Quinn was a stronger person and more than capable of standing up for herself, but she was afraid when pitted against her equally strong-minded relative, things could go very wrong. She watched the older woman cross her arms and stare them both down and groaned to herself. This couldn't end well.

Quinn felt the need to stand a bit straighter as the old woman ran her dark eyes up and down the two of them, appraising both her and Rachel. She stepped up closer to Rachel and placed her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder gallantly and saw the spark in the woman's eyes.

The movement broke Rachel from her thoughts and she swallowed loudly. "Auntie, I would like to introduce you to my… girlfriend… Quinn Fabray."

Quinn couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. It was the first time Rachel had said those words out loud, had introduced her as such, and even though she knew she was probably in for a world of trouble with the obviously cross older woman, she couldn't help the feelings it gave her. She smiled at Rachel as she stepped up next to her, grasping Rachel's hand in her left as she extended her right to the woman before them.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you. Rae has told me so much about you." She fibbed through her teeth and waited with her hand hanging in the air. The older woman searched her face before looking down to where Rachel's hand had intertwined with Quinn's. The two younger women both released the breath they were holding when the older woman let her stern look fall and shook Quinn's hand.

"All good things I'm sure."

"Of course." Quinn ground out, trying not to growl as the older woman squeezed her hand hard. For an old woman, she was a lot stronger than Quinn first gave her credit for. She tried to hold in the groan when the woman finally let go of her hand and turned to her niece.

"Well, I didn't know you were a faygala like your fathers. At least this one is prettier than that amoretz you brought a few years ago."

"Auntie! Finn was not an idiot."

"My poor sister would turn in her grave to know you ended up with him. He was a shtik drek and you know it. He was loud, rude, and not Jewish. That smuck would have just held you back. You deserved much better."

"Well, thankfully, I have found much better." Rachel grinned slightly at the woman next to her.

"That remains to be seen. What happened to the pisher anyway?"

Quinn tightened her grip on Rachel's hand. She didn't understand all the words, but the context was clear enough that she understood their meaning. 'Aunt Machla' didn't care one bit for Finn and was now asking why Rachel and he weren't together any more. It was a sore area for her Rae no matter how you looked at it.

"H-He ah, he died Aunt Mach. A few years ago." Quinn pulled Rachel to her when she heard her voice crack. Six years still wouldn't dim the pain of that, for all of them, but especially for Rachel. He had been her first love, her first everything. Quinn couldn't help but be envious of that, but he had been a part of what made Rachel was she was today and she'd never begrudge the man that. Instead, she tried to calm the woman in her arms, slowly rubbing circles on her back to keep her from crying. She kissed the top of Rachel's head as the woman buried her nose into her neck.

"Oh Shiksa, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Luzzem Mama! What are you doing to my little cousin!"

"I'm fine Joel, I promise." Rachel sighed as she wiped the corner of her eyes, even though she still leaned heavily against Quinn's side.

The issue was soon forgotten as the girls were swept into the chaos of the Levi/Berry family, with more and more family members showing up throughout the day. The kitchen seemed to be the gathering place with everyone cooking and talking over each other. Quinn breathed a little easier when Machla and Rina finally let her go. The two women were powerhouses. She'd found out that Machla was the head of the family after Hiram's mother passed away a few years before. Rina, the wife of one of Rachel's uncle's, had taken her under her wing and was showing her how to make traditional latke and sufganiyot, while Aunt Machla taught her how to make a cauliflower leek kugel that she was told was one of Rachel's favorite dishes. The women would make the Spanish Inquiry look like a day in the park, and after three hours, she was utterly overwhelmed.

"My little Hiram tells me you're like his daughter and to treat you nice. So I'll treat you like his daughter and tell you to go get me some walnuts." Quinn laughed as she was shooed towards the pantry, just happy for the excuse to get away for a moment. She wasn't about to tell the old woman she had no idea where the Berry's kept walnuts, and that other than this trip she'd only been inside their house less than a handful of times. Oh no, she was taking the excuse and running with it.

Her family was quiet. Their meals around the holidays were always catered in. She couldn't even remember baking cookies with her mother. So all of the family, husbands and wives, aunts and uncles, cousins of every age, all crowded into a few rooms, talking, cooking, and being downright nosey about each other's lives was all extremely new to her. It was nice, but she was glad for the moment alone. Quinn sighed and laid her forehead on the edge of the shelf in front of her, tensing when she heard the door open behind her.

"I am so, so, sorry." Rachel whispered as she hugged Quinn from behind.

Quinn laughed softly and turned in Rachel's arms. "It's fine, Rae. I just needed a breather."

Rachel laid her head on Quinn's collarbone, loving how they just seemed to fit together. "I was so caught up in spending time with you I completely forgot to warn you. I know they can all be a little overwhelming."

"In all honesty, your father did try to warm me. And now I can testify that you come by your large vocabulary and need to talk honestly. I seriously think there are some people out there that can out Berry, Berry."

Rachel leaned back and glared at the blonde playfully, before sighing. "How bad was it really?"

"Rae, really it's fine." She shook her head after she received another look and sighed. "Okay, it was kind of horrible, but they love you, Rae. And as someone else who also loves you, I can respect that. Anyway," Quinn grinned and buffed her nails on her shirt. "I think I received the Levi family seal of approval."

Rachel humphed and pushed herself away. "Highly unlikely. Daddy didn't even get that until he and Dad had been married for three years and I was born."

Quinn smiled and pulled Rachel back into her arms. "I'm being serious, Rachel. Apparently your dad called me his daughter, before even knowing we were together, and that led to a round of questioning that would make the CIA proud and give Sue Sylvester a run for her money. After I'd answered everything but the color of my underwear, I was informed by your Aunt Rina that I was expected at every family gathering from here on out. And Great Aunt Machla told me if I wasn't there, she'd send her boys out after me. Granted that came on the heels of being threatened within an inch of my life but…"

"Holy shit. You received the Levi family seal of approval." The rare curse word and absolutely flabbergasted look on Rachel's face made it all worth it as Quinn threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, no. You don't understand. Quinn, that never happens on a first meeting. Never. And this means that they're soon going to start demanding a wedding and little Jewish babies. Quinn, we just started dating. Hell, we haven't even started dating. You're meeting my family and we haven't even went on a date–"

Rachel melted into Quinn as the woman thoroughly ravished her mouth, all her fears and worries and everything faded away as she clung to strong shoulders. She groaned as Quinn slowly walked them backwards, pinning Rachel between her body and the door behind them, her hands on either side of Rachel's face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rae. They're not going to scare me away." She whispered against the smaller woman's lips. "We'll get to all that eventually, right now, right now I just want to kiss you." Rachel nodded as she pressed herself up as much as she could, capturing Quinn's lips between her own.

Quinn thanked Sue and her years of cheer training as she spun quickly, landing between the floor and the small diva now sprawled out on top of her. Aunt Rina held the pantry door handle, looking down at them in shock. Quinn slowly moved her eyes around the suddenly quiet kitchen as each of the occupants looked down at them in surprise. Rachel slowly moved her hand from under Quinn's shirt knowing that there was no way the move had gone unnoticed and blushed to her roots.

"Vey is mir!" Aunt Machla burst out, holding her hands over her stomach as she laughed loudly. Soon everyone in the room but the two women sprawled out on the floor was laughing, taking in the very mused appearance of the diva and her blonde girlfriend.

Not only had they been caught making out in the pantry, they'd fallen out of said pantry when the door had been opened. Rachel swore after years of being slushied she was used to being humiliated, but each of those moment combined had nothing on the awkwardness of having to pick herself and her girlfriend off the floor in full view of her entire family. Rachel shook her head and grumbled under her breath as she slowly stood up and reached down to help Quinn off the floor.

"Thank you for breaking my fall."

Quinn ran her hand through her hair and smiled nervously, still eyeing the giggling group that had turned back to their cooking. "Uh, yeah, sure. No problem."

"Rachel! My dearest grand-niece. What is this? Instead of spending time with your family, you're canoodling you're your haymish. Aye!" The two women danced out of the way as the old woman whipped a towel in their direction. "Get, get out of my kitchen the two of you! Your schpilkes is even making the babe mashugina!" Quinn jumped as the old woman glared in their direction, but she could see the light dancing in her eye and nodded, dragging a sputtering Rachel from the room.

"Well, that was utterly mortifying." Rachel sighed as she threw herself back onto her bed.

"I think you broke my tailbone."

"You only have yourself to blame. If you hadn't accosted me in the pantry, none of that would have happened."

Quinn grinned as she crawled up Rachel's body and leaned down, letting her lips graze the diva's ear. "And whose hand was up my shirt?" She felt the shiver that ran down Rachel's spine and felt every nerve in her body spring to life. It might have been mortifying, but it had only momentarily dampened the spark between them.

Rachel groaned and pulled Quinn against her as she felt the woman's lips graze over her ear, down her neck. A warm tongue pressed against her pulse point made her suddenly hyper aware of the woman on top of her, their bodies pressed together from sternum to thigh. She ran her hands through silky soft blonde strands, holding Quinn in place as she nibbled and sucked her way along her shoulders and neck, slowly making her way up Rachel's neck. Each nip sent shots of electricity shooting down Rachel's body; her breast ached in response, and she could feel every beat of her heart throughout her body. As Quinn's fingers begin to wander farther under her shirt, Rachel groaned, her hips canting forward as her legs spread, welcoming Quinn's weight between them. Both women froze for a moment at the feeling.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" Rachel whispered as Quinn kissed the corner of her mouth.

Quinn held herself up on one arm as she let her hand wander over Rachel's clothed torso, staring down at the flush woman before her, her fingers trailing over the soft bit of flesh that covered Rachel's stomach, itching to move in either direction.

"Do you have any idea how bad I want to touch you right now?" Quinn asked in reply, fighting her body's urge to rock her hips down.

Rachel felt Quinn's breast push against her own with every heavy breath they both took. She could feel her rock hard nipples pressing into her and she knew Quinn could feel the heat pouring from her center. Flickering flames of desire shot through her as she felt the soft pads of Quinn's fingertips dancing along her hipbone and side.

"I swear to all that is holy, if you don't stop touching me like that." Rachel had never heard her own voice sound so husky. It was like every point they connected was begging for more and her entire body was trembling with need.

Quinn moaned as Rachel's thighs wrapped around her and the diva flipped their positions, her hands swiftly sliding under Quinn's shirt, throwing the offending item across the room. Quinn's hands shot to Rachel's hips, whimpering as Rachel ground her body down. Liquid desire flooded through her, pooling between her legs.

"Rae? Fuck, Rachel."

Quinn groaned as the woman latched on to her neck, sucking and licking as she rocked against Quinn's stomach, her hands moving dangerously closer to Quinn's breast. She wanted to arch up into the touch, beg Rachel to strip her naked and take her.

"Rachel, baby, y-you, oh god, babe, you have to stop." Quinn panted, as she ran her hands up and down Rachel's back, unable to stop the sounds crossing her lips as she received a small nip in response.

"Don't want to."

The grunted response was almost enough to break Quinn's fragile control, but as the sound of _Forever, Young _rent through the air, the woman on top of her finally pulled away. Quinn wasn't sure if she wanted to saint whoever was on the other end of the phone or damn them for their timing.

"Daddy? Aren't you just down stairs?" Quinn was amazed at how Rachel had went from a panting and drop dead sexy, to innocent and controlled in the matter of seconds, her eyes shooting to the door as she heard laughter on the other side. "Really daddy, that's highly uncalled for. And we are both adults. Next time, I'll be sure to get a hotel room." Quinn's eyebrows shot up as the woman still straddling her shook her head and listened to whatever her father was saying on the other end of the call. "Fine, give us ten minutes."

Rachel huffed as she threw her phone back on the table beside them and looked back down, hungrily. She could still feel Quinn's warm hands splayed out on her back beneath her shirt. Her eyes tracked over Quinn's glorious abs and perfectly formed breast. And skin. Oh so much skin. Her whole body was throbbing and she knew she'd completely ruined the panties she was wearing. She debated ignoring her father's jabs, ignoring her self-imposed rules, ignoring her family that filled the house a story below them and sighed heavily.

"Maybe Daddy's right." She watched Quinn look up her, puzzled, and leaned down to peck her on the lips. "He suggested that he and Dad might have to institute an open door policy. And he needs us to go grab some walnuts. Something about a certain blonde had been sent to find them, but found my hand up her shirt instead." Rachel rolled her eyes as she finally moved off the woman beneath her. They really should have gotten a hotel.

* * *

"So cuz, what's the scoop on the blonde?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at her cousin as he dropped himself on the floor next to her. Quinn had been corralled into helping set up the wide array of dishes that had been made that day and seemed happy to do so.

"Don't even think about it, Jacob." She glared over at the man who was only a year older than her, one of the twin sons of her Uncle Isaac and his wife Rita.

"Ah come on, we hazed you."

"That wasn't hazing; that was torture. Hazing stops after a certain point. You and Abe still torture me."

She groaned as she was thrown in a headlock and her hair was mused. "We can't help it if your so small!"

"Jacob Henry Levi. Let go of your cousin!" The man huffed and let go, though he left his arm draped over Rachel's shoulders.

"Thank you Aunt Rita." She tried to push her cousin's arm off her but it was like trying to move a herd of elephants. She finally gave up and threw her arms up. "What do you want?"

"Just to catch up with my favorite cousin."

Rachel let her shoulders slump. She knew she would probably end up regretting it, no telling what her cousin was up to, but the words meant a lot to her.

"Again," she said softer this time, "what do you want, Jacob?"

"Is it true that you and blondie were caught making out in the pantry?"

Rachel blushed and slapped at Jacob's stomach. "You're such a brat. And technically, no, we weren't caught." She blushed harder at the look he gave her. "We just, might have, possibly, fallen into the kitchen when someone opened the pantry door."

Quinn looked up at the sound of laughter and caught Rachel's eye, raising her eyebrow in question. Rachel looked like she was torn between killing the young man sitting next to her, or joining him in laughter. She smiled when Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head, letting her know everything was ok.

"You're good for her you know." Quinn turned to the woman next to her, completely forgetting which wife she was and which uncle she belonged to. There were just too many people to keep up with. The woman laughed softly. "I know. It's a little hard to cope with your first go round. I'm Sarah, Amos' wife."

"Rachel's grandparent's were all about Jewish names huh?" Quinn's hand shot to her mouth as she realized how bad that probably sounded. "I'm so sorry, that wasn't supposed to come out."

To her relief the woman in front of her just chuckled. "I like you. And yes they were, but look around you." The woman had a point. The time between lunch and supper had completely transformed the house –hand made pictures of dreidels and the Star of David covered the walls, strings of lights capped with dreidels we strung along open doorways and around windows. Blue and white snowflakes that were bigger than her head dangled from the ceiling. A huge menorah sat on one of the tables and a large blue and white flag hung behind it.

"So how long have you and Rachel been dating?" Sarah asked as she passed Quinn a stack of paper plates that was to be set out.

"Would you believe it if I told you officially it's been less than a week?"

"Yeah, no. No way. I've heard about you for years now." Quinn looked up at the tall redhead that had reached between her and Sarah to snag a piece of broccoli, earning him a hand smack from the older woman. She looked back at the couch where Rachel and a similar man sat, both talking animatedly with their hands.

"Abraham, you can wait just like everyone else." Quinn smiled as the man shrugged his shoulders and snatched the plates from Quinn's hands, turning to deposit them on the buffet table in the next room. "But he is right, she's talked about you for a while."

"I… honestly don't know if that's a good or a bad thing."

Sarah smiled slightly, "Oh, I remember you from when she was in high school. My brother-in-law would call me and ask me for advice. I think you're lucky that Aunt Machla is old and hasn't pieced it together yet. She'd probably have the boys skin your hide."

Quinn winced at the idea. Not that she didn't think she deserved it, and she told Rachel's aunt as much. She knew that she would never be able to erase that memory from most of their minds, and she was sure that if Rachel's Aunt Sarah knew, most of the family knew. She stopped berating herself internally when she felt a soft hand land on her arm.

"Hey, none of that. She's forgiven you, and if she can then the rest of us will as well." Quinn smiled up at the woman in thanks as she moved away to finish up the serving table.

"Are you okay?" She turned at the masculine voice next to her, surprised to see it was Rachel's dad. She liked both of Rachel's parents, but she'd always felt more comfortable with LeRoy. Even so, she didn't step away when Hiram wrapped his arm her and gave her a side hug. That was one thing she had quickly gotten used to. All of the Berry's were big on hugs. "You haven't run out of here screaming yet."

Quinn smiled at the man's attempt at humor. "No, it's… well it's different from every single family gathering I've ever been to, but it's nice."

"You seem to be getting along well. Aunt Machla was just gushing over you to my brothers. Be happy about that, she still doesn't like LeRoy."

"That's what Rachel was telling me, then proceeded to freak out about Jewish weddings, babies, and dates."

She was truly shocked when Hiram's hand shot up and covered her mouth. The wisp of a man leaned over and whispered, frightened, "Don't. Ever. Say those words. Where my aunt and sisters can hear you. You'll never get out alive."

She chuckled when he dropped his hand and stepped back, but it died in her throat with the look he gave her. "Seriously?"

"No, but the look on your face was priceless."

Quinn laughed and shoved the man away from her as he laughed loudly. "That is so not cool. First, I get told I may be splayed alive by one of your sister-in-laws, and then you tell me that. You people are horrible."

"Just trying to make you feel like you belong. You know even without your relationship with our Rachel, LeRoy and I have kind of gotten attached to you."

"Aww, don't get sentimental on me now old man. Just remember paybacks and all that." Quinn joked, knowing the man saw it as the defense mechanism it was and smiled when he just nodded his head and bumped shoulders with her.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait until Abe and Jake get a hold of you. Then you'll really be scared."

"Would you people stop threatening my girlfriend!" Rachel suddenly appeared in front of them, making them both jump a little as she stomped her foot. "I'd like us to last more and you all are determined to scare her off."

"Says the woman throwing the words wedding and babies around."

"That's not what I meant!" Rachel threw her hands up in the air and turned around, and walked out of the room.

"You better go after her." Quinn nodded and turned to follow the small woman out the back door. "And remind her we have to light the candles before sunset, so she needs to be quick about her tantrum." He yelled after her.

Quinn found Rachel with her arms wrapped around herself, sitting on her childhood swing set and sighed. Of course, neither of them had stopped to grab a coat before braving the western Ohio winter day and with the sun starting to go down, the temperature had already began to drop.

"Hey superstar, can I join you?"

"I figured Dad would be the one to chase after me."

Quinn shrugged as she sat down. "I figure you chased after me enough times in high school, I had to eventually pay you back. Plus, there's the titles of best friend and girlfriend that kinda says it's my job."

"You didn't have to, Quinn." Rachel sighed to herself. She wasn't even sure what caused the storm off. She just felt like everything was pressing in on her and she needed to get out. She felt bad for snapping at her dad and realized she might be a little bit mad about Quinn confiding that to her father –which in turn just made her feel even worse. She loved that fact that Quinn and her fathers not only got along, but actually seemed to truly care for one another. She knew that Quinn would have never in a million years told her own parents that Rachel had used those words, even if she explained that Rachel had been busy freaked out at the time. When she stopped acting like an ass, it actually warmed her to think that Quinn felt comfortable enough telling her dads that, no matter what the context.

"Yes, I did, Rae. Now, you want to tell me what's going on?"

Rachel shrugged and laid her head down on her girlfriend's shoulder. "It's just been a crazy few weeks and I guess it's just all hit me at once." She felt a little piece of her soul settle when Quinn wrapped her arms around her. "I mean, are we moving fast? It was only a few months ago I was living in New York and you were in LA and…" Rachel shrugged. "Everything seemed ok."

She didn't even know what she was trying to say or where she was going with the conversation so she let her words fall off and hang in the air above them.

"They _were_ ok. Everything _was_ fine. My life in LA was all right. I had a few friends, an amazing show, a great cast. You were doing well on Broadway, you had Kurt &amp; Blaine and S &amp; B. We talked on Skype and over the phone when our schedule permitted. Everything was acceptable."

Rachel felt her heart break, sure this was when Quinn was going to tell her that this was it for them, that she wanted to go back to that.

"It was fine, but it wasn't what either of us wanted. Can you honestly look back on the last few years and say you were happy? Because I can't. It _was _a satisfactory life, but why live with satisfactory when you can have exceptional? If you think this is going to fast, then ok, well take a step back. But please, please don't tell me you want to go back to that, because I don't think I could."

Rachel shot up and crawled into Quinn's lap, just needing to be closer, needing to reassure her. "You've made all these grand gestures and all these beautiful, eloquent speeches and for my rather large vocabulary, I don't have the words to describe what you mean to me or how you make me feel. Quinn, I don't want to us go back. You are my best friend, but you are so much more, and now that I've had a chance to experience that, I can't go back to seeing you as just that. Please trust me when I say I'm fully in this. If it were anyone else, it would be too much too soon and honestly, I did get overwhelmed. We've known each other for so long, and I swear it feels like I've always loved you. In some capacity, I think I always have. You fit Quinn, in every way, and that takes my breath away. You fit as my best friend, as my lover, as all that and more. You fit with me. You fit into my family. They love you Quinn, so much so that I'm having to fight off my cousins from pulling their usual family pranks. And god, the fact that they accept you, accept us, it shouldn't surprise me because of my dads, but I guess it did. It does."

"It's a bit overwhelming for me too, Rae. All of it, but especially your family. Even when they are making us both turn beat red, it's more acceptance than I've ever gotten before. I mean, you know my family history. Your entire family, most of who I just met today, have treated me better than my own parents did my entire life." Rachel buried herself deeper in Quinn's arms. "So please, please don't get mad at them for wanting to include me, or for teasing us, or playing pranks."

"I'll try. I just wish we had more time to live in our bubble before I had to share you."

"Speaking of bubbles, I think ours is about to be burst. Your daddy and Aunt Sarah keep peeking out the window and the sun is about to set."

"Oh!" Rachel popped up. "Shabbat! We have to hurry."

The two women were greeted with blankets, mugs of cocoa, and ushered into the family room where everyone stood waiting. Quinn was left speechless at the sound of the blended voices singing through the blessings. She'd heard it from the three Berry's for almost a week, but the addition of the rest of Hiram's family was stunningly beautiful as Hiram removed the _shamash_ from it's center resting place. The emotions she had kept at bay overflowed down her cheek as she was called forward to light the final candle of the night, never feeling more welcomed, loved, and accepted, never felt more like she belonged than she did in that moment.


	17. Dates and Birthdays

**Trigger Warning: This chapter addresses suicidal thoughts. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone. A friend. A parent. A teacher. Or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255. Or text "Start" to the to 741-741 to talk to a crisis counselor confidential via text message, 24 hours a day. If you feel unable to do any of those, PM me. I'm always willing to talk, always willing to listen.**

* * *

Rachel looked down at the blonde sprawled across her bed, she'd never seen Quinn look peaceful and it warmed her heart. "Quinn, sweetie, you need to wake up."

Rachel gently shook the woman's shoulder only to receive a grunt as Quinn rolled over. Rachel smiled and shook her head, pulling the woman into a sitting position before gently placing her arms into the coat she'd brought up with her. Years of being friends with the gregarious blonde had taught her that Quinn was anything but a morning person. over the years she had watched Quinn move on autopilot through all of her morning rituals barely alive, much less awake, to know that Quinn could move while still being mostly asleep. It was with this knowledge that she hoped she'd be able to get Quinn bundled up and out to her car and back to sleep within minutes, the blonde never knowing better.

She gently prodded Quinn until the woman helped slide her feet into her winter boots which Rachel quickly laced up. "That's it, sweetie." Rachel pulled Quinn off the bed and kissed the tip of her nose as she pushed a hat onto her head before she began to lead her down the stairs, holding much of Quinn's weight as they moved. Rachel tucked her into the seat of her already running car, wrapping her in a blanket, a pillow placed between her head and the window. Before Rachel had even lowered herself into the driver's seat Quinn's soft snores filled the car, filling the silence as Rachel backed down the driveway into the cold, dark morning.

The quiet seemed to surround them and it brought back the nervousness she felt about what she had planned for today. Rachel nibbled on her lower lip as she eyes left the road for a moment to look at the woman sleeping next to her. One glance was all it took for her to forget her worries. She'd never saw something more adorable. Quinn had curled herself into a ball on the seat, the only thing holding her upright was the seat belt secured around her shoulder and waist. Soft, blonde wisp of hair stuck in every direction from under the hat that was now sitting crooked on top of her head, her nose buried in the pillow that Rachel knew smelled like her own shampoo.

Rachel left the car run as she sat and watched the woman sleep for a few minutes after they arrived at their destination. She needed the few moments to collect herself before she quietly unbuckled her seat belt and lent over, softly running her fingers over Quinn's cheek. "Quinn, love, you need to wake up."

She snorted quietly when the blonde left the pillow and leaned heavily on Rachel, hugging the brunette's arm to her chest. Rachel shook her head and softly kissed the woman in her arms. She continued to press soft kisses against even softer lips until she felt the lips beneath her own begin to respond. Rachel sighed softly as she felt strong fingers slide against her scalp, holding her in place. Long moments passed before the two women finally parted.

"Mmmm," Quinn smacked her lips together, "as much as I love being woke up like that, why in the world are you waking me up at," Quinn paused to look at the dash, "7:35 in the morning?" Quinn let go of Rachel and sat up a bit further, looking around the car and the grey sky beyond it's windows, blinking away the sleep in her eyes as she tried to comprehend where they were. "And why are we in the car? Or better yet, how did we get in the car?"

"I thought this was the easiest way to get you to join me."

"By kidnapping me from my nice warm bed?" Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"Technically, it was my bed, and you came along willingly."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Of course Rachel would… Her sigh morphed into a yawn. "Rae, would you just," she yawned again, "tell me what we are doing…" She looked around, unable to tell where they were with the small amount of light coming from the barely lightening sky beyond the window. "…wherever we are right now."

She watched Rachel bite her lip nervously and couldn't help but lean forward to capture those lips with her own. She pulled back with a small smile to let Rachel know she wasn't mad, just curious.

"I have this tradition. I just… I've never had anyone I wanted to share it with before. You know, it's fitting that you are the only one I want to share this with. The song always kind of reminded me of you, I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was your religion, or just you. You were kind of a shadow, something I couldn't quite see yet was always drawn to. I don't know." Rachel's words didn't make any sense to Quinn, so she decided to wait silently, sure that if she waited long enough she'd finally get her answer. She knew from years of experience that it didn't matter if the sun hadn't even rose yet, Rachel would be able to carry on a conversation at length. Soon enough words filled the space between them.

"I was sixteen the first time I drove out here, because… well…" Rachel hesitated. "There is this hymn that we would sing at my Grandmother's church when we'd visit her and Grandpa. The lyrics, of course, are supposed to be about being closer to God, but I always felt they were meant for more than that. The first verse to the song goes: _I watch the sunrise lighting the sky, casting its shadows near. And on this morning bright though it be, I feel those shadows near me._" Quinn listened, surprised the soft words weren't sung, but spoken, but even more surprised by the tears that filled Rachel's eyes as she looked down into her lap. "I wasn't... I didn't have any plans that day, not really. It wasn't something I'd even given any true thought to until that morning. I don't know. I was feeling rather lonely that day and I just didn't see the point anymore. I still didn't have any real friends. Jesse had broke my heart a few months before. I don't remember if Finn and were even together at that point. Not that it would have mattered because it seemed he only wanted me when it was convenient for him. My mother had just told me she didn't want me. She wanted her second chance, but not with me. Don't get me wrong," Rachel said as her eyes darted over to Quinn before she looked away again, "I'm happy you gave it to her. I understood, I still understand. But it still hurt. It sort of broke me. More than anyone knew or cared to know." Rachel stared out into the dark as she collected her thoughts.

"I spent that summer and fall trying to make my life better. I poured myself into my relationship with Finn, and into Glee, tried to reach out and forge some sort of connection with someone, anyone. No matter what I did, how much I tried, or how much I smiled and pretended, everything seemed to be falling apart inside me." Rachel looked over at Quinn and saw her listening intently, more alert than she'd been moments before, and gave her a self-conscious shrug. "I know everyone thought I was strong and that none of it really bothered me, none of the words, the bullying, the criticism. I pretended to be strong, to be happy. I would put on a bright smile and it would get me through most days. I guess that's why I always tried to reach out to you, because I saw the mask you wore as well."

Quinn's heart broke a little at the look that filled Rachel's eyes, begging for her to agree, to say she wasn't the only one. To tell her she wasn't alone. And she wasn't, Quinn knew that, she had known that for a long time. She knew that Rachel saw her mask for what it was and for a long time, it scared her, because she truly thought that Rachel had the ability to see inside her soul. "I did. I wore the mask of HBIC, of perfect student, of... I didn't think anyone ever saw it." Quinn shook her head, she needed to be honest with Rachel. She wasn't sure what this morning was about, but she knew that Rachel needed her to be completely honest right this second. "No, that's not true. I knew you saw through it. It's part of the reason I gave you so much grief. I didn't want anyone to see the real me. You always did though, didn't you?" Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand. "What does this have to do with being out here though?"

"I'm getting to that." Rachel took a fortifying breath. "I got up that morning to do my usual routine, but I didn't. I just couldn't find the motivation. I just couldn't figure out why I kept trying. There was nothing that made living worth it to keep trying. I knew that day would be the same as it had been every year before. I'd wake up alone. I'd spend the morning in my room, quiet, and alone. I'd have breakfast or brunch with my father's. They'd go off to work and then I'd spend the rest of the day alone. It didn't matter if I had school or not, because no one ever paid attention to me unless I forced them to. I could stand in the crowded hallway at McKinley and still be lonely. Even dating Finn, I always felt alone.

_I watch the sunrise lighting the sky, casting its shadows near. _That morning I felt those shadows near me. I drove out here, seriously contemplating forgetting my dreams and just…" Quinn watched Rachel look out the windshield at the sky beyond the car, still sparkling with the few stars that refused to hide from the approaching sun. Rachel looked back to Quinn, unable to say the words, to show how weak she really was. She didn't have to. She didn't have to tell Quinn out loud that she had contemplated giving up, that the pain had grown so much that she thought it might be easier to end it all. She thought she'd find pity, or disgust at her weakness. Yet, looking at Quinn, she didn't feel weak. Hazel eyes were filled with such love and compassionate, she couldn't help but felt strong, and loved, and wanted. Something she would have given anything to feel almost a decade before.

"Oh, Rachel." Quinn let a tear roll down her cheek. She couldn't imagine her world without Rachel in it and didn't want to. They'd both carried their pain silently, never letting anyone see just how bad they hurt. Things could have ended up so differently.

"I ended up sitting on this overlook, not even sure of how I got here, right as the sun began to rise; and of all the songs I'd ever learned, of all the lyrics I knew, those words came in my head." They could still see the almost full moon against the steadily brightening sky as Rachel's soft voice filled the air around them.

"_I watch the sunrise lighting the sky,_

_Casting its shadows near._

_And on this morning bright though it be,_

_I feel those shadows near me._

_I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds,_

_Warming the earth below._

_And at the mid-day, life seems to say:_

_I feel your brightness near me._

_For you are always . . ._

_I watch the sunset fading away,_

_Lighting the clouds with sleep._

_And as the evening closes its eyes,_

_I feel your presence near me._

_For you are always . . ._

_I watch the moonlight guarding the night,_

_Waiting till morning comes._

_The air is silent, earth is at rest_

_Only your peace is near me._

_Yes, you are always..._

Every year since, I'd take a drive out here before dawn, and just greet the day." The silence surrounded them as they both sat quietly. Rachel pretended not to see Quinn wipe her eyes, and Quinn tried to wrap her head around the confession she'd just heard. A few minutes passed before Rachel turned back towards Quinn and gave her a small smile. "I just… thought… you'd want to share this birthday tradition with me."

Quinn gave Rachel a small smile and nodded. "So you come out here to remember?"

"To remember. To remind myself that there is always something worth living for. To see the dawn, to let the sun's breaking wipe my soul of all the pain and sadness that it's endured for the last 365 days."

Quinn nodded in understanding. "So you just come and sit out here in your car?"

"I usually get out, go stand at the edge of the hill, and watch the sunrise."

"So why are we still in here?" Quinn asked and smiled softly as Rachel shrugged.

"Thought it might be too early and too cold for you."

Quinn tilted her head towards her door. "Come on." She waiting until Rachel shut off the car and grabbed the blanket as she climbed out of the car. She threw the blanket over the hood of the car and climbed on.

"Quinn!" Rachel shrieked. "What are you doing to my car?!"

"I'm getting comfortable. Now get up here."

"Quinn, I insist you remove herself from the hood of my car this instant."

Quinn raised her eyebrow and glared at Rachel, surprised and a little happy to see the woman shrink a bit under her stare. "Rachel, get up here." She demanded holding her hand out to help her up. She smiled when Rachel huffed and placed her foot on the wheel, allowing Quinn to help pull her up safely.

"Just so you know, I do this under duress and if there is any damage, you are going to be held responsible."

"Duly noted."

Quinn sighed as Rachel settled into the spot between her legs and leaned back against her. Quinn pulled the blanket over her shoulders and around Rachel's front, the heat from the engine and their shared body heat warmed them as the sky changed from stars to sunlight. The two women watched as a small ray of light spilled over the edge of the earth, painting the sky a beautiful ombre of orange, pink, and red. They held each other, sitting in silence as the sun rose higher, emerging from beneath the horizon and the shadows began their eternal dance, hiding behind the trees, shifting and lengthening with each passing moment. Quinn watched their breath freeze in the cold air before them, reflecting the pinks of the sky. All around them the earth was frozen and it truly seemed as though they were the only two who existed in the frozen paradise, mysterious and beautiful, they found themselves in that morning.

"Thank you for sharing your tradition with me." Quinn whispered into her ear as they watched the sun rise. "Happy Birthday, Rachel."

* * *

"I must warn you," Rachel paused at the door to the diner a few hours later. They had spent more time than they should have in the cold watching the sun come up. By the time that it was mid-sky, they were both half frozen and only had time for a quick shower before they were supposed to meet Rachel's fathers for brunch. "I have another birthday tradition, one that might surprise you, and I must beg for you not to think any less of me for it."

Rachel watched Quinn frown slightly before a smile stole across her face. "Rae, you should know by now, nothing could make me think any less of you."

Rachel rolled her eyes. She knew there were probably a few things that would, but she was willing to let Quinn live with that belief. If a person like Quinn Fabray could think she was infallible, who was she to argue. "Yes, well, in any case, I still feel that before we enter I must inform you of this unfortunate… ritual… that I partake in every year."

Quinn looked through the door to the diner, just wanting to get inside where it was warm, with the promise of coffee. Lots of hot, tasty, coffee. She looked back at Rachel and grabbed her hand. "Rachel, for the love of everything Barbra, just tell me."

"Right. I eat…" Rachel's voice dropped to a whisper, "animal products."

Quinn snorted and chuckled. "Seriously?"

"What? That's a big thing!"

"It's huge!" Quinn laughed loudly.

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. "You don't have to patronize me."

Quinn let her laughter fade to a warm smile and leaned forward and kissed the tip of Rachel's nose. "I love you. You are so adorable."

"I… uh… I love you too." Rachel said, obviously flustered as she stepped back.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow as she watched Rachel look around before opening the door and walking in. "Okay? What was that about?"

"It's nothing. Just, we have to be careful. You never know where Jacob will be hiding."

"What about JewFro?" Quinn waved at Hiram from across the diner and signaled him to give them a moment.

"You know how he is. We really haven't talked about this." She quietly motioned between the two of them. "About how out we want to be."

Quinn turned fully towards Rachel and looked at her, incredulously. "Are we really talking about this now?"

"Well, no, not now, but we do need to talk about it. And soon."

"I just thought…"

"We have to think about what it would mean for our careers. I went on record after Steel saying it was just for the show and that we are nothing more than good friends. There are still a lot of things to discuss."

"Are you saying that you want to keep us hidden?" Quinn choked back her anger and disgust at the mere thought. She knew it was only a few days ago she was worrying about her contacting her own agent over the subject, but that was more of a courtesy call than anything.

"I… no?"

"You don't sound so sure of that." Quinn said as neutrally as possible.

"It's just… well this is rather new. In more ways than one. I've never done this," she pointed between the two of them, "with another woman before. I've always been type cast as a heterosexual woman. That might change. I need to talk to Tina and Guy, my PR agent."

Quinn ground her back teeth and swallowed roughly around the lump in her throat. She took a few cleansing breaths and willed her anger away. Today, right now, was not the time to be thinking about this, much less talking about it. Rachel had a lot more at stake with coming out than she did, but the thought of not professing their love to the world made her feel dirty. She shook the thought off and nodded.

"Fuckin' Hollywood." She muttered under her breath as she pasted on a smile. She knew for a fact that Rachel could see through it but she was determined to try. "Your dads are waiting." She said, waving Rachel in front of her.

Rachel eyed her warily before heading to meet her fathers. It was going to be a long day.

"My baby girl! All grown up!" Hiram launched himself from the table, pulling Rachel into his arms as LeRoy shook his head and stood; he kissed Quinn's forehead and wished her a good morning as his spouse gushed over their daughter.

"Hiram, let the girl go." He smiled as Hiram finally let go and switched spots with the man. "Happy Birthday, sweetie. Have you had a good morning?"

"Quinn, dear." Hiram pulled the woman into his arms before finally letting everyone sit down. "What are your plans for today?"

"Today is our first official date." Three sets of eyes landed on Rachel.

"No. No way. Today is your birthday."

"Yes, and if I recall, someone said, and I quote: What the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets."

"Ouch." LeRoy laughed. "You should know better than to make a blanket statement like that, Quinn."

Quinn shook her head. "You'd think. Really though Rae, we can still do whatever you want, but today?"

"Yes, today. It started when the sun came up. We're doing brunch with dad and daddy. Then there is ice skating, hot cocoa and apple pie as a late snack, then a nice dinner out."

Quinn looked over at Rachel's dads who just shrugged in response. She was completely on her own on this one. She sighed and shook her head as Rachel looked over at her completely pleased with herself and her plans.

"I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"I wouldn't count on it." Hiram shook his head as Rachel continued to smile at Quinn, propping her head up on her hand as she did so.

"Fine. Not like I can say no to you."

"Well, you can, but it wouldn't end well." Rachel laughed and finally looked away. She wanted nothing more to lean over and kiss Quinn for accepting –even if she hadn't given her much choice. "Plus, you told me I got to tell you when and where, so I am."

"I need to stop telling you things like that."

"No, please continue. It seems to work out in my favor."

The foursome enjoyed their breakfast together, Quinn more so than the rest as she teased Rachel when she ordered two scrambled eggs and toast with real butter. They'd left the two men and taken off on their first date adventure. It wasn't a traditional first date, seeing as it started before Quinn had even woke up, but their relationship was far from traditional so it worked. They had realized quickly that they'd both been away from cold weather for too long when they both ended up shivering and hanging on to each other for warmth after an hour on the ice. They ended up walking around the mall, talking and buying last minute gifts, trading hot chocolate and apple pie for hot coffee and a shared scone. They'd been stopped more than once for pictures and autographs, but for the most part they'd been able to just enjoy each other's company.

"Really, Quinn?"

"Yes, really."

"You do remember how many times I've ran into you in a public bathroom?"

"I… just…" Quinn growled. "I need to go home, okay?"

"I just don't see why whatever you have to do can't wait until after our dinner date. We're going to be late for our reservation."

"I can't believe you found someone in Lima that even takes reservations." Quinn rolled her eyes at their back water town. "If you must know, I forgot your birthday present at home."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"Because I didn't want you to know?"

"Really, Quinn, you would have saved yourself an argument if you had just led with that."

"I didn't expect you to make a federal case over me using a public restroom."

"If you were going to come up with an excuse to return to dads' you were going to have to come up with something better than that. With all the conniving you did back in highschool I would have thought you would have come up with something more convincing than that."

"Sue me, I'm not at good at improv as you are."

"I beg to differ but I will let it go for now." Rachel waved Quinn off as she pulled up to the driveway, surprised her Dad's car wasn't in his normal spot. "Will you be long?"

"I'll be right back. Just give me five minutes?"

Rachel huffed. "Please, just hurry. You know I pride myself on being punctual."

Rachel watched as Quinn smiled and jumped out of the car, hurrying toward the house. The first night they'd arrived her dads had given Quinn a key and the codes to the security alarm. She was glad that they made Quinn feel so welcomed. Rachel sighed, she really needed to contact Tina. She knew the younger woman was supposed to be coming into town in the next few days, she might have to get her friend and agent to have lunch with her, before Christmas if possible.

She was glad that Quinn hadn't let their conversation at the diner put a damper on their day but she knew Quinn hadn't been happy. It wasn't that she wanted to hide Quinn, or their relationship, it was… well she had some over zealous fans. Rachel hadn't told Quinn but she'd had more than one potential stalker –other than Jacob Ben Israel. The ones that weren't as scary as the handful she'd dealt with where still very loud, and very opinionated, and they held her career in their hands. If they turned on her it would be hard to keep getting the choice rolls that she enjoyed. Rachel knew that putting her love life out for public consumption would mean facing the possible outcry from her fans. There had already been some heated debate after Steel. She had wisely not sent her agent the script until after the episode had been filmed. Tina and Guy weren't exactly pleased that she'd taken the role without their consent.

Rachel looked over at the clock on the dashboard and back at the dark house. She could see her bedroom light on but there didn't look to be any movement on the other side of the curtain. Rachel groaned. There was no way they were going to make their reservation now. How long did it take to grab a package? Rachel grabbed her phone and called Quinn, glaring at the object when it went straight to voicemail.

"Seriously?" Rachel growled as she shut off the car and stormed up the drive. "Quinn?"

"Back here." Rachel cocked her head to the side as she heard Quinn call to her from the kitchen.

Rachel jumped as the lights flew on as she stepped into the living room and yells of "SURPRISE!" Surrounded her. She looked around the room in shock. Her fathers and mother stood in the center of the room holding a banner. She picked out half a dozen or more of their Glee alumni, along with friends from New York, Broadway, and LA.

"I... what? What is this?"

Rachel smiled as three feet of blonde hair and smiles slammed into her. "It's your surprise party, silly!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Quinn shook her head at her daughter as she stepped beside Shelby. Rachel laughed through her tears as she hugged her sister to her side.

"Sh-Shelby?"

"What? You think I'd miss this? It's not every day that your first child turns 25!" Shelby hugged Rachel tightly before stepping back for Rachel's fathers.

Rachel smile widened as her dads wrapped her in a hug.

"Don't worry, we cancelled your reservations." LeRoy whispered into her ear before releasing her.

Rachel turned around and smiled at the crowd. "I can't believe you're all here!"

"Best believe it Smokin' Hot." Rachel laughed as April wrapped her in a hug.

Quinn watched as the birthday girl was passed from person to person, getting a birthday wish or hug from each person. Rachel was radiant with her joy and surprise.

"You did well. Love looks good on both of you."

Quinn looked over her shoulder at her child's mother. It was odd to think that she was also the mother to the woman she was in love with. "You really think so?"

"Whatever you two have together –it's good for her. I've never seen her so happy. Not even when she's on stage."

"She's right." Hiram agreed as he threw his arm over Quinn's shoulder. "You went through a lot of trouble to get everyone here and it looks like it's paid off well."

Rachel looked over her shoulder and beamed. "You did this?"

Quinn smiled and shrugged.

"Hell yes, she did this. She had me jumping through hoops all around New York like I'm someone's damn show dog. So you best show some appreciation, because I don't play bitch for just anyone."

"Santana. Thank you." Rachel stepped forward to hug the feisty Latina.

"Uh no. I still don't do tears. Or presents." Santana shoved a box into Rachel's hands. "This is from Britt. She said she was sorry she couldn't be here and that she sends her love, to tell you she hopes you're less lemony the next time she sees you, and to feed the ducks."

Rachel chuckled at the message that she was sure Brittany had Santana say word for word, though she had a feeling the "feed the ducks" part was supposed to be a job for Santana.

"Lemony?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "I don't have time to explain it to you. I need a drink."

Rachel turned towards Quinn who just shrugged. "It's S and B, there's no telling."

"I can't believe you did all this for me." Rachel stepped closer and draped her arms over Quinn's shoulders.

Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes and felt everyone else fade away. She slowly stepped closer until there was no space remaining between them. "Don't you know, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you?"

"I'm starting to get it." Rachel leaned her head closer.

"I'll just have to keep reminding you." Quinn brushed her lips against Rachel's gently. She let her lips quirk up at the feeling of Rachel's sigh against them and brought her lips back, letting the kiss grow longer and deeper.

"I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" The two women laughed as they were broken apart by a vivacious red head jumping around them with her arms crushing them both together. "I knew it! I knew it! You two are so cute!"

"You're nuts." Quinn laughed as she pushed her friend away. Her laugh faded as she looked passed April to see her fellow Glee Club-ers standing with their mouth agape. She chortled and elbowed Rachel. She took the woman's smaller hand into her own and watched the group stutter and gape.

Rachel leaned her head towards Quinn while keeping her eye on their friends. "I think we broke them."

"I think you're right." Quinn whispered back.

"Oh come! on! Seriously, are you all freakin' blind?" Everyone turned towards the doorway where Santana stood with a drink in her hand. "Those two have been makin' goo goo eyes at each other since senior year!"

"I… wow. No, I never saw it." Sam stuttered.

"So, so hot." Puck drooled.

"Finally!" Kurt muttered.

"So when did you two finally break down and do the nasty?" Santana asked as she leaned against the table, chuckling at the blush that crossed both women's faces.

"Santana! Not in front of my parents please."

"Or my daughter."

"Oh please, you two were so lost in each other you didn't even notice that mommy dearest and lil Q were dragged off by the dads ten minutes ago. So? Spill?"

"Inquiring minds want to know." April agreed, draping herself over Rachel's shoulder.

"Off." Quinn growled.

"Answer."

"No. It's none of your business."

"Of course it is. If it wasn't for yours truly you'd still be dancing around each other like a pair of horny parrots."

"Does Brittany have a parrot loving sister?" Mercedes asked Tina who just shrugged.

"April, as much as I appreciate your meddling, Quinn and I most definitely did not need your assistance nor did we ever act like concupiscent song birds." Rachel gently pushed April off of her. "If you must know..."

"We must." Santana and April said simultaneously.

"We've been committed to each other for two weeks and have decided to take things slowly."

"That didn't look slow." Kurt huffed. "I think I'm going to need to bleach my brain to get that image to disappear."

"What they're saying is they've been here for almost two weeks and don't want to soil daddy dearest image of their wholesome relationship." Santana snorted into her drink.

"Well I for one think it's amazing." Artie spoke up. "You two deserve to be happy."

"Seconded." Tina smiled.

"Well then, to the happy couple." Sam raised his glass and the Glee members and friends standing near enough to hear joined him. "To Quinn and Rachel."


	18. Emotions and Uncertainty

**School, life, kids, sick, frazzled. That's all I have. Oh and an apology for not updating sooner. This is a bit of a filler chapter but it has a TON of dialogue. Maybe too much. You be the judge.**

* * *

"Is it bad that all I really want to do is go home?" Rachel sighed as she leaned heavily into Quinn's side. It'd been a really, really long few weeks and she was just exhausted.

"We're going back to New York at the end of the week. We just have to get through today and tomorrow." Quinn hugged her brunette to her side.

Rachel sighed in contentment and nuzzled into Quinn's neck as they leaned against her fathers' kitchen island. "I meant L.A."

"You really think of that as home?"

Rachel heard the catch in Quinn's voice and knew that it was probably hard for her to hope such a thing was true. She rested her head on the slightly taller woman's collar bone to really think about the answer. Even without Quinn, she felt more alive and at home on the West Coast than she had in New York for a long time before her impromptu move.

"I do." She answered honestly. Rachel sighed softly as she felt Quinn's hands running gently up and down her back and could feel the slight tension in the body surrounding hers. She knew Quinn had questions, hell, she had a ton of them herself, but everything had been so crazy, so busy lately, neither of them had time to really think them out.

"Rae, I know that this, us, it's been a little crazy and things have been more than a little hectic since before Thanksgiving, but there is so much we haven't talked about that we probably should." She waited until she heard Rachel hum her agreement, apparently more than willing to let Quinn take the lead for this conversation. "I just… I guess I need to know…" Rachel tipped her head back and looked up at Quinn, lifting her eyebrow in question. "Why didn't you tell me about The Son? You were crushed when they shut it down. And the way you talked when we were with my mother was like… like you were never going back to Broadway."

Rachel closed her eyes and enjoyed Quinn's embrace for a moment longer before finally pushing herself back. She had hoped Quinn's panic attack had made her forget about her slip up during lunch with Judy, but apparently she hadn't forgot.

Quinn tried not to get irritated at the way Rachel pulled away from her, hoping and praying that it wasn't because she'd changed her mind.

"Rachel? I love that you think of our place as home, but Rachel, what about Broadway? New York?"

Rachel avoided Quinn's eyes as she turned towards the refrigerator and began pulling things out for breakfast. It was the same conversation she'd had with herself over the last six months. What about Broadway? What about her life in New York? Her friends, her apartment, her connections? She knew she was in love with Quinn, there was no denying that, but there was a lot she didn't know.

Quinn watched Rachel start to make breakfast and could see the woman deep in thought, and fought against her instinct to demand answers. She knew Rachel said she had some feelings for her since back in high school, but Quinn never expected to fall for Rachel. Heck, even being friends with her had thrown her for a loop for a long time. They had a long, complicated relationship, one that she had never even thought to imagine turning into something stronger and even more complicated. She knew the moment she started feeling more for Rachel that she ran the risk of getting her heart broke. No. It was more than that. Loving Rachel was something she wasn't sure if she could ever recover from if things didn't go well. For some reason, the small, brunette, dynamo had always had such a strong hold on her, and now that the woman held her heart in her hands, she had the ability to completely crush it. And that kind of vulnerability was something she'd never trusted anyone with before. And it scared the hell out of her. But she'd be vulnerable, she'd open her chest and let Rachel rip her heart from it, if that's what Rachel needed, because the thought of losing Rachel hurt too much. Even if it meant breaking her own hear in the process though, she refused to let Rachel give up on her dream, on something she'd worked her whole life for.

"These last few months seem like some sort of romantic comedy –one where the two protagonist live through a contrived plot, in an underdeveloped story line that puts them in almost constant contact with each other. Cue improbable reasoning for moving in together, be employed alongside each other, go on a road-trip together and the like. Our "differing personalities" must end up in constant rotation of each other so that we can impossibly fall in love with one another."

Quinn leaned her hip against the counter as she listened to Rachel's diatribe, trying to figure out where this was coming from or where she was going with this. "So you're saying we're some cliché rom-com couple? What does that have to do with New York? With you returning to Broadway?"

Rachel sighed heavily and turned towards the stove, heating the pan as she still avoided Quinn's eyes. She wasn't even sure what she meant. "I don't know. If you think about it, it fits."

"We're a silly couple straight from a romantic comedy. What's wrong with that? They get their happy endings most of the time. It fits us, fine, ok I can buy that. It doesn't fit why you're not answering my question though." Quinn couldn't help the edge from creeping into her voice.

Rachel dropped the spatula onto the stove top and turned with a huff. "Because I don't have any answers! God don't you understand that Quinn? How am I supposed to return to New York when it doesn't feel like home any more? We spent a week there and it felt like I was… I was lost because my home is with you! But you aren't real! This isn't real!

"What the hell do you mean this isn't real?" Quinn stepped back, letting the ice she felt enveloping her heart painfully seep into her voice.

"I just feel like I'm living some sort of fairy tale. This…" She pointed animatedly between the two of them, "this doesn't happen in real life. We don't work in real life."

"This is real life! And up until five minutes ago, I thought we were working out fine!" Quinn growled back.

"This isn't real life though. Real life is agents and press and being followed by photographers! Real life is fans who can make or break our careers! Real life is you're West Coast and I'm East Coast! That is real life. In real life I don't get to wake up in the arms of Quinn Fabray. I don't get to say I'm in love with Quinn Freakin' Fabray!"

"Well guess what, Berry, this is real life! So stop being such an antagonist and just deal with the fact that you may be in love with Quinn Fabray, but she's also in love with you! And I'll be damned if I let you push me away because we have some issues to work out!"

Neither woman knew when they had even began yelling, or even how it happened, but both of them were staring each other down, chest heaving, fire in their eyes. It reminded them both of their time in high school and the arguments they used to find themselves in. They always seemed to bring out the fire in one another.

Quinn couldn't stop the corners of her lips from curling up at the thought and before she knew it she had began to chuckle. Rachel smiled and shook her head and began to laugh as well.

"Damn you." She growled as she pulled Quinn the few inches separating them.

Quinn leaned her forehead against Rachel's and chuckled. "It was easier to take my anger at life out on you when I wasn't so madly in love with you."

"What are we going to do?" Rachel couldn't stop the tears from filling up her eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

"So don't." Quinn kissed Rachel's forehead and pulled her closer, loving how she fit perfectly into the crook of her neck. "We were always good at fighting each other. We just have to learn how to fight for each other instead. We'll start by shutting off the stove…" Quinn reached over Rachel's shoulder to move the pan and turn off the flame, thankful the oil hadn't burst into flames as they let go of the tension they'd both apparently been carrying around. "Then when we have more than five minutes alone to talk, we'll figure it out. It's not like we don't have the means to travel. It will suck, don't get me wrong, but we'll find a way to make this work."

"And it's not like I'm going back to New York anytime soon."

"Yes, you are. We're supposed to be back before New Year's. Or face Santana's wrath."

Rachel gave a watery chuckle. "I mean…"

"I know what you meant. And you're right. You have the Streisand movie auditions the second week of January. When you get that part, you'll be contractually obligated to stay on the West Coast."

"_If_ I get the part, it might not even be filmed in Hollywood."

"True, but that's just part of the careers we've chosen. There will be filming breaks, and we only have a few more months of filming for the season, so I could always come out and bother you on set."

"I would love that."

"So would I. See? We can do this. You just have to get out of that pretty little head of yours."

"I'm sorry, Quinn." Rachel kissed the woman's cheek and ran her thumb across it gently. "I guess it's my own insecurities. It's not fair to you but, well, being back here, and talking about New York, and the idea of not being together brings back some not so pleasant memories."

"I understand that, Rae, I just need you to talk to me about them."

Rachel nodded and went back to making their breakfast, knowing her dads would be down any time. "Who would have thought that you'd be the one, out of the two of us, that would be more willing to talk about these things?" Rachel laughed humorlessly. "I guess I'm still scared that you'll expect something of me, some version of me, that I can't be."

"What do you mean?"

Rachel sighed again and moved the pan back again. She took Quinn's hand and led her to the table, deciding it would be easier than trying to split her focus.

"Right now, I really don't know about Broadway. I'm not going to lie and say I'll never go back to New York, to Broadway, but I don't see my self returning any time in the immediate future. I'm exhausted, Quinn. It's a grueling schedule, where I have hardly any down time. And I know first hand just what that can do to a relationship. Finn Hudson wasn't the only one who couldn't deal with my dreams, but being here, back in Lima, and talking about New York with someone I'm in a relationship with, it brings back the insecurities he left me with."

"But Rachel, I would never dream of asking you to choose between me and Broadway. I hate even thinking about you giving up on it, even after all you've achieved. Yes, I think you could probably be happy on the big screen, but you were _born_ for the stage. I hope you know, that no matter what you do, I will always encouraged you to chase your dreams, just like I always have. Heck, when we were barely amicable, I was the one pushing you to not give up on them."

"I know you would never make me choose. It's kind of funny looking back, because even when we pretended to hate each other, you, more than anyone, always believed in me." Rachel couldn't help but smile. "Even when you didn't agree with my choices, and let me know quiet vocally that you didn't, you still supported me." Rachel's smiled faded as she recalled just what that support had cost Quinn.

"Don't." Rachel looked up at the soft, but forcefully spoken word. "Don't give me that look, I know _exactly_ where your brain just went, and just like I told you back then, it wasn't your fault."

"I was waiting on you, I didn't want to get married without you there."

"You just knew I'd probably have objected at the last moment."

"You would have had to beat us to it." Both women jumped at the sound of Hiram's voice behind them.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to eves drop. We were just in need of a caffeinated beverage." LeRoy shrugged as he moved across the kitchen and kissed both his girls on their heads as he made his way towards the coffee pot.

"Would you really have objected?" Rachel was fine finishing this part of the conversation in front of her fathers and really wanted to know.

Quinn sipped at the coffee LeRoy sat in front of her as she thought it over. "I don't know. I… well remember when I finally agreed to come to the wedding?"

"You'd just gotten your Cheerios uniform back. You looked amazing."

Quinn lifted her eyebrow at that and smiled, deciding to file that away for future reference. "I remember you singing that song at regionals and realizing that he seemed to make you so happy. As much as I thought you were throwing away your life, I…. I just wanted you happy."

"You know, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the two of you got together." Hiram interjected. When both women looked at him he lifted a shoulder.  
"Let me explain," they watched him set his mug down so he could use his hands to speak, as he often did, "First off, there was the whole grade-school, Karofsky-esque repressed bullying on Quinn's part. Tease and torture the person you like, and/or the person who is most comfortable with themselves." He quickly waved away the look of guilt that filled Quinn's eyes. "Over and done with, young lady."

"And yes, you later became best friends, and then, well, more. When Rachel was entertaining the completely ludicrous idea of marrying some boy while still in high school, the two of you were just barely beginning your friendship." He waited for everyone in the room to agree with his statements so far, ignoring his daughter's glare at the notion that her getting married so young was foolish. "So from what I understand, Quinn objected, then recanted because she just wanted Rachel happy. Unrequited love anyone? And Rachel, my dear, sweet Rachel, who was so in love with this young man that she refused to wait a moment to jump into a marriage with him, couldn't even allow herself to get married because her true love was not present." He looked at the three others and waited for a response, only getting dumbfounded looks in return. "Come on, anyone? Anyone?" He sighed when his husband just placed his hand on his arm, a silent signal for him to let it go.

"I think what my overly verbose spouse is trying to say is trying to get to is that while no one would wish what happened to you, Quinn, on anyone, we can appreciate that your accident may have been a blessing in disguise. It kept Rachel from getting married, possibly showing her just what you meant to her, and how she had been blinded by love to all the faults of Finn Hudson, may he rest in peace. It also brought you two closer together, what with Rachel blaming herself for the whole incident."

"Which wasn't her fault." Quinn quickly interrupted.

"Right, right. But do you see what I'm saying? It's not a huge stretch of the imagination is it?" LeRoy jumped back in.

Rachel shrugged, knowing her fathers' words had more than a kernel of truth to them. "A lot of that is stuff Quinn and I had already discussed."

"She told me she had a crush on me back then." Quinn admitted with a smile.

"And you?" Hiram prodded with a mischievous grin.

It was Quinn's turn to shrug. "Looking back, I guess I can see it. I was so, so completely blind to my sexuality back then though-" Quinn let the sentence trail off and gave a shrug.

"Religious upbringing and denial. I know how that feels. When I finally realized I was gay, it hit me like a ton of bricks. But when I thought back to my childhood I could recognize dozens of crushes I had on other boys, but was completely blind to."

"Looking back, it makes a lot of different things make a lot more sense then they did at the time." Quinn agreed.

"If you ever feel the need to talk about it, you know we're both here." Hiram opened his arms, happy when Quinn actually left her seat to give him the hug he had been hoping for.

"So, ladies, what are your plans for today?" Hiram asked, tucking his newly "adopted" daughter into his side.

"I am taking Rachel out to Breadsticks for a late lunch this afternoon."

Quinn nodded when squeaked out a "Really?"

"And then we're meeting up with some of our friends to go caroling before heading to my mom's house." Rachel beamed across the kitchen as Quinn filled her fathers in on the details. She didn't know about any of Quinn's plans for the day, not that she really had any of her own. Fran and the kids were coming in later that evening and Judy had invited them both over for dinner before they all headed out together for midnight Mass. She smiled as she realized this trip was turning into a series of first for both of them, in more than one way. They'd had their first kiss and their first date, but they'd also shared their first trip together, their first couple outing. They had celebrated their first holiday together as a couple, as well as Rachel's birthday. They'd met each other's families. Then of course, Quinn had gotten to experience her first Hanukkah and tonight Rachel was going to be experiencing her first Catholic church service. It had really had been a whirlwind few weeks. Rachel smiled. If this was what being with Quinn was like, she couldn't wait to see what the next few years had in store for them. 

* * *

By the time the two women made it to Quinn's childhood home later that night, they were both exhausted. They'd walked across half the town because Kurt and Mercedes couldn't agree on where to go caroling. They ended up going to a few of their old teachers' houses and a few classmates that they knew were still in the area. Somehow along the way Sugar spotted their group and decided to join. To their dismay, and their poor ears, they found her voice had not only not improved since high school, her voice had actually gotten worse. Some young high school punks decided it would be fun to pelt them with snowballs, which turned into a huge snowball war. It ended up being fun, with the Glee alumni kicking McKinley High butts, but they were all ready to call it a night by the time it was done. It was only their excitement at seeing Fran and the kids again that kept them going. Well, that and the massive amount of caffeine Rachel had supplied them with throughout the night.

The two women shook off their exhaustion as they were both pounced on by two beautiful blonde children the moment they walked in the door, surprised how much the two kid made the house even more welcoming. Quinn had been a frequent visitor over the last month, but she still found the change to the house, and to her mother a little off-putting. None of that seemed to matter though as her mini-me jumped on her legs and began regaling her with tales about her trip so far.

"Miz Wachel, Miz Wachel, you havta sing for Nana!" Rachel giggled as Pete grabbed her hand and tried to drag her into the kitchen where his grandma was putting the finishing touches on supper.

"Slow down, little man! Where's my hug?" Quinn snatched the boy up and spun him around as he giggled and squirmed in her arms.

"And Miss Lucille. How are you this evening?" Rachel asked as she knelt before the little girl that was so much like her little sister it was almost uncanny. The only difference she could see between Beth and Lucy was their eyes –Beth had her father's brown eyes, where Little Lucy had her mom's bright blue beamers.

"You're silly." The blue-eyed beauty laughed before throwing herself into Rachel's arms. "Mommy let me watch you in a movie."

"Technically, it wasn't a movie. It was a play that was filmed." Fran filled in, pushing herself off the door frame to greet the two women, now that her children had finally got done jumping on them.

"Which one?" Quinn asked as she hugged her sister.

"Wicked and Cinderella!" Lucy jumped up and down.

"I take it you liked them?"

Blonde curls bounced as she nodded enthusiastically. "I want to be an actress when I grow up, just like you and Aunt Quinn!"

The three women followed the bouncing blonde into the dining room and she raved on and on about Rachel's performance.

"Perfect timing!" Fran scooted the kids off to wash up for supper as Judy greeted her daughter and Rachel. "I hope you don't mind. We decided to eat a bit early."

Quinn leaned into the uncharacteristic hug from her mother. "No, that's fine. We would have come early to help if we'd known."

Judy waved her daughter off as she gave Rachel a hug as well. "It's fine. Fran and I had it under control."

"Well, everything smells absolutely delicious." Rachel said as she stepped back.

"Hopefully, it takes scrumptious as well. I decided to try my hand at a few vegetarian dishes once Quinn confirmed you'd both be here."

Quinn couldn't help the smile and warmth that filled her face and spread across her body. Her mother was really, truly trying and the fact that she was going out of her way to include Rachel held melt a bit more of the icy walls Quinn had constructed around her heart years before.

"Oh, Judy! Thank you. You really didn't have to do that."

"Nonsense. You're a guest here and we must take care of our guest." Quinn's heart fell a bit. Of course, her mother, the eternal hostess. It was all for appearance. Rachel saw the flash of pain in Quinn's eyes and wondered what caused it. She slipped her hand into Quinn's and got a small smile from her.

"Plus," Judy's voice brought both of their eyes back to her, "if Rachel is going to be around for a while, this will be just the first of many meals together."

It clicked for Rachel as she watched Quinn's watery smile as she nodded and looked down. They were saved by a very excited five year old who was still raving about musicals as they all were seated around the table. Fran was barely able to get her to quiet down long enough for her mother to bless their meal.

"So you want to be an actress?" Rachel asked as she enjoyed the nut roast Judy had made, surprised how amazing it really was.

"I already starred in my first play!"

"You did?" Quinn smiled at the beautiful little girl, unable to not join in her enthusiasm.

Fran chuckled. "I don't know if I would say starred. She _was_ Little Bo Peep in Babes in Toyland though."

All four women bit back their smiles as Lucy folded her arms over her chest and huffed. "I was the star of Mother Goose Land!"

"Sissy was purdy." Pete agreed from his seat.

Quinn ruffled the girl's hair. "I would have loved to see you in it. I'm sure you did amazing."

"I wanted you to come but mommy said you couldn't."

Quinn looked up at her sister, trying not to let her hurt show. Fran sighed and tried to figure out how to navigate this error. She may not know Quinn as well as she wanted, but she knew that look. It was the look that she tried to hide every time their parents would put her down for her weight, or her acne, or belittle her love of books. It was the look that said "Why am I not good enough?"

Fran held up her hand, "Now, hold on a second. I tried to call and let you know about it."

Quinn tried not to scoff, she wanted to believe her sister, but history was a hard thing to let go of. And their history was one of leaving each other behind and leaving each other out of one another's lives. The push and pull of emotions was something she wasn't prepared for, and Quinn couldn't help but wonder for a moment if a relationship with her family was going to be worth it. "I don't remember you mentioning it at all."

Fran sighed. "Quinn, please hear me out before you decide to be angry at me. I swear I wasn't tying to exclude you, for any reason. I called you the week after our visit because I hadn't thought to invite you or Rachel at the time. It wasn't until I was driving Luce to her dress rehearsal that I thought you both might like to attend, but when I called you were so excited about planning Rachel's surprise party that I didn't have the heart to tell you. I knew you would have tried to come, or felt horrible that you couldn't, because Rachel's birthday and the play fell on the same night."

Quinn looked down at her plate. She remembered the call. She'd even invited Fran to come to the party. She remembered how contrite her sister sounded when she told her that she couldn't because her and the kids had plans that evening.

"Oh."

"Quinn, I know, I know that I have a lot to make up for, but I hope you know that I would never purposely try to hurt you. Or leave you out."

"I… I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions."

"It's bound to happen." Judy smiled sadly at her daughter as she took her hand.

Fran threw her sister a smile to let her know it was okay. "If it makes you feel any better, I knew you'd want to see it. The school made a DVD and I bought you a copy."

"Mom, can we watch it with Aunt Quinn and Miss Berry after supper?"

"Do you want to go get it? It's in my bag next to the door." Before she was even done asking, Lucy was out of her seat and running towards the front of the house with her mom yelling at her to slow down.

After supper Fran and Judy insisted that they'd clean up if Rachel and Quinn could keep an eye on the kids as they watched the DVD of Lucy's school play. The two women cuddled up on the couch with Pete sitting on one side of them and Lucy on the other with just the lights off the Christmas tree filling the room.

Rachel smiled as she absentmindedly played with Pete's soft blonde hair, loving that he was comfortable enough with her that he just tucked himself between her curled legs and the edge of the couch, using her thigh as a pillow while hugging her calf. She honestly couldn't believe how quickly she'd fallen in love with the two kids surrounding them. She never really had a lot of experience with younger children, skirting babysitting jobs most girls filled during their adolescent in exchange for more time to attend dance and voice lessons. Pete was definitely the quieter of the two and she could see so much of Quinn in Lucy. She felt eyes on her as she tried to refocus on the screen and turned her head. Quinn's eyes seemed to dance in the lights reflecting from the tree.

"This is nice." Rachel whispered, not wanting to disturb the children quietly watching the play.

"It is."

"I'm sorry that you missed this the first time." Rachel tilted her head towards the screen.

Quinn thought about it. She knew she was being silly about it during supper, but it really did mean a lot to her that her sister brought a copy. It seemed things worked out like they were supposed to.

"I'm not." Quinn pressed her lips to the corner of Rachel's mouth and smiled as Rachel turned her head to join their lips. She sighed contently when Rachel leaned her head into the crook of her neck. She knew that she had a long way to go with her family, but this moment, here with the soft murmur of her sister and mother talking in the kitchen, with her niece and nephew settled quietly beside them, and the woman she'd fallen for tucked next to her, this moment was nothing short of perfection.

* * *

"Aww, look at them." No one stirred at the soft-spoken words.

"I'm grabbing my camera." Fran whispered to her mom as they took in the sight before them. Little Lucy was curled in a ball using her aunt as a pillow, her little brother in almost an identical position on the other side of Rachel. Rachel and Quinn where leaning against each other in the middle, Rachel's head nestled against shoulder with Quinn's cheek pressed against the crown of her head. All four were sound asleep. She couldn't remember a time when her sister looked so peaceful.

"Should we wake them?" Fran asked quietly after taking a few pictures.

"No, we have a few hours before we to go."

"How are you with this?" Fran nodded at the sleeping women.

Judy shook her head. "I struggled with it, I'm not going to lie. But look at her." Judy smiled as if that said it all. She nodded towards the kitchen and waited until her daughter had settled across from her with a cup of coffee.

Fran thanked her mom for the coffee before returning to the conversation. "I really thought you'd have more of an issue."

"She's been on _Steel_ for a while now, so I've had two years to prepare." Judy chuckled and shook her head. "Actually, I've had almost eighteen years to prepare. I've only started to actively work towards accepting it in the last two."

Fran thought that over before she realized it and nodded as she met her mother's eyes.

"Bailee Tines." They said in unison.

"She had the biggest crush on that girl." Judy laughed.

"God, she used to drive us nuts." Fran snickered. "It got to the point that Bailee didn't want to come over because Lucy would constantly stare at her. How did I not see that before?"

Their laughter faded as the reality set in. Judy looked into her coffee cup as if it held the answer.

"We see what we want to see." The two women sat quietly, each lost in her own thoughts. "Goodness knows, I didn't want to see it." Judy sighed and shook her head. "I didn't want to know that you were hurting, or that my Lucy might be gay, or that my husband carried on affairs through most of our marriage." Judy hesitated. "Or that I was a drunk."

"Mom."

"No. I know we've gotten closer since I've been sick, but until Quinn came home, I never realized how much of an apology I owed both of you." Judy watched her oldest daughter swallow hard and reached over to take her hand.

Fran stared at the hand that lay on top of her own on the table and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation. It was Christmas Eve, and she'd only had her mother back in her life for a few short years. And half of those she was fighting cancer. How do you tell your mom you couldn't stand her growing up? How do you say that to someone you love. But maybe, maybe it was time. Maybe she could finally try to rid herself of the pain she'd carried her whole life. Maybe she could finally get the answer to why?

"You know, I hated you for a long time." Judy started to speak but Fran asked her for a moment. "I… I think I, we, have needed to talk about this for a long time –so please, let me get this out."

* * *

Quinn felt something tickling her nose and tried to swat it away before realizing she couldn't move. She wrinkled her nose and started to drift back to sleep before she felt it again, this time accompanied by a small giggle. Quinn slowly opened her eyes and smiled at the two blue eyes inches from her face.

"Lucy Maria, what are you doing?" Quinn asked quietly.

"Watchin' you."

* * *

Judy sighed, knowing that no words could ever take back all the wrong and the hurt she'd caused her daughters. "You're right, Fran. That is something no twelve year old should ever have to have gone through."

"Do you have any idea what that was like for me? To have to help my mother to her bed because she was too drunk to get herself there? To have to make sure that there was a trash can next to your bed? To know that there were only certain hours of the day I could have friends over if I didn't want my mother to embarrass me by stumbling around and slurring her words? Or God forbid, be here when daddy got home, because he'd either be drunk or yelling, or worse, both."

* * *

"What are you supposed to be doing?" Quinn shook her head and smiled when the little girl who was sitting on her legs shrugged her shoulders. "Where is your mommy?"

"In the kitchen."

* * *

"Do you know how many times Quinn would crawl into my bed at night, scared from a bad dream, but even more terrified because she couldn't get mommy or daddy to wake up?"

"Does she know you're awake?"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders again. "I went to tell her but her and Nana were crying."

* * *

"I couldn't go to you when… things… happened to me. I couldn't tell you, because you or daddy would have said it was my fault. I had to suck it up, and deal with it, by myself."

"Oh, Francine."

"Don't. You don't get to do that now." Fran growled.

* * *

Quinn tried to sit up a little straighter at the innocent words before realizing her girlfriend was asleep on her shoulder. Her eyes shot from the little girl in front of her towards the hall that led to the dining room and kitchen and back. Quinn knew her niece was watching her to see how she would react to the new her mother and sister was crying. If she reacted, so would Lucy. Quinn knew if either woman was crying, it was because of something big, but she couldn't let her little niece know that. She pasted on a bright smile and leaned in close.

"Why don't you go find something to watch on Nana's fancy tv and I'll go tell them to wipe their noses and join us?" Quinn whispered as she tweaked the tiny nose almost touching her own.

* * *

"I get why Quinn was so hurt about Lucy's play. I was her protector. I was the one she ran to when she had a bad day, or when she got hurt, or when she was scared, and then I was gone. _I_ did that to her, Mom. I ran away. I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of you, or of Daddy." Fran watched the tears stream down her mother's face and hated it, but she was so tired of carrying all this around.

"I pushed you. Who does that? Who watches their child walk out the door and turn their back? Not once but twice. I pushed you away."

As soon as Lucy was across the room settle in front of a Disney movie Quinn wiggled from beneath her slumbering love and snuck into the kitchen. She stopped in doorway as she watched her sister cry into their mother's shoulder and it broke her. In the twelve years Quinn and Fran lived under the same roof, she could only recall one time where she saw her sister cry. Her sister was the strong one; she _was_ Quinn's protector. But who had protected Frannie? Who held her after her nightmares? Or made sure she was okay when she wasn't feeling well?

"I pushed you both away and I am so, so sorry." Judy pulled Fran into her arms, letting her daughter cry into her shoulder. She saw her youngest watching and gesture her over. As soon as Quinn was close enough she pulled the younger woman into the embrace as well. "I c-can't… I can't make it r-right. I can't s-say I'm sorry enough."

* * *

Rachel woke to a loud, yet almost on key, rendition of "Stories" being sung by a very cute blonde named Lucy and a very famous Disney Princess, Belle. She recognized the songs from one of her favorite animated Disney Christmas musicals _Beauty and The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas._ "That was very nice, Lucille."

Lucy jumped and spun around. "Don't tell mommy!"

"Why ever not? You have an amazing voice. With a little coaching, you would be terrific."

"Mommy told me I shouldn't sing so loud when people are sleeping!"

Rachel snickered as she sat up. Apparently Lucy's little brother was used to it because the little boy slept right through.

"Where is your mommy? And everyone else?"

Lucy huffed and threw herself down on the floor with her arms crossed. "Stupid Aunt Quinn was supposed to get them. And we were going to watch a movie!"

"Lucy?" Rachel was confused by the hostility, but even more by the tears she spied in the little girls eyes. "Lucy?" She asked again, this time opening her arms. The little girl glared at her for a moment before running into her arms.

"Why do adults have to be so stupid?"

"I don't think that's a nice way to talk about people."

"Well, it's true." Little Lucy sounded eerily like a bigger Lucy as she crossed her arms again.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"Mommy and Daddy kept fighting all the time, even though I'm not allowed to fight with my little brother. Then she would cry, just like Pete does when we fight."

"Did your daddy hurt your mommy?"

Lucy lifted an eyebrow and looked at Rachel like she was one of those 'stupid adults'. "No."

"Okay. Let's try this another way. Why are you mad at Aunt Quinn?"

Lucy opened her mouth and then closed it, eyeing the woman in front of her as she shifted uneasily. She was Aunt Quinn's friend, but she was nice. And she could sing. And Lucy wanted to sing. So maybe since they both liked to sing Rachel was okay to talk to.

"Cause Mommy and Nana didn't fight before she came."

"And you think Mommy and Nana are fighting?"

"I know they are."

"Do you know why they were fighting?"

"No."

Rachel looked around, trying to find any sign of the other three women without moving. She couldn't see or hear anything, and she didn't want to leave Lucy when the girl seemed so upset. Rachel shook her head and decided to figure out why exactly Lucy seemed to think Fran and Judy were fighting, and how it was her girlfriend's fault.

"Lucy, do you think you can tell me why you think they were fighting?"

"I just thought Mommy was sad. But then Mommy yelled at Nana. And they were both crying."

"So this is Aunt Quinn's fault?"

"Yes. And she's going to make them go away now."

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"Daddy and Mommy would fight, and then she would cry, and now Daddy's gone."

"Oh sweetie, that has…"

"That wasn't Daddy's fault. And Nana isn't going anywhere."

Rachel bit back a sigh of relief as she looked over her shoulder at three sets of red-rimmed eyes. While she couldn't quite grasp the small girl's logic, she'd definitely been accurate when she said that her mommy and nana were crying. And apparently so was her aunt. Fran scooped her daughter up and promised her some hot chocolate if she'd come and talk with her. Rachel nodded her head to Judy who excused herself to go get cleaned up.

"I fall asleep for an hour or two and wake up to an angry, hurt, little girl, and three crying women." Rachel sighed and shook her head as she looked away from Quinn's amused smirk. She slid her fingers through Pete's soft hair, finding it a habit that was hard to break. "If we ever have children, I demand they all be boys."

Quinn laughed and sat down next to Rachel, draping her arm over the woman's shoulder as Rachel continued to watch the sleeping child next to her.

"Is everything okay?" She asked when she finally lifted her eyes. She could see the tear tracks still painting Quinn's cheeks, but saw a peace in her eyes that made Rachel's heart skip a beat.

"No. But it will be." If her heart had skipped a beat before, the smile that Quinn gave her at that moment made it absolutely stop. "I love you Rachel Berry."

"And I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray."

* * *

**That ended up being way, way more emotional and a LOT longer than I originally planned. I need a little input. Due to the length of this chapter, I am thinking about to skipping Rachel and Quinn's Christmas celebration and head right on to NYC and New Years. _Unless_ you all really, really want to see their first Christmas together. Please let me know in the reviews or in a private message! And thank you to all the amazing people out there who have reviewed, followed, and favorite for sticking with me so far! If I haven't responded back to you yet, I'm sorry and I will try to get to all your reviews tomorrow! Have a great week everyone :)**


	19. Christmas and Connections

**Welcome to this very long, unedited chapter, that took me forever to write because my brain refused to work and then ended up pumping out 9,000 plus words at once. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Mmm." Quinn was slowly pulled from slumber by the feel of two lips brushing against her neck, soft kisses pressed against warm flesh; she stretched deliciously, loving the feel of the body on top of hers. "I could get used to being woke like this."

Rachel could hear the smile in the smoky voice that rumbled beneath her lips as she kissed her way up the soft elegant neck, her hand tracing lazy patterns across Quinn's stomach. "I've come to a decision." She whispered into Quinn's ear, smiling at the slight shiver it caused.

"O-oh? What's that?" Quinn's voice grew even huskier as she pulled Rachel even closer to her. Her eyes rolled back beneath her eyelids as she felt Rachel's warm mouth enclose her ear. Rachel's warm fingers had slid under her shirt and were tracing a lazy pattern over her hip, up her side, and down over her stomach. Quinn moaned and arched her back as Rachel dragged her teeth along her pulse point at the same moment the woman's knee slid between her own. Quinn turned her head and captured soft lips between her own, sliding her hand into Rachel's thick hair. Quinn pulled her lips away, panting, as the sound of squealing and laughter down the hall bought her back to reality. She groaned as she stopped the wandering hand on her stomach. Warm lips kissed down her jaw, leaving Quinn shaking in their wake.

"Rae, you have to stop." She rasped out, chuckling at the inarticulate growl she got in response. "Rachel, if I know my sister, she's going to send her kids in here any moment to get us up." Quinn smiled at the sigh she felt against her neck as Rachel huffed and dropped herself back onto Quinn's shoulder. Quinn shook her head and placed a kiss on the crown of Rachel's head. "So what decision did you come to?"

Rachel smiled and rolled on top of Quinn and tucked her hands under her chin. "It's odd. This is the first Christmas in twenty-five years I haven't woken up in my fathers' house."

"We could have stayed there."

Rachel hummed in agreement and smiled. "So after much deliberation, and carefully laid out pro and cons list, I made the decision that upon our return to Los Angeles, I can no longer keep living where I am and will be moving."

Quinn's eyes shot open and she tried to sit up, only to be held down by the smirking woman above her. She felt her heart seize painfully in her chest, confused by the amusement that sparkled in her love's eyes.

"You –you're…" Quinn cleared her throat. "You're moving?" She knew her pain and confusion was glaringly obvious, but she didn't give a damn. Rachel nodded enthusiastically, as if it were the best idea in the world, and it hurt. Quinn's chest clenched painfully and her eyes began to burn as she fought her tears back. Rachel had considered moving and hadn't even discussed it with her, had even made list, damn it! It confused her, even more so when Rachel smiled as she trailed one hand over Quinn's collarbone seductively. Rachel looked up, staring hotly into Quinn's eyes, before nervously returning her gaze to the invisible line her fingers traveled. Quinn saw the shift, but still couldn't understand what her little diva was up to.

"Well, I was thinking, if you were okay with it," her eyes flashed up at Quinn for a moment, "I could move in with you."

Quinn breathed a small sigh of relief as she stared at the woman above her, incredulously. "Rachel, did you hit your head while we were sleeping?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Rachel nodded. "I'm quite certain."

"Then would you please tell me how you seem to have forgotten that we have lived in the same house for the last seven months?" Rachel's huge smile threw her and Quinn was sure she must still be dreaming, especially when Rachel surged up to capture Quinn's lips.

Rachel felt the understandable hesitance in Quinn's kiss, but she was determined to get the kiss she wanted. She slowly let her lips linger, her nails scratching lightly up and down Quinn's neck. She continued until the body beneath hers finally began to relax and Quinn began to kiss her back.

"We've lived in the same house, Quinn, but we haven't truly lived together." Rachel whispered against Quinn's lips. "I want to live with you, Quinn." She leaned back enough to catch sparkling green eyes, seeing the awareness dawn in them. "I am in love with you and waking up in your arms, that's… that's one of the best feelings I've ever experienced and I don't want to lose it when we suddenly have our own separate rooms. I want to wake up every morning in your arms. I want to fall asleep beside you every night."

Rachel hesitated when the only answer she received was Quinn's patented stare in return. "I… well… I mean if that's okay with you?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and flipped them over, pinning the smaller woman to the bed. She leaned down and kissed the infuriating woman below her, hard and fast. "That wasn't nice." Quinn said as ran her hands up and down Rachel's sides, feeling her arousal slowly grow again. "Just to be sure, when you say move, you mean into my room?"

Rachel tried to gauge Quinn's thoughts on the subject but only Quinn bent her head, kissing her way from Rachel's soft shoulder to her pulse point, sucking softly as she slid her hand beneath the hem of Rachel's night shirt.

"Yes." Rachel hissed out, both in response to the question, and to the fingers that raked up her thigh.

Quinn's hand slid higher, as Rachel's thighs spread, allowing Quinn to settled between her hips. Rachel groaned as Quinn pulled until Rachel's leg was draped over her own hip. She could feel the heat pressing against her own core as Rachel arched her neck as she rolled her hips. The two women found each other's mouths as they began to rock against each other. Rachel's small hands traveled up and down Quinn's back, stopping only to dig into her hair as she thrust herself against Quinn, breaking away from her lips to catch her breath. Both women shuttered as Quinn's thumb brushed against the underside of Rachel's breast and it stopped both of them in their tracks. Quinn dropped her forehead to Rachel's shoulder, panting. Every inch of her body throbbed with need. Her body ached with the frustration of unanswered desire.

"You are going to be the death of me."

Rachel turned her head slightly to the side, aligning her lips with the shell of Quinn's ear. "Se il vous plait," she panted, "laissez-moi être… la cause… de la petite mort."

Quinn's body trembled as she moaned into Rachel's neck, her hips suddenly canting forward. The breath rushed from Rachel's lungs as Quinn dropped her full weight down.

"Did you just…" Rachel almost moaned as Quinn buried her face into Rachel's neck and nodded. "Oh god."

"You. French. Couldn't help it." Quinn groaned in embarrassment. She growled again as she heard little feet running down the hall. "Damn, damn, damn." She tried to catch her breath. This just wasn't her morning.

"Should we move?" Rachel asked as she slid her leg down until it was flush with the bed. She ran a soothing hand up and down Quinn's back.

Quinn lifted herself to and gave Rachel a lopsided grin, fully aware that her cheeks were still flush with embarrassment and arousal. "Nope. My sister wants to be evil and send her minions up," she smiled as the door flew open, "she gets to answer their questions of why Aunt Quinn is laying all sweaty on top of her girlfrie-" Quinn's sentence was cut off by the umph that flew from her mouth as two tiny body dove on them from the doorway.

"Auntie Quinn! Rachel! It's time to Get! Up!" Lucy pulled at both women's arms, making them laugh instead.

"Bweakfast and pwesents! Is Cwis-mas!" Pete agreed, bouncing his small body on Quinn's back.

Quinn leaned up on her elbows to keep the added weight off the beauty beneath her. She knew her cheeks were still pink but was glad two little bouncing kidlets wouldn't let her dwell in her embarrassment.

"I am thinking they're trying to tell us something." Quinn grinned. "In fact, I'm almost sure of it."

"We are telling you something, silly!" Lucy sighed.

"Pwe-sents! Pwesents! Pwesents! Pwesents!" Pete chanted, getting louder and louder with each word.

"You know, Quinn, I think they might be trying to tell you they want to open their Christmas presents."

"Really? You think?" She looked over her shoulder at the bouncing boy and the little girl would rolled her eyes at her silly aunt. Five going on fifteen it seemed.

Quinn looked from one child to the next and back to Rachel. "Nope, I don't think that's it."

"Aunt Quinn!"

Rachel smiled at the mischief that filled her love's eyes and decided to play along. "Maybe you're right." She smiled at the huffed out "Rachel!" but never broke her gaze with their aunt. "What _do_ you think they're trying to tell us?"

"I think… I think they're telling us they want to be tickled!" Quinn used her years of Cheerio training to flip around and grab the two children, quickly pinning them both on the bed next to Rachel.

Fran walked into the room ten minutes later to the sound of squealing laughter, amused to see her little sister pinned to the bed with a small brunette woman straddling her waist, holding her thrashing hands while two tiny blondes attacked every inch of Quinn they could.

"Uncle! Uncle!"

"You not an uh-cle! You Aunt Qwen!" Pete giggled as he dug his tiny fingers into Quinn's side.

Fran's laugh caused the foursome on the bed to stop in their tracks. The hair on the back of her neck rose as she found herself pinned by four sets of eyes, even more so when the group looked back at each other and smiled. Fran squealed as all four launched themselves from the bed, Rachel carrying Pete, and Quinn football carrying Lucy. Heading straight towards her!

* * *

"You know, I'm going to look like the bad mommy."

"What?" Quinn paused her chopping and looked up at her sister who had just entered the kitchen.

"I can't compete with you. And on top of that, I'm going to be the one who has to tell them no." Fran growled as she sat down at the kitchen island opposite where her sister was standing. She glared at her sister when Quinn looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

"Look at the stuff you got them, Quinn. You shouldn't have spent that much on them."

Quinn rolled her eyes and went back to helping prep a pie that her mom would bring over when they joined them at the Berry house later for supper. "I've missed combined total of eight birthdays and Christmases so far. And I'm their aunt I'm supposed to spoil them rotten. It's not like I don't have the money to spare."

"Quinn! That's not the point. For one, how am I even supposed to get all this stuff home?"

"Oh. Well…" Quinn looked down at the apples she was slicing.

"Of course! You didn't think of that, did you?"

Quinn stopped what she was doing and looked over at where her sister slumped onto a stool. "Okay, spill."

"What are you talking about?"

"This isn't just about me getting the kids outlandish gifts, which, okay, were probably a little overboard. I'll try to do better next time. And will try to convince Rachel that she doesn't need to buy Lucy voice and dance lessons."

Fran chortled and shook her head. "Good luck with that. I think they both have their heart set on it."

Quinn watched Fran shift on her perch, avoiding eye contact. She counted to ten and tried to keep her calm. "So what's really the matter?"

Quinn stared at her sister and waited for an answer. When none came right away Quinn sighed and went back to preparing the pie. The minutes ticked by with Fran repeatedly huffing and fidgeting in her chair.

One move to the left.  
A sigh.  
A drum of her fingers on the counter.  
A shift to the right.  
A huff.  
A shake of her head.  
A lean to the right.

"Frannie! Will you please stop? You're driving me nuts." She glared at the her sister, relieved when she saw a familiar, sheepish smile sent her way as an apology. "Good, now will you please tell me what has you so agitated sometime before we're both old and grey. You being older and greyer."

Fran snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm being… it's just… well you're leaving in two days."

Quinn eyed her sister and smiled at the half whine. "Rachel!" She yelled passed her sister towards the living room. She held her finger up for her sister to give her a minute before yelling again.

"You know, not only is shouting likely to cause long term damage to your throat and vocal cords, but it also hurts your listeners' ears. You really should have taken my lessons on projection in high school. Then you would have had the ability to increase your volume without shouting."

"Little late now. And I was trying to get your attention without you having to come all the way in here."

Rachel smiled and shrugged. "Little late now." She quipped back. "What do you need?"

"Could you be a dear and grab the bag we got for Fran from under the tree?"

Rachel's eyes lit up. "I would be most delighted to!"

Fran looked from the retreating woman to her sister, the Fabray trademark eyebrow lifted in question.

"You'll understand in a moment." Quinn promised as she began layering the apples into her pie. Rachel returned moments later, obviously failing as she tried not to smile.

Fran watched the two women communicated silently and sighed at the mischief playing out in both their eyes. "Will you two stop? You're creeping me out."

"Side pocket, lower zipper." Quinn nodded her head towards Rachel as she added the top crust and wiped her hands.

Fran eyebrows came together as she took the gift her sister had given her that morning –a gorgeous Klaine exclusive.

"You seriously thought that bag was your present?" Quinn snorted. "Like I'd ever give anyone something I didn't pay for." Both women laughed at the suspicious look Fran gave the as she gingerly held the oversized purse. "We went to school with Kurt and Blaine." Quinn explained. "We get free swag from them on almost a daily basis. It's a win-win. They have talented, cover worthy people promoting their items, we get free apparel."

"Kurt and Blaine? As in Klaine, Inc.? You're kidding me, right?"

"Why would we joke about that?" Rachel asked, honestly confused.

"No, I mean, how the hell did so many talented people come out of one school? In Lima freakin' Ohio of all places?"

"It had to be the drugs." Quinn shrugged as she worked on finishing the pie.

Rachel nodded in agreement. "It was totally the drugs."

Fran looked at both women like they'd lost the last bit of their sanity. "What drugs?!"

"The drugs that the local pharmaceutical companies secretly tested on the unsuspecting population of this great city." Rachel stated definitively as she leaned against the counter behind her girlfriend.

Quinn shrugged. "How else do you explain an Emmy-winning TV star," she pointed to herself, "a star of stage and television with numerous awards," she pointed to Rachel, "two of the hottest choreographers to grace the East and West coast respectfully, a Grammy winning singer, and a Broadway star and fashion designer, all graduating from Lima, Ohio at roughly the same time."

"You forgot Puck."

"Oh, right. Also an officer in the United States Air Force."

"Okay, wait. Seriously?"

Quinn shrugged. "Those are just the ones we were friends with."

Rachel grabbed her phone from her pocket when Fran scoffed and pulled up a picture she would always keep with her. It was one of the best moments in her life–the New Directions' 2012 Nationals win. She stepped up to the counter and laid her phone between them, enlarging the photo so she could scroll through each face. Or at least the ones that mattered.

"These are two of my best friends in the world. That is Kurt Hummel and the boy holding his hand is Blaine Anderson. Together, they make up the fashion design team Klaine, Inc. Kurt draws up the designs in between Broadway shows, and Blaine makes them a reality." She explained. "There is me, of course. Two Tonys, a Grammy, and working on my Emmy as we speak. There is your gorgeous and talented sister. Santana Lopez, who had three number one hits and a Grammy nomination before deciding she rather boss people around. She now manages Mercedes. Which if you don't know who she is you've been living under a rock for the last few years. Santana is married to Brittany who choreographed almost all of our Glee productions, as well as three different Broadway productions, not to mention a litany of music videos, after acting as a back up dancer for a number of big name singers. Which brings me to Mike Chang, also a big name in dance. He currently owns one of the hottest dance studios in Seattle. This is one of my dear friends, and my manager, Tina Cohen-Chang. She represents a number of actors currently on and off-Broadway. Then there is Artie, who has directed a handful of indie films. And finally Noah Puckerman, the biological father of Beth, is a decorated Air Force officer. Oh, and Sugar… what is Sugar doing?"

"Do we care?" Quinn shrugged.

"Quinn! Sugar is sweet when she's not being full of herself."

"Fine, whatever. She's a producer or something. I didn't pay attention to her incessant rambling."

"Still, that's… wow. That's impressive."

Quinn caught Rachel's eye and smiled. "Drugs." They laughed together.

It was an inside joke that had begun with them when Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes had first started touring together. Now it was their private answer any time someone asked about their talented Glee alumni. Though Rachel had almost got herself into a heap of trouble with her manager when she'd accidentally blurted their inside joke, out loud, during an interview. Thankfully, Rachel was a seasoned actress who was able to circumnavigate the erroneously spoken words.

"Are you going to look in the pocket or are we going to pull out our McKinley High yearbook and point out every other famous or infamous alumni?"

"Right, sorry, I kind of lost track. I mean, it's one thing to know you are both famous, but to really realize…" Fran shook her head and reached into the bag, into a side pocket she hadn't thought to investigate when she first received her gift.

"I was wondering when you were going to mention those." Rachel whispered to Quinn.

"I needed it to be the right time. Now seemed appropriate." Quinn smiled as she watched her sister peal the envelope open.

"I… wh- Quinn?" Fran looked up at her sister with tears in her eyes.

"I know that we're practically on opposite sides of the country, but, well, I miss my sister. And we would really like it if you and the kids would come see us."

Fran looked from her sister to Rachel, who smiled and nodded enthusiastically, then back to the items in her hand. As she spread them out, her eyes grew even wider. "There are four sets of tickets here! For each one of us!"

Quinn lifted her shoulder. "They're open ended. And well, there is always your birthday if you use them all before then."

"You… you want me to come out to LA? I've never even been out of Ohio!"

Quinn wiped her hands and stepped around the counter, taking her sister's in her own. "I know we've promised to call, and Skype, and do all we can to stay in touch, but I really would like it if you would. Whenever you'd like. And maybe if you ever have a weekend without the kids, we can fly you out and have a girl's night on the town or something."

Fran nodded as tears filled her eyes and wrapped her sister in a hug. She opened her eyes when she heard the happy sigh behind her and waved Rachel over, pulling her into the hug as well. "Thank you. Both of you."

Fran pulled back and wiped her eyes. "You know, you'll have to promise to introduce me to some famous people when we visit. You two don't count any more."

"Oh? Why not?" Quinn asked, leaning into Rachel as she wrapped her arm around her waist.

"Because, you two are family."

* * *

Rachel was glad that this year was their "off" year. Every other year her dads would host the entire Berry family. As a whole, they were nice, polite, and had always accepted her dads' relationship; in fact that had been one of the reasons when they married that they chose to use her daddy's last name. Thankfully, the Berry's were a little more reserved than the Levi side of the family, but they were very intimidating in other ways. For as long as she could remember, Rachel had felt like an outcast around her extended family, even feeling more at home with her high school classmates when she was still very much a social pariah, than she did in a room with her family for only a few hours. She felt like she was never understood or fully accepted by her extended family. Even with all her awards and trophies for singing and dancing, they never seemed measure up to her aunts', uncles', and cousins' professional, athletic, and social accomplishments. She had always been talented, but her talents were just not the ones that her daddy's family recognized as important. She just didn't feel as though his family understood, appreciated, or accepted her.

Thankfully, her grandparent's never made her feel that way. Her grandparents always treated her wonderfully, encouraging her and telling her often how proud they were of her success. "Zee Zee! Boppa!" Rachel ran into her grandparents' arms, pleased to be wrapped in a hug. She was at least grateful they had always treated her well. Rachel stepped back after answering questions on her wellbeing.

Rachel watched as her grandmother step forward and took both of Quinn's hands into her own. "And you must be Quinn."

Quinn smiled bashfully, "Hello, Mrs. Berry."

"Oh George, isn't she precious?" The woman looked over her shoulder at her husband, immediately getting a "Yes, dear" in response. "And such a beauty too. Isn't she just beautiful?"

Rachel smiled at the blush that filled her love's cheeks. "I… thank you, ma'am."

"Oh posh, none of that." The woman admonished as she pulled Quinn into a small hug. "You can call me Zee Zee or Ruth. Ma'am makes me feel old and I refuse to accept that I'm old. And my dear, before you get any ideas in that pretty head of yours, Mrs. Berry was my mother-in-law."

Quinn laughed. Rachel had warned her that the Berry's were a bit more reserved than the Levi's but she couldn't see it. Maybe the rest of the family was different, but she already found herself liking this woman. She reminded her a lot of Rachel, the same wide smile and twinkling eyes.

"Yes, ma'am… I mean Zee Zee."

Rachel's grandfather held out his hand. "And my wife would have my hide if I didn't tell you to call me George or Boppa."

"Of course." Quinn smiled and nodded as his hand completely wrapped around hers. "Though I do have to ask where Zee Zee and Boppa came from."

"That would be partially my fault, and partially that one's." Zee Zee smiled as she pointed at her granddaughter as they all settled into chairs around the living room. "I always called my own grandmother, Rachel's great-great-grandmother, Grammy. When I had LeRoy, William, and Sandra, my Grammy had just passed on, so mother adopted that name. When my own granddaughter came, I decided I wanted a special name as well, just like my mother and grandmother, so I chose Gramsy."

"You should have seen how upset she was when she found out Rachel couldn't say Gramsy." George laughed, earning himself a playful swat from his wife.

"When she first began to speak she couldn't say Gramsy to save her life. Instead, it came out Zee Zee, and that's the name that stuck."

"So sue me. I couldn't talk without a lisp when I was just learning to speak." Rachel scowled, though everyone could see her amusement at the conversation. Rachel rolled her eyes playfully and sighed, deciding to finish off the story herself. "My grandfather's name came about in the same way. Daddy has always called him Pops and I guess I thought it was a fitting name and tried calling him Poppa. Only, I couldn't say Poppa, so it came out Boppa."

"Don't let her lie to you." LeRoy laughed as he came into the living room, draping his arm over Rachel's shoulder. "For the first two years of her life, her grandfather was known as Ba-ba. It took her looking from her grandfather to her bottle to realize that she called them both the same name and took it upon herself to change his name."

"I dislike you all." Rachel huffed and crossed her arms.

"If this is a preview of the rest of the evening, I definitely do." Quinn laughed.

George sat down on the recliner and looked up at his son. "Speaking of, not that I don't enjoy these young people, but when am I going to see my great-grandchild?"

Rachel and LeRoy looked over to Quinn and hesitated. From the conversation LeRoy had with his daughter before she left for the Fabray house, he knew he wasn't the only one worried. Quinn hadn't seen her biological daughter in many years, and had already experienced a panic attack meeting her mother. Not only that, she had never been present to see the dynamic that had grown between Rachel's family and the Corcoran family over the last five or six years.

LeRoy turned back towards his parents and let out a small sigh and sank down next to Quinn. "Shelby and Beth will be here shortly before dinner." LeRoy confirmed, watching his first daughter scoot closer to the daughter of his heart.

George nodded and sat back. "Well, good. I miss my grandbaby."

"Gran… granddaughter?" Quinn croaked, her eyes jumping from one person to the next. Both of Rachel's grandparents looked confused while Rachel and LeRoy looked at her with concern.

"Quinn, sweetie," Rachel sighed and looked to her father for help.

LeRoy took Quinn's hands in his own, seeing her look at him a bit daze. This wasn't what she expected. Yes, in theory, she knew Shelby and Beth spent every Christmas evening with the Berry family for the last few years, but she never really gave it much thought to what that truly meant. LeRoy's sigh brought her eyes back to him.

"Quinn, you know that for the last few years, Shelby and Beth has joined us for the holidays, correct?" Quinn's dazed eyes found his and nodded. "And you realize she was quite young at the time?" Again he received a nod in response. "Shelby doesn't have any other family. She never married. She has no siblings and her parents disowned her and then passed away a few years later."

"Wh-what does this have to do with my dau-" Quinn cleared her throat, "with Beth?"

LeRoy looked up at his parents. "If you haven't put it together yet, Quinn is Beth's biological mother. I'm sure you've heard Beth speaking about her before."

Zee Zee's hand flew to her chest in understanding but it was her husband who responded. "Shelby mentioned it was an open adoption but until just now, I didn't realize that Quinn was…" He gestured towards them.

"I…" Quinn croaked, and cleared her throat. "I didn't realize you all would know her. Silly, I guess."

"So Quinn doesn't know?" She asked her son, knowing he would understand her half statement. LeRoy shook his head. "I guess then we should explain. Quinn, dear, I'm sorry we didn't find a better way to tell you, but I guess you can say that we all have, in a way, adopted Beth." Zee Zee said softly.

Rachel laid her hand on Quinn's arm. "I'm sorry I didn't think to warn you about that part. When Beth started coming here, she was so young, and it was too much trying to explain everything to a two and a half year old. As far as she's concerned, my fathers are her grandparents, as our my Zee Zee and Boppa."

Quinn nodded and tried to swallow around the lump in her throat. "Good. That's… that's good." She looked up and shrugged, giving Rachel a watery smile. "I'm glad to know she has so many people in her life that love her."

Zee Zee smiled. "We really do. You should know that, Quinn. I'm sorry we didn't…"

Quinn's smile grew and she waved off the older Berry woman. "There really isn't anything to apologize for. I was just… I was a little taken aback hearing Beth referred to as granddaughter." Quinn hesitated and looked at her hands still tucked between LeRoy's. "I… I am glad she's had you all in her life."

"A lot of that was Shelby's doing."

"She really is a great mom, isn't she?" Everyone could hear the question Quinn didn't ask: she really did do the right thing giving her daughter up, didn't she?

"Oh Quinn, Beth is one of the happiest, well rounded children I've yet to meet." Ruth gushed.

"We should have realized as soon as we saw you." George smiled. "She looks so much like you. She has Noah's nose, but the rest of her is your splitting image."

"Please forgive me if I'm being intrusive, and feel free not to answer, but may we inquire how long it's been since you've seen her?"

"She was almost five the last time I saw her face to face. We talk often. I just," Quinn took a shuddering breath and rolled her shoulders, shaking her hands out a bit. "God, I'm so nervous. seeing her like this, getting to spend the holidays together, it's a bit overwhelming. I can honestly say it's been a very long time since I was this nervous."

George chuckled. "You should have saw Shelby the first year she came over. _She_ was nervous. Worried about Beth, worried about how she'd behave, worried about Rachel's reaction to her being here, worried about her interactions with Rachel. I thought she was going to get sick at one point."

Ruth snorted. "If the sounds coming from the first floor bathroom were any indication, I'm pretty sure she did."

"I don't see why the poor girl was so worked up. Everything worked out fine. Shelby helped give us one beautiful granddaughter, why wouldn't we accept another from her?"

"People usually aren't accepting. It took me twenty-five years before my family even began to accept me. No one just opens their arms, their home, their lives to others, no questions asked."

The older couple looked at each other and shared a sad smile. "I don't know if I'd say no questions asked, but well, we figured there is enough hate in the world, and enough love in our hearts, why not share it?"

George nodded, agreeing with his wife. "We accepted Hiram as part of our son's life and now conceder him one of our own, just like LeRoy and Hiram have talked about you like one of their own for a while now." The man smiled as he watched his son tuck his arm around Quinn's back. "Though, it would have been nice of them to connect the dots for us." Quinn smiled as LeRoy cringed next to her.

"In my defense, it wasn't my story to tell." LeRoy rubbed Quinn's back as he looked down at the younger woman. "I wouldn't even had said something this afternoon if it wasn't for everyone being together tonight."

"It would have been kind of obvious, don't you think?" Ruth joked as she took her husband's hand into her own.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Everyone in the room jumped as the front door swung open and a very festive Hiram, laden with gift bags and a stack of casserole dishes, stumbled in. "Little help here?"

Quinn and Rachel quickly jumped up to help unburden the exuberant older man who quickly thanked them and turned back to the door.

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked as they sat the food on the kitchen counter.

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Better. Excited. Nervous. Antsy." Quinn shrugged.

"You'll be fine, I know it." Rachel beamed at her.

"You know what would help?"

Rachel stepped closer at the mischievous smile her love was giving her. "I can think of a few things."

"Mmm," Quinn hummed as Rachel's arms wrapped around her shoulders, "I'm sure you could."

Both women sighed as their lips lightly brushed together before allowing them selves to find comfort in holding the other close. Quinn nuzzled her nose into soft brunette hair, finding peace in Rachel's touch. Even as far back as high school she had always treasured Rachel's hugs; the woman always gave the best hugs, knowing just the right amount of pressure and the right length for every situation. It was one of the things she missed most about living on opposite sides of the country.

"I guess there is more my boys forgot to mention." Ruth smiled at the image before her, happy to see neither woman pull away from each other even though it was obvious she'd interrupted their moment together.

Rachel laid her head on Quinn's collarbone and smiled at her grandmother and shrugged. "It's a relatively new development, Zee Zee."

"Well dears, relish this moment while you can. It's probably going to have to last you a few hours."

"Why's that, Zee Zee?" Quinn couldn't help but smile when the older woman laid her hand on Quinn's arm that was still wrapped around Rachel's back.

"Because food and gifts wasn't the only thing Hiram brought home with him." The woman only hesitated for a moment before she continued. "He thought you might like some extra time with Beth before your family joins us."

Both Berry women watched Quinn, wondering how she'd react, both happy to see the small smile slowly spread across Quinn's face.

"That _would_ be nice. Zee Zee, would you mind terribly letting them know that we will be out in a moment?"

Ruth looked from her granddaughter to the woman in her arms and smiled. "Of course, dear. You two take your time." Quinn grinned at the wink she got from the older Berry woman as she turned and left the kitchen.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Quinn leaned down and kissed Rachel briefly. "I am. As long as you're by my side through it all."

"No place I'd rather be." Rachel said honestly.

"I do have one question though before we head into the fray." Rachel smiled up at her and waited. "Your biological mother and my biological daughter are just on the other side of that door."

"As my grandmother just informed us." Rachel replied cheekily as she played with the ends of Quinn's hair.

"Right, well, I was wondering –how are we going to handle this?" She asked, squeezing Rachel even closer to her.

"As it is, they are practically the only ones in our lives that don't know, Quinn. I thought logically, we would either tell them or let them figure it out throughout the course of the evening."

"Agreed. I just didn't want to assume."

Rachel stood on her toes and pressed her lips against Quinn's. "And I thank you for that." She whispered as she pulled back, only to surge forward again. "One more for the road."

Quinn laughed as Rachel danced out of her reach when she tried to pull the smaller woman back, shaking her head as she walked out the door.

"Rachel! Quinn!" Both women grinned as an enthusiastic eight-year-old slammed them into. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, sweetie." Rachel bent at the waist to hug the enthusiastic little girl.

"You came!" Beth bounced happily, jumping in Quinn's arms when she wrapped an arm around the girls back.

"Of course I came. I told you when I saw you at Rachel's party that I was going to, didn't I?" She asked, loving the feel of the small arms wrapped around her neck. Quinn inhaled the smell of strawberries and a scent that was distinctly Beth.

"Yes, but you've never came for Christmas before!" Beth said grabbing her hand and swung it back and forth. Rachel saw the small flash of pain in Quinn's eyes and slid her hand down the woman's arm, intertwining their fingers together. Quinn flashed her a small smile and squeezer her hand in thanks. "I get my whole family together! Did you bring me presents too?"

"Noooo. Didn't you know, princess, I am your only present?" Quinn chuckled.

Beth cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. "I think you're being facetious."

"I believe you may be right." Rachel laughed, tweaking Beth's nose.

"Do you ever remember a time when I haven't gotten you presents?" Quinn lifted her hand and spun her daughter around, impressed with her form at the impromptu dance move.

"Noooo."

"Silly girl."

"You're the silly one! So can we open our presents now?"

"Sure, sweetie. Why don't you tell your grandparents to get ready and we're going to say hi to your mommy." Rachel answered. She had saw Shelby's look as she took Quinn's hand and wanted to face this now instead of letting it linger over them all night. She gave Quinn's hand another squeeze before stepping closer to the woman who had been watching them.

"Merry Christmas, Shelby." Rachel said softly as she accepted the woman's hug.

"Merry Christmas." Shelby responded as she let go. "Hello, Quinn."

"Shelby. How are you?" Quinn asked politely, unable to stop the small smile that curved up her lips as Rachel stepped back next to her. Her smile grew wider as Rachel wrapped her arm around Quinn's back.

"I've been well, thank you." Shelby hesitated and Quinn could see the question begging to be asked before the woman looked towards the living room. "Beth has talked about nothing but you being here for the last two weeks."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad you get to be a part of her life. Though, just so you know, this means she'll end up expecting you next year as well."

"I don't see that being a problem." Quinn smiled down at Rachel and back up at Shelby. "I have a feeling she wouldn't be the only one expecting me home."

Shelby smirked and shook her head. "So does that mean you two finally broke down and admitted your feelings?"

Quinn's shoulders slumped a bit, though the smile on her face remained. "Am I seriously the only one who didn't see it?"

"Passion is difficult to mask. Be it a passion born from love or one born from anger." Shelby shrugged and smiled, widely. "I guess there is a reason the cliché "a fine line between love and hate" exist, and sometimes you end up crossing it when you least expect. You two always did have this energy between you that was undeniable."

"Mommy! Hurry up!"

The three women laughed at the impatient voice calling for them and headed into the living room. Quinn and Rachel sat next to each other as Beth ran around playing Santa, only stopping long enough to open her own gifts and a quick thank you, before jumping up for the next person's preset. The only time she stopped for more than a moment was when she'd opened Quinn's gift.

"She got me Mindstorm! Mommy, Quinn got me Lego Mindstorm!" The entire room laughed as the girl threw her head back and gave an evil laugh and dramatically rubbed her hands together. "I'm going to build a robot and take over the world."

Quinn couldn't say much though after she completely turned into a little fan girl herself when Rachel presented her with a hand crafted trunk full of every Harry Potter book and movie ever created. It brought her back to taking Rachel to the premier. Looking back it was almost as if that was truly their first date –though she'd never tell Rachel that after all the work she put into their first official date. Quinn in turn had gotten Rachel her own private surfing lessons, along with a board and suit that were waiting for her back in California. It was something that Rachel couldn't help but kiss her for. They had spent many mornings sitting out on the deck at their house watching local surfers catching waves and she had said more than once it was something on her bucket list to do. She also got a laugh from the family when she presented Rachel with "Girl's Guide to Dating a Geek" book, wrapped in a Batgirl onsie that matched her own Harley Quinn one at their house.

By the time they were done, everyone but Shelby had a huge stack of presents next to them. Beth looked over at Quinn and Rachel who nodded and left the room. The two women returned momentarily and waited for Beth to call everyone's attention before sitting a rather large package in front of Shelby.

"What's all this?" Shelby asked as she looked up at her daughter and the two women standing next to her.

"Quinn thought you'd like this stuff so she helped me make it! But I did _all_ of the pictures myself."

Shelby looked over at the woman in question who smiled and shrugged. "We've kind of been conspiring since Mother's Day. She was upset that the only thing she could get you was, and I quote, 'Some silly paper thing we made in class!'. I wanted to show her that not all handmade items were bad."

"Open it, mommy!"

Shelby nodded and gently tore into the package in front of her, ignoring the camera now aimed at her and her daughter. She lifted an overflowing basket out of the box and gasped, looking up at Quinn with tears in her eyes.

"It was nothing. I just had Beth send me a few things to turn into keepsakes for you."

Shelby pulled out item after item, all pieces of her daughters. "Oh, Quinn, this is not nothing." She wasn't even sure how the woman had been able to do everything she did from such a distance. There were framed silhouettes of both Rachel and Beth, a coffee mug that had obviously been designed by a talented eight-year-old. There was a set of key rings that had pictures Beth had drawn as well as pictures of her child. There was a hand painted box that held different flavored teas, and another small box that was settled towards the bottom of the basket.

"That one's my favorite." Beth whispered excitedly. Everyone watched as she gently opened the box, bringing her hand to her heart as she gently ran her fingers over a small gold pendant in the shape of a heart. Yet, it wasn't the item itself, but what was imprinted on it that was so moving. The back held an inscription that she read out loud as she held it up for everyone to see the front. "No matter how we come to motherhood," Shelby's voice cracked as tears rolled down her cheek, "a child will leave fingerprints on our heart." Imprinted on the front were her young daughter's fingerprints in the shape of a heart.

"I– I don't even know what to say." Shelby shakily stood from her seat and embraced Quinn.

"Thank you for being the best mother I could have ever hoped for her to have." Quinn whispered as she returned the hug.

"Thank you." Shelby said softly as she stepped back before she pulled the smaller version on the woman into her arms. "And thank you, little one. I will treasure each piece, always."

* * *

"So she's feisty." Fran laughed as she bumped her sister's shoulder, helping her and Rachel put up the left overs from supper.

"She seems to be getting along with Lucy and Pete." Rachel said as she moved to find room in the fridge for everything.

Quinn covered her mouth to fight off a yawn, failing miserably as she handed a stack of tupperware and covered casserole dishes to her girlfriend. "I don't see how you keep up with them, day in and day out. One day and I'm beat."

Rachel put the the last of the dishes into the fridge and turned to pull Quinn into her arms. "You've also had a rather emotional day."

Fran looked over at the two wrapped up in one another and smiled. It really had been a long day, and if it was long for her, she knew Rachel and her sister had to be exhausted.

"Why don't you two go have a seat? I can handle making coffee."

"Actually," Rachel turned in the circle of Quinn's arms, "as your sister just pointed out, you chase those two around on a daily basis. Let us how treat you a little. We'll make the coffee and you go rest?"

Rachel watched Fran's Fabray eyebrow rise before the woman laughed. "You just want to make out while it brews." Rachel shrugged, not denying it. "Fine, but remember, that door doesn't lock. So no hanky-panky in the kitchen."

Both women flushed red as Fran laughed and left them in peace, neither allowing her teasing to stop them from finding each other's lips the moment the door closed behind her.

"First, it was bathrooms, now kitchens." Quinn grinned into Rachel's mouth. "We have to stop having these moments where there are plumbing appliances."

"Less talking, more kissing." Rachel dragged Quinn's mouth back to hers, whimpering in pleasure as the blonde flicked her tongue against the roof of Rachel's mouth.

"Knock, knock." Both women broke apart breathlessly at the overly exaggerated entrance. "I hope I didn't interrupt." Shelby smiled at their disheveled appearance.

Rachel dragged her hand over her mouth and straightened out her hair and clothes. "No, not at all. Is there something we can do for you?"

"Actually, Beth wanted to talk to you both, but I wanted to make sure she didn't walk in on an intimate moment." Shelby chuckled at the blush deepening on both women's cheeks, deciding to give them a moment before she called for her daughter. "I have an idea what she wants to ask you both and, well, I guess I'll let her explain but if you could just try to keep an open mind and realize this is coming from an eight-year-old? It might lessen the sting a bit?"

Rachel and Quinn stood a little straighter at the preface to the conversation that Beth apparently wanted to happen. Shelby indicated they should sit down while she grabbed Beth.

"What do you think this is about?" Rachel asked, grasping Quinn's hand under the table. Her mind went to all the worst-case scenarios she could think of.

"I guess we'll find out." Quinn nodded towards the door and the sheepish face that peeked around it.

"Hi."

"Your mother said you wanted to talk to us?"

Beth nodded and made her way across the kitchen.

"What's up, buttercup?" Quinn asked playfully, but Rachel could hear the strain in her voice.

Beth took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before meeting both of their eyes and beginning.

"Well, I was wondering, and I don't know… well see, all my friends have at least one, but I don't have any because mommy doesn't have any sisters and brothers and Luce and Pete said they have a I don't have any. And it's kind of weird with you and Rachel and Puck and when I try to tell people at school they get all confused." Beth spewed out in one long breath before taking another and continuing. "And it makes me kind of sad. So I was wondering if you two would, maybe, like to be mine?" Beth looked up at them, her eyes shining with hope that seemed to dim a little as she took in the confused faces of the women before her.

"I'm sorry, Beth." Rachel started, before hesitating as Beth's shoulders drooped in defeat. "Can you please come here?" She waited until the little girl was close enough to her that she could drag her onto her lap, wondering at how big she'd gotten in the last year.

"Quinn and I need you to slow down a little bit. Neither of us are saying no, but we don't understand exactly what you're asking us for."

"But I just told you." Beth whined and Rachel shot Quinn a look, asking her for help.

Quinn turned the girl slightly and pulled her hands into her lap. "Beth, do you remember what I told you on Skype?" She waited for the little girl to shake her head. "You know how you tell me about your day, but you talk so fast that you miss some words, or I just can't keep up? Because I'm old and my brain doesn't work that fast anymore?"

Beth nodded and sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "That's just you being silly."

Quinn smiled and reached for a napkin, handing it to the tiny blonde. "Yes, it is. But, it's also true. So can you do Rachel and I a big favor and start your speech over again, but a little slower this time?"

Beth took a deep breath and nodded.

"I know that _technically_ you're my mother and everything, and Mom is my Mom and Rachel is… well, she's kind of my sister, but you two are like girlfriend so now she's kind of not too. And it's really confusing."

"Have you talked to your mom about this?" Rachel asked quietly as she ran her fingers through Beth's hair.

"Not about the you two part. Cause that's just icky. But about the rest."

Quinn grimaced at the icky part and hoped it was more because kissing in general to an eight year old was icky, not because they were two girls. She decided that was a conversation for another day though.

"What did Shelby tell you, Princess?"

"She said that I'm just lucky because I have so many people who love me. But some days I don't feel so lucky."

Quinn and Rachel's eyes met, both filled with sadness for different reasons.

"You were trying to ask us for something, right? Why don't you tell us about that?" Rachel prodded.

"And all my friends, and now my cousins, well they all have aunts and uncles but I don't. Because Mommy doesn't have any sisters or brothers. And Papa's sisters and brothers are weird and mean. I mean I like Aunt Fran and I'm happy she told me I could call her that, but she's new and I don't know her. And so I was wondering, if maybe, I mean I _know_ what you guys _really_ are, but sometimes it doesn't seem right. So I was wondering, can I call you both my aunts instead?"

Rachel could hear Quinn swallow and look down and wished she could read her thoughts. Beth seemed to see the pain that Quinn was trying to hide and crawled from her lap into her biological mother's.

"Quinn, I know you're still my belly mom. And mommy says that's a special thing we'll always have. But I want you to be more than that. I want you to be a real part of my family." Beth laid her head on Quinn's shoulder and smiled when she felt Quinn snuggle her closer and kiss her forehead.

"I thought we already were family."

"Always!" Beth smiled as she sat up. "I just like giving you an official title."

Rachel shook her head at how eloquent the young girl was. She was sure she was the same way at that age, but Beth seemed to also have her birth mother's gumption.

"It wont change anything, except I'll call you Aunt Quinn instead of Pickle." She giggled over the nickname she'd given Quinn when she was little.

"But does that mean I have to stop calling you Princess?"

"Never!" Beth giggled as Quinn began to tickle her and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. She was sure Quinn and her would talk about it later, but for now, it seemed like she was ok with letting her daughter give her a new title.

Beth's giggles slowed and Quinn wrapped her arms around the girl that was getting almost too big for her lap, giving her a firm squeeze.

"So? Does that mean yes?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "That's a yes from me."

"And a yes from me as well."

"With two yeses, Princess Beth, you have won a ticket to…" Rachel lifted her arm dramatically, before lowering it to tickle the squirming girl again, "having two aunts!"

* * *

**Secondary, sorta long A/N (Please, please read this!)**

**First off, for those of you who want to see a little more of Beth, I have a brand new, quick one shot out told from Beth's POV answering "What Makes a Family?" I'd appreciate it if you gave it a read and dropped me a comment! And on that note I have to say a quick thanks to Shaky for reminding me I'd forgot about Beth and Christmas.**

**Secondly, I want to propose a deal with you, my trusted and insightful reader. Just like many of you, I truly dislike stories with glaringly obvious plot holes and gratuitous cliffhangers. I promise to try to keep the cliffhangers to a minimum if you can all help me out with the plot holes? If at any time you notice huge plot holes, or something I've simply overlooked, or haven't answered thoroughly enough, or just want someone to chat with someone every now and then about the story (or life in general) shoot me a PM or drop me a note in the reviews! It really does affect the outcome of the story. I (usually) try to respond back to every message/review you all have so graciously leave. I truly do appreciate each and every one of them.**


	20. Solace and Disappointment

**Sorry for taking so long to update and thank you all for sticking with this! I'll be posting a Beth-centric one shot later tonight to celebrate breaking the ****200 review mark! And I'm completely honored by the 125 favorites and almost 400 follows I've received. You guys are awesome! **

**Oh... and be warned... the rating has gone up for a reason. If this isn't your thing (really?) then just look for the asterisk* and skip to the end. You wont miss much.  
**

* * *

The next few days seemed to fly passed. Rachel and Quinn tried to squeeze as much time together with their family as they could in two days. They'd stayed up entirely way too late the night before playing Game of Things, which really, is something you should ever play with your family. By the time Rachel's alarm went off at six am, neither woman was ready to move, much less get on the road. They were both thankful that Judy had suggested everyone come for breakfast as a last farewell as everyone took off, Rachel and Quinn heading towards New York for New Years, and Frannie and the kids back home to Cincinnati. By the time they finally got on the road, they'd been up for almost four hours, and had numerous cups of coffee to keep them awake. Even so, twelve hours of driving in snow and holiday traffic had them wore out by the time they pulled into the underground parking garage, they were beyond exhausted, but glad to be there.

"Is there anything else in the car?" Quinn asked as she dropped her bags on Rachel's bed.

"There is a few more gift bags, and we'll probably want to clean out the garbage, but that can wait until tomorrow."

Quinn sighed as Rachel wrapped her arms around her waist. Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead and pulled her in closer. "How about you go catch a shower, I'll order us some food and grab the last few bags? And then we can cuddle until we pass out?"

Rachel looked up at Quinn and smiled. "You sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know? I just thought… well… since we're both finally here― alone―"

Quinn chuckled. "Rae, as much as I would love that, we're both exhausted. I want to _be_ the reason we're exhausted, not have to try to fight through our exhaustion before passing out. When we make love, and hopefully that's going to be soon, I want to take my time. I want it to be special."

Rachel gave Quinn a watery smile and nodded as she let Quinn pull her closer. Quinn kissed her softly before pushing her off to the bathroom. It was almost an hour later when they both finally collapsed on the bed.

"I don't understand how I'm so tired." Quinn mumbled into the duvet where she had let her body fall, too tired to even move her head.

"It's been a long day."

Quinn huffed out a laugh and turned her head, giving Rachel an incredulous look. "Long month."

Rachel sighed and looked over at Quinn with a small smile. "God, it's been a month. Should we be celebrating?"

Quinn chuckled as she finally climbed under the blankets and snuggled up to Rachel. "I'm too tired to celebrate." She smiled as Rachel began playing with her hair. "Is it always going to be like this with you?"

"You mean are we always going to feel this overwhelming, heart racing, skin tingling love?"

"Well, that too. But no, I meant the drama and excitement and―"

"You do realize who you are dating, do you not?"

"You do have a point."

"This month has been a bit overwhelming. I apologize for that."

Quinn lifted up on her elbows. "Don't. It's been… well… okay it's been a whirling month, but I wouldn't change any of it. Because of you, I finally had a chance to start repairing the relationship with my mom. I've gotten to know my sister probably better than I have my entire life. I've gotten to meet my adorable niece and nephew. None of that would have happened if you hadn't encouraged me to go back." Quinn smiled as she leaned down and nuzzled Rachel's jaw. "Not to mention this. Us."

Rachel smiled back as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck. "Who would have thought?"

Quinn laughed. "Apparently everyone!"

"I love you."

Rachel sighed as she felt Quinn's soft lips brush gently against hers. It was the softest kiss she'd ever received, the perfect mix of love, adoration, and passion. It reminded her so much of the woman bestowing it upon her. Once Quinn lowered her walls, she radiated warmth, exuded power, and gently controlled passion. Her embrace never failed to make Rachel feel safe and protected and when she kissed, especially like this, it always felt as if she was giving instead of taking. Quinn still had her natural authority and usually took the lead, but she led softly, doing things _with_ her, not to her. She exhibited such confidence –even if those closest to her knew that her controlled benevolence was often just a mask she wore. Those who were lucky enough to be allowed to see behind her mask knew inside Quinn was soft, and tender. That was just how her kisses were. Soft and tender.

Quinn let the kiss fade as softly and slowly as it had begun. She looked down and the flushed cheeks and radiant smile looking up at her, melting under the look of complete adoration twinkling in Rachel's beautiful eyes.

"I love you too, Rachel. More than I thought I'd ever love anyone."

Rachel sighed softly, wanting nothing more than to worship the beauty above her, to show her just how much she loved her. She softly shook her head and took a breath, needing to break the tension between them before she pushed Quinn for something neither of them had the energy for. She let her fingers slide up Quinn's sides, smiling as she dug her fingers in.

"Who knew that Quinn Fabray was a huge mushball?" She giggled as she tickled the woman above her.

"Rae! Oh god! S-stoooop!" She squealed between guffaws. "Ra-Rachel!" Quinn laughed as her arms gave out and she collapsed on the body below hers. "Please! Uncle! Uncle!"

Rachel finally relented with a smile on her face, which just grew bigger as Quinn snuggled into her embrace. "Only because you said please."

They found peace in each other's arms, both lost in their own thoughts, but utterly content.

"Did you mean it?" Rachel's voice softly broke the quiet that surrounded them.

Quinn went to lift her head but Rachel shook hers, lifting her hand to hold Quinn to her chest. Quinn huffed but stayed where Rachel wanted her for the moment. She ran through what Rachel could mean and the only conclusion she came to was one that hurt.

"You don't think I love you." She stated, hating the pain that was obvious in her voice.

"What? No. Quinn, no. I know you wouldn't say those words and not mean them completely." Rachel shook her head at herself. Of course that's what Quinn would think. She tilted her head down and placed a soft kiss to the crown of Quinn's blonde hair. No, sweetie, that's not what I was trying to ask. I'm sorry I wasn't clear."

"Then what, Rae? Did I mean what?"

"This. Us. Our trip. Meeting my family. Dealing with yours. Beth."

Quinn resigned herself to a long talk instead of sleep. Leave it to Rachel to want to have an in-depth, emotional, heart-to-heart when they were both exhausted. Quinn bit back a sigh and this time when she went to sit up, Rachel let her go. Quinn knew the confusion was obvious on her face as she waited for Rachel to continue, waiting as Rachel scooted up and leaned against the headboard. She waited, watching the woman before her try to gather her thoughts and decided to give her as much time as she needed, even if she barely had enough energy to stay sitting up.

"You said that you don't regret any of it. And I guess… well…" Rachel shrugged slightly, feeling a bit insecure and unsure. It wasn't a feeling she was overly familiar with. She never had issues with words yet she couldn't seem to get the ones swimming around her brain to make any semblance of sense at the moment.

"You're asking if I regret any of it?"

"No. Yes." Rachel snorted at herself. "For someone who prides herself on her polysyllabic vocabulary, I seem to be having some issues trying to get out exactly what I mean; but in the most general sense, I guess I would have to say that yes, that is what I am asking. Moreover, I am curious how you really feel about everything. Not really the us part, as I believe I have a handle on that, but…"

"Hey," Quinn bent her head down until she was in Rachel's line of sight and smiled, "I get it. Okay? Don't hurt yourself." Rachel shook her head and pushed Quinn's shoulder, but Quinn could see the smile twinkling behind her brown eyes. "I meant it when I said I didn't regret it. I don't. I already told you what I thought about mom and Frannie. And Rachel I can't thank you enough for that. Even if nothing more ever comes from it," she held her hand up when she noticed Rachel was about to protest, "which we both know it will, but, if God-forbid nothing ever did, it was… I needed that. I had all this hurt, and pain, and I kept it hidden but it was always there. And I didn't realize how much I needed to face it, to find closure, or healing, or find a way to come to peace with it until I was hearing the words I could never even bring myself to hope for. And you helped get me there so I _could_ hear them_. _So, thank you, Rachel. Truly."

Rachel smiled and took Quinn's hand in her own, running her thumb over her knuckles. "You don't have to thank me, Quinn I wish I would have had the foresight to plan all of that, but the only thing I did was ask your sister to come see us. I know I used to say that I was a little bit psychic, and maybe I am, but I didn't even know to look for all of that. I'm just so happy that it all worked out for you."

Quinn waited. She waited for the silent "but" that she clearly heard at the end of Rachel's sentence, yet it never came. Rachel just watched her thumb drawing circles on the back of Quinn's hands.

Quinn turned her hand and wove her fingers with Rachel's. "It's not like you to hold back, Rae."

Rachel looked up at the concern that filled Quinn's eyes, seeing it even in the semi-darkened room. "I'm afraid that the question I want to ask might hurt you, and truthfully, I'm not even sure how to ask it." Rachel hesitated only a moment. "I wanted to ask you about Beth."

Rachel saw the quick flash of pain that crossed Quinn's face before the woman could hide it behind her sweet smile. "Rae, you should know by now you can ask me anything. What about Beth?"

"Quinn, I know you."

"Better than I know myself some days." Quinn agreed.

"Exactly. So I know that you may have smiled, and agreed, and put on a happy face, and you know usually I would push you to open up, but it was Christmas, and it made her happy. But I know how much that had to hurt you."

Rachel would be disappointed if she didn't open up, but honestly, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to talk about it. It did hurt. And she really hadn't taken the time to process everything, because it was Christmas, and Beth was smiling up at her, and Rachel had been smiling beside her, and so she'd taken a deep breath and moved passed it. She knew if she told her to leave it alone, unlike her high school self, she would. But she was also Rachel, the woman she'd somehow managed to fall for and she knew that Rachel would listen and not judge her or think worse of her. She knew almost every deep dark secret Quinn had, she had seen and experienced Quinn at her absolute worse, and yet, at her worse Rachel had never given up on her. Even so, she wasn't sure she wanted to face it yet.

"Rae, I'm not really sure how ready I am to talk about that." Rachel nodded in understanding, bringing Quinn's hand to her lips to let her know it was okay. It was that small, innocent gesture of acceptance that made Quinn's choice for her. "Can… would you… I can't talk to you about this when you're looking at me, especially like that. And if you ever tell anyone I asked you this, I will make your life miserable." Rachel smiled at Quinn's mock threat and cocked her head to the side, waiting. "If you so much as smile, Rae, I swear." Rachel tried schooling her face, tried hard not to smile, but was failing miserably. Quinn continued to stare at Rachel, and Rachel continued to bite her cheek and lip. It lasted a whole minute before Rachel burst out laughing.

"I hate you right now." Quinn giggled, rolling her eyes at herself as she gave up and scooted next to the still laughing woman. "Will you just shut up and hold me so I can answer and we can finally go to sleep?"

Rachel snickered and lifted her arm, letting Quinn settle in next to her. It was odd finding her self holding Quinn, but it was a good odd. It felt right. And comfortable. And all kinds of perfect.

"I'm tired, and my brain isn't working up to par, so I this comes out all kinds of messed up and is hard to understand, it's completely your fault for wanting to talk at half-passed-what-the-fuck-o'clock. Just remember that."

Quinn rolled her eyes at Rachel as she whispered, "Really Quinn, language." The reprimand she knew was coming gave her the moment she needed to try to figure out how to put what she was feeling into words.

"Do you remember one of the first few trips you took to New Haven? We had a few drinks and stumbled onto the topic of Beth and Shelby?"

Rachel nodded. It was one of those rare times in the start of their true friendship that Quinn had let her walls down. She could remember thinking that Quinn was even more beautiful when she allowed herself to be vulnerable.

"I told you how much it hurt me that I not good enough for Shelby."

"You told me that you had to actively work at not hating me for giving her what she wanted. A daughter that wasn't you."

Even though it was a pain that she'd worked through, it still echoed through her chest as she remembered. That conversation alone was one of the reasons she brought Quinn out with her on her birthday to her special sunrise spot.

Quinn felt Rachel tense beneath her and stroked her hand up and down the woman's arm. "It's like that. That pain. I _know_ I made the right choice for Beth, even if I went through a ton of pain and denial to get to this point. It has been a long road traveled to get to this place where I can be at peace with myself. It hurts, being asked to be called her aunt when I know I am so much more. But I understand. I rather be in her life, hearing her call me Aunt Quinn, than not be in her life at all." Quinn paused, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat.

"I know she's happy, and healthy, and could want for nothing. I'm lucky to know her. Shelby, Shelby would have been well within her rights to never let me see her again, but I do get to see her, and talk to her, and I get to be part of her family." Quinn's voice cracked. "But none of that replaces actually having her in my life on a daily basis. Getting to see her, and hold her, and hear about her day when she gets home from school."

Rachel's arms tightened around Quinn's shaking frame. She could feel the tears dripping onto her shoulder and felt her heart tighten in sympathy.

"I knew an open adoption, that… that it would be hard. It's sss-so bittersweet, be-because I know I couldn't give her what she needed. And god Rachel she is so beautiful, and so happy, and so blessed. And I love that. I love that I get to see her happy even if it's not with me." Quinn took a deep breath, trying to swallow back the sob that threatened to overwhelm her. "S-someone told me th-that adoption is the most beautiful pain you could ever choose. Choosing to give my daughter up, to see her now, the family she has, how happy she is― Rachel, th-that is the thing in my life that I am _most_ proud of. Beth w-will always, always be my greatest accomplishment and deep… deepest regret." 

* * *

*Quinn drifted in that soft place somewhere between wake in sleep, where dreams intermingle with reality. She felt the warmth of a body next to her, lips softly brushing against her own. She sighed into the feeling. Warm fingers caressed her cheek, making her feel more love and cherished than she ever had. Sleepily Quinn parted her lips, accepting the gentle stroke of her dream lover's tongue. She felt the moan rumble in the back of her own throat, smiling into the kiss as warm fingers skated across the skin at her hip. The repetitive kisses and caresses slowly brought her to full consciousness.

"G'morning." Quinn's voice was husky with sleep and made Rachel shiver.

"I was wondering if you were going to wake." Rachel shifted back to allow Quinn to scoot up and lean against the headboard. "How are you feeling?"

Quinn took stock of herself as she blinked the sleep out of her eyes. "Well, I could get used to waking up like that, but if I'm being honest, I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck." Quinn scrubbed her face with her hands. She really did hurt. "Are you sure we didn't drink last night?"

Rachel shook her head and reached for something off of the nightstand. "Emotional hangover."

"A what?" Quinn snorted as she took the glass of water and Advil Rachel handed her.

"Emotional hang over." Rachel repeated. "All the pain of a traditional hangover." Rachel explained as she walked across the room. "Bleary eyes, muscle aches, headache, queasy. None of the fun that usually precedes a traditional hangover."

Quinn nodded. That was her, exactly. "What's this?" Quinn leaned back as Rachel placed a tray over her lap.

"This is my way of saying thank you."

Rachel held her breath as Quinn looked down at the breakfast she had spent the morning preparing. The tray was tastefully decorated with a large stack of challah French toast with fresh cream and berry sauce. To the side there was fresh fruit. And of course, she'd ran out to Ninth Street Espresso for coffee and happened to find a flower shop along the way.

Quinn looked up and arched an eyebrow before realizing it made her head throb behind her eyes. Or that could be because she was wracking her brain trying to figure out what she was being thanked for.

"Rae? I don't understand."

"It's just– since we've started dating– you've been so good about opening up to me. I know how hard that still is for you, so this is my way of saying thank you."

Quinn melted a little and took Rachel's hand, intertwining their fingers. "You make it easy. You don't need to thank me though. Really, I should be thanking you. Not only have you forgiven me for making your life hell, you've actively helped make mine better. You're amazing, Rae." Rachel went to respond but was stopped by Quinn's lips pressed gently against her own. "Help me eat this?"

The two women spent long moments feeding each other bites between staring into each other's eyes. It was grossly sweet and Quinn knew if she saw anyone else doing it, she'd tease them relentlessly. Yet, she couldn't stop herself. Just looking at Rachel made her heart soar and made every single, silly, atrocious cliché she'd ever heard about love actually seem real.

"You realize you've turned me into a huge sap?" Quinn questioned after she caught herself kissing away a drop of syrup that clung to the side of Rachel's lips.

"I'm not complaining."

"I didn't think you would. So? What's the plan for today?" Quinn asked as Rachel moved the almost empty tray to the floor next to the bed.

"Well―" Rachel's grin was nothing shy of mischievous as she sat back up. Quinn could feel Rachel's eyes burning a slow track up her body and couldn't help but smirk in return as she waited for Rachel to finish her thought― or her steamy perusal.

"Well?" Quinn licked her bottom lip slowly before sucking it into her mouth; Rachel's eyes were transfixed on the movement. Rachel was sure she had a plan when as she had moved their breakfast tray, but the feeling of Quinn's blunt nails lightly scraping up her leg, moving over her outer thigh made Rachel's head grow blurry, her heart was racing, and she couldn't seem to tear her eyes from Quinn's darkening ones.

"Well, we, uh… I was thinking since it's almost noon we could g-go…" Rachel paused and swallowed hard as she felt Quinn's fingers trailed up her naked calf.

"Go?"

Rachel shook her head slightly, trying to figure out what she was planning on saying.

"Rachel?" Quinn rolled the name off her tongue, loving the effect she was having on her diva. Quinn leaned forward, letting her breath brush Rachel's lips. "You wanted to go somewhere?"

"No." Rachel shook her head, her eyes fluttering shut as warm fingers grazed over the skin at her hip. She swallowed hard, feeling her arousal grow with each heartbeat. Tingles spread down her legs at the light touch. "No. No where."

Quinn's breath left her as dark eyes locked onto her own. She stared at the woman before her, her face, the line of her jaw, the softness of her lips, the slight set of her mouth, the eyes burning with desire. She could see the rise and fall of her unsteady breath and the gentle tremble of her shoulders. Quinn felt her heart stutter as the moved for each other, Rachel's hand at the back of her neck, pulling her in, her own wrapping around Rachel's waist. Their lips crashed together desperately, opening immediately to accept hot kisses, warm tongues, wet lips.

Rachel knew desire. She knew what it felt like to be wanted and to want someone in return. But this, this was something more. Something brilliant and beautiful and intoxicating and new. Quinn's touch wasn't just hot on her skin, it was scalding. Her skin felt too tightly stretched over her body and every inch of it cried out in need for Quinn. She moaned into Quinn's kiss as she crawled onto the taller woman's lap, her legs stretched deliciously on either side of Quinn's hips. She needed it. Needed more. Rachel dug her fingers into Quinn's scalp, swallowing Quinn's moan as the woman ran her hands up and down her back, pulling her impossibly closer. Rachel whipped her mouth away from Quinn's, gasping for breath that was stolen away relentlessly as Quinn's lips blazed a trail over her jaw and down her neck.

"Please, Quinn." Rachel begged, not even sure what she was begging for.

Quinn felt her center clinch at the breathy words and raked her teeth along the column of Rachel's neck. She groaned as Rachel's body arched, grinding her hips down. She wanted to go slow, wanted to take her time, but she needed Rachel. She needed to touch her, feel her. Her hands tensed with the need to find more soft skin. Her mouth watered with the need to taste every inch. She growled impatiently as she ripped at Rachel's shirt, needing to feel her flesh against her own skin.

Rachel leaned back and yanked the offending garment over her head, practically panting as she felt Quinn's eyes travel down her torso. She raked her nails against the nape of Quinn's neck, loving the shiver that she could feel run through QUinn's body.

Quinn licked her lips, needing just a moment to take in the sight before her. Never had she seen something more beautiful. Rachel was exquisite. Her olive toned skin was flushed pink. She was perfectly fit but had curves in all the right places. Her breasts, though small were perfect for her size, crowned with the most deliciously pink, pebbled nipples. She felt her own harden in response beneath her tank top. The palms of her hands itched to map out every curve, every contour. Her eyes flickered up to Rachel's in silent question.

Rachel smiled at the timid look, loving Quinn even more for the gesture. She slid her hands down Quinn's arms, delighting in the goosebumps that sprung beneath them, and took Quinn's hands in her own, bringing them up to her skin."Touch me, Quinn." Rachel moaned as Quinn did just that, gently cupping her breast. Rachel felt a jolt of electricity shoot down her torso as Quinn's thumbs ran over her nipples. She began to rock herself against Quinn's toned stomach, needing more pressure between her legs, groaning as she felt her panties press against her dripping folds, sure that Quinn could feel it through the thin barriers separating them. Rachel threw her head back as Quinn lowered her mouth, her hot tongue flattened against her breast, before sucking as much of it as she could into her mouth. "Fuck."

Quinn grinned into the soft flesh of Rachel's breast, loving the affect she was having on the woman above her. She kissed her way across the valley between Rachel's breast, lightly grazing her teeth against her nipple, flicking her tongue quickly against it. Quinn felt Rachel grasping and pulling at her back and let Rachel's nipple leave her mouth with a pop as the diva scrambled to pull Quinn's shirt over her head. Both women stuttered out a broke breath at the feel of their skin against one another's. It felt like silk and fire and fluid movement. Quinn felt her abs tighten in delicious anticipation, her hands wandering from Rachel's hips, over her smooth back, before finally lowering to perfectly round globes.

"Qu-Quinn―" Rachel gasped as Quinn pulled her by her ass, forcing her center to grind harder against Quinn's abs. Quinn swallowed roughly at the wetness she felt pressed against her skin, aiding Rachel as she began to rock harder and faster against her.

"Rachel." The brunette shivered at the way Quinn growled out her name as she peppered kisses along her neck.

"Please, Quinn. Please."

Quinn nodded as she continued to lave kisses and bites onto Rachel's neck. She thrust her hips up, meeting Rachel's grinding motion, but holding her into place. Quinn brought her lips to Rachel's, swallowing her whimper. Quinn, holding Rachel tightly to her, one hand on her luscious ass, the other holding her neck lifted them both up, slowly lowering Rachel until her back met the cool mattress behind her. Quinn's whole body throbbed with desire, but she pushed it aside, needing to see Rachel come undone under her even more. Quinn leaned back on her heels, kneeling between Rachel's thighs.

"Beautiful." Rachel's hair was mussed, her naked chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to catch her breath. Small beads of moisture clung to the fine hairs at her stomach, pleasantly free of any fabled treasure trail. The only thing stopping her perusal was a tiny pair of sleep shorts. Quinn ran her fingers trailed Rachel's naturally tanned legs, loving the feel of the combination of soft skin and toned muscles that flexed beneath the surface as her hand moved slowly up. She gave Rachel one last tentative look before she hooked her fingers under the waistband. Rachel's eyes were blown open, almost black with desire, but she could also see the affection and love shining from them as Rachel lifted her hips, allowing her to remove the last article separating herself from Quinn.

Rachel felt like she should be self conscious under Quinn's gaze, but the way Quinn looked at her, as if she was something precious just made her want to give more of herself over to Quinn's wandering gaze. She felt it move over every inch of displayed skin and it made her drip in need, wanting Quinn's fingers and lips to join in her perusal. Rachel sighed as Quinn slowly spread her legs apart and stared between them, unconsciously licking her lips. The pink tongue slowly raking over kiss swollen lips sent a shot of desire down Rachel's spine.

"Quinn?"

Quinn's eyes shot up to Rachel's at the softly spoken word, melting at the smile Rachel gave her. Rachel lifted her hand, pulling on her forearm, forcing her to move, meeting her halfway. Rachel's lips on her own were soft, gentle, pleading.

"Take these off?"

Quinn looked down their bodies to where Rachel played with the waistband of her lacy boy-shorts and back up at Rachel, almost confused. Rachel couldn't help but find the look absolutely adorable. "I want to feel you, Quinn. Please?"

Quinn nodded dumbly, completely overwhelmed with sensations and emotions, unable to make her brain work hard enough to form words. She quickly moved back, pulling and kicking until she was free of the undergarments. Quinn landed back on Rachel, knocking the air from her lungs.

"Sorry. Sorry." Quinn stuttered as she lifted herself onto her arms. She was an adult. She had had sex before. With men, women, and a few that fell somewhere between the two genders. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous and clumsy, but she felt like her whole body was trembling.

Rachel shook her head and laughed as she struggled to gain her breath. She laughter faded as she stared up at the woman above her. Quinn's shaggy blonde hair fell in a halo around her face, glowing in the late morning sun that shone through her penthouse windows. She traced a finger over the toned muscles in Quinn's shoulders, downed her sexily defined bicep. sliding over to take Quinn's breast in her hand. The woman above her shuddered and let her hips graze Rachel's thighs.

She reached up and pulled Quinn gently down, taking her lips between her own. Their kiss started soft, slow, and tender. Rachel lost track of time as Quinn's mouth made love to hers, each caress making her skin tingle, the tiny hairs standing on end, trying to get closer to the woman whose energy made each cell in Rachel's body cry out in need. There was no fight for dominance, no need for it, just a gentle give and take. Quinn moaned loudly as Rachel's tongue raked against the rough of her mouth. The sound set them off, hands that had been gently meandering over skin grabbed roughly. Kisses that were gentle became a mash of lips and teeth. Their passion moved from slow and exploratory, to hot and explosive, and back again, moaning and whimpering into each other's mouths as tongues tangled. Quinn's hips began to dilate, pressing against Rachel, wetness pooling between them as their bodies began to rock into one another.

"Oh my god!" The women broke apart at the gasp and stared at each other, panting.

"Ay dios mío! My eyes!"

Quinn and Rachel's heads snapped towards the door of Rachel's room. To see a grinning blond and a furious brunette standing in the doorway. All four women were frozen, unable to tear their eyes away from one another. Seeing Brittany lick her lips snapped Quinn out of her daze.

"GET OUT!" Quinn yelled as she scrambled to throw blankets over her and her lover without moving from her perch. No way was she letting those two see more than they already had.

"Se trata de la mierda de tiempo pero en serio?" Santana turned around and grabbed Brittany, dragging her from the room, spewing Spanish curses at them as they walked away. "Mis malditos ojos! Voy a tener que blanquear mi cerebro después de ver eso!"

"Rachel?"

Rachel had locked her arms around Quinn's neck and refused to let go. This did not just happen. Her body still trembled with unanswered desire. It was a dream. This all was. This just didn't happen. Rachel shook her head and buried it into Quinn's neck.

"No." She whispered against Quinn's straining neck as she tried to pull away.

"Rae?"

"No."

"No? No! That's all you have to say right now?"

Rachel nodded and kissed Quinn's neck.

"What the fuck? Why in god's name is Brittany and Satan herself sitting in your living room right now?"

Rachel leaned her forehead onto Quinn's shoulder as the woman sat up, bringing Rachel with her. "They're not sitting. I'm almost certain Santana is pacing and Brittany is probably trying to get her to dance with her. Or do something else with her."

"Rachel!"

Rachel sighed and let go of Quinn, realizing this was going to happen right now, no matter how much she denied it. "Please tell me our first time did not really just get interrupted by our two best friends."

Quinn narrowed her eyes at the sheepish, apologetic look Rachel was giving her. "I seriously fuckin' wish I could. You knew they'd be here?"

"No, not exactly, but it doesn't surprise me either. They did know we got in last night."

"That doesn't explain why they were standing in your doorway. Your BEDROOM doorway! How did they even get in your apartment? The door was locked. I locked the door myself last night."

Rachel shrugged her shoulders as she played with the ends of Quinn's hair silently willing her libido to quiet down, but it was difficult seeing as she was still straddling a completely naked, completely gorgeous woman who she was completely in love with. "I might have given Santana a key in order for her to be able to keep an eye on the condo while I was in LA."

"And by might, you mean you did."

Rachel looked up and nodded. Quinn sighed and shook her head, she couldn't be mad. At least not at Rachel. She leaned down and grazed her lips against Rachel's, whimpering as the small woman sucked her lower lip into her mouth.

"YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS NEED TO GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE BEFORE I GO ALL LIMA HEIGHTS ADJACENT ON YOU BOTH FOR SCARRING ME FOR LIFE!"

Her though? She could kill.

"Fuck. Just fuck." Quinn ran her fingers through her hair and took one last look at the beautiful, naked woman on top of her before she wiggle her way from under her and off the bed. "You need to get rid of her, find out what she wants, something― before I have to do something drastic. Like murder her. I'm going take a shower. A very. Cold. Shower." 

* * *

**I'm sorry. Seriously, really, really, super sorry. Y****ell at me in the comments if you have to― but I swear t****here are reasons. And if it helps I've had most of the next chapter written for months, I just need to add a few things. So… yeah… uh… before I go run and hide just know I promise I'll make it up to you. Very soon.**

**(ducks away quickly)**


	21. Anger, Drinking, and Lust

**10,000 words to make up for the last chapter. And because the one after this might take a while due to a recent injury. You can pretty much say that this is 75% M rated. And no, I'm not apologizing for that. I will apologize for the drunk editing though. Not sure if it helped or made it heaps worse. :)**

* * *

Rachel seriously had no idea what had happened. When she woke up this morning and she'd enjoyed the moments of bliss as she watched Quinn slumber peacefully next to her. She'd made them breakfast and they'd almost, almost made love.

Which brings her to now, standing in a dressing room, halfway across town from where she knows Brittany has dragged Quinn in order to keep her from killing Brittany's wife. Who was currently standing in front of her wearing a shit eating grin.

"I really don't see what you're hoping to accomplish with this?" Rachel gestured down to her overly tight, obscenely low cut shirt and skintight pants.

"Are you kidding me right now? Have you even looked at yourself?" Santana grabbed Rachel by the shoulders and forced her around, pointing towards the mirror in front of them. "You're going to have every single person drooling."

"The only person I want drooling over me is god knows where with _your_ wife." Rachel growled as she spun around and stormed back to the changing room.

"God, Berry, we said we were sorry. Brittany actually had a day off, and instead of spending it with me, she wanted to see the two of you. With how you've both been acting today, I don't even know why."

"Can you blame us?" Rachel yelled over the divider.

"Damn it, Berry, it wasn't our fault! How could we know you two would be in the middle of something? Knowin' how repressed you've both been you've probably been going at it like bunnies for months anyway. Just chill already."

Rachel was standing before her before she could even blink. "You have no idea how much I hate you right now, Santana. You have no idea _what_ you are talking about right now. You have no idea just what you interrupted, not that it is _any _of your _damn business!_ I gave you that key so that you could make sure my plants were watered, not for you to break into my house whenever you damn well pleased. Yet you have the nerve to tell me to chill?"

Santana was taken aback by the look of pure fury that radiated from Rachel's glare and had to admit, if only to herself, that the woman was actually scaring her a bit as she stood in a bra and tight pants, reading her the riot act. But she was Santana after all and gave as good as she got. Even if she might have felt just the smallest amount of guilt, there was no way in hell she'd let the troll in front of her know it. "You need to back up. We may be almost friends now, but if you keep getting in my face..." She let the threat hang, biting back a smile when Rachel huffed out a sigh and turned back towards the dressing room. "And for your information, Ms. High-and-Mighty, we did knock. Repeatedly. And when we finally came in, we even called for you. Loudly. And guess what? No answer!"

"And when no one answered you didn't think to assume ...that we may have been out? Or otherwise occupied and couldn't answer? Or maybe, just maybe, there was a reason that didn't involve you when we decided to ignore the two of you for five minutes? But I guess we both missed the memo where you and Brittany are the center of the universe and nothing but what is happening to you or is about you fuckin' matters?" Rachel snapped as she finally was able to pull the skin tight jeans from her legs, purposely throwing them in the direction she knew Santana to be sitting.

"At least this grown up, Broadway star version of you had finally grown some balls, Rachel."

"Yes, and right now, they're big and blue." Rachel mumbled just loud enough for the former cheerleader to hear.

Santana couldn't help but chuckle a bit and wonder just how the two of them had gotten to this point in their relationship where she was sure that neither of them would die by calling the other one out, telling them they were a bitch, and really, really needed to fuck off. Well, she'd always been more than willing to tell Rachel, or anyone who pissed her off, as much. But she realized as she sat there folding the pants she was going to force the diva to buy, that they might finally be to the point where Rachel could the _her_ those words and she wouldn't want to completely kill her. Santana sighed as she heard Berry zip up her dress. "Listen, I'll deny the ever loving hell out of saying this but... I'm sorry, okay? We screwed up." Santana muttered as she stared at the floor. "We just… we've missed you guys."

Rachel sighed and sat down next to her friend on the bench sitting outside the dressing rooms. She bumped her shoulder with Santana and smiled. "You know we've both missed you too, Santana. Especially me. Quinn has all these west coast people, but all my east coast family is here. So I get it. But..." Rachel closed her eyes, trying not to relive every moment of their morning before it had so rudely been interrupted. "You have understand and try to forgive Quinn for how she acted this morning. Today was kind of a big moment for us."

Santana watched Rachel sigh heavily and tried to understand why Quinn and Rachel were so pissed about being interrupted. God knows Britt and her were walked in on by both the other women more than once. Hell, she could remember a time when Rachel walked in mid-rant and didn't stop even though it was obvious that Her and Britt weren't slowing down.

And then she looked at Rachel. Rachel who was avoiding eye contact. Rachel whose cheeks were bright red. Rachel who was never the type to just jump into bed with someone. Rachel who, in the month their best friend and her had been dating, had been basically living with her parents. Santana stared dumbly.

Rachel snorted out a laugh when she saw her face and pushed her mouth closed. "Yes, Santana, this morning was supposed to be _the_ big moment for us."

"You and Quinn, I mean, I just... I would have thought… I mean I know my wife has an uncanny ability to find places to fuck but you mean to tell me not once did you two sneak away for a little..." Santana shivered at the thought of her two best friends and waved off the thought, especially when Rachel's face was turning the color of their old Cheerio uniforms. "No way. Wait, what about high school?" Rachel shot Santana an irritated look and the woman held up her hands in surrender. "I'm just asking. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a lesbian and a judgmental bitch. Which means one thing –I have awesome gaydar. And you two reeked of sexual tension. It's like every time you were close to each other, you couldn't decide if you wanted to rip each other's hair out, or rip each other's clothes off. You have to admit, you two had this weird push-pull thing for years."

"Yes, well, as true as that might be, no, we have yet to take our relationship to that stage. At this point, please understand I am not currently trying to make you feel worse. I am only explaining. But, well, this morning was the closest we've ever gotten to taking that step." Rachel admitted, even as her cheeks burned in embarrassment at the words.

"And B and I walked in." Santana sighed. "Ay dios mios. We _really_ fucked up."

Rachel shook her head, too tired and frustrated, to even remind her friend how horrible her vocabulary was. She chuckled humorlessly instead. "While that would never be the exact words I would use, the sentiment is very accurate. You _did_ interrupt a very important moment."

"Berry, you know I hate you most days," Santana said with a smile that gave truth to the jest her words were, "but I hope you know I would have never knowingly have ruined that moment for you. You and Finn? Hell yes. You and Gigalo McGee? In a fuckin' heart beat. But you and Quinn? You're like Britt and I. Some weird cosmic bs pulled you two together and you're both better for it and there is no way I want to mess with all that fate and try to come between you."

"Do you really think that?"

Santana shrugged. "I believe there is someone out there watching out for all of us, putting people in our lives. Still wonder how I got stuck you with in mine but whatever. I'm sure he, or she, or they have their reasons and I'll just have to wait until they want to tell 'em to me."

Rachel cocked her head to the side. "I guess that makes sense. I just, I feel like I'm this walking cliché for romance and love, but I can't help it. She makes me happy, Santana. Happier than I ever thought possible."

"Ugh, please don't ruin this by getting all sappy. I said I was sorry, you don't have to torture me as well. Just… let me buy your outfit for tonight and we'll call it even?"

Rachel snorted out a laugh. "After what you interrupted this morning, it's going to take a lot more than an outfit to make up for this."

"Yeah, well, I'm not letting you hit me again, so you can get that thought out of your head."

"I won't resort to violence." Rachel promised as she stood up and reached down to help Santana up. "I can't promise Quinn wont though."

"Joder mi vida." Santana crossed herself as she let Rachel pull her up. She didn't let go of Rachel's hand when she was on her feet, but used it to pull the smaller woman around to face her. "And for the record, Berry, I hope you know you make her happy too. Happier than I've ever saw her."

* * *

"I can't believe I got roped into this." Quinn groaned as she let Mercedes and Brittany work on her hair and make up.

"Quinn, girl, please stop complaining. I get to see you what? Once, maybe twice a year? Can you please at least _pretend_ to be happy that we all get to go out together tonight?"

Brittany smiled as she leaned against the vanity in front of Quinn. "She still mad that she didn't get to have sex with Rachel."

Quinn's eyes popped open as she glared at her best blonde. "Brittany!"

Brittany shrugged off the other woman's glare. "What it's true?"

"So what if it is? I wouldn't be in such a pissy mood if you and your wife would have given us time to get rid of some of this damn sexual tension. I'm almost one hundred percent convinced one touch down there and I'm going to explode."

Mercedes chuckled and shook her head. "I so did not need to know that."

Brittany frowned and played with the make-up brush in her hand. "I'd offer to help, but I don't San or Rach would like that too much. Even if S runs her mouth you know we really _are_ sorry, Q."

Quinn hated making the other blonde feel bad. It was like kicking a puppy. And she knew at least one of her two best friends actually was really, really sorry. The fact that she was the one currently apologizing helped a little. Quinn sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes again to let Brittany work on her eye shadow. "I know you are, B. I'm just tired and frustrated. It's not your fault."

"So you and Berry are really doing this thing, huh?" Mercedes teased some product into Quinn's hair, giving her the perfect mussed up, sexy bed head. Quinn's involuntary smile said it all. "You've got it bad."

"No, I'm pretty sure she has it really good, Mercedes. Rachel's smoking hot and the way she was riding Quinn this morning, she has to be amazing in bed."

"Oh my god." Quinn groaned, wishing she could melt into the chair. She was so going to kill Santana as soon as she saw her.

* * *

Rachel could feel the bass line vibrating through her before they'd even reached the door of the club. She had yet to see Quinn since this morning and the anticipation of seeing her love made her vibrate right along with it. Santana had dragged her all over the city in search of the perfect outfit for both of them, only stopping to meet up with Kurt and Blaine for a late lunch. Most of the original Glee club were planning on meeting up at the club at some point, but right now, there was only one of them she had eyes for. Rachel's jaw dropped the moment she saw her, her mouth literally watered at the sight of the gorgeous blonde walking towards her. The breathtaking woman had yet to notice her as she joked with Puck and Mike as they walked up to the club, teasing and laughing with one another. Rachel was thankful she had a moment to take Quinn in, because if those eyes landed on her even for a second, friends be damned, she would be draggin QUinn back to the parking lot to find a dark room to work themselves into exhaustion for the next week.

"Hot damn." She heard one of her friends mutter, vaguely noticing that Kurt had elbowed his boyfriend and nodded towards the other group. Quinn looked… Gorgeous? No... scrumptious. Sexy? Tantalizing? Edgy? Rachel couldn't decide but all she knew was Quinn looked like sex on two legs and she wanted to be between them. She couldn't help but wonder if their friends had saw her reaction to Quinn's look their senior year and decided to torture her with it in the best possible way tonight. Quinn's hair was slightly mussed, and if it were once again bright pink, she would truly look like the punk she pretended to be back in high school. The sleeves of Quinn's leather jacket were rolled back exposing her well sculpted forearms. The front of the jacket was pushed open, revealing the dark band shirt she wore beneath, tastefully shredded to show off just the right amount of skin and flashes of her black bra. But Rachel's favorite part was the short miniskirt paired with fishnet stockings and her unlaced combat boots. If they were anywhere else, Rachel would have already been fucking Quinn with more than just her eyes.

"You're drooling, Berry." Santana whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine as she nodded, dumbly.

* * *

Feeling eyes on her Quinn looked up, instantly finding Rachel's intensely burning into her skin and slowed her walk, giving the diva time to peruse at her leisure. The fact that it meant she could take her time staring back was just a plus. Quinn swallowed harshly, trying to figure out how she was going to make it through a night of drinking and dancing, surrounded by their closest friends, without jumping the small diva.

"Holy shit, Jewbabe is rockin' it!"

Quinn absentmindedly back handed Puck's stomach, biting back urge to growl, "Mine." She had to admit though, Puck's comment wasn't far off the mark. Rachel was devastatingly sexy.

Quinn slowly moved her eyes down Rachel's body. Her hair was thrown up in a messy updo that showed off her beautiful neck, the line interrupted by a necklace that drooped just low enough to bring your eyes down to her beautifully displayed cleavage. Rachel's white shirt hugged every single curve she owned, lifting her breast almost to the point of overflowing out of the top of her shirt. Quinn bit back a groan at the sight of leather pants that looked like they had been created by Athena herself and painted on to her skin. And fuck, those boots! Her stiletto boots made her deliciously toned legs seem like they went on for miles. She knew the woman had to be freezing, but the affect she was having on everyone in her vicinity was definitely worth it. Damn their friends, damn this morning, and damn anyone who even tried to come between them tonight.

"I think we might need to run interference for them tonight." Kurt nodded to the rest of the group, sure that Quinn and Rachel wouldn't hear a word even though they were all now standing within inches of each other as they waited in the VIP line for the club. One look at the couple and you could tell that the rest of the world had melted away from them and they were the only two that existed in their little bubble.

Mercedes watched the two women staring at each other like it had been years, not hours, since they'd seen each other. "Or maybe we should just send them on their way?"

"Oh hell no. We came to party!" Puck yelled, earning him cheers from the crowds surrounding them. He was good at being a cockblock and would have tons of fun running interference. Puck grinned and rocked back in forth in anticipation before remembering he wasn't a patient person. "My Jewish American Goddess!" Puck wiggled his eyebrows at Quinn as he scooped a surprised and squealing diva into his arms. "Anyone told you how fuckin' hot you are?" He smirked at the glare Quinn shot him as he put the smaller woman back on her feet. This was going to be too much fun!

* * *

This day had just been shit. She knew she should feel guilty for feeling that way, but she didn't care. Quinn was buzzed. And pissed. Mostly pissed. And horny. One look in Rachel's direction and her libido flared to life again. All she wanted was time alone with Rachel, even just to hold her; but every time she made a move in her direction, one of their friends would find a way to pull one of the two of them away –be it through conversation, drinks, or dancing. After seeing Rachel out front, she hadn't been able to get within arms reach of the woman. And now she was buzzed. And pissed. And still horny as hell. She knew what they were doing, trying to get the two women to relax and just enjoy being out with friends who were more like family, but right now, she kind of hated them for it.

Santana slammed into her shoulder, more than a little tipsy herself, and gave her an apologetic smile, rolling her eyes at the glare Quinn sent her. "Oh, for the love of god, if you don't stop pouting already!"

"Don't Santana."

"How bout I buy you a drink? Or better yet…" Quinn knew that look. Santana was up to something, and more than likely, she wasn't going to like it. She had on her devious, 'I'm going to fuck you up' look.

She watched the Latina spin on her heel and eye their group, her eyes and smile getting bigger. "Alright, losers, it's time to really start having some fun!"

Rachel looked up at Santana before shooting her eyes over to Quinn, one looking excited, and more than a little evil, the other looking an odd mix of anxious, pissed, and buzzed.

"Who's up for body shots?"

"Do we get to pick our partner?" Tina asked, leaning against the bar. Rachel was quite sure her manager was already well passed the point of being drunk. The small Asian woman never could hold her liquor.

Rachel knew this was a mistake, no matter how many shots she had already done. Even though she could hold her liquor better than Tina, she also knew she was quickly approaching her limit, not to mention this was just a bad idea all the way around.

"Come on Rachel! You're not scared are you?" Santana yelled over the heavy bass line.

"Hardly."

"I'm first!" Puck grinned, looking Quinn up and down.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, not going to happen!"

"Oh come on Baby Mama! We got a kid together!"

Rachel watched as the statuesque blonde. It was one thing for Brittany to lay one on them as she was known to do while drunk, but it was something else entirely for any of them to have their mouth on Quinn's body. No matter what they'd agreed on the phone hours before. She wasn't a jealous person, but the thought of anyone's mouth but her being on Quinn's made her blood pressure rise. She couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when Quinn shrugged her shoulders and told the overgrown man-child that it still wasn't going to happen.

"You are not going to get out of this," Santana glared at Quinn, "but let's get this going big man." She arched her neck out and waited for the salt. She figured she owed Quinn one.

"See! Someone still can't resist Puckasaurus!"

Santana growled. "In your dreams."

"And what sexy fuckin' dreams they are." Everyone in the group rolled their eyes at the typical Puckerman response. He might have grown up a bit in the last five years, but a little alcohol reverted him to his pervie-seventeen-year-old self. Santana grinned, throwing her hair over her shoulder and baring her neck and shrugged. Who was she to deny someone their dirty, sex filled dreams?

Rachel shook her head as Puck shimmied in place, looking like he'd just struck the jackpot. She watched Brittany place a slice of lime between her own glossy lips and felt her eyes drift back over to Quinn who was studiously staring into her drink. It only took a moment to come to the conclusion that she could never be like Santana and Brittany, so free and open with their sexuality as well as their sexual partners. She knew that since before they had been married they had been fully committed to each other and no one else for a while. Yet, even at the slight distance, in the dimly lit club, she could see Brittany's eyes darkening with lust as her eyes locked on Santana's, watching as Puck slowly slid his tongue over her girlfriend's neck. The man stepped back, dusting his handy work with salt. Before Rachel could blink, the salt was gone and Britt and Santana were pressed against the bar kissing passionately, the group almost deafened by Puck's loud wolf whistle.

"Some things never change." Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Who is next?"

Brittany ripped her lips away from Santana's. Rachel was sure only Santana could whine at the loss while shooting everyone a look that would incinerate most people on the spot.

"That would be me." Santana growled, shocking everyone as she pulled Rachel close to her.

"Oh, no." Rachel shook her head admittedly.

"Oh, yes." Santana glared at Rachel, daring her to continue to argue. As much as she hated to admit it, that look still scared the hell out of her and Santana knew it.

"Please Tana." Rachel whined, knowing it was pointless, just as much as she knew what the evil woman was doing as her eyes shot over to Quinn.

The blonde was practically radiant with anger and apparently Santana saw it as well. With a satisfied smirk Santana lowered a shot glass between the cleavage Rachel was still mortified to be showing off.

"I knew this shirt would come in handy tonight." The Latina licked her lips as she trailed her fingers across Rachel's collarbone.

Rachel swallowed harshly. "W-was this your plan all along?"

She watched Santana's eyes flicker towards Quinn before coming back to rest on her own. She gave a nonchalant shrug. "Maybe."

"Stop flirting and get on with it!" Puck growled. Three sets of hands smacked him at once, though the pain didn't stop the drool Rachel swore she saw dribbling out of the side of his mouth as Santana pulled her closer.

"Who thought this was a good idea?" Kurt groaned, as he covered his eyes.

"It was a fuckin' great idea! I mean look at them!"

"Do you ever shut up?" Kurt screeched, burrowing himself into Blaine's back as the younger man chuckled.

"Puck is right. Rachel is hot. Santana is hot. They're hot together." Brittany reasoned, staring just as hard as the horny man-child.

Rachel couldn't deny that Santana was hot as the woman was pressed against her thigh to sternum. She had the kind of body that you would see gracing the covers of magazines and walking down runways; the kind that made every girl around her question their self-esteem just by being in the same room. In short, she was stunningly beautiful, even if she was slightly scary and intimidating. Rachel's heart begin to race as her eyes flicked over to her girlfriend and back to the woman whose body pressed against her front. Santana's hand settled on her hip, holding her in place as she bent down and pressed her lips against Rachel's collarbone. Rachel tried to shake the lust from her head even as her skin flushed and her stomach tightened. As good as it felt, and as beautiful as Santana was, she wasn't whom Rachel wanted and she couldn't help imagining another set of lips on her.

"Open."

Rachel's eyes shot open at the command to find Santana looking at her, amused, as she lifted a lime to Rachel's lips. Rachel licked her lips and obliged, lightly biting on the rind of the citrusy fruit. She shivered as warm lips caressed her collarbone, sliding slowly down the subtle curve of her breast. She fought to the urge to bury her hands into dark hair to hold her in place and couldn't help the groan that escaped her throat as a warm tongue slid between the valley of her breast. Her eyes flew to Quinn's and watched the woman's nostrils flare in anger and lust.

Rachel was convinced Santana either had a death wish or was trying to kill her. She felt the beautiful woman chuckle into her skin, knowing the woman could feel her erratic heartbeat as her tongue slowly lapped around the shot glass, licking and nipping at the skin surrounding it. She almost thanked god when she saw Santana's lips encircle the glass, pulling back to down the shot. Rachel's knees went weak as Santana grabbed the back of her neck roughly, her fingers scratching along her scalp as she pressed their lips together, her tongue snaking into Rachel's mouth to steal the lime.

"Holy shit." Rachel whispered as she slumped bonelessly against the bar.

"Fuck. That was…" Tina sighed as she stared at the two women.

"Hot." The rest of the group filled in simultaneously.

"I could be hotter." Brittany's voice flittered into Rachel's hazy brain. Before she could even realize what was happening, her chest was covered in alcohol and warm lips as a happy Britt eagerly licked every inch of bare skin. This time Rachel couldn't stop the hand that reached up and laced through silky, blonde hair. She wondered what Quinn was thinking, though her own thoughts were hazy as the taller woman's tongue slid under the edge of her bra. Rachel's hips canted forward on their own accord as she groaned, wishing it was another blonde who was creating the sensations that flooded her body. Her hooded eyes landed on Quinn's, thankful for the bar digging into her back as their eyes locked, her knuckles turning white as she grabbed onto the bar, trying to knees from buckling at the searing look Quinn gave her. This was wrong. So very, very wrong. But she couldn't get her alcohol soaked brain to figure out a way to stop it.

Santana would have laughed at her friend's plight if she wasn't totally turned on. Granted, Britt was there, but Rachel was her argyle-wearing, Broadway-singing, hobbit, best friend and she did not need to be thinking of the girl as hot. Not to mention she was sure that Quinn would kill her for the thought.

"Okay, stop teasing the poor girl, Britt-Britt." She chuckled at the look Rachel shot her, murderous yet relieved, her pupils fully blown. "Get your own blonde, shorty."

Rachel nodded silently as she tried to reign in her libido, knowing it had little to do with the other two thirds of the Unholy Trio. No, it had solely to do with the woman who was looking at her like she wanted to devour her alive. She watched as Quinn's eyes repeatedly found her own, almost relieved when the woman kept her distance, knowing her will power was hanging on only by a thread. Once Rachel felt steady enough, she turned and ordered a drink, downing it quickly before ordering a second. Rachel quietly kept her perch at the bar, nursing her drink as she watched as the other Gleeks took their shots in more and more scandalous manners.

"You're up Rachel. Show us what you've got!" Brittany yelled, a huge grin covering her face.

"I don't know Britt-Britt. I don't think the hobbit has it in her." Santana grinned at Rachel, daring her to prove her wrong.

Rachel glared back. Fuck it, she was already a little drunk, more than a little turned on, and still royally pissed that their morning had been cut short. And even if each of those things were horribly, painfully true, Rachel Berry did _not_ back down from a challenge. If Santana Lopez wanted her to bring it, she was going to bring it to a whole new level.

"You. You. And You." Rachel growled, pointing at Santana, Brittany and Quinn in turn. "Are mine." Puck howled as Mike and Sam high-fived.

Quinn raised her eyebrow at her girlfriend and swallowed hard at the determined, slightly glazed look she received in return. This woman was going to be the death of her, she was sure of it.

"Ten says Rachel blows them all out of the water."

"Ain't no one stupid enough to take that bet." Mercedes rolled her eyes at Mike. They should all know by now that if Rachel put her mind to something, she was going to succeed.

"Bartender! Another shot!" Rachel yelled dramatically to the man hovering behind them. She turned towards Quinn and grinned, evilly.

"Rachel!" She squeaked in surprise as Rachel grabbed her by the back of the thighs and lifted off the floor, her legs wrapping instinctively around Rachel's waist. Quinn felt Rachel's biceps ripple under her finger as the tiny diva maneuvered her onto the bar and bit back a moan. She knew the smaller woman worked out almost religiously, having hit the gym together in California more than a few times, but she was still blown away, and more than a little turned on, by her show of strength.

"Hush. My turn." Rachel growled, licking her lips. Quinn groaned at the flash of pink that slid from between Rachel's lips, only looking away when Brittany stepped beside them, smiling at each of them in turn.

"Santana loves when I pick her up like that and press her against the wall as we…"

"Baby, remember we keep sexy time details to ourselves." Santana purred next to her girlfriend.

"I'm going to the bathroom before I have to find out if it is physically possible to bleach my brain!" Kurt huffed as he spun around on his expensive heels and headed away from their group. Rachel chuckled as she watched him give the perfect diva storm out before turning to look at Santana.

The Latina woman bit back a curse at the devious look in her eyes. Fuck, she should have known better than to challenge Rachel, especially after that morning. She knew she was in trouble when Rachel leaned forward, letting her lips graze Santana's ear as she whispered, "Remember, payback is a bitch, dear." Santana shivered as Rachel slid her fingers over her collarbone, over the swell of her breast, slowly trailing down the valley between them.

Rachel would probably never forgive herself for what she was about to do, especially in front of Quinn –and well, a good portion of their classmates, but she was just drunk enough that she shrugged the notion off. She was in the mood to completely fuck with Santana's head and she knew making her feel… things… about her of all people, would do just that. Rachel smirked as she leaned back and to place a shot between Santana's ample cleavage, letting her fingers linger. "God bless your doctor, he did a beautiful job."

Rachel could see Santana swallow hard as she tried to give her a hard look and utterly failed. The other brunette finally allowed the corners of her mouth to curl up as she nodded her head in acknowledgement. "Berry."

Rachel knew it was as close to a thank you as she'd ever get for the semi-compliment but she didn't care. She turned back towards the blonde sitting on top of the bar and licked her lips. Quinn was a vision, her styled hair even more wild, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the club and the liquor she'd already consumed, and more than likely a healthy dose of lust. She'd lost her jacket some time between the time they entered the club and now and her sexily toned arms were beautifully on display, as was a good portion of her bra as the shirt was cut low on the sides. Rachel slid between Quinn's legs and ran her hands over her forearms, grinning in pure delight. She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, pushing Quinn spin and lay down on top of the bar. "Fuck, you are so sexy." She whispered to herself as she took a minute to appreciate the visual of the blonde stretched out, her short skirt flaring around her hips.

Quinn looked up at the brunette, unable to, and unwilling to, hide her desire. She wanted Rae. Her skin felt like it had caught fire as she felt Rachel's hands slide up her stomach, dragging her shirt with her, stopping right beneath Quinn's breast. She tried to catch her breath as Rachel's fingers danced along her abs. She couldn't help but feel the pent up desire flare to life, threatening to incinerate her where she lay. If a small touch did this much to her, sleeping with Rae just might kill her. She groaned as the little dynamo smirked down at her before she swiveled on her heel to eye Brittany. Quinn watched as Rachel nodded to herself and moved Brittany closer to the bar near Quinn's head before pulled Santana over by her belt loops to stand near Quinn's hips.

Rachel climbed up onto the bar, straddling her, their own gasp drowned out by the collective groan from everyone in their group. The heat from beneath her singed Rachel's core and she bit back the urge to roll her hips forward, panting at the exertion to hold her hips in place. Rachel looked down into green eyes and knew her own reflected the intense desire she saw there. She was sure this was a mistake, but she couldn't stop now if she wanted to. And she really, really didn't want to.

A slight movement on the other side of the bar finally broke her eyes from Quinn, remembering the second shot she'd requested. The bartender held it out, staring stupidly at Rachel. Rachel shrugged. It probably wasn't every day a famous half naked woman straddled another equally famous half naked woman, surrounded by more famous half naked women, in front of him on the bar. She smiled with pleasure as she passed the shot over to Santana who stood by her hips. "Hold this until I reach for it?"

Santana nodded stupidly. Rachel hadn't even done anything yet and Santana knew that everyone in the immediate area was already captivated, and most likely turned on, by the scene. As it was, she was already counting down the seconds until she could drag Britt away.

The group watched unblinking as Rachel lazily trailed her fingers over Quinn's exposed skin. No one moved or batted an eye as they heard the blonde whimper, each and every one of them wanting to whimper in return. "So hot." Puck sighed behind them and everyone in the group nodded in agreement. It didn't matter that half of them were straight, the sight of Rachel, dressed in a way she never dressed in high school with a low cut top and skin-tight jeans, straddling her ex-arch-nemesis, was something they all could agree was beyond sexy.

Mercedes leaned into Sam, glad to know they at least had a hotel room they could go back to. She was sure that no one would want to be at Rachel's house tonight, because with the looks that was passing between her friends as Quinn's hands settled on Rachel's hips, even a blind person would be able to see something going to be happening between them tonight.

Rachel was in her own little world, forgetting they were all on display –not only to their friends, but to the entire bar. She smiled as she took a slice of lime and placed it between Brittany's lips, another she placed between Quinn's, and she settled a third between her own as lowered her body between Quinn's legs. She smiled around the tart fruit at the "Oh, god!" that came from the woman beneath her as Rachel slowly began to drag the slice of lime over Quinn's toned stomach. She let her lips drag along the quivering skin as she went, sliding her body up slowly up the length of the Quinn's as she went. Rachel painted juice across her delicious abs before moving to the valley between her breast, and up her collarbone. As she reached for the salt about Quinn's head, she deliberately pressed her breast against Quinn's, loving the moan that ripped from the woman's throat. Two fully blown green eyes locked with hers as she moved back down, lightly sprinkling the skin of Quinn's stomach and chest with salt before sitting back on her haunches between Quinn's bent legs.

She couldn't help but smirk before reaching out blindly and pulling Santana to her by the scruff of her neck. She heard the woman gasp as Rachel pressed the lime that was between her lips into the darker woman's mouth, being sure to flick her tongue against the soft lips as she pulled back. She lifted an eyebrow as the woman stumbled in place when she was let go. Rachel didn't give her a chance to respond as she slowly lowered her head to Quinn's chest, dragging her tongue over the warm, slightly bitter and salty skin. She knew every eye around them was on her was she leaned towards Santana, grinning into her skin as she dragged her lips over woman's collarbone, sucking hard enough to leave a light mark, before moving down the heaving swell of her breast. She looked up at Santana, making sure the woman was watching her every move as she returned the favor the brunette had bestowed on her. She eagerly lapped at the Latina's breast, being sure to slide her tongue under the edge of her exposed bra, before sliding her lips around the shot glass. Rachel leaned back, downing the shot before dropping the glass into her hand, turning to suck the lime from Brittany's mouth provocatively. She wasn't surprised in the least when Brittany's lips held onto her own, kissing her around the wedge of lime.

Quinn was a trembling mess by the time Rachel had finished with her first shot, and she knew there was one to go. She was sweating with the effort it was taking not to buck up into Rachel's heat, she knew her designer panties were ruined, and probably the tights she was wearing as well she was so turned on, so wet. She was beginning to feel like Finn and wondered if chanting mailman would make it any easier. God knew she didn't want an embarrassing repeat of Christmas. _Why does she have to be so damn hot?_ She knew it was beyond time for Rachel and her to move things to the next level and she'd be damned if it didn't happen tonight. She wasn't sure how much longer she could be around Rachel and not jump her.

"Oh fuck." All thoughts drained from Quinn's head, her big brain finally shutting off as her world dissolved into the feelings created by the two warm lips that slid sensuously over her stomach, nipping lightly at her hip, swirling around her navel. She panted with need, wanting nothing more to beg Rachel to move a few inches lower. Quinn vaguely wondered if Rachel could smell what she was doing to her, but as she felt cool liquid filling her navel and spilling down her sides she didn't care. It was her fault after all.

Rachel expertly sucked the liquid from Quinn's belly, licking the trails of alcohol that rolled down Quinn's sides and down her taunt stomach, loving the way each muscle quivered under her tongue as she slid it under the edge of Quinn's skirt. She smiled against the skin, able to smell the unmistakable fragrance of Quinn's arousal, even as the alcohol burned her throat. She couldn't stop the shiver that worked its way through her body as she thought of moving where every cell in her body was begging her to be. Rachel shook her head, stopping her downward descent before things grew even more dangerous than this game had become. Instead, she slowly kissed her way up Quinn's body, being sure to nip at her hip, flick her tongue over the top of her breast, and kiss her way up the column of her neck. Her lips travelled up Quinn's jaw before leaning in to pull the lime into her mouth.

She'd finally snapped Quinn's control.

Rachel moaned in approval as Quinn turned her head to spit out the lime as she grabbed the back of her neck. Quinn's lips felt like fire beneath her own as she was pulled her into a heated lip lock. The world disappeared as she felt the heat beneath her hips, the fire burning down her throat and through her veins, her tongue being sucked into an inferno.

Quinn ran one hand through Rachel's long, dark locks, pulling her closer with her other. She was completely intoxicated, equal parts alcohol and desire pumping through her veins. It felt like she was floating away, only to be jarred harshly back to reality by the sound of loud cheers and wolf whistles. Quinn looked from Rachel's lust blown eyes to the crowd around them and blushed. Apparently, they had attracted more than a few admirers during Rachel's performance.

"I will never be able to look at you the same way again." Santana whispered loudly into Rachel's ear as she helped her down from the bar.

"Me either." Tina laughed as she held her hand out to help Quinn jump from the bar onto unsteady legs. "That was almost enough to make me want to try batting for the other team and I'm fully hetro!"

Rachel's eyes locked onto Quinn's and they both rocked on their heels, forcing themselves not to lunge in one another's direction. It was only the sound of a throat being cleared behind them that made tear their eyes away from one another.

"Ladies, I think it's safe to say you and your friend's drinks have been covered for the rest of the evening." They all turned and looked at the bartender in surprise. The man shrugged and lifted up his hand to indicate the crowd around them.

"Apparently, more than a few people appreciated the show your group put on and have offered to cover your drinks. Enjoy!" He said as he set a tray of shots on the counter before them. The group looked at each other and shrugged, reaching for a glass. Really, who was going to turn down a night of drinking and dancing, on the house? And after the display their former Captain had put on, they were all in need of a drink.

Quinn threw back the shot, hoping the drink would help cool down her raging libido, when all she wanted to do was drag Rachel out of the club. She knew they needed to slow down, both on the alcohol and on each other. One look at each other and the women silently agreed to keep their distance, both knowing it was the last thing either of them wanted to do.

They were coerced into another few rounds, each group member toasting each other for various reasons, Quinn lost track some time after someone toasted Artie's new gloves. After a few more rounds of shots, Brittany dragged their group to the dance floor to dance together under the colorful, flashing lights. It felt like being back in high school again, only without all the drama and chasing after boys.

"God, we should have done this a long time ago!" Quinn grinned as she danced closer to Rachel, unable to ignore the pull the smaller woman had on her. At this point, she was knew she was fully drunk and didn't care that they should be careful. All her fuzzy brain knew was that she wanted Rachel and needed to be near her. Quinn smiled as Rachel instinctively laid her hands on Quinn's hips, matching her tempo and beat with her own body as she nodded happily in agreement. The longer the songs went on, the closer the two women began to dance. Slowly, Quinn trailed her hands up Rachel's arms and threaded them around her neck to play with her hair, loving how they were pressed together hip to sternum.

"Hey! We're gonna go get some more drinks. The two of you coming?" Britt asked as she appeared next to them, smiling. Quinn looked down at Rachel in question and swallowed hard at the fire she found in her eyes.

"Not yet." Rachel answered, keeping her eyes on Quinn's. She watched Brittany beam at them from the corner of her eye before dancing off through the crowd and couldn't help but pull Quinn closer to her.

* * *

"What the hell is going on between Quinn and Rachel?" Sam asked as they grabbed their drinks.

"That's right. You missed their 'we're dating' surprise kiss at Rachel's birthday party."

"Yeah I did, but believe me, I've heard all about it, from every single person there. Still, that-" Sam pointed towards the dance floor where Quinn and Rachel were completely wrapped around one another, "looks pretty dang intense."

"I'm pretty sure it's safe to say they are in full on lust with each other." Mercedes laughed as they tried to find a table near the dance floor. One quickly opened up as Santana, Brittany, and Kurt glared the previous occupants into submission.

"No, they're completely in love with each other." Kurt smiled.

"They have been since high school." The group looked over at Brittany like she'd lost her mind but the blonde shrugged. She was used to it. Plus, she knew she was right. "They have." She stated, confidently.

"I guess I can see that." Tina agreed. "There's a fine line between love and hate. They were always so intense when they were around each other. Quinn did anything she could to get under Rachel's skin. And Rachel was chasing Quinn almost as much as she would run after Finn." The rest of the group bobbed their heads in general agreement.

"Look at them." Santana pointed at the couple on the dance floor. Quinn had spun around and was grinding her ass into Rachel's center as the brunette kept pace with her hips. "Those two were kind of made for each other." Santana admitted out loud, then looked down to her drink as if it was the reason the words sounded sweet instead of damning as she intended. A happy sigh from her wife brought her eyes back towards the dance floor. As their group watched, helpless or just plain unwilling to turn away, Quinn straightened until her back pressed hard against Rachel's front. The brunette's heels putting them at almost the same height allowed her to lean her head back against Rachel's shoulder, reaching up to thread her fingers through dark locks, encouraging Rachel's wandering mouth. They could all see Rachel's lips drop to the welcoming length of Quinn's neck

"Should we like… stop them?" Mike asked as he pulled his girl onto his lap.

"Are you fuckin' insane? This is like free porn!" Puck scoffed before being smacked by every woman around him. "Jeez, I'm just saying. Don't pretend every single one of you haven't been enjoying the show."

No one denied the obvious truth as they continued to watched Rachel's face become more flushed. Even from a distance it was obvious her breath was coming in short pants. "I wonder if Quinn has any idea what she is doing to Rachel right now?" Mercedes chuckled, unable to tear her eyes from her friends.

Quinn's free hand slid behind her as she grabbed Rachel's ass, pulling her closer as she bent and purposefully ground harder into the body behind her.

"Oh, that lil vixen knows exactly what she's doing. If she ain't careful, she's going to…" Sam's voice trailed off as they watched Rachel thrust against Quinn's ass, her head dropping to the taller woman's shoulder. Quinn spun in Rachel's arms, changing their position. She draped Rachel's hands over her shoulder as she pulled her closer by her hips, sliding her knee between Rachel's. The group could see Rachel groan, even if they couldn't hear it over the loud music.

"I think it's time we broke them up." Kurt voiced again from where he had his head buried between his boyfriend's shoulder blades.

"No." The group said in stereo.

"But… she's like my sister!"

"Then don't watch." Santana said sternly, her eyes never leaving the dance floor.

"My girl is getting hot, watching two other girls get it on. This is so hot."

"Speaking of hot," Puck pointed to the dance floor, "Did she just…" The group watched as Rachel began to tremble subtly, pulling Quinn impossibly closer. Rachel looked like she was hanging onto Quinn for dear life and they were all sure if the taller woman moved, Rachel wouldn't have been able to support her own weight.

"Oh hell yeah she did. God, that must have been good. Do you see those after shocks?" Artie shook his head.

"Hell, after that I need cigarette after that and I've never smoked a day in my life!" Mercedes agreed, smiling as her boyfriend shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"This is going to be a PR nightmare." Tina groaned, letting her head drunkenly fall to the table.

"San, I need hot lady kisses." Santana's eyes snapped to her girlfriends then back to the dance floor.

"In a minute, Britt-Britt."

* * *

Rachel had watched their friends leave the dance floor in a daze. She had never felt so completely aroused in her entire life. Coming to the club after this morning probably wasn't a good idea, no matter how their friends had begged and guilted them into it. She was already worked up before the body shots and the drinking and dancing hadn't helped at all. All it took as one look from Quinn and her body was a smoldering inferno. Each touch of Quinn's hands and body stoked the fires even higher. She knew her inhibitions were down due to the alcohol, but she couldn't find the will power to step away from the intoxicating woman grinding into her. Rachel groaned as Quinn pressed her body against Rachel's painfully hard nipples as she ground down, putting just the right amount of pressure for the inseam of Rachel's jeans, making it rub against her in the best way. Rachel dropped her head to the inviting length of neck and sighed.

"Quinn," she whispered, her lips sliding against sweat dampened skin as she spoke, "you have to stop."

Quinn's breath whispered against Rachel's ear as she lifted her hand, raking it against Rachel's scalp. "Why?" She asked breathlessly, feeling Rachel's body responded to the stimulation, her hands tightening on her hips, Rachel's skin erupting with goose bumps.

Rachel fought to for her brain to answer the question when all she wanted to do was give in to the sensations that Quinn was causing. She was painfully aroused, positively soaked, and wanted nothing more that the woman in front of her to continue what she was doing so perfectly. "You –oh god, Quinn. Please." She moaned. As Quinn tilted her hips, hitting her just right., she was no longer sure if she was begging her to stop or never, ever stop.

She tried to kick start her brain, tried to remember why they had to stop. "Drinking. We've been drinking. In public. And –oh fuck. W-we should stop." She said with no conviction at all, unable to stop her hips from canting forwards, pressing deliciously against Quinn's firm ass. "Q-Quinn, you have to stop."

Quinn spun and pulled Rachel in closer, using her hands on Rachel's hips to guide her hard and fast against her thigh. She could feel the heat and wetness seeping through Rachel's jeans and it made her want the smaller woman even more. "Do you really want me to stop? Just nod and I will. I promise you." Quinn said as she thrust her leg forward again, leaning closer to Rachel's ear. "Because I'm in love with you. But right now, I really, really want to make you cum. Right here. Right now. In front of everyone. Where no one else knows but everyone can see. Can you do that for me?" Quinn bit Rachel's earlobe and was rewarded by a long moan and a jerky nod. A few more thrust and Quinn turned her head again, kissing Rachel's thundering pulse point. "Good. Now cum for me."

Rachel bit down on Quinn's shoulder as she did just that. Her heart beat thundered in her ears, her breath frozen in her lungs, Rachel's world exploded, leaving only the blonde holding her and the feeling of floating beyond her skin, her bones melting as pleasure beyond her wildest dreams shot through her body. Her thoughts were muddied as feeling finally returned to her lower extremities. As her eyes slowly fluttered open she knew she had never saw anything sexier. Quinn's hazel eyes had darkened to the forest green, her golden skin was flushed pink and held a light sheen, making her look like she was sparkling in the multicolored lights that flashed around them. Her eyes flicked down to soft inviting lips before looking up again and couldn't bring herself to feel an ounce of remorse for what had just happened.

Rachel was thrown off balance as someone bumped into them, the jarring motion enough to break their trance and push them into action. She needed Quinn, she need to touch her, taste her, as soon as possible. She grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled them from the dance floor.

"Okay, as much as I hate to say this, we really should stop them." Mercedes sighed as she watched her friend being dragged off the dance floor by a determined, if slightly wobbly, smaller woman.

"It's about time!" Kurt yelled, jumping from behind Blaine.

"Dude! What the fuck!" The group turned to see Puck snatching a smaller man up by the scruff of his neck. "You did NOT just tape my baby mama and her Jew dancing!"

"You call that dancing? Cause I'm pretty sure that was full on fuc-" The man was stopped by Puck's fist. Santana was the first one to reach him and forcefully pulled Puck away as the loud mouth man dropped to the ground, holding his bleeding nose.

"Fuck! Man, really?! Look around! You think I was the only one who saw that? Who recorded it? What are you going to do? Smash in everyone's face here? Because I guarantee that there is video from every angle of this club!"

"Listen, you freakin' imbecile! I would suggest shuttin' up before we let him go and he does worse damage." Santana looked back at Tina with a smirk. She'd really grown up from the stuttering outcast she'd been when they had started school. She could almost respect that.

"Whatever. You all are insane."

"This is so not good." Tina groaned as the implications of what the man had said hit her. All of her friends looked at her in sympathy as they nodded. "Someone needs to get them before this gets any worse."

Rachel dragged Quinn passed the short line of women waiting for the bathroom stalls with a quick, "Sorry, she's going to be sick," sliding into the first available stall.

The need to touch Quinn was stronger than her need to breath, to think, to do anything but feel the woman she was head over heels in love with. As soon as the door closed behind them, she slammed the taller woman against it. Quinn moaned as she felt Rachel's tongue circle her own and pulled the woman closer. Their kiss was hard, sloppy, and filled with teeth and lips and passion. Quinn groaned as she felt Rachel's nails rake against the back of her thighs, and pulled at Rachel's shirt, needing to feel Rachel's skin against her own, her weight pressing against her where she need her most. Rachel pulled back as she felt Quinn grind against her and slid her hand beneath Quinn's skirt, silently bemoaning the tights Quinn was wearing.

"I'll buy you more." She growled as her fingers ripped through the thin material, sliding passed Quinn's soak panties.

"Please, oh god, please, Rae." Quinn pleaded as her head fell to Rachel's shoulder, vertigo seizing her body. Everything was swaying, swirling, and felt so amazing that she never wanted it to stop. Quinn moaned into Rachel's neck as two fingers slid into her, her hips bucking to meet the touch. There was nothing soft or sweet about it, but it was just what she needed. Quinn raised her foot, propping it on the toilet paper holder behind them, briefly wondering what the hell they were doing, but the thought lasted only a second as Rachel's fingers curled into her, hitting the perfect spot. "Oh fuck, yes."

Rachel licked her way up Quinn's neck, sucking on her thundering pulse as she slammed her fingers into Quinn, adding the thrust of her hips with each thrust. The long moan she was reward with made her smile against Quinn's skin.

"Oh my god, are you two fuckin' serious right now?!" A very familiar voice yelled from the other side of the door before a very enraged Latina banged on the door. Each thump made Quinn's body bounce, allowing Rachel's palm to hit Quinn's clit just right and the blonde bit her lip to contain her moan. "Could you two stop fuckin' for a damn second and get your asses out here?"

Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist, silently begging her not to stop. She was so close, so very close and Rachel felt so deliciously good inside her. Rachel fingers slid hard and fast inside her in response. There was no way they were going to let Santana stop them again.

"Puck is about to go to jail for defending you two, so could you at least hurry it the fuck up?" Santana yelled, kicking the door for good measure, gritting her teeth at the answering moan from the other side of the door. Great, just what she needed, to help her best friends get off when she'd been the one sent to save their asses. She couldn't believe the two of them, of all fuckin' people, were fuckin' in the bathroom of a very crowded club. She sighed in relief when the two women finally opened the door and glared at both of them.

"Wash your fuckin' hands, Berry." She growled as she watched Rachel raise a perfectly arched eyebrow and lift her fingers to her mouth. Santana rolled her eyes as she turned towards the door; she couldn't let the two women behind her see her smile. She was sure she was going to be scarred for life by this night, but damn if she wasn't just a little bit proud of both of them. Seriously, who knew the former-President of the Celibacy club, Captain of the God Squad, and oh-so-perfect-Rachel-Berry had it in them to be a little wild and crazy? All it took was a massive amounts of sexual deprivation and lots and lots of alcohol.

* * *

**Super long, "my-pain-meds-just-kicked in" authors note:**

**Soooo... This chapter was all over the place, jumping from one point of view to another, and while that was on purpose, I hope you were able to stick with it ok. I wanted the reader as well as the characters to all feel a little uncomfortable, frustrated and a bit angry, right along with our characters. I do hope a few of you at least liked Drunk-and-horny!Rachel and !Quinn a bit. Personal, after the day (month/year/years) these two have had, I'd be giving Rachel high fives left, right, and center. **

**And I know a lot of you are pissed. Some more than others. Their uh... romp... on the dance floor wasn't the wholesome, soft, sweet, passionate lovemakin' I'm sure you were all hoping for... but you'll find out the reasons why their their loving' was a little more on the trashy, hot, rough, out of character, side... very soon. I promise Drunk!Rachel and Drunk!Quinn wont be making regular appearances together but I think we'll be seeing their alter egos Hungover!Rachel and WTF!Quinn when we next come together and you all are FINALLY getting your wish. We'll be heading back to LA. Finally. Let me know how it went? Should someone finally punch Santana for well... being Santana? Honestly, ****Santana and most of the Glee crew aren't sticking around so don't worry. They've served their purpose -to get in the way and generally annoy everyone. ****Any other suggestions? Throw them my way and let's see what we can do with them.**


	22. Valleys and Peaks

**I was so happy that I got to spend most of my spring break writing. I was able to get this chapter and most of the next two almost complete… and then my computer decided to eat this story, as well as a huge chunk of my semester-long research paper, and a few other files. I was lucky everything else was backed up, but it put me behind in class and sadly that was a priority over QQF. That being said, I apologize for the agonizingly long wait. On a good note, you all probably ended with a (much) better version of this chapter.**

**For those of you who felt robbed by the last chapter, this one should more than make up for it. That being said, this chapter _is_ Rated: M for a very, very good reason and as such it should be a given that it is NSFW. You've been warned. Of course first our two lovelies have to deal with waking up with a massive hangover ;)**

* * *

Rachel woke up feeling worse than she could ever remember feeling in her entire life. And that was including the month her first year on Broadway where she contracted mono from her leading man and her spleen had almost ruptured. She slowly took stock of her body -every muscle ached and she knew she was horribly dehydrated, which explained why her skin felt too tight. Her throat burned like the one time she'd stupidly agreed to try to smoke a cigarette. She was horrified to find she could barely swallow and tried not to panic at the fear her voice was gone. Rachel was surprised her pounding head hadn't woke the entire building it was so loud; and she felt like a rock had been placed on top of her chest, making it difficult to breath, though it brought with it a pleasant warmth with it.

In her hazy, half conscious state she still knew what was causing most of her aches and pains, having experienced more than her share of hangovers in her life. She laid still on the bed, terrified to what she would be confronted with the moment she opened her eyes, trying desperately to piece together what happened the night before. All she knew is every inch of her body hurt. Flashes of Glee members, much older than they were the first time they decided to all drink together. She remembered bright lights, dancing, shots... shots. She remembered being well on her way to being drunk when someone suggested body shots. She vaguely recalled straddling a certain blonde on what she was pretty sure was a bar top.

Rachel's eyes flew open in realization. Her head instantly screamed out in pain and she was hit with a strong case of vertigo as she slid from under... Rachel's eyes flew down the length of her body to the one sprawled out beside her. "Oh my god." Rachel held her head in her hands as she accessed the situation through a screaming migraine, not that anything flying through her head was easing the need to scream at the moment.

"Stop."

Rachel's eyes shot to the woman lying naked beside her and swallowed against the bile that was steadily climbing up her throat. "Qu-Quinn?"

A blonde head slowly turned but her husky voice still muffled by the pillow her face was still buried in. Rachel was still able to make out the mumbled words. "Expecting someone else?"

"N-no." Rachel whispered, deciding it was both more bearable for head and the situation she'd found herself in. Rachel bit her lip as she willed her aching brain to work. She'd never had this happen before. Yes, at twenty-six years old she had been drunk before, and even suffered through more than a few hangovers. And it wasn't that she necessarily was opposed to waking up next to Quinn naked and sore from an obvious night of passion. In fact, that thought actually thrilled her to no end. What she _was_ opposed to was not being able to recall a single moment of it. She had definitely experienced this pain before, but in the past she could remember, even if the night was nothing more pleasant blur. Last night? Last night was a blank. Her eyes burned as they traveled around her room, both from the pain of being dried out and with the need to cry. There was not a single thing out of place, not even the clothes they were obviously lacking; there was no sign, no clue to indicate what happened. _How could I not remember our first night together? _

Rachel jumped as an arm was flopped against her lap and a mess of blonde hair snuggled into her thigh. "I said stop."

Rachel's eyes moved away from the woman next to her, biting back the sudden flood of arousal. "Stop what?" Rachel rolled her eyes internally at the way her voice cracked.

Quinn turned her head until her cheek was flush with Rachel thigh, still refusing to open her eyes as she growled, "Thinking. I can feel it and it's making my head throb."

"I'm sorry that my brain functions are causing you injury." This time Rachel did roll her eyes and immediately regretted the action. Still, she sat quietly and tried to just be. It was obvious that Quinn wasn't ready to wake up. She almost envied her. If she were still unconscious, she wouldn't be faced with the fact that they were naked, probably still drunk, and with little to no recollection of what had occurred the night before. Rachel only hoped that when Quinn was more coherent, she'd have more answers than Rachel herself was able to come up with at the moment -like what exactly happened? Rachel worried her lip and looked down again at the woman next to her, debating how she would react if she broke the silence. She felt obliged to let her love sleep it off but she was anxious to know what, if anything, Quinn remembered from their night together. Part of her almost hoped that Quinn's mind was blurry as her own. Was there such a thing as a first-time do over? She shifted gently under Quinn's implied embrace and tried not to sigh.

Quinn tightened her hold on Rachel's legs and sighed heavily. "What Rachel?" She growled out, a bit harsher than she meant to, but she just wanted to sleep the heavy pounding in her head away.

"I... I didn't say anything?"

"I feel like shit, I have a hangover from hell, and you won't stop fidgeting. So please, just spit it out already so I can try convince you to lay back down with me instead of doing... whatever you're doing right now." Quinn counted her throbbing pulse, as she felt Rachel's eyes on her skin and felt the woman shift again. Quinn bit back a growl, and the urge to bite the hip that was somewhere near her nose. Quinn sighed and rolled onto her back. "For the love of... what, Rae? What?"

The bed shifted as Rachel took a deep breath. "We're naked."

Quinn cracked an eye open, letting the single orb travel across the body next to her, the corners of her mouth curling up. Even though her mouth felt like she'd tried to swallow the Sahara, and her body felt like elephants had trampled it, the sight before her made her intoxicated brain swim. She snorted as Rachel flushed under her stare.

"Your power of observation in your clearly hung-over state is nothing short of astounding."

Quinn's quip did its job and Rachel smiled a bit. "Who would have thought you would be the loquacious one when in this state?"

"What can I say? You're rubbing off on me." Quinn groaned as she pushed herself up on her elbows. "What the hell did we drink last night?"

"When it comes to the circumstances that have led us to be in this state of undress in the same bed, I believe my powers of observation are completely useless." Rachel sighed. Quinn raised her eyebrow at the statement, silently questioning Rachel both Rachel's statement that _she_ was the garrulous one and the meaning of her words. Rachel smiled a little and gave a half shrug. "Last night is pretty much a blur. And although I may still be somewhat under the influence of alcohol, or at the very least suffering the effects of overindulging in it, I never said I wasn't able to speak eloquently while in such a state. And on that note, I am sure that it was more the _amount_ of spirits that we consumed rather than exactly _what_ it was that we consumed that is causing our issues this morning."

Quinn nodded with a smirk. Leave it to Rachel to use fifty words when ten would do. "You're probably right."

"Why are you not more concerned?"

"I'm sure once my brain starts functioning properly, I'm going to be a fuckin' mess, but at the moment, I'm just happy that it was you I woke up next to naked." Quinn sighed as she looked over at Rachel. "I apparently have a habit of following people with the same complexion as you into bed after a night of drinking." Quinn's stomach rolled as she thought about two other Glee members that met that description she'd woke up next to in such a state. As much as she cared for Puck and Santana, Rachel was definitely a step up. Quinn cringed as Rachel pushed herself away from the bed and made it across her room to throw open the doors to her closet.

"My initial feelings of flattery have somehow all but vanished."

Quinn groaned as she replayed the words in her head and quickly realized how horrible they sounded. She slowly sat up and draped her legs over the side of the bed, facing away from Rachel. It's not like she cared that her body was on display -it was obvious from the moment she woke up what had happened between them last night, even if some of the details were still a bit fuzzy. She hadn't mean to sound so indifferent but her head was throbbing and she was so pissed.

"Fuck, Rachel, I didn't mean it like that, okay?" Quinn growled at the woman storming unsteadily around the room, making Quinn dizzier with each pass. She wasn't mad at Rachel, god, how could she be? She was mad at herself... for so many reasons. "My brain isn't working at the moment so forgive me if I happen to revert to my snarky, high school self. This will sound so much like her, but I don't care at the moment. I swear to god if you don't stop pacing..." She took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down. "You're going to make me sick." Quinn grabbed her hair with both hands and fought back her tears and the need to vomit. She couldn't believe she had been stupid enough to fall back into old habits. Especially when it came to someone she truly loved.

"Rachel." Quinn squeezed her eyes shut, knowing how broken she sounded as she ran her hands through her hair. "How bad did we screw up?"

Rachel wanted to be pissed, but the hopelessness that filled Quinn's voice cut her to the core. She stopped in front of her mirror and stared, her breath caught in her throat as her reflection stared back at her. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Her hair looked like a small animal had used it to build a home. Those things were easily explainable. The trail of love bites freckled her chest and stomach were things she didn't have explanations for that she wanted to face. Though the answering marks she could see on Quinn, long pink scratches marring the canvas of her back, told her the rest of the story she knew she couldn't run from. She grabbed the edge of her dresser and waited for the dizziness to pass. She gave a shrug she knew Quinn couldn't see as she squeezed her eyes shut in misery.

"I think it's safe to say neither of us do anything halfway."

When Quinn's mirthless laugh faded to a groan Rachel spun to find Quinn holding one hand to her mouth and another to her stomach. "Quinn?"

"I just..." Quinn's stomached rolled as her brain slowly began to piece together moments from the night before, each one more horrifying than the one before, each one bringing another wave of nausea. "I'm going to be sick."

She was honest when she told Rachel that once her brain started processing everything she'd freak out and Quinn's brain was feeding her image after image, in haunting detail, of the last time she had hurt like this, inside and out, as she heaved into the toilet. It was the day after she'd returned from the hospital. The day after she'd handed her daughter to a perfect stranger, entrusting her to raise her child, not knowing what would ever happen to her. She'd vomited that day as well, more from the emotions raging inside of her than the alcohol she'd stupidly consumed, much like today.

She recalled every hazy moment from the night before as she felt Rachel settle next to her, running a soothing hand up and down her naked back. She remembered every mistake she'd made as Rachel cooed soft words to her. Quinn could recollect very moment that she could have saved Rachel from herself, even as Rachel fetched her a cloth for her face. Every stupid, out of character, idiotic, painful detail was there in vivid detail. It should have been slow and beautiful. It should have been as special and amazing as Rachel was. It should have...

"No." She gasped between heaves, pushing Rachel away from her. "No."

"Quinn, stop fighting me. I'm just trying to help." Rachel sighed as she attempted to sooth the woman next to her. She was sure that Quinn wasn't even aware of the tears streaming down her face as she denied any touch from Rachel, a steady mantra of no's escaping between her dry heaves and sobs.

"Just... just go away. I don-I don't d-deser-ve... I don't deserve you." Quinn's sobs broke Rachel's heart. She pushed aside her own pain, and Quinn's quest to push her away, and pulled the crying woman into her arms.

Quinn tried to keep fighting. If she pushed hard enough, Rachel would leave. If she said the right words, Rachel would realize how wrong they were for each other. Yet, Quinn's body refused to cooperate; refused to move away from the comfort that Rachel had always so willingly offered. Her throat was raw and hoarse as she fought her tears to say the right words, the ones to make Rachel run. She fought, and lost, finally collapsing against Rachel's shoulder. Rachel sighed and pulled the taller woman closer to her, feeling the tears running down her neck and across her chest, feeling more helpless than she could ever remember feeling. She couldn't find the words to make Quinn feel better, so she just hung on, refusing to let go. If she had her way, she'd never let go.

"We fucked up so bad, Rae. So bad." Quinn's raw, whispered words struck Rachel almost as hard as she once had physically. "What was I thinking? What were _we_ thinking? "

Rachel took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I don't know, Quinn. I don't have any answers."

"I wanted things to be different with you. I wanted it to be special."

Rachel sighed as she ran her hand up and down Quinn's soft back. "It is different."

Quinn struggled to pull back from Rachel's encircled arms; her brows furrowed as she stared at Rachel, incomprehension filling her gaze. "How, Rachel? Tell me how last night was different? How was _that_ special? What we did... what happened between us was cheap, and dirty, and anything _but _special. We jumped each other last night! That's been my MO for... well... ever." Rachel let Quinn slide off her lap, sliding onto the cold tile in front of Rachel when she grabbed her hands and pulled her back. "Can't you understand I didn't want that with you!"

Rachel nodded and looked down, prying Quinn's clinched fist apart before she wove their fingers together. "I do understand, Quinn. I do. Yes, last night was probably one of the worst choices either of us have made since high school. And no, it's not how either of us imagined it happening. I just have one question, and I need you to answer me honestly, Quinn." She waited until Quinn's eyes found her own before she whispered, "Do you love me?"

Quinn's eyes narrowed with rage, her voice dropping even lower as she fought to pull her hands away. "How could you even ask me that?"

"Quinn, _mon chaton_, please, just humor me." Rachel watched the blonde soften at the soft-spoken term of endearment. She held Quinn's gaze as the woman searched her face and waited until Quinn found what she was looking for before she received a nod in response, not that she had expected any differently. She knew Quinn loved her; her response to what happened was proof enough of that. She smiled slightly, rubbing her thumb over Quinn's knuckles. "And you know I love you too right?" She waited until Quinn's eyes fell away from hers and the woman nodded again, looking much younger for the action than she was.

"_Tha_t is what makes it different. Yes, last night was not optimal. It was completely out of character for the people we both are at this point in our lives. But it doesn't define our relationship, Quinn. It doesn't define us. We lost control when we shouldn't have. We made a mistake, but I want you to listen to me right now. I want you to really hear what I'm about to tell you." Quinn took that moment to finally bring her eyes back up, unable to keep the uncertainty out of her glance. "Quinn, even if I can't remember all the details, I _know_ I don't regret a moment of it, because it happened with you."

Quinn sighed, hoping that Rachel would feel the same when everything was said and done. "You know there's going to be backlash, right? There is no way what happened last night wasn't splashed across every social media network moments after it occurred."

Rachel took a deep breath. It wasn't something that she had considered, but given that whatever had occurred had at least began in public, there was more than a good possibility Quinn was correct. Rachel sighed as she admitted, "I have a feeling you have a better recollection of last night's events than I do."

Quinn cringed. She hasn't even thought about the fact that Rachel might not remember, though when she recalled the amount of alcohol they'd both consumed, it wasn't really all that surprising. Still, she could only hope. Even as bad as last night had been in timing and execution, it was still their first real time together, and the fact that Rachel couldn't remember it… it hurt.

Quinn looked down at their naked bodies, feeling more than a little dirty. She felt gross from dancing followed by copious amounts of drunken sex; parts of her were still sticky with sweat, remnants of body shots, not to mention other bodily fluids. It was just another horrible reminder of a horrible mistake that she was sure would ruin things between her and Rachel before they ever had a chance to really begin.

"Rae? I'm… I know you have questions and if you really need me to, if you want me to, I… I'll tell you anything, everything. I just… I need some time, and a shower. And possibly food."

Rachel looked down as if noticing for the first time that they were both still nude and blushed. "I... right, okay. Well… I… umm." She felt ridiculous. Of course Quinn would want time alone after everything that had happened. Rachel stood up, fighting off the renewed headache that hit her the moment she was fully upright. She didn't want to leave, but that's what Quinn had asked for. "There's new toothbrushes in the drawer, you know where everything else is. Help yourself to whatever else you need. I'll… I'm going to go order us some breakfast."

Quinn did want space, she probably needed it, but she saw the flash of hurt and disappointment in Rachel's eyes before she turned away. She smiled softly, remembering again just how much she loved the woman who had calmed her. Yes, she was still scared, still terrified that Rachel may run, but that just made her want to savor every moment they had together until then even more. She urged her body to find the energy to stand up without falling over and reached out, stopping the brunette before she reached the door.

"Rae, I said I needed time, not space. Breakfast can wait." Rachel looked down at Quinn's outstretched hand and back into her patient eyes and nodded, allowing Quinn to pull her into the shower.

* * *

"This is nice." Rachel sighed as she leaned against Quinn as they snuggled on the couch a while later. The two women had taken a long shower together, using the time to comfort and heal some of the cracks left from the evening before. Rachel had indulged herself in a long hug after they'd wrapped themselves in thick terry cloth robes, silently begging Quinn not to push her away again.

"It is." Quinn agreed as she lifted another grape to Rachel's lips, smiling at the small kiss placed on her fingers as the fruit was sucked away. She ran her pad over the soft skin, and across Rachel's cheek before letting it drop. "I'm kind of surprised you haven't started questioning me yet though."

Rachel shrugged as she snuggled closer, loving the feeling of Quinn's arm draped over her shoulder. "I guess I'm trying to hide from it for as long as I can."

"As much as I love the idea, I think we should talk about it." Quinn dropped her head to the back of the couch. "Okay, this is starting to scare me. I can't believe I just asked to talk and you're the one who is avoiding doing so. You do realize, Berry, that you are a horrible influence?"

Rachel snorted out a laugh as she took the bowl from Quinn and placed in on the side table, intertwining their fingers together as she leaned back, turned to face Quinn on the couch. "I think that is the first time I've ever been accused of being a horrible influence on anyone."

"Well, it's true. I used to be content to run and hide from the hard stuff."

Rachel squeezed Quinn's hand, smiling softly when the blonde's head turned, though she didn't lift it from the back of the couch. She couldn't help but find her absolutely adorable. "Promise me, no matter what, you won't run away." She said softly as she brushed Quinn's hair from her forehead.

"Old habits die hard, Rachel, but I promise to do my best. But I'm going to need you to get through this. I can't face everything alone."

"You never have to worry about being alone again. Not if I have a breath left in my body."

"But will you still say that if this blows up in our faces? If it puts our careers on the line?"

Quinn saw Rachel hesitate for a moment and swallowed around the lump that suddenly filled her throat. "Stop worrying, Quinn. I'm just trying to find a response that won't have you running for the hills. I find that this time, I want to do things right, and I don't want to say something that may scare you off."

Quinn ran her hand along the back of the couch, reaching out to play with Rachel's still damp hair. She was thankful for her short cut that allowed it to dry relatively quickly. Still, she loved Rachel's long, thick locks. "You avoiding the question is scaring me more."

The quiet admission finally broke Rachel from her thoughts and she decided to throw caution to the wind. "Quinn, I know I've left you to make most of the grandiose speeches in our relationship thus far, I would be amiss if I didn't at least to attempt to conciliate you." Rachel took a breath. "I don't want to just placate you, Quinn, that's not what I'm trying to do. I just needed a moment to get my thoughts in order." Quinn nodded and waited. "As you know, I haven't had the best history with relationships. I tend to fall hard and fast and move too quickly and muddle everything up in the process. I choose the wrong person and end up getting hurt."

"I don't want to hurt you, Rae."

"I know you don't. And I honestly don't think you'll ever do anything with the intent to hurt me. But, Quinn, you have the ability to not only hurt me, you have the ability to completely destroy me." Rachel's eyes implored Quinn not to interrupt. She bit her lip and tried to find the words she needed so desperately for Quinn to hear. "I may not have always choose the right people, but I didn't have to choose you. There was no choice when it came to falling in love with you. And I didn't fall instantly, I fell so slowly I didn't even realize how far you had drifted into my heart until you were already buried so deep inside, there was, nor will the ever be, a way to dig you out. At the risk of sounding cliché and trite, you're it for me Quinn. I always felt out lives were intertwined, I've always had this irresistible pull towards you, and now that I've had a taste, a small drop, of what things could be like with you, I can't wait to be completely swept away with it. I need the feeling of your lips on mine more than I need to sing. I need to feel your arms around me more than I need to feel the stage lights beating on my skin. I need to hear your voice more than I need to hear applause."

Quinn's heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest as warmth flooded her chest, threatening to spill over from her eyes. "You live for applause."

Rachel smiled and nodded, a tear of her own slipping down her cheek. "I do. I did. But I would give up all the applause, every standing ovation, every award I've ever won or have yet to win, if it meant that I could spend just one moment having you love me."

"I do." Quinn smiled through her tears. "God help me, but I do, Rachel. I just don't ever want you to regret this."

Rachel leaned forward and caught Quinn's lips between her own, their first kiss since the chaos of waking up together hours earlier. "I could never regret loving you."

Quinn leaned forward and wove her fingers into Rachel's soft hair, pulling her closer as their kiss lengthened. Their breathing became shallow as their passion grew, tongues flickering against one another, hands beginning to roam over thick robes. "I want to show you." Quinn whispered as she pulled away, leaning her forehead against Rachel's, her hand still cupping the back of her neck. "I want to show you all the things you missed last night."

"No." Rachel sighed as she stood. Quinn's heart stopped for a few seconds until Rachel reached out for you. "I want you to show me what last night should have been."

Quinn shook off her hands as she walked into the room behind Rachel. This was really happening. She thought back to the previous morning, the moments before they were interrupted. It had been perfect, and unplanned, and everything a first time should be. And then the day went to hell, from their friends barging in on them to their drunken rendezvous the night before. That thought brought her back to her breakdown in the bathroom earlier that morning. She really did want things to be different with Rachel. She didn't just want a quick fuck like she'd always fell into with people in her life. She didn't want one of them pressed against a dirty bathroom wall. She wanted soft and sweet. She wanted to worship Rachel's amazing body. She wanted to show her with her touch, with her kiss how much she loved her. She wanted to give her everything she never had. She wanted to ruin Rachel for any other person ever. Quinn couldn't help but feel like this moment, more than any other in their relationship thus far, would begin to define their relationship. She'd never in her life felt like this before. It was like she was standing on a precept and any wrong movement could make everything come crashing down around them.

Quinn felt like a fourteen year old boy about to have his first sexual encounter. Her heart was racing. She was anxious, excited, nervous. She tried to inconspicuously wipe her sweaty palms against the soft pile of her terry cloth robe. "Should we –I don't know –start some music or light candles or something?"

Rachel wasn't sure how to even begin. She didn't want it to feel forced. But after all they'd been through, it was impossibly for it not to feel slightly awkward and pressured. But Quinn's comment made her smile and relax some, even if she was still insanely nervous.

"We don't need any of those things to make this special, Quinn." Rachel lifted a shaking hand and brushed the back of her fingers against Quinn's cheek. "It's special because it's you."

Rachel wasn't sure why she was so nervous. They'd technically done this before. But this time was real. This time she was in perfect control of all her facilities. And she was terrified. She chuckled and shook her head. "I'm nervous."

Rachel's confession made Quinn smile, thankful for the much needed tension breaker. "Oh thank god," Quinn laughed, "I'm not the only one." Quinn pulled Rachel closer to her, burying her hands in Rachel's luscious, thick hair. She stared into Rachel's big brown eyes, still smiling, and completely shining with love. The sheer force of it made Quinn's breath catch. "You're beautiful."

Quinn's whispered words were all it took to spur Rachel on. She grabbed the collar of Quinn's robe and pulled her down, pressing her lips to Quinn's as soon as she was hers were in reach. Quinn shivered at the feel of Rachel's mouth on her own as she held onto Rachel's hips, pulling her even closer. She couldn't stop the whimper that left her mouth as Rachel pulled away, but the sound caught in her throat as she watched tanned fingers gently untangle the knot at her waist.

Rachel swallowed thickly as she watched Quinn lick her lips, darkened hazel eyes following the movement of her fingers. She had never felt more confident, or more desired, as she did at that moment. She wanted to let Quinn see all of her, every highlight, ever imperfection, she wanted Quinn to own it, to own her body as she did her heart and mind. Rachel felt goose bumps cover her stomach and her nipples harden as cool air licked her skin as her robe fell open. She watched as Quinn's breath caught in her throat as her shaking hand lifted, running under the edge, encouraging it to slip down her shoulders, pooling around her feet. They'd seen each other naked before, had gotten so close to this moment, yet each of those times held nothing on here and now. Even their earlier shower held none of the heat that Quinn's gaze did now. Unlike the shower where Quinn's gaze had been full of love, filling her with ease, her eyes now leered, setting Rachel's skin on fire. Rachel trembled as Quinn's hands began to travel across her skin; the caress felt like worship, it felt like love. Her fingers glided down Rachel's arms, leaving a trail of raised flesh in their wake, making Rachel breath harder. She wanted to give Quinn her time, but she was aching to kiss, touch, taste, and consume every inch of the woman before her.

"Fuck beautiful. You are exquisite." Quinn was shocked at how deep her own voice sounded and couldn't stop her smirk at the obvious effect it had on the brunette, how shivered and blushed beautifully at the compliment –all the way down to her chest. Quinn's eyes were transfixed as she lifted her hand to cup Rachel's breast, smiling at the moan the diva was trying to hold back as she tweaked a nipple between her fingertips.

Quinn's hand dropped as Rachel began tugging on the belt of her robe, shaking fingers failing to undo the knot. Rachel whined in frustration as Quinn began dropping kisses on her neck, loving the small moans she got in response. "Quinn!" Quinn grinned into the skin even as her hands moved on top of Rachel's.

"Shhh. We have time." Quinn took a small step back and quickly removed her robe, trying not to feel self conscious as dark eyes roamed her body. She knew she was in perfect shape, but a part of her would always feel insecure about her body –both from her younger adolescent years, and her months of being pregnant.

"Do you have any idea…" Rachel's words trailed off as she ran her hand over Quinn's body, unable to stop at one spot for more than a few seconds. She loved the contrast of her darker skin against the ivory expanses presented to her. She lifted on her tiptoes and lightly kissed at Quinn's throbbing pulse point before taking her earlobe into her mouth, sucking and flicking her tongue against it, making Quinn moan deliciously. "Make love to me Quinn."

Quinn felt like she was going to explode at the whispered words, and licked her suddenly dry lips. Rachel's hand linked with hers as she pulled them onto the bed, not stopping until Quinn was hovering over her. She slowly leaned down, letting her lips graze over Rachel's soft pink ones, swallowing her sighed moan as their skin connected.

Rachel's hands slowly began to roam as Quinn controlled their kiss, keeping the kiss light and soft, with just enough force that she could taste Quinn's love. She gasped loudly as Quinn's hand brushed against her stomach, electricity spreading from the spot, making her already hard nipples pucker even more, setting her center on fire. One small touch Rachel felt like she was going to come apart at the seams. She knew what it meant to want something so desperately; it was a feeling she seemed to embrace most of her young life. Yet she had never wanted or needed anything like she desired Quinn. She needed to touch, to taste, to feel Quinn on her and in her. She loved her soft kisses but she needed more. The feeling of Quinn cupping her breast broke Rachel's patience. She a moan she lifted her head, kissing Quinn deeper as she lifted her knee and pressed it between Quinn's legs. A shiver of pure desire shot down her body at the wetness that greeted her thigh as Quinn rocked against her, allowing her to completely devour her mouth.

Quinn moaned as Rachel sucked her tongue into her mouth, pressing her hips down as Rachel answered, bucking hers up in response, forcing her own thigh to meet Rachel's core. Their kiss began to grow more passionate as they rocked against each other, finding a rhythm drove them both closer to their peak.

"I want to touch you." She breathed into Rachel's mouth when they both pulled away for a breath. "I need to touch you." Quinn growled out as she cupped Rachel's breast in her hand, loving contrast of her soft flesh and hard nipple pressing into her palm, sliding her fingers down to pinch lightly. Rachel moaned and lifted her hips, wanting nothing more than for Quinn to do just that.

Rachel's eyes slammed shut as nails lightly raked against her stomach, causing her muscles to flutter, making her center throb in time with her heart. "Quinn." The word was both a benediction and a plea, one that Quinn was loath to deny. She shifted her body until she was settled between Rachel's legs, holding her self up on one arm as she watched her own fingers slide over Rachel's waxed bikini line. Her attention was diverted by the gasp that emanated from below her, worried she'd done something wrong; instead she was completely enraptured by the look of pleasure and surprise that started back at her as her fingers slowly moved through Rachel's swollen folds. She groaned at the abundance of moisture she found, swallowing hard as her mouth began to water. She wanted to taste, but knew there would be time for that later. For now, she just wanted to see the love of her life come undone beneath her.

Rachel's body arched as Quinn's fingers finally found purchase on her bundle of nerves, the blonde above her smirking in pleasure. Rachel's breath came out in needy gasp as Quinn's fingertips circled around, brushing against her over and over again. Pleasure shot across her skin, making every nerve cry out in pleasure. Her back arched off the bed as warm lips surrounded her nipple, blazing pure heat down to where she was connected to her love. Her hand shot up to hold Quinn in place, never wanting to let go of this feeling. She was completely enraptured with the weight of Quinn above her, the feeling of her mouth on her skin, the softly whispered moans that told her just how much Quinn was enjoying pleasing her. It was all too much, and yet not enough.

"Please, Quinn, please." Their moans mingled in perfect harmony as Quinn sank two fingers deep into Rachel's velvety wetness. Quinn's fingers curled into Rachel's softness over and over, loving the wet heat that met her exploring touch, kissing and teasing the skin beneath her mouth in tandem to the movement of her fingers.

Rachel moaned as she rolled her hips, meeting Quinn's touch as she filled her. Fire poured through her veins, making her cry out in search of the final flare that would send her over the edge. She needed more, needed to feel more of Quinn deep inside her just as much as she needed to be inside Quinn. She needed to feel her lips on her own; needed to feel her body sliding against her. She needed to touch and taste and be surrounded by everything that was Quinn. Quinn gasped as Rachel shot forward and pulled Quinn to her, kissing her desperately. Rachel groaned and slid her hands between them, kneading Quinn's perfect breast roughly. Hot kisses trailed across her check until Quinn could hear Rachel's whimpered moans in her ear. "Together? Please?" Rachel sighed against her ear as her hand slid between Quinn's legs.

Quinn lapped at Rachel's shoulder and nodded, rotating her hips roughly against Rachel's searching fingers. Rachel clung to Quinn's back with her free hand as they began to meet each other, thrust for thrust. She'd never felt so aroused in her entire life. And as she leaned back and caught Rachel's eyes, she realized she never felt more loved either. Pleasure clouded her mind as she undulated her hips, moaning as the muscles surrounding her fingers tightened.

"So close. Quinn I'm so close." Rachel mumbled as she pushed her fingers harder and faster into Quinn's heat.

Quinn slid her fingers deeper, pressing against the soft ridges that she knew would push Rachel over the edge. She was reward with a long moan every time she curled her fingers against her, already beginning to feel Rachel's slick walls tightening around her fingers. Rachel's fingers dug into her scalp as the brunette brought their foreheads together, both covered in a light layer of sweat, her look daring Quinn to keep her eyes open. Rachel tilted her hand, brushing her palm against Quinn's clit and was rewarded with a loud curse as Quinn felt her climax crash over her unexpectedly.

"Oh fuck." Quinn growled as she thrust her hips, impaling herself on Rachel's fingers, even as she felt a Rachel clamp down on her own, hearing her name on Rachel's lips as she came pushing her further.

"Quuuiinnnnn!" Rachel cried out as she began to cum, unable to stop her body from pulling Quinn deeper inside her, silently begging Quinn not to stop. "Oh my god. Oh my god." Rachel panted as she quaked, drawing Quinn's lips to her own. "More, Quinn. More."

Quinn moaned as Rachel grabbed her forearm, forcing her to continue to move. "Oh god, yes, more." Quinn watched as Rachel collapsed back on the bed, grasping the sheets between her fingers as she lifted her hips to meet Quinn's thrust. Quinn shook off the haze of her orgasm as she watched her lover search for her next peak. She had never seen anything more beautiful, more sensual, than she did in that moment. Determined to help Rachel find what she slid lower, the scent of Rachel's arousal hit her and made her moan. It was spicy and heavy and completely Rachel. She watched as her fingers slid between swollen, glistening folds, over and over. Quinn eyes shot up as Rachel moaned and grasped her own breast, skilled fingers pinching and rolling her nipples roughly. She knew Rachel was close again and knew what she needed to push her over the edge.

Quinn leaned forward, still watched Rachel, whose eyes were closed, her head thrown back. "Beautiful." She whispered, looking down at Rachel's most intimate place. It really was beautiful. Everything about Rachel was beautiful. She sighed as she placed a teasing kiss against Rachel's engorged clit.

Rachel moaned, unable to get enough of the feelings flowing through her. When her first orgasm had shot through her, she felt a high she'd never experienced and she knew instantly she was addicted. She'd never felt like this, never this insatiable, this out of control. She couldn't even begin to form a coherent thought; she just knew she needed more, more of everything, more of Quinn. Her body lifted from the bed as Quinn's tongue joined her questing lips, flicking against her clit before sliding down the length of her, circling around her own driving fingers. White-hot fire flashed before her eyes as she drew closer to the edge.

Rachel whimpered and her eyes shot open as Quinn removed her fingers and looked up at her with a smirk. She wanted to beg, to plead for Quinn not to stop but she couldn't get her mouth to form words, lifting her hips in hopes that Quinn would know what she needed. Rachel cried out as Quinn moved her fingers up, circling her clit with one hand, the other sliding beneath Rachel's to tease her breast. It was oh so perfect and still not enough. She fought to find her voice until Quinn's tongue slid deep inside her, draining her of all everything but the feelings the blonde was creating with her talented tongue. No one had ever taken her like this, and if she were able to think, she would have realized it was just another aspect of making love to Quinn that she could quickly be addicted to. Rachel felt her stomach tighten in divine anticipation moments before her orgasm hit her, levitating her off the bed with its force.

She was still panting and trembling as she felt Quinn slowly kiss her way up her body. Her head lulled over as she tried to smile around her ragged breath, completely in awe of the woman next to her.

"Better?" Quinn asked, smiling down at her as she grazed her fingers over Rachel's stomach, causing her body to shudder again.

"Much." Rachel gasped between breaths, using the last of her energy to slam her hand against Quinn's. "Too sensitive."

"Hmm… so even this…" Quinn dragged her fingers lightly over her arm, smiling as Rachel's body quivered with an aftershock.

"Quinn." Rachel begged.

Quinn smiled but relented, just allowing her hand to lie on Rachel's hip. Really, she couldn't have wiped the smile from her face if she wanted to. She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against Rachel's temple and sighed with pleasure. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

"Oh, no, _mon chaton_, that is definitely you."

Quinn shook her head, her grin just getting bigger. "Okay, no, none of that. You do that whole French thing and I'm going to…"

Rachel smiled up adoringly and raised an eyebrow. "Going to?"

"Your insatiable."

"You're stunning." Rachel lifted her hand and slid it along Quinn's cheek. "I keep waiting to wake up and realize this is all just a dream."

"Do I need to pinch you?"

Rachel snorted. "I can think of much more pleasurable things you can be doing with your hands. Or better yet, things I could be doing with mine."

Quinn grunted as her back hit the bed, blinking in surprise, both at finding herself beneath her lover, and at how much that show of strength turned her on. Her mind briefly flashed to their evening before and she couldn't stop the moan that slid passed her lips. She could get used to this more aggressive side of Rachel. "Fuck, Rae, I knew you were strong but you doing things like that…" Quinn shivered and the feeling landed directly on her already pulsing core.

Rachel flexed the muscles under Quinn's hands and lifted an eyebrow. "I get the sense that my dominant use force and aggression triggers your arousal response."

"If that's Berry-speak for your muscles turning me on, then yes, yes they does." Quinn smiled as she ran her hands down Rachel's deceptively strong arms and wrapped her legs around Rachel's.

Rachel buried her face in Quinn's neck and groaned, already feeling the flames of desire spark to life. "God, do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"I do." Rachel could hear the smile in her voice. "But feel free to show me again."

Quinn jumped and whimpered as Rachel's teeth connected with her shoulder, before flickering against it soothingly. "I plan on doing just that. Over. And over. And over." Rachel whispered huskily into Quinn's ear before kissing her way down Quinn's body, ready to make good on her promise. She peppered kisses along Quinn's collarbone and down the swell of her breast and smiled deviously.

"Tu es l'amour de ma vie, Quinn." She husked before taking a rigged nipple between her lips, rolling it between her tongue and the edge of her teeth, moaning at the wetness that pressed against her stomach as Quinn's hips surged up at the soft spoken words. Rachel kissed her way across the expanse of Quinn's chest, whispering as she went.

"Je ne sais pas pourquoi ça m'a pris autant de temps pour le voir, mais je ne peux pas vivre sans toi." Quinn moaned and cupped the back of her head, the heady mixture of Rachel's lips and her words were almost enough to make her come undone. Liquid heat pooled between her legs, begging to be released.

"Je veux passer le reste de mes jours," Rachel's lips dragged over lower, lapping against the soft skin that covered her glorious abs, " à te vénérer," she nipped at Quinn's hip, receiving a loud moan in response, "à te montrer à quel point tu es belle," Rachel's hands slid down Quinn's sides, raking her nails along the skin before she grasped onto Quinn's thighs, spreading them and holding each one in place as she lowered herself between them further.

"à chérir ton coeur," she let her words caress Quinn's trembling inner thigh as she place a small, open mouth kiss against it. "à aimer ton esprit," Quinn whimpered as she placed a kiss on her other side, slowly dragging her lips closer to where they both wanted them to be. "Si tu me donnes une chance," Rachel puckered her lips and lightly blew across the wetness her tongue was watering to drink in. She paused and looked up, waiting until Quinn's full blown green eyes met her own before she finished. "Je promets de faire de toi la personne la plus heureuse sur Terre." Quinn's pleasure spiraled out of control as Rachel's mouth descended upon her, wrecking her for anyone else.

* * *

Translation:

Je ne sais pas pourquoi ça m'a pris autant de temps pour le voir, mais je ne peux pas vivre sans toi. I don't know how it took me so long to see it but I cannot live without you

Je veux passer le restant de mes jours à te vénérer, à te montrer à quel point tu es belle, à chérir ton coeur, à aimer ton esprit. I want to spend the rest of my days worshipping you, showing you your beauty, cherishing your heart, loving your mind.

Si tu me donnes une chance, je promets de faire de toi la personne la plus heureuse sur Terre. If you give me a chance, I promise to make you the happiest person to ever walk the earth.

And of course, _mon chaton_ literally translates "my kitten" but Rachel uses it as a reference to Quinn's leonine qualities (i.e. a cute and sexy lion!Quinn)

* * *

**Aww, leave it to Rachel to get all sweet and romantic while going down on her lady love. I almost don't want to post an authors note, but I know some you were not pleased with me and the previous chapter -though that was kind of the point. You weren't supposed to like it, like it. It was**** supposed to be an off-the-wall, wth-are-they-thinking, this-is-hot-but-so-not-them moment that you were supposed to love/hate.**** If you made it this far, thanks for trusting me and I hope this chapter made up for it a little bit. Let me know one way or the other. **

**Oh and a present for all those who reviewed wanting to kill Santana -don't worry, she's pretty much fulfilled her bitchy, evil, nefarious purposes and won't be sticking around for long. Next chapter we (finally) head to LA. I know I promised that with the last chapter but I felt Quinn and Rachel (and maybe a few of us) needed this moment before they're forced to face the shitstorm their little dance created.**


	23. Planes and Videos

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, PMd, followed and favorited. You guys are amazing! I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to this story and to all of you. As a treat, a long chapter with a very NSFW middle section. Enjoy!**

* * *

Rachel rubbed her eyes as she stared out the door. "What's this?"

"This is me saving both of your asses." Tina growled as she pushed her way passed a very disheveled diva and strode into her New York loft. "Be thankful I gave you a full 24-hour reprieve. Quinn's manager, agent, and her show's PR team wanted to fly to New York and break down your door an hour after you both drunkenly tripped out of the club."

"Is it that bad?" Quinn asked as she walked in the room, wrapping her robe tighter around her.

"That bad and worse. Your lucky your show loves you or I would have had to justify spending an exorbitant amount of money on a private plane just to keep you from being stampeded by overzealous paparazzi. As it is, your doorman has had to call in extra security just to keep the rodents from overrunning your building."

Rachel sighed as she slumped back on the couch. "Remind me to send him floor seats for the next Knicks game."

"I'll make a note of it. Right now though, you two need to get packed as quickly as you can. We only have three hours until wheels up. You're just lucky we're flying private and are being delivered planeside or there's no way we'd avoid any of the paps."

"We?"

"Yes, we. And we aren't that thrilled about it. Thanks to your impromptu dance performance the other night, I am coming with you to LA to meet with Quinn's team so we can work together to navigate this mess."

"You know, you were there for that mess. You, or anyone else, could have stepped in and stopped us from making complete asses of ourselves." Quinn growled as she stepped beside Rachel and put her hand on the woman's shoulder. Logically she knew it was no ones fault but their own, no one's responsibility to stop them from acting like the drunken fools they were, but Tina was supposed to work for Rachel, making sure she looked good to her adoring public at all times. She of all their friends should have been the first one to try to stop them.

"Right, like anyone could stop either of you when you've got it into your heads to do something. Please. I've barely gotten over the hell you both put us all through in high school when you wanted something."

"Made you the shark you are today."

Tina shrugged off the comment with a slight nod of acknowledgement. It was true and they all knew it. Glee might have saved her, but it was people like Quinn giving her hell that pushed her to be more than the pseudo-stuttering, wanna-be goth chick she pretended to be when she'd first walked into the choir room.

"Whatever, even if you're right, the only ones who were voting to stop you were the two gay boys. Well, actually, now that I think about it, Blaine didn't seem to be objecting the show all that much. But that is beside the matter. You're both adults and I told you when this all started Rachel, I would never stand in the way of something you wanted. And you really, really seemed to want one Quinn Fabray."

"While I cannot refute either of those statements, as my manager, in order to secure both of our employment statuses I would have thought it would have been prudent of you to actually step in in this case. And I do expect you to do so if anything of this nature occurs again."

Tina scoffed and shook her head. "Maybe. Though I really doubt you'll want to hold me to that promise when you realize the amount of free publicity this is going to bring you. If you haven't noticed over the last ten years or so, being out is all the rage. You two were made to be together in the spot light. You're the Ellen and Portia for the modern, young American. I said I was meeting with Quinn's team. I didn't say that we were going to down play this in any way."

Quinn was practically vibrating with righteous anger. Their relationship wasn't some pawn to be used and flaunted to further their careers. They weren't doing this to be a public spectacle -hell that was the very last thing she wanted. She opened her mouth to snarl at the tiny Asian woman when Rachel place her hand over the one she still rested on the diva's shoulder. She sighed as worried brown eyes locked on hers and the woman minutely shook her head. She knew Rachel was asking for her to back down, even if just for the moment. Her eyes silently promising that she wouldn't let it come to that. The sound of a throat being clear shot their eyes to the other woman in the room who had obviously caught their interaction.

"Listen," Tina's voice softened, "as much as I know neither of you want this, the reality is there isn't any way to stop it. Even if I had stopped the both of you before you reached the dance floor, there have been rumours circulating before Rachel even stepped foot onto the set of STEEL. By the time you walked into that club, pictures of the two of you staring at each other like you always have were already hitting the internet. By the time you hit that dancefloor, there were already a plethora of videos involving a few very risqué body shots and a line of paparazzi surrounding the building. Right now, the best we can hope for it to spin it in some sort of positive light."

Rachel sighed and leaned her head back against Quinn, knowing it was true. This was their own mistake and they were going to have to accept it and move on as best as they could.

Tina stood and ushered them towards the bedroom. "As much as I want to placate your fears and tell you everything will work out, we really don't have time for this right now. We'll talk on the plane, you can object all you want then, but right now, you two need to get moving. I'll have Edwardo bring the car to the underground car park. You know he'll spoil you with coffee and vegan pastries so breakfast is taken care of. Now move."

It seemed like only moments later they were being bustled into the car as light bulbs flashed around them. Voices carried through the gates of the parking garage as reporters shouted their questions from afar. Lights flashed through the tinted windows of their town car as they made their way from Rachel's Lower Manhattan apartment as both women tried to huddle out of sight. Rachel sighed as Quinn pulled her nearer and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. If it was this bad in New York, she was dreading what it would be like at Teterboro or when they touched down in LA. Thankfully, Tina had the foresight not to fly them commercial. She shivered at the thought of flying into LAX. At least Van Nuys offered a sliver of anonymity.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Quinn whispered quietly, running her left hand up and down Rachel's right arm, her other hand wrapped around the diva's shoulder, pulling Rachel's head to rest on her chest.

"I know. I just find myself apprehensive. It doesn't help that I am unable to recall most of the events that led up to this media circus of our own building. Do you know we've had calls to appear on almost every major talk and news show in the last twelve hours?"

"Tina told us both while we packed, so yes, I believe I knew that." Rachel could hear the smile in Quinn's voice and couldn't help but lift her head to see it. A smiling Quinn always made her feel better. It softened her already seraphic features and never failed to make Rachel melt just a little.

"You know I love you, right? That my fear and apprehension have nothing to do with you or us?"

Quinn felt the conviction in Rachel's words and nodded. She did know, though if she were being honest, she was still a bit terrified. Though their relationship was admittedly years in the making, it was also very new and fragile. They had only been dating a little over a month. They had only just allowed the finally barriers between them to fall when they made love for the first time less than a day before. What if it all crumbled before they had a chance to really begin? What if she lost not only her love, but her best friend? Yes, she loved Rachel, fully, deeply. She could honestly see herself building a life with the outspoken, driven, downright sexy brunette. Yet, Quinn was terrified that maybe love wouldn't be enough to get them through the mess they were facing.

"Quinn." Rachel's soft voice broke through Quinn's musings and she looked up to find two concerned brown eyes searching her face. "I know what you're thinking. This is scary because we're so new. And I am overly driven and I have a habit of putting my career before everything. But… I meant what I said yesterday. I need you more than all of that. While it would be crushing to lose it all…"

"Which I won't allow." Tina muttered from across from them, earning her a glare from both women who had almost forgot she was present.

"Right, well, regardless," Rachel sighed, turning back to the woman next to her, "_if_ it comes to that, it will be worth it as long as you're by my side."

"You always find a way to over romanticize things, don't you?" Quinn's words held a warmth that made Rachel smile self-consciously. Quinn dipped her head, taking Rachel's bottom lip between hers, kissing her gently, as if she was something that could shatter with the most gentle breeze. Quinn pulled back with a soft sigh as she fought her inner demons. She hated the thoughts filling her head, and disliked expressing them to anyone but Rachel. She knew Tina was trying to mind her own business, but there wasn't a lot of space between them to do so. She would always be the high school girl who saw vulnerability as a weakness, who would always pretend to be stronger than she was except to the very select few she allowed fully behind her walls. Rachel had always been one of those people -wether she wanted her to be or not. Even so, it didn't mean she wanted it broadcast to everyone they knew, regardless of what had occurred two days before.

Rachel watched and waited, knowing she would dislike whatever words finally crossed Quinn's lips. She saw the frown between her eyes, saw her trying to work out an equation that didn't have any obvious answers. She knew Quinn was teasing, but she was right that she tended to romanticize situations. She couldn't help but want to see the best in someone or hope for the best outcome in every situation. She knew this was were Quinn in her differed vastly. She was the optimist to Quinn's pacifist. She still stood by the thought that she would give up everything else, everything for Quinn. Because she was quickly growing to accept that Quinn _is _her everything now.

"Rachel," Quinn's soft sigh brought Rachel's attention back to their conversation. "I know you think that now, that I'll be enough, but… I'm... I'm just afraid you'll come to resent me for it. If the worst-case scenario does happen and you have to choose between our relationship and your career -I… I rather," Quinn took a breath and looked up into understanding eyes that sparkled with tears. Rachel knew where she was going, she wanted to stop her before the words came out, but she knew Quinn needed to say them. Just as much as she knew she didn't want to hear the truth in them.

"I rather you walk away for this, from us as a couple, and still have you as a friend, than for you to choose to stay by my side and eventually hating me for it."

Rachel lifted her hand and ran it through soft blonde locks. "Oh, Quinn, I could never–"

"You say that now."

Rachel dropped her hand and sighed. She knew Quinn was right, no matter how much she was loath to admit it. It was the words she was hoping not to hear but she understood, she knew. Rachel shook her head. No. No, she wouldn't let it come to that. She would fight, she would do whatever it took. And she would convince Quinn of that too. She would. She had to.

Rachel shook her head again as she stared down at her lap. "While I don't see this negatively impacting either of our careers in the long run, _if_ and when it happens, then _we_ will decide, together, how to go from there." When she looked up Quinn she could see the fire and determination that filled the small woman's gaze. "But I will not willingly walk away from this. Away from you."

Quinn swallowed roughly. She wanted to believe. She wanted Rachel's words to be true. She recognized the passion that flashed in Rachel's eyes. It was the same fire and determination that filled Rachel's eyes as they had made love into the early hours of the morning. She leaned forward, unable to stop herself from tasting the words on her lips. She sighed softly, her breath brushing against Rachel's cheek as she rested their foreheads together. "I wouldn't expect you to."

"I hate to interrupt," Tina nodded towards the window where they could see the airport looming closer, "but we're almost there."

"How bad is it going to be?"

Tina checked out their window again. "It looks like we might have a few stragglers following us, but they shouldn't be too much of a problem. They won't be able to get passed security. The most they can hope for is a few telephoto shots as we board the plane."

Tina had been correct and the three of them were quickly boarded onto the plane, far enough from the entrance that there was no hope of them even being noticed. The two pilots introduced themselves and assured them that their five-hour flight promised to be smooth sailing. Quinn hated flying, not that it scared her, but she was an impatient person and sitting in one spot, unproductively, for hours on end, was not her idea of fun. Not to mention the setup of the Lear 35 didn't leave a lot of space, though she was glad it afforded more moving space than a first class seat would have. Quinn slid from her seat the moment they reached their cruising altitude. She needed to move. Or sleep. Or do something other than sit and listen to Tina and Rachel drone on and on. She smiled down reassuringly at the questioning look Rachel shot her and left the woman to haggle with her manager/agent/whatever Tina actually did for her. As she moved, she could feel her muscles pull, especially in her back and smiled to herself. As sore as she was, she wouldn't trade a single ache for the pleasant memory of what caused them to. Quinn stretched out on the back couch area and laced her fingers behind her head, letting the hum of the engines lull her into a trance as she replayed moments from the day before.

Fingers scraped softly against Quinn's scalp making her sigh with contentment, finding the motion soothing and arousing and peaceful. Warm lips traced over her cheek, across her jaw, brushing gently against her lips, causing Quinn to sigh at the light contact. She shivered gently as delicate fingers danced over her arms, barely there in their touch, but enough to rouse her even more. Lips moved down her neck as fairy light touches skimmed across her shoulders, down her sides, across her taut stomach. Each move caused Quinn's heart to beat a little faster, her skin tingle even more in anticipation, her breath filling her lungs even quicker. She turned her head, catching wet lips that had been trailing her check between her own. Quinn lifted her head as those lips withdrew, chasing after the fleeting taste of heaven.

"Hello sleepy head."

Quinn rubbed her face and smiled sleepily at the woman hovering above her. "Hi."

Rachel melted at the dopey grin shining up at her. "How is it possible for one person to be so utterly adorable and not even realize it?"

Quinn rolled her eyes playfully and sat up on her elbows, snatching a kiss as she rose. "Sweet talker." Quinn whispered against Rachel's incredible soft lips. Her hand rose and wove into even softer hair, kissing her again, just as softly. She sighed into the kiss as Rachel's lips parted, her tongue flickering against Quinn's lips. She pulled Rachel closer to her, getting lost in the feeling of her mouth, of her hair running through her fingers, in the way Rachel cradled her as she kissed her deeply. By the time they pulled back, both women were panting, sharing each breath as they leaned their heads together.

"As pleasurable as that was, Tina is waiting for us." Rachel said softly, nodding behind her.

"Are we almost there?"

"Not far. I wanted to let you sleep but Bradwell wanted to talk to us before we landed."

Quinn groaned at the mention of her manager's name and let herself fall back on her impromptu bed. "I am so not awake enough to deal with Thor."

"Yes, well as much as I appreciate that, Tina has been running interference for you for as long as she can." Rachel said softly as she ran her fingers up and down Quinn's arm. "She's been on the phone with your people since we hit open air." She smiled and brushed blond hair from Quinn's forehead as the woman watched her while she spoke. She could tell Quinn was exhausted and Rachel wanted nothing more than to crawl next to Quinn, pull her into her arms, and hold her as she slept. She hated that she instead was adding more to her plate, but they still had much they had to discuss and very little time to do it.

"CAA have said that they will release whatever statement you'd like and are willing to do along with whatever Tina decides is the best course of action –which is a testament to her prowess as my agent and manager that such a prestigious agency is willing to defer to her –though it could be because they trust in your talent to outshine whatever scandal you make." Quinn grunted and threw her arm over her eyes. "She's also been on the phone with Bradwell and LCC. Your position on the show hasn't changed at all, which is apparently by our surroundings. Their only worry at the moment is for our safety."

Quinn's arm flung out and she sat up quickly, almost knocking Rachel to the floor in her haste. "What do you mean our safety?" She questioned as she pulled Rachel closer to her. Just the idea of anyone hurting her scared the hell out of Quinn, though she tried to hide it as she listened to what she had to say.

Rachel leaned against Quinn, thankful that she didn't have to look at her at the moment. "Apparently we've created quite a mess for ourselves. We've had plenty of vocal critics in the last thirty-six hours, as well as a few threats, and a school of gossip hungry paparazzi surrounding your house in Malibu since we were seen leaving Manhattan."

"_Our_ house. _Our_ house in Malibu."

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry. You're right." Rachel kissed Quinn's cheek before running her fingers over her lipstick mark, smiling slightly when Quinn leaned into her palm. "It _is_ our house. It's just all of this… I always knew the paparazzi were going to be a reality in my life." Rachel sighed and dropped her hand. "I tried for a long time to prepare for it, but the truth is, you can't prepare for the overwhelming anxiety that comes with being chased down by a dozen loud, pushy, overbearing men you don't know. Or being surrounded, having to push your way through a crowd. It's invasive and scary and…" Rachel looked over at Quinn, letting her lips curl up at the sympathy that filled Quinn's hazel eyes.

"Listen, as much as I know Bradwell can be, well, caustic, but he _is_ in your corner and he needs your opinion as well as mine to figure out what our course of action is going to be once we land."

* * *

Quinn gritted her teeth as she opened the door and waltzed into the bedroom. She hated the arrangement they'd come to. She hated that they had to be escorted from their car by security guards. She hated this hotel. She hated that she had just thrown her bag on a bed that wasn't theirs. Quinn fumed as she unzipped her suitcase and shoved clothes out of her way. She hated that Rachel was an excellent packer. She hated that Rachel was watching her, afraid to come completely into the bedroom. She hated that she was so angry. She hated that no matter how angry she was, and no matter how badly she hated it all, she would do whatever they asked because it would mean keeping Rachel safe while they figured out what exactly they were going to do. She would go along with it because as much as she hated to admit it, Rachel was right.

Rachel jumped slightly as she watched the bathroom door slam shut. It took all of her power not to follow Quinn in and beg her not to be mad. She wanted to wrap her in her love, comfort her with her kiss, hold her in her arms, promise her it would all be okay, and this was only temporary, and that it would blow over soon. But she stood in the doorway, watching the closed door instead. Because as much as she wanted to say those words, she sure if any of them were even true. And even if they were, she knew that Quinn would still need her space, need time to process. Rachel let her eyes linger on the door for another moment before she turned towards their bags, shaking her head at the mess Quinn had created of hers. She figured since they were stuck here for the time being, the least she could do was be productive and unpack them.

Quinn's people were booked with other clients for the day, which meant their meeting had been postponed until the day before New Years Eve. Both Tina and Bradwell had voiced the possibility that the New Year would allow everything to blow over, but just in case, both their teams were busy trying to figure out how to spin everything in a positive light. Something Rachel was sure was going to be a difficult if not impossible task. Rachel had only remembered flashes of their night out, but for the most part it was still hazy. Even so, she couldn't see how they could make Quinn taking her on the dance floor, or just as bad, Rachel fucking Quinn in a bathroom stall, into something positive.

Rachel chewed on her lip as she looked around their suite trying to decide what to do next. Quinn still hadn't emerged from the bathroom by the time Rachel had unpacked them both. She eyed her computer on the desk across the room and glanced at the bathroom door. She knew there were videos. And pictures. And sound bites. She knew that it was "plastered on every news page and social media site." Rachel shifted from one foot to the other as she weighed the pros and cons. On one hand, she was curious, and watching would mean she was prepared for any questions their fans might have. On the other hand, she wasn't quite sure she was prepared to see what they had done either. Yesterday had been perfect. Their 'do over' for lack of a better term, had been perfect. It was so, so beautiful and she really hated the idea of tainting it. Rachel took a deep breath and sighed, stepping towards the desk. She knew her curiosity and need to be ready in every situation would always get the better of her.

Rachel slid onto the hard chair, thankful she wouldn't be able to get completely comfortable. It reflected how she felt internally and she felt that it was fitting. She threw another look over her shoulder, seeing the bathroom door still securely shut. Quietly, she opened her computer and logged in. She nervously typed in her name into Google and gasped at the image that popped up –a very mussed up version of herself smiling happily from the back of an equally disheveled Quinn Fabray, smiling in a way she'd never seen before.

Quinn sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. She knew she Rachel was waiting, giving her the space she needed. It said a lot about Rachel and how much she'd matured in the last few years. High school Rachel would have barged into the bathroom the moment the door was shut, just to try to figure out what was going on in Quinn's head. She was glad older Rachel realized she needed space and time to work out just what was going on in her head –not that an overly long shower had made that any clearer. Quinn ran her hand through her hair. She noticed it had gotten longer and was sure the show would want it trimmed up before they resumed shooting. She liked it a little bit longer though, liked how it fell against the top of her shoulders. It gave her a more mature look. She shook her head at her thoughts and slid into the pajamas she had barely thought to grab before retreating to the bathroom. Quinn rolled her eyes at herself. Retreat, hide, whatever.

Quinn had argued with her handlers. Argued with Rachel. Argued with Tina. She wanted to go home. She wanted to actually start her life with Rachel, not that she had said those words out loud. She wasn't sure if she was ready to say something like that out loud to Rachel, much less the rest of the world. Even if it was true. Leave it to Rachel to remind her that they didn't have security, or gates. Rachel had reminded her that they lived on the beach, meaning anyone could walk right up to her back deck and take pictures through the large number of uncovered windows. Any one of those piranhas could take pictures of them together, in their own home. Rachel was afraid that they would come to hate the very place they were supposed to feel safe and secure. She had been right, Quinn knew that, and it was the only reason she relented. Well, that and the ridiculously cute pout Rachel had given her. Not that she would ever admit that either.

Quinn eyed the door, suddenly missing the woman that had been attached to that pout. She was sure was Rachel was nervously waiting for on somewhere on the other side of the door. It was odd how that thought made her smile just a bit. Quinn caught her reflection and saw the light burning in own hazel eyes. Just the thought of Rachel waiting for her made her chest burn with warmth and made her feel stupidly, ridiculously happy. She rolled her eyes at her thoughts but couldn't help but watch her smile grow bigger.

Quinn looked around the bedroom area, noting that their bags were hidden away in the closet, but Rachel wasn't in the room. "Rae?" Quinn called out as she walked into the living area of their suite.

Rachel's head didn't turn, she didn't acknowledge Quinn had even spoke, completely engrossed in the images on her screen. Quinn lifted an eyebrow, wondering just what she was watching on her laptop. She couldn't see from here, but whatever it was, it was making Rachel turn pretty colors. Quinn leaned against the doorframe and watched. The flush of Rachel's cheeks, the way Rachel was breathing, the way she bit her lip unconsciously all gave Quinn a pretty good idea what had captured Rachel's attention so completely that she hadn't even noticed Quinn moving slowly towards her. Quinn stalked across the room, slowly slipping behind Rachel. She smiled as she looked at the screen, watching as she ground sensually into Rachel amid the bright lights, surrounded by a crowd of strangers.

Quinn leaned closer and husked, "It was much better in person."

Rachel yelped and slammed her laptop shut with one hand, her other covering her thundering heart. "Quinn!"

Quinn smirked as she tuned and leaned her hip on the desk, her thigh brushing against Rachel's smooth leg. "Did it jar any memories?" Quinn asked, blatantly running her eyes over Rachel's flushed chest, loving the small dresses she insisting on wearing on an almost daily basis.

"I –uh –I'm not…"

"The great Rachel Berry at a loss for words?" Quinn's voice dropped, smiling to herself at the shiver she watched travel down Rachel's spine. "You know," Quinn's eyes followed the path her hand traveled over tanned skin, sliding her index finger along Rachel's collar bone, "if you wanted to watch it," her fingers slid higher, nails dragging along against Rachel's neck, her smirk growing at the shiver they caused, "I would have been more than willing to make it a…. pleasurable… viewing."

Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She felt so wrong and dirty and hot and sexy and… and... and confused. "Quinn." She breathed out, not sure what she was even asking for. Quinn's hand stilled on her neck and Rachel opened her eyes to see two very concerned ones searching her face.

She heard the way Rachel's voice caught on her name and couldn't help but worry. Her worry only increasing as the brown eyes staring up at her grew watery. "Are you okay?" Quinn asked softly.

"I don't know." Rachel sighed honestly. "Part of me is completely horrified that we did that. I mean that we did that," she waved at the computer, "in public. But there is another part of me…" Rachel hesitated, trying to figure out how to word it.

"It's okay to be aroused by that, Rae." Quinn smiling softly. She'd seen the desire in Rachel's eyes when she'd first caught her. It was the only reason she had decided to tease her as she had.

"No, it's not that. I mean, okay, I was. I am. But it's more than that. The part that's not horrified by that happening in public…" Rachel looked up at Quinn and smiled a little as she gave a small shrug as she wiped at her traitorous eyes, "part of me is proud." Quinn's raised eyebrow held a huge, flashing question mark, even as she smiled at Rachel's statement. She could still see the confusion that Rachel had at her own words and waited patiently for the brunette to figure out just what she was saying.

Rachel rested her hands on Quinn's hips and pulled her over until Quinn was sitting on the desk between Rachel's legs.

Rachel smiled as Quinn's breath hitched as she ran her thumbs under the hem of Quinn's shirt, skirting over her hipbone. "We've both been through so much when we were younger that neither of us have ever had the most normal experiences growing up. Not really. Our high school experiences aren't what most people's are. You had the baby drama and all that came with it. Then bouncing back from that to land in a wheel chair. I had glee and Finn and marriage. And well, let's be honest, I was never the normal child. Or teenager. Or young adult. And okay, I know it sounds like I'm marginalizing it, but for once I have a point to make and I don't want to spend forever getting to it." Quinn chuckled and laid her arms on Rachel's shoulders, playing with the tips of her hair as she spoke. "What we did, going out, dancing, getting stupidly drunk, making drunken mistakes, that was so utterly, completely normal."

"And you're proud of it?"

"Yes. No. I'm proud of us. Yes, it was a stupid mistake to make, one that we both should have known better than to let happen. I'm not proud of what we did. I don't regret it, but it doesn't mean I'm proud of it." Rachel hesitated and just enjoyed the feel of Quinn's hands running through her hair as she fought to find the right words. Rachel smiled as Quinn waited patiently for her to make her point. "I'm more proud that regardless of the repercussions, which honestly didn't even cross my mind at the time even though it should have, when we finally allowed ourselves to make a characteristic mistake of a young person who has over imdued, when we finally allowed ourselves to _be_ the happy, youthfully ignorant young adults we are, to be normal even if just for one night… I proud that we did it together." Rachel's chest felt like it would burst as understanding dawned in Quinn's eyes and the woman began to grin. "Don't you see? Neither of us have ever been able to fully let ourselves just be. As confident as we both appear, we're always worried about what others will think, or how someone will perceive us, or whether or not we're making the right decisions. And it took both of us, together, to forget all of it and just be."

"I get what you're saying." Quinn smiled, because she really did. She may not agree 100% because she could think of a few times where she'd let loose but she could agree that she never felt as free as she did in those moments, in a lot of moments, that she had shared with Rachel.

Quinn's eyes shot to Rachel's lips as the woman ran her pink tongue over them, watching her throat bob as she swallowed hard. "And while I think we probably should try to objectively watch our debacle together, or perhaps separately would be more prudent, in order to be able to answer any questions our critics and fans might have, I don't think right now is the time for that."

Quinn saw the fire in Rachel's eyes and grinned. "You don't, hmm?" Rachel shook her head and tugged on Quinn's arm, pulling her down onto her lap. Quinn's mind tried to stay with their conversation as she felt a warmth begin to fill her stomach. "Does that mean you want to watch it subjectively right now?"

"No, I don't." Rachel sighed happily as she ran her hands up and down the soft, pale thighs that rested on either side of her. Her hands toyed with the hem of the sinfully short shorts as she brought her mouth closer. "Because you were correct when you said watching it was turning me on. But you're turning me on more."

They trade lazy kisses, touching slowly but confidently, each kiss growing in depth and passion. Rachel's lips traveled over a quivering jaw, down the base of her throat, up to her ear. "So, uh, that means no videos right now?" Quinn's voice cracked as Rachel nipped at her ear.

"That means right now," Rachel whispered, nipping at Quinn's earlobe, "I would like to devest you of all of your clothing and have my way with you."

"You and your big words." Quinn groaned as soft hands slid under her shirt and raked against her back. Rachel lifted her hips, slowly sliding Quinn's feet to the floor as she struggled to stand without detaching her lips from Quinn's delectable neck.

"Would you like smaller? Like suck?" Rachel asked as she pulled Quinn's skin into her mouth. "Lick?" Quinn arched her neck as Rachel slid her tongue from her pulse point up to her ear. "Or maybe _fuck?_" Quinn felt herself clinch at the roughly whispered word. In all the time she'd known Rachel, she'd only heard her let loose such a word only a handful of times, and never, ever like this.

Before Quinn could respond Rachel was pulling her shirt over her head, her lips wrapping around Quinn's nipple before the shirt even hit the floor. Rachel licked her tongue against Quinn's rapidly hardening nipple, smiling at the sounds escaping those perfectly soft lips above her. Quinn sighed softly, running her fingers through dark hair as Rachel's mouth traversed the space between her breasts, scattering kisses and small bites over her chest before turning her head. She arched into Rachel's mouth as the woman latched on, tongue swirling over the hardened bud. Electrifying bolts of arousal shot straight between Rachel's legs with every breathy moan and sharp intake of air that passed Quinn's lips as Rachel sucked roughly at her nipple, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin before being soothed by the soft press of her tongue. Quinn was panting heavily, her fingers digging into Rachel's back as she reveled in the feel of Rachel's mouth upon her. Quinn groaned as her hands slid against the fabric of Rachel's dress.

"Too many clothes."

Her fingers slid over the seams of the dark material in search of the zipper, though Quinn's brain lacked the focus it needed to figure it out. Right now, every synapse was focused on the feel of Rachel's relentless pursuit. Quinn wanted more, but she never wanted the oral assault against her breasts to cease. Warm lips surrounding her nipple, firing liquid heat straight to her core with every flick of her tongue, clouding Quinn's brain as teeth raked against sensitive flesh.

"Side." Rachel muttered into soft skin, smiling at the moan she received as she flicked her tongue rapidly against the hardened bud. Quinn's eyes rolled into her head as Rachel sucked roughly against her before lips moved up her chest, peppered along her collarbone, up her neck and along her jaw. She felt Rachel's hand grasp her own which had fallen useless at Rachel's hip. "The zipper is on the side." Rachel whispered seductively into Quinn's ear.

Quinn sighed in relief as her fingers fumbled upon the zipper, trying to will them to work well enough to actually move the small tab down. She growled in frustration as she pulled and prodded the small piece of metal, trying to get it to move downwards.

"Don't rip it." Rachel chuckled into her neck, feeling Quinn's jerky movements stop and her hands fall away. Quinn growled and slid her hand into Rachel's hair, yanking her mouth to her own. Rachel's knees almost buckled at the onslaught, clinging to Quinn as the woman completely controlled their kiss, her tongue making long, hard strokes against Rachel's, before pulling back and nipping at her bruised lips.

"Then you take it off." Quinn's voice was rough in her own ears. She didn't care. She needed Rachel's skin under her fingers. She needed to watch Rachel come undone under her. She needed to feel Rachel's body against her own. And she wasn't one to wait when she really wanted something.

Rachel nodded and stumbled back, trying to catch her breath as her eyes ran her eyes up and down Quinn's naked torso. She watched Quinn eyes followed her trembling hand to her side. Quinn watched as her hand moved the zipper slowly down, followed as the dress slid down her body, as it pooled on the floor beneath Rachel. Quinn's eyes hungrily trailed over well-defined calves, up toned thighs, licking her lips at the tiny piece of cloth that covered a precious treasure she thoroughly planned to plunder later. Her eyes danced across Rachel's quivering stomach. Quinn smiled as she realized she had been right when she assumed that there was very little beneath Rachel's dress, the sight of Rachel's breast hanging free making her throb anew. She swallowed back her need as her eyes slid over strong neck, across Rachel's powerful jaw, hesitating on glistening pink lips. Her eyes flickered passed flaring nostrils and caught on burning brown eyes. Quinn almost whimpered at the fire that she saw there. She'd never heard such a pitiful noise come from her own throat, but she'd never been looked at like that before. She'd never been so turned on just one look. Rachel's eyes promised a passion that would burn her to the core, a heat that would decimate her very self. Quinn had never seen someone look so determined and possessive and needy all at once.

Yet, it still shocked her when Rachel lurched forward, grabbing Quinn's neck and pulling her roughly forward. Rachel kissed her roughly, thoroughly as she moved them backwards, pushing until Quinn's back hit the wall, making Quinn cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain as their skin pressed together. Rachel's mind flashed to the night at the bar as she kissed down Quinn's jaw, planting kisses and love bites on the most sensitive parts of her neck and along her rapidly throbbing pulse point. Quinn groaned and lifted her neck, giving Rachel every inch the woman demanded, her hands grasping as Rachel's strong back. Rachel remembered the heat that had filled Quinn's eyes when she lifted her onto the bar and grinned into her neck, before nipping softly. Quinn watched in a haze as Rachel's lips moved lower, circling her nipple but not touching, her kisses grazing the underside of her breast, her stomach, down passed her navel. Insistent thumbs hooked into the edge of her sleep shorts, Rachel moving only far enough for them to slide over her hips. Lips trailed over skin as she moved the shorts lower until she was lifting Quinn's foot, untangling them from her legs.

Quinn looked down and gulped. Rachel was kneeling before her looking ravaged yet starving. She shivered as Rachel's nails raked up her outer thighs and along the crease of her legs. Quinn wanted to ask, to beg, but she her throat was parched, every drop of liquid pooled in the space between her legs. Rachel's eyes shot up and captured her own, silently daring her to keep eye contact as she leaned forward. Rachel saw the need in Quinn's eyes and wanted nothing more than to give Quinn all she wanted and more.

Quinn's hips canted forward as Rachel nuzzled against her damp panties. Rachel breathed in the scent of Quinn and groaned, feeling her own panties grow wetter. She would have never thought that the smell of another woman would turn her on so much, would cause her mouth to water like it was, but she couldn't deny that the clean, tangy scent of Quinn aroused her. Rachel slid Quinn's panties down her legs, kissing and nipping her way from Quinn's thigh up to her tastefully trimmed vulva. She dragged her nose through parted lips, her tongue flicking against the length of Quinn. Quinn tasted just as exquisite as she smelled. It was sharp and tangy and different than anything she'd ever experienced, but she knew she wanted more. Rachel leaned back and took in the sight of Quinn open and wet and waiting before she leaned forward and slid her tongue against Quinn.

Rachel enjoyed feel of Quinn's hips bucking against her, her name on Quinn's lips as the woman vocalized her pleasure. She loved feeling Quinn's quivering body against her as she hit yet another spot that drove Quinn wild. There was nothing like watching Quinn coming undone against her, under her. Rachel wanted to commit every touch, taste, sound, and feeling to memory. She wanted to be able to relive each breathy sigh at a moments thought. She wanted to recall the feel of skin beneath her fingers, knowing that she would be the only one to touch this way again. She wanted only the taste of Quinn on her lips for all time. The only applause she needed was hearing the way Quinn moaned her name and she wanted to never have another name grace Quinn's lips. Rachel wanted to devote herself to nothing more than Quinn's pleasure. She wanted to be the sole owner of Quinn's pleasure, her climax, and her release. She wanted to be the one to build her up and shatter her with pleasure. She wanted to claim her, posses her, be possessed by her. Rachel allowed herself one last taste before she moved higher, rubbing the wetness she'd gathered against Quinn's stomach. She ran her tongue over the sticky trail, ignoring Quinn's disappointed groan as she rose to her knees, lathing her tongue over Quinn's toned abdomen.

Quinn's hooded eyes watched her every move as she leaned against the wall, unable to stop the way her body trembled in need. "Rae," she whispered, the word coated in need. Rachel growled, honest to goodness growled as she nipped at Quinn's stomach. Quinn felt a small orgasm slide down her spine at the primal sound that ripped from her diva's lips. Rachel slid up Quinn's body; her fierce kiss as surprising as the way the small woman gasped her thighs and lifted from the floor. Quinn moaned into Rachel's mouth as she wrapped her legs around Rachel's tiny waist, amazed at just how strong and powerful Rachel truly was. Her tiny display at the bar had nothing on this moment.

Rachel ripped her mouth away and adjusted her stance, balancing Quinn between herself and the wall as her fingers had found their way to Quinn's core and plunged their way into her depths, pumping in and out of her in erratic thrusts. Rachel had taken Quinn before, but this, this was different. It was raw and primal and hungry. Rachel bit into Quinn's neck, overcome with a need to claim Quinn completely. Quinn broke away from her kiss and looked down at Rae, panting heavily as she registered the look in her sparkling brown eyes as Rachel slammed into her. Rae was completely dominating her, and Quinn felt her body tremble in response.

Her moans started out soft and breathy, but as Rachel's steady rhythm picked up and her fingers began to pump in and out with more determination, Quinn's moans came from grew louder, faster, swallowing the silence between them. Rachel felt sweat drip down her back, mixing with the arousal sliding down her thighs. She was drenched in the feeling of Quinn, throbbing from the sound of her husky moans breathed into the space between them. Every stroke over Rachel's fingers against her inner walls had Quinn crying out. Her body trembled with the pleasure that was rapidly growing.

Quinn tried to move her hips, finding herself pinned so beautifully between Rachel's lithe body and the wall. Rachel's hips where pressing against her with every thrust of her fingers and she was hitting Quinn so perfectly in the exact right spot that Quinn knew the end would come hard and fast. "Oh god, Rae. Don't stop."

"Fuck, Quinn." Rachel's arms and legs burned with effort of holding Quinn as she slammed her fingers into hot, wet heat. She never knew such raw, primal power and the evidence of its arousal was dripping down her thighs.

"Rachel," Quinn moaned, her fingers digging almost painfully into Rachel's neck. "Rae, look at me," Quinn's voice was so low and sex filled that Rachel's eyes snapped up, locking onto hazy green eyes that were fill with such love and devotion and a thousand words that they stole Rachel's breath. Rachel held Quinn's gaze, taking in every expression as she continued to slide her fingers in and out of Quinn's slick center. Quinn was close they both knew it. With their gazes still locked, Rachel turned her wrist, sliding her palm against Quinn's clit as she thrust her fingers in and out rapidly. Quinn's eyes stayed on Rachel's for as long as she could as she cried out in pleasure, until it all became too much. Shuddering, Quinn's eyes clamped shut as her body tensed, fighting to hold off her climax for as long as she could, wanting to stay forever in this moment.

Rachel's nipped and sucked hard on Quinn's neck, wanting to mark her, wanting everyone who didn't already know that this woman was hers and hers alone. Quinn's moans were getting louder and closer together and she knew it wouldn't take much to push the woman over the edge. She was so close, so completely under Rachel's control. Rachel wanted nothing more than to see this beautiful creature come undone against her. She wanted nothing more than to be the cause of it. Rachel fingers curled up, hooking into Quinn's walls. Rachel applied more pressure to her palm, gently rubbing it over Quinn's throbbing clit.

"Come on, _mon chaton_, cum for me."

The words and pressure against Quinn's clit was all she needed. Her back arched off the wall as she called out Rachel's name, shattering against her fingers. Her legs tightened around Rachel's tiny hips, her entire body seized in white, hot, pleasure. Rachel slowed her thrust, watching in awe as Quinn came against her fingers, her head thrown back, panting out her release. Rachel held her, her thighs shaking and burning with the strain, but she refused to let go as she watched Quinn slowly came down from her high, relaxing and going limp against her. Quinn's legs loosened slightly, allowing Rachel to pull out and gently cup Quinn's sex, smiling at the throb of Quinn's clit against her palm and the aftershocks that shook the body in her grasp. She held her, palm gently pressed against her clit, until Quinn grabbed at her wrist and nodded. Rachel slowly lowered Quinn's legs to the floor and wrapped the taller woman in her arms, holding her upright as her love fought control of her body. Quinn's head fell forward as she panted against Rachel's shoulder.

"Remind me," she breathed out, "to send a thank you letter... to whatever god created the elliptical."

Quinn smiled as Rachel threw her head back and laughed loudly.

* * *

"Open up bitches. I know you're in there!"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she opened the door, only to be pushed aside. "Well hello to you too, April."

"Don't get snarky with me, Fa-gay. I'm mad at you."

"Rachel, we have a guest." Quinn yelled into the next room as she watched their redheaded friend collapse on the couch, dropping a handful of bags on the table as she did.

"Whose here?" Rachel asked as she walked out of the bedroom, still drying her hair.

Quinn pointed to the woman who was looking from her to Rachel and back.

"Your hair is wet. Both of your hair is wet."

Rachel smiled softly gently and threw her towel over her shoulder as she stepped up next to Quinn. "Hello, April."

"It's not raining."

Rachel wrapped her arm around Quinn's waist and kissed her cheek, ignoring the other woman. "I'm going to make a coffee. Would you like one?"

Quinn leaned into Rachel's side embrace and kissed her forehead. "Please hurry. I'm going to need you to keep me from strangling her."

Rachel smiled and met Quinn's lips with her own briefly. "Play nice."

"No promises." Quinn said a bit louder as her girlfriend spun away from her, dropping a kiss on a stunned redhead's head as she walked grinned at the stupefied look. "Well we already know you're a ginger and have no soul. Did Leanan sídhe take your tongue too?"

April's jaw snapped shut. "Lean on what?"

"Leanan. An Irish dark fairy that seduces and steals the life of struggling young artist, musicians, and actors." Quinn waved her off. The explanation wasn't important. She doubted April would get her reference even if she went into a long drawn out explanation anyway. "What are you doing here?"

"Being mad at you."

"Can't you be mad at me at your place?"

"Probably but it's much easier to be mad at you in person. You can't see my hate eyes from home."

Quinn flopped back on a chair and pushed April's knee with the toe of her slipper. "Rachel, she's giving me hate eyes."

"April, be nice."

"I can't pretend to be nice when I'm mad at you. Both. I'm mad at you both." April clarified as Rachel leaned into the room and raised her eyebrow. "I can't believe you couldn't call and tell me you were finally getting some lady lovin'!"

Rachel shook her head and went back to making their coffee, thankful the hotel had a Keurig. If she had to leave the two of them together long enough to brew two actual cups of coffee she was sure Quinn would be ready to throttle their friend. She listened to Quinn exasperated tone as she berated April for interrupting their retreat "for something so trivial" and smiled.

"That's huge!" She heard April argue as she walked back in the room. April had her arms crossed across her chest as she glared at her co-star. "And I'm mad at you guys for being gone so long."

"We missed you too, April." Rachel handed Quinn her coffee before sitting next to the crazy ginger woman that had invade their hotel.

"I never said I missed you guys."

"Well, regardless, we missed you. Isn't that right, Quinn?"

Quinn gave an exasperated sigh and threw up her hands. "We just saw her two weeks ago at your birthday party!"

"Quinn." As much as Quinn pretended to be irritated, she had saw the happiness hiding in Quinn's eyes. Quinn may not have been completely thrilled that April had shown up, but she _was_ happy to see her friend. Honestly, Rachel was too. She hadn't realized until that moment that she had truly missed the vivacious redhead and the smell of the sun and fresh air. She missed the warmth that you just couldn't find in New York. She missed their house and the sound of the waves crashing outside their bedroom window. Quinn caught the look on Rachel's face but was unsure what to make of it. One second it was there and the next it was gone, replaced with a patient stare. Quinn rolled her eyes and groaned into her coffee.

"Fine. We missed you. Now can you leave?"

"If I leave then how are we going to have dinner together?" April leaned forward and unzipped an insulated bag, the smell instantly filling the room. "I got tom yum soup, tofu green curry, steamed dumplings, and some lettuce wraps."

Quinn narrowed her eyes at her co-star; she loved April, she did, but sometimes the woman was conniving and irritating and more trouble than she was worth. She knew April, and when April brought food she was usually up to something. "You were mad at us but brought us Thai?"

"I said that I missed you guys. Can't you be nice and say thank you?"

"No, you specifically said that you never said it."

Rachel shook her head, trying to keep up with their badinage. It was like watching a tennis match as they went back and forth. Rachel chuckled as April rolled her eyes and snorted. "Well, I did. So there, it's now been said. Now can we eat?"

"No."

Rachel cocked her head to the side as April asked the question that flashed in her own eyes. "No?"

"No. Not until you tell us why you're really here. I've slept with women before Rachel and you've never been pissed about it."

April looked over at Rachel who was biting her lip and looking down into her lap. "Okay, that was bitchy and insensitive. _They_ weren't Rachel –who you seriously need to be nicer to. So get your head out of your ass. I missed you guys and I thought you guys might want some help running some damage control."

"April, as much as we appreciate your visit and wonderful refreshment," Rachel interrupted the banter that had begun to loose it's playfulness, "I think I speak for both Quinn and myself when I say that we and our teams have this under control."

April snorted in derision and stood up, walking across the room to the small kitchenette. "Right. Have either of you even checked your Twitter accounts? Seen the Vine's being made of your… ahem… your "dance?" April made air quotes and chuckled as she reached for plates. "There are pictures of the two of you everywhere. You are both Instagram famous –pictures of you together on there have gained thousands of comments. There are videos, fanpics and manipulations, stories being written, Tumblr comment chains. You two have dominated social media without even trying."

"We're always all over social media." Quinn shrugged as she watched April gather plates and silverware.

"Not like this. Your fans are begging for an explanation. Some of them are happy for you. Others not so much. And since you two are maintaining radio silence, they're digging." April sat down the china and pulled out her phone, quickly typing out a search before she held it out for Quinn. "Here."

Quinn rolled her eyes and took the overly bedazzled phone, remembering a similar design on Rachel's in high school, sure that whatever big controversy April had found was nothing worse than what they were already facing. Quinn's brow rose as she looked at the screen.

Rachel watched the color drain from Quinn's face and stood to move closer. "Quinn?"

"McKinley." Quinn handed Rachel the phone when the brunette sat next to her. "If they've found our yearbook pictures, it's only a matter of time before they find out the rest."

"They know we both went to school together. That's never been something we hid."

"But we've never been completely honest about our first three years in school together."

Rachel sighed and rubbed the back of Quinn's neck. "It was bound to come out eventually."

"Yes, but do we really need all of that, on top of all of this? And what about Beth? They're bound to find out more than I had a child in high school that I put up for adoption."

"Beth is a cutie. She looks just like you. And you look just like her mom." April pointed at Rachel.

"April." Rachel sighed. This wasn't something she really wanted to discuss with her. Or anyone. But Quinn was right, there was more than a slight chance that the media would get wind of everything. While it really wouldn't cause any more problems for them, she hated to think what might happen to her family and friends. Though, the more she thought about it, the more she did begin to worry about them. She still hadn't told Quinn about her past with her… 'over zealous' fans. If they got wind of the hell that Quinn had put her through in high school, she was nervous just what they might do.

"I'm just saying." April shrugged, opening containers as she did. "You two just need to get in front of it. Put yourselves out there. Feed them the information you want them to consume before it consumes you."

Quinn slid her arms around Rachel's waist and pulled her onto her lap, burying her head in damp brunette locks. "That was terrifying."

"Hey, I can talk smart too. Especially when I'm hungry. Can we think and eat at the same time?" April asked as she bit into a dumpling. "If it helps, I have an idea."

* * *

**The lines about the anxiety from paparazzi came from Jennifer Lawrence. There was another reference in here somewhere but… I can't remember where because this chapter took entirely too long to write. The last month and a half for me personally has been beyond difficult and I tried to keep this story from reflecting that. Which meant it took a long time and a few rewrites. It ended up coming out better than I expected –a bit of anxiety, a tiny bit of fluff, and a large helping of lady loving for our two new lovers! We also got to see a small amount of the hell Quinn and Rachel are about to go through but I promise it will all work out for the best. I just wonder what April is up to. (I honestly have no idea!) Any guesses?**

**P.S. Note: For the guest(s) who repeatedly review with complaints about the use of the moniker "Rae" I would point you to ****Chapter 8: F****rustration and Floats or Chapter: 15 Comfort and Stars. Both chapters contain ****lengthy explanations as to why Quinn insist on using such a "juvenile" nickname (your opinion not mine) in her own words. Though, i****f you've read this far, then I'm just going to assume you've read those chapters and are choosing to ignore that explanation. In which case, please feel free to come off of anon or PM me as I would enjoy having a lengthier discussion about your point of view. **


	24. Running and Staying

**Just a short a/n but an important one: I truly know nothing about paparazzi, the stress of fame, or anything about PR. This is all purely fiction, though I did do a good bit of research before writing this chapter. If I messed up, it's totally on me, but I am trying hard to give an authentic representation of what they're going through. Oh, and since Quinn and Rachel are fully in their honeymoon stage about half of this chapter is NSFW. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Quinn, I'm serious. I don't think this is a good idea."

"So you've said. About a half dozen times already." " Quinn growled as she stepped around the small diva and grabbed her iPhone off the dock.

Rachel threw up her hands in frustration. "So why aren't you listening to me, then?"

Rachel swallowed as she watched as Quinn took her HBIC stance, the one she used to intimidate the student body of McKinley High, hands on her hips, legs shoulder width apart. It was all Rachel could do not to roll her eyes at the haughty look on the ex-cheerleader's face. Of course, she couldn't help but find it a bit sexy as well. She briefly wondered if she was a masochist, because where that stance once frightened her, now it kind of turned her on.

"I'm not listening because, in case you've forgotten just who I am, I am Quinn fuckin' Fabray. And no one is going to tell me I can't do something."

Rachel shook her head and smiled as she stepped closer to her stubborn, stubborn girlfriend, linking her hands through Quinn's arms and around her waist. "I'm really not trying to tell you what to do."

Quinn's eyes twinkled as she smiled down at Rachel, finally allowing her stance to soften. "I know _you_ aren't. It's everyone else."

"We're just trying to protect you. We agreed to stay in this godforsaken hotel because it was safer."

Quinn kissed the tip of Rachel's nose as she wrapped her around the smaller woman. "And I will still be safe. It's not like I plan on walking out into a crowd of photographers waving a bright rainbow flag like a matador cape. I'm sneaking out the side door and going for a jog."

Rachel huffed out a sigh as she laid her head on Quinn's shoulder. She knew Quinn could be stubborn. And bullheaded. And utterly adorable. She just wanted her girlfriend to stay and keep her company. In their nice, safe hotel room. She ran through the words she could say to get Quinn to stay, quickly dismissing the idea of using guilt. She didn't really want to manipulate her pre say. She just wanted to convince her it was in her best interest to stay. She smirked to herself as she thought of a plan to keep Quinn safely in their hotel room.

"I know you'll try to be safe," she whispered as she slid her hand under the back of Quinn's tank top, "I just worry."

Quinn shivered as blunt nails raked gently across her spine. "I– I realize that and I'm not trying to mak–ke…" Quinn's words stuck in her throat as warm lips caressed her shoulder, making her lose her concentration, "make you worry." She stuttered out finally.

"You know," Rachel began as she let her hand wander between them, sliding slowly upward to cup her breast, "if you just need to blow off some steam…"

Quinn groaned as warm lips became open-mouthed kisses up her neck. "I know what you're doing." Quinn tried to shake off the immediate rush of arousal that flooded her, but Rachel was determined, her hands becoming more focused, her lips finding that place right behind Quinn's ear that she was sure the conniving diva knew made her knees weak.

"Mmmm, you do, hmmm? Is it working?"

Quinn shuddered at the vibration of the words mumbled against her skin and fought between two warring needs. It was working, very, very well. But she also knew it as much as she would love nothing more than to fall back in bed with Rachel, she needed to get out of their hotel room even more. If only for a half an hour. She just needed to feel in control again.

Rachel sighed as Quinn's hands grasped her arms, not pushing her away, but enough that she knew her plan had failed. Rachel dropped her hands to Quinn's hips and rested her head on Quinn's shoulder.

"Hey, you know it's not because I don't love the offer right? I just, I need to…" Quinn's words were cut off by two soft lips barely brushing against her own.

"I get it, Quinn. I do. Just please, please be careful."

Quinn ran her fingers along Rachel's cheek before cupping her face gently. She slowly tilted her head to the side as her fingers slipped into dark hair. "I promise." She whispered against lips that she tenderly claimed as her own.

Quinn slid her phone into her armband and headed down the stairs. If she was honest, she knew it was a risk to go for a jog but she was tired of being cooped up. It had only been a day and a half and she already felt like she was losing her mind. Granted, they'd used their time together well, getting to know each other on a more physical level, but there was only so much sex you could have before even it became mundane. Not that it had, but Quinn refused to let it get to that point before their relationship really even took off. Quinn shook her head as she made it down the flights of stairs that stood between her and fresh air. She doubted making love to Rachel would ever become mundane. The woman was pure passion.

She tried clearing out her mind as she began to weave through the light foot traffic that filled the sidewalks near the hotel. While she preferred Pilates or dance, Quinn knew she was one of the lucky ones, the ones who eventually gained their mobility back and she loved being able to stretch her legs and just run. She loved the pure feeling of her muscles moving, her feet hitting the pavement, the sound of her heart pumping, the way the air filled her lungs. She would push herself until the world faded and those were the only things she knew. Quinn knew her body had a limit though and had trained herself while still at Yale to know when to stop before her back began to spasm. She sighed as she realized that today she wasn't even going to get close to that point.

Quinn growled as she slyly looked over her shoulder to find where the tale tell sound of a shutter clicking rapidly behind her was coming from, only then noticing the car tailing her. Quinn rolled her eyes and cursed beneath her breath as she quickly ducked down a side road, knowing it would only temporarily slow down her pursuers. She weighed her options, knowing she had to head back no matter how much she just wanted to run. Quinn circled the large city block, dodging around people and keeping out of the line of sight of the cameras as much as possible. As she rounded the corner towards the hotel Quinn muttered under her breath; the side door she had snuck out of ten minutes before was now surrounded by paps already pointing their cameras in her direction.

"Miss Fabray! Miss Fabray!"

"Watch out! Can you look up?"

"Looking good Quinn! Look this way."

"Please give us a shot? Come on!"

She was still a ways away when the shouting began. Quinn pivoted and turned towards the main entrance –at least there she knew there would be some sort of doorman and security guard to help her run interference. _Fuck, why did I have to be so stupid! I could be making love to a gorgeous woman and instead I'm out here dealing with these pests._ Quinn growled at herself as she moved her legs faster as the paparazzi gave chase.

"Quinn, can you tell us about that dance?"

"Was Rachel just a fling?"

"Did something happen between you two on the set of Steel?"

"Is Miss Berry staying in this hotel as well?"

"Quinn can you tell us about your relationship with Rachel Berry?" "Please Miss Fabray just a quick shot!"

Quinn gritted her teeth as she was surrounded, happy that the men were at least keeping a respectable distance as she slowed down.

"Quinn can you confirm or deny your relationship with Rachel?"

"How long have you and Miss Berry been together?"

"Come on Quinn, give us a smile!" Quinn rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses.

"Do you have any comments for the fans you've disappointed?"

The last question hit her ears as the doorman held the ornate door open for her, smiling as she jogged passed him into the cool interior, not stopping until she'd hit the stairwell. "Fuck." Quinn dropped her hands to her knees and fought to catch her breath before she slowly began to ascend the stairs.

Rachel jumped as the door to their suite slammed open and a livid Quinn Fabray stalked into the room.

"I don't give a fuck who you have to talk to, or what deals you have to make, either you find us a way to address this now, by tomorrow at the latest, or we're handling it our own way!"

Rachel cringed as she watched Quinn's Bluetooth fly across the room, thankful that it hadn't hit a wall and shattered, but landed on the plush carpet floor. She didn't know the details, but she had a sinking feeling just what had happened. Quinn had barely been gone fifteen minutes. She sat still as she watched Quinn pace, trying not to make any sudden movements that would startle the obviously upset woman. Rachel smiled slightly as Quinn seemed to run out of steam and collapsed on the couch next to her, her head falling gracelessly onto Rachel's lap.

"April's harebrained scheme is sounding better and better."

"April's idea is not harebrained or you wouldn't be currently entertaining the idea of going along with it."

Quinn huffed and lifted her head like a cat waiting to be scratched. As soon as Rachel's hands sifted through her hair she relaxed against Rachel's legs. "I still think it's stupid. I'm just tired of waiting around."

"Tina is trying to get us on with Ellen or Chelsea but we're still looking at a few days."

"I don't want to wait a few days. I don't want to not even be able to step outside without being bombarded by cameras and questions and having the fact that we disappointed our fans shoved in my face."

"That rough?"

Quinn shrugged and looked up at the woman treating her with such care. "They weren't horrible. They at least gave me some space to finish my jog, but that's not the point."

"I could always have the PR people we pay so well call a few reliable paparazzi? Only give the shots to people we know are reliable."

"Eww. No. We're not become the Kardashians or some other sleazy celebrity who have the paps on speed dial. Thanks but no thanks."

Rachel shrugged. It wasn't her first choice either but it was known to be done. "What are you thinking then?"

"I think we either become hermits or we get smart. If LCC or Tina can't secure us something by tomorrow, we sell our story to the highest bidder."

"Quinn." Rachel sighed.

"No, hear me out." Quinn sat up and turned towards Rachel, taking her hand in between her own. "Tonight is New Years Eve so only the most dedicated journalist will even be at their desk tomorrow. We give them then a dead line. Say 10 p.m. tomorrow night? Whoever has the highest bid, that we both agree on, wins our story." Quinn watched as Rachel began to think it over. She wasn't outright objecting so she knew Rachel was at least listening. She crossed her fingers as she threw out her trump car. "Think about it, Rae. We get to do it on our timetable not theirs. We get to scoop the paps, stealing the story from them, which will get them off our back a little bit. Meaning we can go home. And if we do it this way, we get to decide who publishes, who gets the pictures, and the money from it can go to any charity you like."

Rachel shifted in her seat. She had to admit that it sounded like the perfect plan. They wouldn't be waiting two weeks to get on a tv show. As much as she loved Tina, Tina was still a businesswoman and would go about it her own way. This way they'd be in control, not their handlers. And if she was honest, she loved the idea of donating to charity, though she knew Quinn was well aware of her need to give back and had used that to her advantage.

"While I don't like the fact that you used my humanitarianism endeavors to try and persuade me to your side, I do like that you know me well enough to know that that would be a huge selling point for me." She held up her hand to forestall any apology from Quinn. "I will concede that it was a very effective maneuver and I have taken your points into consideration. While I still think that April's suggestion of using social media to our advantage has merit, I believe that your idea would be more practical and I think we should phone our people as soon as possible to get the word out. But, that does raise another question."

Quinn swallowed, wondering what other roadblock her girlfriend was planning on putting in their way. She let her eyebrow lift in question and waited for the other shoe to drop.

"As you mentioned, though it is still early in the day, today is in fact New Years Eve. Do you think that it's wise to do this now?"

Quinn sighed and leaned back on the couch. "I do. I want this over with. I want to go home with you. I want to have a few days just being before we have to return to our crazy schedules. I just want to be. I want you to make me crazy food that I would never eat for anyone else. I want to go sit on our patio and watch the sunset over the water. I want to teach you how to actually swim in the ocean instead of just bouncing through the waves. And when you finally realize the waves aren't there to attack you," Quinn smiled at her girlfriend and played with her fingers, lessening the blow, "I want to teach you to surf."

Rachel smiled at the thought. It all sounded beautiful and wonderful and just… perfect. "I want to cuddle with you in front of the fire. And sit next to you as you read through your scripts. I want to invite our friends and family out and have a huge barbeque. I want a life with you, Quinn. And if it means waiting, and wading through this mess to get it, well I always get what I want in the end."

"And you're sure? That you want this?" Quinn asked, lifting their linked fingers. "You want me?"

Rachel smiled and nodded, leaning forward to lay a gentle kiss on Quinn's soft pink lips. "I don't believe I've ever wanted anything more."

Quinn melted at the soft-spoken words as she pulled Rachel into her arms and leaned against the arm of the couch. "Okay."

Rachel snuggled into Quinn's chest, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Quinn, her arms sliding between the beautiful woman and the couch. The two were content for the moment just to be, just to enjoy each other's company. There was no need for words. No overwhelming desire. Just comfort and love and peace.

"You know…" Rachel heard the words rumble through her ear, "today is New Year's Eve."

"Mmm." Rachel hummed in acknowledgement.

"Do you not have anything you want to do?"

Rachel huffed out a laugh and hugged Quinn tighter. "Don't you think we did enough celebrating already?"

Quinn chuckled softly as she began to run her fingers through Rachel's hair. "Point taken. But if you wanted, we could find something? A private party? A quiet restaurant? We could even invite some people here?" She stopped when she felt Rachel shake her head against her chest.

"I'm good with this. Right here." She said softly as she squeezed Quinn just a bit tighter before relaxing again.

"You really don't mind spending our first New Year's together cuddled up together doing nothing?"

Rachel raised her head and looked up at Quinn, searching her face, which at that moment was as unreadable as ever. She began to wonder if Quinn was asking because there was something she wanted to do. It wouldn't be fair for her to make the decision on her own. She wasn't on her own anymore and she wasn't dating someone that she minded pushing over. That's how it had been once. She would make a decision without worrying about what the other person thought about it.

Quinn watched the frown form between Rachel's eyes and wondered what was going on in that big brain of hers. Quinn lifted her fingers and rubbed the worry line away. "What?"

"Do I make you do things you don't want to?"

Quinn slid her fingers through Rachel's hair, brushing it over her tanned shoulder. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just… do I?" Rachel insisted.

Quinn's lips turned up slightly and she shook her head minutely. "Rae, when has anyone ever made me do something I don't want to do? Now, tell me what this is about?"

Rachel leaned on her elbow as she looked away. "I have this… habit… of being selfish and overbearing."

"You? No? I would have never guessed."

Rachel's eyes shot up and glared at the sarcastic remark. She lightly swatted Quinn's stomach. "I'm being serious, Quinn."

"Yes, I know and that's the problem. Relax. I would tell you if you were pushing me and you're not. You're not forcing me to do anything, not that you could. I know who you are and how you behave. Hey, listen to me for a minute. I need you to understand that I'm not walking into this relationship with blinders on. I know all about your flaws, just like you know mine. And they're not going to make me change how I feel about you."

Rachel took a deep breath and saw the truth of Quinn's words reflected in her hazel eyes. "I… yes, you're right. I just would appreciate it if you would be willing to tell me if you ever feel like I'm overriding your opinions with the stubborn attitude."

Quinn smiled and nodded. "I'll even promise to try not to be a bitch about it when I do." Quinn's grin grew when she saw her remark had got her the smile she was hoping for. "As for tonight, you're not pushing your will on me, if that's what you're worried about. I am perfectly fine with staying in with you, just the two of us, cuddled up doing nothing. I was just giving you options if you really did want to do something."

Rachel let her body fall against Quinn's, fitting perfectly into her arms. "Then I'm perfect right here."

"Yes, you are. But…" Quinn's stomach growled, loudly. "… you're going to have to feed me soon."

Rachel laughed into Quinn's shoulder before she lifted her head, grin fully in place. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not in the last twenty minutes or so."

"Way too long." Rachel said as she leaned down and kissed Quinn thoroughly. She shifted her body closer, deepening their kiss.

_Grrrrr_

The women froze, their mouth's still pressed together, as Quinn's stomach roared. Rachel laughed at the stunned expression on Quinn's face as she glared down at her traitorous stomach.

"Maybe we should…" Quinn tilted her head towards the kitchen.

"And quickly." Rachel sniggered as she stood up, reaching her hand down for Quinn's. "I'd hate for that lion to escape." 

* * *

"You two cannot be serious? Do you realize this could blow up in your faces?" Rachel and Quinn watched as the small Asian woman paced furiously through their suite as she had been doing for the last fifteen minutes.

"Like it hasn't already?"

"We can handle that. But doing this? People are going to think you're trying to turn a profit, that you set this all up! It's like a huge, staged publicity stunt! I know I said that that a diva doesn't settle for less than what she wants, and she won't apologize for wanting it, but this? This is insanity!"

"Okay, you know what? Enough." Quinn's firm words stopped Tina in her tracks. Quinn had listened to Tina rant for long enough and she was done. They'd laid out a very logical plan of action and Tina had lost it. Quinn had bit her lip, counted to a thousand, had tried to keep her cool, but she was done. "You don't get to decide what we do. You can either help us, or get the hell out of the way. Either way, this is going to happen."

Rachel looked over at Quinn and licked her lips. She knew now so wasn't the time, but an authoritative Quinn just did something to her. Rachel shook her head and turned back to her manager with a small shrug. "She's right, Tina. I can't force you to make the calls, but as my manager and agent, as my friend, I hope you can see the is some advantages of doing this."

"But it's such…"

"We know your hesitation and we've taken note of it. With the understanding that the proceeds go to charity, it is unlikely that anyone will assume that we are trying to profit from our mistake. But if this does, as you say, blow up in our faces, then at least it happened on our terms."

"You two are determined to do this then?"

Rachel looked over at Quinn who stood leaning against the window of their suite and watched the blonde give her a small nod. "We are." She answered for both of them.

Tina lifted her phone and checked the time. "You two don't leave me with a lot of options. Or a lot of time. There is barely eight hours until the ball drops. And that's LA time. That means it's already seven in New York. Do you know how hard it is going to be to find anyone willing to make a deal like this on New Years Eve?"

Quinn shrugged with indifference. "I already have my people on it. If they want the story, they'll do what they have to do. The bidding deadline is tomorrow at 6 pm. We'll have our choice made by seven. Then they have twenty-four hours to set it up. That's the deal. Or we go April's route and take to Twitter or Reddit AMA."

"THAT is what she suggested?" Tina stumbled back into a chair growing paler by the second. "I'll make the calls. I'll find someone. Just… don't do that."

"I thought it was a grand idea." Rachel shrugged and looked over her shoulder at Quinn.

"I know you did." The woman rolled her eyes affectionately as she pushed off the glass wall. Rachel's eyes followed the slight sway of Quinn's hips as she stepped around the couch, stopping directly in front of her. "And I told you both at the time it was a horrible idea."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as Quinn's eyes raked up and down her body before she shot Rachel a knowing smirk and sat down beside her. Rachel's eyes connected with the hazel ones staring at her with a mischievous challenge filling them.

"The idea in itself was not the bad." Rachel said after a moment, her gaze still locked with her lovers. "April was correct that I have develop a rather extensive fan base, as have you, and that we could potentially put it to use. You have a devoted twitter and instagram following and if you bothered to look at any of your accounts when we asked you to, you would see that you have just as many fans clamoring for answers as I do."

Rachel had taken her challenge and ran with it, slowly licking her lips, daring Quinn to break eye contact. Quinn waggled her eyebrows and smiled, losing interest in the conversation all together. She vaguely heard Asian Persuasion listing off various reasons why it would be a bad idea, but it was just background noise as Rachel stared into her eyes. She realized just how lost she could get in them. She once heard a quote by Sophia Loren that went something like, "Beauty is how you feel inside and it reflects in your eyes." For that reason and so many more, Quinn knew Rachel was the most beautiful person he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Are you two even listening to me any more?" Tina threw up her hands in exasperation. Of course not. Her two friends had fallen into some love-induced trance. She wondered briefly if her and Mike had looked like that back in high school before she shrugged off the thought. "Well, seeing as it's apparent I'm no longer needed here, I guess I'll go to save your sorry asses."

"Yeah, yeah. Go flap your wings somewhere else, Chinkerbell." Quinn waved her off, smiling as the woman huffed and stormed out.

Quinn watched out of the corner of her eye as Rachel bit her lip and tried not to smile. "Quinn, that was quite unnecessary."

Quinn chuckled. "Perhaps. But it was still worth it."

Rachel shook her head and finally gave into the grin that was pulling at her lips. "Her diva storm have improved."

"Have they? I can honestly say I wasn't paying attention." Quinn smiled, still staring into Rachel's eyes, unwilling to break this strange connection between them, even as Rachel's eyes twinkled with laughter.

"You're incorrigible."

"You're too far away." Quinn said as she reached out and pulled on Rachel's hips, dragging the smaller woman closer.

Rachel shook her head softly as she slowly closed the gap between them. "And you have far too many clothes on."

"See, now I am beginning to think you have something against my clothes." Quinn quipped as she met Rachel halfway.

"I do." Rachel breathed against Quinn's lips. "You keep insist on putting them on."

Quinn smiled into their kiss. She would have never guessed back in high school just how much of a turn on Rachel talking could be. She remembered a time where Rachel had told her that girls wanted sex just as much as boys. At the time, she had thought Rachel was insane, but now, she just couldn't seem to get enough of Rachel. She still wasn't quite sure how she ended up falling for the diva in her arms, but she was thrilled she'd finally let her walls down to let Rachel in.

The two women slowly stumbled their way to the bedroom, too wrapped in kissing each other to let go. Rachel tumbled onto the bed as it hit the back of her knees, pulling Quinn with her. Together they slowly crawled towards the center of the large bed, Quinn pulling her shirt over her head as she moved. She needed to feel the heat of Rachel's skin against her own. Rachel quickly worked on removing her yoga pants, flinging her shirt off as she watched Quinn pull and yank on her clothes until they were left in various place around the room, tossed without a care.

The moment Quinn was free of the cloth her lips immediately came back to claim Rachel's as she settled her body against the naked one beneath her. Their kisses were hard and wet and heavy as hands skimmed over exposed skin. Rachel nipped at Quinn's lip, causing the taller woman to sink even further into her, making Rachel moan in delight. The sound hit Quinn's core, leaving her breathless.

Quinn's lips slowed as they traveled up Rachel's jaw, licking and nipping at the soft skin. "I can't seem to get enough of you."

Rachel shivered at the intensity of Quinn's words and nodded. "I hope you never do."

Quinn paused at the breathy reply and pulled back. She needed to look at Rachel, to make her know that this was never going to stop. "I never will." Quinn responded as she nuzzled her nose against Rachel's.

Their lips slowly came back together, their kisses losing their intensity. Though the passion still burned beneath, their kisses were different, softer, holding more meaning and emotion. This time Quinn wanted to savor it. She wanted to taste it and hold it in her hands. She cradled Rachel gently as she worshiped her mouth, showering her in a series of never ending kisses until they were both breathless and craving more. Quinn nipped at Rachel's bottom lip, sucking it gently before soothing it with her tongue. Rachel whimpered into the kiss as her hands traveled the length of Quinn's back. She let her fingers worship every dip, every muscle, loving the feel of the heated skin beneath her fingertips. Quinn moaned softly as a shiver raced down her spine, following the path of Rachel's blunted nails. She pulled away until she was gazing down into Rachel's eyes, dark with desire. They gazed at each other, unable, unwilling to break away. Neither of them had ever felt something so intense, so overwhelming and intimate. Quinn felt her chest grow heavy and tears prick at her eyes and she couldn't help but felt like she would overflow with the love she held for Rachel. She needed her, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually. She needed her in this moment, but also for every moment throughout her life. She needed Rachel to know that, to understand just how much she meant to Quinn.

Quinn's blonde head dipped down, her lips grazing Rachel's neck. The diva gave a shuddery sigh as she tilted back her head, allowing her eyes to flutter closed. Rachel's chest ached with love while her body ached with need. Quinn hot mouth trailed kissed along her neck, pausing to suck softly at her pulse point, pulling a soft moan from Rachel's throat. Rachel's hips canted up as lips trailed up to her ear, ghosting a kiss over it, but it was ultimately Quinn's words that had Rachel's soaring, had Rachel falling apart with the intensity of the moment.

"I love you," Quinn whispered softly, placing another kiss on Rachel's ear before trailing her way down her neck again. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut tighter, feeling hot tears pressing at her lashes from the overwhelming emotions she felt. She'd heard those words spoke to her by a dozen people in a dozen different ways and she had never felt them as much as she did in this moment.

Quinn kissed her way down Rachel's chest, pausing only briefly at the shuddered breath she felt beneath her lips. Her eyes travelled up, taking in Rachel's tightly closed eyes, her lips parted as she fought for breath. Quinn let her lips lower, encircled a dusky nipple into her mouth, sucking at it gently as her tongue swirled around the sensitive bud. First one, then the other, slowly teasing both peaks as Rachel's breathing increased.

Rachel swallowed roughly as a tear snuck from the corner of her eye and quickly disappeared into the pillow beneath her. Rachel slid her fingers into Quinn's mane of blonde hair, holding Quinn in place as she silently begged her to continue. Quinn whimpered softly at each slight tug of dainty fingers on her scalp as her teeth barely grazed each hard point before she returned to suck on them again. Quinn began to feel the magnitude of Rachel's need and slowly kissed her way up, pressing a gentle kiss to her lovers parted lips. The soft kiss forced the air from Rachel's lungs, her eyes fluttering open at the touch. Quinn smiled softly down at her as she ran her thumb over her cheek, wiping away the trail of wetness that streaked down its side. Quinn's hand gently caressed the side of Rachel's face before it began a slow journey down, wedging between their bodies.

"I want to show you," Quinn whispered as she lowered another delicate kiss to Rachel's lips, "just how much I love you. I want you to feel it." Quinn's lips lingered longer, emphasizing her words.

Rachel clung to Quinn, gazing up into hazel eyes as Quinn's fingers brushed between her thighs. Rachel parted her legs and Quinn adjusted herself over Rachel, allowing her hand a better angle. Two fingers trailed through the moisture that had begun to accumulate, then came up to lightly rub Rachel's clit. Rachel's soft gasp echoed in Quinn's ears as she lowered her lips to Rachel's collarbone and trailed kisses across her naturally tanned skin. The fingers spent a few more moments in teasing movement before they dipped down lower, slipping through Rachel's folds. Rachel bit back a whimper as Quinn's fingers paused at her entrance, almost as if she was seeking permission. Rachel shut her eyes once more; reeling from the feel of Quinn's hands so intimately on her, her kisses dancing across her chest. Rachel let out a shuddery sigh, mixed with words in the softest voice.

"Take me, Quinn."

Fingers entered her slowly, sinking in to the hilt before pulling out partially and sliding back in. Rachel groaned softly, raising her hips to meet Quinn's movements. She shivered in pleasure as Quinn's fingers slid in, curling up to press against her innermost walls before pulling out to stroke her clit over and over. Rachel hadn't realized Quinn had moved from her breast until she was being kissed again, gently, as if she were something to cherish.

Quinn pressed kisses to Rachel's cheeks, she kissed the tip of her nose, her eyelids, her brow, before she let their foreheads press together. They remained like that, Quinn absorbing Rachel's soft panting and feminine moans as she worked her fingers inside her with slow, steady strokes. The tickle of Quinn's hot breath against her cheek was comforting as she felt the beginning of an orgasm begin to pool inside her. Rachel rocked steadily against Quinn's fingers, the feel of her so overwhelming and pleasurable that Rachel was almost sure her heart would burst the moment Quinn finally pushed her over the edge. She held on to Quinn, fingers digging into her shoulder blades as she gasped her name softly.

The sensual noises dropping from Rachel's lips had her own arousal dripping onto Rachel's thigh as she unconsciously rocked against it, seeking out some relief from the aching between her thighs. Quinn grunted as small hands grabbed at her hips and pulled her harder against the strong dancer's thigh, which had risen to press further against her heat. Her fingers hesitated as she began to move her hips with more purpose. Rachel felt the wetness at her thigh and moaned softly, getting wetter just from knowing how aroused Quinn was. Her muscles contracted around Quinn's fingers. There was nothing better than the feel of Quinn against her, the feel of Quinn pleasuring her as she slowly pleasured herself against Rachel. Rachel's fingers trailed up her back slowly, her once soft moans increasing in volume with Quinn's movements. Everything about the moment was perfect. Everything was okay, and Quinn knew without a doubt that Rachel was the only person she ever wanted to be with again for the rest of her life.

Rachel looked up to see Quinn's face, eyes closed in both concentration and pleasure as she pressed harder against her thigh, her fingers moving between Rachel's legs quicker. She watched the flash of need that filled Quinn's eyes as they met her own and Rachel felt her own hunger grow. She needed Quinn to feel what she was feeling, she needed to satisfy Quinn. She forced Quinn to lift slightly and slid a hand between Quinn's legs. Quinn groaned as she impaled herself on talented fingers, rubbing harder against Rachel's clit as Rachel curled two fingers deep inside her, her palm pressed flat against Quinn's throbbing clit. The two women rocked into each other's hands, panting heavily as the first teasing wave of pleasure came over them.

"God, you feel so good," Quinn moaned, thrusting her hips slightly as Rachel's fingers sunk into her. Rachel could only moan in reply, words lost in her throat as she felt Quinn's velvety walls hug her fingers. Rachel name slipped out of Quinn's mouth, cursing beneath her breath as Rachel replied with movements, pumping her fingers in and out of Quinn with precise movements, hitting the spots inside of her that drove her wild. She knew Quinn was almost as close as she was, she knew they were moments away from falling over the edge together. Quinn's husky moans mingled with Rachel's more feminine ones, filling the air of the hotel suite with a song all their own. The sound of their pleasure, of their wet skin pressing together cause Quinn to moan louder as she added a third finger, instantly feeling Rachel begin to tighten around her.

Rachel was caught by surprise and a sudden wave of pleasure from being stretched and filled so beautifully caused Rachel to moan, quick bucks of her hips telling Quinn she was close. "Don't stop, oh, right there, yes, Quinn, yes." Rachel was whimpering, eyes squeezed shut from the intensity as Quinn's fingers worked magic inside of her. She felt herself on the standing at the edge of the precipice that Quinn had led her too, knowing that any moment she would be spiraling off of it. Quinn continued her movements.

"That's it Rae, just let go. Come for me."

The words echoed through Rachel's body as she tensed up, every muscle in her body tightening as she clamped down around Quinn's fingers. Quinn stalled the rocking of her body as Rachel's movements stilled momentarily. Rachel let out a shuddery cry, mouth open in silent ecstasy as she pressed up into Quinn's fingers as hard as possible. A choked moan escaped her as Quinn gently flicked her thumb over Rachel's clit before Rachel was seized in another wave of pleasure. Encouraged, Quinn lightly stroked over Rachel's clit, rubbing gentle circles over it as Rachel convulsed, sharp intakes of breath and needy whimpers falling from her lips. After several seconds Rachel's walls released Quinn's fingers and Rachel let out a whoosh of air, panting heavily as she recovered from the intensity of the orgasm.

Quinn pressed a kiss to her forehead and Rachel looked up at her, eyes hungry and desperate. Quinn gasped as Rachel's fingers suddenly began to move between her wet thighs, taking Quinn by surprise as they began a desperate quest to drive her over the edge. Quinn struggled to keep her eyes open, to keep watching those intense brown eyes completely claim her, just as Rachel's hands did. She moaned as Rachel pulled at her hips, encouraging Quinn to thrust forward as she pivoted her fingers, curling up perfectly inside her.

"Fuck, Rae, I'm so close," she gasped, feeling her body begin to tremble.

Rachel hummed as she watched the woman above her start to unravel. Quinn's hair was standing in every direction, her pale skin flushed and glistening with perspiration, her hips her moving erratically as she fought to hold off her orgasm. Only one word came to mind as she watched her lover take her pleasure at the tips of her fingers.

"Beautiful."

The loving word caressed her as much as Rachel's touch was and it left Quinn shattered, coming completely undone against Rachel. She buried her face in Rachel's neck, moaning loudly and repeatedly as she arched into Rachel's touch. Rachel moved her palm gently against Quinn's clit, prolonging the pleasure as waves rippled through her body, her inner walls contracting repeatedly around Rachel's fingers.

It took several moments before Quinn could come down from the high she'd experienced. Rachel had since pulled out of her, covering them and wrapping an arm around her lightly as she slowly caught her breath. When Quinn was able to speak, she pulled away, looking up into Rachel's face. Rachel smiled up at her, and Quinn returned it happily before snuggling in closer. "Happy New Year, my love."

Rachel vibrated with love and happiness. "Happy New Year, Quinn."


	25. Interviews and Friendships

**I promised someone it would be out tonight. So it is. Hope you are having an amazing night, and if not, hopefully this helps a little?**

* * *

"You two seem to have exploded on the scene in the last few weeks."

Rachel smiled graciously as she always did, her hands folded primly over her knee. "I would like to think we've been on the scene for a bit longer than that."

Rachel watched as the older blonde across from her smiled and nodded. "Very true. Famed Broadway director Richard Jay-Alexander has said that you are an 'incredibly gifted, very deep and sensitive actor. On par with true Broadway superstars such as Barbra Streisand, Bernadette Peters, and Bette Midler."

Rachel lifted a shoulder and smiled. "It has been my lives dream to be on the stage, something I've been training for since I was two years old. To even be thought of as being in the same league as any of those women is a huge honor."

"But not your only honor. You won your first Tony at what? Twenty-two?"

Rachel beamed and nodded. "Twenty-two, yes."

"You've received two other Tony nominations, you've won two Drama Desk awards, and more recently a Grammy for best song in a motion picture."

"Halfway to my EGOT." Rachel nodded.

"But none of those things are what has made you the household name that you've became in the few short weeks since Christmas."

Rachel swallowed around the bile the forcefully made it's way up her throat. She hated this. She hated putting on a smile and pretending everything was okay but she knew it was for the best. She had been surprised when ABC News' bid had come out on top, even more so when they were told they would be interviewed by Diane Sawyer. Rachel knew that this interview meant their story would be bigger than either her or Quinn had expected but neither of them could turn down the opportunity, or the money that was being offered for the interview. It would mean funding clubs like Glee across the country for years to come. And when it came down to it, it was better that it was ABC and Diane Sawyer than TMZ or some sleazy tabloid The journalist was known to ask the hard questions while also holding compassion for the person she was interviewing. . Diane would go for quality over sensationalism and attempt, at least, to show her and Quinn's convoluted past in the best light.

Still, Rachel's hand itched with the need to reach out for Quinn. It had felt like hours since she'd last seen her lover, and in actuality, it probably had been longer. They'd been whisked out of their hotel before the sun was even up, escorted by police into their Malibu home, been primped and primed by top stylist, and prepped by producers. Their house had been taken over by sound and lighting equipment. They'd been questioned and cornered and drilled and that was before Rachel had even been ushered into her own living room to briefly greet the television celebrity, only moments before the cameras began to roll.

Rachel thought about all that had happened in the passed week and was brought back to the question. She'd always wanted to be a household name, she just never thought it would be under these circumstances. Rachel swallowed as her stomach rolled in time to the waves crashing on the beach meters behind her, thankful for years of training that kept her smile in place as breathed out, "No, it's not."

The producers had spent the two hours they were in with hair and make-up going over the basic dialogue that would be voiced over shots of their hometown: facts and various information that had been collected over the previous twenty-four hours. She knew Diane would touch on her past with Rachel, would talk about their feud in high school, their relationships with Finn, their time spent together with The New Directions. They would hit all the key bullet points of their high school lives: head Cheerio, her pregnancy, Rachel's almost-high school wedding, her car crash and nationals. She was told that they would briefly mention the fact that she was pregnant but it would be barely one line about Quinn overcoming that struggle. They would talk about her relationship with Rachel now. And then of course, there would be questions about the pictures and videos that had been circulating for almost a week. But knowing what to expect still didn't completely prepare you for the questions being asked.

"What happened that night?"

"A wise woman recently told me that we spend far too long worrying over the implications of every move we make in our life. We worry about how we will be perceived, what others will think of us, how what we do today will affect us tomorrow. We spend so long worrying about the maybes and the what-ifs that we let the possibilities pass us by. We forget to live for the here and now." Quinn smiled as she remembered sitting across from Rachel in the small café in the middle of Ohio. Rachel who took such amazing care of her, who had always been here for her. "I think I took those words a little too much to heart."

Diane smiled and tilted her head. "Was Rachel the one who told you that?"

Quinn smiled and nodded. "She told me that everything has the potential to end badly and to hurt, but it has just as must potential to be amazing and wonderful. Failure is devastating but it can motivate you to challenge yourself to be better. To prove people wrong. To prove yourself wrong."

"Do you see your actions that night as a failure on your part?"

Quinn shifted in her seat and let her eyes drop as she fluffed the edge of her dress. "We made a mistake. It doesn't take a bad person to do a bad thing."

"Do you think you're a bad person?"

Quinn let the corners of her mouth turn up as she looked back up at the reporter. "I did. A long time ago. It took someone like Rachel to show me that maybe I didn't have to be that person."

"Quinn said," Diane hesitate and looked down at her notes, "that she wasn't always a good persons and that you may have been the one thing that saved her from herself. What do you say to that?"

"Quinn has always, always underestimated herself."

"You two went through a lot in high school."

Rachel snorted. "You could say that."

"And what would you say?"

"I would say that everyone has their own version of 'a lot'. My story, my existence, my version of hard is completely different from Quinn's, or yours, or anyone's for that matter. I heard a Ted Talk a few years ago by this wonderful woman named Ash Beckham who said hard is not relative, hard is hard."

"Do you think you had it hard in high school?"

Rachel stopped thought for a moment before half nodding, half shaking her head. "I think I had my own version of hard. It could have been better, but it could have been so much worse. I was lucky, because I had a place to run and hide. I could get lost in the music. I had a family I knew loved me, a house that I could go home to. Could it have been better? Of course. Everyone's life can be better. I could have gone without being bullied, without being ridiculed for how I dressed, or my passion for music. But I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't experienced all of those things."

Quinn looked over the older blonde's shoulder. She could just barely make out Rachel's form as she leaned against the entryway on the other side of the house, trying to stay hidden while she listened in. She knew Rachel just wanted to be closer, that she knew how hard it was on Quinn. Rachel of all people knew just how much she hated being open and sharing parts of her that she felt was beyond personal. She would never be an open person and all of this was more difficult than she let on. Having Rachel watch over her made her smile, because her own personal ray of light was watching over her.

"We are human, we make mistakes and, regretfully, our mistake was played out for the public eye." If Quinn looked remorseful it was because she truly was. That moment, that feeling, was something she didn't ever want to share with anyone, and they'd shared it with the world. "We let our emotions and our hormones overrun our good senses. All we can do is take this failure and learn from it, grow from it. I will be the first to shout from the rooftops that I'm not perfect. Nor will I ever be. I've made mistakes, some bigger and more hurtful than others. At the place I am in my life right now, I do not wish to ever intentionally cause people pain or disappointment. I love my family, my friends, my co-workers, and my amazing fans. The last thing I would want to do is hurt them, even if it was completely unintentional."

"There has been a lot of outcry from fans and critics alike about you hiding your sexuality."

Rachel intertwined her fingers with Quinn's and smiled as she decided how to answer Diane's question. "I never labeled myself. People never really stopped and asked me "Rachel, are you straight?" because I would have answered no." Rachel shrugged her shoulders softly and her smile grew. "I think that we worry too much about labels and not enough about what we're feeling. Sometimes you don't expect things to happen. I think there are so many reasons to go and explore different things. There's different urges inside you that you're not even aware you're not noticing. Then one day you stop and have question just what it is you've been ignoring. Everybody's human and everybody wants to feel special and wants to feel loved. And sometimes, you don't find that love in the most conventional places."

"And you found that love in your ex-high school nemesis?" Diane asked as she smiled over at the couple that was so obviously in love.

"I did." Quinn nodded. "I was raised in a family that accept prejudice, embraced hatred. I cannot remember a day that went by that my father did not degrade those who were different than us. Hate is terrible, especially when we pass it down to a new generation of innocents. It was something my father tried to instill into my sister and I. Luckily I've been blessed to find out that he failed to do so. I'm lucky because my sister believes as I do, that if you bring a child into the world, you should be willing to love and accept them in any reality. Whether they are black, white, Asian, have four fingers, are disabled, or if they are just happen to be gay, transgender, bisexual, pan, questioning, whatever. You should love that child for who and what they are. For far too long though, I was afraid. My father made me feel small and powerless. And it was easier to lie than to live the truth openly.

I finally decided to take back that power and to be who I was. I didn't need feel the need to make a big announcement. I just embraced myself. I know society wants it, feels entitled to knowing, but that's my personal choice. That's just a small part of who I am. I am so much more interesting than just my sexual orientation and to put me into a category is too limiting. I do not care what the outer shell looks like. I find the whole package attractive. I don't understand limiting yourself because of someone's gender or skin color, or their age or sexuality? Love is love.

Lao Tzu wrote: "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." I am lucky enough to have found a someone who is my strength and my courage. A woman who loves me, regardless of the labels society places on us, and regardless of my numerous past mistakes. She, more than anyone in my life, knows those mistakes first hand. And I'm hoping, if she can learn to forgive, then our fans can follow her lead and do so as well."

* * *

Rachel crawled from the foot of the bed into Quinn's arms. It felt good to be here, to be home. "I'm exhausted."

Quinn smiled into Rachel's hair as she tucked her head beneath her chin. "God, you and me both. Who would have guessed that just talking to someone could be so draining."

"Yes, well, who knew what will eventually be an hour or two long special would take three hours of prep and six hours of filming. I feel like I'm back to work already."

Quinn hummed as she ran her fingers up and down Rachel's back. "What's work next?"

"Do you mean what is my next project?" Quinn nodded into her hair. "I have a guest spot on Game of Thrones. I have the Gypsy audition next week." Rachel hesitated and shook her head, "Though with all of this I doubt that I will get the role."

Quinn's hand froze and she looked down, but Rachel refused to meet her eyes. She was afraid of this. As much as she didn't want to admit it, there was a very real possibility that their "scandal" might cost them jobs. She hated that it may mean Rachel missing out on a role she would excel in. Quinn decided they needed a break from all the emotions and heaviness the day had brought.

"What do you mean you don't think you'll get the role? You were made to play Gypsy Rose Lee. You're beautiful, talented, you've got the body for it." Quinn smiled as she gave Rachel's firm ass a light pinch, which made the woman giggle.

Rachel turned and crossed her arms over Quinn's chest, her head lying on her hands as she started at the blonde inches above her. "You're biased."

"And? That doesn't make any of those things less true." Quinn could see the pain still hiding behind Rachel's eyes and sighed internally. She bit the inside of her cheek before she tipped her head. "Where is this coming from?"

"I'm just worried. I've crashed and burned already once in my career and with the show being cancelled last year and me not returning to Broadway directly after it happened, again, I'm just afraid that this added bit of publicity may be the final nail in my coffin. I know I've put on a brave face and said that whatever happens I will still be here loving you, and I will, don't get me wrong. It's just that everything may hinge on this interview. What if they mess it up some how? They edit out what we were really trying to say? Or something from our past comes back to bite us in the ass?"

"First off, you saying ass is utterly adorable." Quinn grinned as she ran her fingers through Rachel's dark hair. "Secondly, if anything is comes out to bite someone in the ass, it will be mine that is left with teeth marks, not yours."

"Well, hopefully that won't happen. We did have it in the contract that they are not allowed to interview Sue or your father, so that should at least head off a good portion of the damage control."

Quinn tensed slightly at the mention of her ex-coach and her father. She would love to believe that neither of them would purposely do anything to damage then, the likelihood of it happening as extremely high and both her and Rachel agreed that it was for the best. Quinn shook the thought off, right now wasn't about her, it was about dealing with Rachel's insecurities. And while yes, the woman did seem to have a rather large amount of them, she could understand that most of them were justified. Hell, some of them were even her own fault.

"There have been celebrities caught in much more compromising situations that have rebounded beautifully. So just try to remember, this isn't the end of the world, Rae; just a stumbling block and we've taken strides we needed to to be able to hurdle it. We're one step closer."

"I feel like I should break out in Christina Perri's Thousand Years. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow." Rachel sing-songed.

Quinn flipped them over and landed on top of a mass of laughing, squirming diva, glad to see that Rachel wasn't dwelling in it. "You do realize you're crazy right?"

Rachel laughed as Quinn's fingers dug into her side. "Crazy for you!"

Quinn shook her head as she leaned her arms on either side of Rachel's head and smiled down at her. "Certifiable."

"I've missed this." Rachel admitted as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck.

"I'm pretty sure we've been in this position a few times this last week." Quinn wiggled her eyebrows and smirked.

Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Not that. I mean just this, being here together, just relaxing and laughing together. The last month and a half have been crazy and I just… I missed this."

"You know what we need?" Quinn asked as she sat up onto her knees.

"What's that?"

"We need a movie night."

Rachel's face instantly split open into a huge grin. "God, it feels like forever since we've actually had one."

"Exactly. And just because we're officially dating now, I don't want to give up the schedule we had when you first moved in. I know that with traveling it really wasn't possible, and we were together all the time anyway, but now that we're back here and work is going to be starting back up soon I want to make sure it's something we're going to continue."

"Two lunches, one dinner, and one movie night?"

Quinn nodded. "Unless we're on location somewhere where it's not feasible to travel to and from, then yes, two lunches, one dinner, and one movie night. Every week. If we have time to fit more in then great."

Rachel scooted up on the bed until she was leaning against the headboard. "I don't know, Quinn." Rachel smiled as she watched Quinn's brow furrow. "I think we need to add something to it."

"Such as?"

"I love the idea and I agree that I want to keep it up. I loved those times with you where we could just catch up and rant about our days and just be. I miss that. I just think as a couple we deserve more than just the normal routine."

Quinn shrugged and nodded. "Agreed. What do you suggest?"

"I suggest that we add at least one mandatory date night a month. Regardless of if we are on a shoot, or doing something halfway across the world. With our schedules it might be difficult to try to fit in more than that but I think we deserve to get dressed up and go some place nice. We make a plan to do something nice together once a month."

"I'm okay with that." Quinn smiled as she pulled on Rachel's arm until the brunette was kneeling with her on the center of the bed. "As long as we don't start scheduling times to have sex. I draw the line at becoming a weird, old, married couple."

Rachel threw her head back and laughed as she pulled Quinn into her arms.

* * *

"My head hurts." April groaned from her spot sprawled out on their living room floor.

"Yeah well, you're supposed to warn someone before you decide to drop your end."

"You know you could at least pretend to have a little sympathy for me! I was helping you out!"

"A lot of freakin' good you did! We can't even get into the bedroom right now!"

Rachel sighed as she walked back in the room with an icepack. "Do you two ever stop? I don't see how you two work so well on screen because you two never seem to stop bickering." Rachel nudged April's head with her foot until the redhead lifted it, allowing her to drop the ice pack underneath. "If this is what having children is going to be like, then maybe we'll skip that part."

April groaned as she dropped her head on her pillow made of ice. Her head really did hurt. "Nope. The two of you were made to be parents. It's in your Dina or something."

Quinn tilted her head as she replayed the comment in her head. She was thankful that years of being friends with Brittany made it somewhat easier to understand the insane crap that fell from her co-star's mouth. "You mean DNA?"

"I don't understand why everyone insist on spelling it out instead of just saying Dina like you're supposed to. It's not like kids are going to be able to understand what Dina is. Are you going to sit there and tell a five year old all about the birds and the trees?"

"Birds and the bees." Rachel muttered as she poked Quinn until the woman sat up enough for her to slid underneath her on the couch, sighing tiredly as Quinn's head fell back onto her lap.

"I don't know why you'd think we'd make good parents. We can't even move a dresser without killing a grown woman. What makes you think we'd fair any better with a baby."

"Just a thought. I saw your little you at Rachel's party remember? And you were so good with her." April smiled as she played with the towel covering the icepack beneath her head. "Hey, Q, who was the buff, military type that was there that night?"

"No." Quinn sat up quickly, ignoring Rachel's frustrated sigh. "No." April saw up a bit slower and cocked her head to the side in question. "I've known you for almost three years April. I know that look and the answer is no."

"I was just asking, geez, chill out. I thought finally getting you some on a regular basis would calm you down some but I guess I was wrong."

"April, that's enough." Rachel snapped as she brought her hand to her head. She had no idea what on earth made her think it would be a good idea to enlist the help of their quirky, but stubbornly hard headed, friend to help them move her into Quinn's room. At first she thought it would just be something fun they could do together that wouldn't take very long and then they'd hang out and enjoy their evening together. Only she was Rachel and things just didn't really work out for her like that.

April and Quinn had started in on each other almost the moment that April had walked into the house, ducking out of the line od sight of a half dozen photographers still camping out at the end of their driveway. She never remembered them being this antagonistic towards each other when they were on set, or even the few times that they'd hung out outside of work and she couldn't figure out where it was all coming from. April was overly snippy, which just made Quinn snap back. And it kept going. And kept escalating. Until the two women were arguing over how to get the dresser out of Rachel's room and into the one that would be hers and Quinn's. Rachel swore she had only turned her back for one moment when there was a crash. She spun around just in time to see the heavy wood chest slam into April's head before getting jarred in the doorframe. She was just thankful that April was on the hallway side of the dresser. Rachel was sure that there was no way April would have been able to vault over the dresser the same way Quinn did, especially with the head injury she'd sustained.

"What is going on between you two?"

"Ask the soulless ginger wonder over there."

"Quinn. That's uncalled for."

"No, what's uncalled for is the way she's treated me since the moment she's walked in the door." Quinn growled back. "If I would have known you were going to be like this I wouldn't have called you."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have. Then I wouldn't have a throbbing headache and the desire to punch you."

Quinn rose from the couch. "Like you could take me."

April jumped up and took a step closer. "You don't know what I'm capable of."

"For the love of Barbra would you two please sit the hell down? No, you know what, better yet, Quinn, go find something to do. Ms. Paden and I are going to have a nice, long chat."

Quinn scoffed as she looked down incredulously at Rachel. "A you're sending me trying to send me to my room?"

"Either you go find something to do, in some other part of the house, or you and April can sit here and work your issues out together. Without me. Because I can't take any more of this bickering."

"Fine. Whatever." Quinn threw up her hands and stormed out. She knew it wasn't her finest moment but she was tired and pissed. She hated being tired and pissed which just made her even more pissed because she was letting her anger get the best of her to start with. Quinn walked back to their room and sighed as she took in the angle of he dresser. They were either going to have to pay someone to come move the monstrous dresser, or they were going to have to take a saw to the expensive, and beautiful, sustainable oak.

Quinn sighed and leaned against the dresser. Everything was good, okay, well. They were still being hounded by photogs, their name was still being circulated on social media, but after heir interview had aired, things had calmed down a small bit. She felt sorry for her family more than anyone else. After their story had ran, everyone from her mother to Shelby had received calls and request for interviews. Quinn was just relieved they were calling Shelby due to her connection with Rachel, not due to her connection to Shelby through Beth. For the most part, Beth had been shielded from the worst of it, though she knew that wouldn't always be the case. Eventually there would come a time when the media would find out about Quinn's child, but she hoped that her legal team would keep them jumping through hoops and chasing dead leads for a long time.

She wasn't sure how celebrities with children handled it. Beth wasn't even with her full time, not even par of the time really, but she worried endlessly over her protection. Quinn climbed the staircase to her second floor studio. She'd turned it into her own little sanctuary when she'd first moved it. The room had windows on all four walls and held the perfect amount of lighting for almost anything she decided to do. The wood was bare and she'd pulled down the sheet rock to expose the slats behind them. There were strings of Christmas lights with various pictures she'd taken over the years hanging strung along the walls. She had converted a walk in closet into a makeshift darkroom. There was a writing station that looked out over the beach. Rachel had brought out an ancient looking Singer sewing machine and had set it up in the opposite corner, bolts of cloth surrounding it.

Quinn walked over and pulled open a window before collapsing in her favorite corner. The area was covered in large floor cushions, pillows, and super soft blankets. There were various stuffed animals she'd collected from the time she was a small child, some held more memories than others. She ran her picked up a pink stuffed giraffe and brought it to her nose. It was the first thing she bought after she'd learned she was pregnant. It was something she had originally intended to give to Shelby but she'd never been able to part with it. There was a bear her sister had given her before she could even remember, his head almost falling off from years of childhood abuse –being dragged everywhere she went. She smiled as she looked at one of the first gifts she had ever gotten from a fan. She knew she didn't need half of the things sent to her, and while she cherished the thought and love behind each one, there were just too many to keep. Most of those she tried to donate to places where children didn't have toys –she made sure that the local fire departments always had enough after she learned they would hand them out to children after a traumatic experience. She donated to women's shelters and various hospitals around the city. But this one she'd always held on to.

Rachel looked up at the fuming redhead still standing in front of her and shook her head. April was snarky but she was never as overly hostile as she had been since she'd shown up three hours ago and Rachel simply couldn't figure out what was going on with her.

"April, would you please come take a seat?"

April looked down briefly at the small woman before looking back towards the hallway and then the door. "I don't know Rachel, maybe it's best if I just go."

"Nonsense, you're our guest here, and even if thins didn't work out the way we had originally planned, I still expect you to stay and have dinner with us."

"I don't know if that's such a great idea." Rachel watched as her friend shifted from one foot to another and reached out for her hand, pulling the redhead down beside her.

"April, I don't understand what's going on. Did Quinn say or do something to you?" April scrunched up her nose and gave a small shake of her head. "Is that a no, or a no you don't want to answer?"

April sat back and crossed her arms. "I saw the interview."

Rachel thought about the special that had aired two nights before and tried to think of anything in it that could have upset April the way it had. Tried as she might, she couldn't think of a single thing.

"And it made you mad."

"I'm not mad." April huffed. "I'm hurt."

"You're hurt? Why would you be hurt, April?"

"IthoughtIwasyourfriendneitherofyouevensaidmyname." April muttered. Rachel waited a beat. Then two. The third beat had her tilting her head as she tried to break apart the words. After a minute of glaring at her lap April threw up her hands. "Neither of you even mentioned me!"

"I'm sorry?" Rachel was utterly confused.

"You should be! I helped get the two of you together!" April growled as she stood up and began to pace the length of the living room, talking with her hands as she stormed back and forth the narrow space between the two couches. "I gave you the idea about using social media, which by the way neither of you even attempted to use! I can understand you not mentioning me, but Quinn? She _was_ one of my best friends! She talked about that Santana and Brittany, she mentioned all these other people, but she couldn't even acknowledge me!"

Rachel nodded as everything fell into place. "You know how the editing process goes." Rachel snatched April's hand as she stomped passed her. "April, you know how the editing process goes. We _did_ talk about you. I swear it. We talked about our time on _Steel_. I don't know why they didn't air it."

April seemed to deflate in front of her. "You did?"

"I wouldn't lie to you, April. I don't know if they couldn't get permission from the show's producers or if it was just a time element but I promise you, we didn't forget you, or your friendship. It means so much to me that you have supported us and been there for us through all of this."

April looked down to where Rachel still grasped her hand. "Yeah?"

Rachel ducked her head and caught bright green eyes with her own brown eyes. "Yes, it does."

April nodded and dropped beside Rachel. "I don't apologize easily."

"Neither does she."

"But I should, huh?" Rachel just stared at her. "Yeah, that's what I thought. So uh," April looked over her shoulder, "I uh, I'm going to do that."

Rachel smiled and tilted her head in the direction of the stairs. "You go patch things up with my beautiful girlfriend and tell her that I'm ordering supper so you two can't take forever."

Quinn would know the sound of Rachel's walk anywhere, and the feet walking up the stairs definitely did not belong to her favorite dancing diva. The childish part of her wanted to roll over and completely ignore the woman cresting the top of the stairs but she knew that if she did that, it would just make her girlfriend mad and make working together difficult. Plus April had just enough of Britt's personality in her that she couldn't help but feel like she was kicking her puppy by being mean to her. She was sure that April had a reason for treating her like she had that day, even if that reason might not totally make sense to anyone but April. And possibly Brittany.

She watched as April strolled around the room, stopping to look at various pictures here and there. "This is nice."

Quinn sat up a bit but didn't say anything. The two women didn't look at each other, didn't speak. They could hear Rachel humming in the kitchen, but other than that, the only sound that filled the room was the sound of the waves crashing in the distance. Quinn finally sighed and stood up.

"Are you going to say anything or just ruin the peace of my hideout with your presence?"

April looked over her shoulder at the blonde standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips. "Has anyone ever told you you're kind of a bitch?"

"Has anyone told you that you should keep your damn mouth shut?" Quinn snapped back. "What the hell is your deal?"

April smirked and lifted a shoulder. "Temper, temper."

Quinn dug her nails into her hips to keep from jumping on the snarky redhead. "Listen, unless you want to go for a flight out my second story window, you better start talking."

April took a deep breath and huffed out a sigh. "I don't have many friends."

"How surprising."

"Would you shut up and just let me talk?" She waited until the blonde stayed silent, only lifting an eyebrow. "Thank you. As I was saying, I don't have many friends. I never have. I don't… I don't connect to people well. And I consider you a friend. A bitchy friend, but a friend none the less."

"Wow, I'm so honored."

"Damn it, Quinn, would you just fuckin' stop. I'm trying to apologize and you're not making it easy." April growled, happy to see Quinn soften just a bit at the admission, which just made her angrier. "I don't… I don't connect to people well. I can't talk to people. Give me a camera or a crowd and I can light it up and let my talent shine. But just one on one has always been harder for me. So I don't have a lot of friends. But with you, and even with Rachel somewhat, it was easy. You were the first person I could talk to so easy. Or at least I could."

Quinn sighed and dropped her hands. "What changed?"

"An imagined slight?" April gave a minute shrug of her shoulders as she turned back towards the Christmas lights and photographs. "I wasn't sure if you considered me a friend as well and I felt like a fool."

Quinn let her shoulders drop and gave a half eye-roll as she shook her head, glad that her co-star couldn't see her. "Listen, I don't do friends. At least not well. You met Santana. She's one of my best friends and we've had more knock down, drag outs than I've had with any of my enemies." Quinn chuckled at the thought. They really were young and stupid. Quinn walked over and leaned her hip on the open windowsill, still turned towards April. "But just because I'm naturally a bitch doesn't mean I don't consider you a friend."

"I guess I get that."

"I just would like to know what the hell I did to piss you off so bad?"

"Is it not enough to say I was acting like a two year old who had just gotten her favorite bunny taken away?" Quinn crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "Right. Rachel's already explained but… well I thought you cut me out of your life."

"Why the hell would you think that? I dragged you all the way to Lima freakin' Ohio because I knew you would love to be a part of Rachel's surprise party. I called you on Christmas. I barely called my own mother on Christmas for the last few years. I let you into our hotel room when I could have been having hot, hot sex with the woman of my dreams instead of dealin' with you!"

"Yeah well you could have said any of those things?" Quinn threw her hands up in the air. She really was beginning to feel like she was talking to a two year old. "I saw the documentary and got hurt."

"It wasn't a documentary, it was an interview. One that I didn't even watch so I have no idea what part of it damaged you so much but can you stop taking your hate out on me?"

"I wasn't in it! You didn't even mention me and I thought we were friends and okay, I get it, we are, but we're both so fuckin' damaged that we have no clue how to be a friend. So I get it."

"That's what this is about?"

"Yes!"

"You're fuckin' stupid."

"And you're a…"

"A bitch. I know. I've always been a self-obsessed bitch. But I would never cut my friends out of my life."

April shrugged again. "Rachel explained it."

"Good, so we can be done with this now. Right?"

April nodded and rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm uh… I…"

Quinn waved it off. "Keep your damn apology and never speak to me like you did today. Because next time, I'll kick your ass."

* * *

**"**So I have good news, great news, and some news that falls somewhere in between." Tina sighed as she poured herself a cup of coffee, warily eyeing the sleep rumpled redhead at the other end of the kitchen. "Are you sure you want to talk about this now?"

Rachel looked over at April and shrugged. It honestly didn't bother her one way or another if April overheard everything and she knew that even if Quinn wasn't standing right beside her, she'd tell her every word that Tina had said later anyway. "Tina, I am supposed to have my audition for _Gypsy_ in three days. I need to know if I should still be preparing or if I should just quit while I'm ahead."

"As long as you're sure, then we'll go ahead." Tina stepped up to the counter and opened her tablet. "The good news is _Gypsy _still would like you to audition."

Rachel smiled over at Quinn and squeezed her hand excitedly.

"Why isn't that under great news?" April asked as she rubbed her tired eyes. They'd stayed up entirely way too late watching old Glee videos because April was addicted to them. "They'd be stupid to cast anyone else as Gypsy Rose."

"My thoughts exactly and I would have put that under the great column, but there is talk that Babs and the other producers weren't too overly thrilled by the type of media attention you've received, so even though you're auditioning, it might be a hard sale. You're really going to have to win them over to your side."

Rachel nodded. "Okay. Okay, I can do that. I'll just have to show them how right I am for the part." The kitchen echoed with her friends rousing approval. "So I take it that's the not so good part. What's the great part?"

"The great part is that you've gotten a lot of scripts thrown your way recently."

"Anything good?" Quinn asked as she sipped on her coffee, leaning against the counter behind her.

"A few. But there is one I think all three of you might want to take a look at. And April, this is confidential and I'm only bringing you in on this because you're in the process of signing a contract with me that will allow me full disclosure." Tina waited until all three women had stepped in close to open the email she'd gotten the night before, turning it for the three to read together.

Rachel read the words three times before they truly began to sink in, her mind instantly awash in pros and cons. "Are they serious?" Rachel asked, biting her lip.

"I talked to her myself this morning. They just want you and Quinn to do a Q&amp;A thing first. And that's something you two have to both agree on."

"A panel or..."

"That's something to think about for the convention circuit but no, for right now, even just a few questions on social media will be enough to satisfy them."

Rachel and Quinn looked at each other and nodded. It was something they were going to have to talk about before they made any decisions and a lot would ride on the possibility of Rachel landing the Gypsy role.

"Don't get me wrong, that's awesome and everything, but damn it!"

Three sets of eyes looked over to the five foot, ten inch pouting redhead. "I gave you a damn eulogy and everything!"

* * *

**Lots more to come, but the angst and troubles are almost done. I probably struggled more with this chapter than I have with the entire story so far. So good or bad, please shoot me a PM or drop me a comment and let me know your thoughts! Until next time... MH**


	26. Past and Future

**I was really hoping to get this out sooner, but between birthday parties and sick kids, and my computer completely crapping out on me... it's taken a lot longer than I hoped. So excuses aside, thank you for all the follows, favorites, and reviews and enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

"I hate this." Rachel sighed as she dropped down on the firm mattress and attempted to get comfortable, which she was failing at. It had been a long day, in an even longer week, that was the culmination of a dreadfully long month. Her only saving grace had been having Quinn beside her through it all.

"You're going to be great tomorrow," Quinn assured her.

"Not quite what I was referring to though I do appreciate the vote of confidence. Though, quite frankly, I'm not usually this uneasy about walking into an audition."

"Are you really that nervous about tomorrow?"

Rachel huffed as she shifted the pillow under her head. "No." Even without seeing her, she could feel Quinn rolling her eyes. "Maybe. Yes." Rachel took a deep breath and held it. "Honestly, I don't really know. I have my monolog. I've had the lines memorized since I was twelve. You helped me pick out a song, which, I'm not even sure I said thank you for, so thank you."

"You know I'd help you in any way that I could." Quinn waved her appreciation off as she shifted the blankets around her shoulders and hugged the pillow next to her. More than anything she wanted to be holding Rachel, but she knew at this moment, that wasn't going to be happening.

"I do. I just… I don't even feel like I've had two seconds to breath since this all began. I wish I had more time to prepare. I usually have a list of rules that I abide by when preparing for a big performance or an audition like this one. It's tried and true and has never failed me: I make sure not to drink any milk so I don't become too phlegmy. I avoid touching all door handles and refuse to use any public facilities -they carry too many germs and risk of infection. I don't kiss for the same reasons. And aside from the milk, that I don't normally drink due to being a vegetarian, I have done every single one of those things in the last few days. Not to mention the fact that I usually try to limit using my voice in the week or two leading up to a big audition like this one and I feel like I've done nothing but answer questions and talk."

"Who would have thought that Rachel Berry would be one to complain about talking." Quinn laughed quietly. "Does this means I should stop talking to you then?"

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "No. God, Quinn, I'm just… this is all so unusual for me and I feel like I am so far out of my comfort zone that I can no longer even see the line that I crossed." Rachel closed her eyes. "I guess I am more nervous than I first assumed I would be."

"Best friend pep talk time?" Quinn asked with a smile. It was a tradition they had gotten into when it came time for one of them to go for an audition, or out on a date, which was practically the same thing. Thankfully, as far as Quinn was concerned, the whole dating portion was done with.

"Please."

"You just have to breath, Rachel. They would be stupid not to hire you. I know I may be a bit biased now, but that wasn't always the case. And even when we were enemies, I knew you were going to be a huge star. You are one of the most amazing, talented, breathtakingly stunning women I have ever been privileged to know." Quinn's passionate words made Rachel smile as she turned her head to the other side of the bed as she listened to Quinn speak. "You've been ready for this audition since the moment it was offered to you. You've trained for this since you were three months old. You realize you have absolutely nothing to be nervous about, right?"

Rachel tried to let the words filter in, but the question made her think. Quinn was correct in that she _had_ trained for this her entire life. It was as if everything was leading up to this moment, this role. She knew she was good in high school. Hell, she was even better when she was at NYADA and in Funny Girl. But it was her return to Broadway that made her the complete powerhouse she was today. Her voice was stronger and clearer than it had ever been. She had the experience she needed from the stage. She'd quickly learned how to conquer film, even if it was the small screen, she felt it help prepare her for what would happen on the set of a big film production. Rachel knew she was at the perfect time and place in her life for this role to come along. And she knew that if they were looking at her talent alone, the role would be hers, no questions asked. But she knew from what Tina had told her, that wasn't the only thing they'd be evaluating her on. One mistake, one beautiful, fucked up mistake, had made it into so much more than that. It wasn't even her sexuality that was causing the studio and producers to hesitate. Simply, no one really cared about things like that anymore; a person could be out, loud, and proud and be hugely successful -maybe even more so because of it. When someone was outed, it stirred up news for all of a few days, maybe a few weeks if you were lucky, or unlucky depending on how you looked at it, and then it just became a side note on your Wiki page.

It was the way they'd come out that was causing such issues. Not just with the studios, but with her fans as well. Quinn's fans, for the most part, hadn't even batted an eye. Her time on _Steel_ had prepared them for the inevitability that she would one day finally emerge from the closet. In fact, from what Rachel had seen, it seemed like her fans were thrilled by what occurred and the fact that it had happened in such a public manner. But when Rachel had first appeared on _Steel_ she had assured her fans that there was nothing between her and Quinn other than friendship. Which, at the time, had been true, even if she had a strong indication that both of their feelings were beginning to blossom into something more. At the time, she hadn't wanted to jinx anything so she'd kept mum on the situation, sidestepping any direct answer, and now those small untruths were causing her problems. Her morality was being brought into question on a regular basis. She was accused of sleeping with multiple former co-stars, both male and female. And some of her more ardent fans had been very vocal in their dislike of Quinn and her relationship with the former cheerleader. Noise that had only gotten louder after their interview had aired, rehashing much of their early relationship for the world to see.

Rachel had quietly asked Tina if they needed to worry about investing in more security just earlier that day after Tina had shown her some hate mail she'd received threatening not only herself, but also her partner. Rachel had forced Tina to not say anything to Quinn, no matter how much the Asian woman fought her on it. Tina had thrown up her hands and told her if and when this all blew up in their faces that she was the one that was going to have to explain to Quinn why she was being kept in the dark, before she assured her that everything was being handled. Tina glared at her as she told Rachel that _if_ extra security measures they would have no choice other than to inform Quinn of what was occurring. She knew her friend and manager didn't agree with her keeping Quinn in the dark, but she didn't want her lover to have to deal with this as well as everything else that Rachel's actions had caused. Rachel knew that they'd both been involved in what happened a few days after Christmas, but she couldn't stop feeling like it was solely her fault, like she was the one that had pushed things too far. After a thorough viewing of the plethora of videos that had been taken that night, it was the only conclusion she could logically reach. It was her fault. She'd obviously been far more intoxicated than Quinn had, as apparent by her memory loss; and she couldn't find fault in Quinn's actions on the dance floor after she had pushed her to that point with the body shots she'd forced the blonde to endure. Which is why she knew that if anything happened to Quinn, in any way, she would carry the weight of it on her shoulders. The last thing she wanted was something to happen to Quinn because of her.

"Rae?" Quinn questioned after a long pause when her girlfriend hadn't answered the question. She couldn't help but worry. Rachel hadn't been overly forthcoming about the audition but she knew that Rachel just didn't want to jinx it. That in itself was enough to tell Quinn how much the woman wanted this role, this opportunity. "Are you okay?"

Rachel shifted as Quinn's voice filled her ear. "I'm…" Rachel sighed as she toyed with the top of the blanket. "I hate this."

"You've said that already."

"Yes, but you erroneously assumed I was speaking about the audition. Do we need another lesson in assumption?"

Quinn chuckled. "No, but you could tell me what you're talking about."

"This. Laying in some stupid bed without you beside me."

"I would be there if I could, Rae. You know that."

"I know. I know we were both hoping that you wouldn't be needed in the first round of shooting but… what can we do? I have just gotten so used to you being next to me. This bed seems so big and cold and empty without you next to me."

Quinn sighed and buried her face into Rachel's empty pillow, loving how it still smelled like shampoo and perfume and a scent that was distinctly Rachel. Quinn had never been one to see herself as emotionally dependent on someone she was in a relationship with. She wasn't possessive or overly jealous. And she definitely didn't feel separation anxiety when she couldn't be next to the person she cared for. She was independent. And self-assured. And... And yet, here was was feeling every single one of those things. She felt like a walking cliche for someone in love and it sort of made her nauseous. Or at least it would if she actually let herself think about it too long. But she couldn't help it. Rachel, the same Rachel that had drove her nuts during high school, who had been the pain in her side for so many years, simply made her happy. Happier than she could remember being in a long time. And knowing that she made Rachel happy too, knowing that the small diva missed her just as much, it kind of made her melt a little.

"I know. It's even worse here because I can smell you. I can vividly remember lying in our bed with you. I can picture falling asleep with you next to me and waking up to watch you sleep." Quinn chortled to herself, "I don't know what you've done to me, Rae, but you've turned me into a huge mushball."

Quinn swallowed hard as Rachel's voice lowered seductively. "Oh, darling, we both know how much you like what I do to you."

Quinn laughed away the shiver of desire that shot through her. "Rachel, don't you dare. I have to be up in six hours and I need to sleep."

"Are you trying to tell me that phone sex is out of the question?"

Quinn groaned and buried her head under her pillow. "Yes, Rae." She moaned into her pillows.

"I much prefer you moaning those words."

Quinn threw her pillow towards the other side of the room as she shrieked, "Rachel!"

Rachel's clear laughter rang out over the phone. "I'm sorry, I had to."

"You're going to be the death of me, woman. And I don't mean in a good way."

Rachel just nodded, absolutely okay with that. She loved pressing Quinn's buttons and knowing just how to make her respond in the ways she wanted. She was sure it was her understated way of returning just a small bit of the torture Quinn had put her through in high school.

"Oh, mon cher, you know you love it when I give la petit morte."

"No, no, no, no, no. No, you don't get to do that. That. That is not fair." Quinn mumbled into the pillow, hating how much Rachel speaking to her in another language turned her to complete and utter mush. "Babe, please."

Rachel smiled softly at the muffled words and let her voice drop even lower. "Are you asking me to stop? Or are you begging me to keep going?"

Quinn shot off the bed and walked into the other room. There was no way she was going to be able to stay in a bed that smelled like Rachel, with the she-devil herself whispering naughty words in her ear, and not do something about it. And right now, she didn't want her own hand bringing her relief. She wanted her girlfriend.

"You realize I legitimately hate you right now, don't you?"

"You do not." Rachel whispered on the other side of the phone.

"Fine. I don't. But I swear to God, you are evil."

"Is someone frustrated?"

"Frustrated. Horny. Extremely turned on and wet." Quinn smiled at the breathy gasp that followed that admission. "You know, turn about is only fair play." Quinn's smoky voice caressed the words.

"The only difference is, I wouldn't mind taking things into my own hands while imagining it was you. Especially if you were on the phone while I did so."

Quinn gulped at the images that assaulted her. "H-have you? I mean…. done that?"

Rachel knew that was exactly what Quinn was hinting at, but she knew explicitly stating the words would just fluster her lover even more than she already was. "Masturbated while imagining you?" Rachel started when she heard a loud clatter on the other end of the phone. "Quinn? Are you okay?"

Rachel sat up as she listened to another clatter and a muttered curse. "Seriously Quinn, are you alright?"

"Fine. Dandy. Wonderful." Quinn said, trying to catch her breath as she looked down at the mess she had made. Quinn shook her head at herself. She'd gone all through high school without ever feeling like this. If this is what Rachel meant back then about women wanting sex as much as boys, she was right. It had been so easy back then to stick to the under the shirt, over the bra mantra. But she had a feeling if she had been aware of her sexuality and her feelings for Rachel back then, those rules would have been out of the window long before she had gotten pregnant with Beth.

Rachel stifled a laugh. "Are you going to tell me what that was?"

"No."

"Quinn."

Quinn looked up at the ceiling and counted down from ten. Then she did it again. And sighed. "I broke our juice container."

Rachel bit her lip in amusement as she waited for Quinn to explain. She knew if she dared open her mouth she'd lose it. The line stayed silent as each waited for the other to say something. Rachel finally broke, chuckling as she asked what happened.

"No. No, you don't get to laugh about this. This is completely your fault."

"How, pray tell, is it my fault?" Rachel chuckled. "I do believe I am still currently stuck in a hotel room fifteen hundred miles away."

"It's your fault because you, my dear, sweet, wonderful girlfriend, are the devil incarnate." Rachel threw back her head and laughed and Quinn couldn't stop the smile that the sound produced. "It's a damn good thing I love you."

"I couldn't be happier that you do." Quinn could hear the smile in Rachel's voice and was just happy to know that whatever Rachel had been so worked up over had at least momentarily been forgotten. She hated knowing that Rachel was so worked up and that there was very little she could do about it. She knew what this role meant to Rachel. Not only was it the role of a lifetime, that would be perfect for her, it was the first possibility of a starring role on the big screen in a role that was made for her. It was the chance at working with her lifelong idol. With a serious possibility of being in contention for numerous awards if done right. She had never wanted something for someone else so bad in her entire life, with maybe the exception of wanting her daughter to be healthy and happy.

"_You_ make me happy. I know I spent enough years trying to make you miserable, but now, I want to make you just as happy."

"Oh, Quinn, don't you know that you do?"

Quinn grabbed the broom and dust pan and shrugged. She hated feeling insecure. It was a feeling she thought she grew out of when she graduated from Yale. Yet, here she was, talking to the woman who had inadvertently made her feel insecure in high school, reliving the emotion in a totally new way. "I try."

"Quinn," Rachel sighed. "I… There are times when I wonder if this is all just some elaborate fantasy. I know I freaked out over the holidays and said somethings, well, not so crazy for me, but somewhat over the top. It was silly and stupid to compare us to a romantic comedy but that's because for me, this is still so unbelievably perfect." Rachel paused at the snort of disbelief that came from the other side of the line. "Listen, I know, okay, I know that this hasn't been a walk in the park and that things could always be better. But I got to wake up this morning laying next to you. Do you have any idea how unbelievable that still is for me?"

"After the way I treated you for so long, I would have thought-"

"I would have thought we were passed that." Rachel huffed.

Quinn kicked herself. This was the exact reason that she didn't bring it up anymore. She still felt guilty about how she treated Rachel in high school, even if they were so far beyond that now. Quinn finished wiping up her mess and decided to head to their deck. It was late and she doubted any photographers would still be hanging around the dark house and right now, she really didn't care even if there was. She needed the sound of the ocean to help clear her mind.

"Rae-" Quinn began before her girlfriend cut her off.

"No, don't you Rae me. Every few months this comes up again and I'm tired of dealing with it. So get it out, get it out of the way, and make it good, because this is the last time I will hear anything on this subject unless it is something being addressed in my memoirs. Am I understood?"

"Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum right now?"

"If that's the way you want to view it." Rachel growled before she took a deep breath and slowly released it. Rachel could hear the distant sound of waves and it grounded her for what she wanted to say. She was surprised how quickly the lull of the crashing waves had become as synonymous with home as Quinn had. "Quinn, I'm just… I need you to listen to me and talk to me as my best friend. Not my lover, or girlfriend, or partner, or whatever label you feel like putting on us. Can you do that? Just for a moment, really listen to me and hear what I'm saying?"

"I have _always_ listened to you." Quinn ground out.

"I think I am starting to realize that. But I need you to hear me not as someone involved in this, but someone standing on the side lines. As if I was still just your friend, calling you to gush over my latest relationship. Can you do that?"

Quinn sighed. "I don't know. I can try, Rachel. That's about as much as I can promise right now."

"Then that's what I'll take. All I ever ask is that you try." Rachel got up and walked across the room to stare out the window as she began to talk, not even sure of exactly what she was trying to say, or even why she asked Quinn to listen as a friend. She just wanted her to see things from someone else's point of view. She was honestly tired of having to come back to their past. It was bad enough to have to do it for the interview, something that she was sure would be revisited any time someone brought up their relationship over the next few years. But having to go through it with Quinn on a regular basis was just too much. Quinn couldn't ask her to keep reliving those years over and over again. It wasn't like she'd forgotten, she just knew that there was so much more to Quinn than the hateful things she had done during her misspent youth. "I met this amazing woman, Quinn. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to know. And she also happens to be someone that I have a long extensive, convoluted history with. Once upon a time, she was the root of a lot of my pain, but before you tell me that I'm a masochist or something along those lines, remember that it was from that pain that such a beautiful friendship bloomed. This woman now knows me better than anyone ever has and became one of my very best friends. And from that friendship came this most amazing, unexpected, wonderful relationship. She makes me laugh, god does she ever make me laugh and smile, like all the time. She does sweet things for me, like leaving me little post-it notes just to say hi. We took this crazy trip, and I introduced her to my entire family. And guess what? They loved her. Remember how much I told you they didn't like Finn? And how after that I refused to bring anyone home?"

Quinn smiled softly as she thought back to a conversation they'd had a few years before that she had all but forgotten about. "Thank god, I didn't remember that before. But yes, I recall you mentioning that."

"I didn't even think about bringing her home, Quinn. Because she just… she fits so well in my life. It's…" Rachel tried to find the words as she ran her fingers over the cool plane of glass, absentmindedly staring at the lights beyond her fingertips. Rachel's voice grew soft as she continued to speak, "I feel like I've finally met the love of my life."

Quinn let her head fall back on chaise that lined the edge of their deck and looked up at the stars. She picked out different constellations as her mind replayed the words Rachel had just spoken. "She sounds amazing."

"Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it."

"I guess I never really thought of it the way you put it -that the pain and suffering we went through together is what really brought us closer when we became friends. I was just… God, I was so horrible to you. I was horrible to everyone. I was so twisted and messed up and angry at the world. And you, you were this perfect, self-assured, beautiful young woman who didn't stop no matter what the world, or an idiot head cheerleader, threw at you. Literally and figuratively. And as much as I know you've let it go and that you've forgiven me plenty of times, I haven't been able to forgive myself. I'll always carry the guilt of my actions."

"Let me ask you, as my best friend, how would you feel if some random person, someone from my past who hurt me, kept coming back into my life and repeatedly brought up painful memories to assuage their own guilt?"

"I… I'd want to kick their ass." Quinn admitted with a sigh.

"Exactly. Yet, that's exactly what you're doing, Quinn. Every single time you bring it up, it's not for my benefit, but your own. I forgave you years ago. But that doesn't mean that thinking about that time doesn't bring a twinge of pain."

"I don't mean to hurt you."

Rachel bit back a sigh as she moved back to the bed and slid beneath to cold sheets. "No, sweetie, you don't. But that's what inadvertently happens. Yet, I'm not the one that it hurts on a daily basis. It's not healthy to carry around so much pain and guilt. You need to let it go, Quinn. You need to forgive yourself."

Quinn looked up at the night sky and wondered how Rachel made it sound so easy. She knew the woman was right, but that was something she had struggled to do her entire adult life. Quinn had been raised to hold on to grudges and to always guard emotions that could come back to hurt you later. Even if that emotion was guilt. "I don't know how."

Rachel's heart clenched at the broken admission. She could feel the weight of it in her bones and she rolled to her side to try to alleviate the pressure. Rachel tucked the phone between her ear and the pillow, freeing her hand to run across the empty bed beside her. A space that had quickly become "Quinn's side" and imagined the woman lying next to her. "You start by realizing that you are more than the sum of your actions. You start by acknowledging that even if you are, your actions over the last six or seven years has far surpassed everything that came before." Rachel said softly. "You have to find a way to realize that you've done everything in your power to work passed your mistakes and forgive yourself like I did years ago. You are not the same person you were yesterday, much less who you were five years ago, ten years ago. You've changed, Quinn. Your morals and values have changed. You care more about the people around you than you do for yourself. And you need to realize that the past is the past and it needs to stay there. You can't undo it, and like I said, it's made us who we are. It's brought us to this point in our relationship. And as much as a re-do would be lovely, it would completely change the here and now. And who knows if that different future would be as good as this one. And Quinn, I like this one."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, my beautiful girl."

"Me too." Quinn sighed again and ran her fingers through her hair. "Me too. I'm not saying that I'm going to completely get over this overnight, but I hear what you're saying, Rachel. And I'll try to stop bringing it up."

"I want you to talk to me about it when it's bothering you, but I don't want to hear any more self-condemnation. And I don't want to hear any more apologizing. You've done that. More than enough times and I've accepted it every single time. But I'm done with that part of this conversation. If the guilt is weighing on you, I want you to share it with me. I want you to still be able to talk to me about whatever you are thinking or feeling, but I don't want anymore of this self-depreciation bullshit."

"Did Ms. Rachel Berry just let an explicit word cross her lips?" Quinn chuckled.

"Yes, well, it has been known to happen. And if it sufficiently got my point across then it served it's purpose."

"That it did. Have I told you lately how amazing you are?"

"Not in the last hour or so."

"Well you are, Rae. So very amazing. I can't imagine you not being here in this future."

"There's no place I rather be."

* * *

Rachel wanted nothing more than to climb into her bed and cry. The audition had been nothing short of disasterous. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. She was cut off only a few bars into the song she had prepared. She had been grilled vigorously about everything from her childhood to her relationship with Quinn. Rachel was so flustered that she had flubbed her lines, lines she had known inside and out before she had even reached her teenage years. And on top of all that, she had only met the casting director and one of the executive producers. Her idol hadn't even been on the lot that day. She had been looking forward to meeting her Barbra again after they had briefly met at a charity event two years before. As she reached the door to her suite she sighed and laid her head against it, dreading walking into the empty room after the day she'd had.

"Rae?"

Rachel slowly turned her head, never lifting it from the door, at the sound of the familiar voice.

Quinn let a small grin lift the corners of her mouth as she watched the woman before her for some sort of reaction. When Rachel continued to stare at her, unmoving, and Quinn could feel her nervousness bubble over. This wasn't something she normally did. She wasn't impulsive. She didn't just show up places. She called and planned. Her nerves caused her to shift from one foot to the other as she watched Rachel watching her. Quinn watched the slow smile spread across Rachel's face and let her shoulders sag in relief. Relief that lasted two seconds before she was moving forward, concern filling her being.

"Hey, wait, no." Quinn cooed as she pulled her sobbing girlfriend into her arms. "You weren't supposed to cry."

Rachel tried to speak but all that came out was another sob. She hadn't realized just how much she needed Quinn until she was there. She wasn't sure how she was there, but she thanked everything good and holy that she was. Rachel clung to Quinn with all that she was, not even realizing they were moving until she was being sat on the edge of the bed in her hotel room. Rachel curled into Quinn, allowing strong arms to pull her closer as she buried her face into the nook of a strong neck, trying to breath in Quinn's scent and letting it soothe her aching soul. She'd never felt so utterly devastated, not even when her first horribly tv show was cancelled and she crawled back to Lima with her tail between her legs. She knew it was a little much to be this upset, but everything, everything was weighing down on her and she just couldn't breath.

Quinn waited until Rachel's sobs had quieted to silent tears before she tried to pull away. "I'm going to get you some water and a wet cloth." Quinn whispered as she started to stand, only to feel Rachel's fingers dig painfully into her neck, holding her in place.

"Don't."

"I'm not going anywhere, love, just give me a minute, okay?"

Quinn quickly gathered a few things and called down to order room service and silently prayed she'd be able to get Rachel calmed down before it arrived.

"We have to stop making this a habit." Quinn joked quietly as she entered the room and tilted Rachel's face up, smiling softly at the red-rimmed eyes, smudged mascara, and sad, questioning eyes. She answered as she began to wipe the remnants of tears from Rachel's cheeks. "Crying in doorways."

Rachel gave a watery laugh. "It's becoming a thing."

"We already have bathrooms. We don't need any more things."

Rachel smiled sadly and shrugged a shoulder. "We'll always have things."

Quinn ran the backs of her fingers over Rachel's freshly cleaned cheek. "As amusing as this conversation is, do you want to tell me want to tell me what that was about?"

"I'm happy to see you?" Rachel hedged.

"As much as I appreciate the thought that my mere presence can bring anyone to tears, I have a feeling that there is much more to it than just that."

Rachel huffed out a laugh and pulled away from Quinn's touch, needing a bit of space to breath. "I'm scared." She admitted.

Quinn tilted her head as she waited for an explanation. "Rachel, please don't make me drag this out of you. Because I will. And I can't promise it will be pleasant."

Rachel looked up to see the determination in Quinn's eyes and shivered. That tone, with that stance, was just too much. She was equal parts terrified and turned on but the no nonsense look Quinn gave her as she sat down at the foot of the bed. Rachel took a breath. "I am pretty sure I bl-" She hesitated as she realized that the answer she was going to give, the explanation about her blowing her audition, was just a way to circumnavigate the real reason she'd lost it at the sight of Quinn standing before her. Rachel took a fortifying breath. "I had all these plans when I came out here. And I realized today that I may not get a chance to reach a lot of them." She admitted softly as she played with her fingers on her lap. "But more than that, I realized that none of that scared me as much as losing you."

Quinn shook her head, her blonde hair whipping back and forth with the move. "But I'm not going anywhere."

"But you could. Don't you see? Every time something good in my life happens, something equally horrible happens. It always has. I don't know if I'm just not good enough, if I haven't done enough good in this life to deserve it, but I just wish for once that the thing I want the most doesn't get snatched away from me like everything else has."

Quinn scooted closer and slid her fingers between Rachel's. "Love, I swear," Quinn brought their fingers to her lips. "You said last night that you felt like you had found the love of your life. I'm starting to believe that you are mine. And if you think for one second I'm going to let anyone take that from me, you've got another thing coming." Quinn dunked her head until she caught Rachel's eyes with her own. "I did not go through four years of watching you fawn over the oaf of a boy, and another five years of trying to become friends with you, just to let you get away from me when you've finally given me a chance. So, are you actually going tell me where this is all coming from. Or are you just going to keep pretending this is you being afraid of losing me?"

Rachel huffed and pulled her hand away, crossing her arms over her chest. "That _is _what this is about."

"Okay, let's say that I believe that. You're telling me that there was nothing else that led up to this feeling?" Rachel pursed her lips and looked away. Quinn bit back a smile, forgetting that sometimes you had to handle Rachel a little differently than you would anyone else. Once a diva, always a diva. She might have matured a lot since high school, but there were still parts of her younger self that would appear at the oddest time. "Rachel, what happened today?"

"Why are you here?"

"Would you like me to leave?" Quinn snapped back.

"No, but I would like an answer."

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm pretty sure I asked you one first."

"Why do you have to make everything a fight?"

Quinn shook her head and leaned back on her arms. "I'm not doing this, Rachel. I'm not letting you start a fight because you don't want to talk. If you don't want to tell me, then don't. But don't try to goad me."

Rachel huffed again and screwed her face up. She was being a brat. She knew she was being a brat. Her emotions were running high and she knew part of it was what was going on, and part of it was her being on her period, and part of it was plain just being upset at life. She _was_ being honest when she told Quinn she was afraid of her, but she was also afraid of Quinn seeing her as a failure.

"Rachel, whatever it is, whatever happened in the last twenty-four hours that caused... this," Quinn waved her hands between them, "is just more than just you being afraid of losing what we have together."

"Why can't you believe that that thought scares me?"

Quinn slid up the bed next to Rachel. "I do believe it. But I also believe it was you that told me that sometimes we have to take risk in order to experience something great. Or was that just a speech to get me to see my mother?"

"It wasn't. I truly believe everything in our lives has the potential to either make us happy or to ruin us. And Quinn, you could completely ruin me." Rachel admitted softly.

"I want to ruin you, Rachel. I want to completely and utterly destroy you." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist before the brunette could even think to move away. "I want to ruin you for anyone else. I want you to be destroyed by a simple kiss, because you know you'll never feel something as beautiful. I want no one ever to compare. I want to know that no one else will ever do. And yes, I realize that that's horrible and selfish, but I can't help but…"

Quinn's words were cut off by Rachel's lips. "I'm sorry. I _am _glad you're here." Rachel whispered against her lips.

"I was starting to wonder." Quinn said before lightly kissing the crazy woman next to her. She put all her love and devotion into the simple press of lips that she could. She smiled at Rachel's glazed eyes as she pulled back and lifted her eyebrow. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

"You first."

"Mine is simple. There was a huge leak on set last night and my scenes have been pushed back at least two days." Quinn leaned against the headboard. "Your turn."

Rachel took a deep breath and lowered her head onto Quinn's lap. "I had a bad day."

"Rachel." Quinn sighed as she ran her fingers through soft, brown locks. "Did the audition not go well?"

"Saying it didn't go well would be a colossal understatement."

"Colossal? You couldn't just say big or huge like a normal person?"

"Normal is overrated and neither of those words come close to how horribly awful it went."

"Are you going to tell me why it was 'horribly awful' or do I have to guess?"

"You'll think I'm a failure." Rachel muttered into her thighs. "You know, when I was in high school and I had all these big Broadway dreams, I just got used to everyone laughing at me and I figured one day I would make it and I would show them that I'm not a joke anymore. And now I would love for someone to laugh. I would love not to feel like I'm losing everything again."

"Rae, you're not losing everything. Maybe it just isn't the right time for this role. It's not like it's the only one on the table."

"But I wanted _this_ role." Rachel whined as she hugged Quinn's legs and breathed in Quinn's comforting scent.

"I know you did. And who knows, maybe you'll still get it."

"Doubtful. I was interrogated like a common criminal."

"I doubt it was that bad."

"You weren't there. They didn't give me a chance to even sing. Not really anyway. And then they questioned me for two hours. About my background. My resume. Our relationship. And they had done their homework, far passed what we revealed to Diane. They knew about Shelby."

"You've never hid your relationship with her, love."

"No, I mean, they knew about your relationship with Shelby." Quinn's hands stilled in her hair and Rachel bit her lip Maybe that wasn't the best way to spring that on her.

"They know about Beth?"

"They know she adopted your child. I don't know if they know her name, it wasn't brought up."

"Jesus."

"Exactly. Which is why I was completely flustered by the time that I got to the part where I was required to read copy. I completely forgot the lines and even when I was reading them off the page… I wasn't completely there. I was worried about what they knew, how it would affect you, what Beth's life would be like if someone were to publicly acknowledge that my sister is your biological daughter. All these worst case scenarios kept flying through my head."

"Rae, you can't let yourself worry about all of that. If it happens, it happens, and we'll deal with it if and when it does."

Rachel rolled over and looked up at Quinn. "I'd like to at least have some sort of contention plan in place."

"Of course you would, but we're not discussing that right now, Rachel. Right now, you are telling me about your horrible audition."

Rachel huffed and rolled back over. "It wasn't an audition. I've been to auditions. Hundreds by this point. It was a firing squad."

"You've had bad auditions before." They both heard the underlying question. Why was she taking this one so hard?

"It was just... I... it wasn't just this. It was everything. And this was just the icing on the cake."

Quinn's fingers fell into Rachel's hair again, raking her nails across her scalp, playing with her long hair, knowing it seemed to sooth the small diva. "Talk to me, Rachel."

"I don't know if I've ever been this stressed out before in my entire life, and that in itself is saying a lot. I mean, I'm dating you, which while being amazing, is a bit nerve-wracking because you're you and completely out of my league." Rachel powered on knowing if she hesitated for even a second Quinn would disagree with her and right now she just needed to get everything out. "There was all the stuff with sleeping together, I mean the many failed attempts that lead to the first successful attempt that was of course done where anyone and everyone could see. And that lead to the interview, which while not being horrible, wasn't all that great to go through either. And then there was this stupid audition, for this stupid role that I stupidly would kill for. And if all that wasn't enough, my period started today which means I am even more of an emotional basket case than normal. I have cramps and I feel like my uterus is trying to claw through my stomach. And I'm hungry and craving chocolate."

"You're cute when you're upset." Quinn chuckled right as there was a knock on the door. "I may not be able to fix all of that, but I can at least help with the last two."

Rachel sighed as Quinn slid from beneath her. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, or what was in store for them, but she was so beyond glad that she didn't have to face it alone. The smile that Quinn sent over her shoulder as she headed to the door to retrieve their supper seemed to help soothe the ache that had plagued her all day. Maybe Quinn was right. Maybe this role wasn't meant for her. But there were others out there that were.

* * *

**Yes, yes, I know, I'm evil and haven't mentioned the semi-cliffhanger from the previous chapter. There are plenty of context clues in both this chapter and the last line of the previous one. Let me know if you figure it out! I'd love to hear your theories, opinions, and thoughts.**


	27. Distance and Space

**Just broke my 300th review on QQF! You guys are amazing! A huge shout out to my awesome reviewers and to the 500+ people who are currently following this story. I'm lucky to have met some amazing people through this story -your reviews and friendship means so much to me!  
**

* * *

Quinn rubbed at her scratchy eyes and reached beside her, finding only cool sheets under her fingertips. She sat up, sheet pooling around her waist, as she reached for her phone, noting it had only been a few hours since they'd fallen asleep together. She sat her phone back down and let her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, the only light spilling in through the window of their hotel suite. She pulled the sheets closer to her chest as she took in the silhouette of her favorite diva outlined against the valley of lights beyond the little haven they'd created over the last few hours. Quinn watched Rachel as she stared at the window, knowing exactly what pulled Rachel from their bed. It was the same thing they'd been avoiding since their conversation the night before, the same reason that Rachel mentioned losing her, losing their relationship. It was the elephant in the room that they had managed to sidestep with a decadent supper in bed, complete with vegan chocolate mousse. It was the thing they hesitated over as they looked into each other's eyes, knowing it was looming in their peripheral vision, but both refused to look at it head on. They discussed the audition in detail, the upcoming roles Rachel had to look forward to, and how the delay in filming would affect Quinn's schedule. Anything and everything but the huge elephant that threatened to crush them the moment they acknowledged its existence.

Quinn swallowed over the lump in her throat, knowing that their time had run out. She softly called out for her lover and waited, hoping Rachel would return to her, return to their bed, even as she knew it was unlikely to happen. The only indication Rachel had even heard her was the exaggerated lift of Rachel's shoulders as she heaved in a breath. Quinn worried as she watched Rachel wrap her arms tighter around herself slowly, her breath fogging up the window she was leaning upon. When Rachel's shoulders begin to shake, Quinn stood quietly, wrapping the sheet around her naked body as she went, wishing they could go back in time, that they could stop this moment from happening. She stopped behind Rachel as silent sobs shook the woman's shoulders, afraid to touch her, to wrap her arms around her like she so wanted to. The time for that was gone.

"Rae?" Quinn hesitantly placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders, afraid to startle her, afraid she'd be pushed away. She silently sighed in relief as Rachel leaned back against her, and she dropped her hands, sliding her arms around Rachel's waist. She pulled Rachel closer, holding her against her chest as she hummed softly, waiting for the words she knew would come. Quinn felt her chest ache and a weight settle around her shoulders, her throat aching as she tried to hum around the lump that was permanently lodged there. If she was honest, she had been expecting this from the moment she'd arrived the day before. Expecting it, and dreading it with every fiber of her body.

Rachel was leaving.

Wet eyes stared listlessly out the window, staring at the beautiful lights flickering beyond its expanse, without really seeing any of it. She was tired and knew she should be in bed, sleeping. She knew that she would need her rest with everything that was happening. Still, knowing something and making it happen are two totally different things. Every time she closed her eyes the pain that settled against her chest made it impossible to breath. She blinked, thinking that it was just yesterday she had been wishing Quinn was beside her so her presence could lull her to sleep. Yet, barely twenty-four hours later she couldn't bring herself to stay in the warm embrace of her lover, and had long since left the comfort of their bed. She fought off a chill at the thought of what was happening even as she let the warmth of Quinn's body pressed against her back, her arms wrapped around her, soothe away a bit of the ache that filled her soul. She wondered again how her biggest tormentor had become her quiet shelter. A shelter she was leaving all too soon. Rachel felt the breath catch in her throat at the thought, knowing Quinn had as well as the taller woman holding her tighter until Rachel turned in the circle of her arms, burying her face in the crook of Quinn's neck. Neither spoke as Rachel's tears slowly dwindled, both content just to hold each other and ignore what was happening.

"I have to." Rachel's voice broke the silence, offering no more, no less.

Quinn's breath left her chest at the words. "I wish you didn't."

Rachel nodded into her neck as she clung to the sheet gathered at the small of Quinn's back. "Me too."

Quinn laughed humorlessly. "I could barely survive a night without you. I don't see how I'm going to last forever without you by my side." She smiled sadly as she felt Rachel chuckle into her neck.

"And they call me the dramatic one." Quinn felt the words whisper against her skin along with the small smile on her lover's lips where that pressed against her neck.

"Because you are."

"Yes, well," Rachel took a fortifying breath as she took a step back, "I guess I'm rubbing off on you."

Quinn bit back a smirk as her mind went to dirty places for a moment before she remembered the seriousness of the conversation. Quinn sighed and took Rachel's hand, pulling her towards the bed. As much as she'd love nothing more than to fall into bed together and let those naughty thoughts bloom into reality, she knew that now wasn't the time, no matter what her overactive imagination might think. Honestly, she would rather ignore reality and would just be happy to hold Rachel in her arms. She wouldn't need any more than that. If she could just hold Rachel she could pretend this wasn't happening. Quinn sat on the edge of the bed and looked up into Rachel's eyes, still damp with her tears, and swallowed hard before she moved to lean against the headboard. She wasted little time pulling Rachel down next to her, breathing out a sigh of contentment as Rachel settled against her shoulder, the length of her body pressed against Quinn's side. She beat back the lump in her throat that said this wouldn't be happening again for a long time, if ever. She couldn't seem to stop her thoughts from going to the place that said this was the end for them. It was all too much, too soon, too difficult for them to keep up forever.

Rachel snuggled closer, playing with the folds of sheets that covered her lover's torso, and sighed heavily. Her eyes still burned with tears that she refused to let fall. She wanted to blame her hormones for her state of emotions but she knew it was more that. She just wanted things to go easy for one time in her life. Rachel twisted the sheets in her fist, hanging on for dear life, before releasing them and smoothing them out again. Quinn knew why she was so tense, she knew that her breakdown in front of the hotel door was more than just missing her and having a rough day, though those things didn't help the situation any. They had agreed before she'd left LA that they wouldn't talk about it, but Rachel knew the moment Quinn had shown up at her hotel unexpectedly, that truce was out the window. Still, they both played the game for as long as they could before falling into bed together, Rachel convincing Quinn to let her take care of her, one last time. She'd thoroughly wore Quinn out and though she was tired, she'd stayed awake, watching as the angel beside her slept before her thoughts had pulled her from their bed. Rachel ran her fingers through the folds of sheet, feeling the warmth emanating from the woman beneath her, dancing over the spot she knew was still scarred from Quinn's accident in high school. It was a reminder that their time was short. It would always have an expiration date. She knew that. They both did. This time though, their time had ran out before either of them were ready for it to.

She let her hand fall still as she felt Quinn's fingers in her hair, silently soothing away her pain and worries. Nothing had ever quite felt as much like home as lying in Quinn's arms did. Every smile, every smell, every touch felt like home. She could hear the beat of her heart in her ear, feel her chest rise with every breath, breath that brushed against her hair with every exhale. She could feel the weight of her arms where they draped around her back, hands clasped together over Rachel's side. She could feel the warmth of her body pressed against her front as she laid against Quinn. Rachel was in awe of it all and completely in awe of the woman who held her. She was in awe of the woman Quinn had grown to be. She was in awe of who they'd become to each other. And she had a feeling she always would be. It still caught her by surprise how quickly it all seemed to happen, how quickly Quinn had come to mean this much to her. It had been just under a year ago that she'd shown up on Quinn's doorstep, defeated and disheartened by her show being cancelled. They'd grown closer in the months after. She'd officially moved in eight months ago and they'd finally taking the next step in their relationship less than two months later. Try as she might, Rachel couldn't even pinpoint when her feelings had changed so drastically, but they had. And now she felt like she couldn't breath just imagining a time without Quinn by her side.

Rachel sighed and slid her arm around Quinn's waist, hugging herself impossibly closer to the woman who had "I didn't know this was going to happen between us."

Quinn brushed her lips across Rachel's forehead. "Neither of us did, Rae. I don't think something like this is something you plan for. It just happens. It sweeps you away before you even realize you're falling."

Rachel leaned back, looking up into cloudy, hazel eyes. "I did you know. Fall for you."

Quinn's lips turned up. "I fell for you too."

"This isn't forever."

"It could be."

Rachel shook her head to refute the words. "No, Quinn. This _isn't_ forever."

Quinn ground down on her back teeth and willed away the anger and hurt she was feeling, knowing even as she barked out the words that she failed to disguise it. "Then why does it feel like it?" Quinn couldn't help how hard her words came out. She felt like she was drowning. She'd been cheated on, broken up with, she'd been abandoned by her own parents, and pushed to the side more times than she could count -and none of that seemed to hurt as much as this did.

Rachel sat up and turned to face the woman she'd fallen so deeply in love with. "Lucy Quinn Fabray, I want you to listen to me right now." Rachel demanded as she placed her hands on either side of Quinn's face. "This. Is. _Not._ Forever."

"It feels like it." Quinn repeated, hating how broken it sounded the second time around.

"Quinn, when I signed that damn contract _this_," she motioned to the small space between them, "was remotely even a possibility. Like you said, our relationship wasn't something that we could have seen coming a year ago, or even six months ago. And for all of my foresight, I didn't see _us _ever being something you would contemplate. So when they offered me the part, I jumped at the chance and now I couldn't get out of the contract, even if I wanted to."

Quinn sighed and leaned her head against Rachel's. "I know all that. Logically, I know this isn't you running away, but honestly, with everything that's happened, I wouldn't blame you." Rachel smiled sadly and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind Quinn's ear, her fingers brushing Quinn's cheek until Quinn leaned into her hand.

"I'm not. I meant it when I said I'm in this for the long haul, Quinn. Just because I'm not going to be here, doesn't mean I don't want to be."

Quinn nodded, she knew that. "I know. And I know you'll be back, I do. I just… I just…" Quinn struggled to find the words as she looked desperately into Rachel's eyes.

"Me too." Rachel dipped her head, brushing her lips across Quinn's. She knew what she wasn't saying, because it's what she wanted too. She wished they just had more time, just had a normal life, just could be them. But their lives weren't normal. They lived a life of chaos and crazy schedules and flying around the world. It was a life that was envied by many, but few really understood what it meant. It meant being hounded by the press. It meant having very little privacy and long, grueling hours of work. It meant days and weeks and months away from family and friends and lovers. Honestly, when ever she thought about it in those terms though, it made her feel a bit guilty, and gave her a greater appreciation for the men and women who served in the armed forces, and for their families. It was one of the reasons she tried to join as many USO and Armed Forces Entertainment tours as she could. She at least knew she'd be shooting on a secure set, able to call and talk to her loved ones whenever she wanted, with the knowledge that she'd be able to get on a plane and go home tomorrow if she wished. She knew that those in the military didn't have the luxury, nor did their families.

But knowing she'd be back didn't make leaving any easier. "We knew months ago that I was going to have to go shoot on location for this guest spot. We _knew_ I'd be gone for at least two months."

"But like you said, months ago this wasn't a reality. Like I told you when you first were offered the part, who wouldn't give up two months of their lives to be a part of Game of Thrones?" Quinn shrugged dejectedly.

"I would give up everything for you." Rachel whispered as she softly pressed her lips against Quinn's.

Quinn ran her fingers through soft, dark locks as she kissed her girlfriend again. "It's a good thing I would never ask you to then. I'm just going to miss you."

"I know. And I'll miss you too."

"There is always Facetime."

"And Skype."

"And all those silly apps you insist on using." Quinn huffed out a chuckle as she pulled Rachel closer to her. She knew logically that this wasn't the end of them, honestly she did, but she wasn't used to this feeling. They had talked the night before while eating and Quinn had admitted to Rachel just how much this feeling was bothering her. She wasn't used to being dependent on someone. Not that she really felt she was dependent on Rachel. Even when they lived together before becoming more that had maintained outside friendships, they each had their own schedules, and often did things away from each other. And maybe that was the thing that was bothering Quinn most about this upcoming separation. For over a month they had done practically everything together. It had brought them closer together than most normal relationships would have been able to get in that month's time, but it also set them up for unrealistic expectations.

Quinn couldn't expect thing to always be like they had been the month before the drama began. If anything, the drama they faced should be seen as their norm, because as celebrities, it truly was the normal, everyday things they would have to face. They would always have the paparazzi following them. They would always have to answer to their fans. And to the studios that hired them. Or the production companies that ran the plays that Rachel was born to star in. There would always be them flying off for sometimes weeks and months on end to go do shoots, or press tours for upcoming movies and shows. There would be times that they wouldn't see each other for weeks and weeks at a time. And as much as Quinn knew that one some level when they first began this thing between them, it really didn't truly hit home until she watched Rachel get into a cab with more luggage than she'd ever possibly need, knowing that she was flying off to her audition and then halfway around the world. It took everything in Quinn's power to stop from following after her, knowing that it would completely cost her her career if she did. But the moment that she got a call from her producers PA telling her that they wouldn't be filming any of her scenes for at least the next two days, she booked the next flight out. She knew it was rash and impulsive and would probably lead to more tears than she'd ever willingly admit to shedding, but she needed this, she needed this time with Rachel, even if it was only a few hours.

Rachel watched her lover's thoughts floating across her face. She wasn't sure what they were and for once she didn't mind knowing. It gave her time to map out and memorize a face that she had known for years. She could see the subtle differences from the girl she knew in high school. Quinn's hair was slightly darker and longer than it had been a few months ago. Rachel loved the curl it had, the way it brushed her shoulders and softly framed her face. She let her fingers play with the tips, knowing the next time she saw her, her hair would be cut into the wild, shorter style she sported for her show. Rachel took in the slight smile lines that edged her mouth, her cheekbones and jaw that seemed to grow even more chiseled as she aged. Gone was the angelic baby face she sported in high school and an even more gorgeous woman was what remained behind.

"I'm going to miss you." Rachel whispered into the stillness that had settled around them. "Even with all those things, I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, Rae." 

* * *

They said their goodbyes at the hotel even though they were both heading for the same airport -Quinn back to LA and Rachel off to Spain where the first round of shooting was to take place. Quinn envied the places that Rachel would get to see and experience without her. She knew with the extensive confidentiality contracts that Rachel had for this role that there was no way she'd even be able to fly out on her days off to see her. She contemplated how she would spend the next few months of downtime between shooting. It was hard to remember what life had been like before Rachel had shown up at her door step.

Quinn smiled to herself as she watched the clouds beneath her. She couldn't help but remember all the dates they'd truly had before they had even realized they were falling into a relationship. Rachel had drug her to small theater companies around town. In turn she had made Rachel attend movie premieres for films she would never watch unless she was forced to. Now that she thought about it, it was surprising no one had linked them together long before they'd horribly outed themselves. They hadn't been low-key about spending time together. She knew there was a bit of talk after STEEL but they'd had picnics, went to ball games, been all over town. And Quinn wouldn't trade a moment for it. Even if she had no idea what to do with herself now.

She tried remembering what he used to do. There were parties, clubs, and everything that came with being a young, rising star. Everything that she no longer had any interest in. Not that she had really cared for it at the time. Everyone was superficial and finding someone real in Hollywood was difficult. The few friends outside her cast mates that she had made were completely removed from the celebrity scene, and those friends were ones she'd barely spoken to since Rachel had moved into town. It wasn't as if she'd made Rachel her sole priority but between the show and the non-dates they'd agreed on when Rachel moved in, there hadn't been a lot of free time. Quinn sighed as she questioned how her former arch nemesis had totally flipped her life upside down without her even realizing that was what was happening.

Quinn pulled out her notebook from her bag and dug around until she found a pen. It had been a while since she had drawn anything, something she'd always secretly loved doing. There was just something about putting a pen to a blank sheet of paper and making it come to life that soothed her. She moved her hand, concentrating on the image that had formed behind her minds eye. By the time the flight attendants were asking for trays to be lifted, Quinn's page was filled with sketches and notes, ideas overflowing from her. She smiled as she looked at the sketch, wondering just what Rachel would think of her new project. 

* * *

Rachel sighed as she leaned her head back against the moderately uncomfortable headrest, hating the long flight and her inability to sleep. Her mind kept coming back to the conversations she'd had with Quinn over the last day and a half. She knew they were both worried about what two or three months apart would mean for their relationship. They'd both made good points, and as much as Rachel believed they would be okay, she couldn't help but worry that this might be the final thing that broke them. They'd already been through so much in such a short amount of time she couldn't help but think that the smallest thing would cause them to crumble down. She was used to every relationship she'd ever been coming to an abrupt and brutal ending and more than any relationship she'd ever been in before, she wanted this one to succeed. She hadn't told Quinn for fear of scaring her off, but she could honestly picture a life with Quinn. Not just a fantasy like she'd had once upon a time with Finn in high school, with him in the background as she chased her dream of Broadway, but an actual future, with both of them present as equals.

Rachel closed her eyes as she thought about it. She'd never had a relationship where things were truly balanced. In high school she had always been the unpopular, loud, overly opinionated, underdog who didn't deserve to be dating the captain of the football team. The naive girl who had convinced herself to believe every line her gigolo boyfriend had fed her in her first year of college. The Broadway star whose life and career meant more to her than the person she was dating. The woman who didn't take anyone else's feelings into consideration but her own. She was no longer the naive woman she'd once been. She was mature enough now to realize that she had been selfish in most of her relationships, if not all of them. She had wanted the attention and the commitment and wasn't afraid to say what she wanted, and expected it to happen. She wasn't above pouting to get her way. She knew how to use guilt to get what she thought she wanted and needed at the time. And for a long time she thought that was what a relationship was.

But this time, this time was different. She didn't want Quinn to shower her with attention and gifts. She didn't want Quinn to bend to her will. She wanted a partnership. She wanted to hear what Quinn had to say and wanted to take her opinion to heart, she wanted Quinn to help her make decisions. She wanted to make Quinn happy. She wanted to give QUinn things, just to see that shy smile she'd get when she was secretly pleased. She didn't want to go out, showing off her current arm candy. Rachel was just as happy curling up together on the couch with a cheesy movie playing and a carton of take out being shared between them. She could picture them walking down the red carpet together as one or the other of them were nominated for an award. And when she thought about them walking down an aisle together she couldn't help but picture them getting married, and having kids, and making a life together.

Rachel sighed in relief when the pilot welcomed them to New York City. She had a five hour layover before she was expected to board a plane heading to Belfast, Ireland, the location of the shows main studio and her first stop on what would eventually become a world tour of filming locations. As soon as they were touched down Rachel reached for her phone.

"Tina, I need you to meet me at the Sheraton as soon as possible," Rachel demanded as she threw her over-sized bag over her shoulder and thanked the first class attendant who was kind enough to pull down her carry on.

"Rachel, contrary to what you may believe, I do have clients other than you. I can't drop everything at a moment's notice to meet with you."

Rachel huffed as she made her way off of the plane. "And as much as I respect that, I only have a short layover before I will be out of country for a minimum of two months if filming goes as planned. Which we both know it rarely does."

"What's so important that you have to see me right this second?" Tina sighed in exasperation even as she quickly pulled up her schedule and began to move appointments around. Rachel Berry wasn't someone you said no to, regardless of how long you'd known her.

"I have an answer for the studio."

Tina scrambled from behind her desk, buzzing her assistant as she began shoving documents into her briefcase. "I'll be there in less than an hour."

Rachel settled into a chair in Rosemary's Lounge, thankful that the immediate area seemed to be relatively free of patrons. It had taken her a little over half an hour to make her way through the airport to catch the next shuttle to JFK's Sheraton hotel and now she was left to wait for her manager to fight her way across town. She knew she'd most likely be sitting here more than the allotted hour Tina had promised her and looked down at her phone for the dozenth time in as many minutes. She took a deep breathe as her finger hovered over the call button again, exhaling as she finally found the courage to connect the call.

"How's your layover?"

"It's been relatively painless thus far, but I have another four hours to go."

"Ahh, so am I supposed to keep you company this entire time?"

"No." Rachel bit the corner of her lip. "Tina is supposed to be here anytime."

"You're meeting with your manager?"

"She's my friend too." Rachel justified.

"Yes, but we both know she's not meeting you in the middle of the day, halfway through the week, when she is normally swamped with calls and contracts, to meet you as a friend."

"Am I making a mistake? Is this a mistake?"

"Sweetie, as much as I would love to, I can't answer that question for you. Do _you_ think it's a mistake?"

"No." Rachel hesitated. "I just, I don't want to rush this. Am I rushing this? Am I pulling a typical Rachel and jumping all in? Pushing for things too fast? Wanting me than I should? I know I have a habit of doing that. I know that I tend to be a little neurotic."

"A little? Rachel, I lived with you. You are more than a little neurotic."

Rachel huffed in irritation. "Kurt! I need some best gay advice, not for you to remind me of all my faults. Believe me. I am plenty aware of them. I live with them everyday."

"Look, Rachel, I've been your quirky, fabulous, amazing best friend for years. But that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you what to do right now." Kurt huffed back, making Rachel jump as he slammed something down loudly. "What I will do," he hesitated before continuing softer, "is tell you that I've never seen you happier. If leaving Broadway indefinitely is going to make you happy, do it. If becoming some big movie or tv star is what it going to make you smile, then that's what you should do." Rachel smiled softly, imagining her best friend putting his arm around her shoulder as he often did when he was imparting his wisdom. "If Quinn Fabray, of all people, makes you happy, then you hang on to her." Rachel could hear the smile in his voice even as he jumped back to his quirky, outrageous self. "Even if it is absolutely insane and out of this world that you and Quinn work so well together. I mean, seriously, that is probably the craziest thing I've ever witnessed in my entire life. And I live in New York City."

"She does make me happy." Rachel said, softly.

"Then stop worrying about everything else. Everything else will work out like it's supposed to."

Rachel looked up as she saw someone moving towards her, lifting her hand to wave at her manager. "I have to go, Kurt. Tina's here."

"Of course, just use me and run."

"Thank you, Kurt. I'll talk to you soon."

The two said their goodbyes as Tina and her PA sat down across from Rachel, both pulling out their iPads and folders of paperwork as they did. Tina lifted a finger before turning and waving a server over.

"We're going to need something to get through the next two hours. We'll need one soy mocha latte, no whip, extra foam. One sparkling water with a squeeze of lime. And a vodka tonic."

"Hello to you too, Tina," Rachel said with a smile, ignoring her friend rolling her eyes. "Piper, it's always a pleasure to see you," Rachel addressed Tina's personal assistant before turning back to her manager. "I'm hoping the latte is for me."

"Of course it is. And the vodka is for me. You're driving me to drink, you do realize this?"

"Oh no, you don't get to blame your vices on me."

Tina waved off the comment, "Do you know how many clients I had to reschedule just to be here?"

"Do you know how much money I'm going to be making you?"

"Twice as much as those other clients?" Piper replied with a smirk. Rachel had always liked Tina's assistant.

"Which is the only reason I'm here," Tina smiled as she leaned back letting their waitress place their drinks on the table. She waited for everyone to take a drink before she crossed her leg and smiled over at her long time friend. Happiness and love looked good on her.

"Before we start, I have to tell you that as a friend, I am absolutely thrilled you're going through with this. I have never seen you look so content, so happy. And that's saying a lot seeing as I was witness to Finchel and your perpetual optimism and pep in high school."

"I don't know if I should take the as a compliment or not. Though Kurt said something similar about me being happy on the phone just now."

"Well, nice to know that Kurt and I can actually agree on something."

"Other than his husband."

"Please, that was a phase, and if memory serves me right, you were the one that made out with him. I just drooled for a while."

"You both went after Blaine?" Piper laughed, loving the banter than Tina and Rachel always seemed to have.

Rachel rolled her eyes at the assistant and rethought her approval of the woman. "Long story, but yes. And before you say anything, yes, we both realize he is and always has been completely gay."

"Agreed. Now, back to business." Tina said as she sipped her drink. "As happy as I am that you and Quinn have finally navigated the minefield of your relationship, as your manager I have to ask again if you're sure this is what you want to do? It's been a year since you've left the stage, I am still getting daily calls asking for you to audition." Tina sat forward and pulled up a file, turning her tablet for Rachel to look at if she so wished. "I constantly have a stack of contracts on my desk guaranteeing you prime roles, both on and off-Broadway. A number of very good offers. You would have your choice of many brilliant up and coming plays. There is also a few revivals in the works that I'm sure you would be simply brilliant in. I believe there may even be a record deal or two in the mix. All you have to do is say the word."

Rachel smiled at her friend, thankful that even though she was her friend, she still had the ability to speak as her manager as well. She loved having both roles wrapped up in the same person. She knew that Tina would always look out for her best interest, both professionally and on a more personal level.

"You know what my answer will be, but before I agree to sign anything, I need to know your honest opinion. Do you think this is the right move for my career?" She knew, no matter what, Tina would always tell her what she thought, and if she thought it was a foolish career move, Rachel would definitely take her words into consideration.

She watched the Asian woman lean back and sip on her drink, content to give the woman time to truly think over the answer. "Rachel, if you had asked me a year ago if leaving the stage was the right thing for you, I would have called you an idiot for even thinking about it. But you didn't ask me. You packed a bag and flew across the country. While I understand now why you did it, at the time, I was truly worried that your career could be over." Tina took another drink to give herself time to gather her thoughts. "A year later, I can admit I was wrong. You've not only managed not to fail, you've succeeded tremendously."

"When I was first hired, you told me never to underestimate Rachel Berry." Piper added.

"I might have. And yet, I still do at times." Tina turned her attention back to Rachel and the point she was trying to make. "I think, if this is what you've decided to do, then there is nothing stopping you from finding success."

Less than an hour later everything was signed and Rachel was back in the VIP waiting lounge, her finger yet again hesitating over the call button -this time not out of anxiety and dread. She knew she could face these few months apart, because what came after would be worth it.

"Hey beautiful!"

Rachel smiled and clutched the phone closer to her. "Is that how you answer all of your calls?"

"Only when I know there is a stunning woman on the other end of the line."

"Seeing as I know for a fact all of your friends are Hollywood beautiful, that thought should worry me."

"But it won't because you know I am yours." Quinn smiled. It was true and they both knew no matter how many beautiful women Quinn was surrounded by, Rachel now owned her heart. And Quinn held Rachel's as well. "Is it sad that we haven't even been apart twelve hours and I miss you like crazy?"

"You know it's okay to miss each other?"

Quinn ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm still working on that part." She admitted. "How is the layover so far?"

"Not too bad. I had a meaningful conversation with Kurt."

"Meaningful?"

"Yes, he was very insightful."

"As much as I completely hate to admit it, he is pretty good at giving advice. Though it does make me wonder what you were talking to him about that you would need any."

Rachel looked around her to make sure there was no one close enough that was paying attention to her conversation. "I called to seek his advice on a choice I had already made but needed a little reassurance on."

Quinn held her breath. She knew exactly what choice Rachel was referring to. When Tina had shown them the offer, Quinn had seen the split second look of hesitation and apprehension on Rachel's face before it was hidden behind her stage smile as Tina explained the contract. At the time, Quinn had squeezed Rachel's arm and excused herself, even as April jumped around their kitchen excitedly. She knew what she wanted and she refused to let her feelings on the matter influence Rachel's decision. When Rachel had found her on their back patio half an hour later, she'd fallen into her arms. They didn't need to talk about it. They both knew each other well enough to know that Rachel wasn't ready to make a decision and that Quinn would give her the time to make it without trying to influence her choice.

"Oh?" Quinn croaked, clearing her throat. "What, uh, what did Kurt say?"

"He reaffirmed that doing what was going to make me happy was the right choice."

"So y-you, you made your choice?" Quinn hated how vulnerable her voice sounded as she waited for the answer, but this decision would affect them both for a long time to come.

"I did."

The line stayed quiet as Rachel dangled the answer in the space between them, wondering as she smiled to herself how long it would take Quinn to lose her patience. She smiled when she heard Quinn curse under her breath, no longer able to wait for the answer she'd been waiting days for.

"Rachel, I swear to god-" Rachel's laughter interrupted her rant. "Rachel!"

"I'm sorry. You're just so cute when you're impatient."

"I am _not_ cute."

"Completely adorable." Rachel chuckled.

"Rae!"

"I'm doing it, Quinn!" Rachel blurted, unable to stop the silly grin that spread across her face at the words. "I'm accepted the role."

All the air rushed from Quinn's lungs. She was sure that Rachel would turn down the offer. "Y-you are?"

"I already met with Tina and everything," Rachel said exuberantly. Rachel smiled and lowered her voice. "I am, Quinn."

"I just want you to be sure, Rachel. I don't want you to regret this, and in turn end up regretting me, regretting us."

Rachel watched the people coming and going from the private seating area and thought about how to explain it to the woman she'd fallen in love with. "I understand that, and you have no idea how much I love and respect you for it. But I've thought this decision through and as much as I _do_ love you, this choice wasn't about you, or us, this was about me and my career. This is the right choice for me right now. Having you close by is just an added bonus. And before you worry, this doesn't mean I'm leaving the stage forever."

"So you're taking the role then?"

"I am." Quinn could hear the smile in her voice. "Carmina Tallman is rising from the dead." 

* * *

**In my original outline of this story, our fabulous twosome was scheduled to break up in this chapter. After much deliberation, I realized that happening no longer fit into the story the characters hijacked from me. They've worked too hard for a little thing like distance to completely separate them.**

**Hopefully, the last line will clear up a bit of the mysterious cliffhanger. And if not, well, you may have a small wait for the full answers. I'll be out of the country on vacation for a few weeks. Meaning the updates will either come a lot faster, or be fewer and farther between until summer is over. Hoping for the first, but truthfully expecting the last. Don't worry though, I promise not to abandon y'all or this story. At this point I'm sure I have a person or two who would fly across the country and kick my butt if I tried to ;) **


	28. Longing and Misunderstandings

**I know it's been well over two months, so for those of you who have been amazing enough to hang in there with me and come back to QQF -Thank you! You all are amazing. Hopefully, this (fairly long) chapter was worth the crazy, long wait. **

* * *

Rachel sighed as she heard a sharp rap on her trailer door. She knew it was one of the production assistants coming to fetch her for her next scene, she just needed a moment, one moment. It wasn't that she didn't like what she was doing. The experience had been hard, and grueling, but it had been nothing short of amazing. The director was fantastic. The crew knew what they were doing and how to get it done. And the cast was wonderful. She'd even gone out more than a few times with various members. She just... Rachel eyed the door that was being knocked on with more force and sighed again.

"Come in," Rachel gave a small smile to the beaming PA that stood at the door to her trailer, but the smile felt forced. It was a stage smile, one she'd patented back in high school. She was in a melancholy mood and just couldn't muster a real smile.

"Hello, Ms. Berry. I'm here to escort you to make-up." Rachel's smile became a little more relaxed, a little more real. She liked Camie, the PA she most often worked with on set. She was spunky and upbeat and always had a smile for whoever needed one. And Rachel needed one with the sinking realization that she was once again off to make-up and wardrobe –what she fully believed was the worst part of working on a show like Game of Thrones. She was sure that she could almost do as good of a job by rolling around in a pile of dirt. Still, she was a professional and if the role called for her to look smudged and filthy, wearing little more than scraps of cloth for various scenes, then she would wear clothes that artfully looked like they had been mangled, created by the amazing costume department, and would look, and feel, like she hadn't showered for months.

"Camila, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Rachel?" Rachel teased as they walked away from the caravan of trailers.

"As many times as I have to tell you to call me Camie, I would guess."

Rachel smiled, brightly. "Touché."

She ambled across the dusty lot with the PA, lost in her own thoughts. She wouldn't have given up the experience of working on this show for anything, but even the joy of working on such a production couldn't ease the heaviness that had settled on her shoulders and heart the last few weeks. She missed everything about home. She missed Starbucks. She missed the smell of the ocean. She missed her fathers after spending so much time with them over the holidays. She missed seeing Kurt. She missed hanging out with Brittany and hearing Santana's snark. She missed April and her silliness. But most of all she missed Quinn.

They talked all the time, as often as they could given the time difference and their respective shooting schedules. It just never seemed to be enough. Every time she hung up the phone, every time she signed off a FaceTime call, she missed her more. Rachel couldn't help but wonder if this is what she had been missing out on all along. She'd never felt this amount of longing for anyone, not even Finn if she was honest with herself. Yes, she had missed him and had felt hurt and betrayed by him when he sent her off to New York and then disappeared, but never this bone-deep longing. Rachel would give almost anything just to feel Quinn next to her, just to feel her long arms wrapped around her body, just to hold her. She just wanted to bury her face in Quinn's hair and breath in the scent of her shampoo, the salty air that always settled in her gentle waves after a day of lounging on their deck, and a smell that was purely Quinn.

"Feel free to tell me that it is none of my business," Camie's accented voice interrupted Rachel's thoughts, "but I can't help but notice you've been rather withdrawn the last week or so. Is there something... is everything alright?"

Rachel gave a humorless laugh, wondering if the PA had somehow been reading her thoughts. "It's nothing really. I am just finding myself a bit homesick."

"It must be difficult."

"I'm not used to being away for such long periods of time with little chance of seeing those I care for."

She saw Camie nod out of the corner of her eye. "I can understand that, at least in the abstract. I'm not really close to anyone back home, so this job was perfect for me. But I can understand that not everyone is lucky enough to have few attachments."

"Do you consider that luck?" Rachel truly was aghast at the thought. She needed the people she had in her life and would not trade them for anything in the world. Even if at times those attachments caused her pain. The good times made every moment of pain worth it.

Camie shrugged her shoulders. "At times. I know I would find it very difficult to do this job if I knew I had someone waiting for me somewhere." Rachel took a deep breath and tried to swallow around the lump that suddenly settled in her throat, dismayed to feel tears pooling in her eyes. She looked to the side and tried to discreetly wipe her tears away. She knew she failed when she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her to a stop. "Hey, cariño, why the tears?"

Rachel snorted to herself and wiped her eyes again, "It's nothing."

"Tears are never nothing, chicka."

Rachel shook her head. She was a professional, she could cry on cue, so why couldn't she stop crying when she demanded her body to? "I... I'm just missing someone fiercely today."

"Your Quinn?" Rachel's eyes shot up causing the Spanish girl to laugh. "What? You think we don't have access to television and internet here? Everyone, everywhere, knows about you and your sweetheart."

Rachel laughed at herself. Of course everyone knew. They'd been on every tv channel and just as many websites. She was still floored by the amount of coverage her relationship had garnered though she knew that the way that relationship came to light was the real reason. "Right."

Rachel's mind drifted over her relationship with Quinn while she sat and let the talented stylist do their thing. She wanted to do something for Quinn when she got back home. She wasn't sure what but it would have to be big. Quinn had done so much for them, had put herself out there time and time again in the short span of their relationship and she wanted to do the same for Quinn. She knew that often actions spoke louder than words.

Rachel smiled as she heard "_Time After Time_" playing from her bag. The song had always reminded her of Quinn, even as she sang it with Sam. Maybe even more so because of Sam. Either way, the lyrics just fit. She just never knew which character she was in the song. The one walking too far ahead, or the one calling out. It didn't really matter. The fact was, over the years, regardless of if they were enemies, or friends, or somewhere in between, they had always been there to catch each other, time after time. Rachel looked over at the stylist working on her hair and smiled. "I need to take this."

"Yeah, no, go ahead."

Rachel turned and slid her finger across the screen, smiling briefly at the goofy face looking back at her and tried to clear her throat before she lifted her phone to her ear, unable to stop the smile that filled her face as she stood up and slid out of the trailer that served as their make-up department. "I was just thinking about you."

Quinn could hear the tension in Rachel's voice as well as the smile and couldn't help but smile in return. "I was missing you."

Rachel's throat closed up at the admission as she walked around the side of the building, trying to find a little bit of privacy on the busy set. "I -I... me too."

Quinn sat up a bit straighter in her make-up chair, shooing off the make-up artist that had just stepped closer. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Rachel said as she cleared her throat and tried to wipe her eyes with no one noticing. "Why would you think something was wrong?"

"Don't bull shit a bull shitter, Rachel. I _know_ you, and after all this time, I know what you sound like when you cry."

Rachel sighed and leaned against the side of the trailer she stood next to. "I'm just having a rough day and I'm homesick. I'm missing you and everyone. And this is just... so much harder than I thought it would be."

"Hey, you've only got about a month left and then you can come home to me. We will all be here waiting for you when you get back, okay?"

"I know. And I know it's silly. It's only been a month. But it seems so much longer."

Quinn sighed and went to run her hands through her hair until the stylist caught her eye and glared her down. Quinn rolled her eyes and dropped her hand. "It hasn't been easy here either. I tried calling up some old friends but all they want to do is go out and party and that's just not my scene anymore."

"No?"

Quinn chuckled. "No. I find that I rather enjoy our nights in. Or the few dinner parties we've hosted. Plus, I don't want to go out and dance with anyone but you."

Rachel felt her heart flutter at the quiet admission before she had to laugh. "Yes, well, the one time we actually did that, we got ourselves into a bit of trouble."

"A bit?" Quinn deadpanned.

"Toe-may-to, ta-ma-to." Rachel smiled.

"There is the smile I was looking for." Quinn's voice soften and she cupped the phone closer, trying to find a bit of privacy in the full room. "I wouldn't mind doing that again. Maybe in the privacy of our own house next time?"

"I might be willing for a private repeat performance."

"I look forward to it."

Rachel watched as Camie strolled passed before the woman stopped and backtracked, apparently looking for her. She gave her a sad smile as she pointed to her wrist, where once upon a time, a watch would have once sat. Though Rachel was sure the girl had probably never wore a watch in her life. Times change, she thought to herself. She lifted a finger, asking for a minute, before she returned to her call.

"As much as I love hearing your voice, and thinking about coming home, I am needed in make-up."

"I'm sitting in make-up now. Like I said, I was missing you."

"Me too. More than you know."

"We will probably be shooting late tonight so if you want to give me a call when you wake up, I'll probably be just getting in."

"Isn't it like, what, four a.m. there?"

Quinn sighed. She hated their filming schedule sometimes. "Five. Our current director is pushing us hard for this episode, so we're pulling eighteen hour days. Sometimes longer. I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to get you or if you would be in the middle of filming."

"We filmed two scenes before lunch. I think we have another few hours left before they call it a day and then I have a feeling I'll be dragged out to supper."

Quinn's hands tensed around the phone as she felt her jealousy flair up. It wasn't that she thought that Rachel would do anything with anyone, she trusted Rachel completely. It wasn't even a romantic jealousy that she felt spring to life. She was jealous that she couldn't be the one dragging Rachel out to supper to make her feel better. She hated that she couldn't be there to do the small things that she loved doing for Rachel. It was silly and pointless, but she couldn't help it. Every time that her diva ranted about someone bringing her cold coffee she couldn't help but think "I'd be sure it was made perfectly and just the right temperature." When she knew that Rachel was sad, she wanted to be the one to make her smile again. When Rachel would tell her that one of her cast mates had brought her to this place or that, she hated that person because they got what little spare time Rachel had. It was silly and irrational, and made her feel guilty every single time. Because when push came to shove Quinn was thrilled that Rachel had people to do those things with, people who helped her when she needed it, and brought her caffeine -even if it was cold. They did all the things she couldn't do because of distance.

Quinn swallowed back her jealousy and breathed out the words she wanted to say since she'd first heard Rachel's voice. "I love you."

Rachel couldn't help but melt. Her brain went to mush, her heart flipped in her chest, and her stomach did somersaults. "I love you too."

* * *

A week. It had been a week since she'd had a chance to talk to her girlfriend. With a nine hour difference they would just miss each other as one or the other was getting up to go to work and the other heading to bed. And when they happened to both be awake, they'd be on their respective sets and unable to get even five minutes at the same time to make a call. Quinn looked down at her phone sitting on the window sill. She knew that Rachel would either be just getting up or already on the way to set, and as much as she wanted to call, she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone.

Quinn sighed and held her cup of coffee closer to her chest. She watched as a storm brewed over the ocean –a sight that usually soothed her. The night was so dark that you couldn't make out the waves crashing upon the shore, only the sound and the ever present smell of salt of the air reminded you that beyond your line of sight lay a vast ocean. She would hold her breath and wait for the flash that illuminated the dark sky, giving life to the heavy clouds that spread as far as they eye could see, reflecting off the waves that swelled and fell miles from shore. Quinn had spent countless hours watching the storms move slowly closer to shore until the rain pelted off her windows, leaving her to take shelter in the cocoon of her reading corner, surrounded by the warm light of the strands of Christmas lights that adorned her walls, illuminating dozens of pictures she'd taken over the years.

Yet, tonight, she found no solace in either the storm or in the atmosphere of comfort she had created in her little hide-a-way. Rachel had text that morning telling her she would probably be extremely busy again as they were coming down to the last three weeks of filming and that she would try to call when she could. It was the same message she'd gotten all week and her fears were beginning to get the best of her. She didn't want to feel like this. What began as a generalized jealousy had slowly grown over the weeks. She hated jealousy. She had always felt that if you didn't have trust in a relationship that you shouldn't be with the other person. She thought that someone who was jealous wasn't secure in themselves. She hated feeling jealous as a kid in high school, she hated what it turned her into, and she never wanted to feel that way again.

Quinn shook her head at herself and traded her empty coffee cup for her phone. Quinn's fingers shook as she dialed a number that she hoped would become familiar with use. She sighed when the phone continued to ring and began to pull the phone away from her ear when she heard a sleepy voice rasp out her name. "Quinn?" Quinn smiled despite her misgivings at the call she'd just made.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Liar. Is everything okay?"

"I can call back tomorrow." Quinn bit her lip and prayed her offer was denied. "I really didn't mean to wake you up." She added when she didn't get a response.

"Really? You call me at… two a.m. and you didn't think you'd wake me up?"

"Does it help if I say that it's only eleven here?"

"No."

"Fine. Will it help if I say that I just really needed to talk to my sister?"

Quinn could hear Fran adjusting in bed and the amusement in her sister's voice as she grunted out a "Maybe."

"Is this going to be a long, you're-going-to-need-coffee, long conversation, or is this just a quick, middle-of-the-night hello?"

Quinn shifted guiltily against the window sill, finally pushing away from the view that was no longer helping ease her overactive imagination. "I really am sorry, Frannie. I should have waited until a more reasonable hour. I'll let you get back–"

"Luce, stop." Fran chided as she stood up and grabbed her robe off the chair she'd dropped it in a few hours before. Fran lowered her voice as she stepped into the hall and walked passed her kids' rooms. "You have never before called me unless you needed something and never in the middle of the night. So I know you wouldn't have called if you didn't need to talk. You need to learn that it doesn't matter what time it is, even some ungodly hour of the night, I will always be here to talk to you."

Quinn weighed her sister's words and found that she was right. After a while she had even stopped calling when she needed something. Now, more than ever, she felt like she needed the reassurance her sister gave her. They were still getting to know each other again, they were still virtually strangers and she wasn't sure just how to approve this new, grown up, version of the young woman she knew as a child.

"I… thank you."

Fran smiled as she set up her Keurig. "You also need to learn when I'm teasing."

Quinn ran her hand through her hair and glared at the wall as she realized what she was doing, dropping into the pile of pillows she used as a reading corner. "Yeah, well, it's been a while."

"Exactly. I think I owe you more than a few middle of the night, sisterly advice, phone calls." Fran let the silence settle into the miles between them as she finished doctoring up her coffee and headed to the living room to get comfortable. She wasn't sure what was wrong with her baby sister, and she may not have had much contact with her sister over the last decade and a half, but she could still tell when something was bothering her little sister. "So, are you going to tell me why you woke me up or are we going to sit here and creepily listen to each other breathe."

"Shit. I'm sorry."

"Do I have to first name you again? Stop apologizing and wasting time that I could be using to sleep and tell me what's going on, Quinn."

"Right." Quinn leaned back. "Do you remember when daddy first started letting you date? And you dated that prat Thomas?"

"Prat? I was sure that once upon a time you were more in love with him than I was."

"Yeah well," Quinn shrugged, she couldn't deny she was smitten, "he was gorgeous. But he hurt you. Ergo, he's a prat."

"Point taken. I didn't even realize you knew he hurt me."

Quinn shrugged to herself. "I heard you crying one night. You were telling one of your friends that he cheated on you or something. I don't really remember the details. I just… I remember wanting to make you stop crying, or to hold you and let you cry like you would have done for me. You were always the one holding me when I got hurt or taking care of me when I got sick. And I wanted to give you that same comfort." Quinn hesitated a moment before she continued. "But I didn't know how. So I just sat outside your door, listening to you cry."

"Oh, Quinn." Fran's heart clenched at the admission, not quite sure which part of what her sister had said saddened her more. She wondered what this had to do with the reason Quinn was calling, sure that her sister hadn't called her in the middle of the night to talk about her failed relationships. "Sweetie, what does this all have to do with you calling?"

"That was the first time I really realized that I don't know how to relate to people. I don't know how to handle emotions, or how to take care of someone else, how to be there for someone."

"No, Quinn, I don't believe that."

"It's true. I couldn't comfort you back then, and it's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I truly don't know if I've ever had a healthy relationship with anyone in my entire life. I am always looking for the angle, wondering what they want from me, what I can get from them. I don't know how to relate to anyone. I don't know how to have a real relationship."

Fran inhaled and nodded to herself. "Daddy did a number on both of us, didn't he?"

Quinn bit her lip. That wasn't exactly what she was talking about, not consciously, but it did make sense. "I… He did. Do you know that it's taken me years not to hear his voice in my head every time I did… every time I do something…wrong?" It came out more like a question than a statement.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Quinn. Who you are is perfect."

Quinn scoffed. "I am _not_ perfect."

"No, but no one is. You just have to learn to give yourself some credit. Daddy taught us to have a hidden agenda. Though I'm sure Sue Sylvester didn't do either of us any favors."

Quinn laughed at the thought of their old cheerleading coach. "I was already fully on the dark side before Sue ever got her clutches into me. She told me more than a few times that I reminded her of a younger Sue."

"That's a terrifying thought."

"It was... for a while. But there is a lot more to Sue than anyone ever realized."

"There is a lot more to you too, Quinn."

Quinn shifted uneasily and laid her hand on her stomach as she stared up at the open beams above her. "This conversation isn't going the direction I thought it would."

Fran hummed into her coffee and wondered again what was bothering her sister enough to dial her number and how all the pieces of their disjointed conversation fit into it. "So? How did you see this going?"

"I'm not entirely sure." Quinn answered honestly.

"Well, why don't you start with why you originally called me?"

"I called you because I was missing Rach and…" Quinn trailed off as her thoughts once again lead her down a path of uneasy doubt.

Fran waited, wondering where her sister's mind had just went. She knew that Rachel had been off on location for well over a month and wouldn't be home for a while still. She was sure that Quinn missed the beautiful brunette, but she knew whatever drove Quinn to call her was about more than just missing her little diva. "And?" Fran prompted as the silence dragged on.

"Is it wrong to be jealous? I always thought that when someone was jealous they were insecure, or didn't trust their partner. I always thought if someone in the relationship was jealous, it was a sign that you weren't meant to be together. But now I can't help but feeling jealous."

"Has Rachel given you a reason not be jealous?"

"No." Quinn shook her head emphatically. "She wouldn't. Ever. I know that." And truly, Quinn believed that Rachel would never cheat on her. Rachel was faithful to a fault and knew the pain of being cheated on.

"But?"

"But I haven't talked to her in almost eight days."

Fran chuckled into her drink at the near whine that assaulted her ears. "Eight days is _not_ that long."

"It is. And it brings up all these stupid questions and doubts and I am not a jealous person. I am not insecure. But she makes me feel like I am back in high school and I have no control over my hormones, thoughts, or emotions. And I feel like I've been pre-programed to think the very worse. Like what we have doesn't mean as much to her. That I don't mean much to her. That she's gotten tired of me. That she's found someone else." Quinn didn't even realize how worked up she had became until she finished her mini-rant and had to catch her breath. She rolled her eyes at herself and waited for her sister to respond.

"You may not have meant our conversation to head this way, but you do realize that all of this circles back around to our father?"

Quinn thought about her sister's words and tried to see how they related to what she was going through at the moment. "How?"

"He taught us to never trust anyone, Quinn. Especially someone we're in a relationship with. When you think about it, his behavior alone showed us that it is impractical to trust a lover. Think about what he put Mom through." Quinn could hear the roughness in Fran's voice and felt her own throat tighten. She knew what her father had put their mom through. It was the family secret that everyone knew. "He cheated for years. He expected everyone to keep his secret. To ignore that he was sleeping around. For years I hid his secrets. He would pay me off with the newest and fanciest tech, and when I outgrew that, it was bigger things. 'Frannie,'" Fran's voice deepened, sounding almost scarily like their father, "'please don't tell your mother. How about we go look at that new Civic you were eyeing?' There were the times that I was sure mom knew and she was just fill her glass and turn a blind eye. He didn't even try to really hide it after a while. There would be phone calls at all hours of the day and night. Mom would just give him that look and Daddy would buy her a new ring and smile and kiss her cheek and everything would be swept under the rug again." Fran shrugged and looked down into her empty coffee cup. "After a while, I was convinced that it was okay, what he was doing. I thought that's just how marriages work."

"Is that why…"

"…why I married someone just like him?"

"I wasn't going to say that."

"No, but it's true isn't it? My ex was a carbon copy of our father. He was a liar and a cheat and I let it happen for too long because I thought it was normal. It's what Daddy taught us. He taught us to lie, to cheat, to question everyone's motives, to try to get as much out of someone as we could. Mom and he taught us that cheating was just a part of a 'healthy' relationship."

"So he conditioned me to assume the worst?"

"Didn't he? We were taught that no matter how things look on the surface, there is always something else going on behind closed doors. We grew up knowing he was cheating, that Mom was a drunk, that none of us were happy, and yet every family portrait has us all smiling and looking like the perfect family." Fran took a breath and lowered her voice that had risen with her ire. "But just because he basically taught us that cheating and lying is normal, doesn't mean it's true. We both have to learn that not everyone is like Daddy."

"I know that."

"Maybe on the surface. Just like on the surface I knew what I was going through wasn't right, that it wasn't normal. But do you really _know_ it? Do you know that you're worthy of being accepted just as you are? Do you know that not everyone is going to cheat on you? That you are special enough and amazing enough for that one person to cherish in a way our parents never cherished each other?"

Quinn swallowed around the lump that had suddenly gotten stuck in her throat. "Wha –what if…" Quinn's voice broke over the tears that suddenly filled her eyes and tightened her throat. "What if I'm not?"

"Oh, Lucy, you are. You are so amazing. And that woman you have, she knows it. Even if you had never told me, I would have seen it in the way you two looked at each other. She looks at you like you went and hung the moon and the stars for her." Quinn chuckled through her tears. She knew that look well. She'd seen it all through high school and it still overwhelmed her to have that look directed at her. "And Luce, you know, you look at her the same way."

"I know." Quinn sniffed and wiped her forearm across her face. "She makes me so crazy, Frannie. Like I don't know if I'm coming or going or what I'm doing half the time. I'm a mess."

"You're in love."

"Is it always like this?"

Fran laughed into her cup. "I wish I knew. I am so crazy jealous of you two."

"You're not!" Quinn laughed.

"I am. You two make me sick, but I can't help but wanting what you two have."

"I love you, Fran."

"I love you, too, brat."

* * *

"I can't believe you answered your phone!" Rachel squealed into her iPhone, overly excited that she had _finally_ reached the love of her life. Almost a week and a half of hit and miss, she was sure that she'd get Quinn right as she was starting to film, just as she usually did.

Quinn looked over at the clock on the far wall and did the math. If it was ten on the west coast it had to be almost one a.m. Rachel time. "I can't believe you're still awake."

"We just wrapped shooting for the next episode about an hour ago. I'm just finally climbing into bed."

"Speaking of climbing into bed, guess what they have me doing on set?"

"Ohhhh, is a certain detective finally getting frisky again?"

"Don't tease! This will be my first sex scene since the ones I shot with you."

"Which means that it will be your first sex scenes since we've been together."

"Exactly. Which I am admittedly a little nervous about. Though the lines are soooo cheesy. Like, almost over the top." Rachel giggled as she listened to Quinn search for her script. "So listen to just part of this scene:

Janet and Elle are having clumsy sex on Janet's couch. Janet awkwardly  
moves his hand across Elle's right breast, fumbling at her nipple.

**Janet**

Oh, El, this is so good

Janet moves her hand to Elle's left breast, moving her hand still moving  
awkwardly against Elle's chest, her hand moving in a circle, clutching at it.

She's going to be clutching at me, Rae. And then it gets better! I completely forget this chick's name. Who forgets a name like Janet? I mean... it's Janet! That was my grandmother's best friend's name. She is begging me to say her name and I completely forget it! But apparently it doesn't seem to bother her all that much because we don't stop having weird, awkward sex while she says lines straight out of a bad porno."

Rachel laughed and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"At least our scenes were somewhat serious."

"Mmm at least those scenes were. Do you know how many times I had to take a cold shower after those scenes?"

Quinn smiled and shook her head. They were oblivious. They could have had so much fun on set together if they had been able to see sooner what was happening with them. "I'm sure that cold showers is the only thing that got me through."

"Well… I won't say that it was the only thing that got me through." Rachel admitted as she absentmindedly ran her nails across her stomach. She waited to see if Quinn would respond, and smiled to herself when her girlfriend failed to reply. She decided to go easy on Quinn tonight, even if she could already feel the wetness seeping into her silky underwear. Thoughts of those scenes, and the real life ones that eventually followed, filled her head and she couldn't stop herself from imagining what would happen once she was finally home. Rachel shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. Changing the subject would help.

"Where are you?" Rachel asked as she listened to Quinn move around.

"Uh… I'm in the loft?"

"Why are you in the loft?" Rachel asked, chuckling at the shy response.

"I can't sleep in our bed without you."

"You've slept in a bed by yourself most of your life."

"Don't tease me." Quinn snapped. "I don't _like_ that I can't sleep without you. But it's the truth."

"A truth I find very endearing and sweet."

"Right. Just don't tell anyone or I'll have to cut you off."

"From all the massive amounts of sex we've been having?" Quinn felt her heart begin to speed up and her core clench. It had been far too long since they'd enjoyed that little endeavor. Quinn swallowed roughly as she tried to think of a response. Rachel tried, but her brain was stuck in the gear of perpetual arousal. "Or from the multiple times I've had to take care of myself in your absence?"

Quinn groaned and flopped back into her reading nook. She loved when Rachel's voice dropped an octave or two when she was turned on. It did… things… to her. Very nice, very wet, things. "Rae, you're going to be the death of me."

"Oh, love, haven't we had this conversation multiple times? S'il vous plaît, laissez-moi être la cause de votre petite mort, mon amour." Rachel's skin broke out into goosebumps as she raked her nails up and down her side, not even realizing what she was doing until a shudder ran through her body. "I've missed being the death of you."

Quinn licked her lips at the breathy reply. "Rachel? What are you doing?"

Rachel bit her lip as her fingers brushed against her sensitive hip. "Laying here, talking to you."

"Mmmhmm, and what else are you doing?"

Rachel smiled to herself, "But whatever do you mean?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and snuggled further into her massive pile of pillows and blankets, wishing that Rachel was right next to her. Thinking about their scenes and hearing Rachel's breathy sighs in her ears was turning her on more than she ever thought it would. Even so, those breathy sighs gave proof to the fact that Rachel wasn't as innocent as she was pretending to be. "Rae, where are your hands?"

"One is holding the phone."

"And the other?"

"Is in a perfectly respectful location." Rachel bit back a gasp as her fingers continued to dance over one of her more erogenous zones.

Quinn heard none the less, and couldn't help but imagining her lover pleasing herself while they spoke. She could practically feel Rachel's need in the few words they had spoken. It wasn't that she was against masturbation. It was just that she felt… dirty… while doing it. Yet, the thought of Rachel touching herself sent her into a tailspin. Her nipples instantly grew rock hard. Her stomach was doing somersaults. And every drip of fluid had moved south.

"And where is this respectful location?" Quinn practically whispered.

"My hip."

"Rachel, I've teased you enough by playing with your hips that I know, more than anyone, just what that 'respectful location' does to you."

"Mmmhmm." Rachel practically moaned as she moved her hand up and cupped her breast, her fingertips instantly finding her nipple. "That's what I'm thinking about."

"You usually wait." Quinn knew what Rachel did practically any time she was alone after she got off the phone with her. More than once she'd received pictures, nothing overly graphic, but enough to make it clear what her love had just done. Sometimes it was a post-coital smile. Other times, Rachel would go as far as sending her a picture of her licking off her fingers. Some would deem them lewd, but Quinn secretly loved all of them.

"I didn't mean to start." Rachel gasped as she tugged at her erect nipple, rolling it between her fingers. Rachel released her hold and slid her hand lower, forcing herself to calm down, though her body was screaming for release. She took a few deep breaths.. "I'll wait."

Quinn took a deep breath. She knew how turned on her love must be, and just the thought of Rachel touching herself made Quinn shiver in anticipation. She knew what she wanted, but wasn't sure she was brave enough to ask, especially after all the times she'd told her lover no. Quinn bit her lip and stared up at the bright ceiling. "Don't."

Rachel dropped the phone in surprise, thankful that it only landed on the bed. Her heart beat madly in her ears as she sat up and grabbed the phone. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me. Don't wait. Let me listen."

Rachel's center throbbed at the thought of what she was about to do. She was sure that Quinn wouldn't join her, but just knowing that Quinn would be listening turned her on beyond believe.

"I… I need to get comfortable. Can you give me a minute?"

Quinn agreed as she lazily began to draw abstract designs across her stomach. She tossed around the idea of joining her love, if only to release a bit of the tension that was building in her stomach. She'd only tried to touch herself a handful of times, and rarely had ever been able to bring herself to completion.

"Can you hear me?" Rachel asked, breathlessly, as she interrupted Quinn's thoughts.

"Perfectly."

"I moved to the Bluetooth."

"Wanted both hands?"

"I want you."

"So take me." Quinn said back, without even giving it a second thought.

Rachel closed her eyes at the delicious images that flashed through her mind before her eyes sprang open, realizing what Quinn was telling her. "Are you…. You want me to?"

Quinn shifted nervously. She hadn't meant for the words to leave her mouth, and now that they had, she wasn't sure she wanted to take them back. "You know I've never… over the phone… I don't do these type of things."

"I know. And I would never ask you to, I hope you know that. Even now, if you just… if you just want to listen. I mean as much as I would love to hear you, you don't have to."

Rachel was giving her an out. She knew the woman wouldn't hold it against her, even if she decided listening was too much. But the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to.

"I love you for that. But I _want_ to." Quinn hesitated before she admitted,  
I just might need you to talk me through it."

Rachel practically groaned at the thought. She could easily picture Quinn with one hand between her legs, the other on her breast as she brought herself to orgasm while imagining Rachel's own fingers on her, in her. "Of-of course."

Quinn felt her stomach clinch at the almost moaned reply. She had never been this worked up without someone being present. No, there was once. The first time she ever did something like this, touching herself, way back when she was first discovering her sexuality. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to thank or punch her ex, but now wasn't the time for such thoughts. Right now, she had an amazingly hot woman who wanted nothing more than to think of her as she came. And that alone was a pretty damn good feeling. Knowing it was a woman she was in love with, who desperately loved her back, made more than just her sex clinch in excitement. Quinn felt warmth flood her chest and spread across her body.

"Rae?"

"Yes?"

"Touch me."

Rachel moaned out loud and nodded, not even caring that Quinn couldn't see her. "Of course, love. Feel my hands sliding up your shirt, moving it slowly up." Rachel closed her eyes as she imagined Quinn's well defined abs. Even after having a child, they were still delectable. She could practically feel her mouth water with the need to run her tongue over every inch of them. Her own hands resumed their idle patterns across her stomach, over her hip, and up and down her sides, before repeating.

Quinn shuddered at how sensitive her skin was, every small touch, every minute brush of her fingertips against soft skin made her shiver with anticipation. She closed her eyes and listened to Rachel describe what she was doing to her, following Rachel's commands as she moved her hands under her shirt, cupping her breast, imagining it was Rachel's fingers caressing her breast, Rachel's tongue flicking her hard nipples, Rachel's teeth raking across them. Quinn's hips jerked up as she twisted and pulled gently at her nipple. Her skin was on fire and she was sure she had completely ruined her panties.

"Do you have any idea what listening to your little pants does to me, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she slowly slid her hand down her stomach, sliding against her bare outer lips. Rachel gasped at the wetness that met her fingertips before she had even reached her goal. "Quinn, Quinn, I am so wet for you, love."

"Ar-are you…" Quinn bit her lip as she heard her lover moan softly. "Are you touching?"

"Mmm, no, no you are, Quinn. God, you feel so good."

"Tell me, Rae."

"Feel my hand sliding down your stomach, sliding beneath your shorts, I play with the edge of your panties before moving down to–" Rachel gasped as her own fingers slid across her clit, "feel me cupping you. I can tell how wet you are. How much this turns you on. Your panties are soaked."

Quinn bit her lip as she did as Rachel said, wanting desperately to touch her star, her love, her best friend. "Rae? I want to touch you."

"Oh, you are." Rachel gasped as her fingers picked up speed.

"No, I… Feel me slide inside you, Rae." Quinn was rewarded with a long, hot, moan. Quinn slid her panties to the side and slowly moved her fingers through the abundant amount of wetness that had gathered between her legs. "I love the way your silkiness coats my fingers, your so tight around them. I move my thumb to your clit, circling around."

"Quinn, I'm so turned on. I don't think I'll last."

Quinn bit her lip at the admission, feeling wetness flood her hand. "Feel my fingers moving faster –oh god," Quinn moaned as her fingers hit a certain spot deep inside her..

"Oh fuck, are you? Fuck."

The sound of the vulgar words caressed by Rachel's lips sent Quinn into overdrive. Moving hard and fast, Quinn urged her fingers deep inside, only to pull back out to the tips. "Rae? Oh Rae, I need…"

"Keep going love. You're going to make me cum. Please, don't stop. Just feel my fingers in you, my palm brushing against your clit. Taking you as, uh, you take me."

Quinn closed her eyes and could almost imagine her lover next to her, their legs intertwined as they brought each other to completion. In her mind, she was moving her fingers into Rachel's wet heat, feeling her muscles begin to spasm around her fingers. She could hear Rachel's small gasp and sighs as she grew closer to her peak. Quinn groaned and lifted her hips to meet her thrust as she felt Rachel's fingers bury themselves inside of her, curling to hit the perfect spot that Rachel knew made her come undone every time.

"Please, please, please." Quinn panted, not even sure any more what she was asking for.

Luckily, Rachel knew exactly, and the thought alone almost sent her over the edge. "Cum for my, my love." Quinn's raspy voice cried out Rachel's name as she tumbled over the edge, her fingers buried inside her as her body froze for a moment, before she cried out again, answering Rachel's call. Rachel's moans soon blended with Quinn's as she saw stars behind her eyes. White, hot lava surged through her body, blinding her to the world beyond the pleasure that rampaged through her veins.

"I love you. God, I miss you so bad." Rachel sighed into the phone as her as soon as she could breath.

"Me too, Rae. Me too." Quinn listened to Rachel's breathing slow to a steady, even pace. "Sleep my love. I'll talk to you soon." Rachel smiled and drifted off with thoughts of strong arms and sun kissed skin wrapped around her.

* * *

Rachel sighed as she recalled their night of passion via their phones. She had been so stunned that her lover had taken that step with her. Rachel wasn't surprised that the next morning as she spoke to Quinn the woman had been rather embarrassed by her actions. That had lasted for all of two minutes… or however long it had taken her to convince her lover just how incredibly sexy it was to hear her cum like that. Right now though, she would settle for just a "hello" or an "I love you". Anything. As long as it was Quinn saying it. Nine days was far too long. It had been another nine days since that morning. And there were another nine days until she could finally return home. Rachel looked down at her phone and sighed as her call went straight to voicemail for the fourth time. She knew that it was still very, very early in California but she had hoped that she might get lucky and finally be able to reach her girlfriend. Rachel growled and tossed her phone into her bag.

"Whoa there, little diva, what seems to be the issue?" Camie asked as she handed the actress her drink.

"I still can't get a hold of Quinn."

"Isn't it rather early? I know when I've traveled with the production team that my days and nights are confused for weeks."

Rachel knew she was right. It couldn't be later than four a.m. on the west coast, but that didn't make her feel any better. She hadn't talked to Quinn in far too long and she couldn't shake the feeling of melancholy that had settled on her shoulders.

"Enough of this, my friend. What you need is a break. You should join us tonight, I think. My roommate and I are having a few guest over for dinner and then small fiesta."

"I don't know," Rachel hesitated, "I'm not sure how I feel about hanging out with a roomful of strangers."

"Well, we still have a few hours of shooting left, so you take your time and think about it. If you decide you'd like to come, you can let me know."

Rachel wasn't sure about hanging out with a bunch of friends, much less friends of friends that she didn't know. Yet, by the time the day was over she felt like a few mindless hours in the company of strangers would be a welcome relief. She had gotten a message from Quinn apologizing for missing her call, promising to try to catch her later in the afternoon, but that call never came. Tired and frustrated, she decided to catch a ride to the PA's apartment. It was a cozy place, with bright white walls, bare aside from a few pictures here and there. The place still smelled of new carpet and fresh paint. She allowed Camie to introduce her to her roommate, a bright, happy Spanish girl with a very heavy accent, who instantly warmed to Rachel. The two spent the better part of evening debating the virtues of various musicals. It was the most relaxed Rachel had felt in days and when she was finally able to track Camie down on the small balcony that adorned the tiny apartment, she told her as much.

Camie waved off the gesture of gratitude and tossed away her cigarette, more than aware of her friend's dislike of her vice. "I am just glad to see you smiling. It has been far too long since that feature has graced your face away from the glaring lights and cameras."

Rachel gave the woman a small smile at the truth of her statement as she settled onto one of the two wrought iron chairs that filled most of the balcony. "I guess I didn't realize just how taxing a shoot like this could be."

"Well, as you Americans say, buck up. In no time at all, you will be far from the dusty streets of Spain, lounging on the wonderful deck you've mentioned countless times, in the arms of your lover."

Rachel blushed at the label, even if it were true. She still was unaccustomed to the European's embrace of things most Americans would consider more taboo –including their love of love. "I can't wait."

Camie turned her head as someone called her from inside, the sliding door open to allow the breeze to cool the apartment. "Ah, my adoring public calls again." Camie teased. "I will leave you to the fresh air. If you'd like I can send Alejandra out with a drink for you, no?"

"That would be lovely. Thank you, Camila."

"That is Camie to you, Ms. Berry."

"Fair enough. Thank you, Camie."

Rachel looked up at the stars and let her mind wander aimlessly. And even though she still missed home, and missed Quinn, she felt more relaxed than she had in a while. It had been a pleasant evening and she was glad that she had accepted Camila's offer to join her and her roommate and their friends. Even though they all knew she was a celebrity, they were very down to earth, and treated her as if they would treat anyone else. Rachel had gotten in a long debate with one of Camie's roommate Alejandra's friends over certain pieces of literature, before she had been physically dragged away by the vivacious Spaniard. Alejandra's wit and easy-going personality had kept her laughing for the remainder of the evening and when she checked the time on her phone, she realized that it had grown much later than she had realized.

"Ah, mi mono, there you are! I was wondering where your beautiful face disappeared to!" Alejandra chided as she sat, placing Rachel's drink beside her with a flourish. "Courtesy of our hostess. She thought that you may be thirsty."

"That was very kind of her." Rachel smiled as she lifted her glass to her lips and sipped the sweet liquid that masked the flavor of the alcohol she knew it held.

"So, my dear, why do you hide yourself away, when there is such festivities to be had inside? Why do you deprive us all of your wonderful company?"

Rachel shook her head and bit back a smile, unable to figure out if the woman was being sincere or if she was being flirted with. She hoped for the former but she was beginning to wonder if the beautiful Alejandra hadn't gotten the memo that she was off the market. For good if she had anything to say about it.

"I needed some fresh air."

Alejandra rose with an exasperated, and overly dramatic, huff, as she pulled a case out of cigarettes. "Are you saying that we Spaniards are too stuffy for your American ways?" She asked as she turned and leaned against the railing.

Rachel shook her head and laughed. "No, I think stuffy is never a word I would associate with you, Alejandra."

"Mmm, well," Alejandra paused to light her smoke, "I could– " Rachel stood abruptly and stepped towards the opposite edge of the balcony, trying to avoid the lingering cloud of smoke. "I'm sorry mi mono, does the smoke bother you?"

"I try to avoid any toxins entering my body whenever possible. Singers should take care of their vocal health and avoid anything that puts strain on their vocal cords or lungs. Smoking dries out the vocal cord, often causing irritation and swelling to occur. As a result, the body produces mucus. A person may often have to clear his throat to remove this mucus build-up. During performance, clearing your throat frequently is not practical and is often not possible so the quality of your voice may be impeded through the mucus. Good lung function, which is vital for projecting the voice or controlling the loudness of it, is damaged by smoking. Controlling your breathing is also important for singers and any damage to the lungs can weaken your control. Singers are routinely required to hold long notes without taking a breath or to use their diaphragm to add power to a note. Putting strain on the lungs can decrease the ability to do either."

Alejandra laughed as she stubbed out her smoke. "I don't think you have to worry about lung function. I believe that you delivered that well researched explanation all in one breath."

"I apologize. I tend to be quite verbose. I know that some people find it to be a little off putting."

"Quite contrary, my friend. I find it adorable." Rachel shivered at the way Alejandra practically purred out her words and looked towards the door leading back to the small apartment. It would be her luck that there was no one in the immediate area to save her from what she was sure was going to be an embarrassing scene. While she could admit that Alejandra was stunningly beautiful, and attractive on more than one level, the thought of anyone other than her Quinn saying things to her like that made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. All she wanted right now was to talk to her girlfriend. Or better yet, climb on a plane and fly home.

"Yes, well…." Rachel's voice trailed off. She wasn't even sure how to respond to Alejandra's admission.

The woman across from her chuckled and stepped closer. "And now I have caused you to go mute. I know I have beauty, but don't tell me it has rendered you speechless. Surely, you have seen the way I have looked at you all night. Tell me the feeling is not mutual." Rachel froze as she watched the Spanish woman lean closer, unable to breath, much less move away.

Rachel's eyes slid shut as warm fingers trailed her cheek. She could feel the heat radiating off the woman in front of her. She could taste the alcohol on the breath the brushed her lips. The combined feelings broke her trance "Please, don't."

Rachel felt Alejandra freeze and dared to open her eyes, watching confusion flicker though the dark eyes that were inches away. "Have I read the situation wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Alejandra, but I'm in a relationship."

"Hmmm," the woman dropped her hand, but didn't distance herself, "this does not mean we cannot have some fun?"

Rachel put her hands up and pressed gently against the woman's chest until she took a step backward. "It does. I'm fully committed and do not agree to cheating."

"And where is this mystery lover of yours."

Rachel stepped to the side, "She's working in the States." She could feel the woman's eyes following her jilted moves as Rachel grabbed her phone. She shouldn't have let things get to this point. She should have realized long before Alejandra made her way onto the tiny balcony with her that the woman was flirting with her, and had been all night. "I should go. I need to go."

Her brain was an alcohol induced fog of panic and worry and the need to escape. She nearly tripped over her own feet, ready to make a hasty exit, while trying to remember where her bag was, when two strong hands gripped her shoulder, keeping her from falling.

"Whoa, slow down. I am not going to bite. Nor am I going to think any less of you for wanting to be faithful to the lucky woman who has won your heart. Please, stay."

Rachel took a shuttered breath and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't." Rachel urged her body to regain control of itself. Her head spun and she began to realize she may have drank a little more than she thought.

"Please, mi mono, I don't want to see you hurt. Please, sit, if only for a moment. I promise I will keep my distance."

Rachel looked over at the woman, wearily, and saw only truth in her eyes and nodded, shakily finding her way back to her seat. "This is why I don't drink often."

"Because it makes beautiful women hit on you? You would think that would be cause to drink on a daily basis." Alejandra laughed as she stepped back to lean against the railing, keeping her word to remain at a distance.

"As flattering as that is, no, I avoid alcohol on a regular basis because it gets me into situations that I should never be in."

"Ahh, my sweet woman, completely sober, or falling over pissed, I would have hit on you. You are stunningly beautiful. You are kind and funny. And from the way our Camie raves about you on an almost daily basis, I am to fully believe that you are amazingly talented. I would be a fool to pass up such a woman."

Rachel rolled her eyes, knowing that the woman across from her was completely serious. "I should go."

"No, please, please stay. Forgive me if I ruined everything by making my advances. I have not enjoyed myself this much in a long time."

"I really think I should be going." Rachel said as she tried to stand again, happy to find her legs a little steadier.

"Chica mía," Alejandra called out as she stepped around Rachel, "Camie, please help me try to convince our estrella joven to stay a bit longer. I am curious to hear about her American sweetheart and yet she insist on running away."

Camie joined her roommate in the doorway and looked from one woman to another. "I'll talk to her." Camie nodded. "Why don't you go start us some coffee?"

"Coffee? It is almost one in the morning." Alejandra threw her hands up and marched passed her friend.

"You're the one who wanted to stay up to talk." Camie yelled after the woman, before turning to her new friend. "I'm sorry."

Rachel looked down at her hands and the dark phone that sat between them. "What are you apologizing for?"

Rachel looked up as the PA sat next to her. "For whatever my roommate did that terrorized you enough for you to want to run away in the dead of night."

Rachel shook her head. "It was a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding?" Camie raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Right. Well, if your misunderstanding was indeed just that, then you won't mind staying and telling us more about your mysterious Quinn, no?"

"I don't know, it's getting late."

"It is passed being late, my friend. Most everyone else has already left and the few stragglers we can kick out for the night. Please, stay. We have an extra bedroom that you could call yours for the night." Rachel hesitated. She really wasn't looking forward to trying to get a cab this late, but she was weary. "Please stay, Rachel. I promise you that Allie will be on her best behavior for the remainder of our time together. I will sit next to you the entire time, if you wish, so that way there is no more… _misunderstandings_."

Rachel chuckled at the way the woman said the word, knowing that she had probably had a pretty good idea of what had happened between her two friends. "Fine, you have convinced me."

"Perfect! I will go move these scaliwags along and you join us when you are ready." Camie said, bouncing from her seat.

"Cam?" Rachel called out to her as the other woman made her way inside. "The guest room door? Does it lock?"

"You have my word that the boogie man will not be able to get you tonight." Camie's laughter followed her inside.

* * *

"Were your ears ringing?" Rachel asked as soon as the phone was to her ear.

"You were talking about me? At 2:30 in the morning?"

"Long story, can you hold on for just a minute?" Quinn listened to the muffled conversation, unable to make out anything that was being said. She was exhausted, having been on set since a little after four, Quinn had already put in six hours, and she was ready for a nap. Still, she had missed Rachel more than she missed sleep.

"I miss you." Rachel admitted as soon as the door to the guest room was shut and locked behind her.

"You must be reading my mind. Where are you?"

"Do you remember me mentioning a PA named Camila?"

Quinn adjusted her body in her reading nook. She rarely slept in their bed anymore. It felt too empty without her diva's small frame filling the space next to her. She tried to recall if she remembered the name, but nothing really came to mind. Though her mind felt like it had turned to mush. "Vaguely." She admitted.

"She is the sweet Spanish PA with the big smile. Anyway, it doesn't matter. She invited me over to her and her roommate's home for a few refreshments and a few drinks along with some of their other friends. I guess a few of us ended up talking longer than I first thought and if I am to be honest, which you know I strive to be, I also ended up having more drinks than I first thought, so they were gracious enough to lend me their guestroom for the evening."

"It's nearly morning."

"Semantics. Plus, I am not due to set until late evening, so I will still be able to get a few hours of rest before I have to show up."

"So you talking me?" Knowing her girlfriend was talking about her took a large bite out of the jealousy that flared in her. Still, she couldn't help but be curious.

"Well, one of girls asked about you and I and after she..." Rachel hesitated only a second. It wasn't like she was ever going to hide what had happened, that thought hadn't even crossed her mind, she was just trying to figure out how angry her lover was going to be, regardless that absolutely nothing had really happened. "Please don't be angry, but one of the women here tried to hit on me. I shut her down, of course, and decided to leave…"

Quinn sat up, quickly at the admission. "Why didn't you?" She growled.

"Quinn, please, please don't get mad." Rachel begged, quietly. "I don't know if I did, but if I did. I promse you I didn't mean to send her any signals. I didn't even realize she was flirting with me until she almost kissed me…"

"What the actual fuck, Rachel!" Quinn jumped up and began to pace, her anger getting the best of her. She wanted to throw her phone. She wanted to hit something. She wanted to tell Rachel to go have her fun and forget that she existed, since that is what she seemed to want to do anyway. She knew, she KNEW that this would happen. No one ever really loved her. Love was a fantasy.

Quinn stopped in her tracks as she heard a soft sniffle come across the line. She listened to the woman take a shaky breath before Rachel began talking, so softly she had to strain to hear each word. "I –I'm so sor-sorry. I didn't. I didn't do anything. I stopped her before sh-she c-could. And when she realized... when she realized her mistake she asked about you. And Camie ca-came out and heard her ask and begged me to stay and tell them about you. An-and Quinn, it was late." She stuttered over her tears. "And I knew it hard to -to get a cab, it would be dangerous to try to get back to the co-condo. I'll leave. Right now, just please, please don't hate me. Don't leave me."

"Fuck." Quinn ran her hand through her hair, grabbing the back of her neck roughly and sighed. "I'm not leaving you, Rae. And I don't want you to put yourself in harms way. I'm just… not very happy right now. Think how I feel?" Quinn took a breath as she felt her anger flicker to life and decided to pace instead of yell. She kept her voice even as she began again, "I haven't talked to you in a week and a half. I've barely gotten a handful of messages from you, and I get that you're busy, but the first time I actually have more than five minutes to talk to you, you tell me that someone, some woman, tried to kiss you? I'm halfway around the world right now. How am I supposed to know that you didn't let her? How do I know that you didn't kiss her back? Or that you pulled the phone away to tell her you had to get rid of your American girlfriend before you can crawl into–"

"How dare you!"

"Once a cheater, always a cheater." Quinn winced even as the words left her mouth.

"No!" Rachel barked into the phone. "You don't… you don't… I would NEVER do that to you! I just spent the last hour and a half telling anyone who would listen how amazing you are. How much I love you! And you think… you would even dare to say that I… I can't…" Rachel fumed. She wanted nothing more than to hang up the phone and walk away. Not forever. She was in too deep for that. But she was angry enough to need time.

"I can't, Quinn." Rachel shook her head as her chest burned with rage. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm sorry, Rae. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry. I don't believe you would…"

"Apparently, you do," Rachel said calmly. "I'll be home in nine days. Maybe then we can work this out. If you want to work this out."

"Rachel! Please, I'm sorry. I'm tired and frustrated. I shouldn't have said…"

"No, you shouldn't have." Rachel felt the defeat that painted her voice deep inside her because it felt like it had coated her soul as well. "You should have trusted me."

Before Quinn could respond, the call had been disconnected. Quinn stared at the phone in disbelief. She couldn't understand what had just happened. Quinn threw her phone at the wall, watching it fall to the floor. Quinn grabbed her head. "FUCK!"

* * *

*cariño –a term of fondness or affection similar to my dear or my friend

*S'il vous plaît, laissez-moi être la cause de votre petite mort, mon amour. –Please, let me be the cause of your little death, my love.

*mi mono –a colloquial term that roughly translates to my monkey. It's like calling someone kitten.

estrella joven –starlet

**I apologize for taking so long on this one, I have honestly been working on this chapter off and on for most of the summer, and had this chapter in my head for much longer than that, but just couldn't seem to get it to come together until a few days ago. Thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited, and commented over the summer. You guys are amazing. A huge thank you to two of my amazing friends who played guinea pigs and gave me feedback on this chapter. And to my Ethel who kept bugging Lucy to get this chapter done! **


	29. Yearning and Criticism

**No excuses for how late this is. For some reason, I really struggled with this chapter. I know what I wanted to happen, and it's all sitting in my head, but everything I write sounds like rubbish to me right now. I seriously thought about completely starting this chapter over, but one of my besties talked me out of it. So… I know I said I wouldn't ask for reviews -but I'm sorta breaking my promise. If y'all can let me know what's working or isn't I'd greatly appreciate it. Was anyone way OOC? Did the writing seem too forced? To predictable? Loved it? Hated it? Any feedback would help! **

**Speaking of feedback! To the few reviewers who struggled with my grammar, spelling, and sentence structure as of late -I tried to warn y'all! I even put a note in the first few chapters! I'll be the first to admit that as an artist, I couldn't tell you the first thing about spelling, grammar, or the rules of writing. Guess it's a good thing I'm not getting paid to do this! I write because I enjoy it, and I guess enough of you are enjoying my writing enough that you all have been willing to ignore my spelling and grammatical errors to get this far into the story. So thank you for that! That being said… if anyone would want to volunteer to beta for me I wouldn't say no! **

**As always, thank you for all the constructive criticism and to everyone who has taken the time to follow, favorite, and review. The reviews and PMs I get really do give me the motivation to keep writing. Long A/N aside, I will say we're working through the last of the angst, and answering some lingering questions in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy! **

* * *

***any text in bold after the author's note indicates a text message.**

* * *

Rachel wandered around the dusty set and sighed. There was another hour left until she was needed to shoot some of her final scenes but she was already in costume and didn't want to walk back to her trailer. She was sure that some of her cast mates would willingly keep her entertained, but right now she needed something more familiar. Rachel closed her eyes and imagined standing center stage in an empty auditorium. It had been far too long since she'd stood on a stage, or in a choir room, or walked through the streets of New York singing just to sing, not worrying about what anyone thought about her doing so. For so long she had taken for granted the ability to find a dark room or an empty street where she could sing away her problems. When she sang, she felt free. Rachel sighed as she slowly opened her eyes and looked around the bustling set, everyone off in the distance doing this important thing or that. It was apparent that times changed. While she had done it a few times while filming on _STEEL _it was different here. There she had Quinn and the reminder of old times, and April teasing her and goading her into singing. That just wasn't who she was anymore. Rachel lamented the fact that she rarely ever felt comfortable just breaking into song anymore, too worried about what someone might think or say, or worse, how it would affect her career. Rachel internally rolled her eyes at herself. She'd never cared about those things back in high school or even when she had first moved to New York with plans to conquer the world. And now that she had taken it by storm, she wondered when her priorities had shifted, when others perceptions of her were all she thought of.

Still, worrying about what others thought, she silently admitted was still better than all the other worries that had filled her head the last few days though.

Rachel needed to talk to someone. Anyone. She again thought about finding a cast member to pass the time with between scenes, but it just wasn't the same. She didn't have the same level of comfort and familiarity with them that she did with some of her other friends. She needed to talk to someone who knew her, the real her. Not her New York and Hollywood persona, but the real her. And the one person who knew that part of Rachel better than anyone wasn't someone she could talk to about what was going on, as most of it resolved around the woman herself. Rachel spun her phone in her hand and debated waking Kurt up to talk. Or she could call her daddies. But it was four in the morning in New York and in Ohio, and none of the men in her life were early risers.

Rachel bit her lip and wondering again if she'd been too hasty in her decision to not talk to Quinn. She had yet to take a call from her and had all but ignored every message Quinn had sent her. She hadn't told Camie and Alejandra what had happened when she had left their home the next day; she had thanked them for their hospitality over breakfast and had made some excuse or another in the following few days not to join them for lunch or supper the few times they had offered since. She just couldn't face Alejandra even if she had resolved the misunderstanding with the woman before Quinn had even called. She didn't blame the Spaniard for what had happened, she was just being who she was –a fun loving Spanish woman who loves and appreciates women in all forms. Still, Rachel couldn't shake this irrational sense of guilt every time she thought about that night. She was beating herself up over allowing herself to even be in the position where she had to deny Alejandra's advances to begin with. If she hadn't gone over to Camie's that night, there would have been nothing to fight over and they would still be fine.

But this was their life. They would constantly be invited to parties and events that they would be expected to attend and it was unrealistic to think that they would always be able to go together. Would Quinn play the jealous role every time she went out? They had to kiss random people as part of their roles –how would Quinn react to that? She thought that she understood, she thought that thing between them would be okay, because for a change, she was dating someone in the same profession as her. And Quinn's over-the-top reaction just wouldn't do. The more Rachel thought about it over the last week, the more hurt and angry she became. Really, Rachel thought, who was Quinn to say anything? Yes, she could admit that her own slate wasn't completely clean, but neither was Quinn's. She had cheated just as much, if not more, than Rachel. And yet, Rachel had never held Quinn's past over her. She never thought Quinn would either. They'd both been young and stupid and done many things that she _knew _that would never do now. Even so, she knew Quinn and the woman had always had problems with impulse control. She knew that when Quinn was hurt she would lash out. Rachel couldn't let that justify what Quinn had said though. Even if it was said in the heat of the moment, it didn't lessen the damage it had done.

Rachel started as she felt her phone buzz in her hand, but smiled the name on her screen. Rachel quickly opened the message, chuckling a little at the words that filled her with a sense of peace and ease that she had been missing the last few days. They were so simple, yet just what Rachel needed.

**Brittany: I miss dancing while u n San would sing :( u kneed to come home**

Rachel's smile grew, wondering if it was Brittany's amazing sixth sense that allowed her to know that those few words were just what Rachel needed. Brittany had always seemed to possess an uncanny ability to call or show up whenever Rachel needed her to. She also had possessed the unique ability to drag both her and Santana out of bed at ungodly hours to sing for her as she danced. She claimed she always choreographed better to live music. As much as Rachel had grumbled about it every single time it happened, she used to love to be able to watch Brittany in her element. Her second favorite blonde may not have been book smart in the normal, traditional ways –her spelling was atrocious, and her need to write in text speak drove Rachel up the wall, but that didn't mean that she wasn't one of the most brilliant people that Rachel had ever had the opportunity to work with.

Rachel sighed as she read over the short message again, wondering when she'd have a chance to do something like that again. Rachel took a breath and tried to sort through her feelings. In an abstract way, she missed New York, but she didn't long to go back. There was no feeling of homesickness that she thought she would expect when she left. Home was no longer the stench of exhaust and the inescapable smell of urine and wet garbage. It was the smell of salt water and the feel of sand between her toes. Granted, she could always visit the beaches in New York, but it was just…. different. The air didn't smell the same. The water was perpetually cold. Even the waves were different. And she wouldn't be able to look over her shoulder and find green eyes twinkling at her as she let warm sea water rush around her feet. When she thought of home, she thought of fires on the beach, the sound of sea gulls crying overhead. She thought of cuddles on the couch with Quinn while watching a movie. Or laying in the reading corner in their little lighthouse-esque loft with a book while Quinn wrote or develop film. As much as she missed her friends, she wouldn't give up what she had now for anything. Everything that she had once loved about the city, -the trains and the people and the traffic and the speed –she realized, she was happy to leave behind. So much had changed for her over the last year and she just couldn't see herself in New York anymore.

And part of her heart broke at that thought.

New York was where she had longed to be for most of her young life. It was her she had reached some of her highest heights and lowest lows. It was the first place outside of her daddies' house that she had called home. It was where she thought she would stay forever. It was her dream. And now she realized her dreams had changed. Yet, the person that had helped change them was just another person on the long list of people who had hurt her. Rachel shook her head, not wanting to think about Quinn or their fight, or what would happen when she finally returned home. She read Brittany's message once more before composing her own response.

**Rachel: I miss you too. You caught me in a melancholy moment. I was just thinking about our time in Glee. Things were much simpler when we could just sing away our problems. **

Only a minute had passed before she received her reply.

**Brittany: Singing always mad e me feel happy. But not as happy as dancing.**

Rachel:

I used to love to sing and watch you dance. I miss joining you at the studio before the city would truly wake up. Life is harder now.**  
**

**Brittany: Wht do u wanna 2 sing away? U can come sing ur problems 2 me.****  
**

Rachel swallowed back her tears at the thought. Brittany had always made her feel welcomed, even when she was insulting her in high school, she did so with an apology. They weren't as close as Santana and her had become, nor was had she ever been on the same level as Quinn even before their relationship progressed, but she was still special to Rachel and never failed to make her smile. She had always envied the blonde's clear cut view of the world. Rachel wondered how they worked in the same industry, often times in the same theater, yet Brittany still managed to hang on to her beautiful innocence. She was too young to feel as jaded and cynical as she did, but she had learned a lot of hard lessons over the years. Unlike Rachel, Brittany never became jaded by it all. Rachel sighed and shook her head.

**Rachel: I wish I could.**

Rachel wasn't completely surprised when her phone began to ring though she hadn't anticipated it being her Facetime app open with a picture of Brittany smiling happily.

"I can't text and dance," Brittany explained before Rachel had even had a chance to say hello.

"But you can dance and Facetime?" Rachel couldn't hold back a small laugh as Brittany did a spin, watching the background blur around her.

"Okay, point taken, but would you mind remaining semi-stationary for the remainder of this conversation. Your spinning is making me dizzy."

She watched Brittany shrug. "I used to spin in circles for hours and hours as a kid. Sometimes I would fall over and a few times the swirls were mean and made me sick. But after a while, it didn't happen anymore, so I would just spin and watch the world go away."

"That's how singing used to be for me."

Brittany frowned. She didn't like that Rachel said that like she no longer sang. Rachel was meant to sing. "It's not anymore?"

Rachel thought about it. In certain times, certain places, it could, but it wasn't the same. She wasn't in high school singing for fun. She sang for a living. It was… different. She sighed as she shook her head, "Not really."

"That makes me sad." Rachel nodded in agreement. "You should do something that makes you happy."

"What I'm doing now makes me happy."

"Then why do you look so sad?"

Rachel wanted to deny it, she wanted to plaster on a stage smile and pretend like nothing hurt. Just like she had in high school. Just like she had the morning of her sixteenth birthday as she sat looking out over Lima. She couldn't do that. Not anymore. Not that she thought Brittany would buy it anyway. Sometimes she was too insightful for her own good. Rachel finally shrugged, "Quinn and I got into a fight."

She tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but Brittany knew better. She could see the dark cloud hanging over her second-favorite diva. "Did she hurt you? Because if she hurt you, that's not okay. They have phone numbers and stuff you can call to report it. Or I could tell San and she would go take care of it for you. Q and San have been besties since high school, but she'd totally kick Quinn's ass for hurting you."

Rachel chuckled a bit at the thought. She had no doubt the fiery, Latina would do just that if she ever found out there was a physical altercation between herself and Quinn. Actually, Rachel was a little scared that if Santana found out her near indiscretion was what caused the fight to begin with, the woman would take a flight out just to take her head off. She shivered at the thought. "That won't be necessary. She didn't physically hurt me."

"What did she say that hurt you so bad? You know that she tends to lash out when she's hurt, or sad, or confused. Well… she lashes out a lot."

"How do you know that she said anything?" Rachel asked as she looked off in the distance, not even able to stare at her friend over the phone while she avoided the truth of what had happened.

"Because she's Quinn and that's what she does?"

Rachel sighed and sat down on the steps of some "ancient" ruins. "Being in a relationship with Quinn is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

She watched as Brittany tilted her head to the side. "You thought it would be easy?"

Rachel was reminded that while Brittany was pretty much the same as she was in high school, age had given her unusual wisdom a dose of maturity to back it up. "No. Yes." Rachel laughed to herself, "No, I knew it wouldn't be completely easy, no relationship is. But we started out so…" Rachel paused to think about how to word it. "When I moved out to California, I had no idea that we would end up falling in love. But it was such a gentle transition that happened so smoothly, moving from friendship to a loving relationship –it just was so easy. She let her walls down and let me see so much of herself that I forgot for a while how much she'd been through, how damaged she was."

"She's not a box or a fortress, Rachel. Though she does have a lot of pointy edges."

"I know, she is a minefield of thorns." Rachel joked.

"No, I mean, she has some really pointy edges –like her elbows and knees. Having her fall on you from the top of a cheer pyramid hurts." Rachel shook her head and laughed, feeling for her friend. She'd been on the receiving end of those sharp points as well, but never from such a height. "Just don't be too hard on her, Rachel. This is like her first, real, healthy relationship. Puck doesn't count. He's like baby daddy drama. Don't let her walk all over you, but remember that she had some really bad role models growing up."

"That doesn't excuse what she's done."

Brittany shook her head. "I don't know what she did. And I'm not really asking. I know that Q can be a bitch sometimes and she is sorta like my Santana that they push people away when they get close. They hurt so they hurt others. It's not right, but it's who they are. You just gotta remember who she is and where she's coming from before you decide if it's worth it or not."

Rachel felt her chest ache at the thought of walking away. She couldn't, not that she had ever planned to anyway, but she knew what Brittany was saying. A lot of this stemmed from who Quinn was at a base level and that was something that never really changed. Not that she wanted to change Quinn. Rachel fully believed that you shouldn't want someone to change, or try to change them. She loved who Quinn was, flaws and all. "She's worth it. She'll always be worth it."

Brittany beamed at her. "I knew you'd say that. You two work like me and San do."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course, I am. Mr. Tubbers the Third fully agrees. He's much better behaved than his grandfather was. He is almost two and hasn't joined a gang yet."

"Well," Rachel hesitated but couldn't help smile –some things never changed. "That is good to know."

"You should sing, Rachel. Just to sing. I know if you did, it would make you happy again."

Rachel nodded and gave her friend a halfhearted smile. "I'll try. I should go though, I have to shoot some scenes soon."

"Come home soon, okay? Even if you're just here for a few days. I really do miss you."

"I miss you too. Tell Santana I said hello."

"She'll be mad I called you without her here. I'll just have to make her forget she's mad. You should have Quinn do that for you. Lady-kisses and make-up sex is the best!"

Rachel threw back her head and laughed. "I love you, Brittany!"

"Love you too!"

Rachel shook her head as she disconnected the call, feeling lighter than she had a few minutes before. She was glad that she had been able to talk to her friend. Brittany always had held an insight that most people didn't understand and rarely came close to possessing. She knew what Brittany was saying was right and after the short conversation with her second favorite blonde she understood a little more where Quinn had been coming from that night. The two of them needed to sit down for a serious discussion soon, one that she rather have face-to-face rather than being in completely different parts of the world. And it would make Brittany's suggestion of make-up sex afterward a little bit easier. Rachel smiled to herself at the thought. This could work out. This _would_ work out.

* * *

"What the hell did you _do_?" Quinn rolled her eyes at the loud roar that filled her ear the moment she answered the phone.

"Well, hello to you too, Santana. How are you today?" Quinn growled into the phone. She did not need this. Not now.

"Don't even play coy with me. What happened between you and the midget?"

Quinn glared out the window. Of course, Santana would know something happened. And of course, it would be her fault. Which, okay, maybe that was true, but that didn't mean she was going to stand for Santana's normal abuse. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with her best friend right now. There was a million and one things she still had to do and no time to get it done. Starting with trying to find a way to fix her relationship with Rachel.

"Who said anything happened?"

"¡Qué chingados! Britt talked to Rachel this morning and she came home all upset. She told Britt the two of you were fighting. And I swear to god, Quinn, if you fuck this up…"

"You don't know what you're talking about! For your information, _I_ didn't do anything! _I_ am not the one flirting with other women! _I_ am not the one who almost had another woman's tongue down my throat! So don't call me telling _me_ not to fuck this up."

Santana sighed, "Ay Dios mío. I'm going to kill that little hermit."

Santana's softened tone made Quinn's anger melt away. She laid her hand on her chest where her heart still clenched painfully as she looked out the office window trying to lose herself in the site of the city.

"Nothing happened, not really."

"Okay, holds up. If nothing happened then why is the hobbit all mopey and why are you getting all bent out of shape?"

Quinn laughed humorlessly as she leaned her head against the cool glass. "Would saying I'm an idiot cover it?"

Quinn knew she had messed up and she knew that her best friend would tell her as much once she knew what was going on. She just didn't really want to get into it, not that she would have much of a choice. Santana was like a dog with a bone on the best of days. And know that she knew something was up between her and Rachel, she wasn't just going to let it go without knowing the entire story. Quinn quietly braced herself for Santana to agree while adding her own unique brand of insults to the mix, so she was completely taken aback by what she heard instead.

"Listen, if anyone ask I'll deny it up one side and down the other, but you're one of the smartest people I know. Which makes me hate you. Because you're also gorgeous in that Barbie doll sort of way. And even though I'm puking in my mouth as I say this, you and the midget work. And not in a Finchel kind of way. Like in an OTP, you found the one, kind of way."

Quinn's breath hitched and she cleared her throat to et rid of the lump that suddenly appeared there. Even so, she couldn't hide the tremble in her voice as she asked softly, "Do we though? I thought so and then all this happened."

"Why don't you tell me what happened and we'll go from there. Did Rachel cheat on you?"

"Yes. No." Quinn sighed and flopped down in one of the chairs surrounding the conference table. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Quinn groaned and dropped her head to the table. "We've barely talked since she's been on set and I know, I get that she's been busy with a crazy shooting schedule, but…"

"You've missed her. I gets that. Hell, Britt and I live together and I see her on a daily basis, but when she gets a new show, she gets in a zone and for a month or so we'll be in the same house and I'll still miss her."

"Right. And we're on different continents with a dozen time zones between us, so we've barely gotten to talk. We played phone tag for almost two weeks and when she finally answers, she tells me that she was over at one of the production assistance houses." Quinn sat up and ran her hand through her hair, "Apparently the girl's roommate came on to her and tried to kiss her."

"Ay Dios mío."

"Right. Think how I felt when Rachel told me." Quinn shook her head and stood straighter. "Who knew Rachel Berry would turn me into this jealous, over-the-top, crazy person?"

Quinn rolled her eyes as her best friend howled with laughter. "Are you serious right now? You have _always _been an over-the-top, crazy person," Santana took a breath as her chuckles died away, "It's why we have had a love/hates relationship since I first dominated you in ninth grade."

"Yeah, that didn't happen." Quinn growled as she dropped into a chair.

"Whatev, you have your version of how high school happened, I have mine. Mine just happens to be more factually accurate. Now stop changing the subject!"

"If you'd stop interrupting me I'd finish!" Quinn refrained from rolling her eyes when she heard her best friend huff in annoyance but remained silent. "Where was I?"

"Some chicka was trying to kiss you woman." Santana waited, knowing that there was no way Quinn had just let that slide. She was honestly surprised that Quinn hadn't taken the very next flight out to stake her claim. She knew that when it came to someone Quinn really cared about, the woman tended to be jealous. It was a natural reaction after all the boyfriend stealing, backstabbing, crap they'd all pulled on each other in high school. She bit back her frustration as the other end of the line stayed silent.

"You said tried," Santana promted, her patience running thin.

"Rachel claimed that she rejected her and spent the next two hours talking about her and I…"

"Then what's the problem?" Santana interrupted.

"I'm the problem! My upbringing, and my big mouth, and my stupid, over-the-top, crazy person brain. I had _just_ talked to Fran about daddy, and his cheating, and all the crap we saw growing up. So I already had all this in my head when I called her which was a mistake but I needed to talk to my girlfriend, to hear her voice. I didn't think she was even going to answer, and was planning on leaving her a voice mail. But she did, and the first time I get to talk to her in forever and this is what she tells me. I should have been happy that she didn't try to hide it from me, but I couldn't get passed the fact that she let someone get that close to her."

"And that's when your big mouth got in the way." It wasn't a question. Both of them knew that was exactly what happened. "When she said that she rejected the woman, did you believe her?"

"I didn't."

"Do you now?"

Quinn swallowed roughly as she felt a tear roll down her cheek, "I want to, San, I want to believe it so bad that it hurts."

"No, what hurts is you being stupid and not calling and apologizing!"

Quinn shot up from her seat and began to pace the length of the conference room. "I TRIED! I tried so many times. I sent her flowers and text messages. And she won't answer my calls, she asked me to stop texting her."

"It takes a lot to piss Berry off that bad. I mean look at all the shit we put her through and she not only still talks to us, she sleeps with you. Which is gross by the way."

"Not like we invited you into our bedroom."

"Not like I'd wanted to be there." Santana gagged. "What did you say anyway?"

Quinn collapsed back into the chair and held her head in between her hands. "I told her once a cheater, always a cheater."

Quinn cringed as a string of Spanish assaulted her ears. "That's it! The next time I see your crazy ass I am gonna go all Lima Heights Adjacent on you!"

Santana growled as she started pacing her living room. "What the fuck were you thinking saying something like that, Q? Like you have _any _room to talk! Do you not remember the shit you pulled in high school? How would you feel if she had said something like that to you? Especially when you both KNOW you didn't cheat?"

"I know okay? I know I fucked up."

"This is beyond fucking up, Quinn! Why do you have to go and actively try to destroy every good thing that comes into your life?! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know." Quinn's quietly admitted words stopped Santana in her tracks. "But I'm working on it. And I am going to make this right. I have to make this right. San, I just… I don't feel like me without her anymore."

Quinn listened to Santana sigh, "Welcome to my world. How do you think I felt without Brittany?"

The silence hung between them at the memory. She'd gotten to know Santana's softer side over the years, but heart to hearts like this with her best friend still made her feel uneasy. She swallowed and shook her head, bringing them back into more familiar territory, "Yeah, well, I'm not planning on letting her date other people 'cause I can't deal with my own shit."

"Harsh, Fabray."

"Truth hurts." Quinn knew Santana wouldn't really take offense to her barbs. It's how they stayed friends for as long as they had.

Quinn looked up at the sound of a door opening and watched as two eyes narrowed at her in anger. "Listen, I have to go. But I promise, I'm working on this. I'm going to fix it."

"You better. Don't call me until you do."

* * *

Nine days had flown by and before she knew it she was saying her good-byes, turning another page in her story. She tried to read ahead, wondering what would come next, but the words seemed to blur before her eyes, along with the world that moved passed the window she vacantly stared out. She had still yet to speak to Quinn and was thankful when the woman finally slowed her barrage of text and voicemails after Rachel had asked for time. She'd done little else but think about what happened since she'd last spoken to Quinn. Rachel wasn't sure what she expected to happen when she returned to the states, but she was determined to work through this, no matter how hopeless she felt at the moment. Her anger had slowly changed to melancholy and she couldn't seem to shake the cloud that had settled over her.

"Ms. Berry," a voice startled her from her thoughts, "your plane?" Rachel looked up to see her driver holding the opposite door for her, unaware they had even stopped. Rachel gave the chauffeur a small smile and quietly thanked him as he helped her from the car. Once again, she was being spoiled. Tina's assistant had called her only hours before she was set to leave to tell her that she was needed in Europe and her firm was sending a private plane. As one of their top clients, they insisted on making adjustments to their flight in order to "relieve her of the burden of flying commercial." And they called her overdramatic. Even so, she wouldn't turn down the offer, especially if it meant getting to see her manager and friend. She hadn't even bothered to find out where they were flying to. Honestly, at this point, she didn't really care. It gave her an excuse to put off dealing with her girlfriend for a few more hours.

Rachel felt the guilt settle on her shoulders at the thought. She missed Quinn, so much it hurt. Yet, Quinn's words and lack of trust hurt even more. Rachel sighed and tried to shake off the feeling as she ambled up the stairs, greeting the small flight crew as she made her way on board. Before her eyes had even adjusted to the dimness of the cabin, she was engulfed in the hug. Rachel throat to tighten as she let her friend hold her. As she pulled back she slid on her stage smile and hid her doubts and fears away to deal with later. As it was, they had a long trip home.

"Okay, no. That's not going to work on me, Rachel Berry."

Rachel looked at her friend innocently as she stepped around her to store her over-sized bag under her chair and sat down. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

Tina followed her lead and sat down to prepare for their departure, but that didn't stop her from glaring at her long-time friend. "How long have we known each other?"

"I do believe that we met the first week of seventh grade. If you really want me to calculate the exact number of years ago that was, I can, but I have a feeling that you meant that in more of a rhetorical sense."

"And you would correct. Can we just say that I've known you long enough to know the difference between your real smile and a 'Rachel Berry Stage Smile'?"

Rachel felt her smile falter for just a second, but as she watched Tina's eyes narrow at her she knew it was enough to prove Tina's point. She knew just as much as Tina did that the smile that adorned her face was anything but sincere. Rachel finally let it fall and looked out the window. It was easier to ignore Tina's inquiry than try to explain to her what happened. She knew her friend would never let her get away with it, but she just needed a few moments to find her strength. Tina watched her friend, oblivious to anything going through the small diva's head, yet she didn't need to read her thoughts to see that the weight of the world currently rested on her friend's shoulders. Over the years, she had seen Rachel display almost every emotion possible, sometimes two or three at the same time, but she seen had never seen Rachel look so hopeless. The dull look in Rachel's eyes when she finally met Tina's scared her a little bit, and honestly, made her angry. No one should cause such a beautiful light to flicker for even a moment.

Rachel sighed in relief as the steward informed them of their impending take-off. It wasn't just wasn't like her to let something affect her this much as all of this had. Rachel closed her eyes and pictured the last few months. She remembered being knocked on her ass with the ending of her show and making a crazy, impromptu trip thousands of miles just to see her best friend's face, to feel the safety of her arms. She remembered the shock and happiness that had filled Quinn's face before she realized her best friend was crying. She flashed through months of learning to live together. Months of learning who Quinn was on levels she never had before. She smiled to herself as she recalled the pure joy that poured from Quinn's eyes as she donned that silly lion hat for the premier of some Harry Potter movie. She felt a smile tug at her lips as she recalled hours of banter, and snark, and cuddling. She remembered the first brush of Quinn's lips upon hers on set, the drunken sparkle in Quinn's eyes as April gave her eulogy, the broken sound of her voice as she made her promise to stay by her side in Lima. She flittered through flashes of their trip, seeing the tears of happiness fill green eyes as Quinn's eyes caught Rachel's as she hugged her sister. She reminisced as she remembered the last time she felt free as she sang, capping the end of a beautiful day with an even more beautiful first kiss. Rachel snickered to herself as she remembered the effects that speaking French had on her love. She remembered the first holiday together as well as their first, huge hurdle. She opened her eyes as the engines roared to life. As she stared out the window, the world slowly grew smaller and smaller, and she wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking, or the fact that one of her dearest friends had reached over to hold her hand, but it felt as the higher they ascended, the more her troubles seemed to as well. By the time they reached cruising altitude, she finally felt like she could breathe.

Tina gave her hand a soft squeezed before she pulled away. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Rachel felt her eyes on her as she stared out the window at the clouds painted in beautiful yellows and blues by the midday sun. She knew Tina was waiting on an answer, yet she couldn't bring herself to respond. "Come on, Rachel, whatever it is I'm sure we can handle. But I need you to open up and tell me what's going on."

"Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you honestly don't know how things became so turned around, and you're not even sure what happened and whose fault it may be?" Rachel's voice was soft as she continued to stare out of the window.

"I guess? Maybe?"

Rachel finally turned towards her friend. "I think I may have messed up."

Tina rolled her eyes. "I don't believe that. And even if I did, I cannot believe that Rachel Berry would ever admit that _she_ messed up."

"I'm not saying the fault is fully on myself, but I will admit that I may have taken things too far."

Tina's lip curled in disgust. "I will do you the favor of not pointing out that you tend to do that."

Rachel recoiled from the amount of bite that suddenly filled Tina's voice, wondering what had changed in the ten minutes they'd been up in the air. It was subtle, but Rachel could still hear the slight tinge of anger that tainted her friend's voice. "Excuse me if I refrain from thanking you for that. May I inquire what, and excuse my use of this colloquialism, but may I ask what exactly has your panties in a bunch?"

"This. You and Quinn."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Rachel admitted as she took in Tina's angry disposition.

"So you're trying to tell me that there is nothing going on between you and Quinn right now?"

"Well, we are fighting, but I don't know where you would get that information, nor why it is causing you to behave in such a despicable manner. I was under the impression that you wanted to know what happened but clearly you either have already somehow found out that something occurred between Quinn and I, or you are just randomly jumping to conclusions by assuming that I was speaking about Quinn to begin with."

"Of course you're speaking about Quinn!"

Rachel glared at her friend, wondering where the attitude was suddenly coming from. "There are things in my life other than Quinn."

Tina snorted. "Sure there is. New York for example. Broadway. Your dreams."

"Dreams change," Rachel stated plainly.

"YOU'VE changed!" Tina roared into the small space that separated the two sides of the tiny plane, "What the hell are you thinking Rachel? Do you even realize how much you've given up for this stupid fantasy that you're trying to make happen? With Quinn Fabray of all people?!"

Rachel sat there shocked at the Asian woman sitting across from her like she'd never seen her before. Rachel raised her eyebrows as she swallowed back her growing anger, "By all means, tell us how you really feel."

"You don't want to know how I really feel," Tina growled as she threw herself back in the chair.

"No, I am sure I do," Rachel growled, "It seems like you have a lot to say on the subject."

"Fine, you want to know?" Tina threw off her seat belt and turned in her chair to face Rachel. "You've changed Rachel. You've changed because of her. You used to be so self-confident, with plans to concur Broadway, and now I'm stuck following you around the world trying to book you gigs for pointless TV shows and horrible movies. You BELONG on the stage! And she's made you forget that. Forget your dreams. Forget who you are! She's completely screwed with your head! Look at you right now! You're blaming yourself for something she did!"

"How would you know what she did? I haven't even told you." Rachel glared.

"You didn't HAVE to! She's Quinn-fucking-Fabray. Of course she's going to hurt you, just like she always has!"

Rachel gritted her teeth. She didn't know where all of this was coming from but she wasn't going to sit her and listen to someone she thought was her friend completely berate the woman she was in love with. "I think that's enough," Rachel growled.

"No, it's not! Because you still have it in your mind that she's perfect. Nothing about this is perfect. It doesn't even make any sense. You both went from chasing boys to chasing each other in a blink of the eye. I swear if I didn't know any better as your manager I would say the whole thing was a publicity stunt! You two HATED each other in high school. She tortured you, tortured all of us, and yet you are willing to forgive and forget? I mean, it was bad enough that you had to go and become friends with her, following her around like some desperate little puppy dog, but then to fuck her?"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" Rachel boomed as raised from her seat. "I don't know where the hell you get off thinking you can speak about MY relationship like you are, but I am DONE."

"You should have been done after that shit you both pulled in New York! I was all set to bail you out and bring you back home where you belong, but no, the two of you had to go and decide that everyone should know about your little indiscretion."

Rachel glared at her manager as all the pieces finally started to fall into place. "I always wondered why you never stopped us." Rachel's words were soft and even, but both women could hear the hatred that had seeped into them. "Even falling over drunk, as my manager, you should have stopped every single moment that happened in that bar –from the second someone said body shots you should have…."

"…stopped you from making a complete and utter fool out of yourself? I was hoping a little tough love would wake you up! Though, admittedly, I didn't foresee the fact that the two of you wouldn't be able to keep it in your pants until you got somewhere more private."

"Fuck you, Cohen."

"Not my type."

"Like I would degrade myself with the likes of you," Rachel was seething. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "After this trip, we're done." Rachel's voice was deadly calm as she stood over her former friend and manager. "I don't care what I have to do, we're finished."

Tina chuckled and folded her arms across her chest as she sat back, "You forget who you are dealing with. I graduated from Brown with an Executive MBA Masters and a double undergrad in Marketing and PR. I am good at what I do. Great even. I've taken you from talented, yet overly full-of-herself diva to one of the most sought after entertainers in the world." Rachel wanted to smack the smirk off of the Asian woman's face as she gloated. "Not to mention we have an iron clad contract. You made sure of that."

Rachel growled as she stormed back the whole six foot that remained of the cabin. Rachel stood and stared out the last window as she balled her fist repeatedly, trying to recall every line to the contract that she made her own lawyers comb over multiple times. She knew, as much as she hated to admit it, she knew she'd fucked herself with that move. Rachel stomped her foot like a child and bit back the yell that was bubbling up in the back of her throat.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need to request that you sit."

Rachel side-eyed the young steward. She didn't want to sit. She didn't want to be on this damn plane. And she sure as hell didn't want Tina as her manager any longer. She just wanted to get away from everyone and everything. But no, of course none of those things would work out her way. She couldn't get out of her contract. She couldn't exactly demand that they land when she had no idea where they even were. And now here was this man who no doubt had heard every word of their fight telling her she needed to sit. Only one of those things she could actually do something about.

"Please, ma'am," the man repeated in a firm and heavily accented voice, "I am asking you politely to have a seat."

"And I am going to politely disincline," Rachel said through clenched teeth.

"Ma'am, the captain has turned the seatbelt light on. I must insist that you find a seat."

Rachel glared at him as she settled into a chair in the back of the plane. She couldn't stand to be near her former friend and regretfully she was stuck on a plane with her for god only knew how many hours. Right now, she just wanted to be as far away from her as possible. If she had her way, they'd be landing their plan and she would find her own way home. She wasn't even quite sure of their destination as she had only been informed that it Tina was "needed in Europe." It was bad enough that she was stuck on this plane for the unforeseeable future with the woman; Rachel refused to be trapped in a small, confined space with the Asian woman for the length of a trans-Atlantic flight. She may be forced to work with the woman, but that didn't mean she had to be near her any longer than she had to be.

Rachel hated admitting defeat, but she knew Tina was right when she said that there was no way she'd be able to get out of her contract. It was completely air tight –she'd had her own lawyers make sure of it, a fact that she now horribly regretted. Through everything, Tina had been the perfect manager for her. In all actuality, even with this horrible stunt, she still was. She was tough, hard-working, and knew all of Rachel's strengths and weaknesses as both a performer and as a person. If she didn't hate her so much for what she had done, she might actually respect Tina a little more for having the gumption to pull what she had. Rachel sighed to herself as she accepted that they would have, at least for the time being, maintain a working relationship. That didn't mean she would ever trust the woman again after this level of betrayal. She hated the morose thought even as it crossed her mind, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone in her life who wouldn't hurt and betray her at some point?

* * *

Of course. Of course the actor Tina was sent to contact was located in the one damn city in the world she never wanted to come to alone. Rachel silently glared at her manager from across the town car, refusing to look out the window as she silently fumed. Damn her luck and damn Tina for bringing her to the most romantic city in the world when the woman she loved was halfway across the world. Paris, Rachel growled to herself, it had to be Paris. And of course they had to fly into Paris Le Bourget –the one airport near the famed city that was dedicated exclusively to private aircraft. The only way she was going to get a flight was by hiring a private jet last minute –at a cost of almost $100,000. During the entire fiasco, her manager had leaned against a nearby column with an ever growing smirk on her face.

"I won't torture either of us for longer than I have to. You have a first-class seat reserved at Roissy Airport in the morning." Tina chirped, still looking at her phone with that stupid smirk on her face. Rachel glared at Tina as she snatched her purse off of the counter, remembering only belatedly to thank the woman behind the counter before she stormed off, only to stop when she heard Tina laugh. "Wrong way."

Rachel huffed and spun on her heel, waiting for Tina to lead them in the right direction, refusing to look at the woman much less talk to her. She hadn't spoke to her during the remainder of their two hour flight, nor in the hour it had taken to get through customs and the failure of trying to find a flight home. She wasn't about to speak to her now. As far as she was concerned, she wouldn't be speaking to Tina ever again. She'd been meaning to hire a personal assistant now that she was on the West Coast and now she had the perfect excuse to. She'd allow her assistant to handle any interactions she'd have to have with Tina. It was a diva move and she knew it, but that wouldn't make her feel guilty about it.

The one thing she did feel guilty about was not talking to her girlfriend. It had gone on too long and now being here, in Paris, without out her, broke her heart that much more. She needed to talk to Quinn, to deal with what had happened and what had been said. It was time, beyond time. Rachel knew she'd let this go on far too long. She knew that she was pretty horrible about communicating, she wanted things her way or no way. And this time, she wasn't even sure what she wanted. She wanted Quinn, she knew that much for sure, but she didn't know what she wanted _from_ Quinn. The woman had tried to apologize repeatedly over the last week and a half. She'd tried calling, texting, emailing. She'd sent flowers. It was everything that she always wanted. She finally had someone who wanted her and was willing to fight for her even in the face of absolute radio silence from her end. She knew that Quinn was sorry, but that didn't make it better. It didn't help that she still couldn't shake the guilt over what had almost happened either.

"I had taken the liberty of renting us a condo," Tina's voice broke her from thoughts, "while under the assumption that we would be sharing it while I conducted business for the next day or two." Rachel looked up as she heard the hesitation in her former friend's voice. Tina gave her a sad smile and shook her head, "I can't, and won't, apologize for what I said, Rachel. I truly believe you are walking away from everything for the wrong person. I _am_ sorry for the way I said it though. I understand though that it will take you a while to accept that. I just hope that she doesn't destroy you before that day comes." She waited for Rachel to respond and sighed when the diva looked away. "I will do us both the favor of finding alternative lodging. The firm rented it out for the week, and your ticket is flexible, so stay as long as you like."

Rachel watched at Tina leaned back and spoke to the driver. She didn't want to stay in Paris, She didn't want to put off talking to Quinn any longer. She was homesick and just needed to fall into Quinn's arms and hear the love of her life tell her everything was going to be okay, that they would work it out. She needed to tell Quinn she was sorry for ignoring her when she was trying to apologize. She needed to have Quinn tell her that she was sorry for what she said and for not trusting her. She just… she needed to go home. Rachel swallowed around the lump in her throat as her eyes burned with tears she refused to cry in front of her manager.

"For what it's worth," Tina said as she slid around Rachel to get out of the car, "I hope I'm wrong."

"Me too." Rachel whispered into the space of the empty car as a tear slid down her face.

* * *

Quinn paced back and forth through the small living room, as she checked her phone again. She wasn't sure what time Rachel was supposed to land, much less when she would show up. It wasn't like Rachel had called to tell her when she should expect her. Part of her wanted to meet her at the airport, but she didn't even know what flight Rachel might possibly be on, much less if the small diva would even want her there. Would she have ran into her arms? Or would she have looked at her impassively and kept walking? Rachel had said that she wasn't leaving her, that she just needed time, but how much time? Quinn dropped her phone on the couch and shook the nervousness out of her hands. She had too much pent up energy. She felt like she needed to go for a run but she was too afraid that she would miss Rachel if she did. She could clean, but as she looked around, everything was spotless and in its place.

Quinn almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of her phone buzzing. She scrambled to grab it and say a message from an unknown number. Her hands shook as she fumbled to open it up.

**Don't fuck this up, Fabray.**

That was it. Nothing else. Don't fuck this up. Quinn glared at the phone and fought the urge to throw her phone against the wall. Don't fuck this up, Fabray. Great advice. Quinn rolled her eyes and threw the phone back onto the couch. She had to make this right, because as much as she wanted to smack someone for telling her not to screw this up, she had almost done just that. She should have trusted Rachel. She shouldn't have let her issues lead to this. In a perfect world, where she was the perfect girlfriend, she would have been amused that Rachel hadn't even noticed she was being flirted with. In a perfect world, she would have found it completely endearing that not only did Rachel love her so much that she was oblivious that she was being hit on, she ended up gushing about how much she loved Quinn afterward. But it wasn't a perfect world, and she wasn't a perfect girlfriend, and she had let her daddy issues and her lack of trust almost destroy the best thing that had happened to her.

And she wasn't going to let that happen again. She wasn't going to fuck this up. Because she cared too much for Rachel to let that happen.

Quinn wasn't sure how long she had paced the room for, but the sky was already starting to darken by the time she collapsed into the couch, her back spasming painfully. Quinn knew better than to try and run a marathon, run, pace, whatever, after sitting for so many hours but her nerves were getting the better of her. Quinn dug her thumbs into her lower back trying to ease some of the pressure when she heard the door open. She flew to her feet, completely ignoring the pain she was in as she stepped into the foyer. A man in a suit and hat blocked her view as he carried in two large suitcases and an attaché. Quinn tried swallowing but her mouth was dry. She rocked on her heels as her pulse thundered and her stomach twisted.

"Breathe. Just breathe. You can do this." Quinn whispered to herself over and over again as she heard a voice she would recognize anywhere thank the man. She tried to wipe the sweat from her hands but it was no use. She would be okay as long as she didn't go into a panic attack. That was the last thing she needed. So Quinn continued her mantra as she watched her diva juggle her bag to dig out a tip for the driver.

Rachel distractedly smiled and waved at the man as she stepped into the dark condo. It had been a long day that had just piled on top of a long few weeks. Rachel was exhausted and just wanted to find something to eat and a soft place to lay her head for a few hours before she made her way home. She just hoped that the condo was fully stocked and she didn't have to call out for food. Even though she could speak the language fluently, she just didn't want to deal with the hassle of it all. Rachel pushed the door shut and leaned her head against it, exhausted. Rachel flipped around, her hand to her chest when she heard a noise behind her. If the sound of someone else in the foyer had set her heart racing, the site before her stopped it completely. After the day she had had he wasn't sure if the universe was trying to curse her or if this was her reward.

Rachel's eyes slowly slid over the form in front of her and bit back the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. Rachel took a small step forward and stopped, her knees threatening to buckled under her own weight. "Q-Quinn?"

Quinn bit her lip and tried to remember to breathe as Rachel's eyes locked onto her own. She knew should stop staring, that she should say any of the numerous words she had prepared. She should breathe before she passed out. But she couldn't move, couldn't make her mouth open, as she drank in the sight before her. She could see the exhaustion that clung to the smaller woman's frame, but there were a million other details that she took in, things that she hadn't noticed during their few short video chats. Things like the small scratches that went from Rachel's wrist to her elbow, a hazard of her job she was sure. She could see how Rachel's hair was a slightly lighter shade, her skin just a little bit more golden after working for hours in the sun. She could see the glassy look in Rachel's eyes that told her she was nearing tears and she wanted nothing more than to cross the small distance that separated them to pull Rachel into her arms. The last observation finally pulled Quinn from her Rachel induced stupor.

"Hi." Quinn kicked herself. Three months, thousands of miles, and a huge fight, and all she can come up with is, 'hi'? "I... I had this.. I had words I was going to say. Lots of them. I uh, I wrote you a speech and I was going to beg for your forgiveness, and I still am. But I've forgotten the words. And I practiced a song. And I had all this, but, you, you're here. And look at you. Look at me! You've turned me into this bumbling idiot." Quinn couldn't stop her feet from moving forward, even if only to close the distance by a small bit. "I have so much I want to say to you, Rachel. So many things I need to tell you."

Rachel's bag slid down her arm and landed at her feet as she nodded and took another small step. "We really do have to talk."

"I know."

Rachel looked at Quinn for the first time in months and couldn't believe how much she wanted to pull the woman into her arms and never let her go. She had missed Quinn the entire time, she knew that without a shadow of a doubt; yet, she didn't realize until right this moment how visceral that feeling was. She needed to touch Quinn, to feel her arms around her and know that they were safe, that no matter what, they would be okay. It hurt her to keep her feet planted, to not run into the very arms that she so desperately needed wrapped around her. Rachel sighed as she took a few steps and stopped again, warring with herself. They really did need to talk. But maybe, just this once, talking could wait. She knew she'd forgive Quinn and she knew the woman would do the same for her. And right now, she needed all of those things more than she needed a song or a big long speech.

Quinn saw the indecision on Rachel's face and nodded. She knew that there was a possibility that showing up here like this wasn't the best of plans, but it was all she had. She was desperate and needed to talk to Rachel, more than that she needed to see her, to hold her, to remember just what it was she was fighting so hard for. But Quinn didn't want to push the woman more than she had already been pushed. She could see the dark circles that Rachel tried to expertly hide under layers of makeup, but after all the time they had shared together, Quinn knew what to look for. Rachel looked exhausted. And nervous. She watched as Rachel began to fiddle with her hands, a sure fire way to tell that the smaller woman was nervous or apprehensive.

Quinn bit her lip and dug her hands into her side to keep from reaching out and taking those hands into her own. She wanted to comfort Rachel, to tell her she had nothing to be nervous about, but the truth was, Quinn wasn't sure. She wasn't sure if she'd made the right choice coming here. And she wasn't sure where they stood at the moment. But she had tried, she had come this far. She just needed Rachel to take the last few steps, to let her know that she was wanted here, and she would do whatever it took after that to show Rachel just how sorry she was. But it seemed as if Rachel wasn't ready to bridge that gap yet.

Quinn nodded into the silence that separated them as she felt her heart begin to shatter. Coming here was a mistake. She realized that now. It was too soon, too much, and now she was going to pay the brunt of it by scraping together the remaining pieces of her broken heart to give Rachel the space she needed. Quinn nodded again and turned to walk away.

"I missed you!" Rachel's voice echoed through the empty space, dying away only to be replaced by the sound of Quinn's sigh.

"I missed you too, Rae."

"Then please, don't walk away."

Quinn closed her eyes and brought her chin to her chest, trying to remind herself that she was the one who put herself into this situation, now she was just going to have to deal with the consequences of showing up here. "I'm… I'm not running." She admitted as she looked down, "I can't run from you even if I wanted to."

Rachel let herself smile a little about that. Quinn was here. Her Quinn, the love of her life, the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen, was here, in Paris, in the city of love. She was here because she missed her. Quinn Fabray, former HBIC, and one of the greatest tormentors of Rachel's young life, was here to beg for her forgiveness, though they she knew they were both at fault. She was here because she loved her and wanted this, wanted them, to work out. Rachel couldn't stop the smile that slowly spread across her face nor could she keep the tremble from her voice as she called out Quinn's name softly.

Quinn shivered at the sound and felt her throat close as she felt the warmth of Rachel's body grow closer to her own. The light fragrance of Rachel's perfume that complimented her own natural scent so well wrapped around her and Quinn rocked in place as she fought the pull to lean back into the other woman's touch. Her skin tingled with need to feel Rachel pressed against her. Her stomach clenched at the thought of strong arms wrapped around her waist. Quinn could feel her own breath catch in her throat as Rachel's breath ghosted across her shoulders. Quinn was certain her brain had turned to absolute mush knowing that Rachel was so close, so amazingly, excruciatingly close, but not touching her. She wondered if Rachel could hear her pounding heart she was so close. Her pulse raced and her breath came in small gasps –a heady mixture of desire and nerves swimming through her system.

Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel wanted from her bur she knew she would give her everything if she would just touch her for only a second. Quinn would give anything to know that Rachel forgave her and still wanted her around. So many people had pushed her away or turned their backs and Quinn wasn't sure if she'd survive Rachel doing the same thing.

"Quinn?" Rachel watched as Quinn visibly shivered as her whisper washed over the sensitive skin on her neck. "Turn around."

Quinn's whole body shook as she slowly turned around, her breath leaving her body with a sigh of relief as she felt Rachel's hands take her own. She shivered again, this time from pure nerves, as Rachel lightly squeezed her hands before trailing her fingers up Quinn's arms to bury themselves in the soft hair at the back of Quinn's neck. Quinn instinctively moved closer and lightly placed her hands on Rachel's hips, still afraid to touch her.

Rachel stared into green eyes that were currently filled with fear, love, and hope, and gave her lover a small smile, "We still need to talk, about a lot of things, but I've missed you and I'm so glad you're here."

Quinn released a shuddered breath that was caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob as Rachel stepped into her body and wrapped her arms around her tightly. It took only a second her arms to slide around the small woman's waist to pull her closer. "I'm not going anywhere," she promised as she buried her face into dark locks, inhaling the scent of vanilla and honey that seemed to cling to the woman wherever she went. Rachel's arms tightened around her neck as she nuzzled against her neck, kissing the soft warm skin behind her ear, before settling her head on Quinn's strong shoulder. Quinn laid her head gently on her lovers and both women sighed in contentment. There was still a lot to talk about, a lot to get settled, but for the moment, both were okay to just bask in the feeling of being close to one another. Time passed though neither could find it in them to care. They could have stood there for minutes or hours as they both relished in the feeling of the other's arms wrapped around them. They were finally home.


	30. Heartache and Home

**Ok, I suck. I know I suck. My best friend is visiting and sitting here reminding my that I suck. Because it has been like... a year. And I have had this chapter done for a while. But I wanted to get a head start on the next chapter. (Which I have on good authority is one of the best in a while!) And this chapter is MASSIVE. I'm talking almost 14,000 words massive. I tried to find a place to split it but there really wasn't a good place to. So you guys get a huge chapter as an apology.**

**Btw... to everyone who keeps PMing heya8713 to ask her when I am going to update -you guy make my day. I think it's hilarious that you guys are bugging one of my besties instead of me. Ethel! Gahhhh you're here! I promise to finish your chapter this weekend. Even if you are legitimately breathing down my neck while I do so!**

* * *

Of course; Of course, the actor Tina was sent to contact was located in the one damn city in the world she never wanted to come to alone. Rachel silently glared at her manager from across the town car, refusing to look out the window as she silently fumed. Paris, Rachel growled to herself, it had to be Paris. Of course, they had to fly into Paris Le Bourget –the one airport near the famed city that was dedicated exclusively to private aircraft. She stood at the counter for almost an hour trying to find a way home that didn't depend on going any further with her manager than she had to. And of course, the only way she was going to get a flight was by hiring a private jet last minute –at a cost of almost $100,000.

During the entire fiasco, her manager had leaned against a nearby column with an ever growing smirk on her face.

"I won't torture either of us for longer than I have to. You have a first-class seat reserved at Roissy Airport in the morning." Tina chirped, still looking at her phone with that stupid smirk on her face.

Rachel glared at Tina as she snatched her purse off of the counter, remembering only belatedly to thank the woman behind the counter before she stormed off, only to stop when she heard Tina laugh. "Wrong way."

Rachel huffed and spun on her heel, waiting for Tina to lead them in the right direction, refusing to look at the woman much less talk to her. She hadn't spoken to her during the remainder of their two-hour flight, nor in the hour it had taken to get through customs and the failure of trying to find a flight home. She wasn't about to speak to her now.

As far as she was concerned, she wouldn't be speaking to Tina ever again. She'd been meaning to hire a personal assistant now that she was on the West Coast and now she had the perfect excuse to. She'd allow her assistant to handle any interactions she'd have to have with Tina. It was a diva move and she knew it, but that wouldn't make her feel guilty about it.

The one thing she did feel guilty about was not talking to her girlfriend. It had gone on too long and now being here, in Paris, without out her, broke her heart that much more. She needed to talk to Quinn, to deal with what had happened and what had been said. It was time, beyond time. Rachel knew she'd let this go on far too long.

She knew that she was pretty horrible about communicating. She wanted things her way or no way. And this time, she wasn't even sure what she wanted. She wanted Quinn, she knew that much for sure, but she didn't know what she wanted from Quinn. The woman had tried to apologize repeatedly over the last week and a half. She'd tried calling, texting, emailing. She'd sent flowers. It was everything that she always wanted. She finally had someone who wanted her and was willing to fight for her even in the face of absolute radio silence on her end. She knew that Quinn was sorry, but that didn't make it better. It didn't help that she still couldn't shake the guilt over what had almost happened either.

"I had taken the liberty of renting us a condo," Tina's voice broke her from thoughts, "while under the assumption that we would be sharing it while I conducted business for the next day or two." Rachel looked up as she heard the hesitation in her former friend's voice. Tina gave her a sad smile and shook her head, "I can't, and won't, apologize for what I said, Rachel. I truly believe you are walking away from everything for the wrong person. I am sorry for the way I said it, though. I understand though that it will take you a while to accept that. I just hope that she doesn't destroy you before that day comes."

She waited for Rachel to respond and sighed when the diva looked away. "I will do us both the favor of finding alternative lodging. The firm rented it out for the week, and your ticket is flexible, so stay as long as you like."

Rachel watched at Tina leaned back and spoke to the driver. She didn't want to stay in Paris; she didn't want to put off talking to Quinn any longer. She was homesick and just needed to fall into Quinn's arms and hear the love of her life tell her everything was going to be okay, that they would work it out. She needed to tell Quinn she was sorry for ignoring her when she was trying to apologize. She needed to have Quinn tell her that she was sorry for what she said and for not trusting her. She just… she needed to go home. Rachel swallowed around the lump in her throat as her eyes burned with tears she refused to cry in front of her manager.

"For what it's worth," Tina said as she slid around Rachel to get out of the car, "I hope I'm wrong."

"Me too," Rachel whispered into the space of the empty car as a tear slid down her face.

Quinn paced back and forth through the small living room, as she checked her phone again. She wasn't sure what time Rachel was supposed to land, much less when she would show up. It wasn't like Rachel had called to tell her when she should expect her. Part of her wanted to meet her at the airport, but she didn't even know what flight Rachel might possibly be on, much less if the small diva would even want her there.

Would she have run into her arms? Or would she have looked at her impassively and kept walking? Rachel had said that she wasn't leaving her, that she just needed time, but how much time? Quinn dropped her phone on the couch and shook the nervousness out of her hands. She had too much pent up energy. She felt like she needed to go for a run but she was too afraid that she would miss Rachel if she did. She could clean, but as she looked around, everything was spotless and in its place.

Quinn almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of her phone buzzing. She scrambled to grab it and say a message from an unknown number. Her hands shook as she fumbled to open it up.

Don't fuck this up, Fabray.

That was it; nothing else. Don't fuck this up. Quinn glared at the phone and fought the urge to throw her phone against the wall. Don't fuck this up, Fabray. Great advice. Quinn rolled her eyes and threw the phone back onto the couch. She had to make this right, because as much as she wanted to smack someone for telling her not to screw this up, she had almost done just that. She should have trusted Rachel. She shouldn't have let her issues lead to this.

In a perfect world, where she was the perfect girlfriend, she would have been amused that Rachel hadn't even noticed she was being flirted with. In a perfect world, she would have found it completely endearing that not only did Rachel love her so much that she was oblivious that she was being hit on, she ended up gushing about how much she loved Quinn afterward. But it wasn't a perfect world, and she wasn't a perfect girlfriend, and she had let her daddy issues and her lack of trust almost destroy the best thing that had happened to her. And she wasn't going to let that happen again. She wasn't going to fuck this up. Because she cared too much for Rachel to let that happen.

Quinn wasn't sure how long she had paced the room for, but the sky was already starting to darken by the time she collapsed onto the couch, her back spasming painfully. Quinn knew better than to try and run a marathon, run, pace, whatever, after sitting for so many hours but her nerves were getting the better of her. Quinn dug her thumbs into her lower back trying to ease some of the pressure when she heard the door open. She flew to her feet, completely ignoring the pain she was in as she stepped into the foyer. A man in a suit and hat blocked her view as he carried in two large suitcases and an attaché that she recognized instantly. Quinn tried swallowing but her mouth was dry. She rocked on her heels as her pulse thundered and her stomach twisted.

"Breathe. Just breathe. You can do this." Quinn whispered to herself over and over again as she heard a voice she would recognize anywhere thank the man. She tried to wipe the sweat from her hands but it was no use. She would be okay as long as she didn't go into a panic attack. That was the last thing she needed. So Quinn continued her mantra as she watched her diva juggle her bag to dig out a tip for the driver.

Rachel distractedly smiled and waved at the man as she stepped into the dark condo. It had been a long day that had just piled on top of a long few weeks. Rachel was exhausted and just wanted to find something to eat and a soft place to lay her head for a few hours before she made her way home. She just hoped that the condo was fully stocked and she didn't have to call out for food. Even though she could speak the language fluently, she just didn't want to deal with the hassle of it all. Rachel pushed the door shut and leaned her head against it, exhausted.

Rachel flipped around, her hand to her chest when she heard a noise behind her. If the sound of someone else in the foyer had set her heart racing, the site before her stopped it completely. After the day she had had she wasn't sure if the universe was trying to curse her or if this was her reward. Rachel's eyes slowly slid over the form in front of her and bit back the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. Rachel took a small step forward and stopped, her knees threatening to buckle under her own weight.

"Q-Quinn?"

Quinn bit her lip and tried to remember to breathe as Rachel's eyes locked onto her own. She knew she should stop staring, that she should say any of the numerous speeches she had prepared. She should breathe before she passed out. But she couldn't move, couldn't make her mouth open, as she drank in the sight before her. She could see the exhaustion that clung to the smaller woman's frame, but there were a million other details that she took in, things that she hadn't noticed during their few short video chats.

Things like the small scratches that went from Rachel's wrist to her elbow, a hazard of her job she was sure. She could see how Rachel's hair was a slightly lighter shade, her skin just a little bit more golden after working for hours in the sun. She could see the glassy look in Rachel's eyes that told her she was nearing tears and she wanted nothing more than to cross the small distance that separated them to pull Rachel into her arms. The last observation finally pulled Quinn from her Rachel-induced stupor.

"Hi." Quinn kicked herself. Three months, thousands of miles, and a huge fight, and all she can come up with is 'hi'?

"I... I had this... I had words I was going to say. Lots of them. I uh, I wrote you a speech and I was going to beg for your forgiveness, and I still am. But I've forgotten the words. And the song -I practiced a song. And I, but, you, you're here. And look at you. Look at me! You've turned me into this bumbling idiot." Quinn couldn't stop her feet from moving forward, even if only to close the distance by a small bit. "I have so much I want to say to you, Rachel. So many things I need to tell you."

Rachel's bag slid down her arm and landed at her feet as she nodded and took another small step. "We really do have to talk."

"I know."

Rachel looked at Quinn for the first time in months and couldn't believe how much she wanted to pull the woman into her arms and never let her go. She had missed Quinn the entire time, she knew that without a shadow of a doubt; yet, she didn't realize until right this moment how visceral that feeling was. She needed to touch Quinn, to feel her arms around her and know that they were safe, that no matter what, they would be okay. It hurt her to keep her feet planted, to not run into the very arms that she so desperately needed to be wrapped around her.

Rachel sighed as she took a few steps and stopped again, warring with herself. They really did need to talk. But maybe, just this once, talking could wait. She knew she would eventually forgive Quinn and she knew the woman would do the same for her. And right now, she needed all of those things more than she needed a song or a big long speech.

Quinn saw the indecision on Rachel's face and nodded. She knew that there was a possibility that showing up here like this wasn't the best of plans, but it was all she had. She was desperate and needed to talk to Rachel, more than that she needed to see her, to hold her, to remember just what it was she was fighting so hard for. But Quinn didn't want to push the woman more than she had already been pushed. She could see the dark circles that Rachel tried to expertly hide under layers of makeup, but after all the time they had shared together, Quinn knew what to look for. Rachel looked exhausted, and nervous. She watched as Rachel began to fiddle with her hands, a sure-fire way to tell that the smaller woman was nervous or apprehensive.

Quinn bit her lip and dug her hands into her side to keep from reaching out and taking those hands into her own. She wanted to comfort Rachel, to tell her she had nothing to be nervous about, but the truth was; Quinn wasn't sure. She wasn't sure if she'd made the right choice coming here. And she wasn't sure where they stood at the moment. But she had tried, she had come this far. She just needed Rachel to take the last few steps, to let her know that she was wanted here, and she would do whatever it took after that to show Rachel just how sorry she was. But it seemed as if Rachel wasn't ready to bridge that gap yet.

Quinn nodded again to herself even as she heard her heart shatter into the silence that separated them. Coming here was a mistake, she realized that now. It was too soon, too much, and now she was going to pay the brunt of it by scraping together the remaining pieces of her broken heart to give Rachel the space she needed. Quinn took a fortifying breath and turned to walk away.

"I missed you!" Rachel's voice echoed through the empty space, dying away only to be replaced by the sound of Quinn's sigh as Quinn's feet stalled, half turned in her escape.

"I missed you too, Rae," Quinn said, quietly.

"Then please, don't walk away."

"If you need space," Quinn closed her eyes and brought her chin to her chest, trying to remind herself that she was the one who put herself into this situation, now she was just going to have to deal with the consequences of showing up here, "I can give you that. I'm… I'm not running," She admitted as she looked down. "I can't run from you even if I wanted to."

Rachel let herself smile a little about that. Quinn was here. Her Quinn, the love of her life, the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen, was here, in Paris, in the city of love. She was here because she missed her. Quinn Fabray, former HBIC, and one of the greatest tormentors of Rachel's young life was here to beg for her forgiveness. She was here because she loved her and wanted this, wanted them, to work out. Rachel couldn't stop the smile that slowly spread across her face nor could she keep the tremble from her voice as she called out Quinn's name softly.

Quinn shivered at the sound and felt her throat close as she felt the warmth of Rachel's body grow closer to her own. The light fragrance of Rachel's perfume that complimented Rachel's own natural scent so well wrapped around her and Quinn rocked in place as she fought the pull to lean back into the other woman's touch. Her skin tingled with the need to feel Rachel pressed against her. Her stomach clenched at the thought of strong arms wrapped around her waist. Quinn could feel her own breath catch in her throat as Rachel's breath ghosted across her shoulders. Quinn was certain her brain had turned to absolute mush knowing that Rachel was so close, so amazingly, excruciatingly close, but not touching her.

She wondered if Rachel could hear her pounding heart she was so close. Her pulse raced and her breath came in small gasps –a heady mixture of desire and nerves swimming through her system. Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel wanted from her but she knew she would give her everything if she would just touch her for only a second. Quinn would give anything to know that Rachel forgave her and still wanted her around. So many people had pushed her away or turned their backs and Quinn wasn't sure if she'd survive Rachel doing the same thing.

"Quinn?" Rachel watched as Quinn visibly shivered as her whisper washed over the sensitive skin on her neck. "Turn around."

Quinn's whole body shook as she slowly turned around, her breath leaving her body with a sigh of relief as she felt Rachel's hands take her own. She shivered again, this time from pure nerves, as Rachel lightly squeezed her hands before trailing her fingers up Quinn's arms to bury themselves in the soft hair at the back of Quinn's neck. Quinn instinctively moved closer and lightly placed her hands on Rachel's hips, still afraid to touch her.

Rachel stared into green eyes that were currently filled with fear, love, and hope, and gave her lover a small smile, "We still need to talk, about a lot of things, but I've missed you and I'm so glad you're here."

Quinn released a shuddered breath that was caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob as Rachel stepped into her body and wrapped her arms around her tightly. It took only a second her arms to slide around the small woman's waist to pull her closer.

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised as she buried her face into dark locks, inhaling the scent of vanilla and honey that seemed to cling to the woman wherever she went. Rachel's arms tightened around her neck as she nuzzled against it, kissing the soft warm skin behind her ear, before settling her head on Quinn's strong shoulder. Quinn laid her head gently on her lovers and both women sighed in contentment.

There was still a lot to talk about, a lot to get settled, but for the moment, both were okay to just bask in the feeling of being close to one another. Time passed though neither could find it in them to care. They could have stood there for minutes or hours as they both relished in the feeling of the other's arms wrapped around them. They were finally home.

Home. That's what this was. Here, with her arms wrapped around Quinn, her hands clutching at and the other woman's shoulder blades, her nose tucked into the crook of Quinn's neck. There were a million things they needed to say to each other, so much that they still had yet to deal with, but none of that mattered as they both held tightly to one another, neither willing to relinquish their hold. Rachel knew she wouldn't make the same mistakes she used to -pretending everything was okay as she had in the past but she was loathed to let go and face everything. With her head laying against Quinn's shoulder, feeling the woman burying her face into the crown of her head, she couldn't remember a time when she had ever felt as content as she did in that moment. Time passed though neither could find it in them to care.

It's been... like almost a year. Seriously, I know I suck. My best friend is visiting me right now and actively reminding me I suck. I suck worse because... well this chapter has been done for a while. And I am just now getting around to post it. On a good note -I have the next chapter about half done as well and am assured by those who have read it that it is one of the best in forever. Hopefully, I'll have it finished this weekend and off to my beta soon after. If heya8713 has any say in it it will be sooner! (btw to everyone who keeps asking her if I'm going to update -y'all make my day. I think that's hilarious!)

She had still been unsure of just what she would say or do when they were finally face-to-face until the moment she was pulled into Quinn's embrace. But the look of defeat that had clouded Quinn's eyes as she had turned to walk away was enough to break her own heart. She truly had missed Quinn -her snark, her humor, the feel of her arms wrapped around her in a way that made her feel everything the woman was. Quinn had come to her. She didn't just ignore the problem. Rachel wasn't sure what Quinn had planned to say or do, but she knew that just by her showing up, she was truly trying. Because of that and so many other reasons, Rachel knew whatever this rift was between them it would make them stronger in the end. They would work through this and anything else that came their way.

In that moment she needed and wanted nothing more than to be close to Quinn. Quinn, who made her laugh and want to sing again. Quinn, who was her best friend and the person she felt she could tell anything to. Quinn, who had flown halfway across the world to meet her in the most romantic city in the world just to seek her forgiveness. Quinn who clung to her as if they would both float away if she released her even for a moment. And it made Rachel's heart swell with love and devotion, unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Quinn willed herself to relax in Rachel's arms but she was so terrified of what was still to come. They had put off talking in order to hold one another. And it was okay. Better than okay even. It was what they needed. The warmth radiating from Rachel's small form seeping into her skin slowly soothed the fear and nerves that had plagued her since she'd first stepped into that conference room four days ago. Even so, Quinn had learned a long time ago that the longer things went without being talked about the harder they became to discuss and the more risk they had of hurting everyone involved. High school had taught her that lesson more than once. Yet, with each small puff from Rachel's lips against her neck, her body tensed with something other than the desire to talk. She could sense every inch of her body that brushed innocently against Rachel's. And the longer Rachel's breath brushed across her neck, the more aware she became of it.

Quinn licked her lips and took a deep breath, willing her heartbeat to slow and cursed her traitorous body. She knew now wasn't the time, not with all they still had to discuss. She really did have a speech prepared, a dozen of them if she was being honest with herself. Yet, she couldn't will her lips to work, to form words, or to break this moment. Instead, her lips tingled with the need to be pressed against the ones lightly brushing against her neck. 'That perfect blend of sexy and adorable that makes your heart flutter and your pulse race… like warm silk, soft and gentle… curves in all the right places.' Quinn couldn't suppress the small shudder that ran through her as she remembered what Rachel had said what kissing a woman felt like.

Rachel swallowed as she felt Quinn shiver and slid her arms around Quinn's waist to pull her closer.

There wasn't even a hair's breathe between them, yet it still didn't seem close enough. Pressed tightly against Quinn was the first time in weeks that Rachel felt like she could actually breathe. And with every breath came the essence that she had come to think of as home –something that was utterly and completely Quinn. She burrowed her nose further into the crook of Quinn's neck, trying to inhale as much of Quinn into her body as she could. She had missed Quinn, missed her beyond belief, beyond words. Her extensive vocabulary was rendered completely useless; in this moment, there were no words. As far as she was concerned, those words could wait forever as long as Quinn was content to hold her.

She hummed softly as her fingers spread wider, finding the soft skin where Quinn's shirt had risen up near the small of her back. She licked her lips softly as she traced lazy designs, softly raking her nails along the edge of Quinn's pants. Rachel nuzzled her nose against Quinn's long leonine neck, feeling her pulse beating strongly beneath her skin. She wanted to taste, to feel skin against her lips, to feel the beat thrum beneath her tongue. Without thought of her actions, she lightly brushed her lips against skin, skin so deliciously warm against her lips that it made her mouth water. Rachel's mouth lingered, flicking her tongue out to taste and feel Quinn's heartbeat beneath her mouth.

Quinn's breath froze in her lungs at the first phantom touch only for it to rush out of her as she felt Rachel's mouth descend on her pulse point firmly.

Rachel's hand's loosened around her waist, falling to cup her hips, her thumbs still dragging over sensitive skin. Her body flooded with heat even as she struggled against her body's reaction. "Rae? Ra-Rachel?" Quinn stuttered as she felt Rachel begin to suck on her neck in earnest. She could feel every slide of lips against her neck, every drag of Rachel's teeth against her skin, shoot down her spine, settling low in her belly. Her back still ached and she was afraid her knees would give out if she didn't stop Rachel soon. She blinked and swallowed roughly as many other reasons this wasn't a great idea streamed through her cloudy brain.

"I n-need you to stop before things g-go…" Quinn's words stuck in her throat as Rachel's hands began to slide beneath her shirt, lightly trailing up her sides as her mouth latching roughly onto her pulse point. Quinn couldn't stop the moan that ripped from her throat as thumbs deftly brushed against the sides of her breast.

Rachel hummed into Quinn's neck, hearing her pleas but they were a distant murmur. She was more tuned into what her mouth was doing and the reactions it was causing Quinn than what the woman was saying. Rachel smiled to herself as she felt Quinn lean into her more, felt the taller woman shiver again as she unconsciously tilted her head to the side, giving Rachel more access to do what she wanted. Quinn's arms loosened around her shoulders, only to have one slide into her hair and the other brace her upper arm, almost as if she was unsure if she wanted to push Rachel away, or pull her impossibly closer.

"Fuck! Rachel, please," Quinn huffed out, her hips canting forward unconsciously as Rachel nipped at her ear. She wasn't even sure what she was asking for any more. It had been far too long since she'd felt Rachel's touch and the woman knew what would bring her to her knees. Quinn took a deep breath and tried to remember what brought them here to begin with, but with every swipe of Rachel's tongue it became more difficult.

Quinn lightly tugged at Rachel's hair, pulling her away from her neck long enough for her to form a complete thought. "Rachel," Quinn panted, "we need to talk."

"We do," Rachel agreed as she flicked her tongue against Quinn's ear. She knew Quinn was right, they did need to talk. They needed to make things right, to talk about what had happened, and where they saw this going. They had so much on the line. The logical part of her begged her to put a bit of distance between them and listen to what Quinn had to say. But she missed Quinn, in more than one way, and she felt utterly delightful under her hands and mouth. Rachel's body ached with the need to touch and be touched, and it was drowning out any logic she could half-heartedly try to conjure up.

She smiled to herself as she listened to Quinn's soft whimper as she brought her lips to the sensitive spot behind the blonde's ear, stepping back and pulling the woman with her. Rachel nipped at Quinn's ear again. "We do need to talk," Rachel whispered into it, "but I need to touch you more. Let me touch you, Quinn."

Quinn groaned at the breathy words and cursed her luck. Rachel was usually the unwavering voice of reason with astounding logic when it came to most situations. Logic said they needed to talk. Logically, they should work through all of their issues before falling into bed together. It was the reasonable course of action. But reason and logic were quickly taking a back seat as Rachel did amazing things with her extremely talented mouth, making Quinn's knees quake and her mouth run dry.

Quinn swallowed roughly and tried to clear her head. She wasn't used to being the voice of reason –Quinn was now, and had always been, a slave to her impulses and that was the very thing that had landed them in this position to begin with. It was that notion that finally pulled her from the haze of lust and desire that Rachel had pulled them into. She didn't want to make the same mistakes she always had. Quinn took a deep breath and slid her hand from Rachel's hair, gently pressing against the smaller woman's arms until she could see her face, adorably knitted with confusion.

"I'm serious, Rachel. We need to talk."

Rachel sighed and took a small step back if only to clear her head enough to respond to Quinn. "I already agreed to that statement."

"What you were doing wasn't talking."

"No," Rachel said as she slid her hand over Quinn's collarbone, restraining her desire to lean forward and trail her lips against it, "what I was doing was much more enjoyable."

Quinn huffed in annoyance and stepped around her, back towards the living room she had vacated the moment she knew Rachel was there. She needed to step away, even if only to give herself room to breathe without Rachel's intoxicating scent filling her nose with each breath.

"Would you stop for just a minute and be serious about this? We have a lot that we need to work through, and jumping into bed isn't going to solve any of our problems."

Rachel's hands fell to her sides as she took a reaffirming breath slowly following Quinn further into the condo, "You're right, it won't."

Quinn looked up sharply at the abrupt change and stared at Rachel warily. She knew the look on her face; she'd seen it enough times in high school to know that Rachel wasn't going to give up. Part of her wanted to be angry for it, but the rest of her was too turned on by an aggressive Rachel Berry to let her anger take hold.

Rachel watched the heat spark in Quinn's eyes before the woman blinked it away and knew it wouldn't take much to convince her. Quinn was right, they needed to talk. And they would. But not before Rachel had her way with the beautiful woman she had fallen stupidly in love with.

Rachel cleared her throat and took a small step closer. "Let me ask you something," she waited until Quinn lifted an eyebrow in question, "everything that has happened? Do you think this is something we can work through?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Quinn said without hesitation.

Rachel stepped closer and took Quinn's hands in her own. "And I wouldn't have asked you to stay if I didn't believe that as well," she said softly as she once again began to walk slowly backward, pulling the woman with her. "Quinn, I fully believe that we will work through this. We will talk, I promise you we will."

Quinn nodded, wondering where Rachel was going both with her words and with her steps. Rachel was talking, but not in her normally verbose manner. She was saying what Quinn had hoped to hear, in a way, but each word was tinged in not-now-but-later. Sure enough, Rachel's next words confirmed her suspicions.

"But right now, I need you. I need you to touch me and kiss me and remind me just how much you love me. Just as I need to do the same to you, for you. I've missed you, Quinn. And if these last few days have taught me anything, it's that I want to fight for this."

Quinn sighed and pulled Rachel to a stop, "Rachel, you know I love you. And I've missed you, too. My life doesn't make sense without you in it anymore; which is why I don't think that we should ignore this."

Rachel huffed and dropped Quinn's hand, before taking a breath to center herself. She knew that Quinn's irritation came from both sexual frustration and from the need to actually work through things like a proper adult. She admired Quinn for it and loved her for it even more. But she was not going to be dissuaded. If Quinn needed words, needed to know that they would talk, she could do that.

"Quinn, I'm not suggesting that we jump into bed and forget about everything that's happened. I'm not. I want to talk about this. I need to talk about everything that's happened since I left for this shoot. I'm not suggesting that we ignore what happened. What I am asking for, what I need, " Rachel gave Quinn a small smile as she took both her hands into her own, "is to make love to the woman I am so desperately in love with. The woman I have been apart from for months. Months, Quinn."

Quinn couldn't help but smile at small whine but her breath caught at Rachel's next words. "Please, please don't make me wait any longer. I love you and I promise we will talk but right now, I think I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. I want to show you how much I love you. I want to touch you, to feel you fall apart under my fingers and my tongue, to taste you and kiss yo–" Rachel's plea was cut off as two soft lips pressed against her own.

"Then do it, Rachel. Make love to me," Quinn whispered against Rachel's lips.

Rachel growled at the words, pressing demanding lips against Quinn's. The kiss was desperate and hungry, a clash of tongues and teeth, and everything they both needed. Quinn couldn't help but melt completely into Rachel as the woman pressed her against the wall, not even realizing that either of them had moved. She loved how perfectly their bodies aligned, loving the feel of Rachel's hands on her, her own moving over Rachel's curves.

Quinn tore her mouth away, gasping for air as Rachel's mouth found its way back to her neck. "Rae?"

Rachel moaned as Quinn's hips canted forward as she nipped at her collarbone, trailing her lips down its length. "Mmhmm?"

"Rachel, please."

Rachel heard the plea in Quinn's words and leaned up, her lips dragging across Quinn's as she whispered into them, "What do you need, love?"

"Promise?" Quinn wasn't even sure what she was asking her to promise. She wanted her to promise they would talk. Promise they would work this out. Promise she would show her how much she loved her. Promise that she would never leave.

Rachel closed the minute gap between their lips, sucking Quinn's bottom lip between her own, tugging as she pulled back just far enough to breath out her answer. "Yes," Rachel said with such conviction that Quinn could do nothing but surge forward and capture Rachel's lips with her own.

Quinn ripped their lips apart, gasping as Rachel used the move to kiss her way along her jaw and down her neck. She gasped as teeth drug none too gently against her pulse point. "Then can we please go find a bed," Quinn pleaded even as she held Rachel to her neck, "because I don't think my legs will hold me up much longer."

Rachel chuckled as she stepped back and Quinn lost her breath again. Rachel's hooded eyes were almost coal black, flaming with desire. Her hair was disheveled from Quinn running her fingers through it as they kissed. Her cheeks and chest were flush with arousal and she was almost panting out her need. Quinn's self-control was at its breaking point, ready to take Rachel then and there, her back and neck be damned.

Rachel cupped her cheek and ran her thumb against Quinn's bottom lip, forcing her to hang on just a little bit longer. "I'm sure there is a bed in this place somewhere. Maybe we can find it together?"

Rachel couldn't take her eyes off of Quinn as they traversed through the suite, smiling each time that Quinn's eyes met her own. Neither paid mind to the room they'd found behind a set of double doors other than to make note that the room had a bed. The moment they'd stepped through the doors Rachel turned, pulling Quinn's arms around her shoulders, her own falling to Quinn's hips. The frantic need that had driven Rachel seemed to be tempered with the knowledge that they truly had time; that this wasn't the end, they weren't at their end. She wanted Quinn just as much as she had in the foray but now she also wanted to savor each movement, each taste; each and every touch. They both sighed softly as Rachel drew Quinn close enough for their bodies to brush against one another's.

Quinn melted into Rachel's embrace, running her hands up each side of Rachel's neck, gently bringing their lips together. She sighed as Quinn grazed tender kiss after tender kiss upon her lips, each kiss as soft as the first, each just as fleeting. The gentle kisses made Rachel's heart flutter even as she yearned for more contact. Quinn smirked as she felt Rachel rise to her toes as she attempted to deepen the kiss. Quinn playfully pulled back, only allowing their lips to barely brush against the others.

"Quinn," Rachel half breathed, half whined as she let her heels drop to the floor.

Quinn shivered; the sound of her name on Rachel's lips, sighed just so, just did something to her. Quinn stroked her thumbs across Rachel's cheeks as she pulled back and took in the woman standing in front of her. Rachel looked up at her with such open longing, her eyes dark and hooded with need, yet still, beneath the desire Quinn saw the love the smaller woman held for her. It made her breath catch in her throat and once again made her feel unworthy.

"Don't," Rachel whispered as she pressed her cheek into Quinn's palm, seeing the flash of regret and guilt that filled green eyes. "There's time for that later. Stay with me. Stay in this moment with me."

Quinn nodded and closed the gap between them. She realized as she softly flicked her tongue against Rachel's lips that maybe her diva was right; this was what she needed, what they both needed. They quickly lost themselves in the feel and taste they'd both missed out on over their forced separation. Quinn stopped holding back and let their passion inflame them both, burning through them until it threatened to suffocate them, both panting softly when they finally parted.

"I've missed you," Quinn sighed.

"And I, you," Rachel said softly as she plucked at the buttons of Quinn's blouse. "May I?"

Quinn licked her lips and nodded her assent. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt delicate fingers worked at the front of her shirt, pausing every few moments to stroke against the newly exposed skin. Goosebumps spread across her skin, need settling low in her belly, making each of her nerve-endings stand on end and beg for attention. Quinn shivered, more from the feeling of Rachel's hands on her body than from the cold that flitted over her skin as her shirt slowly slid to the floor. She was content for a time to let Rachel undress her, sighing as silky lips dusted over her skin until she stood before Rachel completely bare.

They exchanged gentle kisses, both their lips and fingers unhurried as Quinn returned the favor, slowly peeling away each article of clothing, kissing soft skin before finding Rachel's lips over and over again. Both women moaned softly as heated skin met and hands and lips began to roam. Quinn shuddered with need as Rachel's lips traveled over the sharp edge of her collarbone, her hips canting forward with the slight nip of teeth.

"Please, Rae," she softly begged. Quinn gasped as Rachel's lips traveled higher, up her sensitive neck, and along the edge of her jaw before claiming her lips. The small diva walked them backward until Quinn's legs hit the edge of the bed. She watched as Rachel lifted her hand and gently pressed against Quinn's shoulder, silently willing her to move onto bed. She could do nothing more than nod, her eyes locked onto Rachel's as they both slowly crawled their way up the center. Quinn sighed happily Rachel slid up her body. Quinn couldn't look away from the absolute love and devotion that shown from Rachel's eyes as they both reverential touched, neither wanting to push things further than the gentle caresses they were exchanging. It was soft, and peaceful, and utterly overwhelming.

As Rachel stared into green eyes she felt as if she was truly looking into the other woman's soul. She could see her love and desire reflected back at her, but beneath that was Quinn's fear and vulnerability, her heart, and her devotion. And as Rachel cupped Quinn's chin in her hand, she silently promised to be gentle with all Quinn was giving her. Her lips lowered slowly to claim Quinn's as she settled her body against the naked one beneath her. They spent countless moments wrapped up in each other, in a series of never-ending kisses that were slow but filled with love and passion, each kiss becoming more intense than the one before it until they left them breathless and craving more.

"Rae," Quinn whispered as she raked her nails against Rachel's scalp. Quinn wasn't even sure what else she was going to say, her words falling away as she felt Rachel begin to move, content to just feel. Quinn let her eyes fall closed as she felt small hands dancing against her torso, her head falling against the headboard behind her as Rachel's lithe body slid over hers, feeling the small diva rise to her knees to straddle her lap. Quinn slowly opened her eyes as her hands lifted to settle on soft hips.

Rachel slid her hands up Quinn's shoulders, digging her fingers into soft, blond locks as she struggled to find words, wanting to say so much in that moment. She opened her mouth, but no words came forth as Quinn pulled her closer until they were touching from hips to sternum. Rachel licked her lips and took a breath, wanting to tell Quinn that she was sorry she let things go as far as they had. That she loved her unlike she'd ever loved anyone. That she never wanted this space between them again. Yet, the words floundered on her tongue.

"Shhh," Quinn whispered as she tipped her head up, nipping at Rachel's bottom lip. Rachel pressed her hips against Quinn's abs as the woman played with her lip with her teeth and tongue, stealing all the words she couldn't speak from her mind.

Her hands traveled over Rachel's back, worshiping every dip and muscle, loving the feel of the heated skin beneath her fingertips before letting one lift between their bodies. Rachel mewed softly as Quinn's fingers played over the top of her breast, sliding up her neck, scratching lightly against her skin. She sighed as Quinn cupped her jaw, tilting her head to allow her to deepen her teasing kiss. Quinn's tongue pushed passed Rachel's lips, twisting it to meet Rachel's, flicking against the roof of her mouth, passionately devouring every gasp and whimper that made it passed Rachel's lips.

Rachel shivered and pulled away to catch her breath, gazing down into Quinn's eyes, her own dark with desire and Rachel realized that sometimes words weren't needed. They gazed at each other for long moments, just taking each other, knowing the other woman was there and not going anywhere, regardless of all they had been through. Quinn's breath caught in her chest with the overpowering emotions that spread through her, so much overwhelming love for Rachel, so much need for the other woman. Not just physically but emotionally. Rachel was what held her together every day, through the good and the bad and she needed Rachel to know that, to understand just how much she meant to her.

Quinn bucked her hips and turned them, pressing Rachel into the bed, even as she bit her lip to keep from crying out, her back displeased with the move.

"Hey," Rachel panted as she ran her fingers through Quinn's wavy hair, "are you okay?"

"I guess I'm not as smooth as I sometimes pretend to be."

"You're perfect just as you are," Rachel assured her as Quinn as she rested her head on Rachel's shoulder.

Quinn snorted, "I'm not." Quinn pressed a small kiss to Rachel's shoulder to cut off any response before she lifted her head. She took a small breath to steady herself as she began to run her hands over Rachel's body, stopping to caress the soft curve of her breast. "Is this okay?"

Rachel's eyes searched Quinn's face as the woman held herself still, giving her all the time she needed before she whispered out one word. "Yes."

They both knew there was more to that one word than one syllable could convey. That word meant "Yes." It meant, "I love you." It meant, "I've missed you and I trust you." It meant, "I forgive you."

Quinn's lips pass over hers, soft and gentle, silently they whispered, "I'm sorry." They said, "I love you, too." They said, "I never meant to hurt you." They said, "I'm here." Just a brush of soft lips pressed against one another until Rachel's lips parted and the kiss deepened, turned desperate and passionate and everything that they both had been missing for so long.

"Q-Quinn," Rachel murmured into the kiss, soft, broken, needy.

The sound hit Quinn in her chest and she pushed closer, kissing Rachel with abandon, pulling away only to find more skin with her mouth. Rachel pressed her body into Quinn's as the woman ran her tongue along Rachel's neck, feeling the vibrations of her quiet whimpers and moans against her lips. The small singer released a shuddery sigh as her eyes flutter closed, swallowing roughly as Quinn peppering kisses across her neck, briefly pausing to suck softly at her pulse point before her lips trailed up to Rachel's ear. Rachel groaned as Quinn ghosted a kiss over the shell of her ear, sending shivers trembling through Rachel's body as she clung to the last bit of her sanity.

"I love you," Quinn whispered softly, "I will always love you," she promised, kissing the soft lobe again. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut feeling hot tears burning against her eyes, overwhelmed by the strength of the emotions flowing through her, the feeling of Quinn flowing over her. With her eyes closed, it felt as if Quinn was everywhere. Hands roamed over every inch of her body, lips caressing. She felt her in every breath she took, in every minute movement. Quinn worshiped her body, caressing every inch of her and Rachel couldn't stop the tears that slowly made their way from the corner of her eyes. Rachel gasped and her back arched off the bed as wet lips encircled her rock hard nipple, sucking at it gently; tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. Rachel cried out as tongue became teeth, tangling her hands in silky blond hair, holding Quinn captive at her breasts as her body writhed with need.

"Please," Rachel begged softly as her hips rocked up, trying to find friction to ease the ache that filled her, "Please."

Quinn raked her teeth over Rachel's nipple one last time before she slowly kissed her way lower. Rachel parted her legs willing Quinn to go where she needed her most, but Quinn's mouth lingered, mapping out with her tongue the sharp angle of Rachel's hipbone, tempered by her womanly curves. She curved her hand around the inside of Rachel's thigh feeling the powerful muscle flex beneath the grip of her fingers, resting just shy of where she knew Rachel was urging her to go. She didn't need Rachel's deep sigh to let her know how much the other woman wanted this, she could feel Rachel's need coating the smaller woman's thighs, she could hear it in her breathy gasp, smell it in the air around them.

Quinn licked the crease that joined Rachel's torso and thighs, knowing that it would drive the small diva insane, even as her fingers traced through the moisture that painted Rachel's thighs, sliding up towards the source. Rachel's moan was echoed by her own as warm, wet, heat met her touch, causing Quinn to bite down with desire as she ran her fingers through the silky wetness. Quinn leaned her head against Rachel's thighs as she watched her fingers play, slowly stroking up and down swollen pink lips. Fingers that spent long moments teasing before they dipped lower, slipping through Rachel's folds, pausing at her entrance. Her eyes moved up the length of Rachel's body to find her love's eyes pressed tightly closed, her neck arched and her lips pursed with every small pant. Her skin was flushed with arousal and her muscles were taut with need.

As Quinn's movement stilled, dark lust blown eyes sprung open and bore into her, making Quinn clinch her thighs at the inferno of desire that flared in them. "Please, Quinn, please. Don't make me wait for you any longer."

Quinn moaned at the plea and turned her head, nuzzling against the small patch of hair between Rachel's legs. Her tongue slowly moved up the length of her as two fingers slowly sunk inside, pulling out before sliding back into welcoming heat. Even with Rachel's words still ringing in her ears, Quinn kept her pace leisurely, wanting Rachel's pleasure to build slowly. Rachel moaned at the sensation, raising her hips to meet each thrust of Quinn's fingers. A groan ripping from her throat as Quinn flicked her tongue against Rachel's clit as she curled her fingers to press against Rachel's innermost walls. Rachel rocked steadily against Quinn's fingers and tongue, willing her to move faster but never wanting this moment to end just the same. Each movement steadily brought Rachel higher, closer to her peak, but it was never enough stimulation to completely push her over.

Rachel's mews became louder and more frequent as her hips bucked against Quinn faster and harder. Quinn recognized Rachel's movements were becoming desperate and knew drawing it out any longer would be cruel. She realized she didn't want to wait any longer. She wanted to see Rachel fall completely apart under her touch, her tongue. She slowly pulled her fingers out, ignoring the simpering whine that spilled from Rachel's lips as she gave her one final lick. She waited until Rachel's eyes were locked with her own before she sucked Rachel's throbbing clit into her mouth, filling her with roughly with three fingers, curling them as she stroked her hard and fast. It was just what Rachel needed to give her that final push. Quinn held on as hips canted forward and Rachel's back left the bed with a reverent cry.

Rachel cried out as she rocked steadily against Quinn's fingers and tongue, the feel of her so overwhelming and pleasurable. She held on, fingers digging into her shoulder as she rode out her orgasm before collapsing back in bed. Her body trembled with aftershocks as Quinn slowly kissed her way up Rachel's torso, soft moans still falling from her lips. As soon as she was close enough, Rachel threw her arms around Quinn and pulled her close, her tears falling in earnest. They remained like that, Quinn absorbing Rachel's soft panting and gentle moans as she slowly came down.

"Oh. Oh fuck," she whimpered into the crook of Quinn's neck as she held the woman close to her, loving the sensation of still being filled by her as she still clenched around Quinn's fingers. The feel of Quinn's breath against her neck was comforting as she felt her orgasm finally begin to cool. "Don't move," she pleaded even as her hips thrust up gently.

"I'm here, love," Quinn promised.

They lay silently in one another's embrace until Quinn could hear Rachel's heartbeat begin to settle. Only then did she slowly move her fingers out of the warm, wet embrace that still surrounded them. She hesitated for only a moment at Rachel's entrance before she gently pressed back inside, eliciting another shuddering sigh from Rachel's lips.

"Qu-Quinn?" Rachel half asked, half moaned as Quinn steadily moved her fingers slowly in and out of Rachel's warmth.

"Shh," Quinn whispered as she pressed her lips against Rachel's neck.

Rachel felt the wetness at her thigh and clenching her inner muscles around Quinn's fingers, getting wetter from knowing just how aroused Quinn was. Quinn sighed in relief as Rachel lifted her leg higher giving Quinn something to find purchase on as she slowly rocked her hips forward, digging her fingers deeper inside Rachel. Quinn shuddered from the small noises that escaped Rachel's mouth and began to rock her hips in earnest against the small woman's thigh.

Rachel was convinced that there was nothing better than the feel of Quinn touching her as the woman slowly pleasured herself against Rachel. Green eyes were screwed shut, her face filled with a look bordering between concentration and pleasure as she pressed herself harder against her thigh, fingers quickening in pace slightly. The need to touch Quinn, to satisfy her, began to overwhelm Rachel but she was loathed to move from where she was, the sight of Quinn rocking above her too great. She bucked her hips gently, giving her enough room to slide her hand between them, sinking between Quinn's legs.

Quinn groaned, her fingers moving faster within Rachel as Rachel tried to match her pace. The women soon found a rhythm, both rocking into the other's hand faster and faster. Sweat slid down Quinn's back with the effort it took to maintain, but she was so close.

"So, Rae, so good," Quinn groaned into Rachel's neck as she thrust her hips, riding Rachel's fingers with utter abandonment. Rachel could only moan in reply, wrapped in a haze of pleasure and touch, giving and taking in equal measures, moving with precise motions, hitting the spot inside Quinn that she knew would push her closer to the edge, wanting them to peak together. Rachel's back arched as Quinn pushed her thigh against her hand, the added pressure making her sob out Quinn's name.

"Mmmm, Quinn. M'so close," she slurred, her free hand jerkily finding purchase on the back of Quinn's neck, dragging her lips in for a sloppy kiss, more teeth and panting than passionate kissing.

"Come for me, love."

"With you, Quinn. With you," Rachel panted against her lips, pressing Quinn's forehead to her own as she felt herself on the edge of that precipice, knowing that any moment she would be spiraling off of it. Quinn continued her movements, increasing the roughness of them slightly.

"With you."

The words echoed through Rachel's body as she felt every muscle in her body stiffen, white hot heat erupting from her center, blinding her and making her head spin deliciously. Quinn's body stalled over her as she let out a shuddery cry, mouth open in silent ecstasy as she pressed down into Rachel's fingers as hard as possible. A choked moan escaped her as Rachel gently flicked her thumb over her clit before the smaller woman was seized with another wave of ecstasy. Rachel shivered with pleasure as Quinn shook above her and tried to remember to continue rubbing barely there circles over Quinn's hood as the woman convulsed in her still silent orgasm.

Quinn collapsed against Rachel with a whoosh of air, panting heavily as she recovered from the intensity of the orgasm. Quinn began to chuckle as she caught her breath. "Jesus, I'm going to regret that later."

"Worth it?" Rachel asked as she looked into smiling eyes. She pushed sweat-darkened hair from Quinn's brow, enjoying the feeling of the taller woman getting comfortable against her shoulder.

"Totally."

Rachel hummed in contentment as Quinn settled next to her, head on her shoulder, leg draped over her thigh. She ran her fingers softly over Quinn's back, silently vowing no matter what happened the rest of the day that she would make sure the woman soaked later to help reduce some of her pain. She smiled as she felt Quinn's fingers lightly dance over her stomach, tracing invisible patterns across her skin. They let the silence and cool air settle over their skin as they both became lost in their own thoughts and the feeling of the other woman next to them.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Rachel asked as she felt Quinn's fingers stall against her lower stomach.

"Hmm? Oh, I was just thinking that this day definitely didn't turn out how I thought it would."

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans," Rachel said softly as she began to lightly massage Quinn's neck.

"I'm pretty sure my lack of articulation started it," Quinn sighed. "I had all these things I wanted to say to you, but the moment I saw you, I forgot how to speak."

"I don't think I fared much better, mon chaton."

"You haven't called me that for a while."

Rachel hummed in agreement, "I haven't, but it seemed appropriate here."

"We still need to talk. Well, I need to talk, and I need you to listen."

"I can try."

Quinn lifted herself up onto her elbow and looked at Rachel. "No, Rae, I mean it. I need you to listen. I need you to," Quinn sighed and shook her head, "I need you to get dressed, because there is no way I am going to be able to get through this conversation with you looking so tempting."

Rachel smiled and ran her hand down Quinn's side, "I thought you liked me like this."

Quinn rolled her eyes before she rolled away from the devil herself, "You know I do."

Rachel shifted to her knees and crawled behind Quinn, leaning in close to her ear. "Que je sais."

"Oh no, no you don't," Quinn laughed as she swatted Rachel away and shot from the bed.

"No?" Rachel asked, mischief dancing in her eyes. She knew they had to talk, but a wound up Quinn was just too much fun to pass up. "Mais je ne peux pas vivre sans toi."

"The devil is tempting me, I just know it," Quinn whispered as she stared at the ceiling. "And they always said that I was the one with the evil streak." Quinn's eyebrow rose as she stared down the evil woman before her. "I don't know what you said, but no," Quinn growled as she turned to hide her smile as she caught Rachel wiggling her eyebrows.

"I'm going to one of the other rooms in this place to shower. Alone. Because you are incorrigible and you swore to me that we would talk. There is a lot that has happened in the last week or so that I need to tell you. And as much as I would love to fall back into that bed with you and let you whisper sweet nothings to me in any language you so choose, we," she moved her hand in the small space between them to indicate the two of them even as she stooped to pick up her things, "really need to talk first."

Rachel let her pick up her clothes before she stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for teasing you. I did promise, and I will stand by that promise, just please don't go."

Quinn looked over her shoulder and grinned, "I'm not going anywhere, Rae. I will be just down the hall."

"Why go down the hall when there is a perfectly good en suite right here that we can share?" Rachel huffed and leaned her head against Quinn's shoulder. "Fine, but after we've sorted everything out, we're not leaving that bed for anything other than food."

Quinn chuckled. "You mean not even to experience the city of love?"

"The city will always be here."

"And so will I."

Rachel rocked her head from side to side, not wanting to acknowledge Quinn had a point. "I can experience all the romance I need to within these four walls for the next few days. After that, well, I guess we can make things up as we go along."

Quinn smiled to herself at Rachel's petulance. If anyone had told her back in high school that Rachel would be an insatiable lover she would have probably laughed at them. Then again, if anyone had told her back in high school that she would be Rachel's lover, she probably would have made that person's life a living hell.

"Go shower," Rachel sighed as she pushed Quinn towards the door. "I'll do the same. Alone. Just as I have for months, Quinn. Months."

"Don't you start with me," Quinn said as she stepped around Rachel, kissing her shoulder as she passed. "You've survived taking a shower alone for months Rachel. You can survive one more day."

By the time that Rachel had finally emerged from her shower, she could hear soft jazz playing from the living room and could smell something tantalizing wafting through the air. She walked softly down the hall, smiling as she saw a table pulled before a bay window with the city sparkling in the distance. Even more stunning than the view was her lover leaning against the sill, a glass of wine in hand.

"God, I've missed you."

Quinn started and looked over her shoulder with a smile. "Hello, beautiful."

"What's this?" Rachel asked as she pointed to the small table filled with containers of food and an open bottle of wine.

"I don't know about you, but I deal with emotional conversations better on a full stomach."

Rachel lifted a shoulder, "Emotional conversations usually cause my stomach to turn." Rachel hesitated as she slid her fingers across the table top as she walked around it. "Is that what this is going to be? An emotional conversation?"

Quinn took a fortifying breath. "I… Rachel, you know how hard it is for me to apologize, even if I know I am in the wrong. And I was in the wrong." Quinn took a sip of her wine as she tried to parcel out what she wanted to say, thankful that Rachel was giving her a chance to gather her thoughts. "I wasn't sure if you had eaten. I hadn't really been up to eating the last few days. I… I've been a bit nervous about seeing you," Quinn admitted softly. "This is probably not something we should talk about over an evening meal, but we promised to talk, and I have so much I want to say to you, to tell you."

Rachel reached out and took Quinn's free hand into her own, lacing their fingers together. "This smells fantastic and I've just realized I am starving. We can still talk, still reconnect while we enjoy the food and company, and if anything comes up while we eat and we're not too uncomfortable talking about it at that moment, then we'll do so. If not, we can shelf that part of the discussion until we've had our fill."

Quinn nodded and gave Rachel a relieved smile, "Okay."

"Good, because I really would like to hear more about what you've been up to these last few weeks without me," Rachel said as she slid into one of the chairs that Quinn had pulled in front of the window for them to share their meal together.

"Oh, now it's weeks. Before it was months, Quinn, months!" Quinn teased as she poured Rachel a glass of wine and set her food in front of her with a flourish. "I can guarantee that this isn't the best that Paris has to offer, but it was the first place I found with decent reviews and a good vegetarian menu."

"It looks wonderful, Quinn. Thank you for thinking of this. I really am quite hungry," Rachel admitted as she dug into her dinner.

Quinn smiled to herself as Rachel ate with gusto and leaned over to pick at her own food. She was honest when she said she hadn't had much of an appetite over the last week and even now the looming conversation held more of her attention than the food before her did. It must have shown on her face as she felt Rachel's hand slip over hers.

"Quinn, please try to eat. Especially if you're going to be having wine." Quinn nodded and picked up her sandwich and took a bite, relaxing just a bit as Rachel smiled at her. "If I wasn't vehemently against the consumption of animal flesh I would venture to say that actually looks tasty."

"You sure I can't convince you to taste the delicious charred bovine tissue, topped with béarnaise sauce and a hearty conglomeration of sautéed summer vegetables?" Quinn asked, dangling her sandwich over the table, eyes dancing with mischief.

"You're lucky that I have not eaten because the words 'delicious' and 'charred tissue' should never belong together in my presence. How can you even eat that knowing what it was?"

Quinn pulled her sandwich back towards her mouth and shrugged. "Because it tastes good."

"Animals used to use that tissue to walk, to move, to procreate."

Rachel smiled in triumph when Quinn looked down at her sandwich and screwed up her face. "Lovely, Rae. I thought you wanted me to eat."

"I do," Rachel smirked as she took a bite of her pasta. "I just want you to eat wisely. Our bodies are meant to be a temple and we should only put the very best into it. Red meat is horrible for your body."

"Just looking out for me?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "Always."

Quinn shook her head, "I'm still eating this."

"And I will still remind you on a regular basis that what you eat is important."

"Duly noted."

"So, tell me about things at home."

Quinn nodded and filled her in on what little had happened since she had been gone. Which was practically nothing up until the last two weeks. Rachel listened and filled Quinn in on what it was like to film on location, complaining loudly about the amount of sand that would always end up trailing her back to her apartment each night. Both women deftly navigated around anything that would possibly bring up what had happened, silently agreeing to hold off on the topic until they'd finished their meals.

"Daddy always said that a healthy appetite is the best seasoning. I have to agree because though you may have said that it wasn't the best Paris had to offer, it was quite tasty."

Quinn hummed into her glass, surprised that she had not only finished her steak sandwich but her fries as well. "Should we take this conversation somewhere more comfortable?"

Rachel nodded and the two women rose and made their way to the couch, curling up next to one another. "Is this okay?" Rachel asked as she leaned into Quinn's side, her legs tucked under her, one hand draped across Quinn's thigh while the other held her wine glass.

"Perfect." Quinn was glad that Rachel had picked a position that didn't demand eye contact, yet let them remain in the comfort of each other's arms. "I… I would like to ask you for something."

Rachel lifted her head from where she had settled it against Quinn's shoulder. "Anything."

"Would you be willing to tell me again what happened between you and that woman the night I lost it?"

"I would but may I inquire into why you would want me to tell you again to begin with. As you said, the last time I did, you went too far and…"

Quinn placed her finger gently over Rachel's lips, knowing if she let her continue that they would be here all night and she really did want to get this conversation on with. "Humor me? Please? I know I was irate the first time you told me, and I didn't take the time to fully hear you out. I would like to know, not because I am angry or jealous, but because I am curious. I want to know how big of an ass I am."

"You're not an ass." Rachel's eyes flashed when Quinn's mouth opened to argue. "You're not. You might have made an asshole comment, but that doesn't make you one. You are simply a woman who made a mistake and is trying to remedy that. But to answer, yes, I would be willing to tell you what happened that night if you are sure it won't end up in anger or jealousy."

"I can't promise I won't be jealous. Rachel, those women got to spend time with you that I couldn't, attempted kisses or not."

"Hmm, well I guess I can understand that. I hated that April got to hang out with you the last two months while I'll was stuck there alone." Rachel sipped at her wine before she sat forward and placed it on the coffee table. "The cast and crew were amazing. The days were long and hard and, of course, I was missing you. But I made a few friends. Camilla, Camie, was one of the local Production Assistance who I worked closely with. She was there to offer a comforting word or a smile when I needed it, which I appreciated. She knew I was, for lack of a better term, bummed out over not talking to you for almost two weeks and she invited me over to a dinner her and her roommate, Alejandra, was having. It was just a bunch of people sharing food and enjoying a few drinks.

"Cammie is sweet, mostly quiet, but easy to talk to. As was her roommate, Alejandra. We spent the evening chatting about musicals and arguing with another of their friends about literature. I didn't even realize that she had been flirting with me for most of the night. I just assumed she was loud, friendly, and not afraid of human contact. She comes from a completely different culture than we do so I just assumed it was how she was raised," Rachel shrugged.

"So I didn't think anything about it when I slipped out onto the balcony to get a bit of air and she approached me. Before I knew what was happening, she was leaning in. She stopped as soon as I asked her to, I told her I was happily in a relationship, and she asked who the lucky woman was. About that time Camie came out and begged to hear more about you as well."

"And then I called and ruined everything." The silence that surrounded them spoke the truth of the statement.

"I want to begin by apologizing. I should not have lost control of myself like that. Knowing the whole story, which is almost exactly what you tried to tell me that night, I guess is flattering, in a way. To know you not only turned her away but to speak of me afterward? I'm sorry I let my anger and jealousy and hang-ups get the better of me. There is no excuse for it."

"But why?" Rachel sat up and looked imploringly at Quinn. "I guess that's the thing that has bothered me the most. I didn't understand what happened. I didn't think I had ever given you a reason to doubt me or to question my faithfulness. From my point of view, we were fine. We were in a good place. Don't get me wrong, I understand that we hadn't been able to see each other face to face for a while, but I tried to make sure I connected with you at least once a day, even if I was beyond exhausted. It just… it seemed to come out of nowhere."

Quinn sighed and looked down at her lap. "I… I am in no way excusing my behavior or what I said. It was and is inexcusable. Even as the words left my mouth I knew it was a mistake. Honestly, it was probably a mistake to call you at all that night."

Quinn froze as she looked up and saw the pain that shot through Rachel's eyes at that. "Please, let me explain. There is a reason I shouldn't have called you."

Rachel nodded and squeezed Quinn's hand. "Okay," she said roughly, trying to speak around the lump in her throat. She nodded to herself before she spun around on the couch, laying her head onto Quinn's lap.

Quinn smiled down at her as she shook her head. If it made Rachel more comfortable she would refuse her nothing, even if this was the oddest way she had ever held a serious conversation.

"I hadn't really talked to you in days and nothing I did seemed to break me out of my funk. I tried taking pictures or going surfing or calling up friends to meet for lunch or dinner -none of it mattered though because I missed you and my insecurity reared its nasty head and I started questioning if you missed me at all. You would text sporadically, but it wasn't… I feel like a clingy, codependent, ass -but it wasn't enough."

"Honestly, that's on me, not you, and I'll come back to that. But the point is; my fears and jealousy grew every hour that passed that I didn't hear from you. And I hated it. I hated that I felt like that, that I was clingy, and jealous, and…" Quinn stopped and blew out a heavy breath.

"I'm sorry you felt like that."

"I'm not. As much as I hate that we fought, I am almost glad we did because it's made me face up to a lot of things I would never have otherwise."

"What do you mean?"

"The night before I called you, I just needed someone to talk to, so I called up Frannie," Quinn smiled down at Rachel as the woman wiggled with happiness at that thought. "She made me realize that a lot of what I was feeling went back to how we grew up as kids. You know a little bit of my family history, the issues I have had with both of my parents, but did you know that my father cheated on my mother on a regular basis?" Rachel shook her head slightly, sighing quietly as Quinn's hands found her hair.

"He did. It was the well-known family secret. We grew up thinking that was normal. That no one could be trusted and that everyone had a hidden agenda. My sister ended up marrying someone just like Daddy for that exact reason. She said in an abstract way that she knew it wasn't right but we had been taught to pretend that everything was okay."

"So I had all of this still rattling around my head when I called you. I had all my jealousies and my issues and I let it get the better of me." Quinn swallowed roughly, feeling her eyes begin to fill with tears she tried to blink away. "I lashed out and I took it out on you."

"Oh, Quinn." Rachel reached up and gently placed her hand on her love's cheek.

Quinn held it there, even as she shook her head. "No, I messed up. None of that excuses what I did." Quinn's eyes slipped closed. "I can't keep lashing out when I'm upset or uncomfortable. It's not okay."

Quinn opened her eyes and looked down into the two caring brown eyes staring up at her. "Which is why I've started going to counseling. One day we're going to be married and have kids and I don't want them to ever have to feel like they aren't loved. And that means I have to learn to deal with my issues so I don't lash out at them or you like this ever again."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears the moment Quinn admitted she was trying to get help. She never expected it from Quinn but she knew it was a step in the right direction. Yet, it was the reasoning behind it that made a sob catch in her throat.

Rachel sat up, wanting to see Quinn's eyes, see her face, as she processed what she had just said. "You, you see us… married? Kids?"

Quinn's eyes shot up as she registered the astonishment and awe those words held. She smiled softly as she ran the back of her fingers across Rachel's cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Where did you see this going, Rae? I love you and I meant it when I said I was in it for the long haul. And that means doing whatever I have to to make this right and to make sure something like this never happens again."

"Oh, Quinn, this isn't going to be the only time we fight. As long as we can talk it out, every time, then we can make it through almost anything." Rachel sighed, "And that's where I messed up. I shut you out. Instead of talking to you, or trying to find out why you'd lost it the way you had, I cut off all forms of communication. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for that."

"I can if you can find it in yours to forgive me for losing it and accusing you of cheating. I know, Rae, I really, truly do know that you would never. I should have talked to you about what I was feeling instead of trying to bury it."

"And I should have tried to keep in contact more so your insecurities wouldn't have had a chance to run wild." Rachel leaned in and softly kissed Quinn's lips. "I am so proud of you for going to get some help. And I am more than willing to go with you anytime you need."

Quinn nodded, "I think I need to focus on my stuff for a while, but if I think it's needed I'll tell you."

Rachel nods and they rested together quietly for a moment.

"I've missed you," Quinn said for what seemed like the thousandth time that evening.

"And I you, mon chaton."


End file.
